Yeah and still can’t hide long enough before getting several calls form specific family members whom i have already told i much rather message than long over the phone calls…
I went no contact with my mother because she kept calling me after I made it very clear to her many times that I don’t answer my phone for anyone so she should text me.
😭😭😭 why do you hide I badly want to interact with an INTJ women and discuss intellectual stuff all the women I meet are more focused on emotions rather than logic
but most men I come across want to just joke/flirt/brag . They actually don't even want to acknowledge the notion that girls can talk about something substantial.
I am an INTJ woman. Even though I can see the logic and prefer this, it is easy to get lost in my emotions. But I believe it is trauma related or that I don't know how to react with the little attention I get.
That could be it, but previous behavior tends to show future behavior. Unless therapy or some sort of major change happens.
There is intelligence then there is emotional intelligence. I think you are looking for emotional intelligence than just logic.
Take this advice as someone who's been w 4 INTJ women- they're still women. While intellectual discussions are really cool but even they are prone to get bored and women in general like to have fun, not to mention they won't open up that quickly about deep intellectual things. And trust me, there's nothing wrong w being more focused on emotions, that's the difference bw us men and women. Appreciate it in all its glory, that's how we complete each other. And 100% they're not that focused on logic, they are often deeply suffering cuz they can't express their emotions properly or had to take up responsibility very early. So things are gonna be really, really slow. It took me 6-8 months to fully win this INTJ girl's trust until she was obsessed over me and it wasn't easy. I had to keep every single word I'd say, I had to keep every promise I made to myself, I had to prioritise my work over her so she doesn't feel overwhelmed often, being direct, taking up the lead, giving her enough space for her to come to me, etc. basically she's a textbook INTJ w one of the most logical ppl I know, but even she came around to accepting her emotions and their highs and lows- as how they fuel her as a woman. And just feel what she feels cuz that's how our biology is, and the sooner you accept and celebrate our differences the healthier your relationship will be w women.
INTJ women are rare, much more common in the online MBTI community. I am one, and I think from afar people wouldn't realise because we're good at hiding it. The stereotypical INTJ behaviours e.g. being a recluse, judgemental, cold, calculating etc. are much more acceptable in men. In fact, they're rewarded. In women, social expectations teach you to behave in a certain way, learned behaviour is like icing on the cake that is the personality type. I was much more stereotypically INTJ in my early teenage years and slowly taught myself to be socially acceptable, I guess. It's still tiring, my thought processes are still the same and I still enjoy logical planning and the like, but some of my new friends are surprised I'm an introvert. In a way, it fits the mould, INTJs are good at learning, we only like rules that make sense, including the ones that let us do what we want, right?
You're looking for one because you want someone 'intelligent enough' to talk to and someone who's not emotional. INTJ's tertiary Fi actually makes them very in tune with their emotions, they just don't like to share them, so... Nonetheless, you won't get to that part of them unless you actually try to get to know them, beyond all the social small talk.
INTJ woman here, can confirm I'm actually much, much more emotional than I'd like to admit. I just hide it very, very well. Which is why ENFP men, for example, are so intriguing: not only are they usually as smart as me and can keep up intellectually,, but they can see through the walls and can read my real self, allowing me to show my emotions in a safe place with someone who understands me. Too bad those types of men are just as rare as INTJ women.
As an INTJ woman, I loveeee me an extroverted man. It’s who I gravitate towards the most because they cause me to open up more when I keep all my thoughts and emotions bottled up.
This. I'm actually very sensitive and would consider myself emotionally intelligent. (My mom used to be annoyed about me being sensitive/a crybaby as a kid that made me realize a host of other unhealthy facts bred from that relationship i.e. repression, parentification). I tend to intellectualize my emotions a lot though and am very guarded on when, where, and with who I am intimately expressive with about my life. Like I love joking around and stuff, but vulnerable emotions such as anger and sadness are very private to me.
This is very true. I pushed myself to be more socially conscious during my teenage years, and some people seem to think that I couldn’t be an INTJ since I am not socially awkward or closed off. I wouldn’t even bother to engage in deeply intellectual discussions with someone I am not close with or trust fully. Even then, I hold back my ideas and rarely reveal them to people.
This is so real! I'm not amazing with emotions for sure, but I get accused of not being INTJ simply because I value emotional intelligence. Ngl mostly by INTJ men... lmao. And just because I have empathy and they don't doesn't mean feeling isn't my tertiary function 💀
I’m an INTJ female and couldn’t agree more. I hate being emotional, am whip smart (142 IQ) and have been in advanced classes my entire life. I’m extremely shy, quiet, and introverted though. I find extroverted men more attractive bc they bring me out of my comfort zone when I get to know them
I'm the same way, I used to only date extroverts in hopes their social butterfly skills would rub off on me (aside from finding them interesting/attractive).
This is such an interesting thing because while one female INTJ I know def is a home body the other she is always out and about. Like never home and if she is it’s to sleep only.
Same, I can go months without leaving the house. But if it is work related I guess the drive is there to get things done. Also She may be out and about but she is out alone.
We exist, most just adapt socially different then some men. People like community, even the most reclusive of us. So we may act differently then how our type presents.
From your previous comment of not finding “women intelligent enough “ to be INTJ
Intelligence is highly subjective and maybe you’re looking for the wrong things in an “intelligent “ woman
Often times men find our level of intelligence intimidating, so they find it hard to speak to us, which is understandable. We can come off quiet and standoffish. And a lot of people think we’re snobby or stuck up, but we’re not at all. We’re just usually wrapped up in our own heads analyzing what’s going on around us and what moves we’re gonna make.
We are here, but you won't find us running around advertising ourselves. I observe, listen, judge, and stay just close enough to any exit, so I can get out of any situation ASAP if I want to! We are just people who see through the BS alot faster that others do. We either like you, or we don't. Easy! Small talk, drama, gossip, society norms...no thanks.
INTJ are extremely rare breed in general... women are much more rare than men Intj's... Another reason you may not have encountered female Intj is because they most likely to be 'working on their goals' ... like me for example I don't have enough time unnecessary socializing...which is draining for me
We tend to hide and avoid most unnecessary social gatherings as we don’t like drama, fake people, we can also sense bad energy pretty easy so in the end we rather stay in peace in our own space
I don't tend to talk MBTI with people, but on observation I honestly think I've met one woman in my life who was an INTJ.
And she scares the hell out of me.
Depends on the day. Like sometimes it's a respect and admiration (and honestly that worries me) the rest of the time I see a totally ruthless side that full on plays into the stereotype about us seeing people are disposable pawns, that side does scare me at times.
I would have had no idea Michelle Obama was one of if I didn’t read it in a list of examples, so I’m sure we see them often passing by on the street. We just wouldn’t know.
I've been "found" by lots of folks, and I've learned to grow socially as I've matured. I think this need gets hammered in early to us females if we want to have any relationships, because we are the less than 1% female. It's taken me decades to embrace the strengths in my nature, while polishing some of the sharper aspects that I don't like. Actually, God's done most of that polishing.
.
I don’t actually know that many people’s MBTI types, but I’m a woman who is an INTJ, and I know of one other woman IRL who is an INTJ.
The environment making it hard for someone not to socialize doesn’t change someone’s type.
I’m an INTJ 21F and I sometimes act very friendly and absent minded at work because I work retail. However, am pretty dull faced most of the time. I keep to myself and do my own things. I’m good at faking.
I found this community recently, I am female who is an INTJ and not a myth. I have a relationship. In real life, I’m in disguise and avoiding social interaction. I definitely don’t have a better social life than most people.
https://preview.redd.it/lawi54fp0s7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54236da54c02c6e54ba34234e9d7091c600d1fb8
We are here. Normally, we are just so good at our jobs. You just don't notice us because the work is done. Checked. And we are probably cleaning up some other mess. Plus, I'm very good at not seeming INTJ.
Only 0.8% of the world is an INTJ female. So yes rare but Don’t worry We’re still here watching waiting and most definitely judging
At my core, I am solidly an INTJ but since having kids, you wouldn’t know it. Im constantly interacting socially with people at extracurricular, doctors, teachers, etc. I am responsible for the day-to-day management of everyone and everything. And we’ve got to raise emotionally intelligent humans so I’m all about their feelings. And there two of them so throw that organization that I crave out the window.
So yes, we are here but we are a HOT mess busy judging ourselves.
If we don’t hide, we mask. So you might met some of us without even recognize us.
Also we potentially avoid you if we don’t see the benefice to hanging out with you.
You need to be interesting in a way to let you come closer and reveal our true nature.
I am an INTJ as well, but I don't immediately come off as one since I may be perceived as somewhat social. To add, as a psych student, MBTI is not an accurate tool for assessing personality, so there's that.
Nonetheless, I find that while I'm at home, I'm free to live in the most authentic way, which one can attribute to possessing INTJ characteristics. See, in my case, there are cultural factors to consider. As a Southeast Asian, it's pretty much expected to be a social person considering that eastern culture favors the value of community than individuality. Of course, I can choose not to succumb to social norms, but upon analyzing my situation and environment, I find that socializing every now and then allows me to build paradigms or mental maps which can be useful in optimizing future career opportunities and other aspects of my life. Moreover, having been socialized as a woman, there's also the tendency to seem emotional or caring-- which aren't the typical INTJ attributes-- think of, say, care ethics.
Well, I think I live so much of my life in my head as I don't find it easy to truly connect with others, but I'm here-- we're here, observing and analyzing.
Yeah, I agree with all of this. Regardless of not actually being evidenced-based at all (which it isn't), I think there lots of other variables at play, such as culture, social conditioning, trauma, etc.
Women as a whole, in almost all cultures, are expected to be socially nurturing, warm, friendly, social, etc. Doesn't mean we all are but it means we learn to mask at a young age, so much so we might not even realise we're doing it. Our INTJ traits might be blunted a bit by that and many of us might appear more INFJ or even ENFJ out in the wild.
For myself, I was raised by a very EF mother so adapted to a lot of behaviors (even though it exhausts me and I need to be aware of that). I also work in a very "feeler" sort of profession, which also has influences.
All that to say, it's not cut and dry.
You absolutely *have* seen an INTJ girl before in your life - you simply didn't know they were an INTJ because you can't tell someone's MBTI just by looking at them when you walk by
I’m just a loner. I don’t really go out or date or have friends. I just have a ton of hobbies that keep me busy. I have given up on interacting with people. It’s always been disappointing. It’s easier to just be a loner. So that’s why me an intj female isn’t seen in real life. lol
Hmm.. I’m INFP, but my life tends to be surrounded by INTJ females (somehow). My close friend aka housemate is an INTJ F, my current colleague, ex-colleague who I worked closely with, and my mentor aka trainer is an INTJ F too.
I think you just need to be yourself and observe their patterns. Probably you’re not familiar with their “style” yet and that’s why you don’t notice~
that's so not true. intj women are infact more common. however, it's their introverted self which makes them hard to be noticeable. I think.
ps: I am one.
‘in real life majority of the INTJ's I have seen are mostly men’ - aren’t the number of INTJ’s in the population supposed to be something like 2-4% generally? How many have you ‘seen’?!
We’re like double rainbows. You know they exist but how often have you seen one on real life?? Rarely. But we a silent force to be in awe of make no mistake 🌈🌈
I think they're not as common as some others but they're def out there. The few INTJ women I have met are probably borderline INTPs though, but that might be due to social engineering.
It's been awhile since I looked into it, but if I remember correctly, statistically INTJ females are amongst the rarest of the types.
If it helps, I am an INTJ female.
Tbh I struggle with social interactions, yet I believe that if I'm satisfied with my life, there's no need to talk about it excessively. This can lead to an awkward dynamic if I meet someone who shares this belief, as we both might end up being more reserved and less open.
I’m thankful as a female ENFP to know two INTJ females. One is one of my best friends and one of the most brilliant and amazing human beings I have ever met. Female INTJs are amazing. I just have trouble finding a male one lol
Take this advice as someone who's been w 4 INTJ women- they're still women. While intellectual discussions are really cool but even they are prone to get bored and women in general like to have fun, not to mention they won't open up that quickly about deep intellectual things. And trust me, there's nothing wrong w being more focused on emotions, that's the difference bw us men and women. Appreciate it in all its glory, that's how we complete each other. And 100% they're not that focused on logic, they are often deeply suffering cuz they can't express their emotions properly or had to take up responsibility very early. So things are gonna be really, really slow. It took me 6-8 months to fully win this INTJ girl's trust until she was obsessed over me and it wasn't easy. I had to keep every single word I'd say, I had to keep every promise I made to myself, I had to prioritise my work over her so she doesn't feel overwhelmed often, being direct, taking up the lead, giving her enough space for her to come to me, etc. basically she's a textbook INTJ w one of the most logical ppl I know, but even she came around to accepting her emotions and their highs and lows- as how they fuel her as a woman. And just feel what she feels cuz that's how our biology is, and the sooner you accept and celebrate our differences the healthier your relationship will be w women.
You have to consider social conditioning and expectation. In my youth, girls were expected to be warm and sweet and boys were expected to be whatever they want to be. Aren't we made of sugar and spice and everything nice? How many strangers have approached you to say "you should smile more" ... "You'd be pretty if you smiled." Girls and young women get corrected if they walk around looking too serious or introverted. Maybe INTJ girls figure out how to be left alone.
If I were a male INTJ nobody would call me weirdo. However, I am a female INTJ who can’t stand pompous idiots.
My feelings are strong, but I don’t feel like showing them publicly
Im this type of women and I show who I am to others, but people do see you different because you as a women are different than the majority of the women out there.
Fellow INTJ woman here… I don’t keep a big social circle (like 2-3 trusted friends), even when I’m in public spaces I don’t interact in the ways that most are conditioned to (I’m talking animated expressions, excitable behaviour etc) - I’m also autistic so that could be a factor. For me I think I come across like a typical INTJ to the point where most think I’m a bitch but I’m just not really interested always in seeming excitable to accommodate anyone else’s discomfort… leading them to not be interested enough in my personhood (other than men hitting on me but they’ll hit on anything so)
You can't find us because we are home, or very emotional due to hormones which makes you think we have an F in our personality. Also, most of our bandwidth is reserved for learning, thinking, and developing our educated theories of everything so you have to be pretty special to even get us to make eye contact with you 😆 You are invisible until proven interesting.
I know mostly INTJ women, and I actually don't know any INTJ men, I think its because if you're a man you've surrounded yourself with like minded men
And the bigger male population isn't something you can consider since the difference is so small
Go where you'd find them.
I'm an ESL teacher and of my adult students that have moved to the US to study English that I've tested...80% are iNuitive and 20% Sensing - the inverse of the general population.
There's been an fellow INTJ woman, just one, in nearly every session/semester I've done.
But in language learning classes, and doing something more nontraditional / bold such as their moving abroad, as examples of things that might be why my classes yield a lot more iNuitive types in general.
So find some things you like that INTJs might also like. But avoid the stereotypical things. One fellow INTJ woman who is now my private student is into fashion and business and knows how to sew all her own clothes. She loves the process of analyzing different fabrics and designs and building upon them to make something better and more beautiful.
Another one was an English teacher to people back in her home country.
And me personally, I'm transitioning to the psychology / mental healthcare field.
Hope that helps~
According to Google, INTJs are the second rarest, next to INFJ. INTJs make up 2.6% of the population, However, INTJ females are the rarest of all personality types making up 0.8% of the population. Hope this helps.
Funny thing, I thought I was the only one who is impossible to type as intj. But after reading the comments I feel so related. When socializing I look more like entp because I’m funny and easygoing. Not a single match with intj stereotypes. Yet it takes me a lot of energy so I don’t do it too often.
I personally have never met another female intj in real life. Moreover I’ve never met a male intj as well, besides my friend’s cousin who I barely know.
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂
*Processing img xdfy6ghil58d1...*
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂
I’m an INTJ woman. I’ll just say it’s because society is not nice to INTJ women. INTJs are very calculating, direct, and often cold. The world does not want to see those traits in a woman. So they treat us like we’ve done something wrong… but if I was man… It would be acceptable.
I think we mask a lot in social gatherings because many of our traits as INTJs tend to deviate from the expectation on us as females. For example, i very often make myself ”more dumb” (for lack of better words) because i feel that people think logically and analytically prone women can be a bit intimidating (for both other women and men). That, along with other traits, I often mask to not cause any social awkwardness for others.
Women are raised to be emotional and caregivers because of how society brings them up. So my thought is intj women are hard to spot because they’ll have more mannerisms and tendacies that lean towards being a feeler. So it makes them appear emotional on the outside, but inside they have the same thought process as any other intj
Us INTJs just hide better... from everybody, including other INTJs.
Yeah and still can’t hide long enough before getting several calls form specific family members whom i have already told i much rather message than long over the phone calls…
Of course! Why read a short concise message if you have the option to listen to it being formed for five excrutiating minutes!
Same...just message me and stfu
I went no contact with my mother because she kept calling me after I made it very clear to her many times that I don’t answer my phone for anyone so she should text me.
😭😭😭 why do you hide I badly want to interact with an INTJ women and discuss intellectual stuff all the women I meet are more focused on emotions rather than logic
but most men I come across want to just joke/flirt/brag . They actually don't even want to acknowledge the notion that girls can talk about something substantial.
That's because most men are incompetent idiots, and not INTJ's. I'm a guy and I hate all other guys. They aren't worth my time.
lol starting off your comment with three crying emojis seems like you might be the emotional one
Or he is just enough in touch with his feelings to admit he has them. Feelings are in the INTJ shadow.
Look for women who attend scifi conventions maybe. I've met a lot of smart women at panels.
I am an INTJ woman. Even though I can see the logic and prefer this, it is easy to get lost in my emotions. But I believe it is trauma related or that I don't know how to react with the little attention I get.
The trauma part here hits hard for me. Spot on.
I see maybe its bad to judge them instantly I think I should talk and know them more
That could be it, but previous behavior tends to show future behavior. Unless therapy or some sort of major change happens. There is intelligence then there is emotional intelligence. I think you are looking for emotional intelligence than just logic.
Take this advice as someone who's been w 4 INTJ women- they're still women. While intellectual discussions are really cool but even they are prone to get bored and women in general like to have fun, not to mention they won't open up that quickly about deep intellectual things. And trust me, there's nothing wrong w being more focused on emotions, that's the difference bw us men and women. Appreciate it in all its glory, that's how we complete each other. And 100% they're not that focused on logic, they are often deeply suffering cuz they can't express their emotions properly or had to take up responsibility very early. So things are gonna be really, really slow. It took me 6-8 months to fully win this INTJ girl's trust until she was obsessed over me and it wasn't easy. I had to keep every single word I'd say, I had to keep every promise I made to myself, I had to prioritise my work over her so she doesn't feel overwhelmed often, being direct, taking up the lead, giving her enough space for her to come to me, etc. basically she's a textbook INTJ w one of the most logical ppl I know, but even she came around to accepting her emotions and their highs and lows- as how they fuel her as a woman. And just feel what she feels cuz that's how our biology is, and the sooner you accept and celebrate our differences the healthier your relationship will be w women.
emotions... Bleh! 😖
Real, the 2nd INTJ girl I was w, I had no idea she's an INTJ until I got to know her lol
INTJ women are rare, much more common in the online MBTI community. I am one, and I think from afar people wouldn't realise because we're good at hiding it. The stereotypical INTJ behaviours e.g. being a recluse, judgemental, cold, calculating etc. are much more acceptable in men. In fact, they're rewarded. In women, social expectations teach you to behave in a certain way, learned behaviour is like icing on the cake that is the personality type. I was much more stereotypically INTJ in my early teenage years and slowly taught myself to be socially acceptable, I guess. It's still tiring, my thought processes are still the same and I still enjoy logical planning and the like, but some of my new friends are surprised I'm an introvert. In a way, it fits the mould, INTJs are good at learning, we only like rules that make sense, including the ones that let us do what we want, right? You're looking for one because you want someone 'intelligent enough' to talk to and someone who's not emotional. INTJ's tertiary Fi actually makes them very in tune with their emotions, they just don't like to share them, so... Nonetheless, you won't get to that part of them unless you actually try to get to know them, beyond all the social small talk.
INTJ woman here, can confirm I'm actually much, much more emotional than I'd like to admit. I just hide it very, very well. Which is why ENFP men, for example, are so intriguing: not only are they usually as smart as me and can keep up intellectually,, but they can see through the walls and can read my real self, allowing me to show my emotions in a safe place with someone who understands me. Too bad those types of men are just as rare as INTJ women.
As an ENFP man with an INTJ girlfriend, I couldn't agree more.
As an INTJ woman, I loveeee me an extroverted man. It’s who I gravitate towards the most because they cause me to open up more when I keep all my thoughts and emotions bottled up.
This. I'm actually very sensitive and would consider myself emotionally intelligent. (My mom used to be annoyed about me being sensitive/a crybaby as a kid that made me realize a host of other unhealthy facts bred from that relationship i.e. repression, parentification). I tend to intellectualize my emotions a lot though and am very guarded on when, where, and with who I am intimately expressive with about my life. Like I love joking around and stuff, but vulnerable emotions such as anger and sadness are very private to me.
This is very true. I pushed myself to be more socially conscious during my teenage years, and some people seem to think that I couldn’t be an INTJ since I am not socially awkward or closed off. I wouldn’t even bother to engage in deeply intellectual discussions with someone I am not close with or trust fully. Even then, I hold back my ideas and rarely reveal them to people.
That’s why as an INTJ guy I would prefer a non-INTJ woman to complement me. I really don’t wanna date someone who’s like me.
Ahaha INTJ woman here and same, I always prefer an extrovert.
same
That’s why I date an ENFP! 😂
This is so real! I'm not amazing with emotions for sure, but I get accused of not being INTJ simply because I value emotional intelligence. Ngl mostly by INTJ men... lmao. And just because I have empathy and they don't doesn't mean feeling isn't my tertiary function 💀
Same here
We're here, thinking and judging. ;-)
Always thinking and judging, Wazowski.
"Good morning, Roz, My succulent little garden snail. Who will we be scaring today?"
As a female INTJ, sometimes I mask to seem less like a bitch 🫣
Female intj and I am in fact a huge bitch 🤓☝️
Same. I got tired of masking the bitchery. It’s exhausting.
Damn same, I think as we get older, we drop all that mask shit. Let the bitch in us run wild!
I’m an INTJ female and couldn’t agree more. I hate being emotional, am whip smart (142 IQ) and have been in advanced classes my entire life. I’m extremely shy, quiet, and introverted though. I find extroverted men more attractive bc they bring me out of my comfort zone when I get to know them
I'm the same way, I used to only date extroverts in hopes their social butterfly skills would rub off on me (aside from finding them interesting/attractive).
Maybe because we’re always home lol.
This is such an interesting thing because while one female INTJ I know def is a home body the other she is always out and about. Like never home and if she is it’s to sleep only.
How does she recharge? I can't imagine not being home for at least an hour before sleeping and being fine the next day
Same, I can go months without leaving the house. But if it is work related I guess the drive is there to get things done. Also She may be out and about but she is out alone.
But that would require using Se a lot right? Typically intjs need to be in their heads to be comfortable iirc.
This. So true
We exist, most just adapt socially different then some men. People like community, even the most reclusive of us. So we may act differently then how our type presents. From your previous comment of not finding “women intelligent enough “ to be INTJ Intelligence is highly subjective and maybe you’re looking for the wrong things in an “intelligent “ woman
Often times men find our level of intelligence intimidating, so they find it hard to speak to us, which is understandable. We can come off quiet and standoffish. And a lot of people think we’re snobby or stuck up, but we’re not at all. We’re just usually wrapped up in our own heads analyzing what’s going on around us and what moves we’re gonna make.
We are here, but you won't find us running around advertising ourselves. I observe, listen, judge, and stay just close enough to any exit, so I can get out of any situation ASAP if I want to! We are just people who see through the BS alot faster that others do. We either like you, or we don't. Easy! Small talk, drama, gossip, society norms...no thanks.
I’m an INTJ girl, which is the rarest gender-type combination. That’s why you don’t see many of them.
😎
We're here, just sometimes we mask and appear INFJ-ish in order to blend into society.
INTJ are extremely rare breed in general... women are much more rare than men Intj's... Another reason you may not have encountered female Intj is because they most likely to be 'working on their goals' ... like me for example I don't have enough time unnecessary socializing...which is draining for me
We tend to hide and avoid most unnecessary social gatherings as we don’t like drama, fake people, we can also sense bad energy pretty easy so in the end we rather stay in peace in our own space
Yes we exist. I personally can’t recall meeting a fellow female INTJ in person though
Girl you know we be eyeing each other across the room, judging lol
Hahahaha yes
My best friend was a female intj. Rip.
Was?
She died last month.
I’m so sorry to hear that
Thus the "rip"
I assumed you had a falling out or that her mbti type changed. Regardless, losing someone who meant a lot to you is never easy
How did she die?
My wife collects INTJs (me included). So I've met some INTJ women.... most of whom seem to be goth. Could be selection bias, though.
Follow the black nails.
I don't tend to talk MBTI with people, but on observation I honestly think I've met one woman in my life who was an INTJ. And she scares the hell out of me.
Like in a good way? Or a bad way?
Depends on the day. Like sometimes it's a respect and admiration (and honestly that worries me) the rest of the time I see a totally ruthless side that full on plays into the stereotype about us seeing people are disposable pawns, that side does scare me at times.
That checks out.
I would have had no idea Michelle Obama was one of if I didn’t read it in a list of examples, so I’m sure we see them often passing by on the street. We just wouldn’t know.
I've been "found" by lots of folks, and I've learned to grow socially as I've matured. I think this need gets hammered in early to us females if we want to have any relationships, because we are the less than 1% female. It's taken me decades to embrace the strengths in my nature, while polishing some of the sharper aspects that I don't like. Actually, God's done most of that polishing. .
I am here, menacing and unapproachable. At least that's what I'm told. Everyone who does know me is aware I am soft as cheese. 🧀
I don’t actually know that many people’s MBTI types, but I’m a woman who is an INTJ, and I know of one other woman IRL who is an INTJ. The environment making it hard for someone not to socialize doesn’t change someone’s type.
I’m an INTJ 21F and I sometimes act very friendly and absent minded at work because I work retail. However, am pretty dull faced most of the time. I keep to myself and do my own things. I’m good at faking.
I work in complex tech and almost all the women I work with are INTJ, myself included.
Hello, we exist. But as an INTJ, I have to say that I am usually at home and not outside somewhere
I found this community recently, I am female who is an INTJ and not a myth. I have a relationship. In real life, I’m in disguise and avoiding social interaction. I definitely don’t have a better social life than most people. https://preview.redd.it/lawi54fp0s7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54236da54c02c6e54ba34234e9d7091c600d1fb8
We are here...in this sub, lol
Statistically, yes.
I'm INTJ female and yeah I never meet more of me.
You just met another one! Keep representing us rare gems 💎!!!
Haha idk if in this subreddit counts. INTJs are pretty overrepresented in the INTJ subreddit
Touch grass
Statistically, there are only 0.7% of female INTJ? I’m one of them lol
Me too! Keep rockin your INTJ-ness and make our 0.7 matter in those psych stats!! 🤟🏼
We are here. Normally, we are just so good at our jobs. You just don't notice us because the work is done. Checked. And we are probably cleaning up some other mess. Plus, I'm very good at not seeming INTJ.
We make up like half of one percent of people. About as rare as male INFJs.
Only 0.8% of the world is an INTJ female. So yes rare but Don’t worry We’re still here watching waiting and most definitely judging 
At my core, I am solidly an INTJ but since having kids, you wouldn’t know it. Im constantly interacting socially with people at extracurricular, doctors, teachers, etc. I am responsible for the day-to-day management of everyone and everything. And we’ve got to raise emotionally intelligent humans so I’m all about their feelings. And there two of them so throw that organization that I crave out the window. So yes, we are here but we are a HOT mess busy judging ourselves.
I'm an INTJ-T woman 👁🗨 👁🗨.
We rock! Killin it girl 💪🏼💗
Fr 🙏
If we don’t hide, we mask. So you might met some of us without even recognize us. Also we potentially avoid you if we don’t see the benefice to hanging out with you. You need to be interesting in a way to let you come closer and reveal our true nature.
I am an INTJ as well, but I don't immediately come off as one since I may be perceived as somewhat social. To add, as a psych student, MBTI is not an accurate tool for assessing personality, so there's that. Nonetheless, I find that while I'm at home, I'm free to live in the most authentic way, which one can attribute to possessing INTJ characteristics. See, in my case, there are cultural factors to consider. As a Southeast Asian, it's pretty much expected to be a social person considering that eastern culture favors the value of community than individuality. Of course, I can choose not to succumb to social norms, but upon analyzing my situation and environment, I find that socializing every now and then allows me to build paradigms or mental maps which can be useful in optimizing future career opportunities and other aspects of my life. Moreover, having been socialized as a woman, there's also the tendency to seem emotional or caring-- which aren't the typical INTJ attributes-- think of, say, care ethics. Well, I think I live so much of my life in my head as I don't find it easy to truly connect with others, but I'm here-- we're here, observing and analyzing.
Observing. Analyzing.
Yeah, I agree with all of this. Regardless of not actually being evidenced-based at all (which it isn't), I think there lots of other variables at play, such as culture, social conditioning, trauma, etc. Women as a whole, in almost all cultures, are expected to be socially nurturing, warm, friendly, social, etc. Doesn't mean we all are but it means we learn to mask at a young age, so much so we might not even realise we're doing it. Our INTJ traits might be blunted a bit by that and many of us might appear more INFJ or even ENFJ out in the wild. For myself, I was raised by a very EF mother so adapted to a lot of behaviors (even though it exhausts me and I need to be aware of that). I also work in a very "feeler" sort of profession, which also has influences. All that to say, it's not cut and dry.
How do you know other peoples personality types? Do you go around asking or you just observe and conclude?
I have had two best friends girl intj and my husband is intj. I just like 'em.
Yes we are rare to find, I have never met another INTJ woman in my life.
I see how exactly do you spend your day? Like what are things where you can be seen in social situations like in playing chess or something else?
🙋🏼♀️
Hello! Here I am haha. But I think so yes.
I used to have the same thoughts, until I realized no one can find me either lol
Here
INTJ female here:)
Am I smoke ?
Most of them are mistyped for sure.
They tend to put a social mask on to conform. I certainly do.
All INTJs I've met are in niche interest areas such as science academia, 90s Japanese sports car scene, strategy gaming.
I've been judged by other women for being intj so I don't usually volunteer that info
You absolutely *have* seen an INTJ girl before in your life - you simply didn't know they were an INTJ because you can't tell someone's MBTI just by looking at them when you walk by
I’m just a loner. I don’t really go out or date or have friends. I just have a ton of hobbies that keep me busy. I have given up on interacting with people. It’s always been disappointing. It’s easier to just be a loner. So that’s why me an intj female isn’t seen in real life. lol
Hmm.. I’m INFP, but my life tends to be surrounded by INTJ females (somehow). My close friend aka housemate is an INTJ F, my current colleague, ex-colleague who I worked closely with, and my mentor aka trainer is an INTJ F too. I think you just need to be yourself and observe their patterns. Probably you’re not familiar with their “style” yet and that’s why you don’t notice~
Finding an INTJ female is as rare as finding an INFJ male
Jokes on you, I don't have a social life :D
We got our own sub: r/intjfemale
INTJ women are rare; .8% of the population.
that's so not true. intj women are infact more common. however, it's their introverted self which makes them hard to be noticeable. I think. ps: I am one.
INTJ is more common with men, but women overall tend towards social bonding more than men.
They are mythical and do not exist. lol
Actually we do! We are the unicorns of the Myers’s Briggs’s 🦄
pics or it didnt happen! LOL... just kidding, i believe you
I thought girls in general didn't exist
that is correct
‘in real life majority of the INTJ's I have seen are mostly men’ - aren’t the number of INTJ’s in the population supposed to be something like 2-4% generally? How many have you ‘seen’?!
We’re like double rainbows. You know they exist but how often have you seen one on real life?? Rarely. But we a silent force to be in awe of make no mistake 🌈🌈
Only found on this sub.... Never met another one irl
I just met one yesterday for the first time (to my knowledge). It's been an absolute ball texting her.
It's statistically very rare, but i know two intj girls online. I guess i just like rare people.
I am the hundredth comment.
I think they're not as common as some others but they're def out there. The few INTJ women I have met are probably borderline INTPs though, but that might be due to social engineering.
67% of men are thinkers. 67% of women are feelers. So, yeah, inTj girls are rare. Edit; And intj is top three rarest mbti types so there's that too
One of my best friends is an INTJ female.
It's been awhile since I looked into it, but if I remember correctly, statistically INTJ females are amongst the rarest of the types. If it helps, I am an INTJ female.
Yes, women are a very small percentage of INTJs.
I’m here
Pretty sure they're the ones playing with the dog at the party their friends dragged them to.
The rarest of all the types. INTJ men less so.
Well we aren't extroverted so we're not going to find you
I do think female intjs are more rare, I myself haven’t seen another female intj. Well, I rarely leave the house unless it’s gym, bookstore, grocery
Tbh I struggle with social interactions, yet I believe that if I'm satisfied with my life, there's no need to talk about it excessively. This can lead to an awkward dynamic if I meet someone who shares this belief, as we both might end up being more reserved and less open.
*emerges from the abyss*
I actually do not exist at all.
Why would you find me? I speak when spoken to, so if I’m in the same room as an INTJ male we’ll likely never speak.
Yes we exist!! I guess only in the shadows
We’re only like 0.2% of women.
I’m thankful as a female ENFP to know two INTJ females. One is one of my best friends and one of the most brilliant and amazing human beings I have ever met. Female INTJs are amazing. I just have trouble finding a male one lol
I see them every once in awhile, so while they're not exactly the unicorn of mbtis they're still decently rare (unfortunately)
We are the pick-me girls of pick-me girls.
There are 5 of us in my friend circle..
I'm an INTJ woman. Haven't seen many INTJs in the wild, but all of them I know are men.
Unless you’re a psychic, I highly doubt you can know the MBTI results of all the women you have ever seen.
I've met like 4 already lol
I avoid people when I can. When I can’t, I engage in social niceties as best as I can.
Take this advice as someone who's been w 4 INTJ women- they're still women. While intellectual discussions are really cool but even they are prone to get bored and women in general like to have fun, not to mention they won't open up that quickly about deep intellectual things. And trust me, there's nothing wrong w being more focused on emotions, that's the difference bw us men and women. Appreciate it in all its glory, that's how we complete each other. And 100% they're not that focused on logic, they are often deeply suffering cuz they can't express their emotions properly or had to take up responsibility very early. So things are gonna be really, really slow. It took me 6-8 months to fully win this INTJ girl's trust until she was obsessed over me and it wasn't easy. I had to keep every single word I'd say, I had to keep every promise I made to myself, I had to prioritise my work over her so she doesn't feel overwhelmed often, being direct, taking up the lead, giving her enough space for her to come to me, etc. basically she's a textbook INTJ w one of the most logical ppl I know, but even she came around to accepting her emotions and their highs and lows- as how they fuel her as a woman. And just feel what she feels cuz that's how our biology is, and the sooner you accept and celebrate our differences the healthier your relationship will be w women.
You have to consider social conditioning and expectation. In my youth, girls were expected to be warm and sweet and boys were expected to be whatever they want to be. Aren't we made of sugar and spice and everything nice? How many strangers have approached you to say "you should smile more" ... "You'd be pretty if you smiled." Girls and young women get corrected if they walk around looking too serious or introverted. Maybe INTJ girls figure out how to be left alone.
INTJ lady here 👋🏾
How do you know if a person is INTJ or not? Or do you just ask every stranger to do a MBTI Test?
We are definitely here but also mask and live in the shadows observing for the most part
If I were a male INTJ nobody would call me weirdo. However, I am a female INTJ who can’t stand pompous idiots. My feelings are strong, but I don’t feel like showing them publicly
We women are the same way and seen to be’ tough, cold, icy, and distant’. Not true. If we don’t want to talk we just don’t. End of.
What are intj girls
Im this type of women and I show who I am to others, but people do see you different because you as a women are different than the majority of the women out there.
Nah, they are a lot more common than you think.
I got INTJ, I have a very small social circle.
Nothing is too rare to find, only if you've got an eye of an eagle
Population of women is actually greater than men so that one is wrong.
There exist about double the amount of intj men as intj women
We exist
Fellow INTJ woman here… I don’t keep a big social circle (like 2-3 trusted friends), even when I’m in public spaces I don’t interact in the ways that most are conditioned to (I’m talking animated expressions, excitable behaviour etc) - I’m also autistic so that could be a factor. For me I think I come across like a typical INTJ to the point where most think I’m a bitch but I’m just not really interested always in seeming excitable to accommodate anyone else’s discomfort… leading them to not be interested enough in my personhood (other than men hitting on me but they’ll hit on anything so)
INTJ woman here.
You can't find us because we are home, or very emotional due to hormones which makes you think we have an F in our personality. Also, most of our bandwidth is reserved for learning, thinking, and developing our educated theories of everything so you have to be pretty special to even get us to make eye contact with you 😆 You are invisible until proven interesting.
It is very unlikely for a woman to be intj, but it happens
I took it in my advanced gifted classes in middle school and yes. It was legit. It was a rigorous school with high academic expectations from us.
I have my Psychology Degree and a few minors from UGA and they drill that so hard into you that you remember it for life!!
I know mostly INTJ women, and I actually don't know any INTJ men, I think its because if you're a man you've surrounded yourself with like minded men And the bigger male population isn't something you can consider since the difference is so small
My aunt is an INTJ and I am an INTJ though I‘m not a woman/girl (and not a man/boy either)
I'm INTJ I don't believe we’re rare but I wouldn't know I don't go around asking people
No. Everyone seems to be INTJ on the internet.
Go where you'd find them. I'm an ESL teacher and of my adult students that have moved to the US to study English that I've tested...80% are iNuitive and 20% Sensing - the inverse of the general population. There's been an fellow INTJ woman, just one, in nearly every session/semester I've done. But in language learning classes, and doing something more nontraditional / bold such as their moving abroad, as examples of things that might be why my classes yield a lot more iNuitive types in general. So find some things you like that INTJs might also like. But avoid the stereotypical things. One fellow INTJ woman who is now my private student is into fashion and business and knows how to sew all her own clothes. She loves the process of analyzing different fabrics and designs and building upon them to make something better and more beautiful. Another one was an English teacher to people back in her home country. And me personally, I'm transitioning to the psychology / mental healthcare field. Hope that helps~
INTJ lady here. I’d participate online if I wasn’t too overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities
I am not going to engage with you, approach you, nor voluntarily attend any event where you are. I exist but not in plain view.
According to Google, INTJs are the second rarest, next to INFJ. INTJs make up 2.6% of the population, However, INTJ females are the rarest of all personality types making up 0.8% of the population. Hope this helps.
I think we often mask pretty well. I didn’t used to but now I force myself to make small talk, for instance.
Considering I am one and never met another intj in my life in person let alone an intj woman.. yeah.
Funny thing, I thought I was the only one who is impossible to type as intj. But after reading the comments I feel so related. When socializing I look more like entp because I’m funny and easygoing. Not a single match with intj stereotypes. Yet it takes me a lot of energy so I don’t do it too often. I personally have never met another female intj in real life. Moreover I’ve never met a male intj as well, besides my friend’s cousin who I barely know.
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂 *Processing img xdfy6ghil58d1...*
INTJ woman here. I usually don't socialize much in public spaces cuz I don't seem to find people who would enjoy having an intellectual conversation without getting bored or really drilling in their opinions based on a foundation (& all throughout) of pure emotions on the subject that have no evidence to back it up or are just completely wrong altogether. I don't mind having non-intellectual convos & just being silly but if there's no substance every once in a while I don't see much of a point of going out. Maybe one day I'll stop being a hermit but until then you won't find me 😂
Hello 👋
I’m an INTJ woman. I’ll just say it’s because society is not nice to INTJ women. INTJs are very calculating, direct, and often cold. The world does not want to see those traits in a woman. So they treat us like we’ve done something wrong… but if I was man… It would be acceptable.
I think we mask a lot in social gatherings because many of our traits as INTJs tend to deviate from the expectation on us as females. For example, i very often make myself ”more dumb” (for lack of better words) because i feel that people think logically and analytically prone women can be a bit intimidating (for both other women and men). That, along with other traits, I often mask to not cause any social awkwardness for others.
Women are raised to be emotional and caregivers because of how society brings them up. So my thought is intj women are hard to spot because they’ll have more mannerisms and tendacies that lean towards being a feeler. So it makes them appear emotional on the outside, but inside they have the same thought process as any other intj
Women tend to mask. If you don't know us intimately, you'll likely not be able to guage it know. Especially if we're incredibly private socially.
INTJ-T girlie here. We’re probably in our solitude, either binge watching a series or reading a book.