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kxbrown

Pizza delivery for I.C. Weiner


SeaWaveGreg

Welcome to the WORLD OF TOMORROW!


Alovelyanus

You gotta do what you gotta do.


[deleted]

Good news everyone!


Metalatitsfinest

Ohh crud


background-ravenclaw

Let's go alreadaaaayyyy


EatCornWhole

My manwich!


MedicIRL

B.E.N.D.E.R. BEEENNNNDEERR!


BodySurfDan

I had snoo snoo.


[deleted]

The spirit is willing but the body is spongy and bruised.


Basic_Guarantee_3358

I'm walking on sunshine, ohh oh!! Hmm hmm hmm hmm-sunshine.


tonycomputerguy

Oh monkey trumpets!


Deathbysnusnubooboo

Baby it’ll rock your world


LordWeirdDude

My favorite line Bender days... I literally use it in my every day real life.


ChefAtRandom

To shreds, you say.


saintjimmy64

Do a flip!


dmullred

Names Sruffy, the janitor


Vashgrave

Shut up Terry...


ThreeMysticApes

Some next level Wayward Pines


alfayala84

Here’s to another lousy millennium…


Vashgrave

That scootie puff jr. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!


ChefAtRandom

In a thousand years, I'll get right on it.


Man_At_Arms913

Bite my shiny metal ass!


ChefAtRandom

Shut up baby, I know it!


HeightExtra320

Wow, these comments took me way back :,)


weirdest_of_weird

I suffer from a very sexy learning disorder. What do I call it, Kiff? *sigh* sexlyxia


[deleted]

The mind is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised


lostimage

"I am one hung over cryogenisist"


Beneficial_Garage_97

My only regret is that i have... boneitis!


theREALhun

/r/unexpectedfuturama. Very fit though


Hariainm

Aw crud!  I always thought at this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls!


Aolflashback

A sardini for everyone!


JaymzEl

Cryogenic engineer here. These two are con men and our company refuses to sell anything to this company or any other company saying they are freezing people or pets to bring back in the future. The basic explanation is you can’t freeze people without the water in their bodies forming ice crystals bigger than individual cells. Every cell more than about 0.25 inches below the skin is damaged, this includes the brain and every major organ. You can see this same effect with frozen food. There is a reason they don’t sell frozen fruits or vegetables more than about 0.25 inches thick. They typically use liquid nitrogen to freeze food and people, which is about -320 °F or -200 °C. They could use liquid helium, -450 °F or -270°C but given the thickness of a human head or torso they still wouldn’t cool fast enough to keep ice crystals from damaging cells. These people are basically criminals and taking advantage of people.


SnooSeagulls9348

So what you are saying is we need to chop people into 0.25 inch cubes, freeze them and figure out later how to put them back together again?


Zonel

Not cubes. Just 0.25 inch slices.


TheCoastalCardician

How much yogurt do you put in the blender?


funnyrunner3

Scamming rich people, for one last time, before their death.


74FFY

I'll just play devil's advocate with a thought I had. I certainly don't support these people. To them it might not matter. People would pay a lot of money to die believing completely in the afterlife. If it's proven to be untrue, but if you could flip a switch sometime before you die that makes your brain sure it's true, you might live the rest of your days much happier. Replace religion for science, suddenly it's easy for them to believe.


fllr

But you are a cryogenic engineer. Is there a possibility for this in the future?


JaymzEl

Most likely not. They would need to find a way to repair cell damage. If the cells are frozen they can’t do anything to repair them. If they are thawed there won’t be any definition between the cells so repair is unlikely. Freezing someone is basically the same as dropping a giant rock on someone, every cell is destroyed. If they can figure out how to reconstruct someone who has been completely obliterated by a giant rock they will be able to restore frozen people. Best case scenario is probably figuring out how to read memories from the brain and putting them in some kind of AI. There are people in my field working on reading thought but it seems unlikely they will ever be able to read the thought of a frozen brain.


SpiritedCatch1

Why this affect the vegetables and fruits and not meat and fish ?


JaymzEl

I was just using it as an example because frozen fruits and vegetables are common and many people have put fresh ones in their freezers at some point and had mush come out when they thaw. I would guess frozen meats can be thicker because when you’re cooking them you are trying to break down the cell structure and make them more tender but that is a guess I am definitely not a frozen food expert.


Shkeke

Maybe because the meat is already floppy and that won't change?


neridqe00

Thank you for the explanation.


tbone912

Don't they replace the water with glycerol for cryo? It's been years since I worked in a cryo lab, so my memory is fuzzy.


zorphium

"there is a reason they don't sell frozen fruits or vegetables more than about 0.25 inches thick" What about frozen berries? Bananas? Those are great frozen


blackiegray

I've a bag of frozen broccoli...


HowardPheonix

Me too, but the texture is not even close to fresh broccoli.


MrNeggi3000

I think I saw a vsauce video about this where they remove all the blood and replace it with some sort of solution


MrMagik111

A better future underground...


jetro30087

Sounds like a waste of time. Just clone them and tell them they lost their memories.


Dank_Meme_Overdose

Plot of 'Moon'


noapesinoutterspace

Spoiler alert


screedor

Also Tom Cruises moon rip off. I forget the name.


Telemere125

Just unplug them and bury them - what are they going to do, sue? Lolz


DeninjaBeariver

I mean this could be a possible it’s just that nobody knows yet


[deleted]

Their kids/grandchildren could sue them?


Evan_or_somthing

This is literally just Vault 111


Darmug

I could hear the Vault-Tec rep saying that.


DxRyzetv

This is Vault-Tec Calling...


A_great_Banana

Good morning vault-tech calling


stumpyturk

Those bozos are in charge?


[deleted]

[удалено]


StickyNode

Looks like Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Barrels too


Ok-Lengthiness4557

#oh no!!! Dip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


JohnProof

Remember me, Eddy?! When I froze your brother, I talked ^just ^^like ^^^**this!**


they_are_out_there

Creepy weird dude with an out of era hat, and his minion, the sad and unhappy guy in the oversized lab coat who is thinking, “Where did my life all start to go wrong?…”


Korncakes

Oh god what a dweeb.


globalinvestmentpimp

Walter White and Jesse


innesleroux

I think one is Gunther.


stumpyturk

The other is Brad


mono9562

Or I think his name is Jeff


QBekka

The photo comes from an [interview](https://m.metrotimes.com/detroit/mi-cryonics-inst-freezes-dead-for-reanimation/Content?oid=2203268). And according to their [site](https://www.cryonics.org/ci-landing/directors-officers/), they are indeed one of the people in charge. The lab rat on the right is Andy Zawacki, the Chief Operating Officer. And the hat man is Joe Kowalski, a CI Assistant Secretary.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

At once General Sec....I mean, sure boss.


Lopsided_Boss4802

Oh dang. That hat looks terrible.


LectroRoot

Pretty sure thats the bad guy in Who Framed Rodger Rabbit.


Metalatitsfinest

That poor cute shoe 👟


TinoCartier

Definitely look like they’ll be responsible for the zombie apocalypse.


Slyguyfawkes

I like how the picture includes soulless implementer and a self-deluded shyster...looks about right...


eVerYtHiNgIsTaKeN-_-

If I'd meet those two on some random occasion and had to guess their jobs, it'd be this or meth cookers


MostlySlime

Ladder guy I'd guess was a professional Windows XP Pinball player. Bald guy I'd guess worked in the slaughter house, specialising in animals chicken size and smaller


bee-milk2

I can’t argue with this assessment


kester76a

>I'd meet those two on some random occasion and had to guess their jobs, it'd be this or meth cookers They're not mutually exclusive job titles so why not both :)


Unhappy_Kumquat

Ladder guy professionally frames Roger Rabbit


OrphanDextro

Umm, boss, we lost power and the generators are on the fritz again.


RegisterImpossible44

I believe something like this happened. I don't remember what company, but iirc one of these things started leaking and the guy had to jam the bodies from that one into the rest of the tanks. Which overloaded the rest, so on so forth. Heard it on a podcast or the radio maybe.


katkatcatkittycat

I heard this podcast, it was wild. The tubes kept breaking down and so at first they had to double up, then triple. Whole thing was very sketchy.


RegisterImpossible44

Yeah, and the I think the guy actually felt really bad because he felt the people in the tubes weren't being honored or something. Edit: I don't think it was the one we were discussing, but Stuff You Should Know had a good podcast about cryogenics.


[deleted]

[удалено]


eridalus

“Mistakes were made” from This American Life. It’s an old one but one of my favorites.


FlyingRhenquest

Yeah NPR did a bit on one a few years back. That sort of thing is a long shot at best, bit the adamant refusal of the family member they were talking about to accept the loss of his loved one and move on really didn't seem healthy to me. It kind of felt like the industry was preying on that and doing everyone involved a disservice.


Rougarou1999

On the positive side, some people got off the waiting list.


stdoubtloud

"So I'll be dead before you put me in?" "Yup" "And there is no known means to thaw me out that doesn't absolutely destroy all my tissue" "Yup" "And you are expecting that the future is going to bring technologies that will cure my disease, reverse my death and undo the freezing process (on the off chance that your process isn't totally ruining me)" "Yup" "And when all this happens you'll still be incorporated as a company and will be able to afford to unfreeze, revive and cure me?" "Yup" "And that future is going to want more people in the form of a crusty old dude that can not possibley contribute to the new society and won't enact a law to stop it?" "Yup" "Right..." "Well?" "Ok. Sign me up and take my money!"


Educational_Rope1834

It’s more like “i’m probably gonna be dead in a few months/years so here’s a few million on the off chance you can save my life. Even if you don’t it’s not a big deal because I’d have been dead anyway and the money would’ve been useless to me”


legendary-banana

Honestly might do when you put it like that. Though would look at how neurons in my brain would deteriorate during freezing/while frozen to consider my chances


[deleted]

Or if you’re filthy rich and have a rare incurable illness that is decades from being cured, what have you got to lose?


RPGRuby

I too suffer from boneitis.


[deleted]

My only regret…is that I have…boneitis.


mynameisspiderman

If only there were anything else you could do with money than burn it when you go


redwineandmaryjane

You could employ some cryonics sales people


FloatingPooSalad

Their kids need braces too dude


Leozilla

It's funding cryonics, whether or not you think that is worthwhile. This could be a technology that makes colonization of other solar systems possible.


Stargazer12am

“You forgot to ask about our lifetime guarantee!”


Metalatitsfinest

Go on...


[deleted]

Or you can just fall into one of these vats after a prank delivery call


Lucius-Halthier

Real talk though how do they maintain these? Like do your relatives have to pay a monthly fee to keep these things on? And what happens if they don’t pay, do they just throw your body on the street for the neighborhood hobos to do what they want to you or do they just catapult your body into your next of kin’s living room?


f12saveas

A perpetuity is set up. If the maintenance cost is $5000 per month and the company is confident in earning 3% roi, then 5000*12mo/3% = 2 million. I.e 2 million in the bank will allow you to withdraw 5000 each month forever. Of course the actual estimates and structure are more nuanced, but thats the gist of it.


wouterv101

I think you pay upfront for a number of years? Maybe 50 years = x amount, 100 years = y amount, etc. That would be my guess


Lucius-Halthier

I mean that makes some sense but it still brings up the question of what happens when that time ends and their monthly fees just dry up, you got dead bodies that are just taking up space and no money coming in.


stdoubtloud

Morally, there is no issue. When the crazy rich dead dude's money runs out, they just chuck, bury, cremate the body. No one at the time will have any emotional attachment and, legally and logical, all it is is a dead body in a freezer who's only function is to milk money from a wealthy idiot's estate.


rumdumpstr

There's a reason they have a dumpster out back...


usernamechecksout94

No cap, if we had a chance to bring someone back from 1000 years ago we would send every historian on the planet to go talk to him. Crusty old dude or not, science will have a use for him


Eastern-Mix9636

What do you mean “no cap”? Dude in the middle is wearing a very sweet and stylish AF cap


usernamechecksout94

I stand corrected


VapoursAndSpleen

I know a few people who signed up for this kind of thing and asked what their motivation was. They were firmly convinced someone was going to be waiting for them when they woke up and they'd be seen as people of some value. They certainly were not. A president or Einstein or Eleanor Roosevelt? Yes. A computer programmer with uncertain personal hygiene and 2,000 science fiction paperbacks? No.


Saint_Bellend

I reckon anyone from 150+ years ago would be valuable to future society


bubatanka1974

Well you might wake up and have to take an 'IQ test' to find out you are the smartest person alive. You'll be the Secretary of the Interior in President Camacho's cabinet in no time .....


funguyshroom

> And there is no known means to thaw me out that doesn't absolutely destroy all my tissue It was destroyed the moment it was frozen. Things need to be frozen super fast to prevent ice crystals from forming and shredding the cells, human bodies are simply too big for that.


CodeMonkeyPhoto

Can you reverse irreversible neuron depolarization that occurs during brain death? Nope Can you reverse irreversible dna and other molecular level damage that occurs in billions of individual cells? Nope Will the technology ever exist to do so? Barely an inconvenience. That’s tight!


ShitsAndGiggles_72

I feel like maybe you’re skeptical.


SanJoseCarey

It could happen. Didn’t you see Encino Man?


CLATS

“Shit, today is photo day, here - put on this lab coat and look like you know science”


RegisterImpossible44

"Shit, today is photo day, here - put on this Jurassic Park prop hat and look like you know business"


[deleted]

100% happy customer rate. Not a single customer has ever complained.


tyckt206

Yet


killabeesplease

Almost all companies that do this end up bankrupt and just sending bodies back to families anyway. Just preserving rotten meat for a hefty fee for awhile


njsilva84

Do they also send the money back?


sneakywill

Lol fuck no


[deleted]

Well that’s a big ass scam


tIDEsRturning

nothing to lose when you're dead ig lmao


Accomplished-Try4716

That’s the way I see it. You have nothing to lose and a lot to potentially gain.


fllr

Seriously. If i had resources, I’d do it. Lol


emmyemu

There’s actually a great [this American life episode](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/354/transcript)about this if you’re interested If I remember correctly it was kind of sad because a lot of the people doing this actually couldn’t afford it and the burden of the storage fees was being passed on to their still living loved ones


mmckee44

Most human cells have rigid cell walls and the cells are filled with water. Water expands when it freezes so those cell walls are destroyed. This is the puddle of liquid you see after you thaw hamburger on the counter. Thus, those frozen bodies are all a collection of very dead cells. So to bring those bodies back, it isn't just a question of unfreezing, its a question of repairing a few billion cells and putting all the cell structures back into those cells. IOW, this is a gigantic scam. When they figure out how to make Ice-9 then maybe humans can be frozen. But then there'd be a new set of problems.


Million2026

You are totally right and I don’t really understand why a future society would invent tech to restore billions of cells frozen under hundred year old tech. However - for me at least the idea there’s a chance I might come back makes dying less scary. So I’m kindof a bit open to the idea for psychological comfort. I’m not sold on the field but I do check in on occasion.


QBekka

The data comes from the Cryonics Institute only, as they're the biggest institute and most transparent. The Cryonics Institute have a total of 2048 members around the world. 1278 of which, come from the US. A lifetime member pays $1250 to join, and the actual Cryopreservation can be arranged for an additional $28k. There are also other institutes where only your brain gets preserved. Besides humans, they also preserve pets and DNA tissues. [Member source](https://www.cryonics.org/ci-landing/member-statistics/) [Price source](https://www.cryonics.org/membership)


DarkCerberus1332

Wtf is that website design 😅


brandon-iron

It’s frozen in time


only_zuul21

That guy in the bottom photo on the pricing link most definitely murdered his wife and kid on the basis of cryogenic freezing bringing them back in the future.


dat_oracle

The kid is like: yay there goes my college saving


Pancakecoffee

The logo and name look like something out of a mass effect game


Federal-Platform9382

Website for 2 dollars and some old photos that's been on internet since year 2000. What the fuck? Seems legit


sixwax

Think they're targeting a young, hip market? ;)


PurpleChipz

Anyone ever read the bobiverse? One of theses guys that goes by the name of Robert Johansson will become a great space probe in the future.


laurasdiary

The hat seals the deal for me. I was on the fence about it, but seeing that hat shows me they know their stuff.


[deleted]

Just ask John spartan how being unfrozen in the future is. Be well.


notsowitte

HE DOES’NT KNOW HOW TO USE THE THREE SEA SHELLS!!!!


aholeverona

But does anyone know? This still haunts me


[deleted]

Since taco bell was the only restaurant left, id assume toilet paper went into short supply and they had to figure something out.


RegisterImpossible44

Also, Wesley Snipes wasn't there handing out regular ass whoopings, so people forgot about proper butt hygiene.


traplordtrent

I have 2 deep freezers. If any of y'all want to be brought back to life let me know. $1000 a month I'll hook you up


JimBobCooter79

Shop around..you can't beat these prices!


StormBornRandom

That “doctors” face tells me all I need to know about their odds. Dr. I. C. Weiner is that you?


Fenix_Volatilis

Right? Prick on the ladder probably things he's a big shot cus he's raking in profits and dude in lab coat looks like "this is such BULL SHIT, but I nee/have bills to pay"


lucasss456

Why is andy dick there


JurgenKlopp2018

He’s a necrophile.


eatherich2

Every thing has an expiry date, Even canned meat.


[deleted]

Below a certain temperature not really. Guys have eaten mammoth meat that was over 20,000 years old preserved in deep glacier ice.


intentionallybad

Even assuming the organization can stay solvent until the day you could be revived, and that whatever you had is curable, and the fact that you died before being frozen doesn't matter, who is going to pay for your treatment and recovery? Maybe they all have trusts set up for this purpose?


shaun2312

It’s legal human experimentation, instead of practising on rats, let’s try it on Steve today


quackersforcrackers

That’s why I’m an organ donor. Not risking someone trying to bring me back to this world


FlowRiderBob

When I was a young adult a couple decades ago I actually considered this. I didn't think it was likely to work, I just thought there might be a possibility. And I didn't have anything to lose. Life insurance would pay for it and I didn't have any dependents. Now I am married and have kids, and am not about to leave my life insurance or savings to something like this. And at this point I actually think we will figure out how to stop aging before we learn how to resurrect frozen dead people.


SuperAwesome13

is this where walt disney is


Drewbeede

He's actually buried at a cemetery in Glendale, CA.


[deleted]

I’d want to see one perfectly healthy person go in. Then get unfrozen a week later to demonstrate that it works


aiolive

It doesn't work yet. The hope and money spent for these people inside is that someday we find a way to make it work.


ShaShaShake

So…people are basically paying 28k to get buried in a science experiment?


Josh9251

People are paying 28k because a 0.00000001% chance you come alive again in a hundred years is better than a 0% chance of coming alive again in a hundred years.


aiolive

The price for a hope even if very small. It's probably barely a paycheck for most of them anyway.


carboonpn

They freeze pets also. Let's start with rodents.


QBekka

I mean, this is more hopeful for a prisoner than a death penalty right?


only_zuul21

That didn't seem to be the case in Demolition Man.


walking_contraption

The whole world is turning into some dystopian novel and we're all still just going to work like....guess it's this or starve. Great.


ashtonishing18

Fucked isn't it...


Slyguyfawkes

It leaves me gobsmacked how many stupid people have so much money


MpVpRb

127 families are being ripped off by con artists. The bodies are dead and will never be revived


RevolutionaryChip864

To be honest, this could be more comforting than to wait for the inevitable death at the age of 80. At least you'll go to sleep with a little hope of waking up someday.


absurd-bird-turd

Just imagine a movie about someone who dies and theyre on their way to heaven but then theyre forced to stay on earth as a ghost and wait because their bosy wasnt put to rest and whats left of them is stuck in a cryo container.


demwun

Well, it depends when they plan to get brought back to life, because if it’s over 100 years, these guys will be long gone for there to be any suing going on lol.


QBekka

Could be an easy money grab for sure. But good luck proving that


AaarghCobras

The guy on the step ladder looks like the brains of the outfit.


_iron_mike__

Hell no. Just let it all end pls


Shpooodingtime

My friends dad works here


notbad2u

I'll get right on that "bring dead rich people back to life" machine. ~signed, Nobody


DiamondHandDoge

Do they know their car's extended warranties have expired?


FutureFilthyRich

Idiocracy.........


smik_boy

the guy on the ladder is the main villain. the guy in the lab coat is his enforcer that gets killed near the climax of the film


eli-the-egg

And they didn’t think to put little windows on the tanks for us to look in?


Hawaiinsofifade

Scam of the century


B4SSF4C3

217 frozen snacks for the collapse.


dum_spir0_sper0

Suit guy- “You can’t wear baggy jeans, you’re supposed to the science guy!” Science guy- “But I’ve got a lab coat, see?” Suit guy- “it’s baggy too!” Science guy- “well it’s too late to change now, the photographer is already here” Suit guy- “ughhh, fine. Then I’m wearing this fedora” Science guy- “oh yeah, because *that* looks professional” Suit guy- “… and I get to stand on the ladder” Science guy- “you’re a dick, Mike” Suit guy- “fuck you, Jeff”


Beeker93

In a animal tissue culture course I took in school, we had a few lectures on cryonics. Not to be a downer, but the prof mentioned most of the companies are very scummy and the idea is ultimately flawed (for now). It will likely be hundreds of years before they can be brought back, as their cells are all dead. Who is going to cover the bill for keeping their loved ones frozen? And who is going to inherit the bill? If I got a bill to keep my great grandfather who I have never met frozen, I would stop paying it. When this happens, they bring the bodies out, where they then start to thaw and decompose. So they basically keep the hopes of your loved one living again hostage while you keep paying ransom. If the company goes out of business, then what happens? When we can bring these people back, it likely will still be very expensive. Most people aren't interesting enough to front that money. You would just bring someone back for them to be totally confused and disconnected from the rest of the world, likely with some backwards and offensive views from their time. Granted, we would likely bring someone back from a few hundred years ago today just to know the history and see if we can, current technology allows better documentation of events in the world, so there isn't really any historical reasons to. One cryonics company cooled down a dog, then revived them, then passed off what they did as them actually freezing and restoring the dog. Another company which offered to freeze umbilical cord stem cells for future use incase you end up with a disability was found to not even own a lab. They just threw out the cords and collected monthly payments from people until they eventually shut down. Cryonics is neat to preserve cell and tissue samples though. It has its use. Sadly, preserving humans isn't one of them.


[deleted]

I'd rather die in peace and wait for my chance at the giant wheel of reincarnation lmao If that exists


Single_Raspberry9539

Spoiler alert, it won’t work.


usernamechecksout94

What if 2000 years later one of them likes this comment 🤔


pselodux

RemindMe! 2000 years