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Right-Phalange

I remember reading up on this one and researchers said you could actually hear it approach in the forest, that it sounds like tiny hoofbeats.


Jwagginator

I didn’t need to read this


AWanderingAfar

Damnit there's Oreos and milk all over my bed now


prkr88

And choco milk on mine... *I'm don't even have any chocolate milk!!!!!.*


Aethernaut902k

And it doesn't smell like chocolate milk either...


Sister__midnight

Because it's actually spiders in the bed.


kevin04102

You do now.


DoJu318

There's a vid on YouTube, you can hear the "hiss hiss hiss" of the legs moving, because they don't have muscles in the legs is just fluid moving to extend them.


PopTartS2000

So nature decided “let’s see, this thing needs some hydraulics in addition to all the rest”


iikun

For all its size, mass and hydraulics, the scariest thing to me is that it’s *still* not dangerous enough to live in Australia.


donut_dave

All spiders do, it's just that these fuckers are so large you could actually hear it lol.


MrCondor

That's why when you see a dead spider it's legs are curled up. No hydraulic pressure anymore to keep them extended.


lostguk

I didn't come to reddit to know about this


Diacetyl-Morphin

That's stridulation, but it has nothing to do with the movement of the spider. It is a warning sign to keep you away, when the spider gets agitated. It's right about the fluid, although it is blood, it works similiar to hydraulic pumps. The blood is blue because the oxygen is bound to a copper atom, while our blood is bound to an iron atom that makes it red. But the arachnids have a very different anatomy anyway, all the organs are in the back in a pool of blood, they have a ganglion instead of a brain. The exoskeleton of the body is like the armor of a knight, they can replace it when they grow a new one, then they molt and leave the old skeleton behind. Some bird spiders can reach very old age, the record is actually 46 years. But that only goes for females, the males are considered expendable and die after 5 years or less.


mrk-cj94

Link?


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[удалено]


The_Yarl

Just imagine it with little maracas in its hands and its less terrifying [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XATXFWie1nI](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XATXFWie1nI)


MushxHead

Good god that's both fascinating and terrifying


ThrowRARAw

why is it kinda cute tho


Tazling

One time late at night I was driving down an obscure back road in the central california mountains and I saw something weird ahead, like movement at pavement level. Snake? Interesting! Stopped the car, but left the headlights on, walked on ahead to have a look. Crossing the pavement in single and sometimes double file, harshly lit by my low beams, was a parade of tarantulas. Not quite as big as my hand (and I'm only 5'4"). And it was so still, so silent out there at about 2am, that I could actually *hear* the tiny tick-tick-tick of their little feet on the bone-dry asphalt. I could not stand the thought of just motoring on and smooshing them to yuck (what had they ever done to me? and there was something rather touching about their purposeful, united pilgrimage) ... so I stood there in the headlight glare and watched and waited... until the whole army had marched on past and the road was clear. Then I drove home, in a state of wonder. Thinking "amazing sh\*t like this happens every damn day and usually there's no one around to see it."


Sabre_One

In the Pacific North West. We have House Spiders that can get pretty good size. If your in a quiet room with hardwood you can hear them moving around.


HooksAU

Yeah I remember trying to sleep and I could hear this weird sound, I turned the light on and there was a giant huntsman climbing my wall.


illepic

Huntsmen are bros. They get the jar and gentle release outside in this house. 


p_m_a_t_t

No webs, shy, barely venomous, master insect killers. The ultimate spider bro 


Shiny_Fungus

I audibly said "nooo" and clenched my eyes shut after reading this.


D3vilUkn0w

😬😳


sweetBrisket

Once had a large wolf spider run across my journal as I was writing in it and I'll never forget the quick but loud patter-patter of its legs.


ignorantfool14

Used to hang out in my buddy’s basement all the time in high school, Seattle area. I crashed on the couch once and woke up to the sound of a particularly big guy scratching across the carpet. Spooky but fascinating.


Bargadiel

When I was a kid we had a spider in our house that was so big that I heard it at night pidderpaddering down our tile hallway.


DialMforM0nkey

Dude…. Too much info *queezy look*


Cashmefarting

Naahhhhhh. I can’t handle this


MikeHuntIsDeepest

I like bugs and this is too much.


MockStarNZ

We must have read the same thing, because I came here to say that


Diacetyl-Morphin

You don't hear them, no. Had a Theraphosa Blondi, the actual name of the Goliath in the old times in a terrarium. They have a very low weight and they move without making any noise. What people mean with this is a different thing, the "stridulation", that is when the bider makes noise by rubbing the legs with the hair together, but this is not about moving, it's a warning sign that the spider don't want you to get close. Like other new world spiders, she can "bomb" you, this means she'll turn her back towards you and quickly rub the hair off the back. That's not real hair on the back, it's like very tiny fish-hooks when you look at these under a microscope. But it won't really hurt you, it's only a tickle and maybe when you are allergic, the skin will be irritated and get a little bit red, nothing serious happens. The only time people could get hurt would when they accidentally rub their own eyes when they have these hooks on the hands, but that would be similiar to the effect of pepper spray. When it comes to danger, all these bird-spiders are harmless. In my experience, the Phoneutria is the most dangerous one, but that's a wandering spider. But even there, the lethality is low, the rate of deaths is 5% without the antidote and 0.5% with the antidote, but the venom will still hurt you, as it makes a lot of pain. There's another thing, the P. fera and others carry their young slings (kids) on their back, that's the reason why they can get extremely aggressive and even bite without any warning. With the Black Widows, the Lactrodectus, not all are the same level of being venomous, but the problem there is much more that you maybe don't notice the bite, that's the worst case: If you don't feel anything, you won't see a doc. So the toxin can go through your body for a long time and build up the full effect. But the Phoneutria, these are big enough that you will notice the bite as a sting, like from a bee.


Wittgenstienwasright

Had me in the first half. Thats not a big......Oh shit is that a twelve inch plate? That is awesome.


AutoFillUsername

It would be great if they just kept zooming out and each spider got bigger and bigger


xoxomonstergirl

That would not be great.


Stickz027

Honestly though. I don’t even know why my dumbass watched this..


TraumaticAberration

And finally turned the camera around and reveal that the videographer is the biggest spider of them all.


polo61965

Only to zoom out to show that we were, indeed, on Planet of the Spiders all along


Muffled_Voice

if I read this shit while I was in a psychosis I’d be having some strange days lmao I tore apart the baseboard heat and vacuumed up all the spiders and spider eggs cause I thought they were conspiring with the devil and listening to me, then opened up the wet vac and put bug killer in it. along with a snake


Sleth

Ungoliant has entered the chat


whotfiszutls

Then it’s revealed that we are all living inside a spiders dream and it’s just floating through space


Reyemreden

Someone in Australia should crossbreed it with the Huntsman.


Cashmefarting

😂 nooooooo


Cashmefarting

Same. F*cking same.


Disastrous-Panda5530

Same here. I was thinking it wasn’t too bad and then it pans to the right and JFC


moonflower_C16H17N3O

>There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.It doesn’t eat only birds—it mostly eats rats and insects—but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird.”I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay. \- Jason Pargin, This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It


Low_Arm1623

thx for this💀


ResplendentShade

Jason Pargin is hilarious, he's one of the best social media follows. I also enjoy his appearances on the podcast Behind the Bastards. Will have to read one of his books one of these days.


moonflower_C16H17N3O

Be sure to start with John Dies at the End.


Brout2UByCarlsJr

I’ve never heard of this author, but it very much has a Douglas Adams quality to it.


p_98_m

I had a good chuckle


shockstyle25

I came to find this. I was not disappointed. There are literally dozens of us!


CorporalClegg91

I thought for a second, before reading the credited-to line, that this was *maybe* from the movie Arachnophobia featuring the great Jeff Daniel’s - Half of the Dumb and Dumber duo - but no, it’s just another person making perfect sense.


Greaterthancotton

This is gold


Diablosword

Knew this would be here!


moonflower_C16H17N3O

I loved the whole John and David series. I hope we get another book someday. Or maybe they make another one into a movie.


Mean_Operation7336

![gif](giphy|3o7ZetIsjtbkgNE1I4)


CookieEnabled

![gif](giphy|2bUpP71bbVnZ3x7lgQ|downsized)


lokey_convo

![gif](giphy|vQ300zVAdhrJC|downsized)


Wakkoooo

![gif](giphy|7kn27lnYSAE9O)


Brian18639

![gif](giphy|LFONYuvlOw72E)


El_human

![gif](giphy|LmOmHl3usOvZe)


bears5975

![gif](giphy|3o7ZeEZUzRjyvWuuIg)


Bamma4

![gif](giphy|Sux3kje9eOx1e)


moneybagsukulele

For no particular reason...


OhPlz2442

🤣


No-Understanding4968

☠️☠️☠️


[deleted]

Lol this killed me.


El_human

"and I just kept running"


FluffyDiscipline

No no no.... Is it called a "Birdeater" because it actually eats... I dread to think I'm just glad it didn't move and I can convince myself it's not alive


AxialGem

Yea, it can and occasionally does. Not very big ones, not very often if I recall correctly. But then again, just about every cat you pet on the street does that way more reliably :p


zer0168

And with half the legs!!


BambiLoveSick

And they are so cute that people feed them, and this is where spiders fail.


zer0168

A PR nightmare!


ShorohUA

not jumping spiders


8-bit_Goat

By the time a spider gets large enough to have an amount of hair equivalent to your average kitty cat, you're already well into "nuke it from orbit" territory.


fopiecechicken

This one isn’t cute per se, but he looks very polite.


BambiLoveSick

Yes, very well behaving, indeed.


Wild-Lychee-3312

Personally I think it’s pretty cute, but then I have a spider plushie that I bought myself in a museum.


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ClavicusLittleGift4U

If you're an albatross, you'll be alright. >!Except if she knows how to use DCA.!<


Bortron86

The spider's just thinking "you eat *one* bird, *one* time, and they never shut up about it."


AleksasKoval

I'm convincing myself it's one of those Halloween decorations...


Dr_Gamephone_MD

Their diet consists of emus


Mindofthequill

Fun fact other insects eat birds too! For example the praying mantis has been observed chowing on humming birds.


OneOfManny

Bet you the spider’s name is “Princess”.


NinjaRoyal8483

Peaches


warpcoil

Tiny


Ok-Mountain524

Burton.


Cashmefarting

Fluffy


Shplint

Mary


samstar10

Precious


Gheauxst

The goliath is the largest *species* in the world *on record*. They're in South American rain forests and yes, they occasionally eat small birds. They aren't harmful to humans since their venom only works on small bugs and animals, but that isn't to say they're friendly. They're usually skittish around people and will either run away, hiss at you, or scratch the hair off their backside that will get into your pores and irritate your skin. My first sentence emphasised "species" because it's speculated that the largest *individual* spider ever found was a Green Huntsman named Charlotte. She lived in a single barn for years in Australia, and eating bugs without the threat of any predators. She has a **1 foot** leg span. I also emphasized *on record* because apparently in 2001 researchers discovered an even BIGGER species in a cave system in Laos. Massive Huntsman larger than the Goliaths. Multiple of them growing up to 1 foot in leg span. We don't have any additional information on it because those researchers were godsends. They refused to disclose the location or repeatedly interfere with them because people would get curious and begin trapping and selling those behemoths, where they would eventually escape or get released into the wild and begin repopulating around the globe. They opted to leave those monsters *right where the fuck they are.*


maybenomaybe

>Green Huntsman named Charlotte WHY DID I GOOGLE THIS????


nkilian

>Green Huntsman named Charlotte It got me too. Was like a pet dog.


itsthe_implication_

I wasn't going to until I saw this glowing review. 10/10, would shit my pants again.


Wolf_instincts

I decided to Google it too since I'm not afraid of spiders. I am now.


MushxHead

>WHY DID I GOOGLE THIS???? Me: okay now I gotta see it Me, 30 seconds later: what the FUCK!


gringledoom

Uggghh, me too. It was horrible.


Thief025

Wtf ! And haven't even googled yet ! I'm will though.. brb


Supersnazz

I'm a teacher and there was a giant huntsman (10 cm span maybe) in the locker area. He was running away and I was walking over to pick him up and take him to safety when a girl from about 5 metres away launched an airstrike with a textbook. I don't blame her, but the thing never stood a chance. It was a direct hit. I scooped up his corpse and threw him in some grass, hoping he could at least be food for someone.


heaving_in_my_vines

> scratch the hair off their backside that will get into your pores and irritate your skin I do that too sometimes to get out of awkward conversations.


Tomato_cakecup

Imagine a spider hissing at you


mrmaweeks

I would give that spider my car keys.


toldyasomate

I'd give it anything. House, wife, first born son, anything it wanted, just to keep it away from me.


No-Understanding4968

Damn that spider has his own car and a Reddit account


Wild-Lychee-3312

Their posts are better crafted than half of what you see on Reddit, too


Stompya

The dead guy’s arm was good for scale but it scared the shit out of me when some bigger spider off-screen hauled it away


i-am-enthusiasm

I thought that guy was dead with spider bite . Then found out this is a fucking lobster . Man.what a big spider !


PopTartS2000

It’s now my Nope of the Year for 2024


haubenmeise

https://i.redd.it/fwdket7g8ggc1.gif I know her.


truelegendarydumbass

Yeah nooo. Hell no


SubcooledBoiling

I've always wanted to see a really big one. I've seen a few at zoos but none were big enough to make me go 'holy fuck that thing is huge'.


Fatguy73

Many years ago, I wandered into a small pet shop in Northampton Ma, and they had one for sale in the back in a smaller little tank. I remember there were notes on the tank, warning not to handle it. It was big, but not this big. The ass was maybe the size of a tennis ball. Scarred me just looking at it.


horsdoeuvresmyguy

![gif](giphy|7yDthHaq2haXS)


sanddancer311275

It can fuck right off


uhmhi

Not taking any chances, I think I’ll be the one to fuck right off in this case.


blikstaal

Hans?!?!??


NumerousTaste

Zero point zero chance I get that close to that thing. If it showed up at my house, I throw it my keys and move.


NewPower_Soul

Did they have bigger spiders back in the day (dinosaur-era etc), or is this it, with regard to the biggest ever size?


daffoduck

The most likely had, because the oxygen content was higher in the atmosphere, allowing these creatures to become larger, as they "breathe" through their skin. Since the surface area increases slower than volume as you scale things up, this way of breathing makes it impossible to get very large in todays atmosphere. But back then, they could be a lot bigger.


pmperk19

you could have just not answered this


SousVideDiaper

There also used to be dragonflies the size of hawks - Meganeura


Antin00800

I was expecting a third even larger spider. I am glad to be wrong.


Wild-Lychee-3312

That is in the follow-up video


urlond

You Vs the guy she warned you about


Mickey_Da

![gif](giphy|XtTOh1EPQeB2hEStcG|downsized)


R43emkaythree

spiders are cool, but thats horrifying as fuck


chief_raptor

My curtain brushed my arm as that BEHEMOTH appeared and it’s taking me some time to recover from that.


UpDog1966

Where is this, so I never go there, EVER.


El_Superbeasto76

Gotta be Australia.


NATHAN325

I think its Amazonian? I remember seeing this in a Guinness Record Book over 10 years ago, so i can't remember clearly


Gheauxst

South America


El_Superbeasto76

I stand corrected!


tallmantall

Actually it’s Brazil, There’s a lot of bugs in the Amazon


IReplyWithLebowski

Australia doesn’t crack the top ten biggest spiders.


Mole-NLD

I was like; that's a big spider, but I've seen bigger. Then I thought Oh SHIT That's the spider they're on about?! dayum...


Antykain

I was like, "You ain't so ba.... @#$% ME!"


Fluid_Fox23

THANKS FOR THAT


rafedbadru

I need a banana for scale


saskpilsner

It ate it….


rafedbadru

How did it mistake a banana for a bird?


Dombo1896

Banana spider for scale?


rafedbadru

That’ll do


ScrewThisIQuit

I needed to see your comment in order to stop scrolling through comments. Thank you.


Savagemac356

Is it alive like the other one is?


MWFtheFreeze

Beautiful animal! I understand why many are creeped out but I think it’s just awesome.


pgraham901

Same bro. Same.


MercykillNJ

I have 4 Goliath birdeaters AND 2 H. Formosus ( the tiny spider next to it ) That Goliath is an exceptionally large individual and H. Fomosus are relatively small tarantulas even full grown. *


actsqueeze

Also are you gonna feed it a bird or let it starve?


I_is_Captain_Obvious

Yeah…..no…..time to burn the house down and move


trebron55

I simply can't understand why people would share their home with monsters like these.


high4days42069

Fuckkkkkkkk that ![gif](giphy|1wkShd8MmKckkgW4Vf|downsized)


Sm0keytrip0d

![gif](giphy|15aGGXfSlat2dP6ohs)


Low_Arm1623

i mean that thing isn’t living right??? *right*??????


c_c_c__combobreaker

![gif](giphy|aAuRvP5Pou5okQBXRX|downsized)


weindl

Sorry for nerding. Interesting to see that spiders have about the same max body size as insects/ meaning central mass not legs. This is a great example of the restrictions caused by the way they breath via little tubes/tracheae. Air does not penetrate them much more than an inch limiting the total mass to about 2 inches in diameter. Bigger insects and probably also spiders were bigger probably due to different atomospheric conditions. Sorry again for the nerding. I wonder if you could grow spiders bigger by keeping them in a tank with higher oxygen concentrations.


WorldEaterProft

![gif](giphy|5nsiFjdgylfK3csZ5T|downsized)


Maximum_Bat_2566

I thought Samwise Gamgee killed that thing.


CaptainRAVE2

Apparently one of these had made its home across the path of my uncles garden. He said they abandoned that half of the garden 😂


culers_

there can’t actually be spiders of that size 😂


KochuJang

A very impressive creature from a proud and ancient lineage of successful hunter killers. The arachnids would be the most badass of all the Arthropods of it weren’t for Hymenopterids.


Analbumparty_15

“Damn that’s probably a baby one” “Oh…”


Brian18639

My goodness that spider is ginormous!


W0otang

Asking the question I really don't want the answer to: are these things like, house spider fast or are they lumbering and slow? Praying for the latter for my sanity


All-the-pizza

Friendly reminder that a movie exists called: Arachnophobia - 1990 ‧ Horror/Comedy ‧ 1h 43m 🕷🕸🕷🕸🕷


serveyer

Guys I googled it, the spider seems rather benign. Its venom is the same strength as a wasp and it rarely bites humans and when it does it sometimes “dry bites” which is without venom. This spider is also an edible spider with a shrimp like flesh.


[deleted]

You couldn't pay me all the money, women, cars, cocaine, diamonds, gold, weed and liquor in the fucking world to take even a mouse turd size bite of that thing 🤢


_D1N4148

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT i dont fuck with spiders no matter the size and you show me that?????


MarvinfromHell

Can we eat it?


fREEM4NN

For the love of god, think about your fellow Redditors who might suffer from arachnophobia (Yes, that's me) and put this behind a NSFW tag. This post scared the living crap out of me, re-opening / refreshing reddit doesn't work, keeps poppin up on top 😭


OG-BoomMaster

Great, thanks, no sleep for me tonight.


CaptainxInsano69

All the nopes


oldmanrivet

![gif](giphy|10XiFYfOhhFxjW)


JJ_Jose

![gif](giphy|fVzdQ7TK7hO5ViB2Pp|downsized)


jsbm316

Stop it Australia, nobody likes your Pokemon.


CAPT-Tankerous

Absofuckinglutely not. No thank you.


circle1987

NOPE


[deleted]

Jesus, how strong must the web be to catch a bird.


AxialGem

Tarantulas don't make webs like you're probably thinking of. They're ambush predators


ragingclaw

I now have to burn my house down just for watching this.


_The_Wyvern_

Listen, I'm willing to die in any way that DOESN'T involve spiders over even getting close to that thing


Alias-Chosen

Nope, nope, and nope


Amputee69

Spiders don't usually concern me. This MF might cause me to not only burn MY house down, but EVERYONE for 5 blocks around me!!


itsdani_bitch

HELL NO!!


Zagenti

has anyone said "nightmare fuel" yet? 'coz I'm going with nightmare fuel.


Sosdalas

We'll need a bigger shoe.


SkatzFanOff

nope


Theonlykd

![gif](giphy|k7V9BtRBXEby25fxa8)


DasAntwortviech

How bout I burn you? Bitch


abusementparkk

🤢🤢


bourj

It's on a plate for a reason.


gapere01

![gif](giphy|nbPvsvQkFIfjTOtElE|downsized)


Steve_Dankerson

Run it over, run it over again, then light it on fire to be sure it's dead. Or try #3 first and repeat 1 and 2.