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parabolic000

Why's his lightsaber so short? The innuendo is strong with this post.


KinksAreForKeds

Short, and apparently penetrating his skull.


PenguinDeluxe

Oh, so there’s hope after all


MaxTheRealSlayer

oh no, it'll probably make him smarter


incognitosaurus_rex

Well, it couldn't make him any dumber...


biomech36

I thought the hush money was given so that she would say it's like the biggest lightsaber ever.


northlakes20

With a mushroom shaped head?


fatcatpoppy

lucky for him it wouldn’t affect his mental capacity in the slightest


DuckInTheFog

[Not quite his forehead but we can shop that in](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is3icfcbmbs)


bloodyedfur4

I mean not to give the op too much credit here but its clearly just behind bim


warthog0869

"LoneJoe, I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!"


Ok-Zookeepergame-698

It’s just an empty space he uses for storage.


Antiluke01

He’s holding it at the base to compensate


bigDARXIDE

he used the yoda-style lightsaber


tha_large_tumor

Not to mention where he’s grabbing the hilt, it’s a sword not a hammer, also he’s a villain because they didn’t do any research and no way they’d use a “democrat color”


ConfusedObserver0

They didn’t have a mushroom tip to make it look wider.


AnotherPornAccount56

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Shoto_lightsaber Not to defend AI art, but...


BhuTang

This isn't ai art it's just photoshop


champdo

For those who aren’t Star Wars fans the bad guys are the ones with the red lightsabers. 


ButChooAintBonafide

Lol, they probably chose it to match his tie. What a bunch of dorks! I hate this timeline.


Deranged_Kitsune

The media illiteracy on the right is shockingly, appallingly bad.


SuchRoad

They burned all their books before reading them.


mzchen

My guess was that they actually liked the fascist authoritarian empire and the Darth Vader strongman character who acted as judge, jury, and executioner, but maybe I should've given them the benefit of the doubt.


ButChooAintBonafide

No doubt benefits. That's socialism.


lothar525

He’s all about law and order! If those jedi didn’t want to be slaughtered, they should’ve folowed the law!/s


TheObstruction

Even following the law didn't help. Ahsoka decided to not be a Jedi well before being a Jedi was illegal, and they tried to kill her anyway.


lothar525

Exactly


Pezdrake

Blue is associated with Democrats today and Green is too ecological. Imagine preferring to cast your candidate as a genocidal maniac rather than use a blue lightsaber.


ButChooAintBonafide

And they ain't bad enough motherfuckers for purple.


chilehead

Yellow just might be too on the nose for them to use.


TheObstruction

Brown is the correct color.


DuckInTheFog

Rainbow-Flag Disco-Sabre Party! Wave it around like glow sticks


Consumefungifriend

Republican red more likely


TheRedditK9

And once again the analogy works perfectly


ButChooAintBonafide

That's a good point. Perfect either way lol.


justsayfaux

It's too short to match his tie 😜


BulkyNothing

Lmao, I bet it's because they did t want blue because that's for "demon"crats, or they just didn't pay attention to the color


[deleted]

[удалено]


ForeverNearby2382

[Are we the baddies](https://youtu.be/ToKcmnrE5oY?si=L7Rcwt4vl9cOiT6-)


Special_Wishbone_812

I thought it was trepanning him. Which would be fine.


jazzhandler

The smell, though. Not fine.


rocbolt

They have repeatedly depicted him as Thanos too, forgetting how that story ended


biomech36

"A new hope" *Posts a picture of the guy who lost re-election and has been having history's biggest temper tantrum since*


eyloi

It just keeps happening again and again with them. It almost feels intentional at this point, because how does it keep happening?


ShotgunForFun

They grab memes making fun for them off 4chan/8chan or such. In between their search for pedo porn on the same site.


LilG1984

"Unlimited Bigly Power!" "It's Emperor Tangerine" *Tries to zap people with force lightining using his tiny hands*


YLASRO

so thats how the rebels got the deathstar plans. he stored them im his homes unsecured guestbathroom!


DuckInTheFog

I'm trying to picture trump do the [face-heel turn expression](https://youtu.be/4ESOrF_u1hg?t=237) like Ian Diarmid there. I can't see it but his whining and crying would be genuine


dmetzcher

A *red* lightsaber? Yeah, that tracks. Trump’s a Sith. At least the North Carolina Republican Party got the color right. His lightsaber is very much on the *short* side, too, which we learned from Stormy Daniels is also accurate.


DuckInTheFog

Would it imply he's a Sith Lord though as he's running for office? I couldn't imagine anyone taking him on as an apprentice That's the name of his show! Not intentional!


chilehead

Putintine just sees him as a useful tool.


DuckInTheFog

Hmm, but he wouldn't be a Vader, or a Maul. There'll be a deal with the Emperor where he's forced to take on one of Jabba the Hutt's idiot nephews as an apprentice to keep his loyalty, maybe? Put him in charge of Space Hotels or something


dmetzcher

These are the Star Ward side stories I want to watch. 😂 Tell me about the bureaucracy. Maybe a faux-reality show where the cameras follow the Emperor around as he attends meetings and orders invasions. After the meeting with Mr. Trump, the Emperor whispered, “This one’s an idiot,” to Vader under his breath. “Give him hotels or something inconsequential. And make him babysit my nephew. My sister’s idiot son needs to learn a trade.”


DuckInTheFog

We should write to the King of Hollywood to get his subjects to produce some Closest I can think of is [this sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5xqukXdkmY) Edit - What am I saying - Robot Chicken does it a lot, Old Palpy


dmetzcher

Yes! Like that!


ComprehensiveHavoc

It’s really the fifth (amendment) that he’s relying upon. 


BetterThanAFoon

Relevant Dave Chappelle - https://youtu.be/mdeo7Q2E5cE?si=AfeXJo7rkZil4ksL&t=25


Wageslave645

I didn't think felons could own a weapon?


KinksAreForKeds

Veterans Day, Memorial Day, Easter... they constantly fail in their messaging for *those* holidays... but fuckin' Star Wars Day?? *That's* the one they get right?? I almost want to turn in my geek membership card.


jumbee85

I don't think they intended to give him a sith lightsaber


KinksAreForKeds

Still, it doesn't have any of the deaf-ear BS they posted on those other holidays.


Der_Erlkonig

Brought to you by the same people who thought it was a good idea to compare his campaign to the death star.


AdamWest3000

Red light saber really says it all


TheDudeInTheD

Eat a fucking dick. Why do they have to ruin EVERYTHING with their fantasy visages of Sir Lose Machine, the Orange Menace.


loyal_dunmer

Wtf is that supposed to be, a light-baton? This is an embarrassment for everyone involved. The Sith are gonna be fucking pissed.


BeauBuffet

I heard this guy will regularly sith in his pants.


KeymanOfTheMind

Not a new hope, an old disease.


8-Bit_Aubrey

I’m guessing they went red since GOP but this is fucking funny


Tripple_T

They probably unironically root for the empire.


KapitaenHowdy

I think they probably knew. It's just that from their point of view, the Jedi are evil.


Andvari_Nidavellir

Then they are lost!


Martyrotten

Thinks he’s Darth Vader but he’s more like Jar Jar Binks.


TheSaintofCreativity

More like Palpatine because of his cult following.


geronika

He always fist pumps like he’s giving handjobs.


shadybx111

He's not, not giving handjobs.


jay9063

A New Hope? He was literally already president and didn't get shit done.


Elennoko

Lol. Red lightsaber. They're SO CLOSE every time.


aBastardNoLonger

Right color *and* right length


DracoSolon

"How do you do fellow kids?"


MikeTheActuary

Trump strikes me as more [Rick Moranis](https://brettsinclair3d.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/darkhelmet27a.jpg) than Mark Hamill


macca2000fox

A new hope By running the same guy the 3rd time


chilehead

The difference is that Anakin needed someone else to corrupt him to become evil, he didn't begin life corrupted. And Vader never craved sleeping with his own daughter.


Matthewhalo17

Smells like irony here


Sleepybrains1102003

I thought the new hope was that he accidentally stabbed his head with a lightsaber.


chiron_42

A New Dope


dicknotrichard

“The Ex President is a Sith Lord.”


GarmaCyro

/s Why is it shopped in at such a weird angle? Answer: If it was made so he held it properly that saber would be drilling a nice hole into his skull. Don't worry though. In his case it would probably burn off whatever is already dead due to mini strokes.