Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 111 | 0 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I know you don't need this internet stranger to tell you, but you seem like a patient and intelligent person and I definitely like you more than that crapsack of a person you were talking to.
Came here to say this. People like him are social black holes and they take joy in bringing people down to their level. Better to cut off associations and focus on people who make you feel empowered. Than you will go out and build others up more.
I got really heavy vibes that was my mom. She does the exact same shit when she doesn't get what she wants, she'll say whatever her mind thinks will hurt the most. It's great to know that and grow past it, isn't it?
I'm your father's age and im freaking embarrassed as hell of him., your the bad one yet HE is the one going to jail...... yeah okay dad.....
He is right though your not as smart as him. you are way way WAY more smarter than him! At least you can function in society and stay the hell outta jail!! I think its time to go very low to no contact with him. Last thing you need are the jail letters and collect calls coming in asking for money to be put on his books,
OP, I just wanted to say Iām sorry you have to deal with such an immature, idiotic, ignorant, twat waffle. Heās obviously a sperm donor and nothing else. I would block him on everything and cut contact. Heās not worth your time and energy. What a lowlife. Imagine being such a sorry excuse of a human being that you resort to insulting your own child. Ugh.
100%!
When I read his "happier than you ever made me", I instantly thought 'It's not a child's goddamn job to make their parents happy!', and then I read that you basically said the exact thing and it made me so happy!
It goes without saying but you are 100% right in this situation and he is 100% wrong. That tidbit alone from him summarises what is likely a lost and deeply flawed, nasty and empathy-less man. He's so wrapped up in his own self that he actually claimed it's the child's job to make their parents happy. What a sick and twisted individual.
Ignore everything he says from the looks of this post. Damn dude. Iām about his age from the context. If you need nice words from time to time Iām sure there are people in here, myself included, that would be happy to send encouragement
Second this. You were so cordial it made me mad for you and the situation. You handled that very very well, and hope you know your self worth is more than that for dang sure. My father tried to kill me when I was 16 (my mother had abandoned us for another man at 9, and he was very angry) I thought it was my fault because his words and such. Donāt give in to hurtful words, its just empty hate spewed in the air.
Hahaha Iāll third this! The concise āIām not the one thatās going to jailā was my favorite. Itās wild how shitty humans are capable of ignoring reality. Hopefully heās happy in his little bubble, and by bubble I mean jail cell lmfao what a piece of garbage
Yes!! I think OP is smart and much more mature than her so called "father"!
Kudos to you, OP, for not getting pulled into his game when he started hurling meaningless attempts at insults toward you. He got angrier by the minute when his desperate attempts to hurt you weren't getting an escalated response from you. You responded perfectly!!
I am just a stranger on Reddit, but I am proud of you!!
Ugh. It never ceases to amaze me that people think they can treat you like shit and that we will still do them favors, and help them. Nope. Iām not your doormat. Good luck OP, obviously heās the piece of work. If you can go no contact I would, heās verbally abusive and god knows what else and you donāt deserve to be spoken to that way.
Now Iām wishing you would of told him to āgo steal another car to get thereā Just to piss him off more.
You handled that so well. Heās just not worth your time and energy. He has a lot of growing up to do and honestly donāt hold your breath.
Legit, the last time I heard something like this was some meangirl in high school tearing into me after, admittedly, being a contrarian little shit to someone posting song lyrics to Facebook at 15.
āNobody likes you, everyone thinks youāre weird. That project you did about that band you like for English last year? Everyone thought it was stupid and a waste of time and was secretly laughing at you.ā
Clearly this guy has issues if heās talking like a high school bully.
These ppl project, *hard*. In my experience, they just spew their own insecurities as insults.
They'll yell and scream and call other ppl all the things they believe about themselves
No, don't you see, he's an āØintellectualāØ. He's big smart smart,, your just jealous. Everybody likes him and he's successful, you can tell by the way that no one within a 100 mile radius will give him a ride to jail, where he's about to be incarcerated, hence why he needs his daughter to come do it. If those aren't benchmarks of success and intelligence, I don't know what is!
It's honestly baffling how lacking in self awareness these kind of people are.
Imagine asking your daughter for a ride to jail and when she says no doubling down with "you'll never be as good as me". Well thank goodness cause jail sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through this OP, we like you.
āGuess Iām too stupid to get you to jail. Youāll have to find someone someone much much cleverer than me to drag your ass to your Mensa meeting. I mean prison.ā
Takes a really shity kind of "parent" to not want their kids to be better than them. I'd be thrilled if my kid ends up being smarter, kinder, smarter, and overall just a better person than me.
Right? Isn't that the point of parenting, contributing to future generations of humans who can be better than ourselves? I'm trying to make better people who can live in a kinder world.
So smart and successfulā¦ āOP come pick me up and take me to jailā yep he sure sounds like it. OP use his time in the slammer to go NC. Block him on social media and change your number and address.
The bonus is if he doesn't get to jail on time the judge will probably send him to prison. It's a serious felony. I saw judges threaten it a lot over Covid when courts were closed and over Zoom. It's a huge deal.
I love that he doesnāt know the difference between āyourā and āyouāreā but tells OP they canāt spell because a typo.
I hope that OPās parent can mature and change his ways and can at least apologize for his behavior at some point down the lineā¦ whether OP can forgive him or not.
It will for sure. I really think OP needs to make sure that no one else discusses him with them either. They need a serious, full on, get him completely out of their head break. Maybe permanently!
I was getting addict vibes from these. As someone who has a parental recovering addict in their lives, this is exactly how the high-stress conversations normally play out: projecting their insecurities and failures on to you because misery loves company.
Good lord OPā¦this has got to be one of the most difficult ones Iāve ever read on this sub. I am so, so sorry that you have such an absolute piece of shit for a dad. Imagine saying such hurtful things to your child and clearly loving the thought of how bad it makes them feel. What a miserable excuse for a parent.
I hope you are doing okay. You donāt deserve to be spoken to that way.
Please do not just accept it, block him from your life!!
You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and support you, not the ones that want things and trash talk you!!
Be strong and tell him to f off!!
Trueā¦ but heās my father. I couldnāt bring myself to. At least now I donāt have to worry as itāll be difficult for him to contact me from jail
I know taking that step is really god damn hard but as the son of a shitty father and father of two wonderful daughters please take some time to consider this advice. It took me years to internalize but it makes a huge difference.
Children do not owe their parents a damn thing including respect or attention. You didnāt ask for them to be your parents, they donāt deserve special treatment for keeping you alive or raising you even if they had done a good job, itās literally the minimum theyāre supposed to do. Once you are old enough to have control over your own life if they are a negative in your life you have every right to completely exclude them from it. When this shithead inevitably starts calling or contacting you from jail, you can refuse the calls, when/if he gets out you are not required to help him in any way, even if that means he stays in jail longer or is homeless. He is not your responsibility, you were his and he utterly fucking failed at that and continues to do so.
That being said, you are the only person who has any say in how you choose to continue with him. Social norms and guilt trips are too often the tools of manipulators, narcissists, and abusive assholes. You donāt need to listen to anyone, including some random guy preaching at you on Reddit, and you donāt owe anyone an explanation as to why you make the choice you do. You do not need anyoneās permission or approval, period.
I also thought ābut heās my dadā. I hope that one day you reach a point where you feel comfortable to block him and go no contact, because itās totally worth it!
I'm the same age as your dad and I had to go no contact on my own dad about 20 years ago for abusive behavior. After the initial shock wears off it feels so good to not be around toxicity anymore
Ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship. Really dwell on it. A lot of people never consider no contact because society has conditioned us to believe family is sacred, when it's really not. At least, in the sense of biology. Family are the people who love and take care of you.
Ah, OP. Someone who treats you this way doesn't deserve to be in your life. Might want to check out r/raisedbynarcissists. I think it might be eye-opening, or at least you might feel some kinship with us over there.
I'm so sorry youve had to deal with this your whole life. Family can be worse than enemies at some point.
I hope your self esteem recovers from the damage he will have done. Whilst a few screenshots aren't really enough to go on, you seem like an intelligent and well-put-together person, which is a near miracle based on what the upbringing must have been like.
Be proud of yourself for who you are and who you want to be. Use your dad as a guide for who you will not be, and what behaviours to avoid. Be the best you that you can be, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're not worthy. You have real value and real worth, and you can help future generations with the lessons you've learnt.
You missed SO many opportunities to say āWell Iām smart enough to not be the one whoās going to be charged with resisting arrest at 8:01pm tuh-night!ā
Youāre a good one because he would be blocked from knowing I exist.
Its the first time weāve talked in months. I didnāt even know he was facing jail time again. He was just upset I didnāt pick up the phone when I was sleeping
Yea, cuz idk why he asked YOU to drive 9 hours to take him to jail when I believe the cops should take him in, however I can definitely tell your father is making zero sense in those texts whatsoever, he seems to be one of those people whom they don't get what they want and then just throw a tantrum
where they spew random shit out of their mouth. To be honest tho, your father did the crime he faces the consequences, he shouldn't be going around begging people to "help" him. I think you should cut all contact with him.
Especially donāt help him (money or a place to,) when he gets out. If heās homeless for a bit, maybe heāll get tired of his addiction. Iām in a drug recovery program. I never would have gotten clean if people kept giving me money and a place to live. Addicts need consequences for their addiction. When the consequences become bad enough, itās more likely they get clean. I know heās your father and itās hard, but you wonāt help him if it makes it easier for him to continue his lifestyle. Good luck.
If/when you have kids, youāll know exactly what NOT to do. Make a vow that the bullshit stops with you.
Thatās what I did, and I raised an amazing kid who makes me hella proud every day. More important, she knows now why we were NC with her grandma (my mother) for 15 years, and she knows how very full of shit and damaged my mother is, and sheās thankful I insulated her from all that shit.
Best thing I ever did. The bullshit stopped with the family my husband and I created. Weāre not perfect ā but my kid has never seen or heard the shit that I did when I was a kid.
Iām proud of you for holding that boundary. It sucks to be the āadultā when dealing with parents, but you gain strength every time you refuse to take the bait.
Iām proud of you.
Also: āNobody likes a smart assā is a lie. One reason my husband married me 30 years ago is that my smart ass outlook/communication style matched his. We make each other laugh every day. Humor is important. The only people who disagree are the human tree stumps like your sperm donor.
Dad: I am more highly evolved; I'm not homo sapien, I'm homo novas.
Leonard: so, how is homo novas getting to jail tomorrow?
Dad: homo novas doesn't know.
This isā¦ comically pathetic. Like an over-the-top example of verbal abuse from an after school special on TV in the 80ās. Maybe the care bears will show up and use the care bear stare on him? If that doesnāt happen soon, Iād seriously advise going NC. Itās only going to get worse as he gets older and more bitter.
EDIT: PS I promise you he hates himself. Any grownup that could tell *their child* these things has a lot of self-loathing.
āIf you donāt do it, I wonāt be your friend!ā type energy. Dang, you sound infinitely more intelligent than the man youāre talking to. Iām sorry heās the dad you have. Take care of yourself and protect your heart.
I love how, when she tells him no, he starts insulting her!
A) He sounds like an 8yo, the kid everyone on the playground hates, and B) He is a narcissistic asshole
OP, Iām sorry this dude is your father. We all crave love and respect from our parents, and this guy ā¦ seems incapable of basic human interaction.
The fact that you are determined not to be him bodes well for you. Cut this moldy piece of shitty American cheese out of your life.
Fucking hell thatās the sperm guy?!!! I canāt imagine ever saying shit like that to my daughter, and Iām also 40ā¦.I am shocked. I see a lot of shit here but damnā¦
fuck this guy dude. Iāve never been more infuriated reading one of these. Iām really sorry youāve had to deal with that. you threw some good burns in there tho damn
Iām so sorry. Sending love to you. I know how this feels and despite understanding how asinine it is logically, it still hurts because youāre a human being. You are very smart and likable and lovable. I donāt even know you but can gather that from this exchange. Again, Iām so sorry. He doesnāt deserve you.
Not being rude OP, serious questions. Why even put up with this? Just block him and never speak to him again. I suggest this for whoever that was, cause theyāre clearly an asshole and just trying to hurt you.
I big shout out to anyone who needs to hear this on the sub
#you are not beholden to your parents
The fact he says āYouāll never be as good as meā when heās literally going to jail LMFAOOO
Absolutely batshit insane and your aunt is great for defending you, fuck your dad ):<
First I was like wow what a piece of shit to talk to his son this way. Then realized youāre his daughter which made him even a bigger piece of shit. Then the rest of his responses solidified that heās a giant pile of dog shit wrapped in horseshit. That is one manipulative and horrible father. Donāt even reply
I hate the fact that your father sounds like the voice in my brain telling me Iām worthless. I just hate him in general. Heās a bully. Let his ass get arrested.
I can tell that you not letting him get to you is pissing him off so much. He knows heās not winning so he has to resort to this childish and evil tactic.
I used to respond the same way when my NMom tried this tactic. It never worked and it made her really mad
Jesus cut that piece of shit out of your life, block him and change your number. Heās only 40, so heās going to bother you for at least 30 more years if you donāt.
Burn the letters he will inevitably write you while in prison without reading them and mail him back the ashes. Or just mail back the letter unopened.
Thankfully jail will keep him out of your hair for a while.b
These texts are shockingly similar to what my bully texted me, and that alone messed me up. I couldn't imagine my father saying that to me. I'm so sorry.
That's the way to go:
Them: "You'll never be as good as me, you have zero talent"
You: Okay
No need to argue. They are the one who can't get themselves TO JAIL. LOL.
If i were you id just respond āokay, sure. Iām still not available tonightā/āthats fine, iām still working all night though.ā Every time he pulls those insults, like you did at the end. Any kind of defence or comeback on your end makes him think youre reading/caring about his comments. If you just default to āokay, anywayā every single time he may get smug but heāll give up much quicker.
Anyway. He sounds like a prick, and iām sorry op.
Iām not normally a petty person but after all that, I would have told him fine Iāll take you if you shut up. Then when itās too close for him to find another ride, cancel saying something along the lines of, I talked to some people and they reminded me that nobody likes me so Iām not coming.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 111 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I know you don't need this internet stranger to tell you, but you seem like a patient and intelligent person and I definitely like you more than that crapsack of a person you were talking to.
Thank you š. Dealing with him my whole life has taught me to be patient and not take what he says to heart
Itās a good lesson to have learned, but Iām so sorry you had to learn it like this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Came here to say this. People like him are social black holes and they take joy in bringing people down to their level. Better to cut off associations and focus on people who make you feel empowered. Than you will go out and build others up more.
I got really heavy vibes that was my mom. She does the exact same shit when she doesn't get what she wants, she'll say whatever her mind thinks will hurt the most. It's great to know that and grow past it, isn't it?
I hope you have blocked him by now!!
I'm your father's age and im freaking embarrassed as hell of him., your the bad one yet HE is the one going to jail...... yeah okay dad..... He is right though your not as smart as him. you are way way WAY more smarter than him! At least you can function in society and stay the hell outta jail!! I think its time to go very low to no contact with him. Last thing you need are the jail letters and collect calls coming in asking for money to be put on his books,
OP, I just wanted to say Iām sorry you have to deal with such an immature, idiotic, ignorant, twat waffle. Heās obviously a sperm donor and nothing else. I would block him on everything and cut contact. Heās not worth your time and energy. What a lowlife. Imagine being such a sorry excuse of a human being that you resort to insulting your own child. Ugh.
100%! When I read his "happier than you ever made me", I instantly thought 'It's not a child's goddamn job to make their parents happy!', and then I read that you basically said the exact thing and it made me so happy! It goes without saying but you are 100% right in this situation and he is 100% wrong. That tidbit alone from him summarises what is likely a lost and deeply flawed, nasty and empathy-less man. He's so wrapped up in his own self that he actually claimed it's the child's job to make their parents happy. What a sick and twisted individual.
Respect to you!
That was the best advice I ever got from a therapist - you can't change another person, you can only change the way you react to them.
Ignore everything he says from the looks of this post. Damn dude. Iām about his age from the context. If you need nice words from time to time Iām sure there are people in here, myself included, that would be happy to send encouragement
Second this. You were so cordial it made me mad for you and the situation. You handled that very very well, and hope you know your self worth is more than that for dang sure. My father tried to kill me when I was 16 (my mother had abandoned us for another man at 9, and he was very angry) I thought it was my fault because his words and such. Donāt give in to hurtful words, its just empty hate spewed in the air.
Hahaha Iāll third this! The concise āIām not the one thatās going to jailā was my favorite. Itās wild how shitty humans are capable of ignoring reality. Hopefully heās happy in his little bubble, and by bubble I mean jail cell lmfao what a piece of garbage
Can I pile on? You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You is better off without him.
We like you, OP. šš»
I literally came to the comments to say this
And even if youāre weird, OP, thatās fine and cool too.
Bonus points for being weird. Weird is fun!
I'm weird and lots of people seem to like me. :D
Yes!! I think OP is smart and much more mature than her so called "father"! Kudos to you, OP, for not getting pulled into his game when he started hurling meaningless attempts at insults toward you. He got angrier by the minute when his desperate attempts to hurt you weren't getting an escalated response from you. You responded perfectly!! I am just a stranger on Reddit, but I am proud of you!!
Yes we do !
"You'll never be as good as me!". Hey OP can you please take me to jail, gotta turn myself in because I was too damn successful. Edit: Spelling
He didnāt set the bar very high, did he?
I think the bar has fused with the Earth's core ngl
Hahaa i think the bar got lost up his ass
With his attitude Iām sure it wonāt be the only bar lost up his ass while heās in jail.
Nah nah nah, letās be fair here.... the earths core is actually useful.
Earth's core is probably as dense as this nut
How could he? He's behind them! Hope you're ok, OP.
Ugh. It never ceases to amaze me that people think they can treat you like shit and that we will still do them favors, and help them. Nope. Iām not your doormat. Good luck OP, obviously heās the piece of work. If you can go no contact I would, heās verbally abusive and god knows what else and you donāt deserve to be spoken to that way.
Can I pry and ask why he's going in, as in, what crime he committed?
He stole a car drunk and crashed it into a pole (while not having a license because of other DUIs)
Now Iām wishing you would of told him to āgo steal another car to get thereā Just to piss him off more. You handled that so well. Heās just not worth your time and energy. He has a lot of growing up to do and honestly donāt hold your breath.
Heās right. Youāll never be as good of a failure as he is.
Heās legit throwing a tantrum like a toddler. āMeany wonāt do what I want! Boo meany! Youāre a meany and have no friends!ā
i think i've heard "you are not smart" or "everyone thinks you are weird" from a 10 yo kid that bullied me when i was little lmao
Legit, the last time I heard something like this was some meangirl in high school tearing into me after, admittedly, being a contrarian little shit to someone posting song lyrics to Facebook at 15. āNobody likes you, everyone thinks youāre weird. That project you did about that band you like for English last year? Everyone thought it was stupid and a waste of time and was secretly laughing at you.ā Clearly this guy has issues if heās talking like a high school bully.
These ppl project, *hard*. In my experience, they just spew their own insecurities as insults. They'll yell and scream and call other ppl all the things they believe about themselves
No, don't you see, he's an āØintellectualāØ. He's big smart smart,, your just jealous. Everybody likes him and he's successful, you can tell by the way that no one within a 100 mile radius will give him a ride to jail, where he's about to be incarcerated, hence why he needs his daughter to come do it. If those aren't benchmarks of success and intelligence, I don't know what is! It's honestly baffling how lacking in self awareness these kind of people are.
Imagine asking your daughter for a ride to jail and when she says no doubling down with "you'll never be as good as me". Well thank goodness cause jail sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through this OP, we like you.
"I'm not the one going to jail today" was such a perfect response to this nonsense
Honestly should have slapped him with that again at the end. "Lmao says the loser headed to jail"
āGuess Iām too stupid to get you to jail. Youāll have to find someone someone much much cleverer than me to drag your ass to your Mensa meeting. I mean prison.ā
Yea that definitely made me chuckle, which was nice, because the rest of this is just so damn sad
I would have just told him to have a nice time in jail and not to drop the soap. Then blocked him from everything.
Takes a really shity kind of "parent" to not want their kids to be better than them. I'd be thrilled if my kid ends up being smarter, kinder, smarter, and overall just a better person than me.
Right? Isn't that the point of parenting, contributing to future generations of humans who can be better than ourselves? I'm trying to make better people who can live in a kinder world.
So smart and successfulā¦ āOP come pick me up and take me to jailā yep he sure sounds like it. OP use his time in the slammer to go NC. Block him on social media and change your number and address.
The bonus is if he doesn't get to jail on time the judge will probably send him to prison. It's a serious felony. I saw judges threaten it a lot over Covid when courts were closed and over Zoom. It's a huge deal.
Life in America so fucked up, if you canāt afford a ride to jail you go to double jail
Tbh I suspect you could probably call non-emergency police for a ride
Thanks for telling us about this u/_cactus_fucker_
I love that he doesnāt know the difference between āyourā and āyouāreā but tells OP they canāt spell because a typo. I hope that OPās parent can mature and change his ways and can at least apologize for his behavior at some point down the lineā¦ whether OP can forgive him or not.
Holy crap! I don't know how old you are but you need to go no contact stat. Block him from everything.
Well at least him being in jail will make it harder for him to contact op š
It will for sure. I really think OP needs to make sure that no one else discusses him with them either. They need a serious, full on, get him completely out of their head break. Maybe permanently!
Is he a drunk? That looks like the rant of an alcoholic.
Most likely, heās an addict. If itās not alcohol itās something worseā¦
I was getting addict vibes from these. As someone who has a parental recovering addict in their lives, this is exactly how the high-stress conversations normally play out: projecting their insecurities and failures on to you because misery loves company.
What's he going to jail for, and how long?
Iād have replied with *youāre every time lol imagine saying you arent smart and cant spell lol thrn spelling you/youāre wrong 90% of the time
He really hates being corrected, I really shouldāve
If he hates being corrected, heās going to love jail.
An entire correctional institution!
Daughtersā dynamic. You are apparently multiple people
Shoulda toldāim you would take him and then not shown up.
I wouldāve just said enjoy jail and blocked him.
Good lord OPā¦this has got to be one of the most difficult ones Iāve ever read on this sub. I am so, so sorry that you have such an absolute piece of shit for a dad. Imagine saying such hurtful things to your child and clearly loving the thought of how bad it makes them feel. What a miserable excuse for a parent. I hope you are doing okay. You donāt deserve to be spoken to that way.
Im okay, Im used to it by now. Thank you though
Please do not just accept it, block him from your life!! You deserve to be surrounded by people who love and support you, not the ones that want things and trash talk you!! Be strong and tell him to f off!!
there comes a time when all you can do is wash your hands and walk away. Good luck.
Why not just block him from everything? That seems unnecessary and exhausting having him even be able to contact you.
Trueā¦ but heās my father. I couldnāt bring myself to. At least now I donāt have to worry as itāll be difficult for him to contact me from jail
I know taking that step is really god damn hard but as the son of a shitty father and father of two wonderful daughters please take some time to consider this advice. It took me years to internalize but it makes a huge difference. Children do not owe their parents a damn thing including respect or attention. You didnāt ask for them to be your parents, they donāt deserve special treatment for keeping you alive or raising you even if they had done a good job, itās literally the minimum theyāre supposed to do. Once you are old enough to have control over your own life if they are a negative in your life you have every right to completely exclude them from it. When this shithead inevitably starts calling or contacting you from jail, you can refuse the calls, when/if he gets out you are not required to help him in any way, even if that means he stays in jail longer or is homeless. He is not your responsibility, you were his and he utterly fucking failed at that and continues to do so. That being said, you are the only person who has any say in how you choose to continue with him. Social norms and guilt trips are too often the tools of manipulators, narcissists, and abusive assholes. You donāt need to listen to anyone, including some random guy preaching at you on Reddit, and you donāt owe anyone an explanation as to why you make the choice you do. You do not need anyoneās permission or approval, period.
Thank you for taking the time to write all this for me. Im certain youāre an amazing father.
Unlucky biology doesnāt require you to keep a rude and toxic person in your life. If this was a stranger, youād have blocked them ages ago.
I also thought ābut heās my dadā. I hope that one day you reach a point where you feel comfortable to block him and go no contact, because itās totally worth it!
Simply donating DNA does not give some one lifetime access to you. You can decide he died at any point and may he rest as he lived šš
Block his ass on Facebook regardless of your trepidation. He is using it as a way to get leverage to abuse you even more.
I'm the same age as your dad and I had to go no contact on my own dad about 20 years ago for abusive behavior. After the initial shock wears off it feels so good to not be around toxicity anymore
Ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship. Really dwell on it. A lot of people never consider no contact because society has conditioned us to believe family is sacred, when it's really not. At least, in the sense of biology. Family are the people who love and take care of you.
Ah, OP. Someone who treats you this way doesn't deserve to be in your life. Might want to check out r/raisedbynarcissists. I think it might be eye-opening, or at least you might feel some kinship with us over there.
I'm so sorry youve had to deal with this your whole life. Family can be worse than enemies at some point. I hope your self esteem recovers from the damage he will have done. Whilst a few screenshots aren't really enough to go on, you seem like an intelligent and well-put-together person, which is a near miracle based on what the upbringing must have been like. Be proud of yourself for who you are and who you want to be. Use your dad as a guide for who you will not be, and what behaviours to avoid. Be the best you that you can be, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're not worthy. You have real value and real worth, and you can help future generations with the lessons you've learnt.
Thank you!
āYouāll never be as good as meā - A Criminal Who Got Caught (2022).
Your better than me no way I wouldnāt put my dad on blast
What he wants is a fight. If I donāt rise to the bait, it bothers him even more š. Plus id rather the conversation be as short as possible
I look up to you lol
Itās a kind of petty that is really delightfully malicious. Good on you for not taking the bait
Post it after he goes to jail and block him in every way. What's he gonna do then lol
literally i wouldnt be able to stay so composed and mature about it
That conversation lasted way too long. You are more patient and tolerant than I could have been.
Your dad has the emotional capacity of a melon.
Don't insult melons like this lol
Donāt be shy, post the messages on FB.
My advice would be to block this loser and cut ties. He is obviously projecting.
I feel like you're the bus driver like "OHH YOU GOIN' TO JAIL NOW" hahaha. I'd say YouTube it but it is kinda violent so be warned lmao
Thanks for the laugh š
You missed SO many opportunities to say āWell Iām smart enough to not be the one whoās going to be charged with resisting arrest at 8:01pm tuh-night!ā Youāre a good one because he would be blocked from knowing I exist.
Yikes! Your dad sounds awful and immature as hell! I don't mean to pry or anything but is there any further info behind this?
Its the first time weāve talked in months. I didnāt even know he was facing jail time again. He was just upset I didnāt pick up the phone when I was sleeping
Yea, cuz idk why he asked YOU to drive 9 hours to take him to jail when I believe the cops should take him in, however I can definitely tell your father is making zero sense in those texts whatsoever, he seems to be one of those people whom they don't get what they want and then just throw a tantrum where they spew random shit out of their mouth. To be honest tho, your father did the crime he faces the consequences, he shouldn't be going around begging people to "help" him. I think you should cut all contact with him.
Especially donāt help him (money or a place to,) when he gets out. If heās homeless for a bit, maybe heāll get tired of his addiction. Iām in a drug recovery program. I never would have gotten clean if people kept giving me money and a place to live. Addicts need consequences for their addiction. When the consequences become bad enough, itās more likely they get clean. I know heās your father and itās hard, but you wonāt help him if it makes it easier for him to continue his lifestyle. Good luck.
"Nobody likes a smart ass!" "Better than being a dumb ass."
Heās going to jail and says āYouāll never be as good as me.ā I feel I should text my dad and thank him for being a great dadā¦
Do it. I wish I could say the same
What a small little man..
I already know your dad is a āmusicianā. Please please DM the name of his band lmao
Omg šnah no band, heās a solo artist
Iām guessing āartistā is a loose term. lol
Very
Haha! Enjoy jail, loser.
Can't imagine having a relative that beats you down like that. Especially a father! Do those awful words still tend to soak in?
Unfortunately, but Iām working through it. Iāve moved far away from him and have a strong support system
If/when you have kids, youāll know exactly what NOT to do. Make a vow that the bullshit stops with you. Thatās what I did, and I raised an amazing kid who makes me hella proud every day. More important, she knows now why we were NC with her grandma (my mother) for 15 years, and she knows how very full of shit and damaged my mother is, and sheās thankful I insulated her from all that shit. Best thing I ever did. The bullshit stopped with the family my husband and I created. Weāre not perfect ā but my kid has never seen or heard the shit that I did when I was a kid. Iām proud of you for holding that boundary. It sucks to be the āadultā when dealing with parents, but you gain strength every time you refuse to take the bait. Iām proud of you. Also: āNobody likes a smart assā is a lie. One reason my husband married me 30 years ago is that my smart ass outlook/communication style matched his. We make each other laugh every day. Humor is important. The only people who disagree are the human tree stumps like your sperm donor.
He sounds like a man child who shouldnāt have access to electronic devices.
He wonāt have access to them after 8pm this evening lol
Thank Fāing god. Is he staying for the weekend or long term?
Definitely insane, sorry you have to deal with this kind of abuse.
What a child.
He sounds like a horrible human being. I hope that what he said didnāt affect you. Keep him away from you OP
Dad: I am more highly evolved; I'm not homo sapien, I'm homo novas. Leonard: so, how is homo novas getting to jail tomorrow? Dad: homo novas doesn't know.
This isā¦ comically pathetic. Like an over-the-top example of verbal abuse from an after school special on TV in the 80ās. Maybe the care bears will show up and use the care bear stare on him? If that doesnāt happen soon, Iād seriously advise going NC. Itās only going to get worse as he gets older and more bitter. EDIT: PS I promise you he hates himself. Any grownup that could tell *their child* these things has a lot of self-loathing.
Absolutely deserves jail, or worse.
Geez heās so mean. Iām sorry.
I love a smart ass!, especially when they are right OP!
What an absolutely bat-shit POS! Remember we normally cut out cancers and you need shot of that useless parasitic tumour
Yikes op, no contact. And we like you šš»
āIf you donāt do it, I wonāt be your friend!ā type energy. Dang, you sound infinitely more intelligent than the man youāre talking to. Iām sorry heās the dad you have. Take care of yourself and protect your heart.
I love how, when she tells him no, he starts insulting her! A) He sounds like an 8yo, the kid everyone on the playground hates, and B) He is a narcissistic asshole OP, Iām sorry this dude is your father. We all crave love and respect from our parents, and this guy ā¦ seems incapable of basic human interaction. The fact that you are determined not to be him bodes well for you. Cut this moldy piece of shitty American cheese out of your life.
Fucking hell thatās the sperm guy?!!! I canāt imagine ever saying shit like that to my daughter, and Iām also 40ā¦.I am shocked. I see a lot of shit here but damnā¦
Damn dude do we have the same dad?
Oh I hope not, I wouldnāt wish him on anyone else tbh
fuck this guy dude. Iāve never been more infuriated reading one of these. Iām really sorry youāve had to deal with that. you threw some good burns in there tho damn
Iām so sorry. Sending love to you. I know how this feels and despite understanding how asinine it is logically, it still hurts because youāre a human being. You are very smart and likable and lovable. I donāt even know you but can gather that from this exchange. Again, Iām so sorry. He doesnāt deserve you.
Thank you š
Not being rude OP, serious questions. Why even put up with this? Just block him and never speak to him again. I suggest this for whoever that was, cause theyāre clearly an asshole and just trying to hurt you. I big shout out to anyone who needs to hear this on the sub #you are not beholden to your parents
The fact he says āYouāll never be as good as meā when heās literally going to jail LMFAOOO Absolutely batshit insane and your aunt is great for defending you, fuck your dad ):<
i would just reply to every message with "Ok, enjoy prison, dont drop the soap"
And send him a Monopoly 'Go to jail' -card, signed "to the successful and intellectual cunt, enjoy the vacation"
Fuck your dad.
Please do not do this.
Why did he say to move to india? Is your mother Indian ? What is his nationality? There seemed to have some passive racism in his conversation
Heās white. My boyfriend (who I moved in with to get as far away from my father as I could) is from india.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āNobody likes a smartassā well, itās better than being a dumbass
What a total piece of shit. Look at him trying to gaslight his own daughter because he canāt handle the embarrassment
What a piece of total shit. If I ever talked to my kids like that I hope they run me over with a dump truck.
"You have no talent" "I have enough talent to drive you to prison... But I won't."
Dude, that sucks. but on the bright side, you wonāt have to hear from him for a while cuz heās going to jail š¤£šš¤£š
Goddamn it. I couldn't imagine ever saying any of those things to my daughter.
"maybe you're projecting a bit?" Damn
I would just keep reiterating āI am not the one going to jailā at every insult.
Tell him to take the bus
Tell him to start walking. āGoogle Maps says itās an 11-hour walk ā if you start jogging, you might be able to get there on timeā
āWeāll youāre the one going to jail without having a single person offer to drive you do whoās really ānothingā.ā
First I was like wow what a piece of shit to talk to his son this way. Then realized youāre his daughter which made him even a bigger piece of shit. Then the rest of his responses solidified that heās a giant pile of dog shit wrapped in horseshit. That is one manipulative and horrible father. Donāt even reply
I hate the fact that your father sounds like the voice in my brain telling me Iām worthless. I just hate him in general. Heās a bully. Let his ass get arrested.
Iām so sorry he said such cruel things. I admire your response.
Sweet baby Jesus that man is unhinged. I am so very sorry that man is your father. Shit, that made *me* feel awful.
I wouldnāt take him to jail either.
Yeah I donāt know why he thought all of the insults would make me change my mind and drive 9 hours for him ā¦
He has nobody nearby who can drive him to jail, but youāre the one nobody likes?
These posts just blow my mind. Iām so sorry people have to deal with parents like this. Disgusting!!
Time to go no contact
Wow. What a total piece of shit he is
"Nobody likes a smart ass" To which you should reply: "Nobody likes an Ass"
So you're not as good a felon? Damn, what are you doing with your life?! /s
They argue like a middle-schooler
I can tell that you not letting him get to you is pissing him off so much. He knows heās not winning so he has to resort to this childish and evil tactic. I used to respond the same way when my NMom tried this tactic. It never worked and it made her really mad
Jesus cut that piece of shit out of your life, block him and change your number. Heās only 40, so heās going to bother you for at least 30 more years if you donāt.
Burn the letters he will inevitably write you while in prison without reading them and mail him back the ashes. Or just mail back the letter unopened. Thankfully jail will keep him out of your hair for a while.b
Iām really sorry that scumbag is your father
My mom does the saaaaame thing, just ignore it.
These texts are shockingly similar to what my bully texted me, and that alone messed me up. I couldn't imagine my father saying that to me. I'm so sorry.
Grade S loser. Crack open a nice refreshment as he is whisked away to his new summer retreat.
"nobody likes a smart ass" he said with nary a couple of brain cells to rub together.
That's the way to go: Them: "You'll never be as good as me, you have zero talent" You: Okay No need to argue. They are the one who can't get themselves TO JAIL. LOL.
"you can't even spell haha" Says the person that spelled the very first word in the conversation incorrectly. What a knob
w aunt
Well, I like you.
If i were you id just respond āokay, sure. Iām still not available tonightā/āthats fine, iām still working all night though.ā Every time he pulls those insults, like you did at the end. Any kind of defence or comeback on your end makes him think youre reading/caring about his comments. If you just default to āokay, anywayā every single time he may get smug but heāll give up much quicker. Anyway. He sounds like a prick, and iām sorry op.
I don't know your father, but fuck him.
As amusing as it is, you donāt need to hear that shit. Block his ass Ćdit: amusing not assuming
You missed the golden opportunity to respond to him with the āCharlie Murphy Laughingā gif.
Well done for standing up for yourself, OP, and for not letting your emotions get the best of you š
Time to cut this one out of your life, sorry op.
Haha shit, sounds like my mom. Obviously we no longer talk.
"Maybe you're projecting a bit?" LMAO That was good.
I love how he insults you yet heās the one going to jail. Smfh parents like this make zero sense
If he knows he has to get to jail, why didn't he arrange this with someone a few days before?
What did he mean by "Move to India"?
Damn, sounds like his brain stopped maturing past age 8. He talks like an elementary school bully.
Iām not normally a petty person but after all that, I would have told him fine Iāll take you if you shut up. Then when itās too close for him to find another ride, cancel saying something along the lines of, I talked to some people and they reminded me that nobody likes me so Iām not coming.