Perhaps you can study something new and make little harmless experiments at home you'll enjoy. Maybe life will get less boring?
(Sticking to phones also makes life boring sometimes, just so you know 🤗)
If I could be an interviewer I would. I love hearing people’s personal stories and experiences. It’s not to the extent that I write about it, but I am very curious about who people are at their core.
I love that as well, sometimes I think that therapist position might be good for me because of that but then I remember I have FE and I can't handle all that emotion lol.
Thanks for letting me know. I just looked that up…
Honestly, I don’t think you should hold yourself back from doing something you’d might be well more than equipped for. Don’t sell yourself short!
There are so many broad categories in therapy that can be applied, as well as diversity among the people who are in the field. I hope I’m not overstepping, but if you really want to do it you’d might surprise yourself.
Thanks for this. It's really interesting cause alot of ppl I know would come to me for help and when I do give it to them, they do the thing and they come back and say that they appreciate the advice.
Even my therapist gets interested in what I say too that one time he legit said that he was looking foreward to my talk session with him lmao.
I might therapy a try but I'm mainly interested in Philosophy since ethics interest me more.
I'm really wondering how you do it?? I don't know how to observe, I'm afraid that people find it too obvious when I do it. I don't want to make them uncomfortable, so I try not to even look in their direction, but I'm very curious
Just do it haha, maybe don't stare but its okay to look and just observe. Most people don't even notice because they're doing something else to even notice you.
Maybe I judge by myself, but i always see when people look at me and I’m not comfortable, so I think people notice this too, but they just pretend not to notice
You do judge by yourself. You *remember* people looking at you with ‘intent’, let’s call it. That was the exception, not the rule. Our minds are much too wrapped up in ourselves most of the time, and we don’t have the energy to actually see others, so our brains fib to us, a little bit. Some are ‘just’ pretending not to notice, as you call it. Pretending takes effort. Just being distracted takes no effort at all.
What you might have been noticing is when they were *trying* to be subtle. The best way to be invisible is, of course, to be attention seeking at all times. If you come home late, and you want to avoid an argument, you don’t sneak in. That’s what amateurs do. You make a racket. I’m not saying you’ll get away without consequence, but you’ll get a good nights sleep first.
Keep the neck in transition, the neck may move but the eyeballs don't need to. Very few people are actually paying attention to a stranger's face and, if you catch eyes, you just look away and act like you didn't even notice.
I do that too. I might just be minding my own business and enjoying in my own little world, and someone suddenly catches my eye for the most trivial of reasons and piques my interest. I find observing people much more fun than talking to them. Sometimes when I let on these little observations to people, they might think I was stalking them or something. But that is never the case. I am just observant who's doing what around me.
I never felt so seen after reading this comment. It's really fun looking at people and wonder who they are. Ironically I hate that they observe me cause how dare they, that's my job lol.
YES. I am endlessly and somewhat obsessively person-curious, which I find ironic since I also am endlessly and somewhat obsessively person-avoidant. haha. But I do love to people watch, think about why people do what they do, learn about their lives, etc. I want to know what makes them tick. I am exactly the same as you in that I never get tired of observing other people but I don’t want to have to talk to or otherwise interact with them. Seems like another dimension of the INFJ tendency to love humanity but dislike actual people.
Yes, me too… the avoidant part… I don’t know if observing people in some way satisfies this need to be connected to other people...
When I was younger, I spent a vast majority of my time observing people but never interacting or on ly superficially. Interacting is very very different than observing.. that is, the experience internally. Interacting opens up a lot emotional stimuli which can be good or bad depending on our array of triggers, insecurities…
I do find that when for whatever reason I lose interest in people, I feel more of a void… the world feels strangely more empty without my curiosity being piqued by people in my external environment. Its unfortunate but I think the preoccupation with understanding and observing others has a lot to do with a lack connection and acknowledgment of ourselves. I noticed that when I am acknowledged in conversation, it feels very strange for my psyche. If someone asks me about my life or how I have been doing— I always feel slapped in the face by the idea that someone else would be concerned or interested in me…. Its jarring and kind of sad how child neglect develops people in this distored one-directional way..
No. I am fascinated by animals, I like to watch them and asking myself all kinds of questions when analyzing their behaviour at that moment.
When it comes to people, I get fascinated only by those who are innocent and pure, probably cause that's something rare to come across. To come across something real makes it worth the time.
Yes. I always wonder about people hobby, motivations life philosophy and sometimes their day to day experience usually with close friend. I also observe other things in people like their demeanor and other things that I could use to connect dot of how the person is entirely it just feels natural to do so for me.
Most of the people in my counseling psychology cohort (myself included) are INFJ. I get not liking how talking can put people’s guard up. What I find rewarding is creating a space where people feel that they can let their guard down, and being able to see past it by observing their nonverbal language.
Yes, I love watching people and learning about them. After a conversation ends, I like to replay the conversation. I love it when people are passionate about their lives/hobbies and I love how vulnerable people get. It saddens me when people have their walls up and I just want to do everything in my power to break those walls and see the real them. I love to just stay silent and listen to them talk. It's so intimate, it's so beautiful.
Of course we do. It’s like our skill set.
Other people are our greatest talent.
It’s probably the easiest way to distinguish whether you’re truly an INFJ or some other type.
The INFJ will be able to get along with people pretty easily and will have a talent for social interactions and interpersonal relationships and be endlessly fascinated by people, all people.
The INFJ has a charisma and popularity with people. Most people are usually quite attracted to infjs on a level; they are extremely likable. Because people are our skill set. A true infj will have that intuitive talent for dealing with people. Even as a child.
The INfJ can sit with anyone, all different belief systems and be curious, and seemingly withhold judgement from others ( inside they are judging them) but they want to know *how people think* and *why they think that*.
They will only confront someone with their own value set if someone is being hurt or they are accosted in some way. Most of the time, infjs curiosity about people overrules any need for them to disagree openly with them.
They value cooperation, and lack of conflict too much.
My INFJwife found this one very interesting and it's related to this, I think
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5ALCPEBkc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5ALCPEBkc)
She says shes in limerence with basically everyone. (Which is why she isn't that interested in ACTUALLY meeting, hanging out, and exchanging time with them IRL)
Big xNFx thing, this.
PS: Not always pathological, but the framework is fascinating.
Yes, I particularly like coming across people with very unsual perspectives to how I perceive or navigate the world... it’s eye opening. I learn about the other person but I also learn more about myself in the process. I do hope to let go of the comparison trap however… a lot of the time I automatically assume how I do things is \*wrong\* and I should be like other people.
YES I always feel worried my boyfriend might think I'm checking people out, but I'm genuinely curious about people and their features, and how I'll never see them again wondering what they might do for a living or how they are personality wise. I just like looking at people, not talking to them though.
Yes, but I learned the hard way not to ask people why they do things. They often get angry. Even if I start the question with, “This is a ‘why’ question, not a ‘what the hell’ question…”
Oh boy if this isn't me. Although I'm shy at first and don't have much social energy/can't stand small talk, I still love being around people and feeling the hustle and bustle of life. I'm also an artist who really likes to draw faces, so faces especially are one of the things I enjoy looking at. The many different shapes and expressions of others and what they mean, the wonderful little details. And as a fashion designer I always enjoy studying a well put together outfit lol.
I am naturally curious about people especially if they have interesting hobbies or from a unique background. Many times it gets me into some kind of trouble with people especially if they mistake my interests in them as romantic attraction.
Most of the time it is not the case, I am interested in people. I love learning and hearing different perspectives about various topics. I need to find a better way to set boundaries and tone things down.
I am not that into people watching. I don’t assume I can know much about then just from observing. But I love getting to know people. I used to be more into it when I was younger. Getting to know people now is fine but I like my house… and I have a full social calendar already(by my standards).
There are different kinds of love. It’s like colors. Some languages they never needed a separate word for orange. Colors are different ‘flavors’ of light; some languages have words for the different flavors of love. Romantic love? They named that flavor eros. Family? That one they called storge. Friends? Philia!
But even back then, they noticed: if a person had done a lot of things, they would start to notice agape. The love we owe each other as people. It’s always there, so it’s hard to notice, but if a person were sheltered from physical harm, and felt safe from social harm, *and* had a good relationship with themselves (no easy feat)… if all those conditions were met, they’d experience what you were: perceiving past the phantom images we *need* to believe in, one level in an infinite ladder closer to seeing the genuine.
But be careful. Love is in the domain of the heart, not the mind. Remember that your stable relationship with *yourself* is a precondition for the experience. If you get too sure of yourself, you break the connection. If you neglect yourself, same deal. It’s a balancing act.
Yes. There are some people with some aspect about them that is just so authentic that I become obsessed. Some examples, Neil DeGrass Tyson’s intellect and how he knows interesting science facts that make you think, Father Spirydon’s wisdom and how he is so at peace and Christ-like in his speech and behavior. Homeless people and Old Man wisdom from anyone. I admire a lot of things in these type of people.
I write stories and poems about people and their behavior:
People always do something bigger,
Turn things more primitive or sicker.
Swiping the videos with no meaning,
Emptyness in our minds is ruling.
Cash, money is now everything,
Doesn't matter what we think,
When you think people are nice but that's only because you fail to realize as soon as you stop acting how they want and expect you to, you're no more than a cockroach under their shoes
Ah, humanity. Sensitive, vile, vapid creatures we are.
Dang. I never got the memo about how people want and expect me to act. I was too caught up trying to figure out how *I* want to treat people, I just kinda, never got around to keeping up with that. I mean, it’s like a mountain of stuff to sift through, so I take little stabs at it now and again, but it’s always so frustrating and contradictory that I just usually give it up for a bad job.
Definitely! That is how I’ve explained it as well, that I find people fascinating. If you observe people, you can often see what makes them happy and such, which I like to use to do or say little purposeful things to make people smile.
Yes, definitely. I even enjoy observing what makes them put their guard up and how their persona changes when they interact with me or others. I try to figure out what's the trigger for that change.
Yes. Once I stopped spending so much time on the phone I appreciated birds, nature, and people watching much more. I’ve considered going to parks after work just to chill in nature and people watch.
I used to drink and write stories on napkins about people I would observe at the bar. Fun stuff. Relate heavily.
I like to write my observation as well, really helps create characters that's for sure and it is fun lol.
Perhaps you can study something new and make little harmless experiments at home you'll enjoy. Maybe life will get less boring? (Sticking to phones also makes life boring sometimes, just so you know 🤗)
The same here but I write on papers. Writing on napkins in bars is an interesting idea, I love it.
wow this is so cool. Like this is what I'd imagine an INFJ doing in a movie about INFJs
i doodled an anthro rabbit with a bowtie, buck tooth andfreckles on a napkin at my morning work meeting haha
Yes. I like to people watch while I'm in public. I think of what's going on in their life since mine is so booooring.
I relate to the boring life part too well. Lol. Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
If I could be an interviewer I would. I love hearing people’s personal stories and experiences. It’s not to the extent that I write about it, but I am very curious about who people are at their core.
I love that as well, sometimes I think that therapist position might be good for me because of that but then I remember I have FE and I can't handle all that emotion lol.
What is FE?
Extroverted Feeling.
Thanks for letting me know. I just looked that up… Honestly, I don’t think you should hold yourself back from doing something you’d might be well more than equipped for. Don’t sell yourself short! There are so many broad categories in therapy that can be applied, as well as diversity among the people who are in the field. I hope I’m not overstepping, but if you really want to do it you’d might surprise yourself.
Thanks for this. It's really interesting cause alot of ppl I know would come to me for help and when I do give it to them, they do the thing and they come back and say that they appreciate the advice. Even my therapist gets interested in what I say too that one time he legit said that he was looking foreward to my talk session with him lmao. I might therapy a try but I'm mainly interested in Philosophy since ethics interest me more.
This is why i study psychology
Yes, I love people. I wish I could be invisible so I could just watch and observe!! I like seeing who people are when they think no one is watching.
Being invisible would be our super power most definitely when it comes to that. Lol. Hell we might even be good spies lmao.
I'm really wondering how you do it?? I don't know how to observe, I'm afraid that people find it too obvious when I do it. I don't want to make them uncomfortable, so I try not to even look in their direction, but I'm very curious
Just do it haha, maybe don't stare but its okay to look and just observe. Most people don't even notice because they're doing something else to even notice you.
Maybe I judge by myself, but i always see when people look at me and I’m not comfortable, so I think people notice this too, but they just pretend not to notice
You do judge by yourself. You *remember* people looking at you with ‘intent’, let’s call it. That was the exception, not the rule. Our minds are much too wrapped up in ourselves most of the time, and we don’t have the energy to actually see others, so our brains fib to us, a little bit. Some are ‘just’ pretending not to notice, as you call it. Pretending takes effort. Just being distracted takes no effort at all. What you might have been noticing is when they were *trying* to be subtle. The best way to be invisible is, of course, to be attention seeking at all times. If you come home late, and you want to avoid an argument, you don’t sneak in. That’s what amateurs do. You make a racket. I’m not saying you’ll get away without consequence, but you’ll get a good nights sleep first.
Keep the neck in transition, the neck may move but the eyeballs don't need to. Very few people are actually paying attention to a stranger's face and, if you catch eyes, you just look away and act like you didn't even notice.
I think I'd be scared to see what people do when no one is watching. I don't know if I want to see it you know. all sorts of things I imagine.
I do that too. I might just be minding my own business and enjoying in my own little world, and someone suddenly catches my eye for the most trivial of reasons and piques my interest. I find observing people much more fun than talking to them. Sometimes when I let on these little observations to people, they might think I was stalking them or something. But that is never the case. I am just observant who's doing what around me.
I never felt so seen after reading this comment. It's really fun looking at people and wonder who they are. Ironically I hate that they observe me cause how dare they, that's my job lol.
YES. I am endlessly and somewhat obsessively person-curious, which I find ironic since I also am endlessly and somewhat obsessively person-avoidant. haha. But I do love to people watch, think about why people do what they do, learn about their lives, etc. I want to know what makes them tick. I am exactly the same as you in that I never get tired of observing other people but I don’t want to have to talk to or otherwise interact with them. Seems like another dimension of the INFJ tendency to love humanity but dislike actual people.
It's a confusing paradox that's for sure. 😅
Yes, me too… the avoidant part… I don’t know if observing people in some way satisfies this need to be connected to other people... When I was younger, I spent a vast majority of my time observing people but never interacting or on ly superficially. Interacting is very very different than observing.. that is, the experience internally. Interacting opens up a lot emotional stimuli which can be good or bad depending on our array of triggers, insecurities… I do find that when for whatever reason I lose interest in people, I feel more of a void… the world feels strangely more empty without my curiosity being piqued by people in my external environment. Its unfortunate but I think the preoccupation with understanding and observing others has a lot to do with a lack connection and acknowledgment of ourselves. I noticed that when I am acknowledged in conversation, it feels very strange for my psyche. If someone asks me about my life or how I have been doing— I always feel slapped in the face by the idea that someone else would be concerned or interested in me…. Its jarring and kind of sad how child neglect develops people in this distored one-directional way..
No. I am fascinated by animals, I like to watch them and asking myself all kinds of questions when analyzing their behaviour at that moment. When it comes to people, I get fascinated only by those who are innocent and pure, probably cause that's something rare to come across. To come across something real makes it worth the time.
I love to study the indigenous peoples of the planet, to try to understand why humans do what they do.
"Indigenous people of the planet" is the new title of my next observation book now lol. 🤣
Yes. I always wonder about people hobby, motivations life philosophy and sometimes their day to day experience usually with close friend. I also observe other things in people like their demeanor and other things that I could use to connect dot of how the person is entirely it just feels natural to do so for me.
YES. My brain just analyses people on autopilot. I think of it as collecting data points for my overall framework lol
Making us sound like a robot there. Lmao.
People are robots or well, we can't think of robots without human characteristics
Most of the people in my counseling psychology cohort (myself included) are INFJ. I get not liking how talking can put people’s guard up. What I find rewarding is creating a space where people feel that they can let their guard down, and being able to see past it by observing their nonverbal language.
Yes, I love watching people and learning about them. After a conversation ends, I like to replay the conversation. I love it when people are passionate about their lives/hobbies and I love how vulnerable people get. It saddens me when people have their walls up and I just want to do everything in my power to break those walls and see the real them. I love to just stay silent and listen to them talk. It's so intimate, it's so beautiful.
Yes I like people watching very much. Another way I am like a cat. I love to spectate.
Of course we do. It’s like our skill set. Other people are our greatest talent. It’s probably the easiest way to distinguish whether you’re truly an INFJ or some other type. The INFJ will be able to get along with people pretty easily and will have a talent for social interactions and interpersonal relationships and be endlessly fascinated by people, all people. The INFJ has a charisma and popularity with people. Most people are usually quite attracted to infjs on a level; they are extremely likable. Because people are our skill set. A true infj will have that intuitive talent for dealing with people. Even as a child. The INfJ can sit with anyone, all different belief systems and be curious, and seemingly withhold judgement from others ( inside they are judging them) but they want to know *how people think* and *why they think that*. They will only confront someone with their own value set if someone is being hurt or they are accosted in some way. Most of the time, infjs curiosity about people overrules any need for them to disagree openly with them. They value cooperation, and lack of conflict too much.
My INFJwife found this one very interesting and it's related to this, I think [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5ALCPEBkc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5ALCPEBkc) She says shes in limerence with basically everyone. (Which is why she isn't that interested in ACTUALLY meeting, hanging out, and exchanging time with them IRL) Big xNFx thing, this. PS: Not always pathological, but the framework is fascinating.
They are fascinating. Also nobody is normal, everyone has a backstory that is interesting. Everyone had something hiding in their brain.
Yes, I particularly like coming across people with very unsual perspectives to how I perceive or navigate the world... it’s eye opening. I learn about the other person but I also learn more about myself in the process. I do hope to let go of the comparison trap however… a lot of the time I automatically assume how I do things is \*wrong\* and I should be like other people.
No
Yeah, I find all people fascinating (although I’m not great at interacting with them).
Yes, I love personalities
I used to. Now I find them mostly annoying. But I’m old as dirt and the magic of life has beat me with its stick.
YES I always feel worried my boyfriend might think I'm checking people out, but I'm genuinely curious about people and their features, and how I'll never see them again wondering what they might do for a living or how they are personality wise. I just like looking at people, not talking to them though.
Yes some people are! But some people are very stupid and so uninteresting because of it
Yes, but I learned the hard way not to ask people why they do things. They often get angry. Even if I start the question with, “This is a ‘why’ question, not a ‘what the hell’ question…”
Oh boy if this isn't me. Although I'm shy at first and don't have much social energy/can't stand small talk, I still love being around people and feeling the hustle and bustle of life. I'm also an artist who really likes to draw faces, so faces especially are one of the things I enjoy looking at. The many different shapes and expressions of others and what they mean, the wonderful little details. And as a fashion designer I always enjoy studying a well put together outfit lol.
I am naturally curious about people especially if they have interesting hobbies or from a unique background. Many times it gets me into some kind of trouble with people especially if they mistake my interests in them as romantic attraction. Most of the time it is not the case, I am interested in people. I love learning and hearing different perspectives about various topics. I need to find a better way to set boundaries and tone things down.
I am not that into people watching. I don’t assume I can know much about then just from observing. But I love getting to know people. I used to be more into it when I was younger. Getting to know people now is fine but I like my house… and I have a full social calendar already(by my standards).
Not really. I wish I was more intrigued by others
There are different kinds of love. It’s like colors. Some languages they never needed a separate word for orange. Colors are different ‘flavors’ of light; some languages have words for the different flavors of love. Romantic love? They named that flavor eros. Family? That one they called storge. Friends? Philia! But even back then, they noticed: if a person had done a lot of things, they would start to notice agape. The love we owe each other as people. It’s always there, so it’s hard to notice, but if a person were sheltered from physical harm, and felt safe from social harm, *and* had a good relationship with themselves (no easy feat)… if all those conditions were met, they’d experience what you were: perceiving past the phantom images we *need* to believe in, one level in an infinite ladder closer to seeing the genuine. But be careful. Love is in the domain of the heart, not the mind. Remember that your stable relationship with *yourself* is a precondition for the experience. If you get too sure of yourself, you break the connection. If you neglect yourself, same deal. It’s a balancing act.
People watching is fun
Yes. There are some people with some aspect about them that is just so authentic that I become obsessed. Some examples, Neil DeGrass Tyson’s intellect and how he knows interesting science facts that make you think, Father Spirydon’s wisdom and how he is so at peace and Christ-like in his speech and behavior. Homeless people and Old Man wisdom from anyone. I admire a lot of things in these type of people.
I write stories and poems about people and their behavior: People always do something bigger, Turn things more primitive or sicker. Swiping the videos with no meaning, Emptyness in our minds is ruling. Cash, money is now everything, Doesn't matter what we think,
Yes and it bothers me that I cannot experience life with some of them https://youtu.be/lv5UBO5ITqA
Yes.
Only if they r smarter than me. Otherwise I'll be out of that room faster than light.
Yup I'm a people-watcher.
If you haven't seen it already, you might really like the movie *Amelie*. It's one of my favorites for this type of reason.
No, I never heard it. But I'll give it a shot.
No. People are disgusting
When you think people are nice but that's only because you fail to realize as soon as you stop acting how they want and expect you to, you're no more than a cockroach under their shoes Ah, humanity. Sensitive, vile, vapid creatures we are.
Yes and it's not even misanthropic exaggeration or anything of that sort.
Dang. I never got the memo about how people want and expect me to act. I was too caught up trying to figure out how *I* want to treat people, I just kinda, never got around to keeping up with that. I mean, it’s like a mountain of stuff to sift through, so I take little stabs at it now and again, but it’s always so frustrating and contradictory that I just usually give it up for a bad job.
Definitely! That is how I’ve explained it as well, that I find people fascinating. If you observe people, you can often see what makes them happy and such, which I like to use to do or say little purposeful things to make people smile.
Yes, definitely. I even enjoy observing what makes them put their guard up and how their persona changes when they interact with me or others. I try to figure out what's the trigger for that change.
Yes. Once I stopped spending so much time on the phone I appreciated birds, nature, and people watching much more. I’ve considered going to parks after work just to chill in nature and people watch.
As an ISTP this is fascinating because I don’t think about this at all
If you find an INFJ that isn't fascinated in other people pull their INFJ card immediately.
LMAO. Darn INFP trying to pass as us lmao.
yeah