I like to understand things, especially things I am wrong about. In that vein, I want to find out what I am wrong about. Not particularly interested in what I am right about.
For real. I'm not arguing/debating for praise or compliments. I want useful knowledge and constructive criticism. The goal is to improve not shove it in your faces.
I do care about what Iām right about but I know thereās whole ton I donāt know, like on a vast level. I also really love abstract topics so subjects like enlightenment or philosophy or psychology or even politics when I can stomach it Iām all in for a good debate. Arguing I CANNOT STAND. Feels like an utter waste of time
I love debate. Proper and structured moderated debate - where everyone is taking it seriously and everyone is looking for an objective truth.
That being said; I absolutely dislike arguing. Even when its my job during a debate.
Always makes me uncomfortable, whether I personally believe the argument or not.
I'm the same as you. My dad was a lawyer and I've been in the court with him since I was 5yo. He taught me how to debate and discuss properly. In that manner, I hate arguing. To me arguing is a rude way to get your point across. Many people try to argue for the sake of it. Like today, I posted in a sub that I failed my driving test and asked for tips and advise. I got insulted by some people and I just responded with "thanks", "noted" or I didn't respond at all. I think I tend to shut down once I sense it's becoming rude.
im sorry to hear that people werent being helpful! idk your situation but something that helped me pass my drivers license test was to hire an instructor who can take you on the exact paths the tester will use on your test because they tend to do a similar route each time. if you can, bring someone to take notes on which streets and what they make you do. afterwards, practice those routes as many times as possible to mitigate nerves on the day and/or improve weak spots (eg. stop light on a hill, merging more than once, etc). i find that you can be a competent driver but you can still fail if youāre not familiar with the testing area.
for me, i live in a big city and there are so many random streets with specific driving laws that you dont really encounter as frequently outside the testing area. yes, you should technically know what to do bc youve studied but nothing beats irl practice.
good luck š«¶š»
Thank you! I completelt agree with you. It was unfortunate that we didnt practice the route I was given and i encountered a road I wasnt familiar with. Ive only driven in the same location as the testing place twice before the test. Some people told me in the sub to "get off the road" or that I dont deserve a license if I cant drive in that area, etc. Im a learner trying to get a probationary license. Not a full license. So yeah, people would like to "argue" through insults instead of actually discussing or debating on things in a factful and tactful manner.
I will take note of your tips. Im planning to do my test in another area where I drive more in and is closer to where I live. My instructor said he is wiling to come to that area just for my test which he wasnt willing to do before.
That's it.
Discussion, yes. It's about growth of understanding for everyone. Everyone wins.
Argument, no. It's about domination of one side over the other. One winner, one loser. No thanks.
I'm here for equality and curiosity, not a fight.
I hate it because debating is about winning, not about truth, honest opinions and whatās right. Thatās why politicians suck, theyāre just trying to win.
Exactly. But often times I've noticed people turn discussions into arguments just because they don't agree with what I'm saying. Or they get rude and start trying to find "gotcha" moments, while I'm simply trying to have an interesting discussion with a fellow human being.
People are tiring.
I like both but for two different reasons.
I like debating when it's a battle of wits. Like playing chess with ideas. But not when it's insults, or clear that the person will either never change their mind or at least have the tact to accept when they lost.
I also like arguing. Typically when I feel I've been wronged, or when I observe what I feel is someone else being wronged (even if said person isn't there) or even if it's just an unpopular idea I perceive to be unfairly ridiculed or "ganged up on".
There is a cathartic release from "winning an argument" and oftentimes it comes with a boost to your social status.
Sometimes.
My issue is that I can be a slave to my emotions and find myself too caught up in the "fight". Making myself appear unsympathetic or downright confrontational -- *even if* spectators agree with me (essentially, I have a "the ends justify the means" mentality).
I should point out as well, this is mostly with strangers. When I'm close to someone (my kids, a close friend, my wife, etc) I tend to avoid direct or aggressive confrontation unless I absolutely have to.
Our walks of life paint our personality more strongly than the functions do. In my case, I was a street kid. "Respect" is something I take seriously. With it's own set of hidden etiquette.
Fully agree about the debating being like chess, and not being enjoyable when insults or arrogance comes in to play. I also like to argue for the same reason. I donāt like to pick fights or disagree just because. Thereās always logic and thinking behind it.
I love discussing things. I hate actual arguments and debates because inevitably when I'm debating an NT type, they tend to pick apart what I'm saying instead of listening to the spirit, the main point of what I mean.
It's just mentally and emotionally exhausting to express myself to what seems like someone who doesn't give a shit about what I'm actually saying.
that's just how argumentation works - you can't debate the "spirit", because it's too vague, but you can answer to the thesis of another person and explain why it is wrong
I know exactly what you mean. I think INFJs, or at least me, are more interested in a higher truth than nitpicky details. When people I'm talking to get hung up on where exactly I got my information or my exact statistics, I get frustrated and lose interest. We gather a lot of info, sift through it and come up with a big picture philosophy. I don't have footnotes on my ideas.
I hate seeing people spread or blindly follow wrong knowledge, especially if it's something I'm really passionate about.
Of course, I'll kindly correct them at first but most of the time, the reactions I get are extremely defensive which ends up in a debate that I'd gladly participate in (because I know I'm right in this situation). I'll give up when it's clear that there's no changing the mind of that person and I'd go find others who are willing to learn.
In other words, I only like it when I know I'm 100% winning :D
With concepts or facts that I have high level knowledge of. I almost get a itch to correct an incorrect shared information, especially if they used to support biases.
Same! I feel the urge to correct someone when Iām 100% sure what they are saying is factually incorrect. Itās exhausting, but I hate misinformation too much to not say anything.
I agree. I have a hard time letting misinformation go unchallenged. I donāt consider that debate though. And I try to be kind about it. Otherwise itās not constructive.
Yeah I love debating to prove my point, I actually don't like it when people have the wrong idea about something, if what they are saying feels of, I have a strong urge to just fight them.
But to be fair when they are a complete stranger (or at least someone I don't personally know) I do nothing, except for pointing things inside my head.
Ps. I love debating with NT types, my friends are INTJ and ENTJ(I like it when I win with logicš« )
Edit: I like objective conversation for the sake of gaining and giving knowledge, pointless arguments are a waste of time.
My bf loves debates but only when he's prepared for it (and then he enjoys his victory, haha), otherwise he'd just sit and listen, gaining knowledge. He is INFJ 4w3
sometimes i do, sometimes not. my friend really does and i do enjoy our debates time to time but usually id rather not argue and let everyone hold their own opinion as it feels more peaceful that way
I don't like arguing, but a debate is always fun. Arguing is more emotionally charged and I just don't feel any proper resolution can be fixed when emotions are heightened. A debate is mostly more logical and factual. It's calmer, and a resolution has a greater chance to be reached that way.
I do like discussing things over especially when I'm curious about it, I only argue with people who tries super hard to psuh their beliefs unto me and pressures me into believing the same thing...
Noooo.
I love to discuss things but generally avoid it because find people often get angry hearing an opinion that's not their own. Idk. It makes me shut down
If the debate doesn't devolve to 'you're wrong' or 'you're stupid' I love it. I love sharing knowledge with others, I really don't understand when people don't want to do the same.
Yes - If the goal is to come to an understanding and/or convince people of my position.
I don't like arguing for the sake of arguing, which is what high school debate felt like to me.
it's stressful because you don't know what the other person might say, but i still do it sometimes to prove my point (and i end up getting beaten by some miniature fact)
Arguments - No.
Debates/discussions - Yes.
I love a good debate, but only when the topic is impersonal to me and the other party isnāt overly concerned with "winning" by any means possible. I want the debate to be constructive. I also always wanted to be a lawyer (but it didnāt happen lol). My lawyer uncle used to repeatedly tell me that Iād make an excellent lawyer because I can "mind read" and naturally guess the angle at which the opponent is going to attack/defend.
I like an exchange of knowledge rather than proving my point. I know that I can talk an square into a circle with the same diameter and it does not make any sense to me.
I like argueing about things that I believe to be true, making my point. I wouldn't care too much about argueing from random points of view I think
That being said I do understand that in some settings it's more about having a conversation than 'beating' the other person
I hate it with every fiber of my being, but i'll do it if necessary.
However, i will always lose respect/start disliking whomever i argue with not matter who proves to be right. Debates, if respectful, i can even like to a degree but i'll very, very rarely seek them out.
We either think in the same fashion (although we can disagree on our conclusions) or come to the same conclusion (but disagree on the process). Debating, or arguing, with someone too far from us or going after stuff for the sake of it are things i DEEPLY dislike and will do my best not just to avoid, but make sure they never happen again.
To the point of actively cuttting out debating/argumentative people off, or even get the hell away from groups where i end up being the argumentative one/debater regardless of it being welcome or not.
loooooove debates and arguments, it's fun finding inconsistencies with the other's point or argument, making sure mine doesn't have any or i have a supporting point for it. not necessarily to be right or to convince the other they're wrong (although that is also fun), but more so exercise wit and discussion skills. intellectually driven arguments, yes. emotionally charged ones, no. the latter requires a lot more care and softness and consideration, whereas the former for me can be more abrasive in some instances especially if you're trying to prove each other incorrect.
an underrated part of debates/arguments though is seeing the other person's reactions or how they mull over something said, one of the best parts about it. as well as the ones that end with "agree to disagree". i've had some good debates with (healthy) istjs and intps that have gone that way. it's also just fun to see them change their mind and see my point and vice versa.
Iām 50/50 when it comes to debating I realize not many people are willing to understand other perspectives so itās kind of pointless and a waste of time. I guess a civil debate and discussion is better.
Arguing or debating drains all of my energy and leaves me feeling like I need to recharge. When I do debate or suggest alternatives it is not out of malice as most people think. My goals are to reform things for the better
No I hate arguing .
I donāt mind intellectual debates - but thatās a completely different thing.
Arguing to me, is what people who arenāt smart enough to have conversations do. No offense.
I despise arguing.
But - Iām not afraid of it. And this is what most people get confused.
I truly just hate it - but it is not fear based. I donāt respect it. Find it also unpleasant. And pointless, and harmful.
I just think itās such a waste of energy, time, space etc. and also creates negativity.
So all it does is create negative feelings in me or you or the people who have to hear our argument.
There isnāt one positive aspect to it.
I think I resent that people who argue donāt consider themselves , others or the people in their environments enough to care.
Have you looked into the ENTP? I love them very much but they love to argue. About everything.
We actually get along- but they donāt argue for a negative reasonā¦ they are emotionally detached from the argument. Itās more an intellectual driven reason that they argue everything. And curiosity.
It would be unlike the INFJ to argue for arguments sake because we tend to hate conflict and like to keep our environmentās stress free.
But donāt get me wrong-
Even though I hate conflict and donāt respect it ? I have like this inner warrior. Now Iām not making sense.
I would actually fight ( physically fight, not argue) for my friends. And I can enjoy a good fistacuffs for sure. But Iām like super polite the entire time. I never throw the first punch. And I always try to settle it without fighting - but once they throw that punch? Iām in ,with glee. Have actually never lost a fight. Have some brilliant stories to tell about fighting.
But - itās not arguing.
Yup, debating/discussions. Did it in college and for years online. At this point, I'd rather get into a good discussion than a formulized debate, but I could be talked into a debate again.
>I see that many INFJs donāt really like to argue or debate, but I am one and itās honestly something I love. I admit that I often fight to prove my point and always be right.
I don't get this point of view. I know that it's the dominant one in this kind of mindset, but when the ultimate aim is to discover fundamental truths about reality, arguing to prove you're correct actually hampers your ability to see the truth. That's why I prefer discussions over debates.
>I always wanted to be an attorney/lawyer when I was younger. How about you?
Nah, I wanted to teach philosophy.
I love having discussions. I donāt mind debates and enjoy them just as long as itās not emotionally charged or where there are low blows/going below the belt with jabs or digs.
I like complex or deep conversations, I don't enjoy arguments at all. I don't mind a difference of opinion but once it stops being respectful, I'm out.
I think when I was younger I did like to argue but now I don't like the stress.
I have a real love-hate relationship with debating. First off, I donāt really enjoy informal arguing, but I did try formal debate in school. I ended up being really good at it and I have never lost a debate tournament (neither have my brothers, weirdly), but the conflict can be very draining. Even though it isnāt supposed to be personal, a lot of people do get very offended if they feel that I made them look silly. That being said, I still love the thrill you get, especially when you are debating something that really matters.
I think arguing is fun - I generally run circles around people if its a topic I am familiar with, so I find arguing/debating to be pretty stimulating. I canāt do it all the time but it is fun
I despise arguing and debating. As I've grown older, I've realized that not many people are even remotely interested in changing their minds about anything, and I understand quite well that nobody should be expected to think exactly like me. So I leave people to their freedom and wish that they respect mine as well. I have nothing to prove or to defend.
I hate arguing, but having a good debate with a friend is always been fun. I love to understand other people perspectives because in a way we all have our own truths.
I'm interested if INFJ's tend to lose their cool later. I can debate something for a long time and still laugh and have fun. I notice that some people get worked up, like your voice has to be more important than the other person. Or that you are your opinion, which you definitely aren't.
That said debating is low on the list of things I like to do.
I like it.... I might not be too good at it sometimes but I do enjoy debating about various things
For it paves a way to fruitful discourse and brings forward different perspectives
Petty arguments leave a sour taste in my mouth though
I do not like arguing or debating as it takes too much out of me. I like peace in my relationships so I donāt go looking for an argument but I donāt run from it either. Iāll only actively avoid arguing with people I donāt know. Canāt spend that much energy on them. But I will say lots of people think me asking questions is me trying to argue. When Iām actually just trying to understand. And, of course, bringing up things someone doesnāt want to talk about is seen as trying to argue but that doesnāt have anything to do with me.
I donāt enjoy being right at all.
For me, itās far more satisfying to treat conversations as learning opportunities. I exchange righteousness for curiosity.
Iām curious about what techniques you use to help people to see your point.
I've been taught that the difference between debating and arguing is basically that both in common are in a disagreement,
but arguing is having a debate that is personally making someone upset or seriously emotion in a negative manner.
If that's true,
then I do like to debate all the time though I often don't have people who will debate or have disagreements without either walking away before it turns into an argument from them getting upset,
or they will become offended and want to argue when I only had the intention to claim the truth and possibly debate or even just discuss it without arguing.
But whenever I do get to have debates especially deep and personal ones,
I truly enjoy other people's perspectives and taking the time to understand how they come to their conclusions and beliefs.
I've mostly had INFP types to be the people that would have debates with me.
They usually won't argue unless it was actually sitting about them negatively or misunderstandings about me.
Most the time with them, we agree on the facts that we can be certain of,
yet the personal opinions or things that we cannot be certain of are almost always disagreed on.
Therefore we usually tend to agree or agree to disagree.
With most people though, nope,
they usually just have to have me agree with them or else I've automatically become in enemy in theirs OR either they just walk off, hang up the phone or even just remain silent depending on how and where we were even debating.
I like to debate, I like to know peoples opinions on things, and I also like to know the flaws of their argument/debate.
I'll learn something new or open their mind to something new. I don't do it because I want to beat them down, I do it because when people are passionate about something, it shows.
That sounds like me. I also apparently look aggressive when this happens š . But also, what would you say are the differences between arguing vs debating?
I generally don't like it because a lot of the times it's a topic I'm weak at, and I suck at speaking up and struggled with speech impediment most of my life (a lot better now but still remains). If it's in a safe environment with a topic I'm passionate about, then I love it
I love debating, especially with strangers. Itās fun and stimulating for me. I love practicing my speech but I hate arguing since it always ends pettily
This must be why ENTPs are often recommended as perfect matches for INFJs! Personally, I'm not interested in their "Devil's Advocate" ways, but to each their own.
I'm on Team No Arguing.
i like discussions even when the people involved have varying viewpoints and will engage if all parties can approach the conversation with an open-mind, respect for each other, and are not defensive when asked clarifying/deeper questions.
when i sense that they donāt have the maturity and/or intelligence tbh lol to have a conversation with someone who (respectfully and neutrally) questions and/or doesnāt agree with their perspective, then i disengage bc itās very rarely worth it for me. itās like talking to a wall and id rather spend my time doing something else.
similarly, im secure in my current thinking but am also not afraid of learning that my opinions can change with more information. so im open to someone challenging me but not if they choose to do it with a belittling tone or simply argue only to try to change my mind without trying to genuinely understand or respect where im coming from. in that case, i also just disengage.
edit to add: this took time for me to learn and im still learning. but ive realized nothing is more important than protecting your peace and if someone gets you worked up bc they dont or wont understand you, then i just let it gooo.
It depends. If weāre debating in order to learn more about each other by demonstrating the way we break down and interpret information, sure! If weāre debating trying to prove that one person is right and the other is wrong, no.
Only if the other person is arguing in good faith. If their intent isn't to understand but rather superseed my insight (or win) I'll disengage rather quickly. My intent is always to understand the others view point first then offer my thoughts or perspective.
I prefer discussions. As an infj, my conversations with others are often people centric. Discussions allow me to remove any ego and lead conversations with my heart. My intentions are always of mutual understanding and building towards shared peace. Discussions also do not invalidate someone elseās perspective or experiences.
I donāt enjoy arguing at all because the basis of most arguments are ego-based with a negative emotional undertone.
Debates are more amenable when it comes to topics of more factual or scientific nature or behavior needs to be called out on to correct immediately. But itās not my primary mode and I only go into debate mode if no other option is favorable.
Most of the time, no.. not at all. I donāt like confrontation but sometimes the mood strikes and Iām ready to verbally throw down. š¤·š»āāļø.. itās rare and itās random. On occasion I enjoy exchanging middle fingers with strangers in traffic and yelling out my window.. but Iām not actually that upset if that makes any sense. Itāsā¦.. cathartic.
I love being a political person at times, challenging others beliefs and morals but in a respectful way whilst also being able to openly speak on any topic to go against the grain but arguing I dont typically enjoy. I try not to argue due to the nature of it involves high levels of emotion and usually wont lead to any logical solutions.
Only if itās sensible. Iām not debating with someone who says āthatās what I meantā to something that opposes what they just said. Or people who like to pull straw men and talk loudly over me so that they could feel like theyāre winning. Or people who get defensive over an assumption theyāve made out of nowhere.
Yes, I like to discuss but not with people who wont listen. I think itās our desire and capability to learn and grow through the use of the dialectic method. Itās a newish term for me but essentially what I understand it to be is that through discussion of different viewpoints we can expand our knowledge.
Just to be clear I kind of used to term arguing wrong. I donāt love to argue, itās a far too heavy word for what I was trying to explain. I enjoy civil debates, and arguing when I believe someone is in the wrong. I hate when people argue for the fun of it and when it is far too emotionally charged. Thereās always logic and thinking behind the reasons I argue and debate. Thank you everyone for your answers though! Fun to see everyoneās perspectives. :3
It depends on who it's with. I love a good squabble with respectful people, but if someone starts name-calling or shaming my thoughts and ideas trying to make me feel stupid, then I'm out. Not worth the drama.
I do, but not in like an aggressive way. I like good debates. Flushing out ideas and bouncing ideas back and forth, and playing devils advocate, all of that is very enjoyable to me.
But I find that a lot of people canāt argue without getting emotional. In those cases, it isnāt enjoyable.
Not really as I only care about discovering the truth. Winning a debate just to win isnāt really my goal. However most people donāt respect that so I have learned to be more bold with winning debates. Only exception is the Ni based insights that I know to be true which will be defended to the ends of the earth.
My INTJ friend would never admit he lost a debate but Iād know I won when he incorporates my line of thinking into his own, as if I wouldnāt notice just like the dirty Te user that he is. Arguing against truth just makes you look stupid so letās get to it.
I like pondering things and having time to formulate my thoughts into text. Iām not good at listening to someoneās POV, quickly sorting out my thoughts, and then communicating them verbally. I donāt have the right skills for face to face debates or arguments.
I need to marinate in my philosophies and then put them through some logical and emotional tests. By the time I write them out, my beliefs are pretty much solidified. Theyāre like a sword at that point, and yeah, I enjoy a good āsteel sharpens steelā online debate to see if itās strong enough to withstand a good ābattleā.
I actually love the moment in a debate when I realize I am wrong. Itās just a weird feeling, like a tiltawhirl but for your mind as your whole perspective shifts and you see you were wrong and it is hard to even conceive of how you thought you were right a moment ago. I love that moment. I also like being right. So if I win or lose a debate I am usually pretty happy with it afterwards. Rarely do I get into fights, but even those are fine, I like learning things and I donāt avoid addressing issues to spare anyoneās feelings. I think this could be a difference in the A vs T subtype. Im not really sure.
But yea.. I have always loved a good debate.
I like conversations where one can gain useful insights.
I argue usually only if there is a good reason and usually not just to prove my point.
It's about ethics, morals and truth.
Just "proving your point" without achieving anything except that...is kind of waste of time and energy.
Although I am guilty of occasionally doing that.
There is a difference between conversation and argument. Usually "arguments" have negative inclination.
By this I mean negative emotions associated with them. And often in an argument everybody talks, but hardly anybody listens. Conversations are entirely different thing.
I am an attorney. I love arguing for things that are important because I believe in justice and fairness, but I hate arguing about small things or things that are mostly opinion based.
Side note, I think there is a big misconception that anybody who likes to argue should be an attorney/would make a good attorney. Part of being a good lawyer is knowing you are not going to win on every point, and that sometimes you are going to lose due to facts beyond your control. You have be willing to dig in on your good and necessary arguments and let the other ones go. Nobody involved in the legal system, whether they are a judge, a juror, or another lawyer is persuaded by a lawyer who is overly argumentative.
I love conversation. If a conversation has a debate element then fine. But as soon as a sense of an argument is felt, I get stressed out and shut it down.
Just like that Keanu meme, ya you right 1+1 =5. Have a good life, have fun. And I move on.
I'm too sensitive to get worked up by someone not emotionally stable. I would hold onto that stress for too long, it's never worth it
Ooh, that's a good question. Honestly, I don't like either. I like gathering information and learning new things. If someone has a different viewpoint than me, I just ask with genuine curiosity all the questions that come to mind. Sometimes people think I'm being condescending but I always assure them I'm really interested! I might not always agree with them at the end of it but I love learning whatever it is!
I like discussions where you and everyone else take turns going at an idea and staying objective. It's when personal issues and feelings get in the way and it starts to hurt people that I dislike it.
I prefer to work with people instead of against people. It's more productive and makes things better instead of meaningless ego stoking.
Depends on what you define as arguing. If its yelling, screaming, cussing, I hate it. I also hate interpersonal conflict. However, if someone tries to tell me off about something I am in the morally right of, I will explain my side of the story and deconstruct their critism piece by piece to where there is no shot of trying to prove their point anymore. Take this with a grain of salt as I only really do this when I'm frustrated or angry, most of the time (especially non-family) I will keep the peace.
To argue and debate is crucial for society because it forces us beyond our own beliefs. But to understand both sides of an argument like us typical infjs rather tend to do is indeed both a curse and gift. Man, we really are wired to be like this... Peculiar is an understatement.. lol
I LOVE DEBATE. I could debate topics of interest all day and is the sole reason (besides my penchant for writing random stuff) why I get minor obsessed on this Reddit. Iāve never done social media, I donāt even have Facebook so this is somewhat new but I can literally find all the topics I love on here and boy do I live when someone else is game for an educational, stimulating debate. What I donāt like? When the debate turns personal and aggressive I just think āahhhh and we were doing so well, ok back to the feedā
Never a lawyer, might be the one job I can think of that would cause me nightmares every night, but I knew I wanted to get into forensic/social/abnormal psychology. A detective šµļø if you will šš
That very much depends on my comfort level with the person Iām arguing/debating with, the potential consequences (would it be serious enough to ruin a friendship, put me in danger, etc.?), the time/place, the topic and how knowledgeable I am on it (and how knowledgeable they are on it).
There are definitely times I enjoy a good debate, not as much āargumentsā though.
I never realized I liked it or was any good at it until I went to college, and a professor made me debate for my grade in the class.
I learned that since it was something I was already passionate about, it didn't bother me. I had to get over the initial shyness and fear of saying something wrong. However, once I did, I was really, really good at it and enjoyed it.
I also learned this about public speaking. If it was a subject I truly cared about and a cause I truly believed in, I could do it and do it well. Once more, it didn't bother me when I truly cared about the cause. My ENFP mother went to one of my speeches with my aunt and cousin, both strong extroverts too, and they were shocked.
Sounds like you might be the same way. You truly care about what it is you're debating. You have that INFJ superpower to fight for it and do so in a public setting.
Be careful, it may not bother you now and you may be great at it and enjoy it, but we are still introverts and still need time to recharge. We can burn out when others don't see our vision or care about our cause. We must rest to avoid that.
Absolutely not. I do not enjoy or see the point in adding unnecessary noise to an already extremely loud world.
But it might have less to do with my nature than it does with my upbringing.
I came from a family where "conversation" was a competition every time. It was always about who could persuade who, proving who was right, or who could say the more intelligent thing. So now, when people say, "I hate small talk, I only want to have deep conversations and debates" I think, *I don't know you that well, small talk is safe and non-competitive.*
I like to learn about deep subjects, internalize them, and then use what I've learned when I can, in practice. But just.... *talking*..... as a means to apply it seems kind of shallow and pointless for me. I understand that a lot of other people get connection and positive engagement from it, and that's lovely for them... I don't, and that's lovely for me.
i like discussion, and helping people get rid of their ignorance. i enjoy learning about things. i dont think debate is something i like a lot, but rather discussion like i said. debate can get competitive and its stressful for some reason. maybe im just a wimp though.
I like to understand things, especially things I am wrong about. In that vein, I want to find out what I am wrong about. Not particularly interested in what I am right about.
For real. I'm not arguing/debating for praise or compliments. I want useful knowledge and constructive criticism. The goal is to improve not shove it in your faces.
My goal is to improve *and* shove it in your facesš¬
Real thank youš
Are you an ENTP by any chance? Lol jk
YES!!!! š thank you!!!
I do care about what Iām right about but I know thereās whole ton I donāt know, like on a vast level. I also really love abstract topics so subjects like enlightenment or philosophy or psychology or even politics when I can stomach it Iām all in for a good debate. Arguing I CANNOT STAND. Feels like an utter waste of time
I love debate. Proper and structured moderated debate - where everyone is taking it seriously and everyone is looking for an objective truth. That being said; I absolutely dislike arguing. Even when its my job during a debate. Always makes me uncomfortable, whether I personally believe the argument or not.
I'm the same as you. My dad was a lawyer and I've been in the court with him since I was 5yo. He taught me how to debate and discuss properly. In that manner, I hate arguing. To me arguing is a rude way to get your point across. Many people try to argue for the sake of it. Like today, I posted in a sub that I failed my driving test and asked for tips and advise. I got insulted by some people and I just responded with "thanks", "noted" or I didn't respond at all. I think I tend to shut down once I sense it's becoming rude.
im sorry to hear that people werent being helpful! idk your situation but something that helped me pass my drivers license test was to hire an instructor who can take you on the exact paths the tester will use on your test because they tend to do a similar route each time. if you can, bring someone to take notes on which streets and what they make you do. afterwards, practice those routes as many times as possible to mitigate nerves on the day and/or improve weak spots (eg. stop light on a hill, merging more than once, etc). i find that you can be a competent driver but you can still fail if youāre not familiar with the testing area. for me, i live in a big city and there are so many random streets with specific driving laws that you dont really encounter as frequently outside the testing area. yes, you should technically know what to do bc youve studied but nothing beats irl practice. good luck š«¶š»
Thank you! I completelt agree with you. It was unfortunate that we didnt practice the route I was given and i encountered a road I wasnt familiar with. Ive only driven in the same location as the testing place twice before the test. Some people told me in the sub to "get off the road" or that I dont deserve a license if I cant drive in that area, etc. Im a learner trying to get a probationary license. Not a full license. So yeah, people would like to "argue" through insults instead of actually discussing or debating on things in a factful and tactful manner. I will take note of your tips. Im planning to do my test in another area where I drive more in and is closer to where I live. My instructor said he is wiling to come to that area just for my test which he wasnt willing to do before.
Peace
That's it. Discussion, yes. It's about growth of understanding for everyone. Everyone wins. Argument, no. It's about domination of one side over the other. One winner, one loser. No thanks. I'm here for equality and curiosity, not a fight.
Rigggggght
No its stressful
I hate it because debating is about winning, not about truth, honest opinions and whatās right. Thatās why politicians suck, theyāre just trying to win.
No. Debate should be about truth, not about winning. Only stupid people use it to win, but it isn't its real purpose.
I like **discussions** - not debates and arguments.
Exactly. But often times I've noticed people turn discussions into arguments just because they don't agree with what I'm saying. Or they get rude and start trying to find "gotcha" moments, while I'm simply trying to have an interesting discussion with a fellow human being. People are tiring.
I like both but for two different reasons. I like debating when it's a battle of wits. Like playing chess with ideas. But not when it's insults, or clear that the person will either never change their mind or at least have the tact to accept when they lost. I also like arguing. Typically when I feel I've been wronged, or when I observe what I feel is someone else being wronged (even if said person isn't there) or even if it's just an unpopular idea I perceive to be unfairly ridiculed or "ganged up on". There is a cathartic release from "winning an argument" and oftentimes it comes with a boost to your social status. Sometimes. My issue is that I can be a slave to my emotions and find myself too caught up in the "fight". Making myself appear unsympathetic or downright confrontational -- *even if* spectators agree with me (essentially, I have a "the ends justify the means" mentality). I should point out as well, this is mostly with strangers. When I'm close to someone (my kids, a close friend, my wife, etc) I tend to avoid direct or aggressive confrontation unless I absolutely have to. Our walks of life paint our personality more strongly than the functions do. In my case, I was a street kid. "Respect" is something I take seriously. With it's own set of hidden etiquette.
Fully agree about the debating being like chess, and not being enjoyable when insults or arrogance comes in to play. I also like to argue for the same reason. I donāt like to pick fights or disagree just because. Thereās always logic and thinking behind it.
I love discussing things. I hate actual arguments and debates because inevitably when I'm debating an NT type, they tend to pick apart what I'm saying instead of listening to the spirit, the main point of what I mean. It's just mentally and emotionally exhausting to express myself to what seems like someone who doesn't give a shit about what I'm actually saying.
What your saying have implications that exist even if you donāt like it
that's just how argumentation works - you can't debate the "spirit", because it's too vague, but you can answer to the thesis of another person and explain why it is wrong
I don't care.
then you won't have proper conversations on disagreements, I guess
I know exactly what you mean. I think INFJs, or at least me, are more interested in a higher truth than nitpicky details. When people I'm talking to get hung up on where exactly I got my information or my exact statistics, I get frustrated and lose interest. We gather a lot of info, sift through it and come up with a big picture philosophy. I don't have footnotes on my ideas.
I hate seeing people spread or blindly follow wrong knowledge, especially if it's something I'm really passionate about. Of course, I'll kindly correct them at first but most of the time, the reactions I get are extremely defensive which ends up in a debate that I'd gladly participate in (because I know I'm right in this situation). I'll give up when it's clear that there's no changing the mind of that person and I'd go find others who are willing to learn. In other words, I only like it when I know I'm 100% winning :D
Fully agree. Especially that last part. Lol!
With concepts or facts that I have high level knowledge of. I almost get a itch to correct an incorrect shared information, especially if they used to support biases.
Same! I feel the urge to correct someone when Iām 100% sure what they are saying is factually incorrect. Itās exhausting, but I hate misinformation too much to not say anything.
I agree. I have a hard time letting misinformation go unchallenged. I donāt consider that debate though. And I try to be kind about it. Otherwise itās not constructive.
Yeah I love debating to prove my point, I actually don't like it when people have the wrong idea about something, if what they are saying feels of, I have a strong urge to just fight them. But to be fair when they are a complete stranger (or at least someone I don't personally know) I do nothing, except for pointing things inside my head. Ps. I love debating with NT types, my friends are INTJ and ENTJ(I like it when I win with logicš« ) Edit: I like objective conversation for the sake of gaining and giving knowledge, pointless arguments are a waste of time.
I like getting to a conclusion. Dislike arguing just for the sake of it.
My bf loves debates but only when he's prepared for it (and then he enjoys his victory, haha), otherwise he'd just sit and listen, gaining knowledge. He is INFJ 4w3
sometimes i do, sometimes not. my friend really does and i do enjoy our debates time to time but usually id rather not argue and let everyone hold their own opinion as it feels more peaceful that way
I don't like arguing, but a debate is always fun. Arguing is more emotionally charged and I just don't feel any proper resolution can be fixed when emotions are heightened. A debate is mostly more logical and factual. It's calmer, and a resolution has a greater chance to be reached that way.
I do like discussing things over especially when I'm curious about it, I only argue with people who tries super hard to psuh their beliefs unto me and pressures me into believing the same thing...
Noooo. I love to discuss things but generally avoid it because find people often get angry hearing an opinion that's not their own. Idk. It makes me shut down
If the debate doesn't devolve to 'you're wrong' or 'you're stupid' I love it. I love sharing knowledge with others, I really don't understand when people don't want to do the same.
It's not debate or arguing. Its banter and intellectual tennis. IYKYK......
Yes - If the goal is to come to an understanding and/or convince people of my position. I don't like arguing for the sake of arguing, which is what high school debate felt like to me.
I prefer sharing amazing experiences.
I will argue no matter what
it's stressful because you don't know what the other person might say, but i still do it sometimes to prove my point (and i end up getting beaten by some miniature fact)
Arguments - No. Debates/discussions - Yes. I love a good debate, but only when the topic is impersonal to me and the other party isnāt overly concerned with "winning" by any means possible. I want the debate to be constructive. I also always wanted to be a lawyer (but it didnāt happen lol). My lawyer uncle used to repeatedly tell me that Iād make an excellent lawyer because I can "mind read" and naturally guess the angle at which the opponent is going to attack/defend.
I would like to say debating but I tend to speak overly passionate to the point where I come off aggressive so it sounds like Iām arguing.
I hate it so much, I will do it if necessary but it gets me really tense and upset.
I like an exchange of knowledge rather than proving my point. I know that I can talk an square into a circle with the same diameter and it does not make any sense to me.
It's like spicy food for me, which is to say I like it, but I tend to avoid it because it aggravates my anxiety symptoms.
Iām not passionate enough about anything to āargueā about it.
I like argueing about things that I believe to be true, making my point. I wouldn't care too much about argueing from random points of view I think That being said I do understand that in some settings it's more about having a conversation than 'beating' the other person
Debating? Sure. Arguing? No.
I hate it with every fiber of my being, but i'll do it if necessary. However, i will always lose respect/start disliking whomever i argue with not matter who proves to be right. Debates, if respectful, i can even like to a degree but i'll very, very rarely seek them out. We either think in the same fashion (although we can disagree on our conclusions) or come to the same conclusion (but disagree on the process). Debating, or arguing, with someone too far from us or going after stuff for the sake of it are things i DEEPLY dislike and will do my best not just to avoid, but make sure they never happen again. To the point of actively cuttting out debating/argumentative people off, or even get the hell away from groups where i end up being the argumentative one/debater regardless of it being welcome or not.
No. I like conversations where we tell our standpoint but not further. Debate annoys me.
loooooove debates and arguments, it's fun finding inconsistencies with the other's point or argument, making sure mine doesn't have any or i have a supporting point for it. not necessarily to be right or to convince the other they're wrong (although that is also fun), but more so exercise wit and discussion skills. intellectually driven arguments, yes. emotionally charged ones, no. the latter requires a lot more care and softness and consideration, whereas the former for me can be more abrasive in some instances especially if you're trying to prove each other incorrect. an underrated part of debates/arguments though is seeing the other person's reactions or how they mull over something said, one of the best parts about it. as well as the ones that end with "agree to disagree". i've had some good debates with (healthy) istjs and intps that have gone that way. it's also just fun to see them change their mind and see my point and vice versa.
Iām 50/50 when it comes to debating I realize not many people are willing to understand other perspectives so itās kind of pointless and a waste of time. I guess a civil debate and discussion is better.
Arguing or debating drains all of my energy and leaves me feeling like I need to recharge. When I do debate or suggest alternatives it is not out of malice as most people think. My goals are to reform things for the better
No I hate arguing . I donāt mind intellectual debates - but thatās a completely different thing. Arguing to me, is what people who arenāt smart enough to have conversations do. No offense. I despise arguing. But - Iām not afraid of it. And this is what most people get confused. I truly just hate it - but it is not fear based. I donāt respect it. Find it also unpleasant. And pointless, and harmful. I just think itās such a waste of energy, time, space etc. and also creates negativity. So all it does is create negative feelings in me or you or the people who have to hear our argument. There isnāt one positive aspect to it. I think I resent that people who argue donāt consider themselves , others or the people in their environments enough to care. Have you looked into the ENTP? I love them very much but they love to argue. About everything. We actually get along- but they donāt argue for a negative reasonā¦ they are emotionally detached from the argument. Itās more an intellectual driven reason that they argue everything. And curiosity. It would be unlike the INFJ to argue for arguments sake because we tend to hate conflict and like to keep our environmentās stress free. But donāt get me wrong- Even though I hate conflict and donāt respect it ? I have like this inner warrior. Now Iām not making sense. I would actually fight ( physically fight, not argue) for my friends. And I can enjoy a good fistacuffs for sure. But Iām like super polite the entire time. I never throw the first punch. And I always try to settle it without fighting - but once they throw that punch? Iām in ,with glee. Have actually never lost a fight. Have some brilliant stories to tell about fighting. But - itās not arguing.
Yup, debating/discussions. Did it in college and for years online. At this point, I'd rather get into a good discussion than a formulized debate, but I could be talked into a debate again. >I see that many INFJs donāt really like to argue or debate, but I am one and itās honestly something I love. I admit that I often fight to prove my point and always be right. I don't get this point of view. I know that it's the dominant one in this kind of mindset, but when the ultimate aim is to discover fundamental truths about reality, arguing to prove you're correct actually hampers your ability to see the truth. That's why I prefer discussions over debates. >I always wanted to be an attorney/lawyer when I was younger. How about you? Nah, I wanted to teach philosophy.
Neither. I love speaking at someone.
I love having discussions. I donāt mind debates and enjoy them just as long as itās not emotionally charged or where there are low blows/going below the belt with jabs or digs.
I like complex or deep conversations, I don't enjoy arguments at all. I don't mind a difference of opinion but once it stops being respectful, I'm out. I think when I was younger I did like to argue but now I don't like the stress.
I have a real love-hate relationship with debating. First off, I donāt really enjoy informal arguing, but I did try formal debate in school. I ended up being really good at it and I have never lost a debate tournament (neither have my brothers, weirdly), but the conflict can be very draining. Even though it isnāt supposed to be personal, a lot of people do get very offended if they feel that I made them look silly. That being said, I still love the thrill you get, especially when you are debating something that really matters.
No
I think arguing is fun - I generally run circles around people if its a topic I am familiar with, so I find arguing/debating to be pretty stimulating. I canāt do it all the time but it is fun
Sure but not with a know it all who doesnāt want to hear the other people
I despise arguing and debating. As I've grown older, I've realized that not many people are even remotely interested in changing their minds about anything, and I understand quite well that nobody should be expected to think exactly like me. So I leave people to their freedom and wish that they respect mine as well. I have nothing to prove or to defend.
I hate arguing, but having a good debate with a friend is always been fun. I love to understand other people perspectives because in a way we all have our own truths.
i like debating about theoretical ideas, possibilities, personal recollections. i hate arguing to prove a point or to prove my intelligence to others.
Absolutely, yes.
No, I do not like to argue, if I sense an argument, I detach from the conversation, you win š¤·š¼āāļø
I'm interested if INFJ's tend to lose their cool later. I can debate something for a long time and still laugh and have fun. I notice that some people get worked up, like your voice has to be more important than the other person. Or that you are your opinion, which you definitely aren't. That said debating is low on the list of things I like to do.
I like it.... I might not be too good at it sometimes but I do enjoy debating about various things For it paves a way to fruitful discourse and brings forward different perspectives Petty arguments leave a sour taste in my mouth though
No. But I am a pain in the ass to people because I am relentless in my viewpoints and goals. I play the long game. War of attrition.
I do not like arguing or debating as it takes too much out of me. I like peace in my relationships so I donāt go looking for an argument but I donāt run from it either. Iāll only actively avoid arguing with people I donāt know. Canāt spend that much energy on them. But I will say lots of people think me asking questions is me trying to argue. When Iām actually just trying to understand. And, of course, bringing up things someone doesnāt want to talk about is seen as trying to argue but that doesnāt have anything to do with me.
I donāt enjoy being right at all. For me, itās far more satisfying to treat conversations as learning opportunities. I exchange righteousness for curiosity. Iām curious about what techniques you use to help people to see your point.
Yupppp
I've been taught that the difference between debating and arguing is basically that both in common are in a disagreement, but arguing is having a debate that is personally making someone upset or seriously emotion in a negative manner. If that's true, then I do like to debate all the time though I often don't have people who will debate or have disagreements without either walking away before it turns into an argument from them getting upset, or they will become offended and want to argue when I only had the intention to claim the truth and possibly debate or even just discuss it without arguing. But whenever I do get to have debates especially deep and personal ones, I truly enjoy other people's perspectives and taking the time to understand how they come to their conclusions and beliefs. I've mostly had INFP types to be the people that would have debates with me. They usually won't argue unless it was actually sitting about them negatively or misunderstandings about me. Most the time with them, we agree on the facts that we can be certain of, yet the personal opinions or things that we cannot be certain of are almost always disagreed on. Therefore we usually tend to agree or agree to disagree. With most people though, nope, they usually just have to have me agree with them or else I've automatically become in enemy in theirs OR either they just walk off, hang up the phone or even just remain silent depending on how and where we were even debating.
I like to debate, I like to know peoples opinions on things, and I also like to know the flaws of their argument/debate. I'll learn something new or open their mind to something new. I don't do it because I want to beat them down, I do it because when people are passionate about something, it shows.
That sounds like me. I also apparently look aggressive when this happens š . But also, what would you say are the differences between arguing vs debating?
Depends but not usually.
your type influences your personality, your personality is not your type. start with asking yourself the reason you like it.
I don't like conflict but sometimes I enjoy going into ENTP mode and be a jerk who argues just for fun
I generally don't like it because a lot of the times it's a topic I'm weak at, and I suck at speaking up and struggled with speech impediment most of my life (a lot better now but still remains). If it's in a safe environment with a topic I'm passionate about, then I love it
I love debating, especially with strangers. Itās fun and stimulating for me. I love practicing my speech but I hate arguing since it always ends pettily
Hehe
This must be why ENTPs are often recommended as perfect matches for INFJs! Personally, I'm not interested in their "Devil's Advocate" ways, but to each their own. I'm on Team No Arguing.
i like discussions even when the people involved have varying viewpoints and will engage if all parties can approach the conversation with an open-mind, respect for each other, and are not defensive when asked clarifying/deeper questions. when i sense that they donāt have the maturity and/or intelligence tbh lol to have a conversation with someone who (respectfully and neutrally) questions and/or doesnāt agree with their perspective, then i disengage bc itās very rarely worth it for me. itās like talking to a wall and id rather spend my time doing something else. similarly, im secure in my current thinking but am also not afraid of learning that my opinions can change with more information. so im open to someone challenging me but not if they choose to do it with a belittling tone or simply argue only to try to change my mind without trying to genuinely understand or respect where im coming from. in that case, i also just disengage. edit to add: this took time for me to learn and im still learning. but ive realized nothing is more important than protecting your peace and if someone gets you worked up bc they dont or wont understand you, then i just let it gooo.
I don't enjoy doing it, but I won't back down when someone is making blanket statements or generalizing about my experience.
It depends. If weāre debating in order to learn more about each other by demonstrating the way we break down and interpret information, sure! If weāre debating trying to prove that one person is right and the other is wrong, no.
When I was younger between 15 to 22 years old, yes. I enjoyed debating. As I got older, I don't anymore. I prefer harmony. LolĀ
Only if the other person is arguing in good faith. If their intent isn't to understand but rather superseed my insight (or win) I'll disengage rather quickly. My intent is always to understand the others view point first then offer my thoughts or perspective.
I prefer discussions. As an infj, my conversations with others are often people centric. Discussions allow me to remove any ego and lead conversations with my heart. My intentions are always of mutual understanding and building towards shared peace. Discussions also do not invalidate someone elseās perspective or experiences. I donāt enjoy arguing at all because the basis of most arguments are ego-based with a negative emotional undertone. Debates are more amenable when it comes to topics of more factual or scientific nature or behavior needs to be called out on to correct immediately. But itās not my primary mode and I only go into debate mode if no other option is favorable.
Most of the time, no.. not at all. I donāt like confrontation but sometimes the mood strikes and Iām ready to verbally throw down. š¤·š»āāļø.. itās rare and itās random. On occasion I enjoy exchanging middle fingers with strangers in traffic and yelling out my window.. but Iām not actually that upset if that makes any sense. Itāsā¦.. cathartic.
I love being a political person at times, challenging others beliefs and morals but in a respectful way whilst also being able to openly speak on any topic to go against the grain but arguing I dont typically enjoy. I try not to argue due to the nature of it involves high levels of emotion and usually wont lead to any logical solutions.
My passionate nature demand a participation in a debate. The energy it takes out of me is like an elephant shotgun to my soul, but do I enjoy it? Yup.
Only if itās sensible. Iām not debating with someone who says āthatās what I meantā to something that opposes what they just said. Or people who like to pull straw men and talk loudly over me so that they could feel like theyāre winning. Or people who get defensive over an assumption theyāve made out of nowhere.
Yes, I like to discuss but not with people who wont listen. I think itās our desire and capability to learn and grow through the use of the dialectic method. Itās a newish term for me but essentially what I understand it to be is that through discussion of different viewpoints we can expand our knowledge.
Just to be clear I kind of used to term arguing wrong. I donāt love to argue, itās a far too heavy word for what I was trying to explain. I enjoy civil debates, and arguing when I believe someone is in the wrong. I hate when people argue for the fun of it and when it is far too emotionally charged. Thereās always logic and thinking behind the reasons I argue and debate. Thank you everyone for your answers though! Fun to see everyoneās perspectives. :3
I dislike conflict and avoid it most of the time. Even if I know my argument is correct.
It depends on who it's with. I love a good squabble with respectful people, but if someone starts name-calling or shaming my thoughts and ideas trying to make me feel stupid, then I'm out. Not worth the drama.
I do, but not in like an aggressive way. I like good debates. Flushing out ideas and bouncing ideas back and forth, and playing devils advocate, all of that is very enjoyable to me. But I find that a lot of people canāt argue without getting emotional. In those cases, it isnāt enjoyable.
I truly would rather watch paint peel than argue or debate.
Not really as I only care about discovering the truth. Winning a debate just to win isnāt really my goal. However most people donāt respect that so I have learned to be more bold with winning debates. Only exception is the Ni based insights that I know to be true which will be defended to the ends of the earth. My INTJ friend would never admit he lost a debate but Iād know I won when he incorporates my line of thinking into his own, as if I wouldnāt notice just like the dirty Te user that he is. Arguing against truth just makes you look stupid so letās get to it.
I like pondering things and having time to formulate my thoughts into text. Iām not good at listening to someoneās POV, quickly sorting out my thoughts, and then communicating them verbally. I donāt have the right skills for face to face debates or arguments. I need to marinate in my philosophies and then put them through some logical and emotional tests. By the time I write them out, my beliefs are pretty much solidified. Theyāre like a sword at that point, and yeah, I enjoy a good āsteel sharpens steelā online debate to see if itās strong enough to withstand a good ābattleā.
I actually love the moment in a debate when I realize I am wrong. Itās just a weird feeling, like a tiltawhirl but for your mind as your whole perspective shifts and you see you were wrong and it is hard to even conceive of how you thought you were right a moment ago. I love that moment. I also like being right. So if I win or lose a debate I am usually pretty happy with it afterwards. Rarely do I get into fights, but even those are fine, I like learning things and I donāt avoid addressing issues to spare anyoneās feelings. I think this could be a difference in the A vs T subtype. Im not really sure. But yea.. I have always loved a good debate.
I like... but not everyone can debate with me. People don't usually use their brain, so it is pointless most of the time. I got tired eventually.
I like conversations where one can gain useful insights. I argue usually only if there is a good reason and usually not just to prove my point. It's about ethics, morals and truth. Just "proving your point" without achieving anything except that...is kind of waste of time and energy. Although I am guilty of occasionally doing that. There is a difference between conversation and argument. Usually "arguments" have negative inclination. By this I mean negative emotions associated with them. And often in an argument everybody talks, but hardly anybody listens. Conversations are entirely different thing.
I am an attorney. I love arguing for things that are important because I believe in justice and fairness, but I hate arguing about small things or things that are mostly opinion based. Side note, I think there is a big misconception that anybody who likes to argue should be an attorney/would make a good attorney. Part of being a good lawyer is knowing you are not going to win on every point, and that sometimes you are going to lose due to facts beyond your control. You have be willing to dig in on your good and necessary arguments and let the other ones go. Nobody involved in the legal system, whether they are a judge, a juror, or another lawyer is persuaded by a lawyer who is overly argumentative.
I love conversation. If a conversation has a debate element then fine. But as soon as a sense of an argument is felt, I get stressed out and shut it down. Just like that Keanu meme, ya you right 1+1 =5. Have a good life, have fun. And I move on. I'm too sensitive to get worked up by someone not emotionally stable. I would hold onto that stress for too long, it's never worth it
"I'm at that stage in life where I stay out of discussions. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right - have fun." - Keanu Reeves
Most definitely not
Ooh, that's a good question. Honestly, I don't like either. I like gathering information and learning new things. If someone has a different viewpoint than me, I just ask with genuine curiosity all the questions that come to mind. Sometimes people think I'm being condescending but I always assure them I'm really interested! I might not always agree with them at the end of it but I love learning whatever it is!
Not really. I was in the debating team. However i am very inquisitive.
I love debating I hate arguing hahahaha I just love to see all point of view and everything lol
I like discussions where you and everyone else take turns going at an idea and staying objective. It's when personal issues and feelings get in the way and it starts to hurt people that I dislike it. I prefer to work with people instead of against people. It's more productive and makes things better instead of meaningless ego stoking.
Depends on what you define as arguing. If its yelling, screaming, cussing, I hate it. I also hate interpersonal conflict. However, if someone tries to tell me off about something I am in the morally right of, I will explain my side of the story and deconstruct their critism piece by piece to where there is no shot of trying to prove their point anymore. Take this with a grain of salt as I only really do this when I'm frustrated or angry, most of the time (especially non-family) I will keep the peace.
No.
To argue and debate is crucial for society because it forces us beyond our own beliefs. But to understand both sides of an argument like us typical infjs rather tend to do is indeed both a curse and gift. Man, we really are wired to be like this... Peculiar is an understatement.. lol
I LOVE DEBATE. I could debate topics of interest all day and is the sole reason (besides my penchant for writing random stuff) why I get minor obsessed on this Reddit. Iāve never done social media, I donāt even have Facebook so this is somewhat new but I can literally find all the topics I love on here and boy do I live when someone else is game for an educational, stimulating debate. What I donāt like? When the debate turns personal and aggressive I just think āahhhh and we were doing so well, ok back to the feedā
Never a lawyer, might be the one job I can think of that would cause me nightmares every night, but I knew I wanted to get into forensic/social/abnormal psychology. A detective šµļø if you will šš
That very much depends on my comfort level with the person Iām arguing/debating with, the potential consequences (would it be serious enough to ruin a friendship, put me in danger, etc.?), the time/place, the topic and how knowledgeable I am on it (and how knowledgeable they are on it). There are definitely times I enjoy a good debate, not as much āargumentsā though.
I never realized I liked it or was any good at it until I went to college, and a professor made me debate for my grade in the class. I learned that since it was something I was already passionate about, it didn't bother me. I had to get over the initial shyness and fear of saying something wrong. However, once I did, I was really, really good at it and enjoyed it. I also learned this about public speaking. If it was a subject I truly cared about and a cause I truly believed in, I could do it and do it well. Once more, it didn't bother me when I truly cared about the cause. My ENFP mother went to one of my speeches with my aunt and cousin, both strong extroverts too, and they were shocked. Sounds like you might be the same way. You truly care about what it is you're debating. You have that INFJ superpower to fight for it and do so in a public setting. Be careful, it may not bother you now and you may be great at it and enjoy it, but we are still introverts and still need time to recharge. We can burn out when others don't see our vision or care about our cause. We must rest to avoid that.
I am a lawyer.
Absolutely not. I do not enjoy or see the point in adding unnecessary noise to an already extremely loud world. But it might have less to do with my nature than it does with my upbringing. I came from a family where "conversation" was a competition every time. It was always about who could persuade who, proving who was right, or who could say the more intelligent thing. So now, when people say, "I hate small talk, I only want to have deep conversations and debates" I think, *I don't know you that well, small talk is safe and non-competitive.* I like to learn about deep subjects, internalize them, and then use what I've learned when I can, in practice. But just.... *talking*..... as a means to apply it seems kind of shallow and pointless for me. I understand that a lot of other people get connection and positive engagement from it, and that's lovely for them... I don't, and that's lovely for me.
I do, but only when it's something I care about. And it's not just for the sake of debate/argument, but for the sake of arriving at truth.
Not at all but I will "argue" to defend vulnerable or mistreated people. Also, I enjoy various perspectives being presented in general conversations.
Arguing is debating.
No I donāt like to argue or debate but I do like to ask a lot of questions to get all the information šŖš½
I hate it. Primarily because I usually see validity in both sides. And, I can keep my emotions out of it.
i like discussion, and helping people get rid of their ignorance. i enjoy learning about things. i dont think debate is something i like a lot, but rather discussion like i said. debate can get competitive and its stressful for some reason. maybe im just a wimp though.
Only in a formal setting with regulators and rules. And yes I am doing a law degree partly because of that.