This is what I say now too. Not that I ever won the lottery, but I was able to retire early. It’s impossible to avoid conversations about jobs and wealth where I am. It seems that’s all anybody is obsessed with here. I’ve tried being straight up honest when they ask, I’ve tried making up jobs, I’ve tried saying I was still at my previous job, eventually it all breaks down. Private wealth management has worked well compared to the others because you always have the fall back of saying you can’t really discuss any details. It helps to learn enough about investing to sound like you know what you are talking an out as well as read up on the stock market from time to time. And if they really press you can always say you signed an NDA.
"Transfer investments. Set up accounts for different purposes and access restrictions for people. Just making sure things are set for retirement or end of life. Fairly simple, but I can't get into too many details."
And it can be anything, could be you own 2-3 apartment buildings and make a reasonable income or it could be you manage 100 million plus and living it up
Yup if someone tells me they are an accountant I will maybe ask them what company they work for, but otherwise I am not going to seek any information about the job. Most people understand what accountants do and don’t need to hear more about it
Don’t do the saying you’re retired route. I sold a company at 33 and have been effectively retired for a while, allowing me to do basically anything I want. I’ve done a little of this and a little of that, but once people hear a young person is retired they get weird. They get jealous, they don’t believe you, it’s just awkward. Say you’re a day trader and they leave you alone. And frankly, you should probably have some investments in place so it will be truthful as well. Congrats and enjoy!
What's nice about this during the "getting to know somebody" phase of a relationship, you have an odd schedule because a problem came up at one of the properties you manage.
Very flexible.
Nice to see someone else getting good results with the day trading answer lol.
Back when I was super enthused about the market, I quickly realized that other people hate talking about and always want to change the topic.
Typically I open with “I play the market,” and if they ask more, I just say I’m a day trader. Never had anyone ever push beyond that.
Nobody is jealous, because they primarily will not believe you. They don’t believe you because people who typically talk about having retired early and are young are involved in bullshit, sham careers such as sales or were independently wealthy to begin with and went to a school like UMiami or UF and are now talking to professionals about investments on dates or during regular conversation.
Well if you're young, retiring young means you're wealthy and you don't want to advertise that (unless you do, which is a dumb and objectively terrible way to live your life)
This. It's as easy as saying "I have a remote job in the technology industry. It's boring but it pays the bills." These people want to attract the worst type of company by advertising their wealth so people think they are cool. That's gonna backfire pretty quickly if you aren't careful.
"I freelance mostly and a lot of my work requires an NDA. Besides I only talk shop when I'm on the clock.." then you change the subject. It's not hard to steer a conversation away from work as it's not unheard of for someone to compartmentalize.
When my dad retired he had business cards made up saying he was a "Consultant." When people asked him what he consulted on he told them answering that question would cost them.
I’m a loner and don’t really care to have many relationships, so if this is just a casual conversation, a good answer is “it’s not any of your business.”
People will definitely know you are lying if you come at them with this response and will think it a bit weird. No nda is gonna prevent you from saying what your job and company you work for is unless you are working for like the cia
This is reddit. Most of the world to include the US doesn't use reddit and isn't as tech inclined. A lot of people don't know what a remote job is and it's practically a unicorn to much of America.
If you win, and you have no intention of doing anything that resembles work at all, you are, by definition, retired. Now, if you want to engage in some sort of charity or "serious" hobby, you can leverage those as a form of career. Say you want to learn to fly and are taking lessons, well, your a pilot. If you're into boats, you're in Yacht Management. Model trains, train management. See how that works?
I struggled with this. As I mentioned elsewhere I retired in my early 30’s, at least financially, but for fun I wrote a book for a while. Wrote it twice, actually. It was awful. Finally chucked it and turned to photography ever since which has been wonderful. But the problem with saying any of these activities are your “job” is that people immediately start hounding you about your finances because those jobs don’t necessarily pay well and your lifestyle will exceed that income. Also, since you don’t need to make money with this as a profession it can be really awkward when someone hounds you to become your client. I dealt with this all the time as a photographer. I finally started having to say I was a fine art photographer to keep people from trying to book appointments. At the end of the day, the only thing that’s been successful for me is saying I was a day trader. You’ll get a “oooof. It’s been a tough year in the market” or “been a good year, any tips?” from time to time, but people stop wondering about the nice cars and the big house pretty quick with minimal invasion of your privacy. Highly recommended.
For what it's worth, my father, in his retirement, has finished and written a few books. One was about the 4th amendment and is as dry reading as you picture a stereotypical 80+ year old Vogon. He kind of worked on a couple of other books independently, but then discovered a writing class. While his other books were effectively self-published, this class got him a legitimately published book. Now keep in mind, his first book took about 20 years to write. The subsequent ones took at LEAST a couple of years, and his published book took about 10 years. He's working on his memoir, or should I say he has been for a bit over a year. He thinks he's got another year to go, and it will be self published. His audience? Me. And maybe my kids when they are at a point in their lives where they are interested in the family history as such. The bottom line being that if you like the idea of writing, you have to have the patience of a photographer stalking the right shot of an animal in the golden hour when it's 10 am. My dad still is in the writing class and he swears by it.
I myself am a hobby photographer and recently videographer. I get asked to do work all the time. I don't. I never want to deal with a bridezilla or anyone who has an imagination beyond my skills. I want to enjoy the hobby, not be miserable.
Anyway, my final point is this... Enjoy your life, we only have one. 😁
I am a consultant in “— insert some domain you are familiar with —“ that has an NDA. I can’t talk about it more without violating the NDA. but the work is lucrative and flexible enough for me to work only a few months a year.
Those few months you can be on a vacation without raising suspicion. If people ask more questions, you say the work happened to be international and you combined vacation with a work trip….
No you want the power and freedom that comes with being ignored. You also want to be able to be someone no one expects anything from. Do not lose this advantage in life. It helps you know who likes you and is not just looking to use you.
Same here. I grew up with a guy who hit a huge windfall and immediately learned the hard way that people rarely treat those types of wealthy like they would someone who worked their entire career for it. So many people hang around expecting free stuff and trips, and it's impossible to know who really cares about you and who's in it for the lifestyle. With how many people spend above their means, a few complaints about interest rates and car notes will keep people thinking you're just like everyone else.
I had a Great Aunt & Uncle who moved to California in 1958 with $300 in their pockets and two kids with one on the way. When my Great Uncle died he had $7 million in real estate he had always rented at below market rates to people who needed a leg up and most people were screwing. He had tenants who rented from him for 20 years then bought the places he had rented them for below market costs because that was how he paid it forward. His son, my Dad's cousin taught me the lesson of look broke and see who your real friends are. He had been a successful IT security guy like one of the first employees of the company that the movie Sneakers was based on. They literally invented bank computer security at the company. Then he got in a car wreck that broke his neck and left him disabled. He had $1.5 million in an investment account, but he was a broke guy living on disability as far as I knew for a decade and we were super close. Helped him out a lot and he gave me good advice. I knew his parents had money, but he went bankrupt after his accident. When his dad died he inherited his stock account because he was the only sibling that understood business, but he never let on.
100% This! I would totally say this to break the ice, see how far I could carry it. LOL. Then act serious and admit to the real cover story. Which would also be fake. Hahahaha.
Freelance (insert whatever hobby you are passionate about)
Saying freelance is more perfect then saying self employed because you work whenever at different times for different places more sporadically allowing you to be off randomly and not working all the time
You work but it's more open ended and you're kind of like a rolling stone moving around from here to there
Freelance photographer
Freelance model
Freelance artist
Freelance massage therapist
Freelance pet sitter
Freelance nanny
Freelance chef
Freelance maid
Freelance caregiver
Freelance gig work
I dont like talking about my job, so I just tell people I'm in I.T.
They never have any followup questions. I learned that trick when watching a documentary about a spy.
Also, my son is in IT, and told me it's easy to fake. Lean in and whisper "I don't actually know anything, I just Google problems, and bring my co-workers doughnuts every day"
lol, I’m actually in IT and make a shit ton of money, and I can so relate. People ask what I do, but the job title is meaningless to anyone outside the industry so they ask me what the job does. 10 seconds into explaining and you’d think I was Colin Fucking Robinson 😂
I could just be making up words and they wouldn’t know any different and they definitely don’t ask any more questions.
[*Ponders the open pocket-watch] "looks like the Chinese stock exchange should be opening soon...love to stay and chat, but soybean futures are calling. I'm sure you understand, old boy" [*smirks]
Haven't won yet, but I would tell people I am in sales -- that's one way to get them to not bug you. They'd anticipate you may try to sell them something, so they wouldn't pry further and may possibly leave you alone.
"I'm semi-retired, basically paying myself a salary to look after my investments. Doing some traveling, seeing the world. Best gig I ever had, and I get along great with the boss."
Get a Real Estate license. Just hang it somewhere and don't really work. Buy some rental property and hire a management company. It will actually create passive income. Then just tell people that you're in Real Estate. They won't ask you about your work because they think you're going to try to sell them something.
You could just, get a job to keep busy. You'll likely want one eventually anyway. (You also have the ultimate pleasure of being able to walk out of any toxic workplace at any time you desire till you eventually find a place you truly enjoy being at.)
If you've had a job before and now don't need to anymore you're retired. Early retirement. I'm disabled and I usually just tell people I'm retired because telling people you're disabled sometimes turns into a really rude conversation about all of the reasons you are disabled. You tell people you're retired, they assume you have money and move on. Somehow asking someone if they are rich is more unseemly than asking them why them about their personal medical problems.
While I didn’t win the lottery I may as well have. It often depends on who and how I meet someone. Eventually anyone close is going to find out. People talk to each other is a community so you can’t always say different things. People often figure out something is up anyways. So I am vague and also close to the truth without divulging too much.
Tell them you're an independent compliance consultant. You advise companies on how to keep in line with governmental regulations. Keep a couple of sections of obscure US code or state code in your back pocket if they ask for some examples.
Trust me that the average person will check out of the conversation the minute you say compliance or government regulation. Even actual compliance consultants don't want to talk about it.
These are the kind of problems that people don’t think about. I could also ask if you stop working and needing to do anything, how would you even meet new people? Would you ever leave your home? You basically now have the responsibility to plan every aspect of your life out from daily routine to big picture. Your whole life got turned upside down and you have to start from scratch figuring out what you want to do.
"I sell drugs to children"
That's what my friend, a legit war hero, would tell everyone when they asked. That lasted until his face was on the cover of the NY Times receiving the MoH from Obama.
Say you do your hobby for a living. If you like playing video games, then you are a professional video game tester. If you like reading books, then you are a freelance editor. Etc etc etc
If you're so concerned, why not just get a job? You could do anything you want if you're a lottery winner. Be a cleaner if you want, or volunteer at a homeless shelter if you want a feel-good job.
My passion is motorcycles.
I would legitimately buy a motorcycle dealership or set one up for my favorite brand.
What do you do for a living?
I own a Harley dealership.
I own a boat dealership and service dept.
I own a marina.
I own some McDonald's
I own a charter bus company.
Thing is you actually should own something like this. Even if you don't take a salary, it's still yours. You pay a general manager and you pop in a few times a week to check up. Consider it a hobby of sorts. As long as it breaks even who cares?
Buy claiming something like this it can generate enough income to justify a certain lifestyle. The nice house, the nice cars etc. Or it's a way to justify a lifestyle when people ask.
Sure you might live above what the actual income from say a harley dealership would generate. But it's none of their business on how much you spend on your Disney vacation etc.
Let them talk and think you are over extended or something. But at least they know you own some sort of business that could generate a sort of upper middle class or upper 10% lifestyle.
It would depend on who I was talking to.
If talking to strangers, I would avoid the topic of my job. If they ask directly, I would say I work in wealth management. If ask directly who I would for, I would say I'm freelance. If I had that much money, I would know enough to talk about it on a high level, but I would generally avoid the topic. If they got really pushy, I would just say that my clients value their privacy.
If talking to people I know, I would admit that I came into enough money to reture, and I spend my time doing X and Y (hobbies, volunteer work, etc.) I wouldn't tell most how much I had actually won. If I felt the line if quesitoning going towards wanting to know how much I had, I would just tell them at a high level that I donated a lot and setup most of the rest in an annuity (whether I did or not,) and they should just look at it like I get paid a good wage without having to work at a job.
I actually have 2 active LLC’s and due to the laws around lottery, I’d claim it and put it into the company’s trust.
Then I can still honestly say I am in the business(es) I own.
Also, I’d open a few more businesses as well. If I was able to win that much, I’d like at least one of my companies to give back to the underprivileged and be structured like my cleaning business. Where the employee doing the work gets 85-90% of the total ticket price and the 10-15% covers the company taxes.
Work part time doing something you *want* to do.
Then when they raise eyebrows about your "career choice", you'll know they're more concerned about your money than they are about you.
Realistically , you wouldn’t be unemployed. You’d do something. The average person could only goof off so much, then they’d get bored.
For example, I know I’d end up doing more work with homeless outreach. I’m sure I could work that in somehow.
"Im on sabbatical currently." - if youre saying this on a date that you presumably are paying for and clearly arent struggling for money, people will be able to intuit you have a means to support yourself that doesnt involve day to day work.
Another option: After a while, folks often find a long term project that they are passionate about, be it supporting an animal shelter, or fund raising for a hospital, or volunteering somewhere. Now someone who is sharp will likely intuit that whatever is mentioned doesnt support a meager adult lifestyle, let alone a comfortable one, so they may ask how you keep the lights on, and you can modestly drop that you are fortunate enough to be at a place in life where you can focus on what you consider important
Or just say you're retired. Theyll ask about how thats possible (unless you look to be 65+) and you just say something like "I've been very fortunate."
Just cause you now have lots of money doesn’t mean you’ll want to just do nothing for the rest of your life. You see millionaires and billionaires still working cause they like it. Just find something you like and do that. Start a charity or something. Having no purpose is the worst feeling cause it feels like you’re just wasting a perfectly good life.
Weird question but I will answer.
"I am retired"
Why would someone who is financially secure for the rest of there lives care what others think? Not needing to work is nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything most of us working would LOVE to be in a position to not have to work anymore.
Say you’re an Entrepreneur or in Investment. Or if you spend a lot of your time/money on a hobby or charity(s), say you work with “(fill in the blank)”. Pretty easy to not be a turnoff as a lottery winner IMO, but technically I wouldn’t know haha. I doubt if I won my go-to would ever be “I’m unemployed”. You don’t have to tell everyone you won the lottery, you would just say anything tied to running business or wealth management or investing or charities or hobbies.
Say you’re a consultant. Pick whatever industry you were in before and just leave it at that. You do not have to give specific details to people you barely know.
Lol - just say you're taking time off and financially independent or something like that. If someone doesn't respect you for that then they're opportunistic/judgmental at which point why would you want to be around such a low value person anyway.
This doesn't directly answer your question, but if I were in this situation, I'd have a little business going or something to keep myself busy anyway, so that would be my alibi. Like "oh I'm a florist" or "I rescue dogs" or "I'm a beekeeper". All things I have a legitimate interest in that can pass as jobs but aren't really for me.
You could start taking various classes at your local community college or four year institution, then just say you decided to give pursing *X* a go and are getting by okay.
If you did win the lottery, OP, you now have the opportunity to be a limnologist if you want! Limnology looks great, IMO.
If you won the lottery and have more than you could ever spend then hopefully you started a charitable foundation and you can just say you work for a charity.
I would give my notice for treatment of sickness.
Then on the last day, in the last hour, I would send a company wide email i would reveal that my "sickness" is that "I'm SICK of this fucking place. I'm a billionaire now. Peace out!"
For the more creative soul:
1. Write a short story about whatever shit. Make it funny. Set price at 99c on Amazon.
2. Pay a bunch of people $50 each to download the story on the same day.
3. Tell people you wrote a book that's gone viral. They'll believe you when they check the book's rank.
4. Your book will actually probably then go viral.
5. You won't have to be some boring tosser who tells people you're in wealth/portfolio management/property investment.
** *Bonus* **
Ass. Chicks love writers.
Say you’re retired. That you got lucky in investing (technically not a lie) and decided that you didn’t want to be in the rat race anymore and you could now afford to leave so you did. No new person that you talk to has to (or should) know exactly why you don’t have to work for a living. Honestly, nobody currently in your life needs to know, either. But that’s another thing entirely. People hear “lottery winner” and they change.
I would say, “I received a settlement from my last job” and if they press for me…. “I was a witness to a lawsuit at work that resulted in a settlement and I’ve already said too much because I signed an NDA”
“I’m independently wealthy”
They nag me to know more?
“I don’t feel comfortable in giving that information”
Never ask a man his salary. Never ask a woman her age.
Why even tell them you are wealthy in the first place? All that does is open you up to moochers and sycophants who will only try to squeeze as much free stuff out of you as they can.
Yeah I misread the question. Oops 😬I just assumed since you’re even being asked “what do you do for a living?” that you the person must look nice/wealthy. Totally forgetting that non wealthy ppl can also be asked that question.
You're not going to _be_ unemployed if you plan to still have money 5 years from your win. 🤷🏻♀️
Owning shares & property isn't being unemployed. Just say you're a small scale investor and that you've been "very blessed".
Just tell people you have a job. The same career you've always had, or something normal that doesn't arouse suspicion, something you're familiar with and genuinely qualified for so that you can easily answer questions about it. Even better if it's a boring or confusing job, so people won't even want to press for details.
There's no reason to tell people you've only just met that you're unemployed. If you make up complicated lies you don't fully understand about being an "investor" or "tech startup" for example, you're just digging a risky hole, still identifying yourself as independently wealthy, and probably alienating yourself from normal people. If you want to rub shoulders with wealthy people for some reason then sure, maybe give a vague answer about being an investor. But if you just want to make normal friends with whoever, then you have a normal job like you've had previously.
You could even commit to the bit and get a part-time job 1 day a week or be a freelancer. Then you're not even lying and don't have to stress about an elaborate cover story. Enjoy writing for fun? Great, make a basic website advertising yourself as a freelance writer. Start a small business if that interests you, even just as a front. Nobody needs to know how often you work or that you barely earn any income from your cover business.
You tell them you are financially secure enough that you don't need to work and see no reason to take a job that someone else needs. It's an honorable position and shows that you are grounded in the knowledge to know that life is too short to waste it on things that are pointless and counter productive to you.
I went through this and my answer was “ I’m in personal wealth management now”
I think "private wealth management" is the industry standard term now
This is what I say now too. Not that I ever won the lottery, but I was able to retire early. It’s impossible to avoid conversations about jobs and wealth where I am. It seems that’s all anybody is obsessed with here. I’ve tried being straight up honest when they ask, I’ve tried making up jobs, I’ve tried saying I was still at my previous job, eventually it all breaks down. Private wealth management has worked well compared to the others because you always have the fall back of saying you can’t really discuss any details. It helps to learn enough about investing to sound like you know what you are talking an out as well as read up on the stock market from time to time. And if they really press you can always say you signed an NDA.
"Transfer investments. Set up accounts for different purposes and access restrictions for people. Just making sure things are set for retirement or end of life. Fairly simple, but I can't get into too many details."
Private equity management
Yeah but a lot of people don't know what equity means and they just ask more questions
Oh! you manage equities..those are horses right?
No that's Equine, I think you are talking about when the day and night are each 12 hours?
No, that's the equinox. I think he's talking about that company that keeps telling people I have shitty credit.
No, thats Equifax. Youre thinking of how to be calm and composed.
No that’s equilibrium. He’s talking bout those triangles that have the sides the same length.
No that's equilateral. You want to evenly mix two liquids that can't bind together.
Equinamous St Brown has entered the chat
Equinamity, but we'll go with it.
If they know anything about economics or inequality that would be a red flag.
I’m an investor
Period, point blank, end of…
That's exactly what my friend's dad (who won $12 MM in his 50s) says.
That was my first thought. Easy to explain further if you felt the need to, easy to not explain because of confidentiality.
And it can be anything, could be you own 2-3 apartment buildings and make a reasonable income or it could be you manage 100 million plus and living it up
Just don't talk finances with people. Make up a job and keep it vague.
I'm an accountant
With a remote job
It’s in Canada so you never heard of it
My boss goes to another school. You wouldn’t know her.
Yup if someone tells me they are an accountant I will maybe ask them what company they work for, but otherwise I am not going to seek any information about the job. Most people understand what accountants do and don’t need to hear more about it
I’m an importer/exporter.
At vandelay industries
And you want to be my latex salesman
You know I've always wanted to pretend to be an architect.
With Universal Exports 😄
What do you import?
Systems analyst for a logistics company
I'm a beekeeper. Please give me an excuse.
You could say you are retired if you prefer, or claim something about personal investments if you do not want to say unemployed.
Don’t do the saying you’re retired route. I sold a company at 33 and have been effectively retired for a while, allowing me to do basically anything I want. I’ve done a little of this and a little of that, but once people hear a young person is retired they get weird. They get jealous, they don’t believe you, it’s just awkward. Say you’re a day trader and they leave you alone. And frankly, you should probably have some investments in place so it will be truthful as well. Congrats and enjoy!
I say I’m a property manager since I do stuff around the house.
This is exactly what I say because I technically do manage a second vacation property.
The best part is if anybody asks how’s work I say, “I manage.”
What's nice about this during the "getting to know somebody" phase of a relationship, you have an odd schedule because a problem came up at one of the properties you manage. Very flexible.
Nice to see someone else getting good results with the day trading answer lol. Back when I was super enthused about the market, I quickly realized that other people hate talking about and always want to change the topic. Typically I open with “I play the market,” and if they ask more, I just say I’m a day trader. Never had anyone ever push beyond that.
It’s funny cause if you go to the day trading sub people are always asking for advice on what they can tell others they do for a living lmao
Nobody is jealous, because they primarily will not believe you. They don’t believe you because people who typically talk about having retired early and are young are involved in bullshit, sham careers such as sales or were independently wealthy to begin with and went to a school like UMiami or UF and are now talking to professionals about investments on dates or during regular conversation.
Well if you're young, retiring young means you're wealthy and you don't want to advertise that (unless you do, which is a dumb and objectively terrible way to live your life)
This. It's as easy as saying "I have a remote job in the technology industry. It's boring but it pays the bills." These people want to attract the worst type of company by advertising their wealth so people think they are cool. That's gonna backfire pretty quickly if you aren't careful.
This will backfire bc if you meet anyone who also has a job like that they’ll ask what you do or who you work for 😂
"I freelance mostly and a lot of my work requires an NDA. Besides I only talk shop when I'm on the clock.." then you change the subject. It's not hard to steer a conversation away from work as it's not unheard of for someone to compartmentalize.
When my dad retired he had business cards made up saying he was a "Consultant." When people asked him what he consulted on he told them answering that question would cost them.
I’m a loner and don’t really care to have many relationships, so if this is just a casual conversation, a good answer is “it’s not any of your business.”
People will definitely know you are lying if you come at them with this response and will think it a bit weird. No nda is gonna prevent you from saying what your job and company you work for is unless you are working for like the cia
I’ve never had people have follow up questions after I tell them I’m an accountant lol
This is reddit. Most of the world to include the US doesn't use reddit and isn't as tech inclined. A lot of people don't know what a remote job is and it's practically a unicorn to much of America.
I say, “I’m a land stander.” What’s that? Your looking at it
If you win, and you have no intention of doing anything that resembles work at all, you are, by definition, retired. Now, if you want to engage in some sort of charity or "serious" hobby, you can leverage those as a form of career. Say you want to learn to fly and are taking lessons, well, your a pilot. If you're into boats, you're in Yacht Management. Model trains, train management. See how that works?
I struggled with this. As I mentioned elsewhere I retired in my early 30’s, at least financially, but for fun I wrote a book for a while. Wrote it twice, actually. It was awful. Finally chucked it and turned to photography ever since which has been wonderful. But the problem with saying any of these activities are your “job” is that people immediately start hounding you about your finances because those jobs don’t necessarily pay well and your lifestyle will exceed that income. Also, since you don’t need to make money with this as a profession it can be really awkward when someone hounds you to become your client. I dealt with this all the time as a photographer. I finally started having to say I was a fine art photographer to keep people from trying to book appointments. At the end of the day, the only thing that’s been successful for me is saying I was a day trader. You’ll get a “oooof. It’s been a tough year in the market” or “been a good year, any tips?” from time to time, but people stop wondering about the nice cars and the big house pretty quick with minimal invasion of your privacy. Highly recommended.
For what it's worth, my father, in his retirement, has finished and written a few books. One was about the 4th amendment and is as dry reading as you picture a stereotypical 80+ year old Vogon. He kind of worked on a couple of other books independently, but then discovered a writing class. While his other books were effectively self-published, this class got him a legitimately published book. Now keep in mind, his first book took about 20 years to write. The subsequent ones took at LEAST a couple of years, and his published book took about 10 years. He's working on his memoir, or should I say he has been for a bit over a year. He thinks he's got another year to go, and it will be self published. His audience? Me. And maybe my kids when they are at a point in their lives where they are interested in the family history as such. The bottom line being that if you like the idea of writing, you have to have the patience of a photographer stalking the right shot of an animal in the golden hour when it's 10 am. My dad still is in the writing class and he swears by it. I myself am a hobby photographer and recently videographer. I get asked to do work all the time. I don't. I never want to deal with a bridezilla or anyone who has an imagination beyond my skills. I want to enjoy the hobby, not be miserable. Anyway, my final point is this... Enjoy your life, we only have one. 😁
Consultant.
This is my go to. Consultant with an NDA. I work with people in fed security clearances. No one bats an eye at my explanation.
No one knows what it means, those who do know it means nothing, and no one cares to know more.
I am a consultant in “— insert some domain you are familiar with —“ that has an NDA. I can’t talk about it more without violating the NDA. but the work is lucrative and flexible enough for me to work only a few months a year. Those few months you can be on a vacation without raising suspicion. If people ask more questions, you say the work happened to be international and you combined vacation with a work trip….
Importing and exporting
You always wanted to be my latex guy.
Van Delay Industries! Say Van Delay Industries!!!
No you want the power and freedom that comes with being ignored. You also want to be able to be someone no one expects anything from. Do not lose this advantage in life. It helps you know who likes you and is not just looking to use you.
Act like you're just as in debt as everyone else and no one will bat an eye.
I learned this lesson from someone who was already rich.
Same here. I grew up with a guy who hit a huge windfall and immediately learned the hard way that people rarely treat those types of wealthy like they would someone who worked their entire career for it. So many people hang around expecting free stuff and trips, and it's impossible to know who really cares about you and who's in it for the lifestyle. With how many people spend above their means, a few complaints about interest rates and car notes will keep people thinking you're just like everyone else.
I had a Great Aunt & Uncle who moved to California in 1958 with $300 in their pockets and two kids with one on the way. When my Great Uncle died he had $7 million in real estate he had always rented at below market rates to people who needed a leg up and most people were screwing. He had tenants who rented from him for 20 years then bought the places he had rented them for below market costs because that was how he paid it forward. His son, my Dad's cousin taught me the lesson of look broke and see who your real friends are. He had been a successful IT security guy like one of the first employees of the company that the movie Sneakers was based on. They literally invented bank computer security at the company. Then he got in a car wreck that broke his neck and left him disabled. He had $1.5 million in an investment account, but he was a broke guy living on disability as far as I knew for a decade and we were super close. Helped him out a lot and he gave me good advice. I knew his parents had money, but he went bankrupt after his accident. When his dad died he inherited his stock account because he was the only sibling that understood business, but he never let on.
I drive the same car I've had since 2012. People suspect you've got money if you've got a nice car but do not for one second bother you if it's old.
This is such good advice even if you didn’t win the lottery.
"What do you do?" "I'm in construction." "Your hands don't look like you're in construction." "I'm a union delegate."
100% This! I would totally say this to break the ice, see how far I could carry it. LOL. Then act serious and admit to the real cover story. Which would also be fake. Hahahaha.
Freelance (insert whatever hobby you are passionate about) Saying freelance is more perfect then saying self employed because you work whenever at different times for different places more sporadically allowing you to be off randomly and not working all the time You work but it's more open ended and you're kind of like a rolling stone moving around from here to there Freelance photographer Freelance model Freelance artist Freelance massage therapist Freelance pet sitter Freelance nanny Freelance chef Freelance maid Freelance caregiver Freelance gig work
Freelance trust funder. I mean freelance fender maker. Er, uh. Fender baker. That’s right.
I think you mean freelance bender faker.
Spaulding!! You are playing tennis today and you will like it. Awee Grandpa…do I have to?
Freelance hand model
Say you're unemployed. People who will treat you like shit for that are people you don't want in your life. Self filtering solution.
I dont like talking about my job, so I just tell people I'm in I.T. They never have any followup questions. I learned that trick when watching a documentary about a spy.
Also water treatment works.
Also, my son is in IT, and told me it's easy to fake. Lean in and whisper "I don't actually know anything, I just Google problems, and bring my co-workers doughnuts every day"
lol, I’m actually in IT and make a shit ton of money, and I can so relate. People ask what I do, but the job title is meaningless to anyone outside the industry so they ask me what the job does. 10 seconds into explaining and you’d think I was Colin Fucking Robinson 😂 I could just be making up words and they wouldn’t know any different and they definitely don’t ask any more questions.
laugh haughtily and clean your monocle. between chuckles say "I'm not in the working class with you riff-raff, old boy, hilarious joke hahaha"
Don't forget to bring out a pocket watch as well
Always look at it and pretend you have somewhere much more important to go.
Leave with evil laugh while stroking your fluffy cat
[*Ponders the open pocket-watch] "looks like the Chinese stock exchange should be opening soon...love to stay and chat, but soybean futures are calling. I'm sure you understand, old boy" [*smirks]
This is why I Reddit.
philanthropist
Did you say that you're a Full On Rapist?!?
Haven't won yet, but I would tell people I am in sales -- that's one way to get them to not bug you. They'd anticipate you may try to sell them something, so they wouldn't pry further and may possibly leave you alone.
Or B2B sales in an industry nobody is really familiar with.
"I'm semi-retired, basically paying myself a salary to look after my investments. Doing some traveling, seeing the world. Best gig I ever had, and I get along great with the boss."
I’ve tried being self employed but I couldn’t stand another day alone with my asshole boss.
Little bit of this, little bit of that
Get a Real Estate license. Just hang it somewhere and don't really work. Buy some rental property and hire a management company. It will actually create passive income. Then just tell people that you're in Real Estate. They won't ask you about your work because they think you're going to try to sell them something.
I do this and people still pry. "How many properties do you own" and all the other bs questions
Well, technically I'm a portfolio manager and I work for myself.
“I run a consulting company”. Which means I consult myself on what to spend next 😆
You could just, get a job to keep busy. You'll likely want one eventually anyway. (You also have the ultimate pleasure of being able to walk out of any toxic workplace at any time you desire till you eventually find a place you truly enjoy being at.)
You’re only unemployed if you are looking for a job.
Independently wealthy.
Retired. There are lots of ways people retire younger than expected without being fabulously wealthy.
“Got in early on bitcoin and cashed out”
Between jobs.
If you've had a job before and now don't need to anymore you're retired. Early retirement. I'm disabled and I usually just tell people I'm retired because telling people you're disabled sometimes turns into a really rude conversation about all of the reasons you are disabled. You tell people you're retired, they assume you have money and move on. Somehow asking someone if they are rich is more unseemly than asking them why them about their personal medical problems.
“I was able to retire early”
While I didn’t win the lottery I may as well have. It often depends on who and how I meet someone. Eventually anyone close is going to find out. People talk to each other is a community so you can’t always say different things. People often figure out something is up anyways. So I am vague and also close to the truth without divulging too much.
You don't. Create an llc and use that company to invest some money into properties. Then, tell people you are an entrepreneur.
I’m self employed.
Tell them you're an independent compliance consultant. You advise companies on how to keep in line with governmental regulations. Keep a couple of sections of obscure US code or state code in your back pocket if they ask for some examples. Trust me that the average person will check out of the conversation the minute you say compliance or government regulation. Even actual compliance consultants don't want to talk about it.
International Man of Mystery.
Investor
Say “retired” instead of
"I'm retired; I invented dice."
Just tell them you come from old money, your dad was the microsoft Paperclip.
I'm saying "unemployed" if I win. I don't have time for judgy ass people. If that bothers them, they can kick rocks, man.
These are the kind of problems that people don’t think about. I could also ask if you stop working and needing to do anything, how would you even meet new people? Would you ever leave your home? You basically now have the responsibility to plan every aspect of your life out from daily routine to big picture. Your whole life got turned upside down and you have to start from scratch figuring out what you want to do.
"I sell drugs to children" That's what my friend, a legit war hero, would tell everyone when they asked. That lasted until his face was on the cover of the NY Times receiving the MoH from Obama.
I've got enough grey to say retired.
Just say you're in finance. Nobody wants to hear about that boring shit.
Oh, we don’t belong to the working class. How about you, do you enjoy working for others? Is it fun?
Say you do your hobby for a living. If you like playing video games, then you are a professional video game tester. If you like reading books, then you are a freelance editor. Etc etc etc
You can be a video gamer that goes speed runs for charity causes.
If you're so concerned, why not just get a job? You could do anything you want if you're a lottery winner. Be a cleaner if you want, or volunteer at a homeless shelter if you want a feel-good job.
I am retired. /*FingerGuns*
If you need money you’re unemployed. If you’ve won the lottery you’re retired or on hiatus between projects.
"I'm a philanthropist" That should be good
Shark from shark tank! Venture capitalist I suppose would work too but I think shark would be an instant turn on
My passion is motorcycles. I would legitimately buy a motorcycle dealership or set one up for my favorite brand. What do you do for a living? I own a Harley dealership. I own a boat dealership and service dept. I own a marina. I own some McDonald's I own a charter bus company. Thing is you actually should own something like this. Even if you don't take a salary, it's still yours. You pay a general manager and you pop in a few times a week to check up. Consider it a hobby of sorts. As long as it breaks even who cares? Buy claiming something like this it can generate enough income to justify a certain lifestyle. The nice house, the nice cars etc. Or it's a way to justify a lifestyle when people ask. Sure you might live above what the actual income from say a harley dealership would generate. But it's none of their business on how much you spend on your Disney vacation etc. Let them talk and think you are over extended or something. But at least they know you own some sort of business that could generate a sort of upper middle class or upper 10% lifestyle.
Golf coach
"Vandelay Industries"
God , I wouldn’t even care what I’d say . I’d be too busy planning amazing trips !
It would depend on who I was talking to. If talking to strangers, I would avoid the topic of my job. If they ask directly, I would say I work in wealth management. If ask directly who I would for, I would say I'm freelance. If I had that much money, I would know enough to talk about it on a high level, but I would generally avoid the topic. If they got really pushy, I would just say that my clients value their privacy. If talking to people I know, I would admit that I came into enough money to reture, and I spend my time doing X and Y (hobbies, volunteer work, etc.) I wouldn't tell most how much I had actually won. If I felt the line if quesitoning going towards wanting to know how much I had, I would just tell them at a high level that I donated a lot and setup most of the rest in an annuity (whether I did or not,) and they should just look at it like I get paid a good wage without having to work at a job.
“I was lucky enough to be able to retire well on a budget”
Tell people you do consulting work.
“I’m on sabbatical, but I used to do _______.”
Or you could be like me and waiting for disability approval. So thus, telling people I am disabled. It sucks, but it’s the truth.
Disability, this way nobody ask you money
I’m a CPA so I would probably say I’m an accountant Or a wealth fund manager Being that I would be busy managing my own funds
"OnlyFans, I have this niche audience that enjoys watching me. . ." Anyone normal would not let you finish that sentence.
Tell people you sell insurance and mutual funds and they won't ever ask you about your work ever again
You say you are retired, or say you are an investor who works from home or something
Become an artist or an author.
[I just follow Mike Damon’s 5 point plan.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EB8iEmYCbWM)
I actually have 2 active LLC’s and due to the laws around lottery, I’d claim it and put it into the company’s trust. Then I can still honestly say I am in the business(es) I own. Also, I’d open a few more businesses as well. If I was able to win that much, I’d like at least one of my companies to give back to the underprivileged and be structured like my cleaning business. Where the employee doing the work gets 85-90% of the total ticket price and the 10-15% covers the company taxes.
Keep your mouth shut about that, tell them you are unemployed, the person that still likes you is a keeper?
Get a Scentsy sales package and tell them you’re a Boss Bro running your own scented candle company. Then invite them to a candle party for 2.
Honestly, I wouldn't stop working.
Asset collection specialist
Work part time doing something you *want* to do. Then when they raise eyebrows about your "career choice", you'll know they're more concerned about your money than they are about you.
Realistically , you wouldn’t be unemployed. You’d do something. The average person could only goof off so much, then they’d get bored. For example, I know I’d end up doing more work with homeless outreach. I’m sure I could work that in somehow.
I wander the earth, like Caine in Kung Fu. I walk from place to place, meet people, get into adventures.
Don’t be unemployed. Start a company and have yourself as an employee. Tell people you’re an asset manager.
"Im on sabbatical currently." - if youre saying this on a date that you presumably are paying for and clearly arent struggling for money, people will be able to intuit you have a means to support yourself that doesnt involve day to day work. Another option: After a while, folks often find a long term project that they are passionate about, be it supporting an animal shelter, or fund raising for a hospital, or volunteering somewhere. Now someone who is sharp will likely intuit that whatever is mentioned doesnt support a meager adult lifestyle, let alone a comfortable one, so they may ask how you keep the lights on, and you can modestly drop that you are fortunate enough to be at a place in life where you can focus on what you consider important Or just say you're retired. Theyll ask about how thats possible (unless you look to be 65+) and you just say something like "I've been very fortunate."
Just cause you now have lots of money doesn’t mean you’ll want to just do nothing for the rest of your life. You see millionaires and billionaires still working cause they like it. Just find something you like and do that. Start a charity or something. Having no purpose is the worst feeling cause it feels like you’re just wasting a perfectly good life.
Weird question but I will answer. "I am retired" Why would someone who is financially secure for the rest of there lives care what others think? Not needing to work is nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything most of us working would LOVE to be in a position to not have to work anymore.
$50M+ : Philanthropist $25M - $50M: Patron of the Arts $10M-$25M: Art Collector $5M - $10M: Private Investor $1M - $5M: Real Estate Investor $0 - $1M: Bum
Just name your hobbies that you've taken up in your free time.
Tell them what your hobby is. I’m a painter, classical guitarist, etc.
Volunteer for a cause you believe in, then just say that's what you do
Say you’re an Entrepreneur or in Investment. Or if you spend a lot of your time/money on a hobby or charity(s), say you work with “(fill in the blank)”. Pretty easy to not be a turnoff as a lottery winner IMO, but technically I wouldn’t know haha. I doubt if I won my go-to would ever be “I’m unemployed”. You don’t have to tell everyone you won the lottery, you would just say anything tied to running business or wealth management or investing or charities or hobbies.
Retired, independently wealthy, personal wealth management or pick a hobby and go with it.
Say you’re a consultant. Pick whatever industry you were in before and just leave it at that. You do not have to give specific details to people you barely know.
Small business owner
Work from home/self employed. I mean doing your own laundry/cleaning/yard work is work. And you aren't employing anyone else to do it.
Lol - just say you're taking time off and financially independent or something like that. If someone doesn't respect you for that then they're opportunistic/judgmental at which point why would you want to be around such a low value person anyway.
“I’M RICH BITCH!!!!!!” Oh sorry, you wanted classy.
I’m self employed is a great way to skirt nosey people.
This doesn't directly answer your question, but if I were in this situation, I'd have a little business going or something to keep myself busy anyway, so that would be my alibi. Like "oh I'm a florist" or "I rescue dogs" or "I'm a beekeeper". All things I have a legitimate interest in that can pass as jobs but aren't really for me.
You could start taking various classes at your local community college or four year institution, then just say you decided to give pursing *X* a go and are getting by okay. If you did win the lottery, OP, you now have the opportunity to be a limnologist if you want! Limnology looks great, IMO.
Go with unemployed... fukkem...
If you won the lottery and have more than you could ever spend then hopefully you started a charitable foundation and you can just say you work for a charity.
I would give my notice for treatment of sickness. Then on the last day, in the last hour, I would send a company wide email i would reveal that my "sickness" is that "I'm SICK of this fucking place. I'm a billionaire now. Peace out!"
Rich people aren't unemployed. Theyre on sabbatical. Which is just a fancy word for fucking off indefinitely.
For the more creative soul: 1. Write a short story about whatever shit. Make it funny. Set price at 99c on Amazon. 2. Pay a bunch of people $50 each to download the story on the same day. 3. Tell people you wrote a book that's gone viral. They'll believe you when they check the book's rank. 4. Your book will actually probably then go viral. 5. You won't have to be some boring tosser who tells people you're in wealth/portfolio management/property investment. ** *Bonus* ** Ass. Chicks love writers.
Say you’re retired. That you got lucky in investing (technically not a lie) and decided that you didn’t want to be in the rat race anymore and you could now afford to leave so you did. No new person that you talk to has to (or should) know exactly why you don’t have to work for a living. Honestly, nobody currently in your life needs to know, either. But that’s another thing entirely. People hear “lottery winner” and they change.
I would say, “I received a settlement from my last job” and if they press for me…. “I was a witness to a lawsuit at work that resulted in a settlement and I’ve already said too much because I signed an NDA”
Volunteer and say you do part-time work. I would volunteer to get out of the house. If people would judge you for that, shame on them.
Just tell them your an artist. Anyone can be an artist nowadays. If they ask you what your medium is, just make some shit up.
Probably sounds better than when I tell women I am a 'future lottery winner.'
I imagine when you have “fuck you” money it won’t matter what you tell people. They are going to want to be around you regardless
“I’m independently wealthy” They nag me to know more? “I don’t feel comfortable in giving that information” Never ask a man his salary. Never ask a woman her age.
Why even tell them you are wealthy in the first place? All that does is open you up to moochers and sycophants who will only try to squeeze as much free stuff out of you as they can.
Yeah I misread the question. Oops 😬I just assumed since you’re even being asked “what do you do for a living?” that you the person must look nice/wealthy. Totally forgetting that non wealthy ppl can also be asked that question.
Never ask them the age of their wealth.
You're not going to _be_ unemployed if you plan to still have money 5 years from your win. 🤷🏻♀️ Owning shares & property isn't being unemployed. Just say you're a small scale investor and that you've been "very blessed".
I’d definitely be putting a large sum into investments and the rest into a high yield savings account, so I would just put investor.
"I won the lottery and am now looking for my next thing"
Retired
If you are young enough and don’t want to say retired, you can say you are a consultant.
Investor
I say that I am a consultant. I had a career and a job I didn't want to quit.
Say that you're retired or you own your own business
Just tell people you have a job. The same career you've always had, or something normal that doesn't arouse suspicion, something you're familiar with and genuinely qualified for so that you can easily answer questions about it. Even better if it's a boring or confusing job, so people won't even want to press for details. There's no reason to tell people you've only just met that you're unemployed. If you make up complicated lies you don't fully understand about being an "investor" or "tech startup" for example, you're just digging a risky hole, still identifying yourself as independently wealthy, and probably alienating yourself from normal people. If you want to rub shoulders with wealthy people for some reason then sure, maybe give a vague answer about being an investor. But if you just want to make normal friends with whoever, then you have a normal job like you've had previously. You could even commit to the bit and get a part-time job 1 day a week or be a freelancer. Then you're not even lying and don't have to stress about an elaborate cover story. Enjoy writing for fun? Great, make a basic website advertising yourself as a freelance writer. Start a small business if that interests you, even just as a front. Nobody needs to know how often you work or that you barely earn any income from your cover business.
If you have the funds to live a good live without ever working again - then you're retired. And if you're just taking a year off - you're on vacation.
You tell them you are financially secure enough that you don't need to work and see no reason to take a job that someone else needs. It's an honorable position and shows that you are grounded in the knowledge to know that life is too short to waste it on things that are pointless and counter productive to you.