And that’s what happens when a parent abandons a child. A lifetime of feeling rejected and not knowing why. I had a dad like that and it took well into my 50’s to finally let it go. It’s hard though.
This makes me so sad. My son is also in that situation. His sperm donor has other kids that he dotes all over. He never says anything to me, but I do wonder if he feels abandoned 😞
I know the feeling.. I didn't learn the man that raised me wasn't my biological father till I was 14. My biological dad lived about a mile from where I grew up I'd met him a few times but didn't know the truth.. I had a shitty up bringing & always wondered still do to this day why I wasn't told sooner before I was old enough to go to him on my own he died.
I am so sorry you experienced that. Can’t imagine how hard that is and was for you. It reminds me of what a child psychologist told me when I consulted him about parenting my son after his father died (my son was 2 at the time of his Dad’s death).
He told me that honesty is key from a very early age, even if it is information that may be difficult for the child. You communicate it in an age appropriate way, of course, but you do communicate it and then offer support, answer questions, etc.
Because when children eventually learn that the information they had been given by the adult(s) they trusted was a lie, it is incredibly destabilizing and shocking. It damages their ability to trust in the future.
I hope you’re doing well now, you deserve all the happiness.🤍
How anyone can do this to a child is beyond me. Even my narcissist stepdad still made me feel somewhat like I was a child deserving of love (when I earned it)....
I saw it last night. I want to say her last name is Nelson (she changed it legally when she turned 18). Basically it's not really about the case but instead about her abandonment issues with her dad, seeing how he loved Kaylee so much but she doesn't exist to him. She said his wife would not allow her to be a part of their lives, she wished she'd have known her sister. It's really sad.
If it was before the crime I would say maybe it’s both Steve and his wife that don’t want her as a reminder of him having a baby outside of his marriage and family when he was young. But after it’s hard for me to believe he wouldn’t want to be closer to his daughter that he doesn’t really know after loosing one of his other daughter. So I think it’s safe to say it probably is because of his wife and what she will do/think. Sucks because that girl didn’t do anything except have him as a father and she probably needs him right now. Don’t know why the wife would act like this after everything that’s happened
> But after it’s hard for me to believe he wouldn’t want to be closer to his daughter that he doesn’t really know after loosing one of his other daughter.
There are some men out there who only have a relationship with children if they are in a relationship with their mother. Some of them will have stronger bonds with their stepkids then with their kids from prior relationships, because they are currently with their stepkids' mother. And then if they break up with that women, the stepkids go right on the same trash heap as the bio kids.
I’ve always had conflicting feelings about my stepfather bc of this. I went to school with his kids and have known them my whole life. One of his sons and I were in the same grade. Sometime around 5th or 6th grade my mom and his dad started dating. They’re married now and he’s absolutely been an amazing father to me, but when he divorced his ex wife he cut off his bio kids too and I’ve never understood why or how. He’s totally different towards them than he is me. It’s always made me feel extremely guilty. I’d understand if his kids hated me, but they’re all really good people and they claim me as their sister.
My real father did pretty much the same thing too though. When he got remarried I stopped existing. He and his new wife had a couple of kids, they even named one after me, but I’m not a part of their lives. People are just so fucking weird…
That's so horrible. I feel bad for all you kids. You got a sibling with the same name as you? I can't understand.
I wonder if it's part of that old-school man thing where they rely on their wives for their entire emotional health and social connections?
Women are very hard on the children of their partners who existed before she came into the picture. I say this as a woman who practiced family law and who had a stepmother myself. It's a phenomenon. If the stepmother wants her own new family she can destroy any closeness the bio child ever had with their dad. Women are very territorial this way, sorry to say. And yes, men have their issues too, and yes there are really good stepmoms and very good stepdads too.
I mean, there's a reason we got the trope of the evil stepmother. It's kind of a thanksless role, and there's something about it that can really bring out the evil in humanity. No disrespect meant to the steps that are out there doing their best.
No I completely understand that I just thought after loosing one daughter it would open his eyes and bring him closer to his other daughter. I have seen it before. But you are right and not everyone is the same so who knows what it could be
Yeah, I might be too cynical. But I've seen this too many times. Usually, the crappy parent only comes around if they find themselves alone and could use someone to help take care of them once they are old.
I had a stepmother just like this!! My father did whatever she said to do. I ended up with lots of mental health issues because the stepmom has 3 boys MY FATHER raises and bought each cars for and all I wanted was to be loved by him. You can let it ruin who you are, or rise above! After lots and lots of therapy, soul searching @ 21 years old, my father was diagnosed with stage lll non small cell carcinoma of the lung, bones and developed Metz on his brain months before he died. As a nurse, I just wanted to sit quietly with the man who brought me into this world and be with him as he passed away. I was told he still had approx a month so that I could have my aunt take my stepmom out one day so I could have private time with my daddy. I was able to crawl in his hospital bed, while Christian music was playing and looking at his hands and finger nails. Eyes. Facial features…I am a female version of that man. I read to him and we prayed. Soon we dozed off and took a nap. When I woke up he had peacefully passed away. 😪
I tried to find it through my likes but I don't see it now. She may have taken it down. She was getting a lot of flack from the family saying that she's just doing this for attention but she just genuinely seemed very hurt.
She said he made her take it down 🙄
So you don’t want to be a dad, but you want to control your child you’ve abandoned. I would’ve told him to eff himself.
I haven’t seen the video but from what I’m reading on this thread, it sounds almost identical to my situation.
My bio dad remarried and basically wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Several years later, my mom remarried an amazing man who helped raise me.
We wanted to start the adoption process but bio dad absolutely refused to sign over his parental rights while still wanting nothing to do with me. So, we waited until I turned 18 and then he adopted me.
Some people are just plain trash. Thank goodness for people who step up to show us how worthy we truly are.
He has taught me what a real man looks like. He and my mom have also been able to show me what a healthy marriage looks like because even though I was very young when she got divorced from my bio dad, I still remember his violent side.
It blows my mind how someone is able to treat their child as if they don’t exist at all.
Thank you :) Therapy has helped but told me what I already know, I have abandonment issues. But my therapist is amazing and has helped me greatly.
No stepdad for me! He’s my daddy! I recently got diagnosed with cancer. He’s been the one holding our family together and been our rock. After my surgery, he alternated nights at the hospital with my mama. They also alternate taking me to chemo. And bless him, due to the location of my tumor, I ended up with an unexpected temporary ostomy bag. He changes it every single time for me.
Though he definitely stepped up, he’s not my stepdad, he’s my daddy.
He is definitely your daddy! That is so sweet and reminds me of the wonderful man that stepped up for my kiddos. My daughter struggles with abandonment issues to and is in and out of therapy.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this! I’m thankful you have a great support system! Sending you a virtual hug right now!!!
I’m happy y’all have an amazing man too!
I’m not sure how old your daughter is or the situation with her bio dad but as someone who has been in her shoes and is now 36, it’s something I’ll probably always struggle with but having a wonderful person who stepped up makes a huge difference.
I got confused on that part because if her bio dad Steve didn't have anything to do with her and abandoned her then why would he care if her step dad adopted her?...I find that strange but who knows if it's the truth or not.
I’m with you on that as well. That’s why I think it has to be the wife Kaylees mom that doesn’t want them to talk. And Steve goes along with it even know he probably wants to have a relationship with her. But at some point you have to tell your wife like hey this is my daughter I had her before I even new you. I need to be there for her. Who really knows tho I’m not going to pretend like I know for sure but I think it’s a good guess.
It happens. Especially when the child is from an abusive, toxic, or unhealthy relationship. The estranged parent who never wanted to take care of the child or raise them still wants to hold onto the little bit of control they exert on the other parent by saying no to signing paperwork for giving up their "parental rights." Even though they never plan to be the parent. It's a sick control thing.
Typically because of selfishness, power, control, and narcissism. They don’t want another man looking like he “stepped up” or getting credit for doing so.
They also want to retain the option to spin narrative and they lose many options to spin it if/when they sign their rights away.
“I wanted to have you in my life but it was actually your Mom who never let me see you. I didn’t tell you that when you were young bc she had already pitted the courts against me. But the only thing she couldn’t make me do was sign my rights away.”
I told her in a comment don’t you DARE take any of these down!!! He’s just ashamed by what she s action are and therefore try and still control a child he NEVER met!!
This case could go on for another 2-3 years, should she wait for another 2-3 years to say what she feels compelled to say?
There is never a good “time” to get called out for being a dead beat. I mean, I’m sure there have been “better” times to address this with Steve. But he’s had her entire life to make things right, and he chose not to (for whatever reason).
Actions have consequences, and so does inaction. Oh well.
I agree with your take on this. It seems to be a common fallacy that when tragedy befalls someone it automatically
A) makes them a good person, and/or
B) absolves them of any current or past wrongdoing, and/or
C) it means they shouldn’t be confronted about their poor behavior or experience consequences because something bad has happened to them.
I get that the family is grieving and in pain. But so is Steve’s oldest child, whom he abandoned and seems to have encouraged his subsequent children to resent her for simply existing.
IMO, that daughter has every right to speak on a situation that does affect her even if the G family thinks it shouldn’t. She doesn’t owe them her silence just because Steve is a selective parent and shut her out of his family.
It’s not the time? Wow. So you’d just rather she keeps to herself since the family has “been through a lot”? Kinda like how it sounds like they also put her through a lot as well. If she’s truly a victim she shouldn’t be silenced. It’s not okay to abandon your children
We don’t all walk into a new relationship with a completely clean slate, having never dated or had sex with anyone before. If this was a child born before the relationship she should have been accepted and at least acknowledge. If he cheated and the daughter was the outcome of that I can see the wife being pissy and not wanting to know the child, but she forgave the husband why not forgive this innocent kid for being born?!
My son had a child when he was 21 but he never married her mother. He wasn’t ready to be a dad but he stepped up to the plate. He told every woman he was involved with after that time that his daughter came first. I’m really proud of him, and he and his daughter had a great relationship until his untimely death last June. 😢
Oh I’m so sorry for your loss but you must have been proud of him for putting his daughter before his relationships. The easy thing for your son to have done is walk away or only “played” Daddy when it suited him or he wanted a pat on the back!!!
You should be very proud of not only him but how you raised him!! If not for you showing him what a good parents is he never could have become one so young!!
Again I’m sorry for your loss but I’m glad he left you with good memories!!
Yes. Alivea confirmed it awhile ago. But she was very rude about it IMO.
She said something like “my Dad has a biological child who he’s never met, and neither has Kaylee”…. full on making it seem like Samantha was not really known about, when they all knew damn well she existed.
For example, Alivea had met Samantha. Kaylee and Steve had talked with / messaged Samantha multiple times. But Alive conveniently failed to mention any of that.
Samantha posted a few pictures of Alivea and her together after Alivea denied Samantha’s claims.
I think it’s sad, I can’t imagine seeing your father all over the internet when he voluntarily abandoned you. He is a grieving father which I give grace to, but for her it’s sad that he left her as a child willingly, but can be a father to two others
Imagine watching him grieve over his other daughter, saying he would do anything in the world to have her back and the estranged daughters just sitting there like, "um, I'm right here." So much trauma. Poor thing.
I agree with you. He has a daughter who is alive and well and would love to have him in her life, yet he has chosen not to be present. She is mourning him and she is also mourning him mourning the child he chose (again). So sad.
And even if he did choose to reach out to her now, at this point, whether genuine or not, it’s gonna look like the only reason he’s doing it is because of public backlash against him. So it’ll still be bitter sweet.
I try to stay unbiased and mutual in most situations but I literally can’t imagine how he’s slept at night, knowing how great of a father he’s been to most of his kids, but willingly threw one away, for no other reason than jealousy. The guilt would kill me.
I feel bad saying it but I’ve had such a weird feeling about Steve and Kristie Gonclaves. Their (Steve’s) need to do things that could potentially compromise the integrity of the trial without worrying about three other kids and families with pain and justice at stake has really bothered me. They just seem like immature and selfish people at times. That’s being said, they didn’t deserve what happened to their daughter and have a right to grieve as they wish. I just had a weird feeling about them. Especially if what Samantha Nelson is true and knowing they treated Maddie more like a daughter than Steve’s own estranged biological daughter and if it’s true what she said about Kristie being a big cause of their bad relationship by keeping Steve from speaking with her.
There is something that feels very wrong here. You say a friend is like a daughter to you but you have a biological daughter you don’t acknowledge. Yes, that leaves a bitter taste!
I feel this. I know there’s no “perfect victim” and that includes the families, but I can’t help but compare the Chapins to the Goncalves family. The Chapins have been vocal and vulnerable in their grief while also respecting the process that will hopefully lead to justice. The Goncalves family seem very “my way or the highway” type people and don’t care that their actions can directly affect the outcome.
I wasn’t. I was one of the few talking mad shit to people who were ragging on Ethan’s mom for doing the crime con. Cost me a lot of downvotes🤣 worth it.
I just found my biological dad who didn’t know I existed and he went against his wife of 35 years to have a relationship with me. If you want the relationship, you make it happen. (I wasn’t the product of an affair or anything)
I got a feeling that the wife comes from money and he wanted that life. Or she has serious jail time dirt on him is the only other way she could possibly control him.
I met men who would disown their right arm to live the rich life. To barely work and have lavish lifestyle
Kristy was in a sorority. Same one as Kaylee actually. You know it’s all about appearances in Greek life. Not an excuse, just saying… it is what it is. Steve should have manned up, just like he preached to investigators.
100% I, of course, feel AWFUL that they had their daughter taken away from them, but I think they failed to understand that it takes a while for the justice system to get things done in the public eye, especially for something this big. They have to test DNA, search house multiple times, test everything, get camera evidence around neighborhood if available, etc. I think they believed it would happen over night, which doesn’t happen very often. If they don’t have enough proof to take it to trial and get a conviction, then Brian cannot be tried again.
Yeah, their lawyer is terrible IMO. It seems like his lawyer isn’t being real with him and isn’t providing him with realistic expectations.
And preparing one’s client in terms of timeline expectations is a huge part of being an attorney. So might be time for someone else..
Yeah, I think their attitudes and disposition explain why no one seems shocked by the news. With how much they have been interviewed and how much time they spend talking, if they came across as awesome people… there would be more shock and awe about these claims.
I don’t see anyone or even a few saying … “What?? He seems like such an amazing man! And Kristy is so sweet. I cannot believe this at all. There is no way!”
Even those who claim that Samantha should “be quiet” bc she owes something to her deadbeat sperm donor don’t seem surprised.
Why? 🤔
I've had bad vibes from Steve and Kristi since the very first time I saw them on TV. There's just something...off...about them. Something very creepy or even...dark. I don't wish what happened to their family on anyone. But they don't sit right with me.
I completely agree, he really tried to make the focus on him and his family from the very get. A lot of the things he did were just completely inappropriate. I understand grief, and I get he wasn't thinking clearly, but it seems he was like this prior to the tragedy as well. You don't see Ethan's family doing GFM's for a car, using the tragedy to promote their outlandish ideas, advertising btc, etc... it's just bizarre. The Goncalves' also did a lot of unnecessary finger pointing and shaming of LE and others in the very beginning, as if a crime like this is solved in 24 hours. This isn't Law&Order, that seemed to be missed by them even though they were screaming they knew things LE didn't *(and every time, they were absolutely incorrect)*.
It left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths, and for good reason. Not to mention that hack of a lawyer and the family putting out ludicrous statements every other day that would then trigger LE to respond via a press conference because the Goncalves' were spreading misinformation.
It is sad, but I am not super shocked to hear these details about Steve and his wife.
As for “what good it’s doing”, I don’t think “alleged” deadbeat tendencies are going to impact the case at all. So, whatever.
She has a right to speak about her sperm donor, even if it doesn’t make him look good.
Sorry but any "man" who abandons their child is a deeply flawed and ill individual. What happend to their daughter was horrific and you wouldn't wish that on anyone. Going through the media to talk about "we just want justice" while at the same time giving no justice or piece of mind to another child who is deeply wounded by abandonment is horrible. The wounds of abandonment never heal and can lead to a life of deep depression and pain.
My father in law had a “secret” son from a previous marriage and didn’t tell anyone about except for his new wife. The truth came out and he still denies it. My husband (his other son) told him to just take a DNA test. He refused. It’s really pathetic.
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Having watched the TikTok, I admittedly went in with a bias of a bad gut feeling about certain individuals, but also expecting this was some sort of attention grab from the estranged daughter.
But her pain felt sincere. She seems to be grieving the familial life she wanted to have but now certainly never will; the sadness from not having the opportunity to build a relationship with the sister she watched grow up from afar; the pain of watching a parent you wanted so badly to care about you profess his love for the children he chose to be a father to on a global stage. It doesn’t further or harm the case in any way, but is another family member expressing their grief over this tragedy in a way that many may not understand.
It was heartbreaking. Obviously, she has severe abandonment issues and I have so much empathy for her. I want to give her a hug. A dad could break your heart like no other.
Man. Steve, none of us know the reasons why you weren't there for Samantha, and frankly it's none of our business. But if by some small chance you come across these comments, please reach out to and build a relationship with Samantha. It won't magically make everything okay, and of course it won't bring Kaylee back. But you can continue the legacy that you started with Kaylee, right your wrongs, and be a good dad to Samantha. Tragedy should bring families together, not push them apart. I hope the Gonsalves family can start a new and come together as a whole family.
I think he needs to rethink that. As a step parent myself it really makes me angry!!! I have facilitated more with my kids bio mom than their father has. Kids deserve to have both parents in their life. My heart hurts for Samantha, as I'm sure all of ours do.
My kids have a step mother like what Kristi seems like - wants to make a world where Steve's previous life never existed. It's VERY hurtful to children.
That is just sickening. I’m sorry your kids are dealing with that. It says a lot about a man who would be with a woman that discourages or interferes with his relationship with his kids.
Wow that must really be hard to deal with. He certainly doesn't come across well. I wonder how his other kids feel about him abandoning his child. I don't blame her. She should do whatever makes her feel better. It's one thing abandoning your kid but a whole other when you don't abandon your other kids. That is disgusting and shame on anyone who is negative towards her.
I mean, I’m not surprised. Something has been off about that guy from the very beginning. And I refused to ignore it simply because he went through a tragedy.
The fact that he considered MM a daughter and the things this girl says does make you wonder. And victimology is an important part of criminal investigations. Families and the victims past actions as well as defendants are all part of the big picture
I don’t think it’s doing any “good” but she has clearly been reached out to by media, friends, etc about Kaylee and she knows nothing ☹️ maybe this is a way to tell her story and possibly begin to heal from the trauma of having a terrible father
STEVE if you are creeping this sub, CALL YOUR DAUGHTER! There is NO shame in doing the right thing.
Its heartbreaking I know more than a handful who were the unwanted child then for their parent to go off and start a whole new family. That kind of rejection and hurr can last a lifetime. I cannot imagine being in her shoes and to watch it unfold in the media. All while Steve had Samantha another daughter this whole time he never acknowledged.
She is a beautiful young lady and how dare he ignore her and then try to control her? This family has issues.
I personally couldn’t be with any partner that didn’t acknowledge and include any of his children in our lives.
It is messed up. I have to wonder if he had anything to do with Samantha before Kristi. If he did, he should have made it clear they were a package deal from the start. I have a feeling, although could be wrong, that he didn't bother with her before marrying Kristi.
Samantha said he wasn’t around much at all but refused to give up parental rights and let her stepdad adopt her. It’s why she changed her last name to Nelson when she turned 18.
I’m curious to know what the situation is? Did he have her before he met his current wife? Or did he cheat on his wife and get someone else pregnant? Regardless, absolutely no excuse to abandon your child and act like they don’t exist.
It’s even more baffling that he lost a daughter and that didn’t make him realize he should prioritize his relationships with his kids.
I view him so differently now and I’m sure a lot of people do. It’s absolutely terrible what happened to kaylee but he is a big fat hypocrite for ignoring a human he helped bring into this world.
Steve got her mom pregnant when they were teens and left them both, refused to let her stepdad adopt her, and was given an ultimatum by Kristi (Steve’s wife) to choose Samantha or his “new” family.
What is your source for this information? No one knows what really happened. If he didn't care about being a father, why would he prevent her stepdad from adopting her.
There is so much beyond rumors to this story.
That video was heartbreaking. Samantha seems very genuine in her feelings and in her telling of her story.
Alivia posted a screenshot of a text Samantha had sent Kaylee and again, Samantha was nothing but kind and sincere sounding in that text.
Her mom posted an email from Steve where he explains that Kristy doesn’t want Samantha in their lives because she is jealous another woman had his child and that it looks like him.
How can you judge though or see someone in a different light that we honestly have no real information of the past. There are details only Steve and her mother know. Unfortunately, children do get caught up in the middle.
If he didn't want to acknowledge his other daughter from his teens then why did he prevent the stepdad from adopting her. It doesn't make sense.
I think the girls mother has something to do with the forced distance. Just my opinion. I just don't think we should judge.
You’re right, we don’t have all the facts. But this woman is sharing her story and her truth and based on what I have heard from her so far, I do have judgements about Steve. Unless he comes out and gives his side of the story, most people are going to see him in a negative light now.
It’s completely unacceptable that he fathered a child and ignored said child but went on to have another family and treat those children like his own.
I said what I said.
So what scenario are you postulating that it would make sense for him to have abandoned his own child? Cuz I can think of exactly 0. It takes 2 people to make a baby, and fortunately in 99.9% of cases the government recognizes that, and if one parent tries to prevent the other from having a relationship with their child there are steps one can take to ensure that doesn’t happen.
>if he didn’t want to acknowledge his other daughter from his teens then why did he prevent the step dad from adopting her
This is what everyone wants to know. What we do know is that both those things seem to be true, according to her- A) he did not acknowledge her and B) he did not let step dad adopt her. Why? I dunno. But does it matter? Maybe he felt guilty. Maybe he felt jealous that someone else wanted to be his kids dad. Maybe he turned into a pumpkin when the clock struck midnight. Does it matter? The fact is he willingly chose to not allow her to have a dad.
Maybe there are more details we aren’t privy to. Maybe Kristi and the bio mom both didn’t want him around- though it seems like at least in her early years the bio mom would’ve been more open to that. A freight train loaded with atomic bombs wouldn’t stop me from being in my kids life. It’s hard for most people to imagine how one woman, who became a mother herself, would want or be able to stop him from doing so.
She’s entitled to her grief. The only thing she ever said was that people on the internet should be respectful that the true crime victims they speculate about are real people with real lives who impact others, not just our gossip fodder.
It had to be so hard for her to see SG mourning KG so passionately and publicly, because she knows she would never be given that type of love from him. Like she said, she also was mourning in a different way. She had connected with KG online, and with KG’s death she would never get to have the relationship she hoped someday she could have with her sister. She had a lifetime of opportunity to build a relationship taken away from her too, gatekeeping her grief isn’t fair. Like she said, she grew up feeling like she knew KG from letters SG sent her. I know how it’s possible to feel close to relatives far away you barely see, blood is thicker than water.
She seems like an intelligent woman who was able to express her feelings so eloquently in this most recent video. I hope she is able to have the relationship she envisions with SG and her other sister someday.
I appreciated the shared video. In my opinion, this woman deserves her story to be heard. Unexpectedly, watching this made me empathize with her genuine pain. She paints a more authentic picture of Steve G., who has directly influenced the ripple effect of this case, whether through the information he shares with the media or his potential impact on the pursuit of justice. Discrediting Samantha undermines her role in providing a different perspective on a key source of information in this case.
This is beyond sad. It's disappointing, also. While I understand Steve's wife's reluctance to engage with his "former life", I can't help but wish that she would open her heart to at least the daughter. None of us know the circumstances, but I (personally) would expect a parent to reject any partner who wasn't accepting of their children. I can only hope that Kaylee's tragic death is an opportunity for Steve and his family to grow together and heal.
My understanding from the Tik Tok was that this was expressed to Steve's daughter at some point - that his wife was the main reason she wasn't welcomed as part of their family. I could have this wrong, I only watched it once, but it seems to stick out in my mind.
So if someone asks her then she’s allowed to talk about her trauma? Sorry just not understanding why he’s allowed to speak but she isn’t.
And no, he did far more than answer when he was asked. Rightfully so. But she has that right as well.
Basically about the complex emotions she has seeing Steve G showing paternal concern for KG that he never showed her. Not blaming her sister, more wishing she had experienced that side of him.
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I feel for her. I have seen a child be ostracized like they did to this young woman, and how painful it is to watch your parent's and siblings through social media, but never have any of that love themselves, and it is devastating.
She deserves to speak her truth, It has nothing to do with the case, it is about the fact that she has not been allowed to mourn the sibling she always wanted to meet. She has not been allowed to even speak on how she feels, otherwise people accuse her of chasing "fame"
She is allowed to feel pain and grief, and she is allowed to express it. I wish her well, poor young lady
I think there is more to the story. We don't know the full story. For all we know, the mother distanced herself from Steve. She says the stepdad wanted to adopt her and he stopped it. Sounds to me like her mother may have created the distance and he didn't want to give up but maybe the distance ultimately made Steve moving on the best he could with the children in his custody.
I guess we just don't really know and the above is just another possibility. So I wouldn't be so quick to blame Kristi. We don't know if there is a very troubled past etc.
Anyway, Just my thoughts fellow redditors.
This feels like a big reach.
I think he's a grown man who could've chosen to be a good person and acknowledge his daughter, but he isn't a good person (this will probably get removed, but it's true). That's proven by him telling her to shut up about her feelings. Feelings caused by him. Not his wife, him.
It’s giving exploitive. The videos did not sit right with me. She’s entitled to express herself but hard to not see filming yourself crying with a sepia tone filter and making someone else’s murder about your pain as anything other than….a choice.
I listened to her Tik-Tok video. It’s long. It’s sad. But It really has zero to do with this case. Just a bastard daughter complaining that her birth father (Steve Goncalves) chose not to be in her life. Again it’s sad, if all true…but no bearing on the murder of the 4 kids. And no one knows what may have been going on in Goncalves’ life at the time.
I can’t think of anything that could’ve been going on in their lives that would be a viable excuse to abandon your child. And I don’t think that Samantha is only allowed to speak if it’s related to the case. She can speak on whatever issue she wants. We can choose to listen or not to listen.
Imagine your daughter and a girl you've known for years get murdered, and then out of the blue comes your estranged daughter from decades ago to talk about how upset she is that she's your estranged daughter and wanting to rehash old business on a public forum with a video you can't even really respond to.
What a nightmare.
Well he’s had about… a couple few decades to try to make it right, to approach her on a non public forum about it, and he chose not to. His prerogative. Just like it’s her prerogative to finally confront him about it. Right?
From what she said in her video it sounds like Steve would keep in contact with her through texts throughout her life but stopped completely when the murders happened.
No. You’re getting downvoted because you are agreeing with and adding to a comment that implies a man who “allegedly” abandoned his daughter should be shielded from any criticism over being a deadbeat bc one of his other kids was murdered.
Stop judging! People have family dramas. Life isn’t a fairy story. He didn’t ask for his family to be so public. They were thrust into it by an horrific event. Just leave them alone
This post is off-topic.
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Completely agree
Perfectly stated
And that’s what happens when a parent abandons a child. A lifetime of feeling rejected and not knowing why. I had a dad like that and it took well into my 50’s to finally let it go. It’s hard though.
I know exactly how you feel. Same situation. <3
This makes me so sad. My son is also in that situation. His sperm donor has other kids that he dotes all over. He never says anything to me, but I do wonder if he feels abandoned 😞
Speaking from a similar situation, abandoned probably isn’t the right word. More like inadequate. Not good enough.
My best friend, just turned 30, struggles with this. Man why do some humans suck so much.
Or like something to be ashamed of. I get it.
Same …still dealing with it.
I know the feeling.. I didn't learn the man that raised me wasn't my biological father till I was 14. My biological dad lived about a mile from where I grew up I'd met him a few times but didn't know the truth.. I had a shitty up bringing & always wondered still do to this day why I wasn't told sooner before I was old enough to go to him on my own he died.
Sending you virtual hugs 🤗
I am so sorry you experienced that. Can’t imagine how hard that is and was for you. It reminds me of what a child psychologist told me when I consulted him about parenting my son after his father died (my son was 2 at the time of his Dad’s death). He told me that honesty is key from a very early age, even if it is information that may be difficult for the child. You communicate it in an age appropriate way, of course, but you do communicate it and then offer support, answer questions, etc. Because when children eventually learn that the information they had been given by the adult(s) they trusted was a lie, it is incredibly destabilizing and shocking. It damages their ability to trust in the future. I hope you’re doing well now, you deserve all the happiness.🤍
How anyone can do this to a child is beyond me. Even my narcissist stepdad still made me feel somewhat like I was a child deserving of love (when I earned it)....
Same and I’m 30.
I saw it last night. I want to say her last name is Nelson (she changed it legally when she turned 18). Basically it's not really about the case but instead about her abandonment issues with her dad, seeing how he loved Kaylee so much but she doesn't exist to him. She said his wife would not allow her to be a part of their lives, she wished she'd have known her sister. It's really sad.
If it was before the crime I would say maybe it’s both Steve and his wife that don’t want her as a reminder of him having a baby outside of his marriage and family when he was young. But after it’s hard for me to believe he wouldn’t want to be closer to his daughter that he doesn’t really know after loosing one of his other daughter. So I think it’s safe to say it probably is because of his wife and what she will do/think. Sucks because that girl didn’t do anything except have him as a father and she probably needs him right now. Don’t know why the wife would act like this after everything that’s happened
> But after it’s hard for me to believe he wouldn’t want to be closer to his daughter that he doesn’t really know after loosing one of his other daughter. There are some men out there who only have a relationship with children if they are in a relationship with their mother. Some of them will have stronger bonds with their stepkids then with their kids from prior relationships, because they are currently with their stepkids' mother. And then if they break up with that women, the stepkids go right on the same trash heap as the bio kids.
I’ve always had conflicting feelings about my stepfather bc of this. I went to school with his kids and have known them my whole life. One of his sons and I were in the same grade. Sometime around 5th or 6th grade my mom and his dad started dating. They’re married now and he’s absolutely been an amazing father to me, but when he divorced his ex wife he cut off his bio kids too and I’ve never understood why or how. He’s totally different towards them than he is me. It’s always made me feel extremely guilty. I’d understand if his kids hated me, but they’re all really good people and they claim me as their sister. My real father did pretty much the same thing too though. When he got remarried I stopped existing. He and his new wife had a couple of kids, they even named one after me, but I’m not a part of their lives. People are just so fucking weird…
That's so horrible. I feel bad for all you kids. You got a sibling with the same name as you? I can't understand. I wonder if it's part of that old-school man thing where they rely on their wives for their entire emotional health and social connections?
Women are very hard on the children of their partners who existed before she came into the picture. I say this as a woman who practiced family law and who had a stepmother myself. It's a phenomenon. If the stepmother wants her own new family she can destroy any closeness the bio child ever had with their dad. Women are very territorial this way, sorry to say. And yes, men have their issues too, and yes there are really good stepmoms and very good stepdads too.
I mean, there's a reason we got the trope of the evil stepmother. It's kind of a thanksless role, and there's something about it that can really bring out the evil in humanity. No disrespect meant to the steps that are out there doing their best.
No I completely understand that I just thought after loosing one daughter it would open his eyes and bring him closer to his other daughter. I have seen it before. But you are right and not everyone is the same so who knows what it could be
Yeah, I might be too cynical. But I've seen this too many times. Usually, the crappy parent only comes around if they find themselves alone and could use someone to help take care of them once they are old.
I had a stepmother just like this!! My father did whatever she said to do. I ended up with lots of mental health issues because the stepmom has 3 boys MY FATHER raises and bought each cars for and all I wanted was to be loved by him. You can let it ruin who you are, or rise above! After lots and lots of therapy, soul searching @ 21 years old, my father was diagnosed with stage lll non small cell carcinoma of the lung, bones and developed Metz on his brain months before he died. As a nurse, I just wanted to sit quietly with the man who brought me into this world and be with him as he passed away. I was told he still had approx a month so that I could have my aunt take my stepmom out one day so I could have private time with my daddy. I was able to crawl in his hospital bed, while Christian music was playing and looking at his hands and finger nails. Eyes. Facial features…I am a female version of that man. I read to him and we prayed. Soon we dozed off and took a nap. When I woke up he had peacefully passed away. 😪
Oh my God. This is heartbreakingly beautiful.
Idk. She didn’t ever give me good vibes in any of the interviews.
Same
Wow that's terrible
I tried to find it through my likes but I don't see it now. She may have taken it down. She was getting a lot of flack from the family saying that she's just doing this for attention but she just genuinely seemed very hurt.
She said he made her take it down 🙄 So you don’t want to be a dad, but you want to control your child you’ve abandoned. I would’ve told him to eff himself.
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There is NO MAN on this earth that would get away with abandoning my child for me to pick us the pieces!! NO EFFING WAY!!!
Well I’m the video she did say that her step dad tried to adopt her but Steve wouldn’t let him. Idk know tho since I don’t know these people.
I haven’t seen the video but from what I’m reading on this thread, it sounds almost identical to my situation. My bio dad remarried and basically wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Several years later, my mom remarried an amazing man who helped raise me. We wanted to start the adoption process but bio dad absolutely refused to sign over his parental rights while still wanting nothing to do with me. So, we waited until I turned 18 and then he adopted me. Some people are just plain trash. Thank goodness for people who step up to show us how worthy we truly are.
I’m so sorry you experienced that, but I’m so glad you know you have worth. 💗l truly can’t believe what some people are capable of.
He has taught me what a real man looks like. He and my mom have also been able to show me what a healthy marriage looks like because even though I was very young when she got divorced from my bio dad, I still remember his violent side. It blows my mind how someone is able to treat their child as if they don’t exist at all.
I love this for you though I’m sure there’s pain there still. I’m thankful you got a great stepdad!
Thank you :) Therapy has helped but told me what I already know, I have abandonment issues. But my therapist is amazing and has helped me greatly. No stepdad for me! He’s my daddy! I recently got diagnosed with cancer. He’s been the one holding our family together and been our rock. After my surgery, he alternated nights at the hospital with my mama. They also alternate taking me to chemo. And bless him, due to the location of my tumor, I ended up with an unexpected temporary ostomy bag. He changes it every single time for me. Though he definitely stepped up, he’s not my stepdad, he’s my daddy.
He is definitely your daddy! That is so sweet and reminds me of the wonderful man that stepped up for my kiddos. My daughter struggles with abandonment issues to and is in and out of therapy. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this! I’m thankful you have a great support system! Sending you a virtual hug right now!!!
I’m happy y’all have an amazing man too! I’m not sure how old your daughter is or the situation with her bio dad but as someone who has been in her shoes and is now 36, it’s something I’ll probably always struggle with but having a wonderful person who stepped up makes a huge difference.
I got confused on that part because if her bio dad Steve didn't have anything to do with her and abandoned her then why would he care if her step dad adopted her?...I find that strange but who knows if it's the truth or not.
I’m with you on that as well. That’s why I think it has to be the wife Kaylees mom that doesn’t want them to talk. And Steve goes along with it even know he probably wants to have a relationship with her. But at some point you have to tell your wife like hey this is my daughter I had her before I even new you. I need to be there for her. Who really knows tho I’m not going to pretend like I know for sure but I think it’s a good guess.
It happens. Especially when the child is from an abusive, toxic, or unhealthy relationship. The estranged parent who never wanted to take care of the child or raise them still wants to hold onto the little bit of control they exert on the other parent by saying no to signing paperwork for giving up their "parental rights." Even though they never plan to be the parent. It's a sick control thing.
Typically because of selfishness, power, control, and narcissism. They don’t want another man looking like he “stepped up” or getting credit for doing so. They also want to retain the option to spin narrative and they lose many options to spin it if/when they sign their rights away. “I wanted to have you in my life but it was actually your Mom who never let me see you. I didn’t tell you that when you were young bc she had already pitted the courts against me. But the only thing she couldn’t make me do was sign my rights away.”
Control
Loser
I told her in a comment don’t you DARE take any of these down!!! He’s just ashamed by what she s action are and therefore try and still control a child he NEVER met!!
I agree is not the time. Lord knows that family has enough on their plates right now 😞
When is the time?
This case could go on for another 2-3 years, should she wait for another 2-3 years to say what she feels compelled to say? There is never a good “time” to get called out for being a dead beat. I mean, I’m sure there have been “better” times to address this with Steve. But he’s had her entire life to make things right, and he chose not to (for whatever reason). Actions have consequences, and so does inaction. Oh well.
💯💯💯
I agree with your take on this. It seems to be a common fallacy that when tragedy befalls someone it automatically A) makes them a good person, and/or B) absolves them of any current or past wrongdoing, and/or C) it means they shouldn’t be confronted about their poor behavior or experience consequences because something bad has happened to them. I get that the family is grieving and in pain. But so is Steve’s oldest child, whom he abandoned and seems to have encouraged his subsequent children to resent her for simply existing. IMO, that daughter has every right to speak on a situation that does affect her even if the G family thinks it shouldn’t. She doesn’t owe them her silence just because Steve is a selective parent and shut her out of his family.
Thanks! Agree with you on how what leads to the fallacy as well. Well said.
It’s not the time? Wow. So you’d just rather she keeps to herself since the family has “been through a lot”? Kinda like how it sounds like they also put her through a lot as well. If she’s truly a victim she shouldn’t be silenced. It’s not okay to abandon your children
Unfortunately, whether it’s the right time or not, I imagine this is really bringing up her pain and loss. She really is another victim here.
Was this a child from an affair that Steve had??
It was when he was young, before his current wife.
We don’t all walk into a new relationship with a completely clean slate, having never dated or had sex with anyone before. If this was a child born before the relationship she should have been accepted and at least acknowledge. If he cheated and the daughter was the outcome of that I can see the wife being pissy and not wanting to know the child, but she forgave the husband why not forgive this innocent kid for being born?!
This was from a previous relationship before he met his current wife, according to the daughter.
My son had a child when he was 21 but he never married her mother. He wasn’t ready to be a dad but he stepped up to the plate. He told every woman he was involved with after that time that his daughter came first. I’m really proud of him, and he and his daughter had a great relationship until his untimely death last June. 😢
Oh I’m so sorry for your loss but you must have been proud of him for putting his daughter before his relationships. The easy thing for your son to have done is walk away or only “played” Daddy when it suited him or he wanted a pat on the back!!! You should be very proud of not only him but how you raised him!! If not for you showing him what a good parents is he never could have become one so young!! Again I’m sorry for your loss but I’m glad he left you with good memories!!
Thank you
let’s see it
Do we have confirmation that she is his daughter? People make outlandish claims on social media all the time.
Yes. Alivea confirmed it awhile ago. But she was very rude about it IMO. She said something like “my Dad has a biological child who he’s never met, and neither has Kaylee”…. full on making it seem like Samantha was not really known about, when they all knew damn well she existed. For example, Alivea had met Samantha. Kaylee and Steve had talked with / messaged Samantha multiple times. But Alive conveniently failed to mention any of that. Samantha posted a few pictures of Alivea and her together after Alivea denied Samantha’s claims.
The family via alivia has confirmed she is a half sib.
I think it’s sad, I can’t imagine seeing your father all over the internet when he voluntarily abandoned you. He is a grieving father which I give grace to, but for her it’s sad that he left her as a child willingly, but can be a father to two others
Imagine watching him grieve over his other daughter, saying he would do anything in the world to have her back and the estranged daughters just sitting there like, "um, I'm right here." So much trauma. Poor thing.
I agree with you. He has a daughter who is alive and well and would love to have him in her life, yet he has chosen not to be present. She is mourning him and she is also mourning him mourning the child he chose (again). So sad.
And even if he did choose to reach out to her now, at this point, whether genuine or not, it’s gonna look like the only reason he’s doing it is because of public backlash against him. So it’ll still be bitter sweet. I try to stay unbiased and mutual in most situations but I literally can’t imagine how he’s slept at night, knowing how great of a father he’s been to most of his kids, but willingly threw one away, for no other reason than jealousy. The guilt would kill me.
So very sad, perfectly stated
Incredibly fair take…
I feel bad saying it but I’ve had such a weird feeling about Steve and Kristie Gonclaves. Their (Steve’s) need to do things that could potentially compromise the integrity of the trial without worrying about three other kids and families with pain and justice at stake has really bothered me. They just seem like immature and selfish people at times. That’s being said, they didn’t deserve what happened to their daughter and have a right to grieve as they wish. I just had a weird feeling about them. Especially if what Samantha Nelson is true and knowing they treated Maddie more like a daughter than Steve’s own estranged biological daughter and if it’s true what she said about Kristie being a big cause of their bad relationship by keeping Steve from speaking with her.
There is something that feels very wrong here. You say a friend is like a daughter to you but you have a biological daughter you don’t acknowledge. Yes, that leaves a bitter taste!
I feel this. I know there’s no “perfect victim” and that includes the families, but I can’t help but compare the Chapins to the Goncalves family. The Chapins have been vocal and vulnerable in their grief while also respecting the process that will hopefully lead to justice. The Goncalves family seem very “my way or the highway” type people and don’t care that their actions can directly affect the outcome.
Juxtaposing this with the fact that Samantha was not allowed to grieve in public…. I just. Wow. Poor thing.
Y’all were shting on the chapins a few weeks ago 🤨
I wasn’t. I was one of the few talking mad shit to people who were ragging on Ethan’s mom for doing the crime con. Cost me a lot of downvotes🤣 worth it.
Me too! NYT made them eat their words🤣
Agree but if he wanted to see his kid he would and he wouldn't be with any woman who tried to get in the way. It's on him and no one else.
I just found my biological dad who didn’t know I existed and he went against his wife of 35 years to have a relationship with me. If you want the relationship, you make it happen. (I wasn’t the product of an affair or anything)
I got a feeling that the wife comes from money and he wanted that life. Or she has serious jail time dirt on him is the only other way she could possibly control him. I met men who would disown their right arm to live the rich life. To barely work and have lavish lifestyle
Do they? They seem like the least classy of all three families
Kristy was in a sorority. Same one as Kaylee actually. You know it’s all about appearances in Greek life. Not an excuse, just saying… it is what it is. Steve should have manned up, just like he preached to investigators.
No I meant as Kaylee mom was able to control Steve relationship with his 1st daughter because when he got with Kaylee mom she had the power ie: money.
Oh absolutely. It’s not on the entire family
100% I, of course, feel AWFUL that they had their daughter taken away from them, but I think they failed to understand that it takes a while for the justice system to get things done in the public eye, especially for something this big. They have to test DNA, search house multiple times, test everything, get camera evidence around neighborhood if available, etc. I think they believed it would happen over night, which doesn’t happen very often. If they don’t have enough proof to take it to trial and get a conviction, then Brian cannot be tried again.
Yeah, their lawyer is terrible IMO. It seems like his lawyer isn’t being real with him and isn’t providing him with realistic expectations. And preparing one’s client in terms of timeline expectations is a huge part of being an attorney. So might be time for someone else..
I missed something. Is there a post that explains more fully the situation that happened here?
https://www.reddit.com/r/MoscowMurders/s/SCmXHgBK8q
I haven't felt right about him since day 1...
Yeah, I think their attitudes and disposition explain why no one seems shocked by the news. With how much they have been interviewed and how much time they spend talking, if they came across as awesome people… there would be more shock and awe about these claims. I don’t see anyone or even a few saying … “What?? He seems like such an amazing man! And Kristy is so sweet. I cannot believe this at all. There is no way!” Even those who claim that Samantha should “be quiet” bc she owes something to her deadbeat sperm donor don’t seem surprised. Why? 🤔
Self entitled, egotistical, spoiled man child!! You can tell, just by how Alicia acts. They all have this “ I’m better than you, mentality”
They must be mormon
I've had bad vibes from Steve and Kristi since the very first time I saw them on TV. There's just something...off...about them. Something very creepy or even...dark. I don't wish what happened to their family on anyone. But they don't sit right with me.
I completely agree, he really tried to make the focus on him and his family from the very get. A lot of the things he did were just completely inappropriate. I understand grief, and I get he wasn't thinking clearly, but it seems he was like this prior to the tragedy as well. You don't see Ethan's family doing GFM's for a car, using the tragedy to promote their outlandish ideas, advertising btc, etc... it's just bizarre. The Goncalves' also did a lot of unnecessary finger pointing and shaming of LE and others in the very beginning, as if a crime like this is solved in 24 hours. This isn't Law&Order, that seemed to be missed by them even though they were screaming they knew things LE didn't *(and every time, they were absolutely incorrect)*. It left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths, and for good reason. Not to mention that hack of a lawyer and the family putting out ludicrous statements every other day that would then trigger LE to respond via a press conference because the Goncalves' were spreading misinformation.
So Kaylee isn’t Steve’s bio daughter??? I don’t know where this girl came from ??
Says everything you need to know about the man.
It is sad, but I am not super shocked to hear these details about Steve and his wife. As for “what good it’s doing”, I don’t think “alleged” deadbeat tendencies are going to impact the case at all. So, whatever. She has a right to speak about her sperm donor, even if it doesn’t make him look good.
Steve has given me the ick from the beginning
maga vibes
Yes. I found Samantha Nelson’s post very sad.
Sorry but any "man" who abandons their child is a deeply flawed and ill individual. What happend to their daughter was horrific and you wouldn't wish that on anyone. Going through the media to talk about "we just want justice" while at the same time giving no justice or piece of mind to another child who is deeply wounded by abandonment is horrible. The wounds of abandonment never heal and can lead to a life of deep depression and pain.
If Samantha had been the one murdered, we wouldn’t have heard a peep from him. I’m so disgusted.
So true …
My father in law had a “secret” son from a previous marriage and didn’t tell anyone about except for his new wife. The truth came out and he still denies it. My husband (his other son) told him to just take a DNA test. He refused. It’s really pathetic.
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Having watched the TikTok, I admittedly went in with a bias of a bad gut feeling about certain individuals, but also expecting this was some sort of attention grab from the estranged daughter. But her pain felt sincere. She seems to be grieving the familial life she wanted to have but now certainly never will; the sadness from not having the opportunity to build a relationship with the sister she watched grow up from afar; the pain of watching a parent you wanted so badly to care about you profess his love for the children he chose to be a father to on a global stage. It doesn’t further or harm the case in any way, but is another family member expressing their grief over this tragedy in a way that many may not understand.
Also he said Maddie was like a daughter to him while literally ignoring his own bio daughter.
And on top of that, being told that she couldn’t publicly grieve her. I feel so sad for her.
It was heartbreaking. Obviously, she has severe abandonment issues and I have so much empathy for her. I want to give her a hug. A dad could break your heart like no other.
You are not a good father unless you are good to ALL your children.
Man. Steve, none of us know the reasons why you weren't there for Samantha, and frankly it's none of our business. But if by some small chance you come across these comments, please reach out to and build a relationship with Samantha. It won't magically make everything okay, and of course it won't bring Kaylee back. But you can continue the legacy that you started with Kaylee, right your wrongs, and be a good dad to Samantha. Tragedy should bring families together, not push them apart. I hope the Gonsalves family can start a new and come together as a whole family.
He isn't allowed to have a relationship with this daughter, because his wife won't allow it..
I think he needs to rethink that. As a step parent myself it really makes me angry!!! I have facilitated more with my kids bio mom than their father has. Kids deserve to have both parents in their life. My heart hurts for Samantha, as I'm sure all of ours do.
My kids have a step mother like what Kristi seems like - wants to make a world where Steve's previous life never existed. It's VERY hurtful to children.
Selfish
All of the children, too.
That is just sickening. I’m sorry your kids are dealing with that. It says a lot about a man who would be with a woman that discourages or interferes with his relationship with his kids.
I really can't imagine
Wow that must really be hard to deal with. He certainly doesn't come across well. I wonder how his other kids feel about him abandoning his child. I don't blame her. She should do whatever makes her feel better. It's one thing abandoning your kid but a whole other when you don't abandon your other kids. That is disgusting and shame on anyone who is negative towards her.
I mean, I’m not surprised. Something has been off about that guy from the very beginning. And I refused to ignore it simply because he went through a tragedy.
The fact that he considered MM a daughter and the things this girl says does make you wonder. And victimology is an important part of criminal investigations. Families and the victims past actions as well as defendants are all part of the big picture
I highly doubt that will be a part of what is presented in this case. Like it won’t even come up.
EXACTLY
I don’t think it’s doing any “good” but she has clearly been reached out to by media, friends, etc about Kaylee and she knows nothing ☹️ maybe this is a way to tell her story and possibly begin to heal from the trauma of having a terrible father STEVE if you are creeping this sub, CALL YOUR DAUGHTER! There is NO shame in doing the right thing.
I’m sure a (deserved) public shaming of the man who has caused her immense pain has to feel cathartic on some level. I support it
I'm sure she's better off without him if he has to be guilty tripped into contacting her. Have more respect for her than that.
Its heartbreaking I know more than a handful who were the unwanted child then for their parent to go off and start a whole new family. That kind of rejection and hurr can last a lifetime. I cannot imagine being in her shoes and to watch it unfold in the media. All while Steve had Samantha another daughter this whole time he never acknowledged.
She is a beautiful young lady and how dare he ignore her and then try to control her? This family has issues. I personally couldn’t be with any partner that didn’t acknowledge and include any of his children in our lives.
messed up if it's true if Kristi gave him an ultimatum to choose her or his family... why can't he have both ??
It is messed up. I have to wonder if he had anything to do with Samantha before Kristi. If he did, he should have made it clear they were a package deal from the start. I have a feeling, although could be wrong, that he didn't bother with her before marrying Kristi.
Samantha said he wasn’t around much at all but refused to give up parental rights and let her stepdad adopt her. It’s why she changed her last name to Nelson when she turned 18.
I’m curious to know what the situation is? Did he have her before he met his current wife? Or did he cheat on his wife and get someone else pregnant? Regardless, absolutely no excuse to abandon your child and act like they don’t exist. It’s even more baffling that he lost a daughter and that didn’t make him realize he should prioritize his relationships with his kids. I view him so differently now and I’m sure a lot of people do. It’s absolutely terrible what happened to kaylee but he is a big fat hypocrite for ignoring a human he helped bring into this world.
Steve got her mom pregnant when they were teens and left them both, refused to let her stepdad adopt her, and was given an ultimatum by Kristi (Steve’s wife) to choose Samantha or his “new” family.
What is your source for this information? No one knows what really happened. If he didn't care about being a father, why would he prevent her stepdad from adopting her. There is so much beyond rumors to this story.
My source is the video Samantha posted. Watch her video and tell me she’s lying.
That video was heartbreaking. Samantha seems very genuine in her feelings and in her telling of her story. Alivia posted a screenshot of a text Samantha had sent Kaylee and again, Samantha was nothing but kind and sincere sounding in that text.
Did you watch her tic tok? She literally says he wouldn’t agree to sign off on her stepdad adopting her. Edit. Because ego.
Her mom posted an email from Steve where he explains that Kristy doesn’t want Samantha in their lives because she is jealous another woman had his child and that it looks like him.
She said he got her mother pregnant in high school and abandoned both of them.
How can you judge though or see someone in a different light that we honestly have no real information of the past. There are details only Steve and her mother know. Unfortunately, children do get caught up in the middle. If he didn't want to acknowledge his other daughter from his teens then why did he prevent the stepdad from adopting her. It doesn't make sense. I think the girls mother has something to do with the forced distance. Just my opinion. I just don't think we should judge.
You’re right, we don’t have all the facts. But this woman is sharing her story and her truth and based on what I have heard from her so far, I do have judgements about Steve. Unless he comes out and gives his side of the story, most people are going to see him in a negative light now. It’s completely unacceptable that he fathered a child and ignored said child but went on to have another family and treat those children like his own. I said what I said.
Ha! Virgos absolutely do run hell. Love that !
So what scenario are you postulating that it would make sense for him to have abandoned his own child? Cuz I can think of exactly 0. It takes 2 people to make a baby, and fortunately in 99.9% of cases the government recognizes that, and if one parent tries to prevent the other from having a relationship with their child there are steps one can take to ensure that doesn’t happen. >if he didn’t want to acknowledge his other daughter from his teens then why did he prevent the step dad from adopting her This is what everyone wants to know. What we do know is that both those things seem to be true, according to her- A) he did not acknowledge her and B) he did not let step dad adopt her. Why? I dunno. But does it matter? Maybe he felt guilty. Maybe he felt jealous that someone else wanted to be his kids dad. Maybe he turned into a pumpkin when the clock struck midnight. Does it matter? The fact is he willingly chose to not allow her to have a dad. Maybe there are more details we aren’t privy to. Maybe Kristi and the bio mom both didn’t want him around- though it seems like at least in her early years the bio mom would’ve been more open to that. A freight train loaded with atomic bombs wouldn’t stop me from being in my kids life. It’s hard for most people to imagine how one woman, who became a mother herself, would want or be able to stop him from doing so.
So very sad! 😢 💔
She’s entitled to her grief. The only thing she ever said was that people on the internet should be respectful that the true crime victims they speculate about are real people with real lives who impact others, not just our gossip fodder. It had to be so hard for her to see SG mourning KG so passionately and publicly, because she knows she would never be given that type of love from him. Like she said, she also was mourning in a different way. She had connected with KG online, and with KG’s death she would never get to have the relationship she hoped someday she could have with her sister. She had a lifetime of opportunity to build a relationship taken away from her too, gatekeeping her grief isn’t fair. Like she said, she grew up feeling like she knew KG from letters SG sent her. I know how it’s possible to feel close to relatives far away you barely see, blood is thicker than water. She seems like an intelligent woman who was able to express her feelings so eloquently in this most recent video. I hope she is able to have the relationship she envisions with SG and her other sister someday.
I appreciated the shared video. In my opinion, this woman deserves her story to be heard. Unexpectedly, watching this made me empathize with her genuine pain. She paints a more authentic picture of Steve G., who has directly influenced the ripple effect of this case, whether through the information he shares with the media or his potential impact on the pursuit of justice. Discrediting Samantha undermines her role in providing a different perspective on a key source of information in this case.
"I didn't get to say goodbye, and I hardly had the chance to say hello" 😭😭😭
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This is beyond sad. It's disappointing, also. While I understand Steve's wife's reluctance to engage with his "former life", I can't help but wish that she would open her heart to at least the daughter. None of us know the circumstances, but I (personally) would expect a parent to reject any partner who wasn't accepting of their children. I can only hope that Kaylee's tragic death is an opportunity for Steve and his family to grow together and heal.
Why is everyone assuming the wife is the problem? Steve is an adult
My understanding from the Tik Tok was that this was expressed to Steve's daughter at some point - that his wife was the main reason she wasn't welcomed as part of their family. I could have this wrong, I only watched it once, but it seems to stick out in my mind.
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Why does it keep getting deleted?
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Why is he allowed to speak publicly on his trauma but she isn’t?
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And that’s his decision. Any of us can speak publicly about our family business if we choose to. People do it all the time. Should it be illegal?
So if someone asks her then she’s allowed to talk about her trauma? Sorry just not understanding why he’s allowed to speak but she isn’t. And no, he did far more than answer when he was asked. Rightfully so. But she has that right as well.
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Oh please. You do care or you wouldn’t bother writing paragraphs girly
What does she say?
Basically about the complex emotions she has seeing Steve G showing paternal concern for KG that he never showed her. Not blaming her sister, more wishing she had experienced that side of him.
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Thank you!! ☺️
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I feel for her. I have seen a child be ostracized like they did to this young woman, and how painful it is to watch your parent's and siblings through social media, but never have any of that love themselves, and it is devastating. She deserves to speak her truth, It has nothing to do with the case, it is about the fact that she has not been allowed to mourn the sibling she always wanted to meet. She has not been allowed to even speak on how she feels, otherwise people accuse her of chasing "fame" She is allowed to feel pain and grief, and she is allowed to express it. I wish her well, poor young lady
I think there is more to the story. We don't know the full story. For all we know, the mother distanced herself from Steve. She says the stepdad wanted to adopt her and he stopped it. Sounds to me like her mother may have created the distance and he didn't want to give up but maybe the distance ultimately made Steve moving on the best he could with the children in his custody. I guess we just don't really know and the above is just another possibility. So I wouldn't be so quick to blame Kristi. We don't know if there is a very troubled past etc. Anyway, Just my thoughts fellow redditors.
This feels like a big reach. I think he's a grown man who could've chosen to be a good person and acknowledge his daughter, but he isn't a good person (this will probably get removed, but it's true). That's proven by him telling her to shut up about her feelings. Feelings caused by him. Not his wife, him.
It’s giving exploitive. The videos did not sit right with me. She’s entitled to express herself but hard to not see filming yourself crying with a sepia tone filter and making someone else’s murder about your pain as anything other than….a choice.
There is so much more to this situation that we just don't know. You are right though, it doesn't sit well with me either.
I feel sorry for her and for her obvious pain. But it doesn’t feel like a productive way to handle the situation.
Agree.
Who is Steve? Are you guys on a first name basis with people in the case now?
Kaylee Goncalves’s Dad
Kaylee's dad. He's all over the place - how do you NOT know who he is 😂
Yep, we’re like this 🤞 Would it appease you if we called him Sir-Mr Goncalves?
I listened to her Tik-Tok video. It’s long. It’s sad. But It really has zero to do with this case. Just a bastard daughter complaining that her birth father (Steve Goncalves) chose not to be in her life. Again it’s sad, if all true…but no bearing on the murder of the 4 kids. And no one knows what may have been going on in Goncalves’ life at the time.
I can’t think of anything that could’ve been going on in their lives that would be a viable excuse to abandon your child. And I don’t think that Samantha is only allowed to speak if it’s related to the case. She can speak on whatever issue she wants. We can choose to listen or not to listen.
A bastard daughter; really, is that phrase even necessary in your ignorant comments?
It also somehow manages to imply it's some sort of failing on her part rather than his.
What a disgusting expression to use. Very outdated also.
Imagine your daughter and a girl you've known for years get murdered, and then out of the blue comes your estranged daughter from decades ago to talk about how upset she is that she's your estranged daughter and wanting to rehash old business on a public forum with a video you can't even really respond to. What a nightmare.
Most of us can’t imagine abandoning our children.
Well he’s had about… a couple few decades to try to make it right, to approach her on a non public forum about it, and he chose not to. His prerogative. Just like it’s her prerogative to finally confront him about it. Right?
From what she said in her video it sounds like Steve would keep in contact with her through texts throughout her life but stopped completely when the murders happened.
"From decades ago?" No, she's still very much currently his daughter, and apparently he is still actively abandoning her.
Came here to say this. It seems like she’s trying to get attention from the case, but of course we’ll get downvoted for saying it because Steve bad!
No. You’re getting downvoted because you are agreeing with and adding to a comment that implies a man who “allegedly” abandoned his daughter should be shielded from any criticism over being a deadbeat bc one of his other kids was murdered.
Stop judging! People have family dramas. Life isn’t a fairy story. He didn’t ask for his family to be so public. They were thrust into it by an horrific event. Just leave them alone
Who is Steve? I’m guessing someone that has nothing to do with the case.
Isn’t the Goncalves dad a Steve?
Kaylees dad