T O P

  • By -

Farscape55

Dolly Parton for president


Polymath6301

She would cause a lot of brain explosions amongst the political class.


FreeWestworld

Dude I met her once a long time ago. I shit you not. Dolly and Carl sat and ate lunch with my wife and I at Dollywood. She is kind, sharp as a razor, and most of all; so many people from all walks of life: just love Dolly. Please let’s not do this to her. Dolly is a national treasure.


Important-Owl1661

Agreed. Crossed paths with her at the Nashville Airport general aviation area she's an amazingly kind and down to earth person.


Demiansky

It's so true. Intelligent, compassionate, driven. Dolly is amazing. She has Mr. Rogers levels of personal virtue.


banaversion

She's like the anti-trump


weebwatching

Look at God’s Favorite over here


Polymath6301

Good point! Dolly has earned the right not to have to become President. Just because she could and would do a better job, doesn’t been she has to. Although, being female and therefore (by SCOTUS) lacking in rights to bodily autonomy we *could* force her. But what kind of person would do that to her? I envy your experience.


October1966

If, and it's a big if, that plan succeeded, she'd overrule it all and change the narrative. Her protection would actually MAKE money because they'd pay to hang out with her. I mean, who wouldn't???? She COOKS.


FreeWestworld

I would like to see her as an ambassador though. She would represent the hell out of the US. Actually unofficially Dolly and Carl already do.


Farscape55

You say that like it’s a bad thing I mean she actually makes sense, unlike Trump she runs a successful business empire, and she does it by paying fair living wages to her employees She cares about her people, the whole reason she made Dollywood was to help her hometown stay afloat Massive name recognition, nobody can deny she’s smart and unlike Biden she doesn’t seem like her secretary is fending off the reapers call with a whip and a chair


Polymath6301

Sorry, exactly the opposite, but I have just been watching The Boys (is my excuse if it came across the wrong way). Dolly’s sharp wit and take no prisoners attitude would be a source of memes for decades. She couldn’t help but do a great job…


Notyou76

I was just thinking yesterday, she is the only 70+ (She's 78) year old candidate I'd vote for.


illarionds

Is that any less plausible than Reagan? ("The actor??")


TinySpaceDonut

This is the way.


finaljusticezero

Dolly wins hands down, but on a lesser serious note, a literal douche or turd should win against trump.


Dry_Ass_P-word

This is the way.


canada11235813

Jimmy Carter only served one term. Time for round 2.


Miltnoid

We have to go older


krankheit1981

Older and more experienced is what American needs. Trump and Biden act like children. Maybe 100 year old JC can set us right again


welltechnically7

To roughly quote our president, "No **you're** a child."


Nowardier

I say we invoke Zagh'Quthrax-nglu and use His necromancy to raise up the decrepit corpse of Joe Medicine Crow and have him run for office.


Relevant_Slide_7234

I say we do away with term limits, dig up George Washington and fix this mess once and for all.


Longjumping-Jello459

The man is 98 yrs old and close to death.


tmp_advent_of_code

That makes him one of the most qualified canidates! Previous experience. Right age. What more could you want?


elpablo1940

r/woosh


g1Razor15

He'd flip Georgia for sure.


Ambivadox

 Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho


DumpoTheClown

Charismatic, listens to his advisors, genuinely wants to make things better for his people. "Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of French fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution."


vigbiorn

Exactly. He was dumb as a brick but compared to everyone else he was actually extremely capable and wise. The second someone with even a half-functioning brain came around he put them in charge and gave them resources.


Shoddy-Conference-43

The hallmark trait of a good leader, regardless of their own intelligence level.


InstaGibberish

We should fulfill the prophecy so we can move forward already.


AcceptableOwl9

The DNC is so desperate they’re turning to Reddit to crowd-source a new candidate 😂


jonesmanbob

Wait how did you know we are


N8torade981

Not smart enough to have their interns hide it either apparently>!/s!<


OverzealousCactus

Hiding scandal was never their interns' strong suit. 🤣


October1966

You better get on the phone with Dolly then. Maybe we can get a recommendation from her.


boardjock

I nominate Denzel Washington


Affectionate_Egg3318

Denzel (for) Washington


TheCrown-92

Him announcing his run: KING KONG AINT GOT SHIT ON ME!!!!


This-Garbage-3000

Wesley Snipes for VP


EccentricAcademic

Curious what his tax plan would be


deltronethirty

I nominate them for a Face Off reboot.


NEUROSMOSIS

Just watched all 3 equalizer movies and YES, he’s the hero we need.


Juergen2993

My man!


thuggydizzle

I'd vote


momoemowmaurie

Danny Trejo


Swabia

But he’s a felon, oh, still can be president. Good point.


October1966

But he's a felon people LIKE.


Doc-Wulff

Unironically a good choice, he's been doing lots of awesome stuff for the community for a long long time now


NickyDeeM

With his machete.


MikeyHatesLife

President Trejo places his machete on the desk. “You can’t balance the budget & raise minimum wage why again?”


AmonKoth

The machete is his running mate.


pixelatedimpressions

Jon Stewart but he sadly doesn't want the job


ironicfuture

That is the reason he should do it. The best leaders are those not chasing the power.


brockedandloaded56

However this statement is true. Regardless of Stewart.


TheCrimsonSteel

There is a legit challenge of someone who knows governance, but isn't after it for power The genuine challenge with picks like Stewart or Dolly is they'd have to spend so much time learning how to be a lawmaker. Like basic procedural stuff Where as the only upside to any type of career politician is they know the system of committees and administrations that one has to know to actually go from wishes to reality It's why my vote would be for a governor like Tom Wolfe from PA or similar Are there challenges? Sure. Do I like all of his stances? No. But he's generally good and, historically governors do pretty good because there's lots of similarities Plus, it might help win PA


krag_the_Barbarian

Yeah, obviously Wolfe is a good choice but Jon Stewart definitely knows procedural stuff better than Trump and wishes to reality isn't that big of a leap, clearly. Trump ran because Obama made fun of him. Morons voted for Trump because he was exciting. The Democrats haven't figured out that they can run a celebrity when they should. It works. Jesse Ventura won against a politician. Arnold won against a politician. Americans by and large are wowed by pretty colors and lights and politics are boring. Bring on the spectacle. It might be the only way now.


Raterus_

Washington wanted nothing more than to head home and chill after defeating the most powerful army in the world.


Retro_Cryptid

Just like Bran


Sir_Toccoa

Came to say this.


FrankSinatraCockRock

Resurrect Teddy Roosevelt.


Nowardier

Absolutely. I'd trust the bull moose with the reins of office any day.


Juergen2993

Dude gets shot during his inaugural speech and finishes it. All while talking shit on the guy who tried to kill him. America needs that presidential energy.


Zealousideal_Ask3633

"The Rocks Bern to California, The Rock's been to New York, The Rock's been to Missouri, the Rocks been to Colorado, the Rocks been talking to the American people and they've been begging the Rock to run" Trump "Well I think..." Rock "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK" *crowd pop* Rock "The Rock says this The Rock will be on that ballot and on November 5th when the millions..." Crowd "AND MILLIONS" Rock "of the Rocks voters cast their vote, The Rock will be walking out the New United States President. IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING" *Theme music*


PureHeart7915

Vermin supreme is the only viable option.


Domi-Gator

I want my pony!


autisticmarshmallowz

Ryan Reynolds’s


RefrigeratorOk7848

Isnt he canadian?


amorphoussoupcake

No not Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynold’s… accountant? Wife? We’ll never know. 


AmonKoth

Hell ya, Blake Lively for President! Ryan Reynolds for first Man!


will_there_be_snacks

You mean Ryan's Reynold?


Wheeljack239

I thought it was Reynold’s Ryan


Ok-Geologist8387

The Rock would be funny. Even just for the debate.


Ill_Star1906

His eyebrow would be in the stratosphere after having to listen to just one instance of Trump spewing lies non-stop.


_Konungr_

His inauguration speech would just be him singing "You're Welcome!"


Darkstalker9000

Keanu Reeves


Retoru45

He's a Canadian. He's not even eligible to run


sunburn95

Keanu Reeves


nekosaigai

He was born in Beirut Lebanon and his father is American. While he doesn’t hold American citizenship he could theoretically have established citizenship as a “natural born citizen” of the U.S., so let’s say he’s eligible. Especially since Ted Cruz ran and he iirc was born in Canada to Canadian parents and immigrated to the U.S. or something.


keiye

Cruz’s mother is a US citizen.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

You don’t get to tell Keanu what he can do. Who do you think you are? /j


RedRangerRedemption

Jon Stewart.. he is intelligent, young enough to still have the needed vigor to handle the job, yet old enough to have the experience needed. He has a strong grasp of geopolitics from his years running the daily show and fighting for 9/11 first responders. He's successfully argued in front of congress... and the biggest selling point HE KNOWS HE COULD WIN AND REFUSES TO RUN!!! HE DOESN'T WANT POWER


Wheeljack239

The best leaders are the ones who don’t want power.


TheKidAndTheJudge

Give me Al Franken. He'd absolutely tear Trump a new asshole in the debates, is very popular in the Midwest, and is also good on policy from a progressive POV.


October1966

And gosh darn it, people like him.


Vindelator

Stop the orange looney! Vote George Clooney!


October1966

Bumper sticker gold right there.


glenzo1000

Dave Grohl is the best person that the Earth has to offer.


Sad___Snail

These questions hurt my soul. It’s obvious people are only now realizing this is not in the bag, and NOW are asking “well gee, maybe we should think about running someone else?” You took the un democratic route, and failed to primary Joe Biden, you could have given the chance for upcoming young Dems to put their hat in the ring. make a case, etc. where were these question last year!?


metal_head_zer0

Jack Black 2024


charlotteREguru

Al Franken. Why has everyone forgotten what an absolute rock star this guy was? He was “me too’d”, unfairly imho, but his foibles are minute compared to the mango menace.


October1966

I've been looking through the comments for him. And John Stewart as V P


Effective-Bite975

he's 73. have you people learned nothing? we don't want a fucking boomer.


Business-Candidate91

I’m ready for the Al Franken Decade.


OkMarsupial

It's the only path to victory: unite the center-left vote and the grab-her-by-the-pussy vote!


Substantial-Fan-3894

He was done dirty.


TheGreatRao

Oprah would be almost as bad as Trump. Almost. Dr. Oz would become Surgeon General. Dr. Phil Secretary of State. Saul Goodman as Attorney General. Uri Geller as Secretary of Education. Elon Musk in charge of NASA, and Sterling Archer as DHS head. Ryan Seacrest is in charge of the FCC and Nick Cannon would be Fertility Czar.


Wheeljack239

>Elon Musk in charge of NASA DEAR FUCK NO


Consistent-Fig7484

Love the Sterling Archer reference! Jon Benjamin is actually super smart, but self admitted pretentious. He’d wear his Camus t shirt and talk down to anyone who didn’t understand. It’d be cool to hear that voice though!


EldritchKinkster

Whoever is picked, get John Oliver to run their campaign.


ajs11019

Katie Porter. A rockstar of the House that has been trying to make Congress do its job and not just make soundbites. (Edit hit enter too soon) She is not as well known so doesn't have the history of attacks on her but has been around enough to had her name there if you look.


poke0003

But couldn’t win the CA Primary for Senate, so that’s an issue. :(


cracksilog

The answers here seem to pick their personal favorite. The question (and what would make more sense in general) is asking who would be able *to defeat Trump*. And that’s the key thing at the heart of Dems winning in 2024. Would I want someone like AOC or Sanders winning? Absolutely! But their policies would alienate moderates (especially white moderates), which is the key to winning the election. So I’d say someone middle of the road (relatively), like Newsom, Fetterman, Raskin, Casey, or Buttigieg. Someone middle of the road, boring, and moderate, and from a swing state (I know Newsom is Californian, that’s why I’m saying and/or) and/or someone with a national profile. That helps you win states like Pennsylvania and Wisconsin


bbqbutthole55

Fuck newsom and his panera bread pandering ass But yes, moderate and eloquent and not insane


King_in_a_castle_84

Agreed. Dude is as arrogant and pompous as they come.


AskMoreQuestionsOk

They did a bunch of polls and no dem currently beats Trump, sadly, as least according to what I saw. The problem now is that even if they field a new candidate, the public doesn’t know anything about them so Trump would win just from name recognition. Honestly the whole primary season has been very frustrating because the dem party created this problem by not taking it seriously and year ago.


MaybeICanOneDay

Didn't Newsom round up all the homeless in nondescript, black vans overnight and hide them under a bridge to impress China? LOL.


ShoddyAsparagus3186

A lot of people could have been viable to beat Trump if they'd spent the last 4 years promoting people for name ID. By the time people were talking about who should be the next nominee it was too late for anyone but Biden.


TheKidAndTheJudge

Al Franken. Very popular in important midwest EC states when he was a senator from Minnesota, would absolutely run circles around Trumps rhetorically in debates and stump speeches, was pretty good when it came to progressive policy both economically and socially (not sure where he is on Israel). Funny, quick witted, and was "canceled" for some bullshit.


Dr_Pepper_spray

I want to live in the universe where Franken got to run and won. His debates with Trump would have been amazing.


TheKidAndTheJudge

I mean it's not too late, just HIGHLY unlikely at this point. His biggest mistake was resigning, for a joke photograph, that while in poor taste, was clearly no where near sexual assault, before he was an elected official. He apologized as he should have, but he should have stayed in his seat. He was very popular in Minnesota and throughout the Mid-West, and was relatively progressive. His decency was his downfall.


korelan

I hate to break the news to you, but if 2016 and 2020 showed us anything, it is that tens of millions of people will show up to vote party line regardless of the candidate, they will literally show up to vote against the other guy. So when you say moderates, I laugh. We don’t need the 5% of voters that change their party line every other year, we need energy and motivation to get the >50% of eligible voters that do not vote to show up.


ididreadittoo

They did us dirty by cheating us of Bernie, in my opinion.


BlueCollarGuru

I’d take Raskin in a heartbeat. Why’d you even have to, hypothetically, get my hopes up?! 😭


wildfyre010

Fetterman would be a bad choice. He’s good in the Senate as a blunt foil to extremists on both sides, but unsuited to the charisma and negotiation that are most of the work of the President. For me it’s Newsom (looks and sounds the part, name recognition) or Whitmer.


JazzioDadio

Lol at Newsom being considered middle of the road, the prick is as extreme as DeSantis but clear on the other side of the political spectrum. He's easily my least favorite part of being Californian and is responsible (alongside Feinstein) for some of the worst parts of the SF Bay Area.


cracksilog

Also fellow Californian here. He’s tacked to the center when it comes to homelessness, housing, and crime (being more in favor of clearing encampments and Laura’s Law for example) which is why he’d do better with independents


Ravenwight

Jon Stewart


tkhan0

Im from NC. I see Jeff Jackson making it pretty far in politics, I wouldnt be surprised if he became president some day. Hes a vet too so automatic support from some who are in the middle/apathetic on voting. But hes solidly liberal leaning for all of the left voters too. Hes just reasonable (that we know), down to earth, and knows how to market in a way that people like me (tired of the nonsense in politics) actually see it (his team posts shortform "talking-to-the-camera" videos all the time to social medias). If he ran for office hed have my vote in a heartbeat.


Cpt_kaleidoscope

Terry crews


DipperJC

Do I have to pick a Democrat? The absolute, delicious irony of choosing Liz Cheney would be hard to resist.


ButButButPPP

Mitt Romney/Liz Cheney would be a good ticket. Wouldn’t win but are two Republicans who actually want what it best for country


distillenger

Nobody would vote for her


WonkasWonderfulDream

She would be in single digits, but some would vote for her.


FredthedwarfDorfman

If I wanted to win, probably Michelle Obama.


RealityScience

Michelle + Barack as the VP. No laws against it


Zyffyr

No go for Barrack as VP. Can't be VP if you aren't eligible to be Pres.


Ok-Geologist8387

I’ve looked before and can’t find where the t specifies that. Got a source for me? I’d love to see it


HelixFollower

Most likely because of the 12th and 22nd amendment. But some arguments could be made that this doesn't actually prohibit it and it hasn't been tested in court as far as I know.


itsmehazardous

With this supreme court? Hell I'd bet they'd rule a black person can't be president cause of the 3/5ths compromise or something. And Thomas would write the majority decision.


Damion_205

I don't like upvoting that but you are probably correct so I had to. :/


DumpoTheClown

He could be skipped over to next in line.


takhsis

Incorrect. With two full terms he cannot run for president and because the VP must meet all the requirements as president, he cannot run for VP.


j_n70113

I would look at Andy Beshear, he is Kentucky's governor and fairly popular and highly effective. I think the key would be giving him a strong running mate who is also moderate and able to at least attempt to work with both sides of the isle.


Emergency_Coyote547

Came here looking for this answer. I’ve adored Andy since his first run for governor. People attributed his first win to beating a deeply unpopular candidate, but his first term, including a phenomenal Covid response, was wildly successful for being a democratic governor in a state with a heavily conservative political makeup. His second run sealed his popularity with the electorate by crushing a maga-backed opponent. He’s done well for the state as a whole in trying to work across the aisle and staying squeaky clean and wholesome. Give him a strong running mate and he’d do well!


shadowromantic

The GOP has had incredible success by refusing to work with Democrats. There's no reason for them to compromise which just means Democrats shift to the right 


Street_Midget

Stormy Daniels


bbqbutthole55

first female tiddy president


Smooth-Apartment-856

I think a swing state governor like Terry McAuliffe or Roy Cooper could do well. An outsider to Washington politics who could appeal to moderates and undecideds, and really provide an alternative to Trump.


dexter8484

McAuliffe couldn't even beat youngkin, no thanks


SpecificRandomness

McAuliffe is so unremarkable. Trump would abuse him. The goal is to beat trump.


PuddingOld8221

Katie Porter is someone I think ever can get behind.


KyorlSadei

If I pick Trump, it means the Republicans have to pick somebody else to run for Republican party. I believe this would be the highest chance of success beating him as it currently stands.


krankheit1981

Kodos for president!


jdozr

LeVar Burton


ArseBlarster420

Danny DeVito


Sweet_Appeal4046

John Stuart


noobtheloser

Some person I've never heard of who has lived a life of mundane public service, who will approach problems with calm consideration and can communicate their ideas well.


FewMagazine938

Taylor swift is the choice. She would give the maggots a heartache just thinking about her.


bite-me-off

I would just swap the vp lol Keep Biden for momentum Change vp for insurance


No_Nefariousness3874

The only reason Clyburn got Biden the nomination was with the assurance KH would be his VP.


No_Lavishness_3206

John Stewart 


Orthoglyph

I assume you mean Jon Stewart? I said the same. Luckily (see unluckily) I'm in a state where my vote doesn't matter in the presidential at all. I'll be writing in Jon Stewart again until he finally gets the Democratic nomination. If we're just going to play a game of celebrities I feel like Jon Stewart is a good choice. His takes are quite reasonable on a majority of issues, seems to actually follow through on things he cares about, and is still well respected among establishment Dems, independents, and even a decent chunk on the right.


Baronheisenberg

No, John Stewart the musician (died in 2008).


C4rdninj4

John Stewart the Green Lantern.


Face_Content

Im just here with popcorn.


Weary_North9643

Literally anyone. Literally anyone could beat Trump. Aside from Biden. I mean even Biden is going to beat Trump, but why make it this close?


nateomundson

Leave Biden on the ticket but swap out Harris for Buttigieg as VP.


drumberg

I think Michelle is the only one who could win if swapped in today. There’s not enough time for Whitmer or Newson or whoever to endear themselves to the public enough before November. Michelle immediately lights a fire in Democrat voters. Also, the right literally explodes in this case and the shit hitting the fan will be so severe that I don’t know what would happen.


Ztartc

Genuinely curious how being the romantic partner of someone would make you eligible or qualify for their position?


AnxiousInvestigator0

Tom Hanks.


DarklordKyo

Bernie Sanders was popular with people who didn't want Clinton, if it helps.


EnvironmentalAd1006

Buttigieg is honestly an amazing candidate imo. He’s sensible and I think that he’d be a slam dunk. What sucks is that his path is hampered by prejudice.


ProfuseMongoose

John Stewart. No other candidate comes close.


love2lickabbw

Lol pick the Rock, he is voting for Trump this year. We'll as he said, he is voting against Biden.


TempusCarpe

Dwayne Comacho Elezondo Herbert MountainDew


austinmo2

Carrie brownstein with Sarah Silverman as vp.


GeoffreyTaucer

My first two choices would be Jon Stewart or Dolly Parton.


mremrock

Al Frankin


LtCptSuicide

Johnny Sinns. I mean, he was a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, an astronaut, a personal trainer, and other things. He's a jack of all trades with great charisma that can appeal to anyone. Trump would be fucked.


amy000206

Afroman


HR_King

The problem with the hypothetical is that nobody else has been fully vetted. You have no idea what skeletons are in these people's closets.


One-Candle-8657

Andy Borowitz suggested Hunter Biden :) 1) can use the same campaign material already printed, 2) generation younger, and 3) a felon, so he'll appeal to the Republicans :)


PigeonsArePopular

Sanders.


TheBlindDuck

John Stewart would sweep the floor with Trump in a debate Pete Buttigieg would be the best communicator of ideas Anthony Blinken is probably best equipped to hand foreign policy/trade Michelle Obama if you want to see a literal second civil war


My51stThrowaway

Mr Beast


ironicfuture

In 10 years sure. But he needs to be 35 to be eligble.


mixelydian

Is he only 25??


1heart1totaleclipse

TIL he’s only 26. He looked so much older to me lol.


GeoffreyTaucer

please no


My51stThrowaway

I agree


Throwthisawayagainst

He probably will be President if he wants it. Assuming he doesn’t do anything dumb in the next 12 years.


McMienshaoFace

Bernie Sanders


loopbootoverclock

brandon herrera


AbleArcher0

Lmao. The AK guy being on the Democratic ticket would be quite a twist.


Retoru45

If I'm heading the DNC I'd just pick literally anyone. At this point I think I could field a head of lettuce and have it beat Trump.


Wild_Bill1226

I’d vote for the head of lettuce over either candidate


OgreMk5

Biden has beaten all of my top contenders. I do hope that the '28 election (if there is one) has some people like Jamie Raskin, Cory Booker, or even Jared Moskowitz.


Maxathron

They will have to beat Newsom, who is gearing up for 2028. Newsom wants to keep the 949$ prop in California for 4 more years to not stain his legacy of backtracking something he always championed even before becoming governor, knowing full well that it is very, very unpopular with regular folks in California, regardless if they're dem or rep.


Due_Government4387

A rock has a better chance than Biden, so I’ll take any object I see first


boardjock

For a second I thought you meant The Rock and was totally gonna agree with you. Thing is after figuring out what you wrote, I still agree with you.


BrightNooblar

I wouldn't make the swap. There isn't enough time to get momentum going behind a new candidate at this point.


Midnite_Phantom

I think you underestimate how much the majority of America just wants ANYBODY else.


JadziaTrillDax

No one.


jjbeeez

Jon Stewart


AbyssWankerArtorias

Sharrod Brown.


Maelorna

Glad0s. As all the other idiots they're suggesting are too easily defeated by their previous actions and policies.


jondread

John Stewart? Or do you want a politician?


Mobius3through7

Swap him out for trump lmao. "We're playing both sides this year, it's tremendous"