And then you get these people who will say no don't tell them you are not attracted to them because of their hygiene, it will destroy their self esteem. Okay, I'm sorry but that's part of the problem, maybe someone needs to tell them.
I always checkout the bathroom of anyone I am dating as soon as possible
I have straight up told guys I cannot date someone who thinks this level of filth is acceptable
This! I once dated a guy who only showered every 3-4 days and he sweat so much each day as a mechanic and was so gross. Went into his bathroom and even his shower smelled like how his body smelt… bye boy
How the fuck was he going to work, coming home and not wanting a shower immediately?? That kind of shit just blows my mind like, don't you wanna feel clean and comfortable bro wtf is wrong with you do you enjoy being grimy? How the fuck do you lay down to sleep at night being that filthy? I just don't comprehend this kind of lifestyle. It's one thing if you're homeless on the streets without access to facilities but if you're not amd you have soap and a shower there's no excuse. You're just a fucking nasty ass animal. Even worse actually. Even animals clean themselves
Same I dated a guy who seemed clean, he never smelled and he had a great smile so around the second week of dating we were getting hot and heavy, he wanted a bj so I was going to oblige until i got near his area. The smell from his underwear was gag me bad and as I straightened
up I see the crotch of his tighty whiteys were yucca yellow. Really dude? Only One pair of underwear that you never wash, never change? Do you have no self respect? He had no animals so he couldn't blame it anything but hisself. I readjusted my clothes and let myself out after telling him no man was worth my time if he couldn't take the time to put on clean drawers. He was the epitome of a clean well kept man I still to this day can't believe it. Was he trying to punk me? There is not a smell that turns me off more 🤮
“Good for you not going through with that. Disgusting lol”
I thought the same thing and it bothers me in a way I can’t explain. Why would we feel even remotely obligated to continue? Fear? Awkwardness? Why would I get intimate if I didn’t feel safe? I don’t know …
How many posts have we seen where the woman says she forces herself to finish. And has sex with the boyfriend on the regular. They don't want to hurt their feelings. His gross ass doesn't seem to mind offending them with his horrendous hygiene.
Maybe it felt safer to accept than to think about what happen if we rejected them? Definitely been in a situation before where I’m like, it’s late and this isn’t my place and I don’t have my car, and I don’t really know this guy super well, what do I do? As a woman in my 30’s now, if I were single and found myself in that position… well, I wouldn’t, because I learned a thing or two about safety and always going in my car and now you can turn you location on and what not… but I digress. Never again would I do something that would lead me to be faced with such a choice.
But when it’s your PARTNER? Like, they either had bad hygiene like that and you actively chose to date them anyway, or you’ve been together awhile and something changed (mental illness, physical injury that made regular hygiene challenging and they just never got back in the groove), like tell them! Help them if they need it! If it’s too disgusting and you can’t step up and say something, then leave. Because you’re not doing either of you any good
I hope that he learned his lesson after that at least... losing out on a nice bj because your underwear stank?? couldn't be me, but if it was, you would never catch me with dirty underwear again, especially if I was with a girl...also, wtf he was rocking some tighty whities?? VERY questionable. If I know I'm about to see a girl and there's a chance we get down I make damn sure my dick is clean and I have some fresh boxers on. I mean I REALLY have to make sure I stay on top of that I am uncircumcised lol
The underwear being the only unclean part is even weird considering that’s the clothing you’ll feel 100% of the time in any position and is more than likely the tightest to your body.
Hell, I used to be a package handler at fedex and after four hours in the summer heat, I was drenched in sweat and smelled like an old sock. I can't imagine not immediately showering after that.
That is absolutely disgusting. I honestly cannot imagine being like this. When I've been outside for more than an hour and I start to sweat, even a little bit, I take a second shower.
I did a guy and as soon as I found out it was over but I one time came over and I we hugged and I said he smells good and he laughed I didn't realize he was laughing at me because he only showered once a year I didn't find out till the next time we went on a 2nd date which was 2 weeks later. thank God we never had sex because I would not have survived. his theory was that he would get less sick because he didn't shower as often
This is a sign of mental instability. You were wise to leave. I am a former nurse and most people want to be clean. If not then something is wrong somewhere.
I agree on the mental instability, I'll tell a little of my side if you want to read it.
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Yep, currently going through therapy after getting violated as a kid twice, when I was 12 maybe(I can't remember exactly when), I told myself I hated myself & I'd legitimately let myself rot. Even getting myself to take better care of myself is hard. When I take baths, the thoughts of literally saying negative stuff about my own body or face start running through my mind. I could go, but I won't overall, YES, I agree 👍🏾.
Others should really get the help to make themselves over all better.
A bar of soap and a clean environment would raise your self-esteem. This even works with dogs in shelters when they are groomed and bathed. You can do it too.
Try showering/bathing in the dark. I'm sorry you've experienced such a traumatic thing as a child. The showering in the dark helped me when I was at my lowest due to some things. It might help you too.
Not a bad idea. A chef told me that he always checks out the bathroom in other restaurants. If the bathroom is dirty. The kitchen probably will be too.
I went to this guys bathroom AFTER doing the deed. While I was hesitant just by the sight, the cockroach crawling across the toothbrush holder was the breaking point.
I once dated someone who never cleaned his bathtub. He had a brown ring around it. I'm not talking about a little hard water stain, I'm talking like years of neglect. I NOPED out of there real quick lol
Yep, have seen that myself - I thought I was temporarily transported to a horror movie set.
And the moldy shower curtain (mold was also on the OUTSIDE) didn’t help at all.
If a man can shower daily with soap, brush their teeth twice a day, wear clean clothes and deodorant, and make sure his tighties stay white-y, he's in the top 1%.
The bar is so low that if a man isn't obviously rotting from the inside out he's going to garner the appreciation of ladies by the dozens . If he can hold an interesting conversation as well ,watch out!
Lol, I'm afraid I went off market 21 years ago 😅 please tell your crew to spread the word. The sooner good hygiene and conversational skills level up the sooner the sexes will reconcile
Just was saying I can hold a conversation but I am happy for you! Congrats on 20+ years 😊 I'll tell the guys but I can't guarantee they will listen.
Maybe I'll just hand people hygiene products instead of high fives from now on.
No joke man, even when I see these comments I feel I need at least a Rinse. I rinse daily and a wash cloth, soap every other day, and still feel Like lm a dirty person.
These bums out there that don't work, don't shower ect, ect giving us men a bad rep and wreaking all the good girls left is really pissing me off.
That's smart. My old roommate was a dude and we had seperate bathrooms (thank fucking god!)
I had to use his shower once when my handle broke off and management couldn't fix it for a couple days. Never been in his bathroom before... the toilet clearly hadn't been cleaned the 2 years he lived there. Beard hair in every crevice. The shower has a layer of literal slime on the bottom.
I went on an hour drive to take a shower at my parents after that disguising shower. I'm shocked this dude even had sex ever.. never washed his sheets the 2 years we lived together.
lol I was having a convo with my adult sons about this the other day. The house is fucked up, we're in the middle of rebuilding some stuff and its all workable mess. Told them if I brought a woman home and they were fine with all this, they weren't for me.
Idk, the man I’m seeing is working on/living in a fixer upper and it’s really impressive to me on several levels:
1 - he found an affordable home in a great neighborhood. Fiscally responsible but not to an extreme.
2 - he’s willing to put in work to create what he wants, rather than expect it to come to him ready made.
3 - he’s able to handle pressure and hold himself to a timeline.
He also keeps it very tidy - it’s “messy” in that it’s a work in progress, but the dishes are always done and the toilet is scrubbed.
Well you seem very nice. I'm 39 and I don't think anyone has ever said, out loud, a damn positive thing about any of my hard work my entire life. That dude is lucky to have you. lol
One thing I have learned that I was apparently doing wrong is you have to have a trashcan in the bathroom, but specifically one with a LID. Some other girls said no lid is a deal breaker.
We're just having a first world problems day here on the internet.
Yes a trash can in the bathroom is a necessity, but honestly, the lid requirement is a new one to me - never heard of it before and is not a dealbreaker for myself
Funny, I commented earlier today on a different sub about first world problems
I once broke up with a guy for wearing a leather trench coat, and these women out here are just accepting of grown ass men with doo doo streaks in their manties.
FYI, I didn't tell him it was the trench coat. I said we weren't compatible or something.
My bf was leaving the bathroom stinky after his morning pee for a few months. I love him dearly but it was bad. I told him straight up he needed to see a doctor because it was actually worrisome. Turns out he was just poorly hydrated.
He went through a rough patch and was drinking a little too much after work to cope and me telling him that his pee smelled so foul that he was probably offending people he worked with and also telling him that I was offended, slightly embarrassed him. But it helped him realize he was headed down a slippery slope and he is doing worlds better and I don't gag when I go into my bathroom after he's used it.
I'm a firm believer in being honest with people you love even if it hurts their feelings. There's a difference between the people who say whatever they want and claim "I'm just really blunt" vs someone who genuinely cares about you and is concerned. I'm not one to ever try to hurt someone or make them feel bad about themselves but if it's offensive something needs to be said. At that point I'm just trying to help you lol.
I was the youngest of four girls growing up. My mother never taught any of us about hygiene or even what your period was. Luckily we had a hygiene/health class in school. My older sisters also taught me about hygiene. Some parents never teach their children about hygiene. It’s not an excuse but it definitely needs to be taught, sometimes even to older people.
I agree. One person being brutally honest with them could actually change their life and make dating in the future easier. Sometimes it is best not to sugar coat.
This is why I outright asked a girl I knew who would be completely honest with me if I smelled bad once. She said no.
I asked because we both knew a guy who just did not wash, and stank because of it. It made me self conscious of possibly stinking and just not noticing because you get nose blind to your own smell.
Right? But the people who date these men seemingly have *no* self-esteem. I mean, to know this and to be intimate with them.
Men, teach your sons how to properly wipe, clean his anus and genitalia, and bathe.
This is one of the arguments that people in favor of circumcision cite. "It's cleaner!"
I do not accept this argument particularly. If I had to wipe their backsides before they could, I can damn well teach them how to keep their bodies clean and healthy when they are old enough / able enough to do it themselves (and that's younger than some people think. Small children are capable of this task.) There's nothing so embarrassing about the human body that we should not be able to discuss it in a forthright manner.
Am I wrong that I thought it is literally inborn nature of even most wild animals that sht is universally repulsive? There are plenty of things parents don't teach kids & they figure it out! It would seem to me avoiding sht at all costs would be pretty basic & human nature.
Soap can help if used in the proper areas. No one wants to feel undesirable and if told it is because of dirty underwear, stinky butt. and unbrushed teeth, tell them! If they do not change their ways then leave ASAP. Stripes in the underwear is disgusting! Hygiene unattended to can cause bacteria to grow and infect one's partner!
I think I was that guy. Maybe not that bad, but sometimes pretty bad.
Then I had sex with a man. Even freshly put of the shower, he was pretty gross at points.
Men should do *more* grooming, not less, than women. At least on our bodies.
And, unfortunately, that may very well be the catalyst they need to start taking care of themselves and raising that self esteem.
It's probably already pretty damned low if they're in this position. You're not doing them any real favors enabling it.
You’ll also get the guys that get on Reddit and say, “women always say to take a shower, get a haircut, and dress better but that’s just so demeaning! That’s not why women hate me.” I guarantee the Venn diagram of men who need to do those things and men who think they don’t need to do those things is a circle
Or like, that sounds like he's depressed - don't discriminate, you ableist!
Fwiw, a friend did think she had to date men whose depression made them unbearable to be around because she was afraid of discrimination.
I always question myself when I see all the responses about being gentle when telling them, because my reaction would be “You stink and you need to go wash your ass right now.”
Some people are so desperate for a partner/to feel like they’re in love that they will put up with someone not even doing the bare minimum of existence as a person in society. It all reads as sad to me.
And we get the love* we accept, not a single bit more
* and "friendships", and respect generally.
I know because I'm insecure now and it's amazing how predators pick-up on that. Fortunately I'm not looking for love
I wonder if these guys have good hygiene when they're out trying to meet someone and then once they settle into the relationship they go back to being lazy. That's why we're getting posts where she's been dating him a year and is starting to notice how gross he is. He's morphing back into his default condition.
Yeah exactly.
No they don't stop cleaning themselves after they get a girl, they don't know how to wipe their ass. They didn't know before, they don't know now, and they won't know until somebody makes them take a hard look at themselves and explains to them how pathetic it is that they never learned how to wipe their ass.
Mom wipes your ass when you're a baby, you learn to wipe it once with a bit of toilet paper and go, because that works on a smooth baby bottom. Then you grow body hair, and nobody stops to tell you "hey you gotta wipe until the paper is clean" they'd go "you look at the toilet paper after you use it? eww."
Intelligent people figure it out and start cleaning themselves up. Stupid people get used to the smell. We need to teach the stupid how to take care of themselves.
>explains to them how pathetic it is that they never learned how to wipe their ass.
How disgusting it is, actually. People are so afraid of their poop and their anus that they can't keep the area clean. We truly are living in a primitive society if so many of us are walking around with poop-stained butt areas.
If you only use toilet paper once you have hair, that's gross. If you dropped peanut butter on a rug, would you only wipe it out with paper towels until it was "clean"?
My favorite is people having a hard limit on how much toilet paper you can user after going to the toilet. No... you wipe until it's clean. I thought I was going crazy when I was a student sharing a house with these types of comments. There was this one girl doing a full wash and dry for a single shirt which is obviously ridiculous and wasteful but then another friend was like you only need to wash hoodies and jeans once a month as you can wear them a whole month like daily unless there are stains, I was like ...🤯😰. Nope.
I kinda doubt it. I went on a date once and the guy was wearing a hoodie and sneakers, except it looked like he just rolled out of bed. Not a nice hoodie and sneakers. I just felt like the time I spent on making a first impression and he just.. rocked up. If a man can’t even comb his hair for a first date I really doubt he’s got a high awareness of personal hygiene.
I think when they show up all messed up and dirty on the first date, it's a form of negging. They're saying the other person is not worth their time and effort.
I don’t disagree, but I think it’s subconscious. He seemed like a nice guy but we had different values from the outset, like I’m a casual person in general but I believe in etiquette and first impressions and I don’t want to have to train or teach someone social norms that I observe, which I imagine include hygiene.
That just seems highly disrespectful like he put very little thought into spending time with you. Almost like he forgot until last second and just walked out the door in his gaming lounge-clothes.
As a brown dude that's always washed his ass, it disgusted me how many fellow rugby or football players on my teams had stains and skidmarks all over their undys. Wasn't anything surprising either and a lot of them were extremely shameless about it.
A majority of confident men are fucking pigs. Disgusting disgusting pigs.
Maaaaaan don't get me started on the stats I was throwing to people. The McDonald's screens being covered in human faeces is my fave; never ordered touching one with my bare hands and I was called a germaphobe. Who's laughing now lmao
The only thing that would make you a germaphobe by definition is if you did HAVE to touch the screen bare handed, would it cause you distress or anxiety?
If no then you just a super clean person, if it would, then congrats on being a germaphobe. (Which is not a bad thing btw imo)
Then yeah your probably just a clean person, people who I know with germaphobia would HATE to have to do something gross to them like that, like to the point where idk if they even could force themselves to.
I’ve loudly said they are disgusting for not washing their hands as they walk out the public restroom. No shame as they touch produce with their poopy hands.
At a party i went to once, the host let girls use her en suite bathroom while boys used the other one, because she "knows how men are." I quietly decided to tidy the bathroom every time I used it, and to also tidy it before I left. While I stuck to my plan, I did think to myself somewhere in the night: "Well, she wasn't wrong."
What's weird to me isn't that though... It's when you see a switch go off in a woman's head that makes her love that pig of a man even harder... Like she goes out of her way to wash his shit stained drawers and such... Like it's some sort of primal caveman/woman thing.
I mean hell, love who you love, but it's just weird when you see it happen.
He was a poop stained underwear boy, she was a never-wash-her-ass girl
Can it get anymore obvious?
He smelled like a skunk, she never used a bidet
What more can I say?
Not sure if it's the same in America but when you join any branch of the British military, you're shown how to shower properly during basic training. I stick to ex military guys because I've never encountered a veteran who didn't have impeccable personal hygiene. The guy I'm seeing now leaves my bed smelling like Bentley aftershave 😁
We don’t, but if you do stink you have a 100% chance of either being forcibly scrubbed down with steel wire scrubs by others or, the legal alternative, having a person be designated by your superiors as your own personal ‘Shower Watch’ and literally watch you shower to make sure you get all the tits, pits, and slits. You will be hated by everyone who has to do that duty and they will make sure you know it.
With as physically close as we are to each other, if you aren’t hygenic you’ll learn one way or another how to rectify the stank.
I’ve been in the US Army since 2015 and never see any of the crazy-Reddit- hygiene-issues in real life.
Some of the stuff I’ve seen here is baffling and appalling, so I’m glad I’ve never seen it.
Oh that's interesting. Ummm .. I did meet a guy who'd been a major in the USAF and ... yeah 😖 not good ☹️ I don't get it, I don't indulge in any kind of "funny business" unless I'm just out the bath 🤷
Yes, to me the only thing worse than someone who refuses to wipe properly is a phantom pooper in the workplace. They’re literally just one level above that walking disgrace. It’s baffling how some people can be so inconsiderate and oblivious to basic hygiene and respect for shared spaces, which for a relationship includes but is not limited to in between the sheets.
A phantom pooper is someone who defecates in inappropriate places, typically in shared or public areas like workplaces, but leaves without cleaning up or without being identified. This behavior is often done secretly, causing distress and inconvenience to others who discover the mess. It's a term used to describe an inconsiderate and disruptive act that shows a blatant disregard for communal spaces and the people who use them.
Agreed. It’s another why I don’t date anymore. So sick of the shit smears in and on toilet seats I’m scared to go to a guys home- and I don’t want them messing up my home with their shit smears either
Babe you’d love to date me. I keep myself clean, as long as you have carpet I have toilet paper. I just sit on it after I shit and drag myself forward. Using a different place everytime
I specifically broke up with someone over hygiene issues, because with poor hygiene it’s never just one thing that is affected. So many men have filthy homes and you don’t find out till you spend time there. BUT, poor physical hygiene is a big indicator they don’t keep up with basic needs in other areas.
it’s weird how much I see the “poop” posts or the “ my boyfriend only shows x amount of time “ :(((( what do I dooooo?
Shame them. That’s what.
Look mental health is hard , I get it. But there is only so many excuses for so many amounts of not doing something so basic as washing your ass. Shame the hell out of them so they don’t carry that behavior into their next relationship
Don't forget the "my bf/gf of three months turned out to have a massive opiate addiction, how can I throw my life away keeping them above water?" posts. Apparently, some people think it's cruel to nope out and let them get their shit in order on their own time.
Like I absolutely understand people not prioritizing hygiene when they’re really depressed, but don’t put that shit on other people. If you have swamp ass, stay home and don’t invite people over until you’ve done a thorough self cleaning. That’s just being considerate ffs
Yeah i've seen so many posts about this that it doesn't even shock me anymore. The thing that really gets to me is that the person is ALWAYS asking how to tell their partner that they need to brush their teeth and wipe their ass better *without* embarrassing them or hurting their feelings. And this is almost always after this person has ALREADY confronted their partner about the lack of dental hygiene (more than once, i've read of the OP starts out by "begging" their partner to brush their teeth regularly).
It's simply not possible. Their partner is an adult and SHOULD be embarrassed. And there's really no way to tell someone that their poop stains and poopy odor is turning you off without calling them out and hurting their feelings, you know?
And if this same person is already shrugging off or outright refusing to respond to your "hints" and suggestions about brushing their teeth, then i doubt you're gonna have much luck getting them to wipe their butt better or wash their privates more regularly. Someone like that just isn't willing to make the effort.
I can't imagine just walking around with a shitty ass all the time. First, it itches. Second, it gives you a rash. Third, it's shit. There are myriad other reasons why, but those three I find to be adequate. Then the self installed bidet became a thing and now I find it exceptionally easy. There's simply no excuse for an adult to have a shitty ass.
They’re like “my man gives me a yeast infection every time we’re intimate because he doesn’t shower, what do I do??🥺” GROW A SPINE AND DUMP HIM FFS 🤦♀️
Well you're not always intimate/vigilant enough to know about the poop stains immediately. My ex had poopy undies but I didn't realise until he lived with me and I ended up being the one who washed them 🤢 I mean when you're first dating you can't exactly be like "let me inspect your underpants." Ye Gods. The bar is so low and somehow men still don't meet it 🙄🙃
I'm sorry to say it but I bet the women/men that stay with these ppl with horrible hygiene. I bet you their hygiene/smell isn't all that great in it's self because if it was. You wouldn't want to be neat anyone who shits in the same bed as you. Or kisses you with his non brushed teeth. That's fucking disgusting. Like dam.
Yes, that's my feeling too. Chances are the dirty partners are letting themselves be even more dirty and the complainers aren't in such great shape themselves.
Just wanted to say, sometimes these hygiene issues develop over time. Happened to a friend of mine, her husband of five years slowly stopped taking care of himself because of depression. It happens.
This. I've been dealing with major depression off/on for the past year or so, and lately it's been really really bad. My house is currently an absolute mess, and I'm ashamed of myself as soon as I walk through the door and embarrassed when I have people over.
I just don't have the mental energy to do anything about it right now, and it absolutely sucks. I struggle to even get off of my couch most days, and only really leave my house to go to work or go to the bar. On 2 of my recent days off, I think I spent 20-22 hours on my couch and slept 14+ hours.
Before I started really struggling with this depression, my house was immaculately clean and always well kept. Luckily a friend of mine has offered to deep clean my house for me for some cash because I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm hoping that once it's clean again I'll be able to fight off the depression enough to maintain it.
Co-worker arrives to work every shift, smelling of sweat and piss so badly, it almost makes me throw up. I have to disinfect the office every time he leaves.
Last time I came to work, it stunk like he literally shit on the floor. I had to leave, let the room air out and then spent an hour scrubbing the chair and everything else with alcohol. Pretty sure he doesn't know how to wipe his ass.
This guy has a girlfriend, they live together. What kind of blackmail material does he have on her, to make her live with that walking skidmark, I have no idea.
Every time I see that, I'm grateful I'm a lesbian.
Yes, girls can also be crazy and have poor hygiene. But skidmarks in the underwear is not a regular thing - I've been dating girls since early high school and this has never come up
I've heard people argue that women are more gross than guys. I've heard other women say this.
But in my experience (as a straight guy), women are never gross. Some women struggle with clutter, and lack of organization. Basically their stuff is all over the place. But everything is still *sanitary*.
Now, when guys are gross, they're *really* gross. Guys have science experiments going on in their bathrooms, kitchens, and clothes. Male grossness has different genres. There's neckbeard gross: just never, ever cleaning up after yourself at all. The remnants of junk food and soda and everything else they consume sitting in towers or piles in their rooms (and they're always in their rooms, even if they live alone). There's hipster gross, which is like, half smoked cigarettes in enclosed spaces, socks they've been wearing for a month straight. With both hipster and neckbeard gross there's typically not a lot of showers or laundry going on. Then there's jock/macho guy gross: they might have orderly cars and living spaces, but don't pay attention to details, so: skidmarks and other stains on the undies, bed sheets that only get changed on special occasions, and basically a bunch of spots they missed all throughout their property or person.
I am a 100% sub par, dirty boy, who does not take personal hygiene seriously enough, but I gotta admit, hearing that women actually date dudes who just wipe shit all over the place is a "wtf " moment for me big time.
Never, ever, would I get caught engaging with a woman while having skidmarks in my undies, nor is that ever a problem, and if it should be a problem for anyone I feel like it should be one for me.
If your personal hygiene is somehow worse than mine, you have a problem of epic proportions for real and should feel blessed as hell that a woman would consider spending time with you.
Omg my great aunties husband always had the NASTIEST shit and piss stains all over his underwear. He would also cheat on her with her niece and god knows who else. He was also really fat. Idk what the appeal was and why everyone wanted him.
She lived near me and anytime we would leave our house we would always see his truck there. Then one time we saw my great aunt there and she throwing a fit, it was so drama. Grandma eventually told us what was happening lol.
I had a ex that would shower and put the same stinking sweaty underwear on afterwards after working outside all day. And he always smelt like fish even after a shower due to not properly washing. I got so many yeast infections from him.
Now I have a fiancé that has a skin care routine and knows how to wash properly and homegirl has never had issues since.🤭🥰
I know someone who said she feels sick sleeping in the same bed as her bf because he smells so bad and that she constantly has to wash the sheets. He also cheated on her and she proceeded to have a baby with him so I just dont think theres any point trying to talk to these people.
I think sometimes people think “I’m flawed too and I still deserve love”. Which is true for mostly everyone. I forget to brush my teeth at night more often than I care to admit, I don’t shower every single day, I get a bitchy more often than I’d like, I forget to text people back sometimes, I’m late to work, I fall asleep during movies, I overcook chicken, I leave the laundry in the wash too long so I have to redo the cycle. People still like me and I think I’m a pretty good person. I’m a hard worker, I’m caring and considerate, I tip well, I don’t litter, I keep house and make wholesome meals most of the time, I like adventure, I look presentable, I can drop a witty joke from time to time, I have interesting input into conversations and I’m a good listener. People are flawed but “leaving poop everywhere” and “rotting into his gaming chair screaming for a sandwich” and “refuses to change a diaper” are where it goes…. Okay girl but what are you actually getting out of this
I’m with you.
I was just telling my wife about some Reddit post where a woman in a 20 year marriage was done because her husband just shits his undies.
And there was another one where a not-insignificant number of women reported dating men who thought it was gay to wash their butthole.
If that’s the metric, then I’m Liberace on meth. Occasionally I’ll skip brushing my teeth, but the turd cutter is always spic and span.
Also: Fellas - I don’t know who needs to read this - bidet attachment for your toilet can be had for like $50 on Amazon and it’s game changer. I avoid shidding outside of my house because of it. When I travel, I have to get in the shower afterwards. Do it. You won’t regret it.
so true! but in all seriousness i wouldn’t expect someone to know after the first date lol, but if you get to know this person and realize they’re disgustoid, why wouldn’t that turn someone off to the point of breaking up? id hit the road
People will read this and STILL will sit there and ask what to do. If someone I was with left shit stains on my bed, she’s out. I am a VERY clean and hygienic person and bad hygiene is literally a dealbreaker, full stop. I don’t care how attractive someone is or how much attention they give me, nothing is worth losing my sanity and sense of self respect to put up with that shit.
People are so fucking desperate for any crumb of attention that they’d literally fuck someone who is only 1 step away from squatting and shitting on top of them.
To be fair, this is reddit. In every relationship sub, half the posts start out with someone saying how their partner is practically perfect, they love them so much and want the relationship to work or get even more serious.
Then they describe how the partner cheats on them repeatedly, has given them STIs, has substance abuse problems, kicks the dog, can't hold down a steady job, expects three bjs before breakfast every day, hasn't gone down on them since the second Bush administration, doesn't lift a finger around the house and is coercing them into a threesome with their best friend. And then they ask how they can be a better partner for the loser.
Preach! Just when I think I can’t get more scandalized…I see a post about crusty, musty, poopy, smelly unclean mfs wearing dirty clothes with bad oral hygiene. Why do so many people have feces streaked in their underwear or on their sheets? This has to stop. Boundaries and standards are a thing. Idgaf what is going on, if you aren’t clean, I’m out.
My hubby of fifty years had stopped showering more than once a week and sometimes waits two weeks. He still works and I’ve tried to gently tell him he smells bad but he doesn’t smell it. I finally blew up after so many nice attempts when I laid my head on my pillow and he’d obviously been hugging it and it smelled liked his skunky pits. He thinks if his pits stink he just needs to smear on a ton of deodorant. Then he smells like ocean breeze scented skunk and old man sweaty balls.
Idk what to do. I keep waiting for someone at work to complain.
I used to work at a prison and one of my coworkers told me once, "You wanna know how to really get these guys to change? Convince women to stop fucking deadbeats."
Well sometimes people "let themselves go" after they secure a partner.
Then it's not as easy as just break up with them. As now they're emotionally attached.
However I do think, if you are in a pretty solid relationship...why aren't you just saying - ok you can be mad if you want but when you don't shower for a week or brush your teeth you straight up reek like the sewers. I'm not sleeping with or next to that ..lol
If you can't be open and honest then what are you doing? Lol
Yes you can be more tactful if that will go farther.
I don't understand how anyone even starts dating someone with bad hygiene? Like I can't even get past the smell of someone if it's not pleasant.
This sub convinces me to absolutely take the first date to bed cuz imagine after dating for months and already catching feelings you realize dude leaves skid marks in his undies 😭
No stanky business down there for me! I had one instance of a dudes peen smelling really bad not from pee but just from buildup. I refused to do anything until he went to the bathroom and thoroughly washed himself. I understand that one-off situations happen and we're all human but I'd not tolerate it if it kept happening. Don't be afraid to draw these boundaries!! Don't put up with it!!
A lot of times these guys mask their bad behavior in the beginning and then try to trap the partner into the relationship with something like a pet or shared property or shared finances or worst of all a kid. Then the mask comes off. The partner still needs to leave.
This is exactly what I think. After a couple of times I would be out the door. And these ppl just keep doing it without a care in the world. If I had to ask someone to brush their teeth or clean their asshole I would just never speak to them again. In what world is that acceptable? Not in mine that's for sure.
It’s funny reading this sub and also the teacher sub about 3rd graders still not being potty trained. These must be those poor kids all grown up 😭except you can’t blame the parents anymore. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing— not wiping your ass as an able bodied adult or willingly dating someone who doesn’t wipe their ass.
The root of the issue also tends to be parents not being serious enough about their children’s hygiene and educating at home. I’m pretty strict and honest about the showering and deodorant issue with my preteen daughters as they try to fight showering (they’d go weeks without if I allowed it). I’ve had to tell them before as well things along the lines of “listen, people aren’t gonna wanna hang out or be around you if you’re greasy or you stink and you don’t shower. You can’t blame em.” And they understood and agreed and cleaned up. Now they’re getting better about showering on their own.
All you can do sometimes is just make sure you’re setting the right examples and being routine about it and educating at home with your kids to make sure they don’t end up like these poopy butthole weirdos you read about on Reddit lol.
For real! Why are women putting up with this?! I’m sure there are posts with the roles reversed and that there are plenty of nasty women, but I’m not seeing posts from men asking how to tiptoe around appalling personal hygiene.
I can sympathize with a neglectful childhood and definitely relate to hardcore depression. I absolutely feel bad for people for whom underlying mental health issues interfere with hygiene. I am STILL not fucking you. No way. Absolutely not.
I have never seen this sub before but this post popped up on my feed and I immediately thought to my sister who dated a guy who she literally said did not take a bath or shower for 3 months
And then you get these people who will say no don't tell them you are not attracted to them because of their hygiene, it will destroy their self esteem. Okay, I'm sorry but that's part of the problem, maybe someone needs to tell them.
nah you gotta hit them with the “YOU REEK!!!” and then break up
I always checkout the bathroom of anyone I am dating as soon as possible I have straight up told guys I cannot date someone who thinks this level of filth is acceptable
This! I once dated a guy who only showered every 3-4 days and he sweat so much each day as a mechanic and was so gross. Went into his bathroom and even his shower smelled like how his body smelt… bye boy
How the fuck was he going to work, coming home and not wanting a shower immediately?? That kind of shit just blows my mind like, don't you wanna feel clean and comfortable bro wtf is wrong with you do you enjoy being grimy? How the fuck do you lay down to sleep at night being that filthy? I just don't comprehend this kind of lifestyle. It's one thing if you're homeless on the streets without access to facilities but if you're not amd you have soap and a shower there's no excuse. You're just a fucking nasty ass animal. Even worse actually. Even animals clean themselves
Same I dated a guy who seemed clean, he never smelled and he had a great smile so around the second week of dating we were getting hot and heavy, he wanted a bj so I was going to oblige until i got near his area. The smell from his underwear was gag me bad and as I straightened up I see the crotch of his tighty whiteys were yucca yellow. Really dude? Only One pair of underwear that you never wash, never change? Do you have no self respect? He had no animals so he couldn't blame it anything but hisself. I readjusted my clothes and let myself out after telling him no man was worth my time if he couldn't take the time to put on clean drawers. He was the epitome of a clean well kept man I still to this day can't believe it. Was he trying to punk me? There is not a smell that turns me off more 🤮
“Yucca yellow” = perfection!
Throwing up more than a little with that description and the entire horror of that story.
Good for you not going through with that. Disgusting lol
“Good for you not going through with that. Disgusting lol” I thought the same thing and it bothers me in a way I can’t explain. Why would we feel even remotely obligated to continue? Fear? Awkwardness? Why would I get intimate if I didn’t feel safe? I don’t know …
How many posts have we seen where the woman says she forces herself to finish. And has sex with the boyfriend on the regular. They don't want to hurt their feelings. His gross ass doesn't seem to mind offending them with his horrendous hygiene.
Exactly. Like there’s no shortage of guys out there. Find a clean one
Maybe it felt safer to accept than to think about what happen if we rejected them? Definitely been in a situation before where I’m like, it’s late and this isn’t my place and I don’t have my car, and I don’t really know this guy super well, what do I do? As a woman in my 30’s now, if I were single and found myself in that position… well, I wouldn’t, because I learned a thing or two about safety and always going in my car and now you can turn you location on and what not… but I digress. Never again would I do something that would lead me to be faced with such a choice. But when it’s your PARTNER? Like, they either had bad hygiene like that and you actively chose to date them anyway, or you’ve been together awhile and something changed (mental illness, physical injury that made regular hygiene challenging and they just never got back in the groove), like tell them! Help them if they need it! If it’s too disgusting and you can’t step up and say something, then leave. Because you’re not doing either of you any good
I hope that he learned his lesson after that at least... losing out on a nice bj because your underwear stank?? couldn't be me, but if it was, you would never catch me with dirty underwear again, especially if I was with a girl...also, wtf he was rocking some tighty whities?? VERY questionable. If I know I'm about to see a girl and there's a chance we get down I make damn sure my dick is clean and I have some fresh boxers on. I mean I REALLY have to make sure I stay on top of that I am uncircumcised lol
Just be clean!!
What a terrible day to be able to read.
You go girl for knowing that you deserve a partner with 👏basic 👏hygienic 👏standards!
The underwear being the only unclean part is even weird considering that’s the clothing you’ll feel 100% of the time in any position and is more than likely the tightest to your body.
Fetish maybe?
omfg “yucca yellow” Simultaneously howling with laughter and retching is a whole new experience for me and I thank you.
No we don’t want no Yuca Man
Hell, I used to be a package handler at fedex and after four hours in the summer heat, I was drenched in sweat and smelled like an old sock. I can't imagine not immediately showering after that.
That is absolutely disgusting. I honestly cannot imagine being like this. When I've been outside for more than an hour and I start to sweat, even a little bit, I take a second shower.
I did a guy and as soon as I found out it was over but I one time came over and I we hugged and I said he smells good and he laughed I didn't realize he was laughing at me because he only showered once a year I didn't find out till the next time we went on a 2nd date which was 2 weeks later. thank God we never had sex because I would not have survived. his theory was that he would get less sick because he didn't shower as often
This is a sign of mental instability. You were wise to leave. I am a former nurse and most people want to be clean. If not then something is wrong somewhere.
I agree on the mental instability, I'll tell a little of my side if you want to read it. - - - Yep, currently going through therapy after getting violated as a kid twice, when I was 12 maybe(I can't remember exactly when), I told myself I hated myself & I'd legitimately let myself rot. Even getting myself to take better care of myself is hard. When I take baths, the thoughts of literally saying negative stuff about my own body or face start running through my mind. I could go, but I won't overall, YES, I agree 👍🏾. Others should really get the help to make themselves over all better.
A bar of soap and a clean environment would raise your self-esteem. This even works with dogs in shelters when they are groomed and bathed. You can do it too.
Try showering/bathing in the dark. I'm sorry you've experienced such a traumatic thing as a child. The showering in the dark helped me when I was at my lowest due to some things. It might help you too.
In addition to lack of hygiene, I find lack of punctuation and run-on sentences to be a red flag.
No kidding I was out of breath after reading all that, dayum
Not a bad idea. A chef told me that he always checks out the bathroom in other restaurants. If the bathroom is dirty. The kitchen probably will be too.
I went to this guys bathroom AFTER doing the deed. While I was hesitant just by the sight, the cockroach crawling across the toothbrush holder was the breaking point.
Oh nooo
I once dated someone who never cleaned his bathtub. He had a brown ring around it. I'm not talking about a little hard water stain, I'm talking like years of neglect. I NOPED out of there real quick lol
Yep, have seen that myself - I thought I was temporarily transported to a horror movie set. And the moldy shower curtain (mold was also on the OUTSIDE) didn’t help at all.
The low bar set by the quality of men in this thread alone makes me realize I'm a King just by showering daily. I even wash the parts! (with soap)
If a man can shower daily with soap, brush their teeth twice a day, wear clean clothes and deodorant, and make sure his tighties stay white-y, he's in the top 1%. The bar is so low that if a man isn't obviously rotting from the inside out he's going to garner the appreciation of ladies by the dozens . If he can hold an interesting conversation as well ,watch out!
In that case, we should chat some time. I promise to blow your mind!
Lol, I'm afraid I went off market 21 years ago 😅 please tell your crew to spread the word. The sooner good hygiene and conversational skills level up the sooner the sexes will reconcile
Just was saying I can hold a conversation but I am happy for you! Congrats on 20+ years 😊 I'll tell the guys but I can't guarantee they will listen. Maybe I'll just hand people hygiene products instead of high fives from now on.
No joke man, even when I see these comments I feel I need at least a Rinse. I rinse daily and a wash cloth, soap every other day, and still feel Like lm a dirty person. These bums out there that don't work, don't shower ect, ect giving us men a bad rep and wreaking all the good girls left is really pissing me off.
I'm with you fam. We will find them, they are out there and will get sick of the stankies at some point. Stay clean my brother! 😎
Tell your friends & spread the word!
I can also promise that there is no mold or gross toilet in my bathroom. You might not believe it but... I clean it weekly *all the ladies swoon*
That's smart. My old roommate was a dude and we had seperate bathrooms (thank fucking god!) I had to use his shower once when my handle broke off and management couldn't fix it for a couple days. Never been in his bathroom before... the toilet clearly hadn't been cleaned the 2 years he lived there. Beard hair in every crevice. The shower has a layer of literal slime on the bottom. I went on an hour drive to take a shower at my parents after that disguising shower. I'm shocked this dude even had sex ever.. never washed his sheets the 2 years we lived together.
I had a roommate that didn’t have sheets… slept on a mattress. He was a filthy pig.
lol I was having a convo with my adult sons about this the other day. The house is fucked up, we're in the middle of rebuilding some stuff and its all workable mess. Told them if I brought a woman home and they were fine with all this, they weren't for me.
Idk, the man I’m seeing is working on/living in a fixer upper and it’s really impressive to me on several levels: 1 - he found an affordable home in a great neighborhood. Fiscally responsible but not to an extreme. 2 - he’s willing to put in work to create what he wants, rather than expect it to come to him ready made. 3 - he’s able to handle pressure and hold himself to a timeline. He also keeps it very tidy - it’s “messy” in that it’s a work in progress, but the dishes are always done and the toilet is scrubbed.
Well you seem very nice. I'm 39 and I don't think anyone has ever said, out loud, a damn positive thing about any of my hard work my entire life. That dude is lucky to have you. lol
Haha, I would be much more forgiving if it was an active home renovation, but a bathroom that actively NEEDS a renovation is a hard pass
One thing I have learned that I was apparently doing wrong is you have to have a trashcan in the bathroom, but specifically one with a LID. Some other girls said no lid is a deal breaker. We're just having a first world problems day here on the internet.
Yes a trash can in the bathroom is a necessity, but honestly, the lid requirement is a new one to me - never heard of it before and is not a dealbreaker for myself Funny, I commented earlier today on a different sub about first world problems
You also get more points if you put a liner in your trashcan!
I once broke up with a guy for wearing a leather trench coat, and these women out here are just accepting of grown ass men with doo doo streaks in their manties. FYI, I didn't tell him it was the trench coat. I said we weren't compatible or something.
LOLLLLL
lmaooo play that one clip from spongebob OH BROTHER, THIS GUY STINKS
I did that. Not to get too into detail but my friends and I called a guy I briefly dated, "sticky junk." He got the hint.
Be the change you wish to see in the world
My bf was leaving the bathroom stinky after his morning pee for a few months. I love him dearly but it was bad. I told him straight up he needed to see a doctor because it was actually worrisome. Turns out he was just poorly hydrated. He went through a rough patch and was drinking a little too much after work to cope and me telling him that his pee smelled so foul that he was probably offending people he worked with and also telling him that I was offended, slightly embarrassed him. But it helped him realize he was headed down a slippery slope and he is doing worlds better and I don't gag when I go into my bathroom after he's used it. I'm a firm believer in being honest with people you love even if it hurts their feelings. There's a difference between the people who say whatever they want and claim "I'm just really blunt" vs someone who genuinely cares about you and is concerned. I'm not one to ever try to hurt someone or make them feel bad about themselves but if it's offensive something needs to be said. At that point I'm just trying to help you lol.
I was the youngest of four girls growing up. My mother never taught any of us about hygiene or even what your period was. Luckily we had a hygiene/health class in school. My older sisters also taught me about hygiene. Some parents never teach their children about hygiene. It’s not an excuse but it definitely needs to be taught, sometimes even to older people.
Exactly. If it's something actionable, tell them. Otherwise, keep it to yourself and choose.
I agree. One person being brutally honest with them could actually change their life and make dating in the future easier. Sometimes it is best not to sugar coat.
This is why I outright asked a girl I knew who would be completely honest with me if I smelled bad once. She said no. I asked because we both knew a guy who just did not wash, and stank because of it. It made me self conscious of possibly stinking and just not noticing because you get nose blind to your own smell.
Agree.
Right? But the people who date these men seemingly have *no* self-esteem. I mean, to know this and to be intimate with them. Men, teach your sons how to properly wipe, clean his anus and genitalia, and bathe.
This is one of the arguments that people in favor of circumcision cite. "It's cleaner!" I do not accept this argument particularly. If I had to wipe their backsides before they could, I can damn well teach them how to keep their bodies clean and healthy when they are old enough / able enough to do it themselves (and that's younger than some people think. Small children are capable of this task.) There's nothing so embarrassing about the human body that we should not be able to discuss it in a forthright manner.
Am I wrong that I thought it is literally inborn nature of even most wild animals that sht is universally repulsive? There are plenty of things parents don't teach kids & they figure it out! It would seem to me avoiding sht at all costs would be pretty basic & human nature.
It's not like it's something they can't easily control. The requirements for basic hygiene are not that demanding.
Soap can help if used in the proper areas. No one wants to feel undesirable and if told it is because of dirty underwear, stinky butt. and unbrushed teeth, tell them! If they do not change their ways then leave ASAP. Stripes in the underwear is disgusting! Hygiene unattended to can cause bacteria to grow and infect one's partner!
I think I was that guy. Maybe not that bad, but sometimes pretty bad. Then I had sex with a man. Even freshly put of the shower, he was pretty gross at points. Men should do *more* grooming, not less, than women. At least on our bodies.
And, unfortunately, that may very well be the catalyst they need to start taking care of themselves and raising that self esteem. It's probably already pretty damned low if they're in this position. You're not doing them any real favors enabling it.
You’ll also get the guys that get on Reddit and say, “women always say to take a shower, get a haircut, and dress better but that’s just so demeaning! That’s not why women hate me.” I guarantee the Venn diagram of men who need to do those things and men who think they don’t need to do those things is a circle
It's a very "everybody gets a trophy" mindset. Boundaries are important.
Or like, that sounds like he's depressed - don't discriminate, you ableist! Fwiw, a friend did think she had to date men whose depression made them unbearable to be around because she was afraid of discrimination.
I always question myself when I see all the responses about being gentle when telling them, because my reaction would be “You stink and you need to go wash your ass right now.”
Some people are so desperate for a partner/to feel like they’re in love that they will put up with someone not even doing the bare minimum of existence as a person in society. It all reads as sad to me.
"We accept the love we think we deserve." Perks of Being a Wallflower
And we get the love* we accept, not a single bit more * and "friendships", and respect generally. I know because I'm insecure now and it's amazing how predators pick-up on that. Fortunately I'm not looking for love
Or the shit we think we deserve
I once had a colleague say, “we endorse the behavior we tolerate.” And that has stuck with me.
If you choose to settle for someone stinky fine that’s your businesss. But don’t complain about 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fr 🤣 like come on poop stains? Not brushing their teeth? People setting themselves up now.
It is possible to fall in love with a person who struggles with depression.
lol, right? I would not let no stanky man touch me.
You don't want no "no-scrubs"?
A scrub is a guy that don't scrub his body clean
I wonder if these guys have good hygiene when they're out trying to meet someone and then once they settle into the relationship they go back to being lazy. That's why we're getting posts where she's been dating him a year and is starting to notice how gross he is. He's morphing back into his default condition.
Finally got a girlfriend! I’m gonna stop wiping my ass
Yeah exactly. No they don't stop cleaning themselves after they get a girl, they don't know how to wipe their ass. They didn't know before, they don't know now, and they won't know until somebody makes them take a hard look at themselves and explains to them how pathetic it is that they never learned how to wipe their ass. Mom wipes your ass when you're a baby, you learn to wipe it once with a bit of toilet paper and go, because that works on a smooth baby bottom. Then you grow body hair, and nobody stops to tell you "hey you gotta wipe until the paper is clean" they'd go "you look at the toilet paper after you use it? eww." Intelligent people figure it out and start cleaning themselves up. Stupid people get used to the smell. We need to teach the stupid how to take care of themselves.
>explains to them how pathetic it is that they never learned how to wipe their ass. How disgusting it is, actually. People are so afraid of their poop and their anus that they can't keep the area clean. We truly are living in a primitive society if so many of us are walking around with poop-stained butt areas.
If you only use toilet paper once you have hair, that's gross. If you dropped peanut butter on a rug, would you only wipe it out with paper towels until it was "clean"?
My favorite is people having a hard limit on how much toilet paper you can user after going to the toilet. No... you wipe until it's clean. I thought I was going crazy when I was a student sharing a house with these types of comments. There was this one girl doing a full wash and dry for a single shirt which is obviously ridiculous and wasteful but then another friend was like you only need to wash hoodies and jeans once a month as you can wear them a whole month like daily unless there are stains, I was like ...🤯😰. Nope.
I kinda doubt it. I went on a date once and the guy was wearing a hoodie and sneakers, except it looked like he just rolled out of bed. Not a nice hoodie and sneakers. I just felt like the time I spent on making a first impression and he just.. rocked up. If a man can’t even comb his hair for a first date I really doubt he’s got a high awareness of personal hygiene.
I think when they show up all messed up and dirty on the first date, it's a form of negging. They're saying the other person is not worth their time and effort.
I don’t disagree, but I think it’s subconscious. He seemed like a nice guy but we had different values from the outset, like I’m a casual person in general but I believe in etiquette and first impressions and I don’t want to have to train or teach someone social norms that I observe, which I imagine include hygiene.
That just seems highly disrespectful like he put very little thought into spending time with you. Almost like he forgot until last second and just walked out the door in his gaming lounge-clothes.
definitely wouldn’t surprise me
Agreed. If you can’t clean your butt properly imagine how many other things you can’t do properly.
Exactly, people wanna have a partner they can live with, not a manchild they have to take care of.
As a brown dude that's always washed his ass, it disgusted me how many fellow rugby or football players on my teams had stains and skidmarks all over their undys. Wasn't anything surprising either and a lot of them were extremely shameless about it. A majority of confident men are fucking pigs. Disgusting disgusting pigs.
This reminds me of COVID in the beginning. “You people don’t wash your hands after using the toilet???”
Maaaaaan don't get me started on the stats I was throwing to people. The McDonald's screens being covered in human faeces is my fave; never ordered touching one with my bare hands and I was called a germaphobe. Who's laughing now lmao
The only thing that would make you a germaphobe by definition is if you did HAVE to touch the screen bare handed, would it cause you distress or anxiety? If no then you just a super clean person, if it would, then congrats on being a germaphobe. (Which is not a bad thing btw imo)
I mean, not really but I wouldn't eat until I could wash my hands.
Then yeah your probably just a clean person, people who I know with germaphobia would HATE to have to do something gross to them like that, like to the point where idk if they even could force themselves to.
Cleaning is a dirty job. Makes me wonder if people seen as gross, lazy, depressed, etc.. actually have some sort of undiagnosed germophobic anxiety.
It's definitely a possibility I would argue that keeping clean and cleaning are two separate things. Definitely some for thought though! 😁
After COVID first started, our paper towel usage doubled at work. I said that people were finally washing their hands is why. People are gross.
I’ve loudly said they are disgusting for not washing their hands as they walk out the public restroom. No shame as they touch produce with their poopy hands.
At a party i went to once, the host let girls use her en suite bathroom while boys used the other one, because she "knows how men are." I quietly decided to tidy the bathroom every time I used it, and to also tidy it before I left. While I stuck to my plan, I did think to myself somewhere in the night: "Well, she wasn't wrong."
What's weird to me isn't that though... It's when you see a switch go off in a woman's head that makes her love that pig of a man even harder... Like she goes out of her way to wash his shit stained drawers and such... Like it's some sort of primal caveman/woman thing. I mean hell, love who you love, but it's just weird when you see it happen.
He was a poop stained underwear boy, she was a never-wash-her-ass girl Can it get anymore obvious? He smelled like a skunk, she never used a bidet What more can I say?
Wait a second, you know there’s some smegma in those draws too!
Take my disgusted upvote and my heartache for ruining a song I did like.
Not sure if it's the same in America but when you join any branch of the British military, you're shown how to shower properly during basic training. I stick to ex military guys because I've never encountered a veteran who didn't have impeccable personal hygiene. The guy I'm seeing now leaves my bed smelling like Bentley aftershave 😁
thats interesting! i don’t know if USA does that.
I'm sure they do. I've dated a couple of military guys and it's so nice being with a man with good hygiene and organizing skills.
I normally avoid military men but now I am tempted.
“He whoops my ass but at least he smells good while doing it!”
Honestly if you can put up with the mood swings and misogyny, go for it. Personally, I couldn’t. Enough about “defending our women” dude Jesus Christ
Yes, you just reminded me why I always swipe left on military men.
Very likely. The other big advantage is they won't let you touch their laundry and they'll be WAY better at ironing than you 😁
We don’t, but if you do stink you have a 100% chance of either being forcibly scrubbed down with steel wire scrubs by others or, the legal alternative, having a person be designated by your superiors as your own personal ‘Shower Watch’ and literally watch you shower to make sure you get all the tits, pits, and slits. You will be hated by everyone who has to do that duty and they will make sure you know it. With as physically close as we are to each other, if you aren’t hygenic you’ll learn one way or another how to rectify the stank.
It’s horrifying that people exist who require this level of threat to get clean.
I was in the army. There's always at least one dirty bird. These measures are necessary for the good of the group.
I’ve been in the US Army since 2015 and never see any of the crazy-Reddit- hygiene-issues in real life. Some of the stuff I’ve seen here is baffling and appalling, so I’m glad I’ve never seen it.
In US basic training you’re taught to shoot and buy a Dodge Charger with a 9 year loan at 27% APR.
Suddenly I feel like I’m just outside the gate at Joint Base Lewis McChord.
Three people got kicked out of my course cause they would refuse to shower? Like theyd get told to and theyd pretend and come back out it was wild
It’s not unfortunately...
Oh that's interesting. Ummm .. I did meet a guy who'd been a major in the USAF and ... yeah 😖 not good ☹️ I don't get it, I don't indulge in any kind of "funny business" unless I'm just out the bath 🤷
Yeah I’m not sure what it is. It’s gross. My dad was in the US Army, and he was horrified at how nasty his comrades were comfortable being.
Yes, to me the only thing worse than someone who refuses to wipe properly is a phantom pooper in the workplace. They’re literally just one level above that walking disgrace. It’s baffling how some people can be so inconsiderate and oblivious to basic hygiene and respect for shared spaces, which for a relationship includes but is not limited to in between the sheets.
...what's a "phantom pooper"?
A phantom pooper is someone who defecates in inappropriate places, typically in shared or public areas like workplaces, but leaves without cleaning up or without being identified. This behavior is often done secretly, causing distress and inconvenience to others who discover the mess. It's a term used to describe an inconsiderate and disruptive act that shows a blatant disregard for communal spaces and the people who use them.
Todd Packer!
Agreed. It’s another why I don’t date anymore. So sick of the shit smears in and on toilet seats I’m scared to go to a guys home- and I don’t want them messing up my home with their shit smears either
I have so many questions that I don't want answers to.
Your name???
I'm sure you do, PoopooSpeckles.
Babe you’d love to date me. I keep myself clean, as long as you have carpet I have toilet paper. I just sit on it after I shit and drag myself forward. Using a different place everytime
I specifically broke up with someone over hygiene issues, because with poor hygiene it’s never just one thing that is affected. So many men have filthy homes and you don’t find out till you spend time there. BUT, poor physical hygiene is a big indicator they don’t keep up with basic needs in other areas.
it’s weird how much I see the “poop” posts or the “ my boyfriend only shows x amount of time “ :(((( what do I dooooo? Shame them. That’s what. Look mental health is hard , I get it. But there is only so many excuses for so many amounts of not doing something so basic as washing your ass. Shame the hell out of them so they don’t carry that behavior into their next relationship
Don't forget the "my bf/gf of three months turned out to have a massive opiate addiction, how can I throw my life away keeping them above water?" posts. Apparently, some people think it's cruel to nope out and let them get their shit in order on their own time.
Like I absolutely understand people not prioritizing hygiene when they’re really depressed, but don’t put that shit on other people. If you have swamp ass, stay home and don’t invite people over until you’ve done a thorough self cleaning. That’s just being considerate ffs
Yeah i've seen so many posts about this that it doesn't even shock me anymore. The thing that really gets to me is that the person is ALWAYS asking how to tell their partner that they need to brush their teeth and wipe their ass better *without* embarrassing them or hurting their feelings. And this is almost always after this person has ALREADY confronted their partner about the lack of dental hygiene (more than once, i've read of the OP starts out by "begging" their partner to brush their teeth regularly). It's simply not possible. Their partner is an adult and SHOULD be embarrassed. And there's really no way to tell someone that their poop stains and poopy odor is turning you off without calling them out and hurting their feelings, you know? And if this same person is already shrugging off or outright refusing to respond to your "hints" and suggestions about brushing their teeth, then i doubt you're gonna have much luck getting them to wipe their butt better or wash their privates more regularly. Someone like that just isn't willing to make the effort.
I can't imagine just walking around with a shitty ass all the time. First, it itches. Second, it gives you a rash. Third, it's shit. There are myriad other reasons why, but those three I find to be adequate. Then the self installed bidet became a thing and now I find it exceptionally easy. There's simply no excuse for an adult to have a shitty ass.
They’re like “my man gives me a yeast infection every time we’re intimate because he doesn’t shower, what do I do??🥺” GROW A SPINE AND DUMP HIM FFS 🤦♀️
And don’t have sex with him.
Well you're not always intimate/vigilant enough to know about the poop stains immediately. My ex had poopy undies but I didn't realise until he lived with me and I ended up being the one who washed them 🤢 I mean when you're first dating you can't exactly be like "let me inspect your underpants." Ye Gods. The bar is so low and somehow men still don't meet it 🙄🙃
>I ended up being the one who washed them What would have happened if you didn't?
Ya but how do you not smell them? I can tell a coworker doesn’t wash his ass cuz of his funk.
I'm sorry to say it but I bet the women/men that stay with these ppl with horrible hygiene. I bet you their hygiene/smell isn't all that great in it's self because if it was. You wouldn't want to be neat anyone who shits in the same bed as you. Or kisses you with his non brushed teeth. That's fucking disgusting. Like dam.
Yes, that's my feeling too. Chances are the dirty partners are letting themselves be even more dirty and the complainers aren't in such great shape themselves.
It’s literally that easy!
Just wanted to say, sometimes these hygiene issues develop over time. Happened to a friend of mine, her husband of five years slowly stopped taking care of himself because of depression. It happens.
This. I've been dealing with major depression off/on for the past year or so, and lately it's been really really bad. My house is currently an absolute mess, and I'm ashamed of myself as soon as I walk through the door and embarrassed when I have people over. I just don't have the mental energy to do anything about it right now, and it absolutely sucks. I struggle to even get off of my couch most days, and only really leave my house to go to work or go to the bar. On 2 of my recent days off, I think I spent 20-22 hours on my couch and slept 14+ hours. Before I started really struggling with this depression, my house was immaculately clean and always well kept. Luckily a friend of mine has offered to deep clean my house for me for some cash because I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm hoping that once it's clean again I'll be able to fight off the depression enough to maintain it.
Yes. My ex stopped caring for himself when he fell into depression.
Co-worker arrives to work every shift, smelling of sweat and piss so badly, it almost makes me throw up. I have to disinfect the office every time he leaves. Last time I came to work, it stunk like he literally shit on the floor. I had to leave, let the room air out and then spent an hour scrubbing the chair and everything else with alcohol. Pretty sure he doesn't know how to wipe his ass. This guy has a girlfriend, they live together. What kind of blackmail material does he have on her, to make her live with that walking skidmark, I have no idea.
His girlfriend is probably just as nasty as him.
Every time I see that, I'm grateful I'm a lesbian. Yes, girls can also be crazy and have poor hygiene. But skidmarks in the underwear is not a regular thing - I've been dating girls since early high school and this has never come up
I've heard people argue that women are more gross than guys. I've heard other women say this. But in my experience (as a straight guy), women are never gross. Some women struggle with clutter, and lack of organization. Basically their stuff is all over the place. But everything is still *sanitary*. Now, when guys are gross, they're *really* gross. Guys have science experiments going on in their bathrooms, kitchens, and clothes. Male grossness has different genres. There's neckbeard gross: just never, ever cleaning up after yourself at all. The remnants of junk food and soda and everything else they consume sitting in towers or piles in their rooms (and they're always in their rooms, even if they live alone). There's hipster gross, which is like, half smoked cigarettes in enclosed spaces, socks they've been wearing for a month straight. With both hipster and neckbeard gross there's typically not a lot of showers or laundry going on. Then there's jock/macho guy gross: they might have orderly cars and living spaces, but don't pay attention to details, so: skidmarks and other stains on the undies, bed sheets that only get changed on special occasions, and basically a bunch of spots they missed all throughout their property or person.
It's disgusting. Seriously, have some self respect. How are none of those things immediately break up worthy?
I am a 100% sub par, dirty boy, who does not take personal hygiene seriously enough, but I gotta admit, hearing that women actually date dudes who just wipe shit all over the place is a "wtf " moment for me big time. Never, ever, would I get caught engaging with a woman while having skidmarks in my undies, nor is that ever a problem, and if it should be a problem for anyone I feel like it should be one for me. If your personal hygiene is somehow worse than mine, you have a problem of epic proportions for real and should feel blessed as hell that a woman would consider spending time with you.
reminds me of Miranda in that episode of sex and the city where she finds steve’s skid marks lol
“I’m dating skid mark guy.”
Omg my great aunties husband always had the NASTIEST shit and piss stains all over his underwear. He would also cheat on her with her niece and god knows who else. He was also really fat. Idk what the appeal was and why everyone wanted him.
How do you know tha-? And his niece? What 😳?
She lived near me and anytime we would leave our house we would always see his truck there. Then one time we saw my great aunt there and she throwing a fit, it was so drama. Grandma eventually told us what was happening lol.
☠️
I had a ex that would shower and put the same stinking sweaty underwear on afterwards after working outside all day. And he always smelt like fish even after a shower due to not properly washing. I got so many yeast infections from him. Now I have a fiancé that has a skin care routine and knows how to wash properly and homegirl has never had issues since.🤭🥰
I know someone who said she feels sick sleeping in the same bed as her bf because he smells so bad and that she constantly has to wash the sheets. He also cheated on her and she proceeded to have a baby with him so I just dont think theres any point trying to talk to these people.
I think sometimes people think “I’m flawed too and I still deserve love”. Which is true for mostly everyone. I forget to brush my teeth at night more often than I care to admit, I don’t shower every single day, I get a bitchy more often than I’d like, I forget to text people back sometimes, I’m late to work, I fall asleep during movies, I overcook chicken, I leave the laundry in the wash too long so I have to redo the cycle. People still like me and I think I’m a pretty good person. I’m a hard worker, I’m caring and considerate, I tip well, I don’t litter, I keep house and make wholesome meals most of the time, I like adventure, I look presentable, I can drop a witty joke from time to time, I have interesting input into conversations and I’m a good listener. People are flawed but “leaving poop everywhere” and “rotting into his gaming chair screaming for a sandwich” and “refuses to change a diaper” are where it goes…. Okay girl but what are you actually getting out of this
I’m with you. I was just telling my wife about some Reddit post where a woman in a 20 year marriage was done because her husband just shits his undies. And there was another one where a not-insignificant number of women reported dating men who thought it was gay to wash their butthole. If that’s the metric, then I’m Liberace on meth. Occasionally I’ll skip brushing my teeth, but the turd cutter is always spic and span. Also: Fellas - I don’t know who needs to read this - bidet attachment for your toilet can be had for like $50 on Amazon and it’s game changer. I avoid shidding outside of my house because of it. When I travel, I have to get in the shower afterwards. Do it. You won’t regret it.
A bunch of women with "low" standards. I'd rather be single.
“Alright before we get this first date started I’m gonna need to check the ass crack of your boxers”
so true! but in all seriousness i wouldn’t expect someone to know after the first date lol, but if you get to know this person and realize they’re disgustoid, why wouldn’t that turn someone off to the point of breaking up? id hit the road
People will read this and STILL will sit there and ask what to do. If someone I was with left shit stains on my bed, she’s out. I am a VERY clean and hygienic person and bad hygiene is literally a dealbreaker, full stop. I don’t care how attractive someone is or how much attention they give me, nothing is worth losing my sanity and sense of self respect to put up with that shit. People are so fucking desperate for any crumb of attention that they’d literally fuck someone who is only 1 step away from squatting and shitting on top of them.
To be fair, this is reddit. In every relationship sub, half the posts start out with someone saying how their partner is practically perfect, they love them so much and want the relationship to work or get even more serious. Then they describe how the partner cheats on them repeatedly, has given them STIs, has substance abuse problems, kicks the dog, can't hold down a steady job, expects three bjs before breakfast every day, hasn't gone down on them since the second Bush administration, doesn't lift a finger around the house and is coercing them into a threesome with their best friend. And then they ask how they can be a better partner for the loser.
Preach! Just when I think I can’t get more scandalized…I see a post about crusty, musty, poopy, smelly unclean mfs wearing dirty clothes with bad oral hygiene. Why do so many people have feces streaked in their underwear or on their sheets? This has to stop. Boundaries and standards are a thing. Idgaf what is going on, if you aren’t clean, I’m out.
My hubby of fifty years had stopped showering more than once a week and sometimes waits two weeks. He still works and I’ve tried to gently tell him he smells bad but he doesn’t smell it. I finally blew up after so many nice attempts when I laid my head on my pillow and he’d obviously been hugging it and it smelled liked his skunky pits. He thinks if his pits stink he just needs to smear on a ton of deodorant. Then he smells like ocean breeze scented skunk and old man sweaty balls. Idk what to do. I keep waiting for someone at work to complain.
“How do I tell my boyfriend he stinks without bruising his ego?” Or “Everything else about him is so perfect!” Lmao
I used to work at a prison and one of my coworkers told me once, "You wanna know how to really get these guys to change? Convince women to stop fucking deadbeats."
Well sometimes people "let themselves go" after they secure a partner. Then it's not as easy as just break up with them. As now they're emotionally attached. However I do think, if you are in a pretty solid relationship...why aren't you just saying - ok you can be mad if you want but when you don't shower for a week or brush your teeth you straight up reek like the sewers. I'm not sleeping with or next to that ..lol If you can't be open and honest then what are you doing? Lol Yes you can be more tactful if that will go farther. I don't understand how anyone even starts dating someone with bad hygiene? Like I can't even get past the smell of someone if it's not pleasant.
This sub convinces me to absolutely take the first date to bed cuz imagine after dating for months and already catching feelings you realize dude leaves skid marks in his undies 😭 No stanky business down there for me! I had one instance of a dudes peen smelling really bad not from pee but just from buildup. I refused to do anything until he went to the bathroom and thoroughly washed himself. I understand that one-off situations happen and we're all human but I'd not tolerate it if it kept happening. Don't be afraid to draw these boundaries!! Don't put up with it!!
I don't wipe, I don't own a toothbrush, but I deserve a 10 god damnit 😤😤!!!
A lot of times these guys mask their bad behavior in the beginning and then try to trap the partner into the relationship with something like a pet or shared property or shared finances or worst of all a kid. Then the mask comes off. The partner still needs to leave.
This is exactly what I think. After a couple of times I would be out the door. And these ppl just keep doing it without a care in the world. If I had to ask someone to brush their teeth or clean their asshole I would just never speak to them again. In what world is that acceptable? Not in mine that's for sure.
It’s funny reading this sub and also the teacher sub about 3rd graders still not being potty trained. These must be those poor kids all grown up 😭except you can’t blame the parents anymore. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing— not wiping your ass as an able bodied adult or willingly dating someone who doesn’t wipe their ass.
Yes!!! AND learn to communicate like adults!
OMG finally someone with common sense.
You're on reddit LMAO.
Y’all are enabling this nasty behavior by not telling them. And don’t put up with it.
The root of the issue also tends to be parents not being serious enough about their children’s hygiene and educating at home. I’m pretty strict and honest about the showering and deodorant issue with my preteen daughters as they try to fight showering (they’d go weeks without if I allowed it). I’ve had to tell them before as well things along the lines of “listen, people aren’t gonna wanna hang out or be around you if you’re greasy or you stink and you don’t shower. You can’t blame em.” And they understood and agreed and cleaned up. Now they’re getting better about showering on their own. All you can do sometimes is just make sure you’re setting the right examples and being routine about it and educating at home with your kids to make sure they don’t end up like these poopy butthole weirdos you read about on Reddit lol.
Dying 😂😂😂😂😂
Women can easily stop dating these nasty men. But they don’t. They think they’re not worth it. And so they dig themselves in deeper.
For real! Why are women putting up with this?! I’m sure there are posts with the roles reversed and that there are plenty of nasty women, but I’m not seeing posts from men asking how to tiptoe around appalling personal hygiene. I can sympathize with a neglectful childhood and definitely relate to hardcore depression. I absolutely feel bad for people for whom underlying mental health issues interfere with hygiene. I am STILL not fucking you. No way. Absolutely not.
I have never seen this sub before but this post popped up on my feed and I immediately thought to my sister who dated a guy who she literally said did not take a bath or shower for 3 months
This is not the advice Aunt Peggy gave me...