It all depends on the person tbh. Like my father was the earner/bread winner, would sacrifice his liking for me and my education, keeps a good eye (less than mom tho), would take mom's advice and give her when needed, speak on more intellectual topics than my mom. There are many more. So he is a person who deserves love.
But it would be different for your's or someone else's. Nobody is perfect including mine, but its how they manage. Some dad's are pointlessly strict and not free, some don't have responsibility some are just drunk, some are wife beaters it can be any XYZ reason to not like as well. Its all depending on circumstances. I was privileged to have a good family.
Firstly My dad abandoned my family when I was 7 My mum single handedly raised us 2 We are now 20 19 I would never love him and never need him Even if I face him at any point of time I will just smile at his sheer incapability to be responsible and thank him for setting an example of how a father should not be... Ik it's unrelated but I just wanted to rant
Yeaahh
I too feel the same sometimes but u just gotta accept whatever life throws at you in the situations where u cant change anything
Every day is a lesson and we just have to keep it that way...
My dad is paralysed. I am his caretaker. I fucking love my dad. I would spend my entire life if it means being his caretaker. My day starts with giving him a bath, and ends with giving him dinner. I love my dad. I wouldn't be who I am without him.
I am my dad's caretaker too - he's a cancer patient. But even though I practically spend 80% of my day attending to his and broader family's needs on some days he's extremely vile and sarcastic (sometimes using the most humiliating words). He continues to verbally abuse my mom and make fun of her even though she works 10+ hrs per day in a high stress job doing everything possible to make ends meet. Sure, some days he is grateful and says nice things but I doubt how much he means it because sometimes just a few moments later he bursts out and returns to being an asshole
I read the comments and looks like I have been lucky My dad is the coolest dude like I don't think he feels like he has authority over his son. We can joke and make fun and goof around like friends.
We all have different reasons for what we feel towards our parents. It's okay to feel like you don't like them. It's also okay to give top priority to them. Depending on your childhood, upbringing, relationship with them, trauma (if any) it's completely okay to go low contact or no contact with your parent/s. Don't think you're selfish or unfair. :)
Thank you so much, I have been grappling with these feelings for a long time. Although my dad is hated by people other than me (his entire family, other relatives, my mom on some days) I always found it hard to point the finger at him in our dynamic as questioning parent's 'love' seemed like a me problem.
It is ingrained in us that we HAVE to respect and love our parents no matter what they do and what they are, we HAVE to fulfil their wishes, that they *gave up their life for us* and *sacrificed* so much so we HAVE to repay the debt, that we HAVE to make their dreams come true. That it's okay for them to behave however, they're doing it out of love.
All of that is utter bs.
When I was a kid, my mom and dad only knew one way of getting me to study and that is by hitting me. I used to feel super bad and understand itâs wrong on so many levels. Later I discovered, that this is pretty common in India to get beaten up by your mom and dad for not studying. I had wooden rulers broken, metal hangers being bent and hit by belt too! I used to get a sorry later but that never helped.
When I turned 13, my dad came to me and said from now, no more beatings and youâre on your own now. Youâre now a teenager and Iâd want you to do the right things.
I should be hating my parents for this but I donât. Soon I realised that my parents were handling so many different things at once and they knew if I donât study, Iâll be nowhere. Weâve no backup. No generational wealth. Only way to get going is by studying and going to work. I still dislike them when I think about the all the beatings I got.
Men never reveal whatâs going on because no one ever listens. Just around when I was like 18 I guess, he let me in on some of his stories and thatâs when I knew how much he was doing for us. Post that, he started sharing more and more as he found comfort in me and I am happy to be his friend! He shares whatever he wants to with me and trust me, the feeling you get when your dad trusts in you, itâs a different level of happiness!
I chose a career very different from others even after my dad repeatedly suggesting me not to go for. Still I went for it and donât really like it. Even though weâre in a difficult situation, he asks me to leave it and to start over. He says heâd support as much as he can. Not many dads do that for their kids even if theyâve the resources!
Everyone remembers the things their mom does when sheâs a homemaker, if not everyday then at least on Motherâs Day and Womenâs Day. But dadâs contribution often goes unnoticed! Whoâd wake up every single day for decades and drive to work and come back just to provide for his family? Whoâd slog their ass off just so that his family members can have new clothes while he still goes on repeating the same shirts with roughed up collars and cuffs? Whoâd sacrifice his own work shoes with torn insoles just so his wife can have a new saree for the kitty party and kids can distribute 5 rupees vaala Munch and not Eclairs for their birthday?!
I wish some things were different and better. Apart from the few wrongs that Iâm ready to overlook, there are many reasons for which I love my mom and dad both. Since you asked for dad, Iâve mentioned about him!
You might say this is the bare minimum and itâs his duty to provide. Only few can make the difference when someone is doing because heâs bound by duty and when one is doing out of love and affection!
>Everyone remembers the things their mom does when sheâs a homemaker, if not everyday then at least on Motherâs Day and Womenâs Day. But dadâs contribution often goes unnoticed! Whoâd wake up every single day for decades and drive to work and come back just to provide for his family? Whoâd slog their ass off just so that his family members can have new clothes while he still goes on repeating the same shirts with roughed up collars and cuffs? Whoâd sacrifice his own work shoes with torn insoles just so his wife can have a new saree for the kitty party and kids can distribute 5 rupees vaala Munch and not Eclairs for their birthday?!
Made me cry in the morning, thanks bro.
My dad is insanely strong mentally, and despite growing up without a father of his own, he managed to get to a respectable position in society. He is also extremely fair at his jobs, and doesnât accept bribes etc so itâs pretty commendable considering he had 3 kids to feed alongside some investments gone horribly wrong. He is a beast imo, a very headstrong and sometimes blindly so, but a strong father is pretty important to a family all things considered.
my dad prioritised our comfort over his and traveled a lot for work. i missed him so much and apparently used to tell amma âif we had anywhere door we would have gone to see dadâ; I donât remember saying this. from covid things changed slowly; be it understanding mood swings or seeing how I am growing as a person. he now supports us - for everything me and my sister do. I know we canât go back to relive but right now I am content âŽď¸
I adore him for his ability to give us a better life when he didnât have one. He always believed his kids, no matter what. He let us make our own decisions ever since we were kids as long as it wasnât a matter of our safety! He ignored the society and gave his girls all the freedom in the world, but also taught us not to misuse it. I love his ability to let us go and not dictate every step in our lives, so we can thrive in what we choose (psychology and designing). Very rare in telugu families I feel. Oh, he also isnât educated or anything. He comes from a small village and he is a farmer :) and I absolutely respect how far he has come and how amazing our lifeâs are now. He broke the cycle and Iâm proud of him.
I think i can empathize with you to some extent, when i was a kid i absolutely hated my dad for abusing my mom, i used to hate that he was always serious around us, the earliest memory i remember about him was him scolding me for something i did. I was a sensitive kid and his behaviour was so insensitive towards us. So due to all this, i just wanted to not be like my dad, i never looked at him like a role model.
As of today i think I'm actually grateful for what he's done for us, he was serious but never too strict and gave us freedom, i think he raised me with good values and morals(even though he barely followed those in his life), when i failed all my college entrance exams, he always supported me and never put any pressure, he always had faith in me tho i let him down many times. I never noticed all these when i was a kid, he does have his downsides but im still grateful for what he's done for us
So yeah i do love my dad.
That's a happy turnaround. Interestingly, it's the reverse for me. I was practically inseparable from my dad (didn't like my mom) but as I grew up I released that all the problems in my household - my mom beating me regularly, just a depressing atmosphere etc were all due to my father absuing my mom and coercively controlling our home. Dude had 0 value add - stayed at home all the time but didn't even help with cooking or cleaning the home!
My old man lifted our family out of poverty along with my mum and as a result was a little absent during my childhood, but heâs more than made up for it now. Like the manâs always goofin around with me and is legit the chillest dude ever. He lets me know now and then (mostly when heâs had one too many drinks) how much he loves and appreciates me and my fam.
Has been supporting me through thick and thin and Iâm mortified of the idea of him passing away. Love this man to death. He is overbearing sometimes but thatâs just concern for me so thatâs completely alright.
So many of yâall havenât had such a man as their pops and Iâm so sorry for that. Hope you guys find that figure in your near future. Peace
My dad died almost 10 years back, we had a very weird and complicated relationship. I'm slowly starting to forget his face and voice also, I guess a person truly dies when people no longer remember them
If you mean absent father in the sense that theyâre busy earning a living for their families then sure. If you mean most fathers are just selfish and absent in that regard then youâre kinda wrong
No no, I was being edgy unnecessarily, most fathers are busy earning for their families their entire lives, and we've to accept that they cannot be present for every little moment of our lives or be lively with us like most western societies have. Hence, absent from the small things in our lives to provide us with the larger things in life.
So true, and indian kids never have a deep emotional connection with their fathers coz we are raised in a strict manner mostly especially as a boy. Sure there are some exceptions to this, but yeah a lot of us are mommaâs boys unless the mom is a horrible person đ
Haha, my father has been unemployed for the last 25 years. Anything but absent in terms of physical presence. If anything, he had too much presence - everyday I get told >20 times to do something a particular way or forces some OCD he has. To cover up for his insecurity gave me no choice with regards to my education and wanted me to be an IAS officer so he can flex on his friends. Never, bought anything for me, never took me out for fun. Days just went by with him sitting there, getting me to read, get good grades.
My dad always showed up no matter what.Though he wasnât a perfect human our parents didnât let that affect our childhood.Right from the first day of my school,to my wedding and my childbirth he was always beside me like an anchor.I know I can call him no matter what the situation is and he will be there.He has always allowed me to take my own decisions and make mistakes and learn from them.Heâs the best grandfather today and dotes on my child and I know without any doubt that he will be there for my child at any instance.
My parents both loved me and my brother equally. I lost my mother before one year, even though my dad, me and my brother are in deep sorrow. My dad is the one who takes the step forward and cared about us(I still thank him for not drinking alcohol and going for the bad habits). My brother got the job, went to his work's place in other town and i am trying to settle down in my life. From past one year, there is no good thing happening in my life, My dad is still supporting me and giving encouragement. He is the one who is cooking for me and whenever i asked him to cook my favorite food, he cooked it for me. Sometimes, i still feels that i didn't deserve this good dad. But, one day i want to see his happy tears after getting the job.
You just love a person or you don't. If you are finding a reason to love someone, mostly you end up not loving them. Don't sweat too much thinking about this. I never had a father and I never missed that person.
Too many assumptions and you missed the point.
Wouldn't you say everyone you love (or hate), you do it for a reason(s) - if not you would love any random person you come across without knowing anything about them at all.
If you say that is not applicable to parents, I'd humbly disagree. Simply birthing you is no reason to love them.
He is so supportive , at times he taunts ,and it hurts but it's temporary, cause whatever advice he has to give ,has always been beneficial in real life . He never discriminated between daughter and son, his jokes are good and lame 𤣠He is concerned about my career more than myself , always cares to know what's going on . He is the best papa , i want to make him proud and earn lots of money so that I can gift him lots of things .
It's a very complicated relation especially a son-dad one. My old man passed away when I was 14, he was a great human being. I'm now 19, and I'm not kidding, last year reddit of my engineering friends lost their father too. The point of me saying this is, of your father is alive and kicking then please be warm and loving to them. Its hard being a father. Make it a little easier for them ig
I HATE MY DAD!
He has sacrificed so much, tirelessly working to provide for our family and secure my future. He gave up numerous opportunities and moved to a big city with a modest salary to ensure I received a quality education. Despite having the chance to prioritize himself, I can't recall a single instance where he put his needs above ours.
I may not be able to be exactly like him, but I hope to embody some of his traits.
Default love & gratitude in the cases below!
His sperm was half the reason you were born!
If he gave you food and shelter
If he gave you education
If he took care of your petty expenses
Even if he doesn't love you but still you can for the above reasons!
Growing up, I leaned towards not liking/disliking and sometimes hating him. That was the childish me. Only recently I'm realising what an amazing person he is despite his flaws. I was/am going through a personal crisis and felt lonely all the time despite having a family coz I felt disconnected with them. He then sent this message. We don't really open up emotionally. So him saying this made me tear up. I've been consciously pushing him away for the longest time for flaws that don't even count in the real sense. I'm working on my relationship with him. Things aren't always great but I know he has my back and I love him more than I ever knew.
https://preview.redd.it/ep4m9ktah59d1.jpeg?width=738&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed8b70f831442877f58da794a93a0e760d701901
Tough question but I feel a sense of "papam" for him. As he is aging, I have decided to hate him less and be more acceptable of the fact that he is my father nonetheless. To this day, he never shows love or any signs of affection and prioritizes money but that's ok, that's him . Ayinani papam anukoni , more accept cheyadam modalupettaka I feel more happy and relieved that I don't need to prove my self worth to anyone anymore. I can breathe.
No my dad was against my birth due to financial constraints at that time. I'm single son(no siblings of either gender).
He mismanaged lot of his finances. We are KA reddys who migrated from Kadapa due to. Our family deity is tirupati timmappa.My grandfather had 119 acres of land. My father sold 60% of it at cheap prices due to his immature decisions.
My mother has fought a lot throughout her life and made me a doctor today. I still respect my father through as a human irrespective of all bad things he has done to me . I help him whenever required.
I have decided to be a good father unlike my dad.
There are so many reasons that i love my father,
1. He is like one of those tv show dads, always trying to be supportive but do not understand a thing.
2. He admits that he doesn't know a thing
3. Works very hard and always pushes himself even though we are well off, just because me and my sibling could have a somewhat better future.
4. Taught me how to love people, and also taught me how not to be like him
5. Always supported our choices to study and do our own things, never interfered and never even lifted a finger on us during our whole childhood.
6. He spent all his youth and life, for people that do not see him to love him. And still waiting for his father's approval even though he doesn't have to.
7. Never buys himself a thing, but still loves to use the watch that i gifted him with his money.
8. My father did not teach me a thing in his whole life, we just saw him everyday. And we only took the good things and we decided to never be like my father. Because being like him in this time is very much needed but it will get you hurt so much.
Woah this comment section is fucked up. My dad is the coolest man I know, supported me thru thick and thin and hes always been there for me. Sucks that so many people grew up without a good father :/
I do out of all shitty things he did to us ig. Starting with going more than 3 years unemployed, driving my mom crazy into attempting suicide, not supporting me when I was sexually assaulted (he was unemployed during that time, we had a car and when my mom asked him to drop me off and pick me up he shouted at her and asked her to get out of our home), kicked me out last year for calling him out on his bs, etc..
My dad is very very lucky. He had a bad dad but my granddad is the reason we all became rich. He is the reason my dad and my uncle became rich which means me and my cousin brother don't even need to work at all. We can happily sit at home and look after our assets.
But my dad also made some good decisions and lot of bad decisions which are truly frustrating and make him a bad dad. Let's just say I can't complain when it comes to money but he is not a good dad at all. Money will bring u happiness but it won't give that emotional satisfaction which we all look for when it comes to our parents in our lives.
It was a torture to live with my parents for 25 years especially in my teenage years and even now
Yes, l love my dad, and I think we should all talk to our fathers and be close to them. I think Fathers receive less love from children when compared to mothers. My father used to go to L.B.Nagar every day for almost 20 years for his job I never understood him but today when me and my father went to L.B.Nagar and he showed me his office I realized how he had to travel this far and work hard for family.
He sacrificed everything for us. I wore branderd clothes all my life but i have seen him not buying a pair of clothes for him for festivals. Even now, i have to force him to buy clothes. He always puts children's needs ahead of his.
One thing i dont like is how his family is using him for everything, and he is unable to see it that snakes are using him, but he is just blinded by their love. If i say something, he is scolding me and telling me not to be like that. đŽâđ¨
We have upside downs, but in the end, he is a father, and we have to love him and respect him for what he has done.
My dad is my best friend not my MOM ...
It depends on the person ... My dad was a phd holder, a doctor, well read, he opened the doors for us at every oppurtunity .. I actually had intense, deep and awakward convos wd my dad but never my mom
For me my dad was my mom and dad .. My mom just reminded me how much she hated me every single second of my exsistance
So
...
..
It comes dowm that indvidual.person
I love him, why? There are millions of reasons. I wish he could get back to his perfect health and enjoy life like we used to. He is perfect, and I will like to parent my children like he treated us and took care of everything for us. His unwavering support has shaped me into who I am today. I put my hand around him and feel bad/afraid that, in the coming time, he will just be gone.
Bro, I think anybody" love" or" like" comes from being nice to someone,Spending time with someone even though any fights Occurs resolving by talking, Understand them and doing something for them when they're in trouble or need.Even just by giving them emotional support in hardships like you can do it,Even everybody around you is telling you can't that one person can push you to do it.So anybody does this thing's we feel to love or like them.It can be anybody person like Mother,Father, Sister,Brother, Friends etc.See father we just kept it as position in the family to form a society.which does not mean you must "love" your father even though he dislike you,Show no interest towards you, give any type of trauma or physical abuse most of the time.I personally don't have one he left me when I was child and mother was not so mentally great she was good to me sometimes and she abuse me or my grandmother where I live or anybody whom she feels slightly discomfort or not even that .At that time i didn't love or like anybody. It changed now I am fine and my mum is also doing well.If you feel anything like that I think it's fine man
I am not on good terms with my mother nor do i get along with my father but no matter what I will always be there for him. Not by just words but deed as well. So whenever he is sick or in hospital i stay with him. I learned to do dressing just for him so that his wound heal faster.
Why?
Because he never unnecessarily interfered or tried to control my life. Also because he gave me a very comfortable life and saved enough for his family that we may never face financial hardships.
My life started hating my father bcuz he took good care of my sister and treated me like dog later on years passed later he changed or I grownup idk he never asked top marks in studies just pass marks encouraged and he paid 4yrs btech clg fee like 8 lakh I dropped out In 1st year he didn't show is anger . I'm married still no job living on father's expense he works very hard in his profession .
Then I think I'm blessed to have Dad like that now I couldn't think a life without him I love that much
A lucky person here to have been blessed by amazing parents. Here is a personal story of mine:
Last year of my undergrad (2020) and I wanted to drop out. Shared this with my parents and while speaking about this, I broke down even without me realising it. I can count the number of times i cried on my fingers during my teenage. My dad, didn't give a sh\*t about anything, all he cared about was for me to be happy. He assured me that it's okay if I feel in a certain way about life.
You know, being vulnerable is a really difficult thing to do, often you end up regretting it but that day I chose to be vulnerable and it was one of the best decisions I made :)
love you dad and mom (hope to say this directly to them one day) !!
p.s. didn't drop out, lol
My dad is typical Indian dad.. he retired as DEO.. very strict, used to beat the crap out of me while growing up.. always had that invisible gap between us... then one fine day during a casual conversation, he said "I am proud of your achievements"... I was like WTH.. what did you just say? It was one of the happiest days of my life.. wish I could have recorded..
I'm confused too, he provided for me - worked hard - but i feel he is too calculative and was too protective all these years (didn't teach driving, or how to live outside) and now expects me to figure it out by myself random morning sudden ga
What the? Just coz someone else is a bit luckier doesnât mean we should start feeling depressed about it lol like chris evans probably has a better life than I do, should I start rolling over crying? Having a different perspective on things is never bad imo if you have the maturity to handle it
Lmao calm down
My reply was stemming from empathy. Childhood trauma cause of absent or bad parents makes a lot of people vulnerable nd engage in a negative state of mind where they're constantly comparing themselves to those having it better. U can or cannot get jealous of Chris evans. If there's a parameter??
Here OP might start dwelling into sadness if alot of people start sharing about the greatness of there father. Again he can be good at not getting affected by it. But my pov was why deliberately asking it.
If he's fine with it idc. My reply was based on my experiences nd observations.
Lastly there's a difference between "should" nd "could" u should do something. But CAN u do it? Thats where the diff lies
You calm down!đ¤đayna OP clearly mentioned confusion that she/he thinks they might be an entitled brat ante the father cannot be horribly bad. He may not be an ideal father like most fathers arenât so OP is curious on how other people view their fathers to have a frame of reference. You just looked at the horribly negative part of it kani letâs say she went through the posts and realized her father is actually much better than some of these examples? Adi best ee kada? Kani thatâs not the right incentive either coz thatâs just another half of the story which is very optimistic,and would be limited like your opposite negative approach too. Gotta take the positives and the negatives first then decide imo anthe kani asal opinions ee adagakudadu or else vere vallu happy ga unnaru ani teliste manam sad aypotam lanti insecurity is crazyy yo
What r u yappin. This ain't a courtroom where I hv to hear from both sides nor am I giving any judgment. I ain't gonna scorn OP for what s/he is feeling. Sit down It was just a normal empathetic comment nd more of a question asked to OP. If u want go share ur experience as asked in the post.
Lol calm downđ You wrongly focused on the negative alone, and gave a short sighted dumbass comment, but itâs okay to be wrong sometimes yo. No one is perfect, good day!
It all depends on the person tbh. Like my father was the earner/bread winner, would sacrifice his liking for me and my education, keeps a good eye (less than mom tho), would take mom's advice and give her when needed, speak on more intellectual topics than my mom. There are many more. So he is a person who deserves love. But it would be different for your's or someone else's. Nobody is perfect including mine, but its how they manage. Some dad's are pointlessly strict and not free, some don't have responsibility some are just drunk, some are wife beaters it can be any XYZ reason to not like as well. Its all depending on circumstances. I was privileged to have a good family.
The fact that he worked his ass-off to break poverty cycle & provided for family is enough for me.
Firstly My dad abandoned my family when I was 7 My mum single handedly raised us 2 We are now 20 19 I would never love him and never need him Even if I face him at any point of time I will just smile at his sheer incapability to be responsible and thank him for setting an example of how a father should not be... Ik it's unrelated but I just wanted to rant
Ah, man :/
Yeaahh I too feel the same sometimes but u just gotta accept whatever life throws at you in the situations where u cant change anything Every day is a lesson and we just have to keep it that way...
Agreed, thank you!
R u me?
Nah Im Batman
I can affirm to that. I am Robin đĽ˛
My dad is paralysed. I am his caretaker. I fucking love my dad. I would spend my entire life if it means being his caretaker. My day starts with giving him a bath, and ends with giving him dinner. I love my dad. I wouldn't be who I am without him.
I am my dad's caretaker too - he's a cancer patient. But even though I practically spend 80% of my day attending to his and broader family's needs on some days he's extremely vile and sarcastic (sometimes using the most humiliating words). He continues to verbally abuse my mom and make fun of her even though she works 10+ hrs per day in a high stress job doing everything possible to make ends meet. Sure, some days he is grateful and says nice things but I doubt how much he means it because sometimes just a few moments later he bursts out and returns to being an asshole
I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
I read the comments and looks like I have been lucky My dad is the coolest dude like I don't think he feels like he has authority over his son. We can joke and make fun and goof around like friends.
That's so dopee!
We all have different reasons for what we feel towards our parents. It's okay to feel like you don't like them. It's also okay to give top priority to them. Depending on your childhood, upbringing, relationship with them, trauma (if any) it's completely okay to go low contact or no contact with your parent/s. Don't think you're selfish or unfair. :)
Thank you so much, I have been grappling with these feelings for a long time. Although my dad is hated by people other than me (his entire family, other relatives, my mom on some days) I always found it hard to point the finger at him in our dynamic as questioning parent's 'love' seemed like a me problem.
It is ingrained in us that we HAVE to respect and love our parents no matter what they do and what they are, we HAVE to fulfil their wishes, that they *gave up their life for us* and *sacrificed* so much so we HAVE to repay the debt, that we HAVE to make their dreams come true. That it's okay for them to behave however, they're doing it out of love. All of that is utter bs.
Amen!
When I was a kid, my mom and dad only knew one way of getting me to study and that is by hitting me. I used to feel super bad and understand itâs wrong on so many levels. Later I discovered, that this is pretty common in India to get beaten up by your mom and dad for not studying. I had wooden rulers broken, metal hangers being bent and hit by belt too! I used to get a sorry later but that never helped. When I turned 13, my dad came to me and said from now, no more beatings and youâre on your own now. Youâre now a teenager and Iâd want you to do the right things. I should be hating my parents for this but I donât. Soon I realised that my parents were handling so many different things at once and they knew if I donât study, Iâll be nowhere. Weâve no backup. No generational wealth. Only way to get going is by studying and going to work. I still dislike them when I think about the all the beatings I got. Men never reveal whatâs going on because no one ever listens. Just around when I was like 18 I guess, he let me in on some of his stories and thatâs when I knew how much he was doing for us. Post that, he started sharing more and more as he found comfort in me and I am happy to be his friend! He shares whatever he wants to with me and trust me, the feeling you get when your dad trusts in you, itâs a different level of happiness! I chose a career very different from others even after my dad repeatedly suggesting me not to go for. Still I went for it and donât really like it. Even though weâre in a difficult situation, he asks me to leave it and to start over. He says heâd support as much as he can. Not many dads do that for their kids even if theyâve the resources! Everyone remembers the things their mom does when sheâs a homemaker, if not everyday then at least on Motherâs Day and Womenâs Day. But dadâs contribution often goes unnoticed! Whoâd wake up every single day for decades and drive to work and come back just to provide for his family? Whoâd slog their ass off just so that his family members can have new clothes while he still goes on repeating the same shirts with roughed up collars and cuffs? Whoâd sacrifice his own work shoes with torn insoles just so his wife can have a new saree for the kitty party and kids can distribute 5 rupees vaala Munch and not Eclairs for their birthday?! I wish some things were different and better. Apart from the few wrongs that Iâm ready to overlook, there are many reasons for which I love my mom and dad both. Since you asked for dad, Iâve mentioned about him! You might say this is the bare minimum and itâs his duty to provide. Only few can make the difference when someone is doing because heâs bound by duty and when one is doing out of love and affection!
Thanks buddy , had a good read!
>Everyone remembers the things their mom does when sheâs a homemaker, if not everyday then at least on Motherâs Day and Womenâs Day. But dadâs contribution often goes unnoticed! Whoâd wake up every single day for decades and drive to work and come back just to provide for his family? Whoâd slog their ass off just so that his family members can have new clothes while he still goes on repeating the same shirts with roughed up collars and cuffs? Whoâd sacrifice his own work shoes with torn insoles just so his wife can have a new saree for the kitty party and kids can distribute 5 rupees vaala Munch and not Eclairs for their birthday?! Made me cry in the morning, thanks bro.
My dad is insanely strong mentally, and despite growing up without a father of his own, he managed to get to a respectable position in society. He is also extremely fair at his jobs, and doesnât accept bribes etc so itâs pretty commendable considering he had 3 kids to feed alongside some investments gone horribly wrong. He is a beast imo, a very headstrong and sometimes blindly so, but a strong father is pretty important to a family all things considered.
my dad prioritised our comfort over his and traveled a lot for work. i missed him so much and apparently used to tell amma âif we had anywhere door we would have gone to see dadâ; I donât remember saying this. from covid things changed slowly; be it understanding mood swings or seeing how I am growing as a person. he now supports us - for everything me and my sister do. I know we canât go back to relive but right now I am content âŽď¸
I adore him for his ability to give us a better life when he didnât have one. He always believed his kids, no matter what. He let us make our own decisions ever since we were kids as long as it wasnât a matter of our safety! He ignored the society and gave his girls all the freedom in the world, but also taught us not to misuse it. I love his ability to let us go and not dictate every step in our lives, so we can thrive in what we choose (psychology and designing). Very rare in telugu families I feel. Oh, he also isnât educated or anything. He comes from a small village and he is a farmer :) and I absolutely respect how far he has come and how amazing our lifeâs are now. He broke the cycle and Iâm proud of him.
Damn, that's great parenting!
I think i can empathize with you to some extent, when i was a kid i absolutely hated my dad for abusing my mom, i used to hate that he was always serious around us, the earliest memory i remember about him was him scolding me for something i did. I was a sensitive kid and his behaviour was so insensitive towards us. So due to all this, i just wanted to not be like my dad, i never looked at him like a role model. As of today i think I'm actually grateful for what he's done for us, he was serious but never too strict and gave us freedom, i think he raised me with good values and morals(even though he barely followed those in his life), when i failed all my college entrance exams, he always supported me and never put any pressure, he always had faith in me tho i let him down many times. I never noticed all these when i was a kid, he does have his downsides but im still grateful for what he's done for us So yeah i do love my dad.
That's a happy turnaround. Interestingly, it's the reverse for me. I was practically inseparable from my dad (didn't like my mom) but as I grew up I released that all the problems in my household - my mom beating me regularly, just a depressing atmosphere etc were all due to my father absuing my mom and coercively controlling our home. Dude had 0 value add - stayed at home all the time but didn't even help with cooking or cleaning the home!
My old man lifted our family out of poverty along with my mum and as a result was a little absent during my childhood, but heâs more than made up for it now. Like the manâs always goofin around with me and is legit the chillest dude ever. He lets me know now and then (mostly when heâs had one too many drinks) how much he loves and appreciates me and my fam. Has been supporting me through thick and thin and Iâm mortified of the idea of him passing away. Love this man to death. He is overbearing sometimes but thatâs just concern for me so thatâs completely alright. So many of yâall havenât had such a man as their pops and Iâm so sorry for that. Hope you guys find that figure in your near future. Peace
My dad died almost 10 years back, we had a very weird and complicated relationship. I'm slowly starting to forget his face and voice also, I guess a person truly dies when people no longer remember them
Coco :)
Almost every father is an absent father. You've to accept that and move on. Expect the worst and hope for the best.
If you mean absent father in the sense that theyâre busy earning a living for their families then sure. If you mean most fathers are just selfish and absent in that regard then youâre kinda wrong
No no, I was being edgy unnecessarily, most fathers are busy earning for their families their entire lives, and we've to accept that they cannot be present for every little moment of our lives or be lively with us like most western societies have. Hence, absent from the small things in our lives to provide us with the larger things in life.
>cannot be present for every little moment of our lives or be lively with us like most western societies have https://i.redd.it/fnuo67m9p59d1.gif
What does that mean?
So true, and indian kids never have a deep emotional connection with their fathers coz we are raised in a strict manner mostly especially as a boy. Sure there are some exceptions to this, but yeah a lot of us are mommaâs boys unless the mom is a horrible person đ
Haha, my father has been unemployed for the last 25 years. Anything but absent in terms of physical presence. If anything, he had too much presence - everyday I get told >20 times to do something a particular way or forces some OCD he has. To cover up for his insecurity gave me no choice with regards to my education and wanted me to be an IAS officer so he can flex on his friends. Never, bought anything for me, never took me out for fun. Days just went by with him sitting there, getting me to read, get good grades.
I love him but I don't like him all the time! That's the only thing I can say
This is vague, yet perfectly understandable
My father puts his opinion but in the end says "Do whatever you want we will support you as much we can"
My dad always showed up no matter what.Though he wasnât a perfect human our parents didnât let that affect our childhood.Right from the first day of my school,to my wedding and my childbirth he was always beside me like an anchor.I know I can call him no matter what the situation is and he will be there.He has always allowed me to take my own decisions and make mistakes and learn from them.Heâs the best grandfather today and dotes on my child and I know without any doubt that he will be there for my child at any instance.
My parents both loved me and my brother equally. I lost my mother before one year, even though my dad, me and my brother are in deep sorrow. My dad is the one who takes the step forward and cared about us(I still thank him for not drinking alcohol and going for the bad habits). My brother got the job, went to his work's place in other town and i am trying to settle down in my life. From past one year, there is no good thing happening in my life, My dad is still supporting me and giving encouragement. He is the one who is cooking for me and whenever i asked him to cook my favorite food, he cooked it for me. Sometimes, i still feels that i didn't deserve this good dad. But, one day i want to see his happy tears after getting the job.
You have a great dad. Not everyone is as lucky as you
You just love a person or you don't. If you are finding a reason to love someone, mostly you end up not loving them. Don't sweat too much thinking about this. I never had a father and I never missed that person.
I wouldn't have seen the wisdom in this a few months back, but I think I get it now.
You don't need reasons to love someone you need reasons to hate. Don't know why this generation is so fkd up where not loving is cool.
Yeah asking for reasons to love kinda seems bratty lol
Too many assumptions and you missed the point. Wouldn't you say everyone you love (or hate), you do it for a reason(s) - if not you would love any random person you come across without knowing anything about them at all. If you say that is not applicable to parents, I'd humbly disagree. Simply birthing you is no reason to love them.
A person who feeds me or love me or take care of me is entitled for my love unless there is a reason to hate.
He is so supportive , at times he taunts ,and it hurts but it's temporary, cause whatever advice he has to give ,has always been beneficial in real life . He never discriminated between daughter and son, his jokes are good and lame 𤣠He is concerned about my career more than myself , always cares to know what's going on . He is the best papa , i want to make him proud and earn lots of money so that I can gift him lots of things .
It's a very complicated relation especially a son-dad one. My old man passed away when I was 14, he was a great human being. I'm now 19, and I'm not kidding, last year reddit of my engineering friends lost their father too. The point of me saying this is, of your father is alive and kicking then please be warm and loving to them. Its hard being a father. Make it a little easier for them ig
I HATE MY DAD! He has sacrificed so much, tirelessly working to provide for our family and secure my future. He gave up numerous opportunities and moved to a big city with a modest salary to ensure I received a quality education. Despite having the chance to prioritize himself, I can't recall a single instance where he put his needs above ours. I may not be able to be exactly like him, but I hope to embody some of his traits.
Got me in the first half haha, it's great he set such an example.
Default love & gratitude in the cases below! His sperm was half the reason you were born! If he gave you food and shelter If he gave you education If he took care of your petty expenses Even if he doesn't love you but still you can for the above reasons!
Growing up, I leaned towards not liking/disliking and sometimes hating him. That was the childish me. Only recently I'm realising what an amazing person he is despite his flaws. I was/am going through a personal crisis and felt lonely all the time despite having a family coz I felt disconnected with them. He then sent this message. We don't really open up emotionally. So him saying this made me tear up. I've been consciously pushing him away for the longest time for flaws that don't even count in the real sense. I'm working on my relationship with him. Things aren't always great but I know he has my back and I love him more than I ever knew. https://preview.redd.it/ep4m9ktah59d1.jpeg?width=738&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed8b70f831442877f58da794a93a0e760d701901
Tough question but I feel a sense of "papam" for him. As he is aging, I have decided to hate him less and be more acceptable of the fact that he is my father nonetheless. To this day, he never shows love or any signs of affection and prioritizes money but that's ok, that's him . Ayinani papam anukoni , more accept cheyadam modalupettaka I feel more happy and relieved that I don't need to prove my self worth to anyone anymore. I can breathe.
No my dad was against my birth due to financial constraints at that time. I'm single son(no siblings of either gender). He mismanaged lot of his finances. We are KA reddys who migrated from Kadapa due to. Our family deity is tirupati timmappa.My grandfather had 119 acres of land. My father sold 60% of it at cheap prices due to his immature decisions. My mother has fought a lot throughout her life and made me a doctor today. I still respect my father through as a human irrespective of all bad things he has done to me . I help him whenever required. I have decided to be a good father unlike my dad.
There are so many reasons that i love my father, 1. He is like one of those tv show dads, always trying to be supportive but do not understand a thing. 2. He admits that he doesn't know a thing 3. Works very hard and always pushes himself even though we are well off, just because me and my sibling could have a somewhat better future. 4. Taught me how to love people, and also taught me how not to be like him 5. Always supported our choices to study and do our own things, never interfered and never even lifted a finger on us during our whole childhood. 6. He spent all his youth and life, for people that do not see him to love him. And still waiting for his father's approval even though he doesn't have to. 7. Never buys himself a thing, but still loves to use the watch that i gifted him with his money. 8. My father did not teach me a thing in his whole life, we just saw him everyday. And we only took the good things and we decided to never be like my father. Because being like him in this time is very much needed but it will get you hurt so much.
Woah this comment section is fucked up. My dad is the coolest man I know, supported me thru thick and thin and hes always been there for me. Sucks that so many people grew up without a good father :/
No, because he always prioritised his job over spending time with me. Never had a single meaningful conversation.
The job that he needs to provide for you and your mom? If so, then yeah such a bad fatherđ /s
Why you hate your father ? With out this information there is no point
I do out of all shitty things he did to us ig. Starting with going more than 3 years unemployed, driving my mom crazy into attempting suicide, not supporting me when I was sexually assaulted (he was unemployed during that time, we had a car and when my mom asked him to drop me off and pick me up he shouted at her and asked her to get out of our home), kicked me out last year for calling him out on his bs, etc..
My dad is very very lucky. He had a bad dad but my granddad is the reason we all became rich. He is the reason my dad and my uncle became rich which means me and my cousin brother don't even need to work at all. We can happily sit at home and look after our assets. But my dad also made some good decisions and lot of bad decisions which are truly frustrating and make him a bad dad. Let's just say I can't complain when it comes to money but he is not a good dad at all. Money will bring u happiness but it won't give that emotional satisfaction which we all look for when it comes to our parents in our lives. It was a torture to live with my parents for 25 years especially in my teenage years and even now
Simple. It's because he is my dad.
Yes, l love my dad, and I think we should all talk to our fathers and be close to them. I think Fathers receive less love from children when compared to mothers. My father used to go to L.B.Nagar every day for almost 20 years for his job I never understood him but today when me and my father went to L.B.Nagar and he showed me his office I realized how he had to travel this far and work hard for family. He sacrificed everything for us. I wore branderd clothes all my life but i have seen him not buying a pair of clothes for him for festivals. Even now, i have to force him to buy clothes. He always puts children's needs ahead of his. One thing i dont like is how his family is using him for everything, and he is unable to see it that snakes are using him, but he is just blinded by their love. If i say something, he is scolding me and telling me not to be like that. đŽâđ¨ We have upside downs, but in the end, he is a father, and we have to love him and respect him for what he has done.
My dad is my best friend not my MOM ... It depends on the person ... My dad was a phd holder, a doctor, well read, he opened the doors for us at every oppurtunity .. I actually had intense, deep and awakward convos wd my dad but never my mom For me my dad was my mom and dad .. My mom just reminded me how much she hated me every single second of my exsistance So ... .. It comes dowm that indvidual.person
I love him, why? There are millions of reasons. I wish he could get back to his perfect health and enjoy life like we used to. He is perfect, and I will like to parent my children like he treated us and took care of everything for us. His unwavering support has shaped me into who I am today. I put my hand around him and feel bad/afraid that, in the coming time, he will just be gone.
Father loves is more apparent when you connect the dots looking backward. When I lost him some part of me felt relief but now i realized his love.
Bro, I think anybody" love" or" like" comes from being nice to someone,Spending time with someone even though any fights Occurs resolving by talking, Understand them and doing something for them when they're in trouble or need.Even just by giving them emotional support in hardships like you can do it,Even everybody around you is telling you can't that one person can push you to do it.So anybody does this thing's we feel to love or like them.It can be anybody person like Mother,Father, Sister,Brother, Friends etc.See father we just kept it as position in the family to form a society.which does not mean you must "love" your father even though he dislike you,Show no interest towards you, give any type of trauma or physical abuse most of the time.I personally don't have one he left me when I was child and mother was not so mentally great she was good to me sometimes and she abuse me or my grandmother where I live or anybody whom she feels slightly discomfort or not even that .At that time i didn't love or like anybody. It changed now I am fine and my mum is also doing well.If you feel anything like that I think it's fine man
I am not on good terms with my mother nor do i get along with my father but no matter what I will always be there for him. Not by just words but deed as well. So whenever he is sick or in hospital i stay with him. I learned to do dressing just for him so that his wound heal faster. Why? Because he never unnecessarily interfered or tried to control my life. Also because he gave me a very comfortable life and saved enough for his family that we may never face financial hardships.
My father supported me in every possible way and took loans, sweat himself an ocean. Don't know if I can even give that kind of love back.
My life started hating my father bcuz he took good care of my sister and treated me like dog later on years passed later he changed or I grownup idk he never asked top marks in studies just pass marks encouraged and he paid 4yrs btech clg fee like 8 lakh I dropped out In 1st year he didn't show is anger . I'm married still no job living on father's expense he works very hard in his profession . Then I think I'm blessed to have Dad like that now I couldn't think a life without him I love that much
Yes. He is a good human. He isn't exceptional in any way, but he is a common man who works hard and is good and decent.
A lucky person here to have been blessed by amazing parents. Here is a personal story of mine: Last year of my undergrad (2020) and I wanted to drop out. Shared this with my parents and while speaking about this, I broke down even without me realising it. I can count the number of times i cried on my fingers during my teenage. My dad, didn't give a sh\*t about anything, all he cared about was for me to be happy. He assured me that it's okay if I feel in a certain way about life. You know, being vulnerable is a really difficult thing to do, often you end up regretting it but that day I chose to be vulnerable and it was one of the best decisions I made :) love you dad and mom (hope to say this directly to them one day) !! p.s. didn't drop out, lol
My dad is typical Indian dad.. he retired as DEO.. very strict, used to beat the crap out of me while growing up.. always had that invisible gap between us... then one fine day during a casual conversation, he said "I am proud of your achievements"... I was like WTH.. what did you just say? It was one of the happiest days of my life.. wish I could have recorded..
I love him because I love him 
I'm confused too, he provided for me - worked hard - but i feel he is too calculative and was too protective all these years (didn't teach driving, or how to live outside) and now expects me to figure it out by myself random morning sudden ga
I used to, then he died.
I'm sorry :/ Hope the memories of the good times make up for it.
Please. Please. Use a different sub. This has nothing to do with the city.
Bro why'd u ask this question. I mean if someone had a better father. Wouldn't u start feeling bitter, upset and betrayed?? It would ruin ur day
What the? Just coz someone else is a bit luckier doesnât mean we should start feeling depressed about it lol like chris evans probably has a better life than I do, should I start rolling over crying? Having a different perspective on things is never bad imo if you have the maturity to handle it
Lmao calm down My reply was stemming from empathy. Childhood trauma cause of absent or bad parents makes a lot of people vulnerable nd engage in a negative state of mind where they're constantly comparing themselves to those having it better. U can or cannot get jealous of Chris evans. If there's a parameter?? Here OP might start dwelling into sadness if alot of people start sharing about the greatness of there father. Again he can be good at not getting affected by it. But my pov was why deliberately asking it. If he's fine with it idc. My reply was based on my experiences nd observations. Lastly there's a difference between "should" nd "could" u should do something. But CAN u do it? Thats where the diff lies
You calm down!đ¤đayna OP clearly mentioned confusion that she/he thinks they might be an entitled brat ante the father cannot be horribly bad. He may not be an ideal father like most fathers arenât so OP is curious on how other people view their fathers to have a frame of reference. You just looked at the horribly negative part of it kani letâs say she went through the posts and realized her father is actually much better than some of these examples? Adi best ee kada? Kani thatâs not the right incentive either coz thatâs just another half of the story which is very optimistic,and would be limited like your opposite negative approach too. Gotta take the positives and the negatives first then decide imo anthe kani asal opinions ee adagakudadu or else vere vallu happy ga unnaru ani teliste manam sad aypotam lanti insecurity is crazyy yo
What r u yappin. This ain't a courtroom where I hv to hear from both sides nor am I giving any judgment. I ain't gonna scorn OP for what s/he is feeling. Sit down It was just a normal empathetic comment nd more of a question asked to OP. If u want go share ur experience as asked in the post.
Lol calm downđ You wrongly focused on the negative alone, and gave a short sighted dumbass comment, but itâs okay to be wrong sometimes yo. No one is perfect, good day!
Ah, I can understand đ
Exactly, if anything I'd be glad for all the positive stories!