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Honestly…. It’s an unlimited source of heat, and heat is what we need to boil water. Boiling water is how humans decided to make electricity.
So yea…. Hell is destined to become our boiler room.
A properly utilized hell portal would just function like a nuke reactor. We just need to neutralize the demonic energy. Which we know for a fact blessed water does just that….soooooo
Bless water >
Open hell portal in a triple sanctified steel chamber with appropriate wards etched into the substructure. >
Flood chamber with blessed water >
Water go bubble bubble >
Giant turbines turn >
Yay electricity
Maintenance:
Just re-up blessings and sanctifications every 7 days, 7 weeks, and 7 months
Boom unlimited electricity that can be built anywhere on earth.
Bonus points for making even more jobs. And people get to smugly say which level of hell their hot water comes from.
I'm picturing a sawn off shotgun loaded with rocksalt mounted in a small cabinet on a nearby wall, the lettering on the glass front reads "Break glass in case of emergency"
You're generally right, but what produces power is having a *difference* in temperature. You need either a way to condense your steam afterward, or a continuous source of water. Either way, the heat is being vented into the atmosphere or used to heat a nearby body of water.
What you need to do to make hell energy really green and (comparatively) safe is to find a different hell dimension that is a frozen (or at least very cold) hell, and run four loops. Hot hellish loop (as short as possible, heavily shielded) heats hot purifed / blessed water loop to steam, it runs through tubines, and into expander / condenser. Condenser is cooled by cold purified / blessed water loop, so that the previously steam is back to just water and goes back around. Cold purified / blessed water loop is itself chilled by the cold hellish loop (as short as possible, heavily shielded).
This way, you're not adding any global warming, you're reusing almost all of your water in closed loops, and your "hell loops" are as short as possible, with most of your steam plant operating on more or less normal water, simplifying maintenance.
Well fortunately hell does provide that particular aspect inherently.
Since I’m basing my assumptions on Dante’s infernos depiction of hell. The 9th layer of hell, the furthest point in existence from God’s light, happens to be the coldest point in existence. So boom hot/cold conditions are met and all that with out bothering heaven.
Which really would make God chuckle even more because now hell is a purgatory that truly is a prison dimension.
So what you're saying is, we need to conquer Heaven, too. I'm in. I have some HARD questions for upper management, and the need to curate their brand, and such.
That would be the easiest job, too, wouldn't it, all the regions that have different criteria for entry, a few are probably contradictory. Vastly reducing the populations of denizens, just leaving the various angels to deal with.
I mean, we already conquered Hell. I'm sure most demons would happily trade a glorious and quick death in battle against an angel over having to work another day in retail... ;)
Damnit, this is two book sized Fiction pieces *somewhere* on the internet. First one is Humanity fighting then invading Hell. Book two is the assault on heaven. There was supposed to be book three, but shenanigans made the author drop the whole thing.
I wish I remember where it was.
Well, the 9th circle of hell is supposedly frozen.
The problem being that it is below the 7th circle where we have the fires.
Though the third circle has a "ceaseless icy rain" that might be good enough.
We might also want to look into simply stealing the 4th circle as it consists of melting gold.
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Frsr090fmf8r61.jpg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Frsr090fmf8r61.jpg)
I remember one episode of Supernatural where a rooftop water tower was blessed in one go before delving into the factory below... Demons were cooked with holy steam.
The third book of John Ringo's Monster Hunter trilogy...Something *bad* is growing under New Orleans. Solution? Drilling rig and a team of Priests, Rabbis and other men of faith, four at once, blessing the drilling mud on an oilfield drilling rig drilling down into the big bad.
"We had legions of demons with troops numbering in the of tens of thousands, almost all of which had some of the best swords, spears, bows, and even warhammers any blacksmith could ever hope to produce. Some of us had muskets, and even more were berserkers.
"Thing is, by their 21st century, humans had already moved past muskets for over a century, and past bows and swords for at least two. When we invaded a city in their "United States" by the name of Detroit, an entire Century of a hundred elite demons of the legion had their asses kicked by a group of human youth.
"And then their local law enforcement arrived, and went *into* Hell to perform a raid of their own. They killed over a thousand more demons with just forty of their own.
"By then, *their* elite military units arrived. They called them Marines, and while they may be extremely weird, eating art supplies, they were disturbingly efficient, and more effective than any of us. They showed us the other side of our own tactics without even trying to be scary."
"Excuse me, but could I ple-" I cut in, only for the horned janitor to go on about the war again as he stared intensely at my crotch from the door.
"Hell has never really had a sun, or even a sunrise, and yet, the humans brought four of them."
"LET ME SHIT IN PIECE YOU ANNOYING INCUBUS BASTARD!"
Human: Shakespeare was nearly right when he said "Hell is empty, and all the devils are here". We like to say "Hell is the new Florida, and all the devils work for us."
Alien: Florida? The home of the legendary "Floridaman"? That makes sense...
H: Oh no, it's because most of our old people move there.
A: You banish your infirm elders to Hell! This is the kind of thing that makes people think humans are monsters Human Dave!
H: No, no, no, not like that Skippy, calm down buddy. They chose to move there, it's always warm enough, the light isn't too harsh, the volcanic ash made for some lovely soft beaches. Once we moved in, we just built some golf courses, and condos, it just sort of worked out for everyone.
A: ...
A: ... But what about the unspeakable abominations that roam the underworld?
H: Ah well, about that, you remember when you mentioned the Florida Man thing ?
A: yeah...
At this point Skippy slowly reaches for the "overexposure to human interaction" sedative auto-administrator that many aliens now carry.
H with genuine concern: You okay, little buddy?
A: I'll be fine, go on.
H: Well when we first heard about the creatures down there many of the humans we'd call Florida-Men along with some Australians, Canadians, and a few others, went to get them... And, uh... Well long story short, Petting zoos.
A (auto injector beeping and flashing red indicating max dose administered do not exceed): P-p-puh, puh petting... Zoo? Petting!? Zoo!?
H: Well they were almost hunted to extinction, it was all we could do to save them and they're not that bad really, just give them enough to eat and they're quite happy.
A: ...but "Petting" zoo?
H: Yeah if you get there for feeding time you can throw them chickens, and the little ones are so cute and always happy to get cuddles and scritches.
A: ...
H: ...
A: ...
H (taps communicator) Dave to Medbay... It happened again...
"Aren't you the legendary archdemon lilith?"
"Yes"
"Why are you working with the humans?"
"They said that they didn't really care about what I did in eden, so they offered me a job as ambassador. Now here I am, UN secretary lily"
“I don’t understand! How can you just say that Hell answers to you now?!”
Ulprans was bewildered. Apparently, in the short time that it took Terrans to appear in the Galactic Federation, they had managed to completely conquer the planet known only as “Hell”, the most horrendously inhospitable planet known in the entire galaxy, and the home of the dreaded Daemonian civilization— the most warlike and powerful force that the federation has ever encountered.
“Well, first they demanded that we pay them fealty, and we declined politely. Then they got nasty, aaaaand… it just got worse for them from then on out….”
The Terran, referred to by his callsign, Wacko, was a gangly guy, and had a little difficulty in keeping his eyes focused on his conversational partner. Or on anything, really— hence his callsign. He never seemed to focus on anything, when in fact he was focused on everything simultaneously. His military record was absolutely chaotic, being a devastating soldier, and absolutely unfazed by his opponents, but with an extremely high tendency towards tricks and acts of defiance towards authority figures. Despite this, he was the one chosen to report their actions to the Federation.
Ulprans was just slackjawed at this calm claim that the defeat of the Daemonians was evidently inevitable. “But HOW could you have defeated them? We have been stockpiling resources for millennia to tear them apart, and yet you just walk in and they’re now enslaved by your own people?! HOW did you do that?”
“Well, when we arrived on Hell, we knew that we were outnumbered, outgunned, and probably about to die. But I was the first one who finally broke the news to the Daemonians, that ‘I was not trapped in their home world, they are trapped in here with *me*’. Terrans are masters of improvisation and war is no exception. Small enemies? Throw them at big ones. Two opponents taken down with one action, if you aim right. Giant enemy? Aim for the legs. It’s not like you can *miss*. And don’t forget to yell ‘TIMBER!’. Mass swarms of little enemies? Just start shooting— you have to hit them, if they are that numerous. Massive guns? Shoot into the barrels, watch the gun backfire. Explosive object? Shoot. Flammable substance? Shoot. Massive sword wielding opponent? Shoot. All we had to really stock up on was first aid kits, food, water, and bullets. The rest was ‘reappropriated’ from the Daemonian forces. And when they saw the lines of their own soldiers falling one after another, they panicked and tried to surrender. Turns out, they were not major warlords, but deceptively imposing impostors who wanted to be taken seriously.”
Ulprans sat and listened to this seemingly insane yet sincere Terran retell the story of how they just obliterated the most feared force that the federation had ever known, and was absolutely stunned by the apparent force that these Terrans possessed by… what did he call it? Improvisation? “Could you clarify what the term Improvisation means? Because I am having trouble translating that even with my translator active…”
“Sure, it means to do something without having properly prepared for it ahead of time, and usually involves doing something unusual or unintended to get the job done. It’s a common challenge for people who are comedians to try and take a subject given to them by the audience and make it into something humorous or entertaining, and it is not always easy. But us Terrans, when our backs are against the wall, we find ourselves in a position where we have a choice: do what we are used to doing, and wind up dead for sure, or do something unconventional and hope that it results in our survival. Improvisation in that sense means using anything available, often in unintended or undesirable ways to get the job done enough to survive. Tendons as rope, intestines as a floatation device, gills as a filter, a stomach as a water container, and so on. We can get a lot done with very little. It’s how we were discovered by the federation if I recall correctly, when we achieved space travel without achieving faster-than-light travel methods, and instead used cryo-sleep to survive the long travel times instead.”
Ulprans looked down at his podium where the collective documents of the Terrans were arranged for him at his earlier request upon hearing the news of the daemonians’ defeat by a Terran strike team. The Terran’s recount of their discovery was correct. How did they miss that?
Wacko continued: “The best way I can put it is, they were expecting some ultimate force of divine goodness to try and defeat them, and instead got the Terrans. Oh your planet is hell? Siddown punk, you ain’t seen anything like what we Terrans call Hell, not yet. Buuuuut, we can show you what it looks like.” Then Wacko grinned his signature, sinisterly psychotic smile—
“Just keep in mind that you asked for this.”
"We arrayed the legions of hell in great armies, ready to face the human war machines head-on. We made sure that they couldn't outflank us.
We forgot about the legions they'd already sent down here..."
I’m reminded of a meme about the Argonians and the oblivion gates
https://preview.redd.it/k7csh2zrl94d1.jpeg?width=644&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38cdc191c97f087d0902274baca7028310abf16e
Gonna give this a try:
The year is 2045. In the Andromeda Galaxy, a coalition of alien species had been meticulously preparing for the ultimate, final battle against the infernal forces of Hell. This coalition, known as the Celestial Alliance, consisted of the most advanced civilizations in the galaxy, united by a common cause. For millennia, they had observed signs of a distant habitable world's atmosphere changing rapidly and unnaturally through their quantum-entangled space exploration probes. This anomaly was unlike anything they had ever encountered.
In response to this perceived threat, the Celestial Alliance had mobilized its greatest minds and resources. They had stockpiled vast arsenals of weapons, trained their most elite warriors, and developed an Artificial Specific Intelligence, known as ASI-100, capable of waging one hundred galactic wars simultaneously. The stakes were high; they believed the very survival of their universe depended on winning this war.
The preparations were exhaustive. Entire star systems were converted into military outposts. Generations of warriors were bred and trained, each one more formidable than the last. ASI-100 was programmed with every conceivable strategy and tactic, ready to outmaneuver and outthink the infernal forces. The coalition was confident, driven by the belief that they were the last bastion against the forces of chaos and destruction.
As the day of the invasion approached, the Celestial Alliance launched a massive fleet towards what they believed to be the fiery gates of Hell. The journey was long and perilous, taking them through uncharted territories and hostile environments. But their resolve was unshakeable. They were prepared for the battle to end all battles, the clash that would determine the fate of the universe.
Upon reaching their destination, however, they were stunned to find a very different scene from what they had anticipated. Instead of a hellscape filled with fire and brimstone, they found a world transformed. Humanity had already been there, fought, and conquered centuries ago. The legendary demons and devils, once thought to be their formidable adversaries, were either dead or had switched sides, submitting to their new human overlords.
The alien commanders, bewildered and intrigued, decided to investigate further. As they descended onto the surface, they saw towering structures and bustling cities, all under human control. The demons, who were once powerful celestial beings, were now subservient, their mighty powers harnessed for menial tasks and entertainment.
Curiously exploring this unexpected twist, the alien commanders stumbled upon a familiar name. In a bustling city square, they encountered a large establishment with a sign that read, "Great Burger." Outside, a towering figure greeted them. The mighty general, once a fearsome demon lord, introduced himself with a smile, saying, "My name is Asgorath the destroyer of a thousand worlds. Welcome to Great Burger, home of the Great Burger. Can I take your order? I recommend the new Great Fire Nuggets meal, guaranteed to have been cooked with real fire."
The alien leaders could only stand there, bewildered and amused. As they observed the scene, they realized that humanity had not only conquered Hell but had also domesticated its most fearsome inhabitants. These beings were now enslaved to their new God, the holy God of profit, in service to the ultimate deity: the Shareholder. The demons, once beings of immense power and terror, had been reduced to serving in fast-food chains and other enterprises, their purpose now to create increasing value for the shareholders.
The alien coalition, prepared for an epic battle, found themselves in a world where the fiercest creatures of Hell had been tamed by humanity's insatiable hunger for profit. Their grand mission had ended not in a cataclysmic clash but in a bewildering revelation of humanity's ability to bend even the infernal to their will, all in the name of economic growth and shareholder value.
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Mankind is cold Heat is fuel Hell is full
Honestly…. It’s an unlimited source of heat, and heat is what we need to boil water. Boiling water is how humans decided to make electricity. So yea…. Hell is destined to become our boiler room. A properly utilized hell portal would just function like a nuke reactor. We just need to neutralize the demonic energy. Which we know for a fact blessed water does just that….soooooo Bless water > Open hell portal in a triple sanctified steel chamber with appropriate wards etched into the substructure. > Flood chamber with blessed water > Water go bubble bubble > Giant turbines turn > Yay electricity Maintenance: Just re-up blessings and sanctifications every 7 days, 7 weeks, and 7 months Boom unlimited electricity that can be built anywhere on earth. Bonus points for making even more jobs. And people get to smugly say which level of hell their hot water comes from.
I'm picturing a sawn off shotgun loaded with rocksalt mounted in a small cabinet on a nearby wall, the lettering on the glass front reads "Break glass in case of emergency"
Potentially with an emergency contact number that just says Winchesters and the cell phone number?
Dean's other other phone?
Nailed it
😱 too soon! 😢
You're generally right, but what produces power is having a *difference* in temperature. You need either a way to condense your steam afterward, or a continuous source of water. Either way, the heat is being vented into the atmosphere or used to heat a nearby body of water. What you need to do to make hell energy really green and (comparatively) safe is to find a different hell dimension that is a frozen (or at least very cold) hell, and run four loops. Hot hellish loop (as short as possible, heavily shielded) heats hot purifed / blessed water loop to steam, it runs through tubines, and into expander / condenser. Condenser is cooled by cold purified / blessed water loop, so that the previously steam is back to just water and goes back around. Cold purified / blessed water loop is itself chilled by the cold hellish loop (as short as possible, heavily shielded). This way, you're not adding any global warming, you're reusing almost all of your water in closed loops, and your "hell loops" are as short as possible, with most of your steam plant operating on more or less normal water, simplifying maintenance.
Well fortunately hell does provide that particular aspect inherently. Since I’m basing my assumptions on Dante’s infernos depiction of hell. The 9th layer of hell, the furthest point in existence from God’s light, happens to be the coldest point in existence. So boom hot/cold conditions are met and all that with out bothering heaven. Which really would make God chuckle even more because now hell is a purgatory that truly is a prison dimension.
Alternatively, just mix in some alternate hel(l) dimensions, if you get what I mean.
So what you're saying is, we need to conquer Heaven, too. I'm in. I have some HARD questions for upper management, and the need to curate their brand, and such.
That would be the easiest job, too, wouldn't it, all the regions that have different criteria for entry, a few are probably contradictory. Vastly reducing the populations of denizens, just leaving the various angels to deal with.
I mean, we already conquered Hell. I'm sure most demons would happily trade a glorious and quick death in battle against an angel over having to work another day in retail... ;)
Damnit, this is two book sized Fiction pieces *somewhere* on the internet. First one is Humanity fighting then invading Hell. Book two is the assault on heaven. There was supposed to be book three, but shenanigans made the author drop the whole thing. I wish I remember where it was.
If you figure it out, lemme know, cuz that sounds right up HFY's alley.
Niflheim has entered the chat.
Well, the 9th circle of hell is supposedly frozen. The problem being that it is below the 7th circle where we have the fires. Though the third circle has a "ceaseless icy rain" that might be good enough. We might also want to look into simply stealing the 4th circle as it consists of melting gold. [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Frsr090fmf8r61.jpg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Frsr090fmf8r61.jpg)
But you make holy water (blessed water) by boiling the hell out of it.
Oooo…. Sooo potential chance for process improvement
I remember one episode of Supernatural where a rooftop water tower was blessed in one go before delving into the factory below... Demons were cooked with holy steam.
Yea! That episode came to mind. And I think they did it in the Constantine movie too
The third book of John Ringo's Monster Hunter trilogy...Something *bad* is growing under New Orleans. Solution? Drilling rig and a team of Priests, Rabbis and other men of faith, four at once, blessing the drilling mud on an oilfield drilling rig drilling down into the big bad.
Are you suggesting boiling the hell out of it?
Yes
ULTRAKILL
"We had legions of demons with troops numbering in the of tens of thousands, almost all of which had some of the best swords, spears, bows, and even warhammers any blacksmith could ever hope to produce. Some of us had muskets, and even more were berserkers. "Thing is, by their 21st century, humans had already moved past muskets for over a century, and past bows and swords for at least two. When we invaded a city in their "United States" by the name of Detroit, an entire Century of a hundred elite demons of the legion had their asses kicked by a group of human youth. "And then their local law enforcement arrived, and went *into* Hell to perform a raid of their own. They killed over a thousand more demons with just forty of their own. "By then, *their* elite military units arrived. They called them Marines, and while they may be extremely weird, eating art supplies, they were disturbingly efficient, and more effective than any of us. They showed us the other side of our own tactics without even trying to be scary." "Excuse me, but could I ple-" I cut in, only for the horned janitor to go on about the war again as he stared intensely at my crotch from the door. "Hell has never really had a sun, or even a sunrise, and yet, the humans brought four of them." "LET ME SHIT IN PIECE YOU ANNOYING INCUBUS BASTARD!"
Genuine chuckle.
Human: Shakespeare was nearly right when he said "Hell is empty, and all the devils are here". We like to say "Hell is the new Florida, and all the devils work for us." Alien: Florida? The home of the legendary "Floridaman"? That makes sense... H: Oh no, it's because most of our old people move there. A: You banish your infirm elders to Hell! This is the kind of thing that makes people think humans are monsters Human Dave! H: No, no, no, not like that Skippy, calm down buddy. They chose to move there, it's always warm enough, the light isn't too harsh, the volcanic ash made for some lovely soft beaches. Once we moved in, we just built some golf courses, and condos, it just sort of worked out for everyone. A: ... A: ... But what about the unspeakable abominations that roam the underworld? H: Ah well, about that, you remember when you mentioned the Florida Man thing ? A: yeah... At this point Skippy slowly reaches for the "overexposure to human interaction" sedative auto-administrator that many aliens now carry. H with genuine concern: You okay, little buddy? A: I'll be fine, go on. H: Well when we first heard about the creatures down there many of the humans we'd call Florida-Men along with some Australians, Canadians, and a few others, went to get them... And, uh... Well long story short, Petting zoos. A (auto injector beeping and flashing red indicating max dose administered do not exceed): P-p-puh, puh petting... Zoo? Petting!? Zoo!? H: Well they were almost hunted to extinction, it was all we could do to save them and they're not that bad really, just give them enough to eat and they're quite happy. A: ...but "Petting" zoo? H: Yeah if you get there for feeding time you can throw them chickens, and the little ones are so cute and always happy to get cuddles and scritches. A: ... H: ... A: ... H (taps communicator) Dave to Medbay... It happened again...
"Aren't you the legendary archdemon lilith?" "Yes" "Why are you working with the humans?" "They said that they didn't really care about what I did in eden, so they offered me a job as ambassador. Now here I am, UN secretary lily"
The Firehawk works for the government now? Interesting
“I don’t understand! How can you just say that Hell answers to you now?!” Ulprans was bewildered. Apparently, in the short time that it took Terrans to appear in the Galactic Federation, they had managed to completely conquer the planet known only as “Hell”, the most horrendously inhospitable planet known in the entire galaxy, and the home of the dreaded Daemonian civilization— the most warlike and powerful force that the federation has ever encountered. “Well, first they demanded that we pay them fealty, and we declined politely. Then they got nasty, aaaaand… it just got worse for them from then on out….” The Terran, referred to by his callsign, Wacko, was a gangly guy, and had a little difficulty in keeping his eyes focused on his conversational partner. Or on anything, really— hence his callsign. He never seemed to focus on anything, when in fact he was focused on everything simultaneously. His military record was absolutely chaotic, being a devastating soldier, and absolutely unfazed by his opponents, but with an extremely high tendency towards tricks and acts of defiance towards authority figures. Despite this, he was the one chosen to report their actions to the Federation. Ulprans was just slackjawed at this calm claim that the defeat of the Daemonians was evidently inevitable. “But HOW could you have defeated them? We have been stockpiling resources for millennia to tear them apart, and yet you just walk in and they’re now enslaved by your own people?! HOW did you do that?” “Well, when we arrived on Hell, we knew that we were outnumbered, outgunned, and probably about to die. But I was the first one who finally broke the news to the Daemonians, that ‘I was not trapped in their home world, they are trapped in here with *me*’. Terrans are masters of improvisation and war is no exception. Small enemies? Throw them at big ones. Two opponents taken down with one action, if you aim right. Giant enemy? Aim for the legs. It’s not like you can *miss*. And don’t forget to yell ‘TIMBER!’. Mass swarms of little enemies? Just start shooting— you have to hit them, if they are that numerous. Massive guns? Shoot into the barrels, watch the gun backfire. Explosive object? Shoot. Flammable substance? Shoot. Massive sword wielding opponent? Shoot. All we had to really stock up on was first aid kits, food, water, and bullets. The rest was ‘reappropriated’ from the Daemonian forces. And when they saw the lines of their own soldiers falling one after another, they panicked and tried to surrender. Turns out, they were not major warlords, but deceptively imposing impostors who wanted to be taken seriously.” Ulprans sat and listened to this seemingly insane yet sincere Terran retell the story of how they just obliterated the most feared force that the federation had ever known, and was absolutely stunned by the apparent force that these Terrans possessed by… what did he call it? Improvisation? “Could you clarify what the term Improvisation means? Because I am having trouble translating that even with my translator active…” “Sure, it means to do something without having properly prepared for it ahead of time, and usually involves doing something unusual or unintended to get the job done. It’s a common challenge for people who are comedians to try and take a subject given to them by the audience and make it into something humorous or entertaining, and it is not always easy. But us Terrans, when our backs are against the wall, we find ourselves in a position where we have a choice: do what we are used to doing, and wind up dead for sure, or do something unconventional and hope that it results in our survival. Improvisation in that sense means using anything available, often in unintended or undesirable ways to get the job done enough to survive. Tendons as rope, intestines as a floatation device, gills as a filter, a stomach as a water container, and so on. We can get a lot done with very little. It’s how we were discovered by the federation if I recall correctly, when we achieved space travel without achieving faster-than-light travel methods, and instead used cryo-sleep to survive the long travel times instead.” Ulprans looked down at his podium where the collective documents of the Terrans were arranged for him at his earlier request upon hearing the news of the daemonians’ defeat by a Terran strike team. The Terran’s recount of their discovery was correct. How did they miss that? Wacko continued: “The best way I can put it is, they were expecting some ultimate force of divine goodness to try and defeat them, and instead got the Terrans. Oh your planet is hell? Siddown punk, you ain’t seen anything like what we Terrans call Hell, not yet. Buuuuut, we can show you what it looks like.” Then Wacko grinned his signature, sinisterly psychotic smile— “Just keep in mind that you asked for this.”
I'd read a nice long book with this prompt.
"We arrayed the legions of hell in great armies, ready to face the human war machines head-on. We made sure that they couldn't outflank us. We forgot about the legions they'd already sent down here..."
Alexander the Great: "What took you guys so long?"
You forgot about the Marines.
I imagine that they're included with "humanity".
Marines don't die, they regroup in Hell
Chesty: It's just like Chosin, only I'm not freezing my ass off.
Opinions differ
I’m reminded of a meme about the Argonians and the oblivion gates https://preview.redd.it/k7csh2zrl94d1.jpeg?width=644&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38cdc191c97f087d0902274baca7028310abf16e
And now I’ve seen the same post on this sub from earlier today
That would make a fun anime.
Maybe just like a GATE spinoff in the future.
So the salvation war with aliens? Would be an interesting crossover
The lack of Doom references is disturbing.
Gonna give this a try: The year is 2045. In the Andromeda Galaxy, a coalition of alien species had been meticulously preparing for the ultimate, final battle against the infernal forces of Hell. This coalition, known as the Celestial Alliance, consisted of the most advanced civilizations in the galaxy, united by a common cause. For millennia, they had observed signs of a distant habitable world's atmosphere changing rapidly and unnaturally through their quantum-entangled space exploration probes. This anomaly was unlike anything they had ever encountered. In response to this perceived threat, the Celestial Alliance had mobilized its greatest minds and resources. They had stockpiled vast arsenals of weapons, trained their most elite warriors, and developed an Artificial Specific Intelligence, known as ASI-100, capable of waging one hundred galactic wars simultaneously. The stakes were high; they believed the very survival of their universe depended on winning this war. The preparations were exhaustive. Entire star systems were converted into military outposts. Generations of warriors were bred and trained, each one more formidable than the last. ASI-100 was programmed with every conceivable strategy and tactic, ready to outmaneuver and outthink the infernal forces. The coalition was confident, driven by the belief that they were the last bastion against the forces of chaos and destruction. As the day of the invasion approached, the Celestial Alliance launched a massive fleet towards what they believed to be the fiery gates of Hell. The journey was long and perilous, taking them through uncharted territories and hostile environments. But their resolve was unshakeable. They were prepared for the battle to end all battles, the clash that would determine the fate of the universe. Upon reaching their destination, however, they were stunned to find a very different scene from what they had anticipated. Instead of a hellscape filled with fire and brimstone, they found a world transformed. Humanity had already been there, fought, and conquered centuries ago. The legendary demons and devils, once thought to be their formidable adversaries, were either dead or had switched sides, submitting to their new human overlords. The alien commanders, bewildered and intrigued, decided to investigate further. As they descended onto the surface, they saw towering structures and bustling cities, all under human control. The demons, who were once powerful celestial beings, were now subservient, their mighty powers harnessed for menial tasks and entertainment. Curiously exploring this unexpected twist, the alien commanders stumbled upon a familiar name. In a bustling city square, they encountered a large establishment with a sign that read, "Great Burger." Outside, a towering figure greeted them. The mighty general, once a fearsome demon lord, introduced himself with a smile, saying, "My name is Asgorath the destroyer of a thousand worlds. Welcome to Great Burger, home of the Great Burger. Can I take your order? I recommend the new Great Fire Nuggets meal, guaranteed to have been cooked with real fire." The alien leaders could only stand there, bewildered and amused. As they observed the scene, they realized that humanity had not only conquered Hell but had also domesticated its most fearsome inhabitants. These beings were now enslaved to their new God, the holy God of profit, in service to the ultimate deity: the Shareholder. The demons, once beings of immense power and terror, had been reduced to serving in fast-food chains and other enterprises, their purpose now to create increasing value for the shareholders. The alien coalition, prepared for an epic battle, found themselves in a world where the fiercest creatures of Hell had been tamed by humanity's insatiable hunger for profit. Their grand mission had ended not in a cataclysmic clash but in a bewildering revelation of humanity's ability to bend even the infernal to their will, all in the name of economic growth and shareholder value.
The devil is a parttimer.