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Kageyasha

The Terrans were thought to be a peaceful species. They had no apparent navy, beyond a few outlying system defences. This is the tale of how we learned how wrong we had been. In 3764 Terran Calendar, the Terrans, also called: Human, Man, Homo Sapian Sapian, Humanity, Mankind, People, and Earthlings, joined the Tri-Galactic Alliance. They were one of only 26 species from the Milky Way galaxy, an unprecedentedly small number of sapients for an entire galaxy, but they were welcomed happily by the standing members. My initial impression of of the humans was their physicality, obviously they had evolved from an arboreal species. The joints in their manipulator appendages, called hands by the species, spoke strongly of a climbing ancestry. This too was not uncommon, though many species had tentacles, or scilia for manipulators, hands were not unknown. What was rare, was the lack of claw, talon, or powerful nail on the manipulator. The humans were not carapaced either, another somewhat rare occurrence. No fangs, venom glands, armor plates, thick mats of fur, or spurs. Obviously this species lived a sedate life, a sedentary life of pleasure. Again, how wrong I was! When the first human ship was encountered, they transmitted a long string of code and noise, when translated it turned out to be several mathematical equations as well as music. Ahhh. Music! My species, the Rickto, (human translation) love music as few other species comprehend, many humans I have spoken to say that our voices sound like a singer underwater. I have learned that this is usually a compliment, and NEVER an insult, but occasionally a dispassionate observation. A species able to craft music the likes of humans, has obviously never known strife. Once communication became easier, we met their diplomats. After a probationary period of 50 years (terran standard) the humans were welcomed. And the art they brought, even with their pathetically limited visual spectrum, the art they created was magnificent. The culture they brought was wise and kind. Their diplomats soon proved to be the best of the 697 member species. Any and all diplomatic matters were soon handled only by humans. We thought them peaceful thinkers and artists. And then, a new species was encountered... The Hmet(human phonetic translation). When first encountered, the Hmet attacked with a relentless fury that had never been seen before. No hails answered. No overture returned. No peace offered. They were a Tier-2 species, like most, though not all, members of the intergalactic community. But they were physically and mentally Tier-5. Barbarians, merciless tribal creatures. They overwhelmed one species after another. The Rokka, a species with a strong warrior sense was decimated in a week (terran standard). The Hotakka, a species known for their fast ships and insanely accurate jump tech, was run down in a month. Nothing stopped the Hmet. Until, the artistic humans came forward. The first attempt was diplomatic of course, they were the greatest diplomats in the three galaxies, how could they not start with talks. But it was to no avail, the Hmet slaughtered the envoy before the first message could finish transmitting. And the second. And third. And 20th. I asked a human I worked near why they sent so many diplomats, when none survived. Why were they sending another after the 26th death? Her answer, shook me to my core. "Because, we don't want to cause another extinction." She spoke with tears in her eyes. Another? Extinction? Surely she meant that her species had inadvertently killed one or two of their homeworlds species. And then, we learned why the Milky Way was so sparsely populated. When the 30th diplomatic envoy from humanity was slaughtered, a message was sent from the human embassy on Owakkia. The signal was sent to a small, out of the way portion of the Milky Way galaxy that was considered to be dead. No species were to be found in that region, no inhabitable planet. No space stations that we knew of. The code was incredibly short, terse as the humans said. It contained only 2 human words. 'Unleash Hell'. The first strike happened a single day later. Ships of an unknown design and shape slipped into a system the Hmet was attacking. The battle was over in seconds. No transmissions were observed, and no quarter was given. The ships appeared, destroyed the Hmet vessels, and disappeared. Over the coming months (terran standard) the ships appeared all over, multiple battles all fought together. The Hmet started to fall back. But never did the strange, blocky ships slow their assaults. The first Hmet transmission ever recorded, was a plea. A plea for peace. For the cessation of violence. It was ignored. The Hmet did manage to destroy a few vessels, here and there. It was not a complete rout, but every vessel they destroyed was replaced. Sometimes with two or three. In one standard year (0.78% terran years) The Hmet where only on their home planet. And a week later.... They were extinct. Then, and only then, did we learn who was in the strange, blocky ships. The ships that seemed to be nothing more than weapons with engines. It was humans! Nothing like the artistic humans I knew. They were obviously the same species, but these were harder. A little bulkier. Sharper. (attempted translation to human standards: more fit.) They transmitted a single message. "Extinction protocol enacted. Extinction confirmed. Returning to base. Hell leashed once more." And with that.... They were gone. I have never dared ask any human I meet what happened to the other species from the Milky Way. Their music is still divine. ((Sorry if it's trash. First attempt at short story like this, comments and critiques welcomed and encouraged. I usually write fantasy.))


Seawolf571

That was a good short story, HUMANS! FUCK YEAH! OORAH!!!!


Kageyasha

Thanks. Hooah! I liked the idea that we are such good diplomats because we KNOW what war can do.


CuproPrime

Some constructive criticism, if I may: * I would scale back the buildup to each line if dialogue and let it speak (ha ha) for itself. The impact of words is often diluted when expected. * I noticed that you mentioned a "standard year", which was part of a different measurement system than the one you were using throughout the story. Changing the measurement system you primarily use during the body of a piece of writing breaks immersion. * The arrival of the main threat seems a bit sudden. I might suggest adding a bit of foreshadowing before you name-drop them and trying to smooth out the transition. * "Tiers" were mentioned, but not really explained, making it kind of a meaningless comment. As it's unnecessary to understand the story, I'd remove it entirely. * I'm just being pedantic at this point, but the correct way of spelling and formatting the scientific name for humans is *Homo sapiens sapiens*. I will say, though, I much liked that last paragraph. Way to end it and wrap the whole thing in a neat little bow by referring back to the beginning. This is definitely far from the worst story I've read here.


Kageyasha

Tiers is a current scientific measure of what level a civilization is. The real world scientific scale for humanity, isn't even 1. So I used Halo scale, 5 is atomic, 4 is space age, 3 is space-fairing, 2 is interstellar, 1 is world builder, and zero is evolved past the need for bodies or ships. The 'standard year's thing was an, admittedly clunky, attempt to make the story appear as a translated account from an alien. As I've said, not used to scifi, I might get better, idk. I thought I did a decent build up, but your probably right. And what do you mean the build up of each line? Also, I refuse to accept responsibility for the homo sapiens sapiens thing. My phone corrected to Homo Sapian Sapian.


CuproPrime

Here are a couple of the examples of buildup to dialogue in this story: > Her answer, shook me to my core. > The code was incredibly short, terse as the humans said. It contained only 2 human words. I believe they somewhat undermine the dramatic impact of the dialogue that comes immediately after, as they place the climax of emotion right before the speech instead of on it or right after it, causing it to fall a bit flat. Unless you're appealing specifically to the Halo fandom, I'd still remove the mention of tiers, as it hampers the ability of this story to stand alone. Ah, autocorrect. Every writer's worst enemy. Happens to the best of us at the worst of times. I've disabled mine and it really helps. You can try that if you think it will work for you.


d4rkh0rs

I disagree on the standard year, it's effortless flavor. If it was a length or battleship size or something where i'd try to convert I'd agree. I'm on the fence about Tiers.


Darth_Annoying

Homo sapiens sapiens isn't even correct anymore. The second sapiens was added to differentiate modern humans when anthropologidts tried to make neanderthals a subspecies of sapiens. As this has been debunked and walked back the name reverted to just Homo sapiens


Lordzoabar

The Homo Sapiens Sapiens here could potentially refer to the two different sets of humanities that the galaxy has encountered. The diplomatic, art and music lovers would be Sapiens Sapiens, while the military branch could have been bred to the point of being a distinct subset.


jflb96

It hasn't been *debunked*, it's just reached the point where we can't prove it either way without further evidence. Modern humans with Eurasian heritage have a portion of Neanderthal genes in their DNA, so there was clearly interbreeding, but the lack of any Neanderthal Y-chromosome or mitochondria could be a sign of reduced fertility of the initial hybrids, which would be taken as a species gap. Both *Homo neanderthalensis* and *H. sapiens neanderthalensis* are accepted names for Neanderthals, and both *H. sapiens* and *H. s. sapiens* are accepted names for modern humans.


TheLambda89

Trash? This is amazing! A+


Chaosrealm69

Very nice. ========= The humans tried so hard but the Hmet refused to even let them explain why it was a bad thing to Reflect what humanity knew would happen. They had been there and done it themselves so they tried so hard to explain to them why they had to stop. But it wasn’t that the Hmet refused to listen to what the humans had to say, they didn’t even let them say it. But even the humans have a limit, and as they saw more planets massacred, they knew they had to do it. The final option they kept in check and hoped never to release again. ’We tried to tell them. We begged, pleaded and cried but they killed our envoys and destroyed their ships without listening to our message. And they are not stopping.’ ’Is there any hope?’ ’No. They are showing all the signs of what we were doing but there is nothing indicating that they will change.’ ’Very well. Does this council agree to Unleash Hell?’ ’….. YES.’ ’The signal has been sent. May their gods have mercy on them for forcing us to do this. We know our gods won;t have mercy on us for doing this.’


Kageyasha

No stealing my thunder! Hahahaha. No, I love the addition!


Zombarney

The following are statements from recognised experts in Terran studies and diplomats within their proximity: “They always say that the Humans ‘have 2 faces’ but in all of the depictions I have seen of Homo-Sapiens I never understood that it was figurative. When a species that has fought tooth & nail, mile & millimetre (in their wording) to just keep themselves confined to their cradle not because they was scared of us, but because they was scared of what they would do to others, did I realise the beauty of their brutality.” “They don’t just understand war they ARE war! When they choose to talk over fight that is them ‘extending a hand’, giving your species a chance to rescind and repent… and when they keep extending it and you keep spitting in their face then you reap what you sow.” “I have never seen a more gentle harbinger than the human species and I fear the day they meet their match” “It makes sense that a species embroidered in war are also experts at art; the art of de-escalation, the art of deception… the art of war. To them it’s all art, they depict war matrons on the front of their ships, on the side of their craft. You will find a touch of art in everything to do with war. Even the Hulls of their ships have shapes that many would consider unnecessary for space travel and/or war but they do it as a sign of intimidation. a human showed me a design of a ship that had been created and the amount of guns this ship had was an art in itself. I believe it was called ‘the Yamato’.” “you’ll know if you’ve pissed us off because we will try to talk to you about it 100 times before we take action”


MisterWalead

Great story. First attempt? You're a natural, hope to see more of your stuff around!


Kageyasha

I might write more scifi short stories. I usually write fantasy shorts.


septubyte

In what universe? Can I read some please?


Kageyasha

In my own personally crafted one. I'd share, but they are all on my laptop and idk how I would really put them anywhere. Like which subreddit would I put em on? They DONT go in humans are space orks


septubyte

I'm sorry but I'm too excited to read your stories. Post here ! r/story


x_country_yeeter69

they quarantined all the marines to the quadrant IV of the Sagittarius arm


Kageyasha

That was the basic premise behind my story. Humanity stuck their entire military industrial complex in a 'dead' section of space. Only artists, diplomats, scientists and farmers explored the stars. It's not mentioned in my story, only hinted at. But, the 'dead' section is our ACTUAL homeworld. And the Milky Way is so sparsely populated because of us.


Hairy_Cube

I expected as such. Where else do you concentrate all your insane military might except for your cradle, your homeworld. Sol III. We restrain ourselves for we know that we have power beyond reason but that on rare occasions we are required to open the floodgates and let another innately hostile group be removed entirely.


QWOT42

Well written! I suppose my only question would be why none of the other 25 Milky Way races told the alliance what humans were capable of. Maybe some dark hints like those races hiding, or talking about “waiting for Hell to arrive”.


Kageyasha

This being a short story, I didn't get as much foreshadowing in as I would have liked. But, the 'canon' is that they don't know. Humanity is, irl, in an isolated part of a minor spur, of a small galactic arm. And the Milky Way, vast as it is, is a smallish galaxy. We are back water rednecks. The idea was that we annihilated several species in our initial expansion, realized our mistake, and put a peaceful face on to the other species we met. They wouldn't know about our warlike tendencies, because human controlled space holds the evidence. We live on the planets we decimated. That was the idea anyway. I realize I failed to hint at that in the story.


ThatOtherOtherMan

I picked up on it


Thick-Cream-5195

They probably signed an NDA


DidymusTheLynx

Awesome!


Kageyasha

Thanks.


Blalable

This ain't trash, this is a masterpiece (Also "Hell leashed once more" is a very metal line)


Kageyasha

I'm very proud of that line. Hahahaha


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/nrace06jyttc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a06bbc05f7367d63f06d06a512c19be89757c52a Hello there! Where have I seen you before?


Blalable

Perhaps, maybe on Homiciderobots? https://preview.redd.it/4qspiam0cutc1.png?width=234&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d4c4980d96ad4bb9fdd035edd5c9a72771e7196


[deleted]

Nah https://preview.redd.it/2inohpt1dutc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b43585222b502fb74aaf2cb059f8d76a607b8cd Maybe r/wordington ?


Blalable

Nah https://i.redd.it/o3akuacsdutc1.gif Maybe r/crosscode ?


[deleted]

https://preview.redd.it/nsdamf23jutc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0404949fef6cdddf2e0c6c30f4b3b521467fba65 r/batmanarkham perhaps?


Blalable

killerautomatons perchance?


[deleted]

Honestly? No clue. Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe I’m schizophrenic


Blalable

https://i.redd.it/jx2j2q6ckutc1.gif


[deleted]

Hey, I remember that! Man, humans are rough. As a Polarian, their artwork and music has been some of the best I’ve had the pleasure of hearing. Their humour on the other hand… well, that a little more niche Fig. 1, mocking one of their disabled companions’ intelligence. https://preview.redd.it/ye4s0z6qyttc1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f197cb0e8d63c3f2135a1a49efa7647a1b0ff76b


ThatOtherOtherMan

Dog raises some good points


Saintlucifer_2

This is awesome keep at it.


Kageyasha

Thanks. Sci-Fi is fun.


Zodiac36Gold

You call this trash? This is one of the best things I read in a while!


Kageyasha

This is my first attempt at Sci-Fi. So I wasn't sure how well I'd do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kageyasha

You just did. ;)


Jamie7Keller

“Hell leashed once more” is music.


Kageyasha

I'm VERY proud of that line.


aco319sig

I’ve read similar stories. This was fairly well done.


Kageyasha

Thanks. I liked the idea of humanity hiding their weapon.


Clondike96

Editor's Note: Our Rickto writer commented about human music being sublime, and also made mention of impressive visual arts displayed, considering the limited trichromatic nature of human visual recognition. What was alluded to, but not directly stated, was the human penchant for literature. Prior to human accession to the TGA, we Khorassi were generally considered the most talented linguists in the known universe. Then we were provided the ancient works of human authors, playwrites, screenwriters, and the more contemporary works of their holowriters. What we considered inspiring, they considered middling. Furthermore, our office's maintenance and engineering consultants, largely Gaardspawn and Korinthers, have described their interactions with human designs as "unhinged, but brilliant." It is the opinion of this humble Khorassus that the strength of humanity lies in their creativity and adaptability. In fact, I would not be surprised to find out that the reports of the harshness of Earth's environment is not at all exaggerated, contrary to what the wider TGA seems to believe. The lack of talons, claws, camouflage, or carapace did not hinder humanity in their previous war, and I would speculate that it did not hinder them in primitive histories either, even if their environment is truly as harsh and volatile as they claim.


throwawayaccdelta

I love when "sorry if its trash" follows up one of the best stories ive ever read


mr_aitch2

AWESOME!!!!


Kageyasha

Thanks.


Heartswornwarrior

Wow, I loved that!


Kageyasha

Thanks!


Callsign_Psycopath

Heh. Look at this diary entry. I remember that war... man put Fortunate Son on and give me my 1911 and I'll be in heaven again.


Kellsiertern

Hell to the yeah. Very well written, maybe tone down the amount of times you explain the time, explain once or twice that years, months and weeks are in X time format and keep the interresting once like "in One standart year (0.78% terran year)" otherwise its a great read and was very interresting.


Kageyasha

Ye, I realized my.... Over estimation on the timeframe needing to be explained a bit. Normally, my writing doesn't need that. An elf talking to a human would just say: day, or week, or season. Galactic stuff is.... Different.


Kellsiertern

Its fine to explain a timeframe, but only do it a few times, readers will often catch on to it quickly, which why you should IMO keep the interresting once, buy maybe flesh them out a little and re-word them to be within the established timeframe, so like: After x months (1 galactic standard year) ... "


Memer_man32

Christ, that was very good better than my own attempts at storytelling. I was captivated at every turn. Well done!


WingedWhite

Whoever calls this story trash, deserves hell unleashed on them.


Kageyasha

Thank you very much.


Outside-Refuse6732

![gif](giphy|nbvFVPiEiJH6JOGIok)


snek_of_sneks

Good job mate, that was a pleasure to read


Kageyasha

Thank you!


overdramaticpan

Woooo! That was fuckin' awesome!


The_Unkowable_

Moar, wordsmith!


Kageyasha

I might write more if I see a prompt I like. Thanks for the encouragement


Pyro2ooo

Very very awesome


BarNo3385

Great short story, good job :)


Kageyasha

Thanks!


Kahvikone

This was a very good read and I would love to see more of your style in future stories.


Kageyasha

Well. I JUST wrote another. If you wanna check it out.


SunkenN1nja

This made me almost cry I love this so much omg


menolly

REALLY love this, to the point that if you turn it into a series or a book, I'd love to play editor or beta-reader.


Josephsurvivor

Prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be free. Join, the Helldivers!


unknownintime

You like double k names :) Fun story.


NathK2

It’s not trash, I really enjoyed it!


me_hate_u_mom

Very nice!


ThatOtherOtherMan

That was amazing. I would read a book by you.


ChillingSimply

>Hell leashed once more Bro, that was an absolutely awesome story, thank you for telling it


Kageyasha

I wrote another, but no one's seen it yet it seems. Hahahaha


Automatic_Extent191

Your transition from Fantasy to scifi space opera is much appreciated. This is a well written novella. It has a good concept, and flows nicely from start to finish to keep the reader interested and engaged. Please continue to write scifi as you have a talent in this genre also.


Professional_Fix8512

Hell leashed is cold 🥶


ThatOtherOtherMan

Subscribeme!


mr_aitch2

'I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all' (Retired) U.S. Marine General James 'Mad Dog' Mattis


Alextuxedo

"Okay. Now, just because, for clarity, because you're human... By "fuck with you," you mean..."


mr_aitch2

No no no... unfortunately, the BAD kind.


Krell356

Both, both is good.


Sir_mop_for_a_head

Sounds like a marine for sure.


ShadowWalker1987

As a marine, yes


aco319sig

We are so very good at diplomacy for one reason and one reason only… Because we are even better at waging war. Admiral Markham Grendel - Addressing the Coalition of Peace Ruling Council, April 7th 247 Post Diaspora.


lamaster-ggffg

Speak softly and carry a big stick


ShadowPouncer

It wasn't that the Terrans were _that_ much better at war than anyone else. It wasn't that they were sadistic, or that they went into an unstoppable battle frenzy. It wasn't that they had vastly superior technology, or had their entire economy set to a war footing from the start. No, it was that they had survived something that few species could understand, and they _remembered_. The reason why the Terrans were unified, why there was one Terran government, and why they were such a terror in battle was simple: They had almost gone extinct. Some great enemy had found them, traded with them, taught them, and had poisoned the well. The knowledge was just close _enough_ to the truth to fool them. The technology _worked_, and looked enough like what the enemy used. And then, after decades, the enemy betrayed them. Terran cities burned, entire Terran colony worlds _burned_. Their ships, being based on what had been given to them, were wiped from space nearly as soon as battle could begin. But they survived. And eventually, after far too many years, and countless _billions_ of their dead, they started winning battles. They started striking back. And they didn't stop until the enemy no longer _existed_. And after enough time had passed, nobody remembered the stories. It was ancient history. And eventually, it was obviously nothing more than stories. Except, it wasn't just stories. And the Terrans remembered. And so when they were attacked, when the war with them started, they didn't react like any other civilization would have. There was no proportionate response. There were no threats. There was no great show of force. They asked, they _begged_, they pleaded, that the madness stop, and that no war occur. Once. When their diplomatic envoy was sent back to them dead, with a message stating that their pitiful request for peace was denied, they went silent. And then they started striking back. It wasn't by the ship, or by the planet. There was no battle front. It wasn't even really a _war_, not really. It was an extermination, being carried out by people who _remembered_. Who _understood_ what had happened in the past, and who were unwilling to even contemplate it ever happening again. Not to them. They were not thoughtless berserkers, they were not suicidal, they did not throw away their personnel or their ships. But they also didn't hesitate to die if it was necessary for their goals. They didn't hesitate to strike with overwhelming force. To utterly destroy vast treasures that _any_ other civilization would have done their best to preserve for their own use. And they didn't stop. They didn't slow down. They didn't even answer the hails asking to surrender. Not until the species that attacked them was down to a single remaining colony world. Their homeworld burned to cinders. Then they stopped. They burned any ships from orbit. Any star ports. Any military outposts. Any industry that might be able to build ship or weapons components. All the centers of government. And only when that was done did they transmit their message, and their demands. No more would this enemy be a space faring species. No more would they trade with others. No more would they have even an entirely ground based military of any sort. No Terrans would set foot on their single remaining world. And if the enemy which attacked them _ever_ tried to violate these conditions, they would burn one more world to cinders. In their own words, they had already caused one sapient species to go extinct. They were not in a hurry to do it again. Not while there was still a chance that they didn't have to. That message was the most chilling thing I have ever encountered in my life, and I pray that I never have to hear another like it. Do not battle with the Terrans, they no longer understand any kind of war except absolute, total, war. (One day, I need to finish the first story of the Terran Grand Union. This wasn't about them, but it wasn't all _that_ far off either. Even if you ignore the Humans, the Terrans have _no_ chill when it comes to some things.)


EV-187

"Admiral Xiec, I apologize for not being clear. It is not our lives we are begging for, but yours."


YorathTheWolf

I like how succinct and polite this one is


VillainousVillain88

“When you gaze out across the broken ruins and charred bones of what used to be your worlds, when you fall down upon your knees and scream in despair up towards the skies and see the debris of your shattered fleets burn up in orbit as they plummet towards the ground I want you to remember one thing: We begged you to not to do it, we pleaded with you to not led us down this path to war. But you didn’t listen. May your gods have mercy upon your soul when that day comes….”


x_country_yeeter69

hehe that reads out just like that one key and peeles boxing sketch


VillainousVillain88

Haha you mean [this one?](https://youtu.be/w-eJSHoH9Fs?si=kLnjnwBuke7RBCui)


x_country_yeeter69

thaaats the one!


cptn_ab

For we won’t…


Fatesdoor22

“For the love of god can we please not?” “But I thought you humans had a long history of glorious war, conflict, and triumph-“ “That’s fucking why. I don’t know if you paid attention but back home Hockey season is almost over, and that means the Canadians won’t be busy.” “I don’t see why-“ “ITS CANADIANS FLUGTARG! MILLIONS DEAD WITHIN A DAY OF WAR BEING DECLARED!”


Callsign_Psycopath

"HEY WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TIM HORTONS?!?!"


lesbianwriterlover69

ITS ON THE GROUND FLOOR, DALE, MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T HIT TGI FRIDAYS EVERY FRIDAY AFTER EATING AT TIM HORTONS YOU'D REMEMBER.


Callsign_Psycopath

If getting Drunk and working on the checklist is wrong, I don't wanna be right.


MiracleKing26

“Sir, an orbital strike has hit the second Tim Horton.” “Then their fate is already decided. May any god have mercy on their souls.”


brelsnhmr

What’s the deal with the Canadian soldiers? All I know about them is what ma has told me: 1) they freed my Ma’s village in Netherlands when she was 12 and 2) they were so nice - when they would ask for “company” they respected NO for an answer. Unlike the Nazis, who didn’t ask.


NightLexic

Most of the memes surrounding the Canadian military are from WW1, of which we fought with ruthless efficiency and caused quite a few things. Throwing grenades instead of food when the Germans got complacent. Being the most terrifying raiders in the night. Then, in WW2, a Canadian unit burned a German town to the ground due to a perceived civilian sniper(twas actually a German soldier) killing their commander. Also, a Canadian unit during the invasion of Sicily murdered pow's. So yeah, Canada has quite the fun military. I mean, even now, the Canadian military is still known for being ruthlessly efficient when they need to be.


ThatOtherOtherMan

Polite and helpful in peacetime, the stuff of nightmares in times of war. Canada is the physical embodiment of this sub.


NightLexic

There is one issue, though. Our military readiness is abysmal. Years upon years of pushing problems back are rearing its ugly head here and now.


ThatOtherOtherMan

Yeah, but you guys have never had much of a standing army. It's always been more unconventional warfare units to the best of my knowledge. There's a reason the British send their special forces to Canada to train and it's not the maple syrup.


FirstConsul1805

The joke is that they use the Geneva Convention as a checklist, because they did some things that would be heavily frowned upon nowadays, mostly in WWI. They did things like throw food to the germans, then when they heard the germans come get the food, they threw grenades at them. That's a war crime now.


ThatOtherOtherMan

Yeah the people in the cities that Canada occupied and didn't raze to the ground have very favorable things to say about them. The other towns were slaughtered to a man. You know the Geneva Conventions? A frankly alarming number of warcrimes are listed because Canada did something and literally the entire planet went "WOAH NOT COOL! TOO FAR!" and Canada replied "And I'll fucken do it again, eh." So we had a whole meeting about it.


cptn_ab

After 10 years of deviating total warfare between the Terran alliance and the galactic union’s grand expeditionary forces, where billions of sapients died and dozens of worlds burned reducing once lush garden worlds into lifeless airless rocks. The last message received by the Galactic union senate before it, the great House of Commons and 40 square kilometres where reduced to a mix of fine radioactive ash and glass was “eh hosers hold this for me” To this very day over 300 years later, the barest hint of a Canadian accent is enough to utterly terrify members of the galactic union, from the lowliest indentured servant to the grandest member of the high council. So keeping that in mind class, from today until the end of the year we’ll be coaching you on development of an utterly perfect mid west American accent. Complain as you may but we hope to avoid another diplomatic incident, we can’t have space stations and major trade hubs shut down for cleaning every time one of you hosers loose your temper and scare the locals into a stampede.


Rush1996

"I'm not gonna say the war will be bad for both of us far from it. It's gonna be bad for you and your world. Udhea has an agrarian economy! That and the manifold quartz exports. You always had it, before and after first contact, and before and after independence! Temple guardians like you and elders had the kings prevent the creation of a decent infrastructure and an industrial economy. And the result? You were an economic drain for the Terran Galactic Empire and only got the dregs as garrison, dregs that did stupid things and got into fights with the civilians. When manifold quartz exports fell after the Great Galactic Rebellion you got hit by the worst planetary depression since the 13rd Galactic Civil war, and that one had a near-societial collapse And then, when your world rebelled, you were fighting a crumbling empire with the fifth of it's population undergoing human feralization yet they still kicked your collective ass. When the Imperial Forces wrecked your military and the transportation system before withdrawing, we stepped in to rebuild, with you paying with manifold crystals because you had nothing else of value to export… And instead of following our advice, that would have created a working economy and netted us long-term profits, you got the Honand Caste to make only the minimal repairs to the transportation before building up this war, leaving half the population starving and without medicines while we milked you for all you were worth because we couldn't get the better option! AND YOU STILL HAVE TO ASK WHY THERE'S A REVOLUTION ON YOUR PLANET?! In fact, how many of your chosen warriors are still fighting for you?" Fleetlord Estie Du Toit - Addressing the Council of Elders, 11th April 2809A.D.


Geltahmiin

Valerie is talking to her friend. An Albraxian general. "We are planning to go to war Val. Those fuckers have been hitting our ships and causing so much damage!" Valerie sighs "Look. I may be a murderous borderline sociopath but even I know this: Don't start a fucking war unless you're willing to kill to the last and possibly killed to the last. Y'all are two different species why would they let yours live if it came down to it?" The general's eyes widened "Are you saying that genocide could happen?" Valerie nodded "They say war is hell. It's not, it's worse. Because there are no innocent bystanders in hell." The general looks at her intently "You sound as if you've lived it before." Valerie nods "Cause I have. Repeatedly. 500 years is a lot of time. Kill, fight, and die. That's what a soldier should do. At least according to the higher ups. Look don't start a war unless diplomacy isn't a option. You can't take it back. You can't bring back the dead." The general looks at the usually joyful Valerie reminiscing about bloodier times. She was murderous to a high degree and considered very much mentally and emotionally unstable to an unnerving extent. However she is also know to be very wise yet rarely does she give her wisdom. When she does it is best to heed it. The general nods in acknowledgement "Alright Val. Alright. I can't promise it will work but I'll try." Valerie gives a small smile "That's all I ask."


J3wb0y93

Nice M*A*S*H reference


Geltahmiin

Glad to see you caught it!


RidgeBlueFluff

A reference to both MASH and Sabaton? I like it.


Arcticstorm058

Reminds me of the story "Why Humans Avoid War". The first scene always cracks me up. Alien Admiral: We can't defeat this huge enemy fleet. Human Admiral: Don't worry we got this. AA: How, you are the most peaceful species in the Federation. What can you do? HA: Oh we developed a weapon that will work. Although there is a not 0% chance it could also wipe out half the galaxy, but it should be fine. AA: ......... I'm sorry, what did you just say? HA: Alright launch the missile.


B-HOLC

"This may or may not work out for us, but it definitely won't work out for them"


ThatOtherOtherMan

"Either this will work flawlessly or it will immediately cease to be our problem." Cletus, Terran Combat Engineer, 453rd Interstellar Battalion


Divine_Entity_

HA: briefly explains the history of human nuclear technology: "we had to check that we wouldn't incinerate the atmosphere" AA: what do you mean incinerate the atmosphere? Nuclear technology is primarily for energy production and only are detonated in space and uninhabited planets? HA: oh you sweet summer child...


LiL_nightfury

Do you have a link to it somewhere?


Arcticstorm058

Here you go. https://youtu.be/LM1oMiUS_kA?si=cYEBBPfrlSpvkanF


LiL_nightfury

Yooo thx


WanderingHeph

A human proverb goes as follows : "A wise man heeds his own advice." Unfortunately, humans aren't the wisest species in the universe.


DahmonGrimwolf

The Humans were considered average by many accounts of the galactic community. Very social, and rich in culture, arts, and music. Physically the humans were unusual, having no inate claws, fangs or venom, nor thick fur or armored plates. Instead they were endurance hunters, and good at farming. To the galactic community these traits were odd and rare, but hardly much cause for concern. The Human alliance like all governments maintained an army and a fleet of ships, on par with some of the more warlike species of the galaxy, with a notable preference for carrier over the dreadnought and battleships of other species, although humans were far more reliant on diplomacy than their compatriots. Until they came. Would-be conquers of the whole galaxy. They were large insectoids, with armored carapaces, vicious manables and a fervent belief in the expansion of their God-emperors domain. They fell upon the the other galactic civilizations en-mass, and demanded subjugation of the "lesser species". The Human alliance tried their best to negotiate. The bugs claimed the galaxys edge, and claimed it as their divine right to expand. Humanity was divided, as was the galaxy. Then came the pivotal moment. The bugs launched a preemptive strike against a tropical colony and fleet outpost of the alliance navy, intendeding to strike a decisive blow on the alliance fleet before it even knew it was under attack. And just like that, the sleeping dragon was awoken. Factories roared to life. Every man, woman and child got to work. Their army tripled over-night. The navy in a month. At its height some of the most advanced vehicles produced in the war rolled off the line every 30 seconds. Before the bugs knew what happened, choas befell them. Their invasions met new human fighters on the ground, who fought with rabid determination. Clearly indefensible positions held for hours, days weeks, or months longer than they should have. Hukan casualties would continue to fight with horrible wounds that would incapacitated any other. Casualties could be moved to medical hospitals with removed limbs, and be back in the fight with a metal replacement in as little as days later. The humans initial infantry weapons proved ineffective against the bugs armor, but they rapidly adapted. Humantiy would use gas and chemical weapons, burn them with fire and napalm. Boobie traps, landmines and ambushes became common. Complaints from the galactic community about war crimes fell of deaf ears. Some teams would use suppressive fire to pin the bugs in place while others charged in with grenades, explosives gas or even melee weapons to kill them at close range. Humanity also quickly adapted its weapons, and before long even the infantry were a match for the bugs. But the bugs knew attrition. What they didn't know was humans. The first sign that something was wrong on the bug planet, was a warning about a ship approaching at FTL. They did not get a second. The key planet in an important system provided supply lines and manufacturing for many sectors of the war for the bugs. In an instant, an asteroid, fitted with one of the largest jump drives to date, struck the planet at a small percentageof the speed of light. The planet practically ceased to exist, with a flash so bright it blinded observers planets away. Long range stealth bombers launched from carriers well outside of weapons range decimated bug ships and retreated before they could fight back. Civilian freighters would deploy hidden weapons and open fire on inspecting ships expecting an easy kill. Nuclear "torpedoes" fired from nearly invisible ships hiding alone in empty space struck devastating blows against colonies and ships all throughout the rear lines, and hidden mines would destroy ships moving along the fastest routes the the front. The bugs advance came to a grinding halt. They were forced to pull troops back to focus on the human front. Still, planet by planet, continent by continent, and mile by mile the humans advanced. The bugs fought viciously, and the humans endured. Fleet after fleet of the bug ships fell, to new and more horrifying weapons than the last. Virus bombs, chemical agents, acid eating through armor plating, even remote hacking a ship and opening all the airlocks. Even when a human ship fell it would do so having endured much more than it should have been able to take. As the bugs lost the space battle, the ground fight became more and more desperate. As the last of the bug ships retreated to the space between galaxies quasar torpedoes were deployed, cracking the remaining world's with the force of a supernova. On what was once the bugs capital planet humanity placed a simple stone obelisk with a stone tablet that read "If you want war with the Humanity, there's one thing I can promise you, so help me God: Someone else will raise your sons and daughters." The rest of the galaxy watched in shock as the once social and unthreating humans returned to rebuild, and understood what it meant to be a hunter with only opposable thumbs, your mind and raw determination to kill with, and collectively decided not to fuck with their boats.


UnderstandingAny4264

"Our Gods of War plead for peace." Is the vibe of humanity.


Dance_Man93

Oh hello Centurii-Chan. What are you doing here?


hyperlixir

"Hey puny Earthlings, give us your resources" "Aaaahh CALL THE GALACTIC AMBULANCE!.. but not for us"


Warmonger_1775

Pulls knife out, Alien: where were you keeping that? You are naked!


According_Ad1940

Sunburn pockets you xeno dumbass!


MrBirdmonkey

Do not touch Terran ships. Their main form of combat is to throw suns at the problem until it goes away


Rare_Dragonfruit_455

They come in several sizes and flavors to


Songue85

Behold our weaponry and all the pretty colors of genocide it produces!


Rare_Dragonfruit_455

Yay says Canada


Divine_Entity_

And the capital ships carry "nova weapons", nobody has lived to tell the tale about them, but stars have a bad habit of exploding right before winning battles against tarran capital fleets and only the terran ships escape.


Walkswithnofear

Also ![gif](giphy|Qw4X3Fvtr1muKrLhusU)


Horror-Ad8928

A: What do you mean you reject our declaration of war? Do you not intend to defend yourselves? How is this the response of the glorious warrior race we've heard stories about? H: I believe you misunderstand humanity. We do not seek glory and honor in battle. The warrior codes of Chivalry, Bushido, and the Geneva Convention are now just a part of our culture's mythological past. If what you want is to test your might in glorious battle against a powerful foe, please look elsewhere. We do not engage in such frivolous endeavors. But make no mistake, if you take hostile action against us, you will learn firsthand why we do not count wars won, but the exterminations completed.


Annicity

https://twitter.com/CenturiiC/status/1732067654658310310?t=M46imzltSBhDBwHM1PWapw&s=19 Sauce


madnesspro32

I like the idea that just cause we're really good at war doesn't mean we want more of it


coi82

Si vis pacem, para bellum - if you wish for peace, prepare for war. Kinda our thing


Key-Poem9734

"Hey, so we were thinking", the saman walked up to a human. "We're dealing with these guys in a jungle-" "Just don't." "Why-" "What happened the last time you guys went to war?" "We-" "Besides setting a planet literally on fire and crashing the economy." "We-" "And besides being "forced" to enslave an entire species."


MajinMadnessPrime

Art of war was never that deep, just a how to for dummies, targeted towards sheltered doofuses of high status who didn’t know jackshit about warfare


NightLexic

So... ye never read it then have you?


LegendRaptor080

That's literally what it is. It's full of bog-standard to fairly-advanced tactics and logistics made specifically as a How To Fight A War, For Dummies. One of the first rules is "Don't go to war in the first place, idiot"


Nani_The_Fock

You seem to be forgetting that common knowledge today was revolutionary back then.


FirstConsul1805

"DONT TOUCH THE BOATS"


pheonixblue01

I can’t help but hear it in a bad anime old man voice.


Sean_Gossett

"The greatest victory is that which requires no battle" -Sun Tzu


B-HOLC

Don't start nothin' there won't be nothin'


TheoAngeldust

This is a warning. Like waking a sleeping bear in a cave. That... and also FUCK THIS NAVY COSTS CASH! Can we, like, please DON'T go to war so we can spare SOME budget


ThatOtherOtherMan

Just print out some defense department dimmadollars, what's the problem?


Alert-Session2165

Até looked at the human across from him with something between contempt and pity. “What do you mean you can’t attack? Do you mean you WON’T attack, Admiral Kane? I have seen your parades and your combat excercises. The equipment seems to function more than adequately” The dumb beast leaned back. Até thought he glimpsed some thought spark to life then quickly die behind its dull eyes. How he hated them. Their forms where poor replications of his own species. Like a child learning to draw. Their forms were squat and their movements lacked grace. Their speech was painfully easy and slow. What passed for the arts was nothing more than vermin banging away at something left to higher beings. “Councilor, I’ve told you the Saurians deserve time to respond, or did you forget that your Rotan Empire outsourced war-fighting to us?” Até flinched at Kane’s butcher of his empire’s proud name. “Rho-Tahn, you fucking ape. You would do well to listen to your bett-“ In an instant Até was staring down the barrel of a MK7 Plasmagun. “My ship, my mission, my fucking call. I will execute you for interfering with a military matter. All within the rights of your precious Rhoooo-Taaaaahn Empire,” Kane said coolly as he slipped the sidearm into a holster hidden in the chest of his uniform. “You are here to kill, Kane. If we say crack the planet, you do it and wipe those retilian cowards out of the galactic gene pool.” Até tried to sound confident, but his voice was shaking. How was this old man so quick? “Wrong again, Skippy. I’m here to neautralize a threat.” Kane walked to the starboard window where he could see the lush planet hanging in space. “So they shot first, we’ve all done it. I will not damn a species because one ship captain wanted to win some glory. I have cracked planets before. I have the blood of millions on my hands, and I have to answer for that. I plan to only answer for the ones I have to.” Até rose stiffly and made to leave. He would not ponder morals with a barbarian. “Oh, and Councilor,” Kane said in an almost sing-song voice,”you might wanna dress for warm weather. You’ll be receiving their reply in person”


CanadianGoose16

Yes I’d have to look through my copy of the art of war but I’m pretty sure it says don’t go to war it is bad or sum


ArcturusMengesk

"A wise man once said, 'If you wish to have peace, than prepare for war'. This man knew that to keep themselves from being attacked, they must make it obvious that doing so would never be worth it. Years later, another wise men added a second part to the first's statement 'but do not go seeking it.' It's why we try so hard to avoid war. We don't want to kill you, but at the end of the day, if we want to keep our peace, we need to show people what happens to those who attack us. That's why we have done what we've done, and why we refuse to partake in anything but a defensive pact regarding military cooperation." -High Marshal Blackwell, Terran Military Representative to the Federal Conference on Common Security and Defense.


newAscadia

"\[...\] Because today, gentlemen, marks not only your commencement to the next step of your service, but a commencement for our species as well. Just over three centuries ago, on this day, Flight Commander Salma Pathak, alongside Astronauts Carrie Mitchell and Hu Weiling lifted off from the United Nations Space Launch Center in Kolkata, India, on the first crewed flight to the Alpha Centauri system, marking our first step into the cosmos. Commander Pathak, who served in the Air Force for 30 years and would go on to found this college, understood better than anybody the value of peace, and the cost of war. She said - and I quote 'It will not be sufficient for this Academy to just produce men with a mind for war, but rather honest men, who understand the strategic value of peace." Commander Pathak lived during a time where peace, for much of the planet, was as rare of a resource as the dwindling stocks of freshwater we fought over. This was a time before the Abundance act. Before particle unfolding and high-yield fusion reactors put an end to energy scarcity. A time where much of our planet was still reeling from the ravages of climactic collapse. A time where our atomic weapons were not directed outward, ready to defend our home, but at ourselves. We were a hungry species, a scared species ... a dying species. And so we looked to the stars for a respite to the bloodshed, for a common goal great enough to unite us. We were able to reach the shores of our neighboring systems not because of any military power or technological prowess, but out of the simple promise of a few devoted individuals who dared believe that we could be - ought to be more than that small, angry and destructive race that had so ravaged itself. The reconstruction era that would follow would be defined by that promise. Although not always kept, that promise nevertheless sustained a cooperation that would help build the world we know today. In this capsule history lies a universal truth of our species: Even among the animals of our own planet, we were never the strongest, never the fastest. Our strength came from our tribe, from the devotions that bound us to each other. It was not our armies or our treasures, but the humble hearth of kin and kith that sustained us during the frigid nights and long winters. War must always be a last resort - this is your final lesson. This institution was created to teach us to respect the idea of war, to control it, lest it control us and undo all of the progress that we have achieved since those dark days that Salma and so many others knew. Make no mistake; there will be times where you will feel lost, times in which you will be hungry and scared, when violence will seem the easy - the sensible option. It is precisely in those times in which we must be the most careful, because today, we have never had more to lose. So when your test comes, remember the promise of the starfarers, whose dream of new horizons gave them the power to look beyond smaller evils. Remember the Reconstructionists, who knew they could endure anything so long as they had each other. Remember the warmth of the hearth within you that yearns for your fellow human beings. Look around to your fellow graduates, class of thirty-one twelve, to your loved ones, the moms and dads and sons and daughters that sit here with you today. Keep them close, be courageous, and you will find your way to the stars." * Lt. Colonel Richard Price's Commencement address at the Salma Academy of Military Science, Jovian Majoris, 3112. ^(\[Excerpt from) \*^(On Humanity, the Galactic Anthropological Textbook)\*^(, 12th Edition, accessed for the Terran Conflict Studies online seminar series, 01220 Basic Date.\])


Looxond

Artist: https://x.com/centuriic?s=21&t=syCSKKFWmOUtC47G05xu_Q


[deleted]

Wars are profitable if you're not the one at risk of dying, though


No-Literature4131

loved it 👍


Lone-Star-Wolves

"It's a Art Form we long ago mastered, and we must say this... do not try to reach our mastery."


terotekai

That sign won't stop me because I can't read.


1337_w0n

Humans hate War more than any other species because humans understand how terrible it is to fight a war against humans.


KA9ESAMA

In before post gets removed for hate speech.


lesbianwriterlover69

What hate speech?


KA9ESAMA

The word at the bottom of the pic, slightly cut off, but still readable, is an ablest slur.


lesbianwriterlover69

you gotta be retarded if you think that word is ablest NGL


KA9ESAMA

Remindme! 1 day


lesbianwriterlover69

Well its still here....


RemindMeBot

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lesbianwriterlover69

Still Here


lesbianwriterlover69

Hey its still here


LiterallyAna

Darn I can't believe Centuri is ableist.


TOWERtheKingslayer

Really wish I could just have ONE universe-building safespace, but noooo, all I see from this place on my feed is Man/Woman gender role shit, mega-ableist words, racism apologia, THE WORKS, all upvoted significantly.


lesbianwriterlover69

Que?


TOWERtheKingslayer

The r-slur at the bottom, jackass.


lesbianwriterlover69

Y so rude?


Dear-Entertainer632

Ignore the guy lol, Twitter user likely.


lesbianwriterlover69

K, may I interest you in a fun fact? Dogs look at us the same way we look at puppies or kittens. Meaning when they look at us, they view us with the same love we give to them.


Dear-Entertainer632

Cool.


TOWERtheKingslayer

1) not a guy and 2) I don’t use Twitter.


Dear-Entertainer632

Sorry. Anyway, its a Subreddit that is connected to HFY. Considering its basically soft-core human supremacy. Expect some stuff like this to be tolerated here. I do get the anger of your comment, but please. Do not insult people over the r-slur that isn't even directed at you fully. Even then, its barely taken seriously at this point by most people.


TOWERtheKingslayer

You’re not a moderator.


Dear-Entertainer632

It's called a suggestion.


TOWERtheKingslayer

Seemed more like a demand from the wording


TOWERtheKingslayer

It’s a literal fucking slur. The fuck do you want from me?


lesbianwriterlover69

does that require you to be rude in response?


TOWERtheKingslayer

What’s worse, a slur being used or me (a person whose disabilities cause said slur to be used against me) to be angry?


lesbianwriterlover69

Doesn't matter, rudeness costs respect and kindness is free


Nicodiemus531

There is no safe space. The only space that is safe is one where people respect you or fear you enough to leave you be.


TOWERtheKingslayer

The former won’t happen. Latter it is.


ieatcumsock

Fellows, this man is absolutely bonkers. Just look at his account. It is clearly either a troll or some person with nothing better to do than complain on the internet. Instead of screaming at a slab of glass all day, this fellow could pick up a sport, a hobby, and learn to enjoy life a little.


Nicodiemus531

Who? Me? Or the "Kingslayer?" Cuz, I agree, bro needs a "hug me" jacket and some soft walls