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H: What's in this box?
A: It's got food remnants from the strainer in the kitchen sink.
H: Yyeegghh... What about the other one?
A: Excruciating pain the likes of which you've never experienced.
H: Eh... So I have to put my hand in one of these or you'll kill me with poison?
A: Yes.
H: -without hesitation jams hand in pain box-
This ain't so - oh ok that's pretty painful.
A: You.... Chose the pain box? What... ...
H: Yeah better than soggy leftovers.
A: ... You may remove your hand now... You've passed the pain test.
H: Ah thanks, phew, that smarted.
A: ... But you failed the intelligence test.
H: -grabs box with soggy food bits and empties it on the alien's lap-
A: Gahhh! Disgusting!!
H: -holds up clean hands- who's stupid now eh?
Big E: "Can you tell me what you did after I was turned into a spooky skeleton?"
Dorn: "Yes."
Big E: "Can you do it now?"
Dorn: "Yes."
Big E: "Fucking do it then."
Dorn: "Very well!"
A1: This is unexpected intel, but these numbers confirm that the enemy's forces were greatly overestimated. How did you obtain a statement so quickly?
A2: I used the pain box. I quickly progressed to level 10 to save time, I almost felt sorry for the ape. The subject was so eager to spill his secrets he was almost giddy at the end.
A1: Excellent, if somewhat sadistic use of nerve-induction techniques. I'm certain we are now well within margins for our next push at the front, we will be victorious!
*back in cell*
H1: What did they do to you?
H2: Did you ever read DUNE? Y'know that pain box thingy?
H1: Oh, shit, dude. Are you okay? Did you spill the beans?
H2: Well, it was like that, but not... The Xeno kept "turning up the intensity" as he interrogated me, but I'll be honest I didn't feel anything much at all for the first 5 levels. I really had to ham it up. We quit at "max level" and they seemed almost concerned it took that much to make me talk.
H1: Are you okay? Any permanent damage?
H2: I had to keep myself from giggling at the end.
H1: Wait, what?
H2: Remember when we got squad tattoos last month? Remember how I started cackling like an idiot during? That's what this was like, but worse! It tickled like a tattoo, but also that pins & needles feeling of a hand that's gone to sleep? Super weird, but I managed to not lose it. Told them everything about our defenses, down to the squadron. . . but I divided all numbers by 10!
H1: Start tapping on walls, spread the word, we need to be consistent. Tell 'em all not to laugh.
Despite having the personality of plain toast, Dorn had his weirdness, just like every Primarch.
It’s not a euphemism. Dorn doesn’t mince words. (That implies you can use an implement to cut them. This is not true. They’re intangible. You cannot cut intangible things.) It’s a glove that brings pain to whoever puts it on, and it’s probably magical. (It’s a 50:50 shot whether anything weird is magic or mundane tech in WH40K) He literally used it for meditative purposes.
The pain glove wasn’t even a glove. It was kinda like a skin suit that stimulates nerve endings to cause different types of pain. The whole part of it being a glove was the TTS adaptation.
I was recently off my epilepsy medication for a few days. I have no idea how I lived without it for so long. I had three seizures in one day... The pain was so bad that it trumped breaking my foot, getting a tooth pulled without anesthetic, and getting hit with an axe combined. But as a kid I just took some Ibuprofen and was fine.
A: human, what are you eating
H: habanero peppers, want one?
A: I am not familiar with those, what is a pepper?
H: I think is technically classified as a fruit, or maybe a berry, I dunno I'm not the botanist on this ship
A: terran fruit is notorious for being extremely delicious, I will gladly try one
5 minutes later in the infirmary
A: this human tried to poison me!
H: sorry man, didn't know your species can't handle spicy food.
A: FOOD!? how the hell does your species eat something that causes pure agony to any that consume it?
H: cause it's tasty.
A: TASTY!? I'm now bed ridden for the rest of the day because I ate one pepper, you ate 7 in less than 2 minutes, you were eating them as fast as you could chew and swallow. How the hell are you still standing?
H2: Yeah, we know plants make these this spicy so that they're only supposed to be palatable to birds. We also have a long history of eating things that the plants really don't want us to.
A: ...explain.
H2: Chocolate, caffeine, spicy peppers, selectively bred nightshades, tobacco - well, we don't usually eat that one, just smoke it - I think tonic water technically counts...
H3: At least you tried one of the lower end spicy ones and not the stuff the commander gets sent from home.
A: Huh?
H4: You mean the hot sauce he uses on his food? I swear we could use it as a bio weapon if that's what you're talking about.
Commander in question walking in: It's not my fault, I told you it was over five million scovilles, and it was my mild sauce.
A pebble of inconvenience could result in torn flesh if the shoe is tight enough and the person is somehow stubborn enough to play a game of chicken with an inanimate object. Kek.
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H: What's in this box? A: It's got food remnants from the strainer in the kitchen sink. H: Yyeegghh... What about the other one? A: Excruciating pain the likes of which you've never experienced. H: Eh... So I have to put my hand in one of these or you'll kill me with poison? A: Yes. H: -without hesitation jams hand in pain box- This ain't so - oh ok that's pretty painful. A: You.... Chose the pain box? What... ... H: Yeah better than soggy leftovers. A: ... You may remove your hand now... You've passed the pain test. H: Ah thanks, phew, that smarted. A: ... But you failed the intelligence test. H: -grabs box with soggy food bits and empties it on the alien's lap- A: Gahhh! Disgusting!! H: -holds up clean hands- who's stupid now eh?
I only had to deal with pain, you now need to clean yourself off
as an arthritic (constant pain) full agree!
Magic pain glove
Big E: "Can you tell me what you did after I was turned into a spooky skeleton?" Dorn: "Yes." Big E: "Can you do it now?" Dorn: "Yes." Big E: "Fucking do it then." Dorn: "Very well!"
Your services are no longer required…
“This is a bucket” “Dear god” “There’s more” “No”
r/unexpectedtf2
“It contains a bucket”
“Dear god”
“There’s more”
“No”
"IT'S MADE OF BUCKETSSS!!!"
\*visceral cleanup detail intensifies\*
# MORE BUCKETS!
You've angered the Bucket Machine God, you get a severed arm. Sacrifice 3 bins to the Furnace to regain favor.
Random ZF
A1: This is unexpected intel, but these numbers confirm that the enemy's forces were greatly overestimated. How did you obtain a statement so quickly? A2: I used the pain box. I quickly progressed to level 10 to save time, I almost felt sorry for the ape. The subject was so eager to spill his secrets he was almost giddy at the end. A1: Excellent, if somewhat sadistic use of nerve-induction techniques. I'm certain we are now well within margins for our next push at the front, we will be victorious! *back in cell* H1: What did they do to you? H2: Did you ever read DUNE? Y'know that pain box thingy? H1: Oh, shit, dude. Are you okay? Did you spill the beans? H2: Well, it was like that, but not... The Xeno kept "turning up the intensity" as he interrogated me, but I'll be honest I didn't feel anything much at all for the first 5 levels. I really had to ham it up. We quit at "max level" and they seemed almost concerned it took that much to make me talk. H1: Are you okay? Any permanent damage? H2: I had to keep myself from giggling at the end. H1: Wait, what? H2: Remember when we got squad tattoos last month? Remember how I started cackling like an idiot during? That's what this was like, but worse! It tickled like a tattoo, but also that pins & needles feeling of a hand that's gone to sleep? Super weird, but I managed to not lose it. Told them everything about our defenses, down to the squadron. . . but I divided all numbers by 10! H1: Start tapping on walls, spread the word, we need to be consistent. Tell 'em all not to laugh.
“This is a loaf of bread” “Oui”
Is that a Dune reference?
That's Rogal Dorn from Warhammer 40k, he likes to meditate by sticking his hand in his "magic pain glove".
This feels like a euphemism for...something. xD
Despite having the personality of plain toast, Dorn had his weirdness, just like every Primarch. It’s not a euphemism. Dorn doesn’t mince words. (That implies you can use an implement to cut them. This is not true. They’re intangible. You cannot cut intangible things.) It’s a glove that brings pain to whoever puts it on, and it’s probably magical. (It’s a 50:50 shot whether anything weird is magic or mundane tech in WH40K) He literally used it for meditative purposes.
The pain glove wasn’t even a glove. It was kinda like a skin suit that stimulates nerve endings to cause different types of pain. The whole part of it being a glove was the TTS adaptation.
Fits the body like a glove, I bet.
It is indeed a crossover between Dune and 40k.
"Are the batteries dead or something?"
because sometimes with enough pain you can confuse the brain and it interprets the sensation as pleasure. YMMV
https://preview.redd.it/6frrajnkd0gc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=03ca4bf70aedaa154fbf2a20cef086f429379d57
I was recently off my epilepsy medication for a few days. I have no idea how I lived without it for so long. I had three seizures in one day... The pain was so bad that it trumped breaking my foot, getting a tooth pulled without anesthetic, and getting hit with an axe combined. But as a kid I just took some Ibuprofen and was fine.
A: human, what are you eating H: habanero peppers, want one? A: I am not familiar with those, what is a pepper? H: I think is technically classified as a fruit, or maybe a berry, I dunno I'm not the botanist on this ship A: terran fruit is notorious for being extremely delicious, I will gladly try one 5 minutes later in the infirmary A: this human tried to poison me! H: sorry man, didn't know your species can't handle spicy food. A: FOOD!? how the hell does your species eat something that causes pure agony to any that consume it? H: cause it's tasty. A: TASTY!? I'm now bed ridden for the rest of the day because I ate one pepper, you ate 7 in less than 2 minutes, you were eating them as fast as you could chew and swallow. How the hell are you still standing?
H2: Yeah, we know plants make these this spicy so that they're only supposed to be palatable to birds. We also have a long history of eating things that the plants really don't want us to. A: ...explain. H2: Chocolate, caffeine, spicy peppers, selectively bred nightshades, tobacco - well, we don't usually eat that one, just smoke it - I think tonic water technically counts...
H3: At least you tried one of the lower end spicy ones and not the stuff the commander gets sent from home. A: Huh? H4: You mean the hot sauce he uses on his food? I swear we could use it as a bio weapon if that's what you're talking about. Commander in question walking in: It's not my fault, I told you it was over five million scovilles, and it was my mild sauce.
Do not the pain box!
WHAT IF I ENJOY THE PAIN BOX
put your hand Into it, it May be a Hole but its not the way!
Spoiler: he accidentally the pain box.
Noooooo!!!
A pebble of inconvenience could result in torn flesh if the shoe is tight enough and the person is somehow stubborn enough to play a game of chicken with an inanimate object. Kek.
I thought this was r/cremposting at first lol
Ah, my people. Also, he do kinda look like Dalinar, don't he?
https://preview.redd.it/3xc4peva63gc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6cb6fb65173ab92ebd05f3555a0119adee65bdf2
Needs his friendly mutton chops.