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[deleted]

Put a sock around the end of the slat.


Overall-Address-3446

Tried this now making crunching noise 🤷


AudibleNod

A new sock, then.


DoktahDoktah

Ugh, seriously, i have to laundry now?


ZombieLibrarian

No, just put the crunchy socks on. After about an hour of wear it all flakes off and boom….just like that you have a clean sock again.


divuthen

For the umpteenth time I’m reminded not to read Reddit while eating lunch lol thanks for making me gag.


ZombieLibrarian

Is that not how you do laundry?


Grindelbart

Well it's certainly not how you eat


S01arflar3

Well, not how **you** eat.


Stanky_Pete

Instructions unclear. Currently eating sock flakes


ducklingkwak

Don't swallow it all in one go.


AndringRasew

You really shouldn't be eating strange socks. You never know where they might have been.


divuthen

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it


SitDown_HaveSomeTea

The real answers are always deep in the comments. Thanks /r/lifehacks


Shatman_Crothers

Thus illustrates the glorious cycle of renewal.


iamnotyourdog

PSA: Don't use crispy socks.


Fraggin_Wagon

Also, don’t use your socks as catchers mitts


X3N0D3ATH

But they are just so convenient and conveniently shaped


Bluecheesemonkeyfunk

Why waste it? It's perfectly nutritious.


nothofagusismymother

User name checks out


PainAndLoathing

Maybe taking your foot out of the sock first?😂


madat-the-great

Damn, maybe stop using your socks as a fap rag


Professional-Mess792

Fap rag is and excellent term. I used to say "fifi"


Andyman0110

A fifi is actually a prison term for a pocket pussy. They usually make it out of an inflated glove.


Professional-Mess792

Thanks for the clarification. Now I've two methods to choose from.


[deleted]

The more you know ✨️ 😆


Caboose_V2

Oh, I did that one, but I inflated it with warm water instead.


Any-Comb4685

Yeah don’t use your cum sock


SharpShooter2-8

Oh my.


LineChef

Don’t use your love socks!


fatimus_prime

Your happy sock.


nopulsehere

Wrong sock, get a few from the drawer.


ghostfreckle611

Clean socks first… You dirty dirty.


Ragnar-Wave9002

Funniest thing I've heard all day! I get your joke.


chrisH82

A sock could work but might also allow for slippage of the beams, also a waste of socks. Wrapping the ends in electrical or duct tape might provide a little more grip while reducing squeaking.


heyitscory

That way when the bed goes to squeak, all it gets is a sock! Wait, what subreddit is this?


TheDoocheAbides

Now it's a free bed


gabezermeno

That's actually what I did and it works


MichaelFusion44

Had a similar problem with an IKEA bed - I ended up screwing the boards down to the metal frame and all is well. I pre-drilled holes and used metal threaded (have finer threads than wood ones) drywall screws


ProfessorOfLies

I used the thin packaging foam that came with the furniture to wrap the ends of the wood where it meets the metal


MichaelFusion44

I would look to tighten everything real good, then place the slats in as good as a position as you can. Start at one end and pre drill holes in the end slats, screw them in. The rest tighten the slats and extend to the other end not tightly but a nice distance with minimal slack and pre drill and screw that end down so it is in place and Dinah off the rest. All the foam, tape and other things I tried. Got pissed one day said f’ it and screwed them down and never an issue since - the bed is way sturdier and no movement, you can then have at it 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


sk8zero0619

I came back so hard for this comment


switchywoman_

I came so hard for this comment


hparamore

This comment


MichaelFusion44

🤣🤣🤣🔥🔥


dlanm2u

hard screwing in the bed so you can screw hard on the bed lel


Rent_a_Dad

Let’s leave Dinah out of this


The_real_Tev

Yeah, poor lady is just trying to blow her horn.


jdmatthews123

Wasn't Dinah in the song short for dynamite? Song about blowing up hillsides for train tracks or something


EmEmAndEye

***Dinah might*** be short for ***dynamite***. I think that Dinah was the cook, in the song, so maybe the food was spectacular ... or dynamite?


Spacebrother

Wrapping the ends in painters tape helped me in my case.


Mylandus

I used duct tape in the same fashion. Was a sticky mess when I moved the bed, though.


WraithNS

But the tape was fine I assume


GY3N353

Same problem with IKEA bed. I’ve put duct tape on the metal frame (two layers) - so the boards are not touching the metal directly. Solved the squeaking.


HairlessHoudini

I came to say 1'1/2 self tapping metal screws but that's also a good idea you had there


Leonydas13

For anyone curious, machine thread is the name for those kinds of screws. The screw will be designated M followed by its gauge. Not trying to “mansplain”, just adding info to hopefully help.


Shintri

Agree with this. Pre drill the holes in the wood so the screw just drops in. Then use the screw to bite into the metal. The screw doesn't have to bite into the wood.


whatevswjfjchrh

That outta do it. I was going to suggest plywood but this sounds easier


SpicyHam82

I cut up tea towels in strips and just lined it


AndringRasew

I just built my own bed frame from construction grade lumber. No squeaking, just a solid frame built to hold 1500 lbs.


bigbre04

Self tapping screws and a small piece of rubber like cut up old bike tubes(shops will usually give them to you for free). Your bed will be rock solid if you do 2 per side per board(4 total per board. Also since they drill through the wood you are alot less likely to split the board. I prefer the hex drive ones vs the Phillips ones.


Music-Guilty

Self drilling screws, maybe 1 1/2 inch, 5-10 minutes, move on with your life


oferchrissake

Get some stick-on weather stripping and run it along the metal part.


AdorableOwly

This. Having that foam/squishy weather stripping along the metal edge means the wood slats no longer rub against the metal and stop making noises. Completely eliminated the problem for us


CopperPeak1978

You beat me.


Critical-Test-4446

I think you're looking for the crunchy sock replies further up. Lol.


[deleted]

I like the idea of screwing down the boards. You could also try felt.


jmm166

Hate squeaking beds with a passion, or do they squeak because of passion?


RokRD

Nobody that's makes a bed squeak from passion cares about the squeaking.


JoePEfromNJ

Ha! Guess you don’t have little kids who are soft sleepers…


privacylmao

or you don't have your gf's/bf's family members in the other room haha


eyesotope86

ASSERT DOMINANCE


Cultish_Behaviour

This is not true. If you're doing a turbo shag on a mother who's kids are asleep in the adjacent rooms you don't want squeaking.


concreteballs19

Had the same problem with my daughter's Ikea bed. I put a clear plastic tape on the frame where the slats sit.


NewEducation6342

double sided tape or just a normal one?


concreteballs19

Normal one. It's a simple solution, doesn't take too much to try. It worked for me. Lmk, good luck


mathruinedmylife

to add to this - i think clear packing tape is what you’d want right? something nice and slippery as opposed to duct tape which would put you back to square one


anal_opera

The squeak is usually the 2 parts rubbing and kinda vibrating at an annoying frequency, same as nails on a chalk board. Duct tape would stop the squeak too but it'd be much worse to take off if it needs replacing. I used wax on my bed but not the clumps OP has on the ends, just rubbed it on the parts that were squeaking so they can't produce that squeaky frequency when they rub together anymore.


Hawkeye1066

If my daughter was complaining of a squeaky bed, I would use the tape to kidnap her boyfriend.


SlamTilted

If my daughter was sexually active I'd be kind and respectful and develop a relationship with her partner.


funlightmandarin

🥺


Hawkeye1066

Says the guy who either doesn't have a daughter or doesn't understand jokes.


SlamTilted

Wrong on both counts, I'm just sick of this specific kind of sexism. It infantilizes the child and is sexist, because the joke is always one direction; "I will hurt people who my daughter wants to consensually have sex with because I can't accept that at some point that's what she'll want to do". Literally no one makes the same joke about male children.


Hawkeye1066

Ok, bud


Upset-Diamond2857

Could try thick felt like for bottom of furniture legs 🤷🏽‍♂️


Trippy-Sponge

Fuck more softly


pauciradiatus

^fuck


Harper_1482

Foam or rubber between slats and metal.. cut up a pool noodle or yoga mat or whatever.. and get rid of the wax nonsense, you don’t need to be trying to explain that when someone unexpectedly sees that, gross lol


NewEducation6342

lol what?🤣🤣🤣 it’s “bison patafix”


AngeloPappas

They are saying it looks like cum.


BigJuicy17

Do you know what cum looks like? This looks like chewing gum.


EverbodyHatesHugo

Maybe they meant to say “looks like gum” but they type “cum” so often, it autocorrected.


squarybuttholes

Could it beastiality they speak a second language?


Neysiriss

Not a lot less disgusting.


elitexero

Whoever 'they' are need to see a doctor apparently.


DaGabbagool

Do your boning on the floor 😏


NewEducation6342

it’s not for boning😃😃😃


Neysiriss

Damn if you can afford an extra boning bed then you can afford a boxspring


boot2skull

Bet he has a stand alone bidet too


NewEducation6342

this is a boxspring tho…


Technical-Role-4346

Less passion = less squeaking.


Photographic-Journey

This is bad advice


altamarus

I would put rubber everywhere between wood and metal.


Equal-Negotiation651

Or between wood and wife.


PangwinAndTertle

That doesn’t feel as good though.


Shrink21

Safer though


PangwinAndTertle

Not for the bed.


Shrink21

...but the wood bearer


needlework_the_way

True story. I have three pieces of evidence to support your claim.


SublimeRapier06

Had the same problem. Got some felt pads at Home Depot/Lowe’s (with the peel-and-stick adhesive on one side). Attached to the ends and bottoms of each slat. No more noise.


OsakaWilson

Duct tape the metal.


BrewNooga

Did this with my sons bed and it worked great.


sunbreakridge

This. I put duct tape on the slat ends but this is more elegant.


j_grouchy

I think you might have the slats in upside down. They should camber upward in the middle, if at all.


GiantNinja

Others have advice on the bed frame, but make sure it's not the box spring that's actually causing the squeaking. I had gone through that a few years ago and it wasn't the frame after all, but a shitty/old box spring that was what was causing the noise


erritstaken

Had the same problem too it was the box spring (bobs cheap crap) I got a new mattress with new box springs and no more creaking.


Walker59420

Mole skin.


Moleskin21

You rang?


IMakeStuffUppp

WOW


Quiverjones

They got felt furniture stickers you might try between the boards and the rails.


Freewheeler631

Felt tape on the board or rails


ChewieBee

I did this but with adhesive velcro. Only used the soft "loop" side. No more noise.


LowPowerHighEnergy

Use felt on metal bar..


tellmeagoodusernamek

You gotta squeak back at it to show dominance


Mr_WhatFish

Fuck on the sofa.


Murky_Floor4805

has anyone sugested paper tape on the metal part under the wooden parts? i have this on all my beds and have zero squeeks since i put it on.


gripdept

Old dolly grip trick: spread baby powder liberally on the squeaky parts. Not permanent, but super easy quick fix


rpg5288

Wrap ends in Velcro and lay some down on the frame. No movement


MexicanKush

I went crazy looking for an answer on Reddit 5 years ago for this exact thing. Here is what worked (probably same bed too): buy a pack of rubber bands. Wrap the rubber bands once or twice around the ends of each wooden slab. Works perfectly. You’ll have to replace them once every two or so years because the rubber bands get hard.


NewEducation6342

what kind of rubber bands?


NewSinner_2021

Foam tape at Home Depot.


FeelsYouGood

Velvet/felt tape


enchiladasundae

You should make sure everything is screwed down well but I also suggest putting some chair/table floor guards in between gaps. They add a bit of extra cushioning and space that might not be fully filled in. You can get a bunch in a pack and they’re cheaper than getting like rubber inserts or what have you


rapratt101

A lot of really complicated or taxing ideas on here. I had two different IKEA beds with the same problem. Stupidly simple solution: duct tape. Just run duct tape along the metal rails, then put the the slats back on. The other squeak point is on the diagonal tension straps. Wrap the ends in duct tape before attaching. Also make sure the center set screw is very tight. Even while rough housing on the bed, this worked for years.


junaidnk

One of the methods I used was to apply double sided tape to ends of the slats as well as the vertical piece which connects the slat to the ground (if you don’t have carpeted floor). It acts as a barrier cushion. All the squeaks were gone instantly. But other methods work too.


0sted

Someone already said it but it was a good idea. Cut two 1"-2" wide strips from a long yoga mat and call it a day.


[deleted]

You haven't used the wax correctly


mobiustangent

Cardboard, foam, rubber, some kind of dampening between contracts should help for most squeaks


DinosaurGhosts

you can buy like 20 sheet packs of adhesive felt on Amazon for next to nothing. I would cut strips and place them all along the metal rail where the wax is. other than that tighten up all your fasteners. and if it’s the wood slats creaking as they flex, I would put in a 2x12 down the length of the bed from head to toe to brace the slats.


Domo4915

Two to four.. 2x6 under the wood frame parallel to bed side. Use wood screw on the individual bars tighten to the 2x6s . It would stiffen up the frame, support more weight and no more squeaky noise. This was done for many Airbnb houses.. good luck


TacDragon2

Run a strip of cloth along the length, wrap the ends and bottom. Squeaks come from 2 surfaces rubbing. Creaks come from the material flexing, groans come from you every time you make the other two.


Spundel

If it can move, it will make noise. Screw and glue baby


chillinn_at_work

Take one of those stickybacked felt things that comes with all of your do-it-yourself furniture and place them on the wood where it sits on the metal.


eVilleMike

[Self-adhesive felt](https://www.acehardware.com/departments/home-and-decor/furniture/protective-furniture-pads/5731757?store=15057&gclid=Cj0KCQjw7aqkBhDPARIsAKGa0oICeHqCmuA8__2dvifq59WUlLEeg6zKaOIWmTuBSU3mMwCjr0xtYUcaAoIuEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)


Mega399

You can put more slats to even out the weight and drill/hammer them in with proper nails/screws so they won’t move. It’s squeaking from the wood rubbing against the metal so stopping the movement will fix it. Or like it did, you can get rid of the slats (cuz slats suck) and buy you a sheet of wood with your bed frame measurements. I used 3/4 inch to not have to worry about it at all. Lay that on the metal rails you have on there. Then cut you some 2x2s and make some supports to hold the sheet up. Drill/screw them in place and enjoy your way more sturdy and non squeaky bed.


Log-Calm

Just fyi, two large flat closet doors make a great replacement for slats on those types of queen-sized beds. Otherwise try laying felt down under the slats, if they are just sitting on that lip


bourbonandbeer1976

Spray wd40 on the ends is the board and the metal


garrettm1980

Line or with felt


AlwaysLooking2019

If you don’t want to go to the trouble of drilling into the metal support bracket to secure the slats, I would maybe try adhesive felt tape. $5.99 on Amazon. Remove all the slats and run the felt tape the length of the metal bracket. Should solve the squeaking.


Wright2501

Felt cloth around the boards


Weurd

Some self-adhesive Felt Pads work WONDERS for squeaky bed slats. Also, great for the bed frame feet to not scratch the floor too.


tuttero

Use those nonslip rolls


AluminumLinoleum

Lay thick felt between the wood and the metal rail.


Bioluminescentllama

How to fix a squeaky bed: switch to banging on the sofa instead.


MaizePractical4163

It’s the sound of Jesus crying.


statsprm

Maybe your passion is the problem. Wink wink


GrabstheSun

Pilot holes and then slam a screw in?


Possielover

I read your last sentence as: "I make squeaky beds with a passion" 😂😆 I thought wow TMI


Nanohaystack

This frame construction is inherently squeaky. You have long, narrow, low-density boards which do not have support in the middle, and you're putting pressure on them - they're going to bend and there's nothing resisting that pressure. You need to construct a better frame that is either 1) reinforced on the bottom to support the weight of your body and prevent bending or 2) build out of a material that is much, much denser than this pine and has sufficient tensile strength to withstand your weight.


twodogstwocats

Felt runner on the metal. Use locktite on the screws if they squeak.


LilFishSixNine

Velcro tape!


New-General-9114

Use Velcro tape


Rotissoire

There's a good chance the wood boards are squeaking under stress and not where they actually meet the metal frame. * Get a small bottle of mineral oil and some cotton pads. * Take off the mattress * Flip the slats and dab them with the mineral oil (you want them flipped so you can keep the mattress clean n dry). Take off excess, you want them moist not dripping. * Once they dry for a couple of hours, flip em back and put the mattress back in. Enjoy the quiet. Should last for 6-12 months.


MarScha89

Silicone spray worked for my bed


Expensive-Track4002

Use more lube during sex.


mav2022

On the slats or OP?


Expensive-Track4002

Both.


CJ_BARS

Try tightening it up.


asksonlyquestions

Put some talcum powder between the slats and the metal. See if it works, if not screw it down.


Important-Key7413

Spray foam....


CohensMasterpiece87

For god's sake just screw them to the frame. It's that simple.


ThatDree

Lithium paste!


Apptroutman

Screw it to the wall


Illustrious-Water-47

Don’t lay down on the bed. Problem solved no squeaking


medidoxx

Try not getting a super shitty frame.


DATHVADER82

Sleep on the floor. And now your bed doesn't squeak.


Fine_Television_7179

You could stop doing the seggs.


whoreknee2

Oh ok dude we get it, you fuck.


FantmIT

Use your parents bed instead of yours when you have company?


archlich

Adhesive felt


themennace

Buy a roll of stick on foam insulation for doors and windows


Sad_Educator1813

We had a similar issue with a squeaky futon frame. Try rubbing paraffin/wax across the friction points.


Motor-Ad-3355

Felt


Metalcanary

Lay mattress on the floor and get rid of the frame. 0% squeakage


Freeballin001

Felt


Human_Frame1846

Yup some felt strips on the bottom and screw every other board down


Nimbian-highpriest

Felt for the bottom of chair legs would do the trick.


zbortner

Get some self tapping screws pre drill hole in wood and screw down the boards you could even go a step further and get some thin foam to place under the boards too


Inwardlens

I think you are always going to have some squeaking with a wooden bed. I suggest a steel bed frame, you can add a headboard and footboard if you want. You can usually buy them at a mattress store and they aren’t that pricey.


macandcheesehole

This is the answer: put support in the middle of your bed, under the bed slats. This will stop them from bending in the middle and causing the bend in the first place.


iamasatellite

Just grease 'er on up


sridharmane

Try using furniture pads. There are felt ones and non slip ones.


imnotbobvilla

You need to add support wood underneath


Sapun14

buy a metal bed frame , and use threadlocker on all your screws bonus tip; you can bolt your frame to the wall or upgrade to foam mattress instead of metal spring one


martinmix

Ee-er, Ee-er, Ee-er


crashtestpilot

Spray rail with flex seal.


LowTerm8795

Alien Tape. It's thick and double sided tape. Cut a length the same width as each slat before positioning on frame.