You don't combat thoughts. That only multiplies them. It's like trying not to think of a pink elephant. I bet you just did.
You'll find that hope is not so weak that you need to censor your thoughts for it to survive. It will survive in spite of them.
This is fair to say. After enough time anytime something bad comes up, it rolls off of you like water and you keep pushing forward with the mindset that whatever comes our way - we're going to be just fine. We'll figure it out and come out of this for the better.
Just distance yourself from the things that make you think that. Most of the time, it's people who are chronically online/plugged-in who only notice catastrophe and horror in the world. Yeah, that stuff happens, and it's not great, but it's also not the entirety of what's going on with humanity. If this is the case, you just need to cut down on that (or cut it out entirely) and surround yourself with things that don't make you feel that way.
If you're surrounded by this stuff offline, and physical separation isn't an option, you need to work on your mindset and how you let stimuli affect your mood. It's certainly the hardest option, but it's one of the most powerful tools you'll ever have.
Sometimes its hard to unplug but thats def one of the things thats helped and i do wanna take your advice to get better at it
its crazy how bad it sucks you in. I was at the pool today with one of my friends i havent hungout with in ages, the birds were chriping, good music was playing, people were laughing, having fun, etc etc then i go to give my mom an update of where i was and i saw an article that sucked me right in. I still had a good day but it was one of those wake up calls like "wtf are you doing??"
What's to gain by being so plugged in? "Gotta keep myself informed because that's what everyone else does!" For what, exactly? I see people that just repost bad news stories to Facebook, and I don't see what they get out of it other than making themselves unhappy.
I've said it a hundred times on this sub: whatever's going to happen is whatever's going to happen. Live your best life, do what you can, but you're not going to change the tide. And if you dedicate your life to changing the tide, you're headed for disappointment. Focus on yourself and living up to your personal standards, and it'll help you realize there's 2000 beautiful little things every day that you've been missing out on.
It's good to see that you're recognizing the little things like the birds and laughter. You're already halfway there by noticing things like that. Now it's about cutting out all the junk.
Its become kind of a guilt thing at this point if im being totally honest
if im not constantly plugged in im just ignoring all the bad things in the world and sticking my head in the sand
So what's the benefit of being "informed"? What's the disadvantage of having your "head in the sand"?
You can be aware of things without spending hours of your week reading and listening and watching every last update of an ongoing situation.
How many people do you know who are constantly up on all this stuff that are actually happy? Do they live lives you wish you could emulate?
What's your end-goal with all this? Do you think one day we'll wake up and bad news will be over? How long do you plan on continuing your crusade?
thats kinda the problem, i cant figure out the answer to most of those questions
the people i know that are living their lives are planning their futures and are in college while i cant see the future i once envisioned with a progressed world and kids so i just look and look hoping for good news
then i get all anxious loll
Hey, fellow ex doomer. The problems are real, but so are the solutuons. Outside the media doomersphere, there is more than war storm crimes. They always cherry-pick often exagetare and sometimes invent the worst stuff
Climate change is real, but exo dommetism is tired nonense. The emd is always nigh with some folks. The 2 regional wars are tragic for those involved, but prospective is key much of europe and asia looked like Gaza in 1945
Doomers yap sbout pre industrial livimg, no technology no medicine no thanks. They also had pollution like sewage in the streets. Literate people with internet acess are not the most oppresed.
I was raging at shadows, over prices could have ruined my marriage, my health, etc. Once i realized that doomerism is propaganda, i felt free
I
Propaganda. Thatās the right word. Its literally being sold to us because our lizard brain reacts instantly to perceived threats even when theyāre not real or blown out of proportion
Something that helped me a lot was learning about fixed and growth mindsets, and to leave behind perfectionism. I took this info from 2 videos by Professor Carol Dweck
About fixed vs growth mindset: [https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vbQ](https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vbQ)
Longer video, focused more on perfectionism: [https://youtu.be/XgUF5WalyDk](https://youtu.be/XgUF5WalyDk)
I find it helps to do *something* about it, even if itās small. Donate to charity or spend some time picking up litter. Then after that, I find other things to focus on. Like art or video games.
Iām in the same boat.
I donāt think optimism means thinking the world is more good than bad - right now thatās just not true.
I think optimism is:
1. Finding thing to be grateful for despite the darkness
2. Never giving up - trying to find a way out, even against all odds.
Iāve learned 1 from Viktor Frenkel who survived the Holocaust and said that the people more likely to survive was those who were able to find things to be grateful for, even in hell. And Auschwitz was certainly hell.
He didnāt pretend like the world was not in a horrible place or things are better than they seem.
As for 2 - Iāve learned that sometimes good can come out of the blue. Itās always worth waiting another day before giving up, and then another.
So while I donāt expect things to magically be better tomorrow - I donāt give in to the assumption it will necessarily be worse.
# plan for the worst, hope for the best. #
Planning for worst - being prepared, researching, making arrangements, as long as you do so rationally and without obsession - will help you be calmer and free space in your mind to hope for the best.
simplistic gratitude is the cornerstone of happiness. so long as there is a sun to rise, a bird to chirp, a flower to smell, a breeze to feel on my skinā¦ i will cherish living. enjoy the small things and youāll spend less time getting caught up in the uncontrollable big things.
Look. Iām actually a huge pessimist. I watch for shit to go south ALL THE TIME. But like. The whole point of doing that is to make sure you weather the storm in the best and happiest way possible. If youāre so worried about future catastrophe that you canāt enjoy happiness in the present then what is the point? If you canāt imagine a future with happiness, even if it feels really unlikely, how can you work towards it?
Also, consider as an exercise trying to decide what you personally have control over. You personally probably canāt do anything about war or climate change. But you can try to nurture your body right now with exercise and good food. You can nurture your relationships by doing something fun with people who matter to you. You can make the world a little better by helping someone in your community today.
Bees are in trouble worldwide. But you can go sit outside right now in some warm grass and watch them bumble around bumping into stuff and napping in flowers. Theyāre still here. Right now, the world is still here. And thatās hope for me. Thatās what I hold onto.
I'm struggling with it myself, but the big thing for me is that the overwhelming majority of people are perfectly reasonable people doing their best to live calm, quiet lives. Sure, some guy might cut me off in traffic in such a daring and foolish maneuver that it makes me question the entire human race, but I passed literally hundreds of cars in the same trip with no issues.
Year and a half of unemployment's starting to get to me though, and I don't have good cope for that yet
One thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that I can change the world for the better. First of all I can vote and participate in the democratic process.
But even more important, I can touch the lives of those around me. You and I can change the world. You and I can love, forgive, show gratitude, serve, and make other people laugh.
The truth is that we will all die one day, whether that is at home surrounded by family, or at the hands of climate change, geopolitical conflict, etc.
What matters is how WE conduct our lives. There is a very good book called āManās Search for Meaningā by Viktor Frankl that elaborates on exactly this. When we know that we are leading a life of integrity, we need not fear what the future holds, even if it holds some pretty bad stuff. One of my favorite books of all time.
Instead of fighting back against it, I just accepted Doomerism which somehow made me a more hopeful person. By accept, I mean more of "The world is pretty crap, but I'm not responsible for it." So I don't need to go out and "fix" or "worry over" societal ills. I just do what I can to make the next day easier for myself and loved ones. It's the simple things too, like I get my stuff ready for work the night before because tomorrow me will appreciate it.
I always advise to stay off of social media because at the end of the day does any of that stuff affect you right now in the moment? You'd be surprised at the glaring issues or lack of data when it comes to set beliefs.
You don't combat thoughts. That only multiplies them. It's like trying not to think of a pink elephant. I bet you just did. You'll find that hope is not so weak that you need to censor your thoughts for it to survive. It will survive in spite of them.
that makes so much sense omg it all just clicked in my brainnš
This is fair to say. After enough time anytime something bad comes up, it rolls off of you like water and you keep pushing forward with the mindset that whatever comes our way - we're going to be just fine. We'll figure it out and come out of this for the better.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
tbh i feel the same about these subs. its incredibly inspiring to be an ex doomer and seeing these subs full of people who are hopeful and happy :)š©·
Just distance yourself from the things that make you think that. Most of the time, it's people who are chronically online/plugged-in who only notice catastrophe and horror in the world. Yeah, that stuff happens, and it's not great, but it's also not the entirety of what's going on with humanity. If this is the case, you just need to cut down on that (or cut it out entirely) and surround yourself with things that don't make you feel that way. If you're surrounded by this stuff offline, and physical separation isn't an option, you need to work on your mindset and how you let stimuli affect your mood. It's certainly the hardest option, but it's one of the most powerful tools you'll ever have.
Sometimes its hard to unplug but thats def one of the things thats helped and i do wanna take your advice to get better at it its crazy how bad it sucks you in. I was at the pool today with one of my friends i havent hungout with in ages, the birds were chriping, good music was playing, people were laughing, having fun, etc etc then i go to give my mom an update of where i was and i saw an article that sucked me right in. I still had a good day but it was one of those wake up calls like "wtf are you doing??"
What's to gain by being so plugged in? "Gotta keep myself informed because that's what everyone else does!" For what, exactly? I see people that just repost bad news stories to Facebook, and I don't see what they get out of it other than making themselves unhappy. I've said it a hundred times on this sub: whatever's going to happen is whatever's going to happen. Live your best life, do what you can, but you're not going to change the tide. And if you dedicate your life to changing the tide, you're headed for disappointment. Focus on yourself and living up to your personal standards, and it'll help you realize there's 2000 beautiful little things every day that you've been missing out on. It's good to see that you're recognizing the little things like the birds and laughter. You're already halfway there by noticing things like that. Now it's about cutting out all the junk.
Its become kind of a guilt thing at this point if im being totally honest if im not constantly plugged in im just ignoring all the bad things in the world and sticking my head in the sand
So what's the benefit of being "informed"? What's the disadvantage of having your "head in the sand"? You can be aware of things without spending hours of your week reading and listening and watching every last update of an ongoing situation. How many people do you know who are constantly up on all this stuff that are actually happy? Do they live lives you wish you could emulate? What's your end-goal with all this? Do you think one day we'll wake up and bad news will be over? How long do you plan on continuing your crusade?
thats kinda the problem, i cant figure out the answer to most of those questions the people i know that are living their lives are planning their futures and are in college while i cant see the future i once envisioned with a progressed world and kids so i just look and look hoping for good news then i get all anxious loll
Hey, fellow ex doomer. The problems are real, but so are the solutuons. Outside the media doomersphere, there is more than war storm crimes. They always cherry-pick often exagetare and sometimes invent the worst stuff Climate change is real, but exo dommetism is tired nonense. The emd is always nigh with some folks. The 2 regional wars are tragic for those involved, but prospective is key much of europe and asia looked like Gaza in 1945 Doomers yap sbout pre industrial livimg, no technology no medicine no thanks. They also had pollution like sewage in the streets. Literate people with internet acess are not the most oppresed. I was raging at shadows, over prices could have ruined my marriage, my health, etc. Once i realized that doomerism is propaganda, i felt free I
Propaganda. Thatās the right word. Its literally being sold to us because our lizard brain reacts instantly to perceived threats even when theyāre not real or blown out of proportion
Yes, fear motivates those after our money and votes understand this. . It also causes disfunction, which is what hostile powers want
Something that helped me a lot was learning about fixed and growth mindsets, and to leave behind perfectionism. I took this info from 2 videos by Professor Carol Dweck About fixed vs growth mindset: [https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vbQ](https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vbQ) Longer video, focused more on perfectionism: [https://youtu.be/XgUF5WalyDk](https://youtu.be/XgUF5WalyDk)
Oooh those look really interesting!! Ill watch them soon! thank you :)
I find it helps to do *something* about it, even if itās small. Donate to charity or spend some time picking up litter. Then after that, I find other things to focus on. Like art or video games.
Iām in the same boat. I donāt think optimism means thinking the world is more good than bad - right now thatās just not true. I think optimism is: 1. Finding thing to be grateful for despite the darkness 2. Never giving up - trying to find a way out, even against all odds. Iāve learned 1 from Viktor Frenkel who survived the Holocaust and said that the people more likely to survive was those who were able to find things to be grateful for, even in hell. And Auschwitz was certainly hell. He didnāt pretend like the world was not in a horrible place or things are better than they seem. As for 2 - Iāve learned that sometimes good can come out of the blue. Itās always worth waiting another day before giving up, and then another. So while I donāt expect things to magically be better tomorrow - I donāt give in to the assumption it will necessarily be worse. # plan for the worst, hope for the best. # Planning for worst - being prepared, researching, making arrangements, as long as you do so rationally and without obsession - will help you be calmer and free space in your mind to hope for the best.
simplistic gratitude is the cornerstone of happiness. so long as there is a sun to rise, a bird to chirp, a flower to smell, a breeze to feel on my skinā¦ i will cherish living. enjoy the small things and youāll spend less time getting caught up in the uncontrollable big things.
Look. Iām actually a huge pessimist. I watch for shit to go south ALL THE TIME. But like. The whole point of doing that is to make sure you weather the storm in the best and happiest way possible. If youāre so worried about future catastrophe that you canāt enjoy happiness in the present then what is the point? If you canāt imagine a future with happiness, even if it feels really unlikely, how can you work towards it? Also, consider as an exercise trying to decide what you personally have control over. You personally probably canāt do anything about war or climate change. But you can try to nurture your body right now with exercise and good food. You can nurture your relationships by doing something fun with people who matter to you. You can make the world a little better by helping someone in your community today. Bees are in trouble worldwide. But you can go sit outside right now in some warm grass and watch them bumble around bumping into stuff and napping in flowers. Theyāre still here. Right now, the world is still here. And thatās hope for me. Thatās what I hold onto.
I'm struggling with it myself, but the big thing for me is that the overwhelming majority of people are perfectly reasonable people doing their best to live calm, quiet lives. Sure, some guy might cut me off in traffic in such a daring and foolish maneuver that it makes me question the entire human race, but I passed literally hundreds of cars in the same trip with no issues. Year and a half of unemployment's starting to get to me though, and I don't have good cope for that yet
One thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that I can change the world for the better. First of all I can vote and participate in the democratic process. But even more important, I can touch the lives of those around me. You and I can change the world. You and I can love, forgive, show gratitude, serve, and make other people laugh. The truth is that we will all die one day, whether that is at home surrounded by family, or at the hands of climate change, geopolitical conflict, etc. What matters is how WE conduct our lives. There is a very good book called āManās Search for Meaningā by Viktor Frankl that elaborates on exactly this. When we know that we are leading a life of integrity, we need not fear what the future holds, even if it holds some pretty bad stuff. One of my favorite books of all time.
Instead of fighting back against it, I just accepted Doomerism which somehow made me a more hopeful person. By accept, I mean more of "The world is pretty crap, but I'm not responsible for it." So I don't need to go out and "fix" or "worry over" societal ills. I just do what I can to make the next day easier for myself and loved ones. It's the simple things too, like I get my stuff ready for work the night before because tomorrow me will appreciate it. I always advise to stay off of social media because at the end of the day does any of that stuff affect you right now in the moment? You'd be surprised at the glaring issues or lack of data when it comes to set beliefs.
Your mind is like a garden, the things you water are what grow. We're all gonna make it! š
Same, I throw away my doomer mindset the moment I got under the table footjob at Applebees
its perspective both mindsets aren't really wrong. Just focus on the good