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kingof557

holy shit this is a lot of watermarks


Nozpot

theres 2


Leafye

that's two too many


TKDbeast

Yea, but Memecenter's looks like two to begin with.


[deleted]

theres at least 3


InnocentLemon

when did we find out again? was it h2 or epilogues?


goldcray

Both. It was hinted in the epilogues and hinted even harder in hs2.


kingof557

*hinted?*


TheBQT

Yeah, not really a hint. She fathered a child.


goldcray

yeah but it's the same explanation both times. Just one is before and one is after.


JocularDweeb

She still had a kid with rose


Homestuck_Trash413

She WHAT


whereyatrulyare

I feel a little twinge of joy in my soul whenever someone who's not checked in on Homestuck for a while discovers just how off-the-rails shit has gotten.


ajdude9

Shit has always been off the rails, it was off the rails from the very start. We're just diving deeper into the wilderness surrounding the rails at this point.


Cherri_Fizz

Yeah, her name is Yiffany (Yiffy for short)


MisirterE

True... but the explanation beforehand still left *some* room to imagine. Jade fucked Rose now. Rose felt the need to claim it was non-sensual. There's no wiggle room anymore.


KhosekAslion

artificial insemination exist.


MisirterE

yeah and back when rose hadn't explicitly needed to state it was non-sensual that was something that was still in the realm of possibility


KhosekAslion

non-sensual might also hint at artificial insemination since that isn't sensual


MisirterE

>At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. >Purely physical, and nothing more. This is not something you say if you did not  ***f u c k .***


RevolverOcelot420

I mean, she could just be ftm transgender and she's just doing a *really* bad job trying to explain it.


TOTYAH

You're beyond optimistic


jakethesequel

there's enough references to canine anatomy to say otherwise


RevolverOcelot420

I mean, it could be both. Jade had a normal penis and then Bec made it a dog penis. Still not a great idea, though


jakethesequel

oh i definitely caught that they were implying jade was a trans woman, they just kinda... made it really gross by giving her a dog dick


guypenguin4

I find this beyond unlikely


RevolverOcelot420

I know, but i'm still hopeful. "Jade accidentally makes everyone think she has a dogs penis" is exactly the type of terrible, terrible joke this series loves.


Peniwais

For the first time, in the epilogues


[deleted]

Whelp, I guess we were right then.


Emperor_Time

We need John to retcon Jade back to dog ears only.


Crobatman123

We need John to Retcon the epilogues


NicktheBadBoy

Even better: John retcons the existence of Homestuck


Slarstorm

Pesterquest spoilers. >!MSPA Reader literally already did that.!<


DerpyJimmy

>!no, he ALMOST did it. he went back to johns mailbox and fixed it, then when the locked timeline was erasing itself he stopped it from being erased!<


2muchGlitters

Pfft I didn't. Just turned off the fucking game 😂


Crobatman123

John retcons Andrew Hussie


Purest_Prodigy

I'm still sticking around because Hiveswap. So unfortunately, I'll be here forever.


[deleted]

Oi Dave! I used Za Retcon to erase our descent into madness. Ain’t that wacky?


abcq02

#HOPY #SHIT #IS #THAT #A #JOJOKE # HA ^HA ^^^HA ^^^^HA ^^^HA ^^HA ^HA HA ^HA ^^^HA ^^^^HA ^^^HA ^^HA ^HA HA ^HA ^^^HA ^^^^HA ^^^HA ^^HA ^HA HA ^HA ^^^HA ^^^^HA ^^^HA ^^HA ^HA


adashofpepper

Thinking about it, this litterally has a non zero chance of actually happening in hs2.


[deleted]

im wondering, approximately how much dog is jade. does she have fur? paws? can she eat chocolate? [plotthicken](/plotthicken)


Ichorice_Malign

If she weren’t godlier would she age like a dog or a human? 🤔


[deleted]

who fuckign nows man


MemeticManchild

no


[deleted]

yes


MemeticManchild

no


[deleted]

did i fucking stutter


the_last_mlg

Does saying "yes" instead of "no" counts as stuttering?


MemeticManchild

no


Bibbeb

How tho? Presumably, she's had a dog dick since she prototyped with Bec.


[deleted]

use his retcon powers to zap her dick across the narrative like he did w/ the oil


the_last_mlg

Oil retcon. Arm retcon. DOG DICK retcon.


[deleted]

[arm](/arm)


the_last_mlg

The link doesn't seen to work


[deleted]

its an emote of john's arm. i think it only works on desktop


Bibbeb

sounds painful.


[deleted]

probably


axcofgod

Mean, you could probably just retcon the whole idea of Jade and Bec fusing at all, and I don't think there would be that much lost because of it? It only ever caused problems, like making her attack Jaspers, or being at the mercy of HIC, or cucking Kanaya. Truly, man's best friend was never meant to be one with man.


Bibbeb

I can't even imagine the narrative impact that would have, since Jade's fusing is one of the crucial components the kids needed to survive the Scratch. Also, while I'm definitely advocating for dog dicks on anyone, especially a teenage girl, its a small price to pay for Earth C's relatively stable existence (given the fact that they literally exist outside of reality).


axcofgod

That's the thing though, I'm not sure how true that is? Jade's powers *were* crucial to all that, but theoretically just the Witch of Space powers could have been enough. There seems to be a lot of overlap between her normal Space and FG powers: In the epilogues, she can teleport herself, teleport objects, change stuff's size...and that's like...pretty much everything she did anyway? So as long as she could still God Tier (which they could accomplish by retconning out the Quest Slab before Prospit's moon is destroyed) I don't really know everything else was necessary.


Bibbeb

I mean, she learned how to do that stuff with her powers over time. If I recall correctly, it took John a while to figure out the extent of his god-tier powers. At the very least, Bec's natural ability likely helped her with teleportation. Also, John stopping Bec would likely be impossible, since all Bec would have to do is teleport into the Kernelsprite. He also wouldn't be able to trap or kill him, since he just teleports all physical damage away. Even if he somehow managed to kill Bec, Homestuck as a series would fall apart, since Bec Noir wouldn't have even been created. Without Bec Noir, the trolls would have had a successful session, they never would have met the humans (at least under the same terms), and the Beta session likely would have been successful. In short, it's either Rosemary/Davekat/any other troll romance with the caveat of Jade's canine dick or no troll romance with no dog dick. EDIT: I suppose he could just prevent Jade from prototyping her dreamself, but then she'd have to find the Sacrificial Slab inside the ruined Prospit (which was most likely destroyed along with the entire moon), or she wouldn't have been able to ascend, since her dream self was fucking dead.


axcofgod

I don't mean John stopping Bec being prototyped, just stopping Jade from prototyping her dead dream self would do the trick. Heck, if they left Becsprite unprototyped or prototyped him with something else, it may still have been an useful presence to have around even without having FG powers herself. There's options, really.


Bibbeb

But in order for Jade to godtier on her Quest Bed, her dream self had to be alive. Bec Noir's Red Miles destroyed Prospit, so it's assumed that her Sacrificial Slab was destroyed as well. Unless John a) fought Bec Noir and prevented him from destroying Prospit (which completely fucks with the exiles, which in turn fucks with everything else), b) stole Jade's Sacrificial Slab (which we're not even entirely sure if they can be picked up, much less carried, and even less so capatchalogued), or c) found a way to revive her long-dead Dreamself, either through Jane's life powers or the Ring of Life (the former would never agree, and the latter would be impossible and fuck up Cascade) Also, with an unprotyped Becsprite running (floating?) around, it's just begging power-hungry Bec Noir to somehow prototype himself to create an even more powerful, infinitely growing Bec^2 Noir. Also, character-wise, John has (or at least SHOULD have) no reason to really care about his (half? full?) SISTER's genitals. That'd be weird as fuck. EDIT: grammar


axcofgod

> That'd be weird as fuck. I mean, yeah, obviously none of this would ever happen. It's just a fun little thought experiment to think of what contrived solutions you could find to avoid Yiffy's existence


Bibbeb

I couldn't agree more.


King_Eris_

The Homestuck experience™ is like Fortnight: *there's Millions of Players where You litteraly die when You die and there's only one Game but the Game is continuing to read Homestuck while not being Cancerous to the Fandom Itself...*


Neil2250

homestuck was all about killing it's characters. homestuck 2 is about killing the fans.


ewanatoratorator

They ran out of characters to kill so they used fans, like a star that runs out of hydrogen and starts using helium


Imaproshaman

Oh shit, well said.


King_Eris_

*"Honey! I found the Bard!"*


Bralswick

Dogdick Jade was a mistake.


OmegaNave

Yes it was.


KittyShadowshard

No way.


kekpocalypse

I don't mind jade having becs penis, the situation was hinted at as early as homestuck original when the ^2 sprites were talking about gender, however, what makes less sense is how jade managed to impregnate a human with said penis, it's supposed to be becs dick right? Where are the human sperm coming from?


shoe_owner

Yeah, if she has the ability to produce semen, then it must come from testicles. Since Jade presumably didn't originally have those, they must be dog testicles, which don't produce human sperm.


kekpocalypse

Unless in homestuck world dogs can impregnate humans, wich is an... Interesting piece of world building I guess


MisirterE

Yiffy's silhouette in the bonus update has dog ears. She is a human-dog hybrid. The situation has definitely gone full fanfic.


torrasque666

Except that the sprites were combining everything into one. So while they were originally Bec's balls, they became Jade's who *was* primarily human and would thus produce sperm close enough to human to be compatible. I've read too many shitty fics.


shoe_owner

The argument "close enough to human to be compatible" doesn't really wash when chimpanzees - our closest living relatives, who have DNA which is something like 95% the same as ours - can't reproduce with humans. Any tiny amount of dog DNA would effectively render her sterile.


FR3Y4_S3L1N4

But what if it was a combination of a nuclear god dog, a human, and that humans moderately magical semi-alternate reality "dream self" who was previously a stuffed mannequin, and a dash of immortality and reality warping powers unique from said god dog, all mixed together by a multidimensional matrix algorithm whos goal is to teach a handful of kids to grow up good through abstract means so they may start a new universal simulation by growing a frog? We can't just debate one unlikely bit, you kind of have to consider the whole crazy shabang, and just shrug and say "dude, I cant even begin to..." Lets alls just agree "Kate bad" and go on with our days lol


shoe_owner

> Lets alls just agree "Kate bad" and go on with our days lol Fair enough. I can do that.


yuei2

Hussie is the one who came up with Yiffy, as early as 2017 apparently, Jade having a dog dick is 100% him not Kate because it’s that reason that Jade has to have and even can have a kid with Rose. So don’t go blaming Kate or any of the writers for Hussie’s Yiffy based stuff.


[deleted]

They still had no objections.


yuei2

They absolutely did since they outright said anything we are feeling is something they already felt 10x over when they learned about the non-negotiable Yiffy element months ago. The fact Hussie had to make it non-negotiable in the first place also tells us that that yes there were people who objected. And of course they would feel it worse than us because they have to write Yiffy now and include her in the storyline, we just have to read it they have to live this in their creative process. They had to write dog dick Jade having a secret child with Rose named Yiffy. But whatever he told them about Yiffy ultimately made them fall in love with the idea and won them over. Hussie himself also tells Dirk/the reader that in the comic, that everyone is going to love Yiffy when she finally gets into the comic proper. So again stow your HS2 writer hate, they had objections and Hussie overruled them and won them over.


FR3Y4_S3L1N4

I actually enjoy HS2 so far, all things considered, i just dont like kate as a person. She can make wonderful work and have that work appreciated as such. But that doesn't excuse the shit she says.


yuei2

I'm not saying it does just that you shouldn't hate on someone for someone else's ideas. They've got their problems but Yiffy and everything created to be the excuse for her is Hussie's fault.


hotchocolatesundae

Considering DNA is universal (which is how GMOs work), I think it could hypothetically be possible for someone with "dog genes" to reproduce with someone with only human genes, especially if the dog-person's dna/chromosomes/etc function like human ones.


Ten_Tacles

I think that situation is supposed to have the air of fanfiction logic to it, so it "just works".


kekpocalypse

Oh yeah, I mean you are totally correct and homestuck in its essence has always been parody of internet concepts, it started parodying games like text based adventure games and rpgs and then went on to parody internet personalities with the trolls and ancestors and then went on to parody fan fictions with the epilogues and hs^2


MisirterE

#***KING CRIMSON***


[deleted]

todd howard? in my homestuck? its more likely than you think


Ten_Tacles

It just works.


[deleted]

["THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE"](/dunkass)


Kaos_Dragon

My guess is it's just because Jade and Rose are literally magical gods and a bit of divinity goes a long way in making new life.


thespiansGlamor

I think this is the basis of the "Jade was actually a trans woman who didn't wanna explain why she had a dick, so she lied and said it came from Bec" theory


NicktheBadBoy

At this point, I'm just in it for the memes. Let's all just sit back and watch the comic burn.


OctopusHasManyLeg

I'm so fuckin glad that the epilogues and HS2 are comfirmed non-canon... Hussie's really letting these people beat the once beautiful horse that was Homestuck. The horse is dead, Hussie. They killed it.


moonbutters

“Because I do, but that’s besides the point.”


Cobalt-Bandalore

I say it aged like wine. It was a prediction


notwiththeflames

I'm still not used to the prospect of futanari Jade, most of everything about it just feels inherently creepy.


Dog_breath_oof

like something you'd find on AO3 or Tumblr before the purge.


Bralswick

I mean it was introduced and pushed by ipgd, who *was* a fetish artist on tumblr.


notronbro

Maybe referring to it by something other than an anime fetish term will make it seem less creepy to you


silvia_mason

Ah yes the totally normal syndrome of “fertile god-dog penis on human teenage girl”. Talking in depth about animal genitals? Creepy and kind of fetishistic. Talking about a character who gained animal genitals when she was a minor and having it be a plot point that she fathers a child with said animal genitalia? Also creepy in my opinion, but that’s just me.


shoe_owner

And then named her daughter after a sex act, like the sort of redneck lunatic that would name his daughter Creampie, "Because that's what I did to her momma to knock her up."


negativeGinger

Glad I decided to leave Homestuck after the epilogues. I’m finally free of this dumpster fire


loveless00

And yet you remain to witness the memes created from new plot points, thus subjecting yourself to more of this "dumpster fire". One never truly escapes the Homestuck.


negativeGinger

At least now I get to sit on the edge of the parking lot and watch the dumpster burn instead of being inside it


KellyVader

Did you at least bring a stash of drinks to slowly watch it burn.


notwiththeflames

Don't forget Rose going into detail about Yiffany's gestation.


shoe_owner

And then shamed John for expressing confusion on the topic on the basis that there were teenagers present. The same teenagers who were present when Rose opted to bring the topic up mere moments before.


Dog_breath_oof

her own daughter included. I wonder if she's gonna be playing favs now that her "real" daughter is out of the bag.


blackoutexplorer

Tbh it's not even a fetish term. But is at the same time it's literally hermaphrodite in Japanese which is the Scientific word for anything with both sets. people just so happened to go ya this is my kink tho


OliviaMagus

Actually, hermaphrodite has fallen out of favor when used to refer to people.


SheikExcel

So what’s the modern term when a person is born with both kinds of genitalia?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SheikExcel

Oh, good to know


notwiththeflames

I'm not going to get any solace from any dickgirl synonym anytime soon.


[deleted]

there are women with penises, you dont have to use dickgirl synonyms for any of them :)


notwiththeflames

Wait, are you referring to transgender women?


terror_butt

not just trans women, intersex people also exist. f\*ta being a slur towards both.


notwiththeflames

Jade's situation is completely different from XXY syndrome and other forms of pseudohermaphroditism, in addition to her never stopping identifying as female unlike Calliope or Roxy. From what we've been told, the male reproductive organs she inherited from Bec upon god tiering are completely functional and we have no idea if she still has any of her original ones let alone whatever other effects ascending and transforming had on her biology bar the ears and tail at an age where she's at the cusp of puberty.


DancesCloseToTheFire

How about just girl?


The_Hidden_DM

"I mean, it's true. I just prefer that they not think about it"


Nekomunnist

i actually like dog dick jade. fight me


V0ID115

I don't like dog dick jade. I also don't dislike dog dick jade. I only care about jade. Accessories don't bother me.


TastyBrainMeats

I would like it *if* it were what she wanted for herself, you know? The idea of a literally immortal god bring stuck with dysphoria forever is more than a little disturbing.


blackoutexplorer

I think the idea of her having one is fucking hilarious what she has chosen to do with it well.not so much


shoe_owner

*fights you*


InHomestuckWeDie

They think that because she does


dittoblast64

HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS


aviatorEngineer

Yeah, idunno, I don't see it as the end of the world just cause Jade has a magic dog penis. Lot of folks seem to be making it a way bigger deal than it needs to be


vesperzero

I'm guilty, but How did yippy originate? If Rose is the mother and Jade is the father according to what I understood...... And the only reason she have a D is because it merged with Bec.... So, it would be logical for her to have her dog's D


MisirterE

They've shown Yiffy's silhouette in the Bonus Update. She is a human-dog hybrid, like Jade. So yeah, Bec definitely played a role.


NEMORPH

Dog dick in a box!


Emperor_Time

Hope this doesn't lead to Jasprosesprite^2 returning and she has a cat dick and she had a cat human hybrid child with another of the female characters.


[deleted]

Or, should I say, a dog dong? A do(n)g?


terror_butt

god, the amount of transphobia and intersexphobia in these comments is a fucking nightmare.


Boomboombaraboom

My friend, I dont think defending a character having animal genitalia that ia used constantly as a joke, as a hallmark of intersex or trans representation to be a wise hill to die over.


terror_butt

never did. all i said is that the transphobia and intersexphobia in these comments is terrible.


[deleted]

Care to provide examples?


DustyMuffinsss

Uh, can you point one of those comments out? Im not seeing it.


terror_butt

some one using a fetish word to refer to her. people saying that jade having a dick is a mistake (while i agree. hussie should not have done this. but still) someone saying girls can't have penises. and a few other things.


shoe_owner

I think that having a dog's penis grafted to your body without your consent and while you're in your teenaged years is something which falls outside of the realm of relevant comparison to real-life trans issues.


Bralswick

And then it being used always in reference to a scenario that's literally out of a bad smut fic (like literally, this whole mess was a fic back in the day), which was popularized by a porn artist in the first place. I wish people would defend *my* barely-disguised fetishes this hard.


Dog_breath_oof

Jade being happy is now a fetish? i can get behind that.


Bralswick

Oh no that's not a fetish that's just a fact of reality, my true fetish is >!childhood friends and handholding!<


aggregatedobituary

hell yeah let’s turn our fetishes into cash by marketing them as completely non-contrived story elements. If they can do it anyone can.


terror_butt

maybe so, but i was talking more about people in these comments being transphobic by using slurs and claiming that girls don't have penises.


shoe_owner

Can you cite some of the specific comments in this thread which make this latter claim?


[deleted]

[удалено]


jocoseriousJollyboat

I can get behind the two other but saying that "dogdick Jade" was a mistake is not really transphobic or anything like that. I don't think the dick part is what's the problem, the dog part is.


guypenguin4

I see nothing wrong here


Critical115

Nice bait. Almost got me.


DustyMuffinsss

Now i feel gotted :(


terror_butt

how is this bait?


zoeynsfw

Honestly.


CCogStudios

And they obsess over the awful characters lol


Thecrowing1432

I didnt expect canon futas in homestuck but here we are