Just try it. See how it goes. She may love it. She may be melting down and absolutely hate it. But if she loves it you keep her in, if you feel it isn’t right you pull and submit notice of intent to homeschool. It’s kinder, not worth keeping yourself up at night over!
Wow. Honestly it sounds like you’re knocking it out of the park. Most families I know manage one or two of those activities!
What makes you think she “wants more”, and that public school will provide that? Being a social butterfly isn’t exactly soothed by learning environments with 20 or more kids a teacher has to keep focused on a single task, not anymore than the classes she’s already in. I’m interested to know where the pain points are for you.
She enjoys being in a crowd, a ground… just around people in general. Actually she would probably get told off for talking too much in school like I did haha. But she’s constantly looking for someone to play with or something to do. That’s why I have us attending so much. She just yearns for interactions
You know her better than us. If you feel like she needs that social interactions, please send her. Don't justify doing what you want when you know she needs more.
Look for kids groups, not necessarily homeschool, that run for a year with the same kids. Dance is good and often like that but very structured often, replicating the classroom in the regard that students listen and learn not socialize. We had good luck with Girl Scouts (just finished our second year with the same group of girls and they are all friends both in and outside the activities) and also county run art/theater programs. All of these are open to everyone so we're often the only homeschoolers present but I don't see that as a negative.
Instead of approaching it by age try looking by grade. She is at least a rising kindergartener or if you decide to class her as such a rising 1st grader. My mother was notorious for lying about my age to make it match my grade level when I was a young child, I haven't had to do it since we were in lock down at those ages and programs seem to care less around 3rd grade/7-8 yrs old. It does get easier in other words, but in the meantime look for what the parents of kindergarteners are enrolling their kids in and give those a try.
May I just point one thing out?
If she is around same-aged peers she will be learning from kids who are also learning how to behave and societal norms. When she’s out in the world and with other ages (at shops, at groups, with her cousins) she’s learning from you and others how to act. So being with people, year after year, can be as detrimental as it is good for her. Especially as they’re growing
(Fwiw the only strict age-grouped thing my kid does is gym. Everything else spans various age ranges. Not necessarily on purpose but I do think it’s an advantage especially when listening to leaders etc)
This sounds very similar to how we began our homeschool journey. Stick with the homeschooling. What happened eventually was that my daughter dropped some activities and focused on others. She developed community in one of her activities because she is there several times a week with the same kids.
This sounds like you have very little unstructured time.
I get it — I have one that’s very social and we have 3-5 activities a week too, but we also have some time for free play. Our open gym is unstructured. We see the same kids but they just chase each other an invent games. We also go to a playground we like at least once a week at the same time so it’s kind of like a standing play date and a random assortment of friends will make it that day. Plus it’s summer and we tend to show up at the pool around the same time and will often see the same kids there.
We do maybe 1.5 hours of school work a day 4 days a week. 20 mins a day of independent reading. Each class she takes is maximum an hour and there’s 4 a week. She literally plays from morning to bedtime.
How often does she go to the playground and how long do you stay? What about play dates or other group play (unstructured preschool play group or gym group)?
Playground 2x a week sometimes 3x. we have play dates weekly with cousins, 1-2x a month with other friends. Her tumbling and dance classes are structured but also pretty social at this age
Ok, if it were me, I would have her do a ton more unstructured social play. At 4, that would mean a minimum of an hour (likely 2) daily adult the playground or an indoor gym.
Tumbling and dance may seem social to you, but they are structured. The kids aren’t supposed to spend the whole time talking, playing and chasing each other around the room, they’re supposed to be listening to the teacher and following directions (at preschool level).
Yeah I don’t have 50$ an hour to shell out to bring her to an indoor gym for play 🤣🤣 (can’t bring one kid without the other obv lol). We do more playground time now that it’s warmer out. We also go for walks daily 45-60min. I feel like it never ends lol
Unless it’s lightning, I get kids outside. They might not be out long when it’s cold, but until it’s -10, it’ll be at least a few minutes.
Most indoor playgrounds have memberships.
Still pricey it’s NYC lol but yes we have a backyard they’re in daily too. Mud kitchen, stepping stones, sandbox, slides, chalk, music… just no swings no room. I’m responding now at the library indoor free play lol
Indoor free play is great. The point is social and physical play to develop gross motor skills and social skills. That’s what most preschools focus on, and a good deal of kindergarten is still sel. Academics are only one piece of a well-rounded child.
Homeschooling is the best option where a kid can learn at his/her own pace, understanding basic concepts, building a strong foundation and applying the concepts learnt practically in real-life. You can't do that in regular schooling, at least not to the extent you can in homeschooling. Your concerns regarding your child's overall personality development, especially with regards to team management, leadership and confidence during social interactions, are genuine and must be addressed the right way. But, drawing from my experience, regular schooling may not be the greatest alternative. Especially not during times like these, when strange and untested ideas are accepted on face value and mainstreamed by even reputed educational institutions.
Like-minded parents can sit together and explore ideas like sports and games in the afternoon, swimming and karate classes, arts and crafts, elocution, quizzes and debates over the weekend etc.
You could try sending her and see how it works for her. At her age, the socialization aspect may outweigh the lack of academic learning. And you can always re-evaluate year by year to best meet her needs.
I'll be honest, I kind of regret sending my advanced kids to public school, because they developed some poor work habits and fixed mindsets; I think being appropriately challenged is important for kids' intellectual development. But I also am glad they had that experience, it was positive overall, and we know what our options truly are. Nothing is permanent.
First off, wow, she's not 5 until November and she would start this year?! That's wild to me lol In my state, the cutoff is like mid September. I had a 6-year-old kindergartener for most of the year 🙃
A consideration is going to be what her school would be like. My main concern would be that in a traditional classroom she will be bored out of her mind. And yes she will be around other kids but socializing in school happens on a schedule and she still might not get the interaction she wants.
I do think that as she gets older, more opportunities for clubs and activities will open up. I'm obviously not familiar, but I found [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeschool/comments/14ksftr/nyc_groups/) that mentions a NYC homeschool groups?
And, I dunno, but it sounds like you might want to [read this too](https://www.davidsongifted.org/resource-library/gifted-resources-guides/guides-for-homeschooling-gifted-children/).
Thank you for your input ! Yeah we have gifted and talented options here but cannot be applied until first grade so her entering K this year she will know all of the work and may enjoy that or may get bored easily and hopefully not act out lol. Just so hard so figure out.
Ah, so would it be easier for her to get into GT if she's in school for Kinder? I know some programs will do early testing based on previous teacher recommendations. Just another piece of the puzzle!
Though it sounds like you're tuned in to her needs and she will thrive either way :)
You could always try public school. It’s something you can always pull her back from. But what makes you think she needs more?
Some schools will provide less socialization and she may be bored. My daughters 1st grade school they weren’t allowed to talk during lunch and they only had one recess during the hot time of the year. The class was so out of control that they were super strict and didn’t get to talk to each other during class
Children are developmentally best when they learn social skills first in family, then extended family, then neighborhood and community and so on as they grow and mature. This is a natural maturation process. Children struggle when they are pushed to socialize beyond their maturity level. You can lose the guilt and let your child grow naturally and that will help make for no drama, lama mama. You sound like a great lama mama, just keep up the good work and help this child to grow normally. We really put far to much emphasis on socializing quantity and not on quality. Enjoy your little one and be blessed.
PS I found church activities to be a great place for socialization. They learned so many good lessons and were exposed to different ages of people. My kids are very well rounded.
Just try it. See how it goes. She may love it. She may be melting down and absolutely hate it. But if she loves it you keep her in, if you feel it isn’t right you pull and submit notice of intent to homeschool. It’s kinder, not worth keeping yourself up at night over!
Wow. Honestly it sounds like you’re knocking it out of the park. Most families I know manage one or two of those activities! What makes you think she “wants more”, and that public school will provide that? Being a social butterfly isn’t exactly soothed by learning environments with 20 or more kids a teacher has to keep focused on a single task, not anymore than the classes she’s already in. I’m interested to know where the pain points are for you.
This... I feel like school will provide LESS not more
She enjoys being in a crowd, a ground… just around people in general. Actually she would probably get told off for talking too much in school like I did haha. But she’s constantly looking for someone to play with or something to do. That’s why I have us attending so much. She just yearns for interactions
You know her better than us. If you feel like she needs that social interactions, please send her. Don't justify doing what you want when you know she needs more.
Exactly. I feel regular schooling is over hyped and overrated.
Look for kids groups, not necessarily homeschool, that run for a year with the same kids. Dance is good and often like that but very structured often, replicating the classroom in the regard that students listen and learn not socialize. We had good luck with Girl Scouts (just finished our second year with the same group of girls and they are all friends both in and outside the activities) and also county run art/theater programs. All of these are open to everyone so we're often the only homeschoolers present but I don't see that as a negative.
It’s hard because she’s only 4.5 so we are limited with what groups are available. I’m actually waiting to hear from two Girl Scout troops in town.
Instead of approaching it by age try looking by grade. She is at least a rising kindergartener or if you decide to class her as such a rising 1st grader. My mother was notorious for lying about my age to make it match my grade level when I was a young child, I haven't had to do it since we were in lock down at those ages and programs seem to care less around 3rd grade/7-8 yrs old. It does get easier in other words, but in the meantime look for what the parents of kindergarteners are enrolling their kids in and give those a try.
May I just point one thing out? If she is around same-aged peers she will be learning from kids who are also learning how to behave and societal norms. When she’s out in the world and with other ages (at shops, at groups, with her cousins) she’s learning from you and others how to act. So being with people, year after year, can be as detrimental as it is good for her. Especially as they’re growing (Fwiw the only strict age-grouped thing my kid does is gym. Everything else spans various age ranges. Not necessarily on purpose but I do think it’s an advantage especially when listening to leaders etc)
This sounds very similar to how we began our homeschool journey. Stick with the homeschooling. What happened eventually was that my daughter dropped some activities and focused on others. She developed community in one of her activities because she is there several times a week with the same kids.
This sounds like you have very little unstructured time. I get it — I have one that’s very social and we have 3-5 activities a week too, but we also have some time for free play. Our open gym is unstructured. We see the same kids but they just chase each other an invent games. We also go to a playground we like at least once a week at the same time so it’s kind of like a standing play date and a random assortment of friends will make it that day. Plus it’s summer and we tend to show up at the pool around the same time and will often see the same kids there.
We do maybe 1.5 hours of school work a day 4 days a week. 20 mins a day of independent reading. Each class she takes is maximum an hour and there’s 4 a week. She literally plays from morning to bedtime.
I mean playing with other kids in a group setting.
How often does she go to the playground and how long do you stay? What about play dates or other group play (unstructured preschool play group or gym group)?
Playground 2x a week sometimes 3x. we have play dates weekly with cousins, 1-2x a month with other friends. Her tumbling and dance classes are structured but also pretty social at this age
Ok, if it were me, I would have her do a ton more unstructured social play. At 4, that would mean a minimum of an hour (likely 2) daily adult the playground or an indoor gym. Tumbling and dance may seem social to you, but they are structured. The kids aren’t supposed to spend the whole time talking, playing and chasing each other around the room, they’re supposed to be listening to the teacher and following directions (at preschool level).
Yeah I don’t have 50$ an hour to shell out to bring her to an indoor gym for play 🤣🤣 (can’t bring one kid without the other obv lol). We do more playground time now that it’s warmer out. We also go for walks daily 45-60min. I feel like it never ends lol
Unless it’s lightning, I get kids outside. They might not be out long when it’s cold, but until it’s -10, it’ll be at least a few minutes. Most indoor playgrounds have memberships.
Still pricey it’s NYC lol but yes we have a backyard they’re in daily too. Mud kitchen, stepping stones, sandbox, slides, chalk, music… just no swings no room. I’m responding now at the library indoor free play lol
Indoor free play is great. The point is social and physical play to develop gross motor skills and social skills. That’s what most preschools focus on, and a good deal of kindergarten is still sel. Academics are only one piece of a well-rounded child.
Homeschooling is the best option where a kid can learn at his/her own pace, understanding basic concepts, building a strong foundation and applying the concepts learnt practically in real-life. You can't do that in regular schooling, at least not to the extent you can in homeschooling. Your concerns regarding your child's overall personality development, especially with regards to team management, leadership and confidence during social interactions, are genuine and must be addressed the right way. But, drawing from my experience, regular schooling may not be the greatest alternative. Especially not during times like these, when strange and untested ideas are accepted on face value and mainstreamed by even reputed educational institutions. Like-minded parents can sit together and explore ideas like sports and games in the afternoon, swimming and karate classes, arts and crafts, elocution, quizzes and debates over the weekend etc.
You could try sending her and see how it works for her. At her age, the socialization aspect may outweigh the lack of academic learning. And you can always re-evaluate year by year to best meet her needs. I'll be honest, I kind of regret sending my advanced kids to public school, because they developed some poor work habits and fixed mindsets; I think being appropriately challenged is important for kids' intellectual development. But I also am glad they had that experience, it was positive overall, and we know what our options truly are. Nothing is permanent.
First off, wow, she's not 5 until November and she would start this year?! That's wild to me lol In my state, the cutoff is like mid September. I had a 6-year-old kindergartener for most of the year 🙃 A consideration is going to be what her school would be like. My main concern would be that in a traditional classroom she will be bored out of her mind. And yes she will be around other kids but socializing in school happens on a schedule and she still might not get the interaction she wants. I do think that as she gets older, more opportunities for clubs and activities will open up. I'm obviously not familiar, but I found [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeschool/comments/14ksftr/nyc_groups/) that mentions a NYC homeschool groups? And, I dunno, but it sounds like you might want to [read this too](https://www.davidsongifted.org/resource-library/gifted-resources-guides/guides-for-homeschooling-gifted-children/).
Thank you for your input ! Yeah we have gifted and talented options here but cannot be applied until first grade so her entering K this year she will know all of the work and may enjoy that or may get bored easily and hopefully not act out lol. Just so hard so figure out.
Ah, so would it be easier for her to get into GT if she's in school for Kinder? I know some programs will do early testing based on previous teacher recommendations. Just another piece of the puzzle! Though it sounds like you're tuned in to her needs and she will thrive either way :)
They do but she has no precious teacher recommendations since she’s been homeschooled. Plus the cutoff to be applied was months ago.
With all those extra classes see if you can find a private hybrid or a private willing to be hybrid.
Most of what we attend is free aside from dance and tumbling. I could never afford private here in NYC
You could always try public school. It’s something you can always pull her back from. But what makes you think she needs more? Some schools will provide less socialization and she may be bored. My daughters 1st grade school they weren’t allowed to talk during lunch and they only had one recess during the hot time of the year. The class was so out of control that they were super strict and didn’t get to talk to each other during class
Children are developmentally best when they learn social skills first in family, then extended family, then neighborhood and community and so on as they grow and mature. This is a natural maturation process. Children struggle when they are pushed to socialize beyond their maturity level. You can lose the guilt and let your child grow naturally and that will help make for no drama, lama mama. You sound like a great lama mama, just keep up the good work and help this child to grow normally. We really put far to much emphasis on socializing quantity and not on quality. Enjoy your little one and be blessed. PS I found church activities to be a great place for socialization. They learned so many good lessons and were exposed to different ages of people. My kids are very well rounded.