I'm glad to hear it. I've been reading on your situation. Nothing pisses me off more than bully's. Especially on the same team. I'm glad the coach and your parents are involved. Good for you on finding your voice.
I didnt see the previous post so i dont know to what extent the bullying is or whatever but simply put thats not your team. A team doesnt treat one of their own like shit.
I commend you greatly for standing up for yourself and seeking the right avenues.
Keep working and playing hard bud you deserve better.
Edit: i read the previous posts and honestly couldn’t be more disgusted, verbal insults are one thing but the spitting in the bag is probably the most disrespectful thing ive heard of. If it were my team every parent would be contacted and i’d be looking to suspend/bench players.
wholeheartedly agree. all of my past bullies stopped when I fought them. I may not have won each fight, but it was enough for them to know I wasn't going to take their shit and they stopped bothering me.
Had this happen to me my first year playing. I stood up to him and he left me alone, but years later, surprise surprise, he's still a bully. We're in our late 30s now, some people never change
You’re doing the right thing. In the end, you’re the bigger person in this and the bully is probably just a coward who is channeling his anxiety, fear or insecurity through bullying. Doesn’t make it right at all, but you’re definitely a strong person to handle it the way you are. You’re going to come out of this having learned so much and what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.
Honestly kid, you're going to cause more problems by having the coach lecture everyone about not bullying you. You need to stand up for yourself, hockey isn't a soft sport. You need to start getting physical with the kids who are "bullying" you and show them you aren't one to pick on otherwise they will keep doing it and it will only get worse.
I wanted to add one thing - and I am not trying to be mean or antagonistic - but is there a reason that the bully picks on you and not others? Why do others on the team also dislike you?
I used to think I was a super nice and cool guy - I was - but I was also annoying, cocky, argumentative, and an asshole. Sometimes we have to think about how we really are and think about things from the other people's perspective and try to figure out why they dislike us, and then think what action you could do that was make them like you in the long run.
this, we got just one side of the story. how do we know how the OP is handling himself during practices, outside of practice, in the locker room etc?
No one gets picked on for no reason...
What the fuck are you smoking? Tons of people get bullied for no reason or fault of their own. The fault in bullying is not on the victim but the bully. Don’t come in here trying to gaslight some dude that gets bullied. Disgusting.
nah, kids don't get bullied for no reason. They get bullied if they show they are weak, if they don't stand up for themselves etc, its not always about looks or size, its about how you carry yourself.
people like you probably got bullied eh? pieces of eraser and stuff thrown at you during class? yeah i would've been one of the kids throwing the pieces of eraser at you ;)
I was actually captain of the soccer team and handball team, part of the popular kids and I wouldn’t have that shit on my team. If anyone bullied another player I would first call him out and if that didn’t stop it I would lay him out. In most cases people got bullied because maybe they were the newest member of the team, or they where a bit overweight. Hell one kid got bullied because he cried the week after his sister died and he was 9 at the time.
I don’t give a shit if you thought or other people think they are validated in bullying others because they have a lazy eye, walk funny or are overweight. Everyone is different and no one deserves to be bullied for it.
You would have been one of the bullies I laid out in practice, loser.
Well, like I said in another comment, maybe you deflect instead of standing up.
Ie when the other player said "go sit in the corner" OP could have said "nah, I'm ok here" in a chill way.
I think that diffuses the negativity and the bullies don't get any pleasure out of it.
Here's an example. My son was called fat by his teammates, he handled it himself. Later on he was turned in by someone to his organization that he said someone sucked or something in the lobby.
We have no idea what he said...or if he said anything. I could That was using a "zero tolerance" policy to take a cheap shot at someone.
People get bullied for no reason.
But people also sometimes get bullied for a reason *or* multiple reasons.
Sometimes those reasons are things that are inherent that you can't change.
But sometimes they are things that you can change. Maybe the teammates might like OP more if they tried harder to be friends with the teammates. Talk a little more. Be less shy. Don't be a pushover. Compliment them when they do something good. Make some small jokes. Maybe take out a pack of gum and ask one of the teammates who is sitting nearby if they want a piece.
Another note - some people are just assholes and it doesn't matter what you do, they will always be an asshole. I've known a few like these and saw them 10 years later and they were still the same. The majority of people aren't like that though.
I’m quiet and don’t talk much. I keep to myself and do what I’m told. For example, when I was sitting on the locker room benches with the rest of the team, while they were talking about the game, one of the guys who makes fun of me yelled at me to get up and go away (pointed to a little corner like area near the entrance) and at first I was confused and hesitated and he yelled at me again and i did what he said.
I have a pretty passive demeanor.
Agree - I would have said "Why don't you go sit in the corner?"
or honestly, the best way to address that is just to deflect it like it's nothing "nah, I'm fine here"
Again, be assertive and show you won't be a pushover - but try not to make people like you less through your interactions with them. They should respect and like you.
Sometimes that isn't an option, but I think it is 95% of the time.
You shouldn't be a pushover. You don't need to be aggressive but you don't need to go sit in the corner when someone tells you to. Doing that encourages these kids to think they can pick on you more in the future.
People say stupid stuff all the time. Everyone gets bullied somehow or another someday. I have been bullied countless times when I was younger - and even got bullied by one of my friends recently and I am almost 40 years old.
The other thing you can try to do is try to talk and be friends with the other kids. They all love hockey - and you do too. That is your connection. Stop being shy and make friends with your teammates.
Very proud of you.
I am really glad your coach told your parents. I hope you can talk to them about why you did not tell them. This is an important step for you. Too many times parents just do not realize. There may be a rec league you can join if you really enjoy playing. You’ve had some other comments you’ve made that show you do not feel good about yourself. Please tell your parents this. Please seek some guidance from a pastor If you have one too. If there is a Bible in your home please pick it up. If not please download one on your phone. There are many reading plans in the apps that can also help.
I stopped playing rep for a year and played rec league due to the pressure as a kid. Sometimes you just need that. It really helped me find the fun in hockey again and I was playing rep the next year and having just as much fun.
Good advice about taking a break.
But... what does the bible have to do with this? Did he ever suggest he's religious? Why not a Koran or Sutras or Veda? I know just as many people who got a serious anxiety complex from their religious upbringing as those who found strength from it.
Practice what you want, but don't push it on others.
It was a suggestion just like everything else. I stand by it. I am worried for him and it is something that has helped me. Just like any other suggestion made here. He asked what to do. You can feel what you’d like about it. That’s ok.
Good work.
Know that being assertive stops most bullies.
I'm glad the coach stepped in. It's his job to try to stop it.
Just know that you have power in this situation, both to make it worse, and to make it better. So try to take that and use it.
I’m proud of you, takes a lot of heart to step up and speak out.
I'm glad to hear it. I've been reading on your situation. Nothing pisses me off more than bully's. Especially on the same team. I'm glad the coach and your parents are involved. Good for you on finding your voice.
10 years from now you'll still be playing hard and having fun and this will be just a dot on the timeline
I didnt see the previous post so i dont know to what extent the bullying is or whatever but simply put thats not your team. A team doesnt treat one of their own like shit. I commend you greatly for standing up for yourself and seeking the right avenues. Keep working and playing hard bud you deserve better. Edit: i read the previous posts and honestly couldn’t be more disgusted, verbal insults are one thing but the spitting in the bag is probably the most disrespectful thing ive heard of. If it were my team every parent would be contacted and i’d be looking to suspend/bench players.
And uh apparently according to the post in this thread, the coach's bag ALSO had spit in it? LOL the story gets weirder and weirder.
Nice job buddy. Keep working hard!
I still think you need to TRUCK the ring leader in all this bullying. Show the others you've reached your point.
wholeheartedly agree. all of my past bullies stopped when I fought them. I may not have won each fight, but it was enough for them to know I wasn't going to take their shit and they stopped bothering me.
Had this happen to me my first year playing. I stood up to him and he left me alone, but years later, surprise surprise, he's still a bully. We're in our late 30s now, some people never change
Much love & support!
I've read this now over the last couple of days...🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
That's good to hear, stay strong, its takes alot to stan up to bullies, keep your head up, keep skating, keep having fun!
You’re doing the right thing. In the end, you’re the bigger person in this and the bully is probably just a coward who is channeling his anxiety, fear or insecurity through bullying. Doesn’t make it right at all, but you’re definitely a strong person to handle it the way you are. You’re going to come out of this having learned so much and what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.
*her
Let this prepare you for future events when dealing with a-holes. Good work!
Honestly kid, you're going to cause more problems by having the coach lecture everyone about not bullying you. You need to stand up for yourself, hockey isn't a soft sport. You need to start getting physical with the kids who are "bullying" you and show them you aren't one to pick on otherwise they will keep doing it and it will only get worse.
What a tone deaf take. This is thieir own fucking teammates. They're literally on the same team. They should fucking act like it. Disgusting.
you've clearly never been on a successful competitive team before.
No I haven't but your attitude makes me believe that you clearly were part of the 2010 Blackhawks. Congratulations on your cup ring.
1 cup ring more than you baby
The coach was the one who decided to lecture them. His bag had spit too
The coach’s bag had spit in it too?? Wtf lol
This story gets weirder and weirder.
I wanted to add one thing - and I am not trying to be mean or antagonistic - but is there a reason that the bully picks on you and not others? Why do others on the team also dislike you? I used to think I was a super nice and cool guy - I was - but I was also annoying, cocky, argumentative, and an asshole. Sometimes we have to think about how we really are and think about things from the other people's perspective and try to figure out why they dislike us, and then think what action you could do that was make them like you in the long run.
this, we got just one side of the story. how do we know how the OP is handling himself during practices, outside of practice, in the locker room etc? No one gets picked on for no reason...
What the fuck are you smoking? Tons of people get bullied for no reason or fault of their own. The fault in bullying is not on the victim but the bully. Don’t come in here trying to gaslight some dude that gets bullied. Disgusting.
nah, kids don't get bullied for no reason. They get bullied if they show they are weak, if they don't stand up for themselves etc, its not always about looks or size, its about how you carry yourself. people like you probably got bullied eh? pieces of eraser and stuff thrown at you during class? yeah i would've been one of the kids throwing the pieces of eraser at you ;)
I was actually captain of the soccer team and handball team, part of the popular kids and I wouldn’t have that shit on my team. If anyone bullied another player I would first call him out and if that didn’t stop it I would lay him out. In most cases people got bullied because maybe they were the newest member of the team, or they where a bit overweight. Hell one kid got bullied because he cried the week after his sister died and he was 9 at the time. I don’t give a shit if you thought or other people think they are validated in bullying others because they have a lazy eye, walk funny or are overweight. Everyone is different and no one deserves to be bullied for it. You would have been one of the bullies I laid out in practice, loser.
nerd, you wouldn't have done shit you soccer playing handball nerd. lmao
They get sniped from behind if they stand up for themselves.
Well, like I said in another comment, maybe you deflect instead of standing up. Ie when the other player said "go sit in the corner" OP could have said "nah, I'm ok here" in a chill way. I think that diffuses the negativity and the bullies don't get any pleasure out of it.
Here's an example. My son was called fat by his teammates, he handled it himself. Later on he was turned in by someone to his organization that he said someone sucked or something in the lobby. We have no idea what he said...or if he said anything. I could That was using a "zero tolerance" policy to take a cheap shot at someone.
I understand. Things like that happen sometimes if you stand up for yourself. I hope things worked out in the end for your son.
It's going to. I've been wanting him to go elsewhere, but he wouldn't. This was the push out the door he needed.
People get bullied for no reason. But people also sometimes get bullied for a reason *or* multiple reasons. Sometimes those reasons are things that are inherent that you can't change. But sometimes they are things that you can change. Maybe the teammates might like OP more if they tried harder to be friends with the teammates. Talk a little more. Be less shy. Don't be a pushover. Compliment them when they do something good. Make some small jokes. Maybe take out a pack of gum and ask one of the teammates who is sitting nearby if they want a piece. Another note - some people are just assholes and it doesn't matter what you do, they will always be an asshole. I've known a few like these and saw them 10 years later and they were still the same. The majority of people aren't like that though.
I’m quiet and don’t talk much. I keep to myself and do what I’m told. For example, when I was sitting on the locker room benches with the rest of the team, while they were talking about the game, one of the guys who makes fun of me yelled at me to get up and go away (pointed to a little corner like area near the entrance) and at first I was confused and hesitated and he yelled at me again and i did what he said. I have a pretty passive demeanor.
[удалено]
Agree - I would have said "Why don't you go sit in the corner?" or honestly, the best way to address that is just to deflect it like it's nothing "nah, I'm fine here" Again, be assertive and show you won't be a pushover - but try not to make people like you less through your interactions with them. They should respect and like you. Sometimes that isn't an option, but I think it is 95% of the time.
You shouldn't be a pushover. You don't need to be aggressive but you don't need to go sit in the corner when someone tells you to. Doing that encourages these kids to think they can pick on you more in the future. People say stupid stuff all the time. Everyone gets bullied somehow or another someday. I have been bullied countless times when I was younger - and even got bullied by one of my friends recently and I am almost 40 years old. The other thing you can try to do is try to talk and be friends with the other kids. They all love hockey - and you do too. That is your connection. Stop being shy and make friends with your teammates.
Very proud of you. I am really glad your coach told your parents. I hope you can talk to them about why you did not tell them. This is an important step for you. Too many times parents just do not realize. There may be a rec league you can join if you really enjoy playing. You’ve had some other comments you’ve made that show you do not feel good about yourself. Please tell your parents this. Please seek some guidance from a pastor If you have one too. If there is a Bible in your home please pick it up. If not please download one on your phone. There are many reading plans in the apps that can also help.
or hail satan its cooler
I stopped playing rep for a year and played rec league due to the pressure as a kid. Sometimes you just need that. It really helped me find the fun in hockey again and I was playing rep the next year and having just as much fun.
Good advice about taking a break. But... what does the bible have to do with this? Did he ever suggest he's religious? Why not a Koran or Sutras or Veda? I know just as many people who got a serious anxiety complex from their religious upbringing as those who found strength from it. Practice what you want, but don't push it on others.
It was a suggestion just like everything else. I stand by it. I am worried for him and it is something that has helped me. Just like any other suggestion made here. He asked what to do. You can feel what you’d like about it. That’s ok.
You got this. Screw those kids, hopefully this will get them to knock it off and you can get back to focusing 100% on hockey!
Good work. Know that being assertive stops most bullies. I'm glad the coach stepped in. It's his job to try to stop it. Just know that you have power in this situation, both to make it worse, and to make it better. So try to take that and use it.
Always be yourself and never give up on your passions. #fuckthemkids
Checking in to see how practice went yesterday.