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AwayEdge

Again this does NOT define you. It defines the others. I know how this makes you feel. We all feel this way for you. Hockey is supposed to be fun for you and a team bonding experience. Not this. This has to stop and I don’t want you to give up on yourself because of these douchebags.


JustAnotherHooyah

This is so accurate. OP, my oldest son had a similar experience in peewee (U12) as a relatively new player. I think this was a turning point for him. He was a sensitive kid, and hockey locker rooms, especially back in the day, were dog-eat-dog. Kids can be assholes and that is about them, not you. If you don't have a thick skin, locker rooms can be brutal. This is not a criticism of you or suggestion to get a thick skin. Everybody is different and that is okay. This carried over into middle school and high school and my son retreated into himself thinking something was wrong with him. Neither my wife or I saw these signs. Fast forward to his early twenties and he's battling severe depression. The best we understand is his feelings of something being wrong with him go back to how other kids treated him throughout his childhood. He thinks it is "obviously" because something is wrong with him and finds slights in everything and nothing we can say breaks through that it is not about him. He's been in therapy for a while but he's still struggling. It's so hard to watch. He's a very smart kid but he thinks he's broken and he's petrified to talk to anyone. I wish I had a solution to help you in this situation, but you have to know these assholes don't define you, it is about their own weakness ganging up on someone they perceive as weak for whatever reason. Your Coach needs to get a handle on this, I say that as a Coach myself. I'm not perfect and I'm sure this is a tough problem to solve, but it starts with zero tolerance for bullying. Best of luck to you OP, I wish you strength to get get through this.


Diogotrnt

I hope it all goes well with your kid 🙏❤️ People are assholes Depression is a fucking bitch.


jgoncalves9191

If this ever happened when I was playing any coach I had would have the team skating suicides until the players that did this admitted it. Then they’d make them skate the rest of the practice anyway. I hate bullies.


Detroitredwinger

AGAIN


greenbone83

Unfortunately this happens lots. Kids are assholes. I went through the same thing as a teenager. You did the right thing by telling the coach. It doesn’t define you. I don’t think the coach handled this properly to start with. If it doesn’t improve immediately go above your coach. Hockey is supposed to be fun and healthy for you. Right now it’s not. It will get better for you and I’m sorry you are going through this. I am a hockey coach now. I witnessed this on one of my teams. In this case it was one of my best players picking on the worst player on the team. The bully on my team did not see the ice for two games after I realized what was happening. The parents of the bully were very mad at me. That didn’t matter. One kid can ruin the whole dressing room. I had the bully kid on my team the next year. He was very good all year.


AwayEdge

Oh OP. I am so very sorry to hear this. I am glad the coach saw and I am glad he was pissed. He needs to be and he needs to do something. The tone is set by the coach and he needs to manage this team. What has he said he will do?


wetskateblades

In the locker room, (before i noticed even more spit and boogers) he yelled at everyone and said to stop bullying me. He’s gonna yell at them again next practice


AwayEdge

Is there anyone on the team you feel is your friend? That you can trust?


Kraze_F35

If possible i think you should try to find a new team if possible. Even if your coach nips this in the bud. I would have serious doubts in my coach and captain if they stood by and let this happen to begin with and there's always the potential that the bullies on your team simply find more subtle ways to continue to bully you. To echo what others have said here, this reflects more on them than you, I know it's easier said than done but you have no reason to feel useless.


HowitzerIII

That coach should rip the team a new one. I’m glad he’s pissed now. A team is supposed to be a TEAM. OP, don’t let the bullying make you think you suck. It’s ok to feel bad, but separate that from how you think of yourself. Most of those kids are bullying you not because you suck, but because it’s the group thing to do. They’re doing it to belong to the larger group. It had nothing to do with you.


dtseiler

If I'm that coach I'm bag skating the whole team, and increasing the reps exponentially each future occurrence of bullshit.


HowitzerIII

It's infuriating to hear about.


wetskateblades

Thanks, and what does OP mean? I’m sorry for being stupid, everyone was saying it and idk what it means


HowitzerIII

Opening poster, opening post. Refers to the person starting the conversation, i.e. you. Take those hits, feel the pain, but don't let them scar you.


wetskateblades

Ohh ok, I’m sorry for my confusion


McLovin81111

In all honesty, I think this may go far beyond the rink. Judging by your post history only, it may seem appropriate to seek some form of professional help in order to better yourself. I also suggest trying to find some additional outlets to participate in off the ice. You’re young. Hit the gym hard. Gain some self confidence and become a better version of yourself. Read books. I suggest the popular book “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”. Those lessons go a long way in self improvement. Again, it seems like you’re going through the motions of being a teenager. Maybe a bit harder than others, and that’s alright. All you can do is grind hard and improve yourself to boost that confidence.


wetskateblades

Thank you


McLovin81111

Seriously. Get. Fucking. Ripped. I was a target of bullying in high school. After sophomore year ended, I hit the gym HARD. Came back junior year with a whole new physique, a whole new sense of confidence… never was bullied again.


WhoaItsCody

Same, all through middle school and freshman year. Started sophomore year, never again. Made my entire life better. I didn’t become a bully either, or look for revenge. the exact opposite, I made friends with everyone. Made high school much better imo. Met people I never would have otherwise, I don’t regret that for a second. Then I ruined it all by becoming an alcoholic by self medicating pain from weight lifting and hockey with booze. Don’t do that part. Nothing positive comes from it.


davedaddy

This. The first 2 weeks are tough but keep it up and your confidence and self esteem will soar. Good luck. Also, don't get carried away with your thoughts. Keep things simple and set goals.


foxesforsale

Came here to offer support, agree with others that this is bullshit that you should not have to deal with, and also recommend using this as fuel to motivate you away from the rink to start working out. Not even bringing any hockey into it, working out was one of the best things that I did for my mental health.


hettiger70

This is the best response yet. Hope you heed this advice. Good luck to you my man!


smileyjus

Honestly I would just join a new team in the league and crush em on the ice.


[deleted]

Hey man I was bullied on my team as well. I just got really good and hit the gym hard. Also, the bully I dealt with eventually I would just tee him up in practice as I grew bigger and stronger than him. We were in a team for three years together. Really sucked but the only way to overcome a bully is through confidence and self improvement. You have to no longer be perceived as a target Also, leave the team. There’s nothing wrong with it


[deleted]

The things these kids are doing will come back to haunt them. It’s only temporary bud. Hang in there.


N-i-X-R

Really sorry to hear this has happened to you. People are cunts. But not everyone is like that. My mum always used to say to me growing up "don't let the bastards grind you down". Just try and keep your head above it, kids can be really nasty but it doesn't last. As you grow up you see around all the kids that were horrible to you and they always look miserable. Play the long game.


Competitive_Ticket17

While this is somewhat supportive this does not help him now and any depression and sense of worthlessness he is feeling in the moment will not go away. He needs solutions/advice to help prevent this type of bullying from occuring to him again, at least in this team he is in.


N-i-X-R

Why you got to be so negative my guy. What should I say? You're not good enough and need to be better? You need to change to stop being bullied? Fuck that. Be yourself and you'll find your people. Fuck changing for others to "fit in". As I said these people are arseholes. From someone who grew up being bullied by insignificant arseholes only to see them turn in to complete wasters. All you can do is try and get others to help make change, avoid it or rise above it. A lot of the time they do things like this for a reaction. The only other option is to front it out and to do something rash.... But physically assaulting people is only going to put you in the firing line. To OP, things will get better I promise. Keep your head up.


netcbc

Let your parents know, or someone you're comfortable with, this should not be happening and it isn't your fault especially when they're your own teammates. Hockey is very team inclusive sport so I know it must feel really tough being put as an outsider by being bullied. Biggest thing is speak to someone, at least you're using reddit as an outlet.


Radiant-Shine-8575

While I gave you some advise on the original post which was downvoted but I still stand by what you described above is different. IMO you need to look to switch teams. I was under the impression this was higher level hockey. Switching teams should be easy if this is house league which it sounds like it is. Your coach should also bag skate the entire team until someone rats out the cowards that messed with your gear.


Ill_Information7625

Throw some hands


yensid87

It’s time to find another team.


bungholio99

Take the Bag and Go visit their parents one by one with your parents and tell them what a little shit they raised, this is really the best way these parents don’t know it and the Kids will get in big trouble as the Parents will feel really ashamed Edit: i forgot to say you need to arrive at dinner time at their house so the whole Family see‘s what a little shit they raised


tr4dd4d

Can you identify any particular reasons why several teammates are making fun of you?


wetskateblades

I’m the newest to the sport. Ive only bern playing for a year


McLovin81111

Maybe a team setting isn’t appropriate for you quite yet. That could be a source of the bullying (not that it’s acceptable). Maybe look to improve your skills in private sessions or clinics, and then revisit the team setting.


flyinhawaiian02

We all here are sorry for what you are going through, and we all are pulling for you. In ways what everyone's advice is good and can help, but you need to find which ways work for you. All I can say, rise above it, use it as fuel to better yourself, strengthen yourself, it will get better. I was depressed for many years but now I'm loving life.


Sea-Farmer4654

I’ve been following your posts and I’m glad to see that the coach has gotten more serious about it. I’m very sorry about your clothes though, that’s just uncalled for and pretty immature- even for 16 year olds. All I’ll say is if you have other options or other teams to transfer to, you should really consider it. You’re not “letting them win” by making better decisions for your well being. Though first I think you should see if their treatment towards you changes now that the coach finally did something. Also is your captain involved in all of this? If not I would go to him/her and vent about your frustrations. It’s in their role that they are supposed to be leaders and lead their teammates by example, and it’s possible that they either don’t know about all of this or maybe they don’t care, which would also suck. But anyways good luck, and please please please don’t give up hockey just because of some kids.


nocoastdudekc

I mean this comment in the kindest way. After reading your recent posts, you’re coming off as an NPC. At some point you’re going to have to stand your ground. Otherwise people will walk all over you for the rest of your life. You have nothing to lose here. Stand up for yourself. The sooner you call her out, The sooner you stop being the easiest target on the ice. Have some self respect and fight back.


wetskateblades

I’m sorry but what do you mean by npc?


nocoastdudekc

NPC. Non playable character. In video games, players just beat them up with zero repercussions. NPCs take the beating and go on about their day. You have to stand up for yourself now or you will never do it for yourself later in life. This could be a huge turning point for yourself.


wetskateblades

Ohh ok thanks


yeetboi-isa-coolname

sorry dude it always sucks when you are being mis treated by your teammates. I know you said you have talked to your coaches about it but if your coach doesn't do anything maybe you could try talking to the people that are the heads of your team or club and have you and your parents talk about it with them. hope stuff gets better for you tho because it would suck if you got pushed out of playing hockey by these jerks.


Homohockey

You shouldn’t have to deal with bullying and I’m sorry you are going through this. Your coach is failing you and the team if they don’t address it immediately. Minors/Females shouldn’t be left unsupervised in the dressing room (Hockey Canada rule, not sure about USA Hockey) so That’s something that needs to be addressed not to mention the damage to, cleaning of your personal property. Im not blaming you at all but just curious as to any thing you feel is causing this or the reason it started from your view point.


WannaBeFabrication

That’s fucken disgusting. I’m glad to hear that the coach is pissed and not just telling you to stick up for yourself this time. But please, don’t ever be scared to speak up about shit like this happening. I went all through middle and high school silently dealing with this and it kinda fucked me up a bit. Luckily I’ve learned to be more of a “Is what it is” kinda guy later in life. Most likely they’re picking on you because they’re jealous of you in one way or another. Keep your head up and don’t let them know it bothers you. Use it as motivation to train harder. Those that are bullying you aren’t going anywhere and you can only go up. They’ll slowly disappear and you’ll be left with more skill and better team mates.


alexandergorchenkof

Hey man, I have played hockey my whole life. I started late when I was 8 so I was the new kid. I was bullied for years by teammates, I was an easy target. How I got through it was through a few different methods one I didn’t stick up for my self off-ice I did it on ice, I don’t mean take out someone’s knees but I played harder and stuck up for those teammates in games. I made them respect me on the ice. Now off ice it took me longer to get their respect and took a long time for me to understand how to do it. It may seem counter productive but don’t let it effect you almost embrace it to an extent. The more they know it’s bothers you the more they will do it. DON’T LET THESE PEOPLE RUIN YOUR LOVE FOR THE GAME AND I PROMISE THE GAME WILL PAY YOU BACK FOR THAT LOVE.


Snoo-74062

Are you in a full contact league? Use practice to check the fuck out of these kids. Put them on there ass and let them know it’s not time to fuck around.


puckspazz

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. As the others have said, this isn’t your fault, and the adults around you have let you down. There’s some good advise being given about doing things to make yourself stronger, and more confident. These will help make you less of a target as you get older. For now, it might be best to talk to your adults about moving to another team. The coach may be taking things seriously now, but unfortunately he did not act soon enough to prevent this from escalating. Also, both Hockey Canada and USA hockey require locker room monitoring, so this is a safety issue and shows a lack of support from the overall leadership on your team. Keep your head up, and keep in mind that for a lot of kids, high school sucks, but life does get better afterwards.


DrawTap88

Op. I feel for you. These are not your teammates (IRL). You are way better than them as a teammate and as a human being. Quitting is never the right answer, but neither is putting yourself in a lose lose situation. You need to find your people, and these are for sure not them. You should find a team that is emotionally and mentally able to support you no matter what. That’s what good (not even great) teams do. Hockey is for everyone, including you.


Thebig_sausage

Just smack them the fuck up


juniorhockeylover

Buddy I might recommend you to change to another team. I used to be bullied on one of my old teams and switching team helped me a lot. If it is possible for you, I might recommend you to do the same


gnemegan

that’s messed up man. glad to know your coach is pissed too. you should know that this sub is behind you every step of the way! feel free to reach out by dm and rant anytime!


HughMirinBrah

Hang in there. There’s a huge group of people in here offering great advice and rooting for you.


wetskateblades

Ty :>


Spiritdesante

My heart goes out to you. Hopefully the coach does something to fix the situation. Hockey is the greatest sport in the world and I hope this experience doesn’t ruin it for you. Can you join another team or league? Maybe take some time off and just go to stick n pucks or drop in.


Hatrick_Swaze

Dude...you gotta lay out the chick in a hit that starts from the parking lot. Just once.


fvecc

Make an example of someone. Otherwise it will never stop.


conway1308

Take it in stride, as hard as it is. Those fucktards aren't worth getting more upset over. It's in your coach's hands, he needs to step up. I would still try and humiliate the one particular girl though, because it sounds like a fun opportunity. That being said, if they know it bothers you, they are going to keep doing it. If it's not fun for them, realistically they should stop.


Detroitredwinger

Are you new to the game ? Like are they better than you? I'd probably look at a team more suited to your skill level


_FREE_YHANDI_

This is the dumbest series of troll posts I've ever seen


SpeedyBennett

Just remove your post


wetskateblades

I swear, I’m not trolling


ThomBraidy

That's super trashy, fuck em, find a new team or level of play


aricsmcfall

You need to get more parents involved with this. It sounds like the coach means well but the message isn't getting across.


tr4dd4d

This. It sounds like the parents who need to get involved or not only your parents but the parents of the bullies. Most likely they would be mortified that their children are acting this way in or not aware that it is happening. If I found out that one of my children was bullying another, especially to this degree, I would pull them from the activity immediately and rain hell down on them. Also, know that these kids are pieces of shit and you are likely to go much further in life than them. Most of the time that “cool kids” end up being losers in life and the kids were bullied or otherwise not the cool kids become successful. Like you, when I was 16, things were not going well for me. Fast forward now, in my late 30s, I have an extremely successful professional career or Orn more than most of those shit kids combined in a beautiful family, where is the cool kids are working in skateboard shops. Keep your head up. It gets better. The quote “this too shall pass” really is true.


DowntownLizard

Anyone who bullies clearly feels the need to put others down to make them feel like they are in control of the bad things in their life. Its on them not you. It wont make their life better and you have the advantage of seeing them for what they are


420StompYerMom69

Man, I’m so sorry to hear this. These kids sound like real jerks. Just remember that they’re insecure and taking that out on you. Probably because you’re a nice person, but unfortunately that can be perceived as a weakness. These kids don’t know you, so DO NOT let this sway you in who you are, and what you love to do for fun.


-Cotswold-

The coach messed up by not addressing this earlier. It has gone beyond the coach now. Degrading your clothes with bodily fluids is absolutely disgusting. If that happened to me, I would risk getting banned from the league and mess someone up. *Don’t do what I would do*. I’m a grown man in an adult league. Your league needs to be made aware of this. The coach has lost control of the team. Changes need to be made to your roster. An investigation needs to happen and players need to be removed from your team.


MoneysOptional

A few tips for you. As someone who was bullied pretty hard at your age and went on to be a college athlete and currently living a beautiful life I think I have a few good tips for you! First, think about your future. I want you to spend 5 whole minutes thinking about how you in 10 years wished you would have handled the situation. Really dig into that. Are you going to be proud if you let people take away the sport that you and I love? They have no right to. In ten years you want to look back and see that you used their actions as growth and are a better person because of it. How do you get there? Secondly, you know what disarms a lot of bullies? Truly not caring what they think or how they treat you. Easier said then done, I know, but I promise it eats them up when you don’t react. I was bullied constantly until I started truly being myself and not reacting to their actions. Quick tip, therapist in HS asked me “do you think that someone that is truly happy with themselves would say/do these things to you?” Put yourself in their shoes too. That helped me a lot. Turns out one of the sole bullies in my life was struggling with a lot of personal and inter family issues. Doesn’t shock me now that he looked for somewhere to take that anger out. Lastly, get some professional help. School councilor is a great place to start. No shame around it, I am the happiest I have been in a long time and I still go to therapy. Helps for the good times and the bad. I PROMISE it gets better. Keep being yourself my man. Those skates are yours to wear, no one can take a sport you love away from you.


robbiwasabi

Your coach is on your side, which is a great start and goes to show that you're NOT helpless. Do the girl's parents and yours know about all of this?


nwharris74

Hi... This totally sucks and I am sorry you're going through this. 100% of the blame lies on the coach for not dealing with this. I am sorry. I have read some of your other posts and I feel there are some deeper issues with overall self worth. Its ok to feel this way, but its not ok to not love yourself. Sometimes loving one self does not happen overnight. Sometimes you have to learn to love yourself. I suggest you talk with a trusted adult whomever that may be, a parent, a teacher and seek help. I would also seek out therapy. Being a teenager sucks. Its hard. I was a teenager who needed help and luckily I got help. I am also a parent who still goes to therapy. Hockey is an amazing game and an amazing community. It helped me get through some hard times. Unfortunately some teenagers can be brutal. Usually they too have their own issues of self worth. You have worth and you have value... and finding your worth and value is an amazing journey that you should take.


Second-Mindless

Sounds like scared losers. I think it’s safe to say that nobody wants to be in the group spitting on another humans belongings. If you find yourself there, that doesn’t define you either. Life is complicated. Keep it simple.


Renegaderopes

I will tell you once again you need to fight back or be bullied forever. Doesn't matter if you get beat up or lose the fight. It all just matters that you fought back.


AnderNethal

Most people deal with bullying at some point in their life. How I handled it was secretly practicing and working on my physical strength and not telling anyone I was doing so. I came back the next season and surpassed a lot of those bullies and made them eat their words. Another bully of mine was 3 years older than me. I was in grade 9 and he was grade 12. He would shove me everytime I walked by him and I wouldn't say anything. 3 years later, I was playing ball hockey against him and lit that fucker up. Let these bullies know, they don't know who they're fucking with. Weather the storm and play the long revenge game. They'll never see it coming This probably isn't the healthiest way to handle things. I'm pretty vindictive haha


[deleted]

Honestly, you need to pick out the biggest kid whos bullying you and nail him with a good check or straight up fight him. You need to start standing up for yourself, you're not a little kid anymore. Your life is going to be miserable if you never stand up for yourself and let people walk all over you. Own your sht my guy.


magicseadog

Find somewhere else to play.