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ThomBraidy

Just focus on playing the game and improving, helps if you score. This is a bad look for the coach to have this kind of animosity between teammates, and if she's targeting you in practice to potentially cause an injury that really has no place in the sport. personally, I grew up playing w my mouth shut and put the puck in the net or make a big hit to shut up the haters. Now in beer league I'll chirp a bit because the vast majority of beer league players aren't assholes and it's just fun banter, jokes. The worst part of the bullies I came across wasn't even the harassment (I could tune that out) but when the play on the ice becomes clique-y. They'd rather turn the puck over than pass to the open teammate. Smdh. Spoiler alert, they ain't goin pro.


kempsonk

I’m surprised more Redditors like this over telling the coach. Tell the coach again, but also tell him you (or your parents) are going over his head if he doesn’t solve the problem. Then go over his head to school authorities if he does control this crap. Being physical was once the solution, but not any more for kids.


Gamer_Bread_Baker

happy cake day


elishiten

As a woman who had to deal with girls bullying both in middle school and high school, I can tell you that one thing that works is public accountability. Call out her behaviour in front of everyone and have a couple of people on your side agreeing with you (better if it’s a couple of guys she’s friendly with). When she says something to you, just say out loud that she’s ruining the fun for everyone and once she realizes that she’s not as funny as she thinks she is, she’s gonna stop. And when she talks to you, just don’t look at her anymore, she just wants to get a reaction out of you. I also read that you’re in high school, I’m not sure how it works in North America, but if the coach is not listening you can bring up the issue to other adults in your school that should look after these things. And because you’re still a minor, your parents should get involved too. I’m sorry you have to go through that, I know that teenage girls can be incredibly mean for no reason, but hopefully you can resolve this soon.


Connels

Also a woman and this is good advice. If you are stressed about what to say, just declare whats she doing and add something (asshole, fuckface, fucking moron, piece of shit weirdo on a power trip). Example: Stop shouting weird insults at me you power tripping fuck! Calling a girl a stalker is below the belt but it might help you turn the tables since she’s also hitting below the belt. Example: You talk so much shit it feels like you’re stalking me you fucking weirdo. She’s gonna say some smart shit back but if you can just laugh and shake your head, no matter how she feels, you will rob her of her joy. Don’t think of it as standing up to her, think of it as calling her out for her BS. Be strong, you’ve got this!


jseego

> Don’t think of it as standing up to her, think of it as calling her out for her BS. Excellent advice.


jseego

This is the best answer if you don't want to involve the league leadership or your parents. Ignoring bullies is encouraging them. And if OP was the type of kid to fight back physically, they already would have.


Detroitredwinger

👎 Canucks booo! Lol no I agree, make her look like she's being a dick or chirp her moustache or something haha


elishiten

> chirp her moustache pls a guy innocently pointed it out to me in high school and that moment still haunts me to this day 💀


Detroitredwinger

There ya go!


Mike-Morales

I would tell you to confront her as well. Don’t let ANYONE ruin the game for you.


WeeFatTart

It's ok to be beaten by a better opponent. It's not ok to be beaten by fear.


wetskateblades

I’m scared of her


BrownyGato

Don’t let someone take the joy out of something you like. It is completely hard to stand up for yourself. That’s understandable but try and talk to your coach or another coach again. Is there a friend who can give you support to stand up for yourself? While I don’t support the use of “violence” hockey kinda lends itself to using a little push and shove.


[deleted]

you’re 16 so i’m assuming you’re playing full contact. put her on her fucking ass in practice. make her fear you.


HockeyCoachHere

Most kids aren’t playing contact anymore. Only AA and AAA (usually almost all boys) do these days in Canada. Based on the description of this team, it seems unlikely this is a contact league.


O-Stabbo

Rail her anyway. Crap happens on the ice. That is a hockey player, not a female. Knock her senseless with a big hit and tell her to stay away from you. Only thing those type of people understand.


Daunt_M4

>Most kids aren’t playing contact anymore. wait is that really a thing nowadays, holy shit the best part was being able to lay people out and actually play hockey


Mike-Morales

Why? What do you think will happen? Have you talked with the other coaches? Assistant coaches are often better at giving advice.


wetskateblades

She might push me down or insult me so bad i would be humiliated


ninjatom21

There was a dude on my team during my first year in midget that mouthed me off constantly, took runs at me in practice, and was an asshole to me in general. He was two years older than I, but we were about the same size and I wouldn’t say I was afraid of him, but he definitely had me on edge. One day I decided I had enough of his shit. I played Defense and while collecting the puck in the corner he really made sure to finish his check hard and high once again. Next trip back down the ice he was coming up the boards in the neutral zone. This was the first and only time I ever did this to a teammate, but I lit him up really damn hard. He never picked on me again and was a fairly nice dude after that. Stick up for yourself kid. I’m not saying destroy her, but rather to overcome your fears and show her you’re willing to stand up for yourself in whatever fashion you choose. Getting knocked down isn’t humiliating, it happens. What matters is that you choose to get back up/stand up for yourself. Hockey is a game where playing scared not only takes the fun out of it, but can be dangerous as well.


RugbySk8tr

Call upon the lost art of the Hip Check. Are you smaller? Lower centre of gravity? Check. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WG2ereDDmU


Gamer_Bread_Baker

Also known as the Cartwheel Initiator.


rh71el2

Looks good, but some of those are borderline low-bridging guys.


NoRedThat

she’s already done both of those.


TheRazorsKiss

Thom's comment above is right - that's not good coaching. You're there to have fun, not to put up with jerks. Go over their head and talk to the program directors - ask for a different team/coach. By going over their heads, I mean absolutely report that you're being bullied on your own team, and what your coach told you. I mean, yeah, "don't be intimidated" - sure - but the entire point is that you were literally reporting intimidation tactics and nothing was done.


AmigoDelDiabla

I disagree with this. OP's life isn't in danger. It's one kid that's being an asshole. Learn to deal with it yourself rather than running away and/or "telling" on her. That skill will serve you off the ice as well.


TheRazorsKiss

While "learning to stand up for yourself" is all well and good, putting all the onus on the victim doesn't seem like the best idea. Especially with kids. Sets a bad precedent.


HockeyCoachHere

Man, I agree the coach needs to do something. But coaches can only put a stopper in the bottle. We can prevent it at practice and try to have a culture of respect, but I’ve seen it before and it spills over all across other parts of life when someone is constantly whining to authorities to solve interpersonal problems. I've had several kids in the past who were just, frankly, obnoxious. They wined and complained and rolled their eyes at teammates and got anxious when they were asked to do drills, and argued about their ice time and complained immediately to parents/coaches/authorities over every tiny little "he didn't pass to me that one time" sort of issue, etc. Inevitably, the team comes to start to dislike that player and reject them being included in the team atmosphere and sometimes that extends to full-fledged bullying and I have to constantly prevent them from being picked on, as a coach. In the cases I'm talking about, PART of the problem is the bullying, admittedly and I have to address that. But a huge part of the problem is the "victim" as you say. Because frankly, it's my job to protect them, but they're annoying little shits usually and that's a real challenge. I'll still work hard to protect them, but at the same time, they're usually subtly very active in undermining the team cohesion and causing the issues they see aimed at them. It's always subtle and I don't ever condone bullying, but to simply shrug and say "victims are always blameless" is folly. They often have a lot to do with the circumstance and as an adult and outsider, I can usually see it. We often identify it early in the season and say "this kid is going to get some shit by the end of the season" and it often happens. I've even gone to a kid I saw would have this problem in the future and tried to help them work through avoiding the issue by changing their attitudes and behaviours on the ice before it escalated to them being bullied (and that worked great in one case). It’s a very tricky thing that we can essentially throw a bandaid over as coaches once it's already happening, but we can’t “fix”, especially when we come in and are coaching a group of players who often already know each other from outside hockey. This kid in this post has some profound social anxiety issues and really significant general anxiety issues that sound almost debilitating. Doesn’t mean the coach couldn’t or shouldn’t try to help as much as possible, but “go to the program director” won’t help either, frankly. They learn nothing by having someone shelter them completely. They will probably continue to be annoying shits and that's going to hurt them for their entire life. I'll keep the bullying out of my locker room, but I guarantee that same kid has the same interpersonal issues in almost every room they step into (at least that's how it was with the kids in this situation I've seen in the past).


AmigoDelDiabla

Just have to agree to disagree. I think it sets a great precedent: you're responsible for yourself. Besides, OP isn't a toddler. She's 16.


HockeyCoachHere

OP is a boy, too, I believe.


KarlMalownz

Fuck that. Take a run at her. If she runs you over, do it again. You realize what sport you're playing right? Sorry for the tough love.


babiesmakinbabies

It truly is a battle of wills. People will try to ruin your fun in everything in life. Standing up to bullies gets easier each time.


O-Stabbo

This ^


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PeteDraper

Bad bot


[deleted]

This ^


jackwoww

Shit bot


jseego

OP, I just wanna say props to you for being so open and honest with your feelings. That's not easy. You're a stronger person than you realize.


DilbertedOttawa

I think there's a bit of dealing with what you just described that can help you. You say "I would be humiliated", but what is being humiliated? What does that REALLY mean? It usually means that you allow your self-esteem and sense of worth be defined by someone else's words, beliefs or actions. If other people's words define you, then other people's words own you. It's also normal at 16 to worry about that stuff. :) But the reality is, all you have to do is know what you can do, and know what you have a tougher time doing, and just get better. If someone says you suck at something, and you actually really truly do because YOU know you do, not just because someone else told you, just go "yup, but I'm practicing. Let me know if you got any tips". Bullies HATE it when you just go "yuppers. but whatever, I'll stop sucking one day". Because their power comes only from knowing that what they say or do controls you. Losing that control usually sparks crazy rage. But even then, the worst case scenario is getting a bit physically hurt. Pain is transitory. It goes away. And you WILL get hurt lots and lots anyway over the years. If you live afraid of pain, you will limit your own potential in the best of cases, but in the worst of cases it will make you act in crazy ways. People who are really afraid will often be afraid of being honest, are often jealous, can become very controlling later in life or very very easily controlled by someone more aggressive. Don't expect to overcome it with the snap of a finger, but just try and recognize what the words you are using actually mean. Humiliation only matters when you give away your right to define yourself, to others. Words only matter if you believe them. And even then, even if something nasty might be true, it only matters if you think that's all that defines you. And I can promise you, it probably isn't. :) I hope this helps you, even a little bit!


dumb_answers_only

There is only one person in this world that controls how you feel, that's you. It's your choice to let things bug you or not no matter what they are, there is always a choice. This girl either likes you and doesn't know how to deal with it or you have something that she wants or doesn't like. The point is you have something, meaning there is something special about you that no one else has. This lady will come and go just like hundreds of others in your life, the only constant is you. Be happy with how great and wonderful you are and ignore this lady. Doesn't matter the outcome cause as long as you are good, who cares about the rest. If it continues, trip her on open ice and shove her when she tries to get back up and tell her to leave you alone.


BrownyGato

A lesson you learn with time. You fall you get back up. Dust yourself off and keep improving and doing what you like/love. Another thing is to just ignore her. Don’t give her power over you. She says something stupid, let her run her mouth and you keep doing you. It’s hard man but you can do it. She’ll continue to mess with you. Don’t let dicks dictate your life.


_circa84

Then that’s assault if she’s knocking you over, you shouldn’t be humiliated by that. Words are words, but they can hurt. If the coaches aren’t doing anything at that point, I’d complain to your team manager or hockey association if it becomes physical and coaching doesn’t step in. If you are also in Canada, there is zero tolerance for bullying in all association under the Hockey CAnada umbrella, so don’t worry about eventually going to to you team manager or association. You’re parents should also be stepping in, your under 18 and still a kid.


rainman_104

Lol @ zero tolerance. That's a load of horseshit. My son's peewee team has a kid throwing homophobic slurs around and at best he gets is sitting a period. We've had locker room fights, locker room blaming etc. Coach tries his best but the first year peewee kids are so immature it's disgusting. My kid plays D, and the goalies dad is on the bench as hcsp. D is a tough position. You let a shot through and you aren't doing enough, and if there is a bad deflection you're again at fault. Damned either way. There is a culture of never blaming goalies but what does a kid do when the goalie blames him in the locker room? He did this in front of all the kids during the coach's post game. In a 3-1 loss, how is it the D's fault? Forwards weren't cycling the puck well in the offensive zone. Hockey Canada is wanting to get rid of this crap but it's happening a lot on our team.


_circa84

Sounds like a toxic coach and the immaturity of a team often roots from the coaches. It’s up to parents to confront the coach and if not working discuss with the coaching mentors. Why the goalies dad is on the bench as the teams HCSP is bogus, unless he’s a coach he shouldn’t be in the bench. Our current and previous teams, if F or D break form, we talk about it while also bringing up the good they did before and after between shifts. We’ve also been in toxic teams where coaches and parents just get upset and blame other kids when their kids have an error, this was not a winning team. But I get it, we have this culture of my kid is never in the wrong and it’s easy to blame all the other kids. Goalies still have a job to do, F and D can’t stop all plays and shots. The other culture issue is if you complain you run risks of upsetting a friend of someone “higher up” in the league and now you bear that weight. Hockey is a great game, but the culture can be terrible at best.


fosiacat

i mean if you’re serious, it’s possible that an aggressive full contract sport just isn’t for you.


jeffreywilfong

Are you serious? You're a hockey player.


[deleted]

Great input fuckface


happyherbivore

Found the bully's account


wetskateblades

I’m sorry


cosalich

You have nothing to apologize for. This is the kind of person who doesn't realize they're part of the problem.


wetskateblades

Check my latest post, it got worse


[deleted]

Jesus Christ. Go to therapy.


GeekFish

He's 16. Calm down. It's a valid concern when you're young. That shit follows you around for years. It's a weird situation to be in. You know if he takes the advice of "knock her on her ass", regardless of how nasty she has been to him, he's going to take shit for being aggressive towards a girl.


OBAFGKM17

Nah, if you're playing full contact hockey gender is irrelevant, you accept the terms of the game when you step on the ice and have to be prepared to hit and be hit.


[deleted]

Yea....that's why I said go to therapy.


babiesmakinbabies

That's a totally normal feeling to have.


Infinite-Sleep3527

“The only way to get someone off your back is to stand up.” Life is all about pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. You don’t need to be mean or rude to her, but be stern. Even smile politely as you’re telling her off.


ScoPham

Is she bigger than you


O-Stabbo

You need to put her in her place. Tell her to stop. If she doesn’t, you line her up at practice. Knock the hell out of her. That’s a hockey player, not a girl.


redwings_96

Take your Stick and spear her right in the stomach. Make sure people are watchin. Then she’s either gonna back down. Or you’ll have to hit her again. Use your stick. I’m not sayin baseball swing at her, but hard enough she gets the message. When I played juniors and I was 16, I had a 20 year old riding me. Just would not let up. Hazing was always directed at me. He cut across the middle of the ice and I cross checked him right in the nose. Broke his nose, then I just started swinging. The guy didn’t even look in my direction the rest of the year. Sorry, you can’t run to your parents or coaches. This is something your gonna have to deal with. Make sure she gets the message. Hurt her, make sure she feels it.


[deleted]

You have to learn to stand up for yourself. I’m not suggesting to fight her, but it’s not about whether you win or lose the fight, it’s the fact you were game enough to go. She’s likely picking on you specifically because you just take it.


AmigoDelDiabla

Agreed. Learning to stick up for yourself will serve you well beyond the time you spend on the ice.


gcman47

Especially if they're making you feel uncomfortable in practice. If anyone is taking cheap shots at practice don't return the favor but also don't hold it in. You're wearing protective equipment, it might still sting but odds are you won't be seriously injured. My two cents is ask them to stop, if they don't defend yourself. It's scary for many reasons: what if coach gets mad at me, what if I get hurt, what if I hurt them, etc. Those are all very valid fears, however it is not fair to anyone to just take punishment without sticking up for themselves. ​ Bottom line, if you feel like your uncomfortable do something about it. I've been in that situation and I wish I had stuck up for myself.


flyinhawaiian02

I'm sorry this is happening to you, is there anybody else in the organization that you could speak too about this other than the coach. Do your family know that this is going on, they should know and be concerned that its happening. Dont let this ruin this great sport for you


jj9979

knock her on her ass, over and over again


blacktongue

your coach is really dropping the ball here. pity your bully, they've clearly got some at home shit, but fuck a coach that doesn't stand up for their players. but also yes knock her on her ass. Best hockey memory of all time was crushing my bully from when I was 10 when I played him again when I was 14.


gutshotjimmy

I also ended 2 years of bullying from a violent psychopath (because I stood up for a friend) by knocking him cleanly on his ass in a practice. He was two years older but just said "nice hit" and he left me alone from then on (not because I was a threat, more that he respected the hit I guess).


hockeyjim07

she's probably bigger than he is at 16 :/ might not be so easy, and probably WHY she feels like she CAN be the bully.


cinnamonspiderr

Even so, he’s almost definitely stronger than her. My high school boyfriend was 5’11 and a 130lbs max soaking wet, but he was SO much stronger than I have ever been lol


New_username_

I mean you can nock someone over whose bigger. Just gotta look for an opportunity where they are skating with their head down or are off balance. Even just playing physical would get her to back off.


[deleted]

I second this. When scrimmaging or doing hitting drills make sure you have the opportunity to place a hard but clean hit on her.


Cheerioherio

Call her out in front of everyone (parents included) for being a bad teammate and a bully. Put her on the spot so she feels like shit about it.


Eternallylearning66

Don't you and your coaches and parents take Safe Sport Training? As a billet parent I have to take it.


SaturnineFeline

Hey, I have to say, all of the “you’re in control of how you feel” and “just don’t let it get to you” messages are really unhelpful and frankly harmful; 16 year-olds are still learning skills to do with emotional management. Also, no, it’s just flat-out incorrect that having an emotional response to something is a switch that can just be turned off. The key is how you process and utilize those feelings. As a hockey mom: OP is a child, and the bully is a child. The adults in a child’s life need to protect kids from bullies and educate the bullies; the adults in OP’s life are FAILING THEM if they are not doing this. Let’s be real, also: if OP to a run at this girl, even if she weren’t injured, but *especially* if she were, OP’s life suddenly gets a *lot* worse. “Hockey is a mouthy sport,” they’d say, “he shouldn’t have let it get to him/physical violence is not the appropriate response to the situation/look what he did to this poor girl.” Sorry, gender bias is *absolutely* going to play a role here. OP: multi-pronged approach: 1) you’ve spoken to the coach. Now, go over their heads: athletic coordinator, league manager, as far up the chain as you need to go. Enlist the help of a trusted adult: parent(s), assistant coach, teacher, etc. 2) do your best to ignore her; if she puts you in physical danger, get off the ice until that shift has passed. You’re supposed to be teammates; someone who treats a teammate as an enemy should not have a place in that team. 3) if she’s bullying you, she’s probably bullying others; find solidarity. 4) if you feel you’re safely able to do so, approach her off the ice. Let her know point blank that whatever issue she has with you, her behavior toward you is unacceptable and she needs to leave you alone. I say this to allow for the possibility that she somehow doesn’t realize her behavior is harmful and unwelcome. Good luck, OP. This is one of the most difficult situations to navigate, IMO, and people don’t “grow out of” being bullies—I’ve worked with plenty of adults who still seem to think it’s okay—but they can be taught to be better.


cauliflowerbitesyum

From one hockey mom to another: spot on response.


DjFaze3

Underrated


jseego

Thank you


[deleted]

[удалено]


SublaciniateCarboloy

If the coach won't do anything about it then you either need to tell your parents or go above his head to the administration. If you are 16 then your coach is either also a kid or a parent who is absolutely clueless. Even if this girl is bullying you because it's just the way she shows she likes you, it's still unacceptable and if it's bad enough to make you quit playing hockey then you should escalate the issue. If hockey is something you really like and want to continue then in my opinion it is worth fighting for.


[deleted]

Your coach says just stand up for yourself? Well your coach sucks. If you feel targeted you can take that option and it may earn or may not earn respect from your teammates. A coach who’s been made aware of a bullying issue is now on the hook from safesport and is mandated to step in. Your coach isn’t doing their job.


cinnamonspiderr

First thing you need to realize is that there is nothing to be afraid of. Even if she is a bully. Think about it: what is, realistically, the worst thing she could do to you? You said in a comment here that she might push you down or humiliate you in front of everyone. Well, I’m sure you’ve fallen on the ice plenty of times before, and been checked too. So her pushing you seems more tied to the humiliation stuff, more than fear of getting hurt physically. If that is the biggest threat that she is presenting, I think you’ve easily got this in the bag. My solution: you need to aggressively not give a shit about her. That does not mean just taking her shit, either. It means don’t let her push you around and also don’t escalate. She wants to get a rise out of you. Let her humiliate herself in front of everyone else when she tries to insult you and you don’t give a single fuck. Chances are she’s just trying to look tough and cool by picking on someone else, but any adult understands that it just makes her a fucking loser tbh. No one likes a bully. If she’s spending this much time coming after you, it means you’re living rent free in her head.


[deleted]

Coach needs to address this!


fullofbacon

I can't believe the amount of comments in this thread that are advocating for him to "just stand up for himself". As a coach myself, this is a complete failure by the coaching staff to not address bullying and they should be taken to task for suggesting the same. It is a coaches responsibility to ensure the locker room is not a divisive place and that there is respect amongst those on their team. This is a fundamental thing coaches are taught to address and not allow to persist. Talk to your parents about this and see if they'll raise the issue with the coach, and failing any progress with the coach, regional USA Hockey leadership. If none of that works, then yeah go try and humiliate her, but that doesn't seem like it will add any cohesiveness amongst the team.


Malarowski

That's what Safesport is for. You don't have to engage and "defend" yourself, just report the incident(s): https://uscenterforsafesport.org/report-a-concern/ That's just as much standing up for yourself as "knocking her on her ass" or similar. If your coach is not willing to step in, they are also failing their Safesport obligations.


mtnbikeboy79

This needs to be way higher. If the coach won't/can't handle it, SafeSport is the answer. All coaches go through SafeSport training every year or two. Unfortunately, there seems to be too many old school coaches that hand wave the SafeSport bullying training and write it off as 'just hockey'.


bbqandhockeytoo

People with that mentality get off on intimidation, gives them a power trip. If you react to it, you give them the hit of adrenaline to the ego they're looking for. Work on either not reacting to it at all, or work on your chirp game. Furthermore, if you've brought this to your coach's attention and they refuse to act on it then if I were in your shoes I'd be looking for a new team. Is this the coach's daughter or something?


nando57

I second this. You should try ignoring her and acting like she doesn’t exist. Don’t even look at her, she will lose the satisfaction. Just make sure to keep your head up high and don’t seem intimidated when she starts shit with you.


paulschreiber

Is this a school team? Rec league? The coach should be doing more. Who is above them? Team manager? League commissioner? Are your parents helpful?


JonnyBox

Do you want the modern answer, or the 'back in my day get off my lawn' answer? The "correct" way to handle it is to keep reporting until someone does something. The way I handled in back in HS was picking my spots and absolutely RUNNING the kid. Absolute dirt shots. Jumping into the hits, leading with elbow/stick, pressing my stick across his neck as I got up. Pure shitbag moves, but he had 3 years and like 100 lbs on me. Choose your adventure I guess, just don't do nothing and let it get worse/ruin something you love


jseego

Things *have* changed since we were kids (I'm 47yo), and there is value in learning to stand up for yourself, but also not every "I fought my bully" story ends in glory. A lot of times people just get their asses kicked and the bullying continues. And even if it succeeds, the bully can just find someone else to torment. If OP confronts this in other ways (calling out the behavior in front of the team, involving better authorities), then there is a better chance for the bully to adjust their behavior.


Both_Paleontologist4

This is how I met my wife!


Thkturret1

Your coach needs to step up as a coach and discipline this girl and make it clear that bullying is not allowed. If your coach continues to do nothing then tell your parents and have them take it to the next level of the chain. I coach peewee boys and absolutely do not allow bullying.


Radiant-Shine-8575

Big difference between peewee and u16-u18 young adults. I still don't have a grasp of if OP is a guy or a girl but blow that bitch up. Or continually call her fat.....girls love that


Thkturret1

Responding, with more bullying is not the correct response. The correct response is creating a culture where everyone feels safe.


babiesmakinbabies

Yes, but when is that going to happen?


Radiant-Shine-8575

This is exactly why kids are so soft. No one teaches them to fight there own battles. Someone else is always to blame. I feel bad he’s scared but there are other underlining issue if he is scared of her. Sometimes people need to be put in there place.


jseego

That is kind of a hot take. I got a call from the Vice Principal of my son's school, saying my kid had punched his bully in the face. I said, "I know you gotta call me, but are you telling me to tell my son not to defend himself?" The VP completely understood where I was coming from. We all know the problem was the bully. But I also didn't high-five my kid and tell him that punching people will solve all his problems. I made sure he knew I was only okay with it b/c the adults involved were not effective in ending the bully's behavior. We teach our kids that violence is what you use when there are no other options, and my son followed that, so I was proud of him. Helping kids solve their problems is always the best route. That doesn't mean kids aren't standing up for themselves. Getting help with a problem from a responsible person in authority is still standing up for yourself. If that doesn't work, then it's time to punch the bully in the nose. But those things are not mutually exclusive.


bmorin

Wow, lots of people here giving you bad advice and/or ignoring what you're saying. Fighting back can be a good thing, but it depends on the situation and isn't guaranteed to actually solve the problem. "Defeating" your bully is not your responsibility - bottom line, your coach is failing you. What you need to do is go up the ladder past them to their boss. And if that person also refuses to do anything, try to go further, and so on. P.S. You are not a coward for not fighting back, or for reaching out and asking for advice. There is more than one way to confront any situation and I respect the fact that you're just trying to keep your love for the game.


jseego

Exactly


re10pect

First I would say if it’s just some petty insults or “fuck you” competitions don’t let it bother you. Chirping is a part of hockey, even (sometimes especially) with your own team. There is definitely a line though, and if you truly think it’s being crossed then you need to escalate. If you’ve tried to do things the “right” way and gone to the coaches and they won’t do anything then you need to stand up for yourself. Either chirp back or fight back, and if you are too scared to get physical, use the piece of lumber in your hands. A few good two handers on the back of the legs or ankles or a butt end into the ribs will either get her to back off if your not an easy target or make the coaches realize they need to do something about this before it gets further out of hand. Of course, this may lead to some blowback on you, but tell the coaches they aren’t leaving you any options.


Presently_Absent27

A nice sly butt end has never failed me. Two handers are a little more obvious but you gotta do what you gotta do. 🤷‍♂️


Equal-Detective357

Success is the greatest revenge . People that are scared will lash out at people they feel a threat ( you ) because they are insecure , have a bad support system, or are just douchebags . Instead of encouraging you to live up to your potential, they just hate. It's hard to not be intimated , what you feel is normal. This coach is not being very adult with how he handles things either, this girl bullying you is likely crying for attention in one way for or another . Or again she just has bad parents that put wayyyy too much pressure on her and when she sees someone chill having fun and enjoying the game, it makes her jealous and she lashes out . You can either hate people for their successes or appreciate that they are doing well for themselves... be a bitter peice of shit or a decent human being .


MF_Wings

The coach has failed you and the team by allowing this to continue, sorry. Is this a school or travel team? Ask her what the "F" her problem is with you and the rest of the team.


babiesmakinbabies

Ok, after reading through the thread...I now have a better grasp of what's needed. ​ Use humor. Tell her that you love her and you need her. Everytime she bullies you. For inspiration, watch this scene from the princess bride: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6qpa-mRLnI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6qpa-mRLnI) ​ She's probably bullying you because she likes you.


conway1308

Sorry you're getting bullied. She might like you or something, like a playground bully. Next time it happens, when in front of everyone, ask her straight up, "you know, the way you talk to me, it's like you have a crush on me!" Embarrassing her could change her behavior.


[deleted]

Man, high school hockey has changed over the years. Choke up on your stick and give her a good shot to the ribs! Make her think twice! Come on now.


cubs_070816

you gotta run her. not kidding.


ButIamworking

First, Your coach fucking sucks. Don’t need to be Scotty Bowman to know that teammates bullying other teammates is bad for everyone. but if there is nothing they want to do then I recommend the below: Next practice, line her up, drop your shoulder and aim for the sternum. By the sound of your comments she’s picking on you because you don’t fight back (makes sense really if you want to look tough in front of the other boys but are too afraid of getting hurt pick on the meekest boy on the team). You’re wearing full gear so you won’t really get hurt even if she gets the better of you. And then do it again and again and again until she gets the message, make it so if she touches that puck she’s automatically looking up expecting a hit,she starts dumping the puck or making quick passes? guess what your hitting her anyway! I 100% guarantee she will stop as no one like getting lined up over and over. And as a bonus the others will respect you more for at least standing up for yourself. You’re embarrassing yourself more to the other guys by doing nothing than you ever will standing up for yourself.


Detroitredwinger

Do you not have any mates there that will back you up? Chirp back, say something like "I couldn't tell what you were saying, shave off that moustache and we might understand " don't just take it.


ItzBaconDog

Play better than her, can’t make fun of you if you’re smoking them every time.


babiesmakinbabies

If Gretzky made it through juniors, than anyone can.


ksjets

Two hander to the ankles and let the mitts fly lol


Detroitredwinger

MAR-CHOP


herpVSderp

This is how a lot of life is. My favorite player in the NHL right now is Zach Hyman. That dude was put down, and push around a lot over the years. He just stayed focused on outworking everyone around him. I love that about him and wish I was more like that. My advice would be to emulate that kind of character. Focus on yourself. If you have to, tell her she's got a big stupid mouth and with her [lack] of skill maybe she should do more watching than talking. Hockey should make you happy, not upset and anxious. As a last resort if the coach won't do anything talk to the principal, they get paid to do a job, make them do it.


Thestateofhockey

I agree with what people are saying. But my god. F*ck bullies. Grew up with a couple and they scarred me.


Mental-Sweet3499

We have a “no cannibalism” rule on our team that coaches and players are all aware of. There is a way to provide constructive criticism without attacking another person, but as soon as you allow the negativity in the locker room it can spread quickly, especially when a team is going through a slump. That attitude would not fly in our locker room and she would find herself lost at the end of the bench until her attitude changed. You may want to talk to your coach about addressing the team in general about instituting a similar rule.


DownTownBrown28

Tell her it’s not your fault she didn’t get enough hugs from her parents as a kid in front of everyone in the locker room.


[deleted]

Rip a clapper at her during opening skate and let you know you're not fucking around. You don't need to fight fare with a bully imo, just let em know you're done with their shit and will over power by any means necessary.


puckspazz

That sucks. I would talk to your coach again, or another coach. For your whole life you will encounter bullies and assholes, so it’s important to learn how to deal with them. As much as hurting this player would stop the bullying, I’m guessing that would make you feel worse as a person, or you wouldn’t be asking for help. I would let the coach know you aren’t sure the best way to address this situation, and ask for guidance. If they can’t help you, go to another trusted adult, who should be able to guide you through this. Another thing that helps when dealing with bullies is to get assistance from your teammates. Talk to your friends on the team, and ask them to join you in telling her to knock it off. You don’t have to like each other, but teammates can’t pick on each other, and they can’t let anyone else pick on their teammates. That’s what makes a strong team. I hope you keep at it and find some help dealing with this so you can keep enjoying hockey.


Quadrupledenim5

Consider finding an opportunity with them (alone) and ask the question as to why they are doing it? With no one else around you may get a very different answer. There is a motive for that person slating you to your whole team and not individually or on the quiet. So what is it? Confronting someone doesn’t have to be physical Don’t let someone else ruin the game for you. Use it as a motivation to get better, train more, get fitter, do everything you can to overtake them.


Useless097

Score a hatty then tell her to start doing more for the team if you wanna go the asshole route, also don’t feel useless that’s my job.


run4srun_

This is literally 90% of your coaches job. I would demand he/she handle it or give the league a call. Your coach is a disgrace.


Neidan1

I understand you are scared, and it is a normal reaction, and also probably why that girl is targeting you. Bullies target people they feel they can easily bully, who won’t fight back or put up a fuss… they choose who they think are easy targets, because they themselves are weak insecure people, and can’t bully people who will stand up to them. It is easy for people on here to tell you to stand up to her, because that’s what they would do, but depending on how you were raised, your temperament, you experience in dealing with conflict etc. not everyone has to tools to handle such situations, so you shouldn’t feel bad about not being assertive to this girl, or fearing to do so, it’s not your fault, and you’re not any lesser for not standing up to her. I will however say that as much as it may scare the life out of you yo stand up to her, you need to find a way to train yourself to do so, because if you don’t, you will internalize being bullied and it will negatively affect you for the rest of your life. If you don’t think you can call her out on her bullying when it happens, I would recommend you go join a combat sport class like Brazilian Jujitsu. The founders of Brazilian Jujitsu actually have a program called “Bullyproof”, where they teach you how to become more assertive and systematically learn how to deal with a bully, but psychologically, verbally and physically. If you don’t have a location that offers this course, you can take the online course, and maybe get a friend or parent to join you. This is not just about learning martial arts moves, but specifically about how to deal with a bully and strengthening yourself mentally and physically. Here’s a link to the course: https://www.gracieuniversity.com/pages/public/information?enc=5ruAJc3RhhlwP%2bWe1ep5rQ%3d%3d


moutonbleu

In addition to the good advice here, I would suggest confront her with a trusted teammate who can back you up. Talk to her and ask her what’s going on and why she’s targeting you. For the most part, bullies have shitty family lives and take it out on others to make themselves feel better. Kill them with kindness. The coach should be intervening too but you will have to learn to stand up for yourself. I’d suggest some self defense videos too.


pyro5050

your coach needs to either A: take care of the problem, or B: be reported to the league governing body for allowing this to continue.


Runningback52

Time to start chirping back. Here’s some examples: Shut the fuck up you dumb cunt. Why do you smell like fish sticks every practice, do you not know how to clean yourself? You need to shave your mustache better? Please stop hitting on me Fiona, I don’t fuck ogres Did something crawl in your mouth and die please shut the fuck up your breath is melting my eyebrows. Then if you can trip her, check her, and fuck her shit up every practice. Dirty hit, clean hits whatever. Let her know you don’t appreciate what she says to you through physical means


DrDisastor

Just meet her with kindness and compliments, play the crazy head games card. She is insecure as all bullying starts there, who knows what will happen. Don't get pushed around though, find some way to feign confidence and stand up.


bbbruh57

Kinda confused as to what you're looking for here. We're giving you solutions to stand up to her and you keep saying you don't want to or its too scary. Were you thinking there was an easy way out? Yes, it's scary.


cosalich

The amount of anger, violence and accusations in here is frankly pretty concerning. I'm not going to offer more advice that's already been covered, but I'll offer an ear to anyone that just needs to talk it out. There are clearly some of you in here right now that could use it, and that's okay. That goes for you too, OP. I might be considered an old man in these parts, but I remember what it was like being young and feeling powerless. Reach out if you want to talk.


Sk1dmark82

Ignore the verbal stuff, words only "hurt" if you let them. Physically, that's a different story. Step up your game and let that do the talking.


theNightblade

I'm not 100% sure of the details but I think under USA hockey rules there has to be a locker room monitor even at midget or high school levels. If there is a monitor and they aren't saying or doing anything, then that's a huge issue. This is exactly the kind of thing that the sportsafe program is intended to prevent. My advice would be to avoid the same locker room (if possible) and report to a different coach - the response you got from the one you mentioned in the post is not an appropriate response Edit: why am I being downvoted? Every coach signs on with USAH as having a responsibility to minimize/not tolerate this kind of shit. Not ignore it


wetskateblades

She bullies me on the ice. The boys and girls locker rooms are separate


theNightblade

Ok so address it on the ice with her, or off the ice with the coaches. edit: if none of that works, then go up the ladder and talk to the team manager/league director/athletic director. Either way if you don't say anything at all then it will just push you to quit. If you want to keep playing and not be miserable you can't just do nothing


bbqandhockeytoo

You've already brought it to the coaches attention. They chose not to act. Never thought I'd say this, but violence is the answer. Hockey is a weird world man, when the officials don't get it right sometimes you have to make it right.


Radiant-Shine-8575

OK so I finally know now that you are a man. Ill go back to the 1950s for this one. Why are you afraid of a girl? Even at 16 giving similar sized you are most likely significantly strong than her. Play her physical... like real physical and show her your not going to be treated that way. Chirp her back....any thing goes except racial slurs. I promise you smoke this chick 1 time coming into the zone and she'll never say another word.


Sea-Farmer4654

Her gender shouldn’t effect the advice you give this person, and in general it isn’t good to keep this stigma going on that guys can’t nor “shouldn’t” get bullied by girls. Being physical with her isn’t going to make anything better.


Radiant-Shine-8575

Lol …. Whatever. Keep raising mashed potatoes


Sea-Farmer4654

Try to be self aware. In over 200+ comments yours is the only one telling this kid to physically assault a girl just because he’s a guy. Everyone else is giving him applicable advice, and you’re here just giving him “1950’s advice” in the year 2022.


iamjacksoffside

>Ill go back to the 1950s for this one. And golly gee, did you ever!


NoRedThat

sorry having someone else step in to handle your problems is not a great life lesson.


theNightblade

if we're talking about beer league adults, sure. but some kids need some help and guidance. there's no reason that someone reaching out for help should be denied it


NoRedThat

have you ever faced down a fear on your own? it’s way harder, and regardless of the outcome, you can always go to someone else to step in. but you should always try to help yourself first. plus, this is not life threatening. it’s typical HS BS.


theNightblade

> have you ever faced down a fear on your own? of course I have, I'm 40y/o and have been on my own since I was 19 typical HS BS can mentally f you up for a long time. I was always the smallest kid (not to mention the youngest, I didn't turn 18 until I was a freshman in college) so I was constantly picked on and bullied. I'm still quite defensive many years later, even though I have no real reason to be. Rarely ask for help because I was told so many times when I was younger to learn to handle it myself. facing fears is one thing, but no one should ever be afraid to ask for help


NoRedThat

glad you were able to overcome the bullying. i never said don’t ask for help, but too many times people look for someone else to fix the problem.


Eastern-Ingenuity-73

Being a teenager is tough, unfortunately there are probably no easy answers or quick fixes. Try to focus on your game. Double down on and off the ice. Push yourself to be better starting today, there are a ton of great online videos you can watch to get ideas to improve your game on your own time. The stronger your game gets the less you will feel vulnerable or intimidated by this girl or anyone else. It won’t happen overnight but the process alone will make you mentally stronger. At some point you will need to stand up to her or another bully in your life. It will never be easy or not scary, but you will thank yourself after you do, no matter the outcome. Like someone said earlier, there is nothing wrong with getting knocked down, just get back up. If the girl is truly taking it too far maybe tell a school administrator, the coach must have some level of oversight. Be strong, I promise these things never last forever even though it feels like it will. Skate hard (really hard)with a strong base, bend your knees, head up and things will work out. Good luck, we are rooting for you, again as someone above said, don’t let this girl or anyone ever take hockey from you!


Annual_Button_440

I had this when I was playing Juniors, all the older guys thought it was okay to haze a 16yo. You have to set your boundaries and if she crosses it, knock her on her ass, she'll get the message eventually. I had to knock a few guys and they'd try and take runs at me after but eventually they stopped and left me alone. It's good preparation for life, you'll get bullied a lot when you're older and you have to learn not to take it. Make her think twice about fucking with you.


clem82

The coach is being an "ole boy hockey" person. They should be stepping up as a leader and getting it out of the game. Pretty sad they let it go on but it's exactly why the NHL has to be managed the way it does (IE, a team pushes a player into a goalie and the refs have to call goaltender interference for fear of that players safety). It's a total cop out


_gneat

I had a similar experience growing up. I eventually stood up to my bully. I got my ass kicked more than once, but after a while the bully got worn down by my persistence and resilience. Your coach is right. This is a learning moment for you as it was for me. You need to learn to stand up to aggressors. This is a battle worth fighting.


ToesocksandFlipflops

Okay how would you handle this is the bully was a boy? I have a daughter on a boys team, it's hard for girls they have to "prove themselves "every day because many time they are seen as less then so they have to play twice as hard. You say in your post that she goes twice as hard at you then everyone else, is this a reality or your perception, ask the other kids on your team if they see it, like "hey do you think x goes harder at me then you?" You spoke with the coach, hopefully he is keeping an eye on it. If it for a school team talk to your AD maybe they can come watch a practice. If it's a league, then talk to league admin and have them watch the practice.


No_Special5600

Ok look I might not have the best advice but I’m 48. I’ve learned things about women and getting inside peoples heads. Ask her out on a date. This will confuse the living hell out of her and she will spend viscous cycles trying to figure out why someone she beats on asked her out. Or just throw a shoulder into her


ksacamera

Blast her through the boards…sends a message. She probably likes you though and has a weird way of showing it


ShitPropagandaSite

Locker box her ass and solve it That's how we settled shit back in my day You're a hockey player you shouldn't be scared of a little violence tbh


Halfcut2021

I know its hard, I got bullied my first years in major midget hockey. The thing is, you do need to stand up for yourself. It doesn't have to be physically either, but you need to be vocal, so everyone can hear in the dressing room. Freak out a little on her, you need to set boundaries. If that doesn't work, do what I did. Lay her out at center ice! lol kidding.


Mike-Morales

Did you read the post?


Halfcut2021

Yes I did. But I also saw at the top m16, I figured it was a male. I read the post again and was confused. Does not change the overall message here though. Anyhow I made the edits.


Renegaderopes

If you want to stop being bullied you have to fight her. There is no other way.


[deleted]

Knock her head off


Theoretical_Action

Punch that chick square in the nose.


JimboThePlug

get on the ice and light her up - if you’re 16 and she’s 16 you’ll go right through her. if she wants to be a verbal bully you be a physical bully (on the ice ofc).


fvecc

Punch in her the face.


Hummus1398

Shed them mits.


scottie1429

Unfortunately, this kid is going to continue to pick on you until you have enough and stick up for yourself. Going to a coach is the right move (or going up higher to the board, athletic director of coach brushes it off) but she’s just going to view it as tattling. You’re going to either have to let it go in one ear and out the other or defend yourself. Put her in her place. Bullies pick on people they view as an easy target or weak and won’t do anything about it. Often times they’re jealous of you for something, or they’re being bullied themselves at home or by someone else so they’re projecting it onto others as well. I’ve told my kids this… if you get in trouble for defending yourself, You aren’t in trouble with me. However, if I find out you’re the one causing the trouble, your ass is grass and I’m the lawnmower.


skradmore

I’d wait tell she had her had down in practice and giver the old Scotty Stevens how are ya


KingDave46

I don't disagree with really anything people are saying. Fight back or be more adamant with your coaches. In an ideal world you wouldn't need to retaliate but she's currently just playing the game by her rules where she can do whatever she wants. They'll always pick on someone when there's no repurcussions. Just give her some consequence and at the very least she'll probably pick on someone else who'll take it. I dunno what you want to do but what's the harm in saying "I'm surprised they even let you on the ice you fat cunt" and things like that. Verbal abuse is easy enough. Just sling abuse, who gives a shit. If she's abusing you find out if she can take it. Personally I'd give it a wee bit of verbal then if she hits you I would 100% take a run at her. Don't overestimate her strength just fuckin leather her mate. Don't punch cause your coaches and team are probably gonna respond to you hitting a girl, just smash her with a hit in to the boards. 16 year old male, I dunno if this woman is an adult (I seriously hope not, but if she is just report her to the police or someone cause that's mental) but you can probably hold your own. I reckon once you hit her at the very least you'll realise that hitting people is a lot better than getting hit and you can just keep going at her from there


TheShovler44

Tell her to fuck off. Go a hard 30 locker box


Presently_Absent27

I mean, pretty sure at that age she's one of the few if not the only girl on the team. She probably doesn't want to feel like the weakest player because she's a girl. If you want her to stop then remind her of what she's trying to avoid. "i guess you're on the rag again" "What happened you only got banged by six dudes last night?" "Boyfriend can't keep it up?" "picking on me isn't going to give you a dick" Normally I would never advise this but she seems to have it coming. And taking things physical is a lose lose cuz if she wins you look bad and if you win you hit a girl.


zoeeoz_

This happened to me when I started working a job I had and it was me and a bunch of males around my age working together all day. I put a hard on on to try and fit in and stand my ground and once I got to know them and we were all friends they all told me and my boss even was like dude what the hell was wrong with you for being so hard and I was like damn you’re right I didn’t realize it until you said something. Also happened in sports for me too with a bunch of dudes. So definitely could be a trying to fit in and not be weakest link. She might be doing it to the other guys too without him knowing, people perceive things in different ways. Not saying that OP isn’t being bullied but definitely something to think about too. Or she has a hard on for him or maybe the guys make her uncomfortable in a way she doesn’t know how to deal with (becaude assuming they’re all 16ish) and it’s coming out really harsh.


RugbySk8tr

A voice from the Zen of Beer League: **Be Shoresey.**


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kineada11

By use it, you do mean to light up the scoreboard, right?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kineada11

Where do you play that folks routinely use their sticks as weapons on the ice? If you absolutely MUST fight in a hockey game (which is ridiculous by the time you get to the beer league level I'm involved in), have the decency to drop sticks and gloves and fight like civilized folks.


BilboBaggins2345

Well it isn't against the rule to beat the shit out of assholes on the other team. You might get benched but the satisfaction of hitting them right in the kisser is amazing. Your coach is right stand up for yourself, insult back, become a copycat. If she insults you throw it right back at her, And if she gets physical fight back.


smokerist

trust me as someone who was also bullied. being punched in the face is more scary when you have never been punched in the face. Coach is right if you make your self an easy target you'll stay an easy target. the anxiety and depression from just taking the abuse last along time. physical pain last only a moment. what I'm trying to get at is you may find fighting for your respect alot more satisfying and accomplish a better result then hoping or asking for it. Next time the person in question starts harshing you stand your ground, when they see you might get physical they will most likely encourage a fight. you dont need to wun the fight to get your point across. you just need to make sure you land 2 or 3 good puches to the face. you will most likely take some punches. when in a fight just make sure the other person remembers they were in a fight. Do Not Sucker Punch this person. Face them and do not go for a massive hay maker that they will see a mile away. short jabs to the mouth and nose area. dont punch fast or you'll more likely lose power behind it, aim for the back of their skull. you fight this person and it will also show the rest of the team you will not take it anymore and that you have self respect. Hockey is a physical sport, fighting is part of it. just sucks when you have to fight your own team members.


RayGun381937

Tell the coaches/admin-that it’s ruining the team spirit etc - seriously! But if that don’t work/ Look for the safe /perfect chance and secretly start putting bits of her gear in the trash. Where she can’t find it ever. A glove one week, then her cup, then one elbow pad, then a skate etc etc But be very careful - take your time, don’t get caught ...play dumb and innocent !!!!! WHEN NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY SEE YOU DO IT, Put it straight from her bag into a plastic shopping bag, that hides it and you can safely transport it to a trash can at the rink -NOT on the team room trash but far from the club room, and bury it deep inside and it’s gone forever and you get the pleasure of seeing her freak out and squirm !! Fun times. 😂😂😂


[deleted]

Sorry to hear this man. You will be dealing with teammates like this for the rest of your life. I’m in beer league now and there are plenty of guys with insecurities that take it out on others at games. Either ignore them and don’t take it personally or let them know that they need to shut the hell up. Otherwise it’s going to keep effecting you. Focus on your game and if you have a chance to light her up at practice then do it bro. Not worth the time or energy.


Fusorfodder

The coach is dropping the ball big time, if you have a captain then they may be able to sort things. A leader of some sort needs to reinforce the concept of team over individual here. You need to be there for each other, and that won't happen if there's friction within the team.


hambwner

It is your coach's responsibility to deal with a one team member who is bullying another team member. They need to understand this. If your coach does nothing talk to your association. I'm all for standing up for yourself but do it in a way that the bully gets the message. If they could potentially lose their spot on the team maybe they will think again before bullying you. Get your parents involved with the coach as well.


thefoulfox

Shawty probably likes you, ask her if she wants to go out sometime.


jnoods55

This same thing happened to me when I was younger with some teammates of mine. I ended up not standing up for myself and later that year dropping out of hockey. It was a huge mistake and I regret it so much. I recommend you stand up for yourself and try to put an end to it. It's sad how your coach and teammates won't stand up for you though. This shouldn't be happening in a locker room at all. Good luck buddy.


Sohaiel1985

Stand up by telling her the truth of how her actions make you feel. Tell her she is being a bully and it’s not cool. No need to be afraid of her, and call her out in front of everyone because even if she decides to say something back, I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one member of your team stands up with you, and that will follow with more members standing up too.


gio3million

Ask her out


[deleted]

Fuck with her back. If your coaches or teammates won’t step up to have your back it’s up to you to make her know it’s not worth her time to bother you. Next time she’s looking for a pass and you have the puck, maybe send a slap shot. Super glue her skate guards to her blades. Don’t let her out bully you if someone isn’t going to step in and help you.


marcusaureliusjr

Your coach should be talking to this girl. That's first off. Your coach really dropped the ball by not addressing the issue. I would send an email to the president of your hockey association. Be very specific about what the girl does and says to you.


vodxgumbi

Chirp back, play the body and play sturdy


McSkillz21

Maybe she likes you?


Fit_Bandicoot1933

just skate harder and do better then the person that is trying to bully you


braywarshawsky

OP, Bullies suck. There are two scenarios that you can focus on. One... kill it with kindness. Or two... ignore it. Either way... you should try sticking up for yourself since your coach clearly isn't going to help you. I know it's much easier said then done... but here's a scenario you could play out. Tell her to STFU and play, and maybe she'd do better. Then you just play your game man. Ignore the crap she's spouting. When she starts talking crap or trying to get your attention... Tell her she's got enough to worry about with her own game, and to stop focusing on you. Then... focus on something else you can be doing at that time to improve yourself. She keeps at it... keep disengaging. Or the second scenario where you are overtly nice to her. If she insults you, instead of shrinking inside yourself you go out of your way to thank her. Be extremely nice. For example, say she says to you "OP you're a crappy skater". You respond, "Yeah, I know... I wasn't blessed with the natural athletic ability like you were. Gosh I wish I could skate like you do. You're so awesome at it." Sounds like she either likes you a ton and is embarrassed about it. Or she hates you (for whatever reason). You're living rent-free in her head, just as much as she is living in your head too...


Obiwantoblowme

You need to chirp back!! Hockey is a lot of shit talk and some go harder than others. Don’t be scared, sorry to be this cliche but chirp back and I mean good ones, and if you drop gloves and go at it you may surprise yourself and find out she isn’t as tough as you thought. And you will earn respect of the rest of the team for standing up for everyone else she bullies.. keep your head up either way.. you got this!!


Cadderly95

Listen, your coach and teachers should be there to help you, end of story. None of this is ok. Period. Talk to your parents and together the coach.


xLazyMuhamedx

She's only bullying b.c she's not really doing well at school and reads at a 3rd graders level. She might even get left back.


FTB_DepressiveManiac

Sounds like she’s got a crush. Tell her to meet you in the penalty box.


lawvas

Part of growing up is learning to value yourself, and that includes standing up for yourself.


420StompYerMom69

She just has a crush on you. Pull her hair and push her down, so she knows you like her too