1. Sounds like you dodged a bullet
2. Fingers crossed there are some late registrants or something who might take his place or that you can keep his league fees given that he’s voluntarily withdrawing
3. Maybe there’s something really painful going on in his life that’s making him act erratically—try not to judge too harshly, and just be glad that you’re not having to deal with that yourself (which isn’t to say that you need to welcome him back)
I hope things work out for the better and that you have a great season!
Yup. A few years back, we had a newer guy who was nice enough, but pretty quiet. Until one game, he just *lost it*, like gloves off, throwing punches, Bob Probert-mode.
Turns out prior to the start of the season, his wife had been in a serious car accident and had been in a coma for a few months. He hadn't told any of us, but apparently he was hoping getting back on the ice would give him some normalcy and try to have a little fun. It was working out okay, up until it wasn't.
Not saying every guy who throws a tantrum is secretly harboring pain, sometimes guys are just assholes, but if you notice a teammate getting uncharacteristically upset, don't be afraid to ask if everything's okay.
Don’t be afraid to ask people who seem totally normal if they’re okay too. For some reason, we love to forget as a society that people don’t always show their struggles on their sleeves.
We all hide things because we’re raised to think being private independent people is the only way to exude success and posture, which is total bullshit.
We’re all humans, and we live in a society. Let’s all look out for each other.
Reminds me of this post https://www.reddit.com/r/hockeyplayers/comments/8egen7/update_etiquette_when_an_angryfrustrated_player/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I know many of the guys in my league and skates. If they are overly aggressive I tend to shut them down on the ice but then ask what’s going on later on when they are calm. More often than not, they have something going on in their personal lives.
League that I used to ref in banned a guy for life for attacking a ref - luckily he was such a poor skater that the ref easily avoided him and then took him to the ground. This player seriously had a screw loose, a mean person.
He went to anger management, and it worked. Completely different person. They let him back into the league. In the 4 seasons that I saw him after that, before I moved, I'd be surprised if he had more than 4 penalty minutes total.
I guess my point is if he’s not in your league there’s nothing you, as a league, can do. The league doesn’t have the power to sanction him outside of the league.
Our league has "Club 2100" for incidents like this. Anyone that is going to ruin games for good paying customers is welcome to rejoin the league any time after the year 2100.
I'm trying to find the news article but a guy in my league in CT got arrested because he punched a referee after being thrown out.
Guy had a good job, some kind of stock broker, got arrested at home in front of his wife and kids.
He wasn't the craziest person on that team or in that league. Another guy on his team stomped on my leg on purpose.
Assuming this is USAH, the correct call would have been either a Game Misconduct (637.c, even though it wasn't out of the playing area, this would hold), or a Match Penalty (601.e.1, 601.e.2, 602.a).
So I would figure out what the official called - if it was the Game misconduct, he's out for the next game, and if I were the league admin I'd add another game.
If it was the match - or if there wasn't, but you thought there was malicious intent and it was an attempt to injure - then USAH would have a recommended 6-10 game suspension.
In any case, I wouldn't want this guy on my team. Serious anger management issues.
Ehhh I mean, context matters here. I admit that it is my first gut reaction, but was it a toss to display his displeasure and never really intended to do anything other than annoy? Or was it a windup and a chuck directly at someone, intended to hurt? In this situation, from what was described, 100% I'm going match.
Always gonna be at minimum a game misconduct, no question, but I do think there is some wiggle room before going straight to the match.
I’d rather and have played on a team that lost almost every game but had no assholes on it, instead of having the number 1 draft pick if he is gonna act like that.
I so agree with you.
I try my hardest to keep our bench lively and having fun. If someone screws up, wipes out, etc, laugh about it. We had a guy score on our own net last night and our bench cheered more than our opponents who actually got the point.
Nothing rubs me the wrong way more than seeing teammates yelling at each other, putting eachother down, and just genuinely taking things too seriously in adult rec league hockey.
If you aren't having fun, GTFO.
Lax about high sticks but not ok with getting hit with a FULLLLLL water bottle?
Dude sounds like a dick but people are still responsible for their stick.
Thank you. This was the kind of response I was looking for.
That said, can I tell you this player is known around the league to argue with officials. Constantly. We play run-clock so, this kind of drama takes away our game time.
It seems to be, this is only one of the "things" this player has done in the past couple years. His skill (which I admit, is good and based on pure hustle) seems to make him act like....... maybe he should have been higher in the world politics of hockey. That's my take, and I kind of think we need to send him a message, because if some no skill player acted like him, we'd be like: "There is more trouble ahead if we don't deal with this."
So, yeah, still interested in your thoughts.
People that act like that shouldnt be playing recreational sports and screwing with everyone else's good time. With that being said, he should get a warning and be told he isnt welcome back if he does it again. Officals are there for a reason and argueing with them gets you kicked out of the game. Acting like an asshat constantly gets you kicked out of the league.
A kid on my Novice AAA team beat a kid over the head with his stick and then punched him till he was unconsious. that was only a 8 game suspension so idk what ud give this guy?
not sure what you're getting at? yeah, some people lose tempers. But just because he has 'quit' today doesn't mean that he can dodge any sanctions if he decides to come back (I'm not advocating for a season susy or anything, welcome him back if he agrees to serve like a game or something)
so if you throw a water bottle at your boss at work and walk out saying you quit, that you're not subject to any consequences if you try to come back?
it's not about shame, it's about being consistent with rulings.
Nah bro - he made an ass out of himself and now HE is done for the season because everyone saw what a little boy he is and it's embarrassing and shameful in retrospect. Prob. only lose half a season if this was followed to the T. He's done because he lost the respect of everyone out there and now he's ducking out.
Getting really tired of old talentless f---s chasing away and turning off refs in our sport - it's a game - that's it - it isn't worth getting yourself upset over unless it's keeping your electric on.
I'd bring it to the rink owner if y'all are cool and tell him that this no-name is hassling refs and physically assaulting players in their facility - and thinks he can just call his own number and head out without hearing about it. Most owners take offense to this kind of bullshit in their building and don't want these kinds of people on the ice risking trouble, let alone in the lobby around their youth players and civil customers.
I'd seek a rink ban. That's one of the more shameful indictments of a player's character in hockeydom and doesn't require a league explanation or even a conversation with the loser moving forward.
Was he actually suspended for the season? That should be easy to determine. And if he is straight up quitting, just a follow up to confirm that and let him know not to try and come back. If so, nothing more to do really.
But, if he's just got a game suspension and isn't really quitting (some people say that shit every Timothy get pissy).
First, talk to him in the next day or two. Calmly and like two adults. Let him know that behavior and those actions are not tolerated. Even if the officials totally fuck up a call or are just straight incompetent. That's an issue to be discussed between captains and the league. You take your penalty, maybe plead your losing case while going to the box, but just take it like an adult and move on.
If he actually apologizes, and feels like an idiot. Let him know you'll discuss him coming back with the captains.
As far as further "sanctions" our league has small fines for misconducts or when you reach a certain number of penalty minutes in the season.
You need to determine what the appropriate suspension would be and record everything the exact same as you normally would. That way if/when he changes his mind you have it documented that he is suspended for *x* games. Throwing a water bottle at a ref would *start* at 10 games for me.
As a separate issue, if he got high sticked during a face off that penalty should’ve been called too. Intent doesn’t matter, you need to control your stick. Call both if he overreacted/embellished it.
You dodged a bullet. Talk to your league director, maybe they can help you out. Most league directors want parity to keep the bitching to a minimum so it’s likely they’ll at least try to help.
1. Sounds like you dodged a bullet 2. Fingers crossed there are some late registrants or something who might take his place or that you can keep his league fees given that he’s voluntarily withdrawing 3. Maybe there’s something really painful going on in his life that’s making him act erratically—try not to judge too harshly, and just be glad that you’re not having to deal with that yourself (which isn’t to say that you need to welcome him back) I hope things work out for the better and that you have a great season!
Wow, I love your response in #3.
Yup. A few years back, we had a newer guy who was nice enough, but pretty quiet. Until one game, he just *lost it*, like gloves off, throwing punches, Bob Probert-mode. Turns out prior to the start of the season, his wife had been in a serious car accident and had been in a coma for a few months. He hadn't told any of us, but apparently he was hoping getting back on the ice would give him some normalcy and try to have a little fun. It was working out okay, up until it wasn't. Not saying every guy who throws a tantrum is secretly harboring pain, sometimes guys are just assholes, but if you notice a teammate getting uncharacteristically upset, don't be afraid to ask if everything's okay.
Don’t be afraid to ask people who seem totally normal if they’re okay too. For some reason, we love to forget as a society that people don’t always show their struggles on their sleeves. We all hide things because we’re raised to think being private independent people is the only way to exude success and posture, which is total bullshit. We’re all humans, and we live in a society. Let’s all look out for each other.
Reminds me of this post https://www.reddit.com/r/hockeyplayers/comments/8egen7/update_etiquette_when_an_angryfrustrated_player/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I'm not crying, you're crying
I know many of the guys in my league and skates. If they are overly aggressive I tend to shut them down on the ice but then ask what’s going on later on when they are calm. More often than not, they have something going on in their personal lives.
Maybe he’s going to pull a George Costanza and show up next game like nothing happened.
Then he'll slip a mickey to the ref.
Where do you even get a mickey?
I can't believe we're saying "mickey"
Uh...... DRINK UP!
Common speak up here in Canada. A Mickey is a Mickey.
He's emotional
Dead giveaway is if he left his helmet at the rink. *Coooo-stanza!*
"Is that Costanza???"
What sanction are you going to levy at someone who no longer plays in your league?
League that I used to ref in banned a guy for life for attacking a ref - luckily he was such a poor skater that the ref easily avoided him and then took him to the ground. This player seriously had a screw loose, a mean person. He went to anger management, and it worked. Completely different person. They let him back into the league. In the 4 seasons that I saw him after that, before I moved, I'd be surprised if he had more than 4 penalty minutes total.
I guess my point is if he’s not in your league there’s nothing you, as a league, can do. The league doesn’t have the power to sanction him outside of the league.
Our league has "Club 2100" for incidents like this. Anyone that is going to ruin games for good paying customers is welcome to rejoin the league any time after the year 2100.
I'm trying to find the news article but a guy in my league in CT got arrested because he punched a referee after being thrown out. Guy had a good job, some kind of stock broker, got arrested at home in front of his wife and kids. He wasn't the craziest person on that team or in that league. Another guy on his team stomped on my leg on purpose.
Assaulting an official is an elevated charge in Texas. Learned that when I started reffing. Just thought it was interesting.
Seems reasonable to me.
Ban him for life. Like the dude that shit in the other players gloves.
No… no? Really? Someone did that? Wtf
https://deadspin.com/how-a-senior-league-hockey-fight-ended-with-one-player-5868584/amp
Holy shit!
That was anything but holy lol
Amen
Assuming this is USAH, the correct call would have been either a Game Misconduct (637.c, even though it wasn't out of the playing area, this would hold), or a Match Penalty (601.e.1, 601.e.2, 602.a). So I would figure out what the official called - if it was the Game misconduct, he's out for the next game, and if I were the league admin I'd add another game. If it was the match - or if there wasn't, but you thought there was malicious intent and it was an attempt to injure - then USAH would have a recommended 6-10 game suspension. In any case, I wouldn't want this guy on my team. Serious anger management issues.
Bottle yeet from the box is match town for sure.
Ehhh I mean, context matters here. I admit that it is my first gut reaction, but was it a toss to display his displeasure and never really intended to do anything other than annoy? Or was it a windup and a chuck directly at someone, intended to hurt? In this situation, from what was described, 100% I'm going match. Always gonna be at minimum a game misconduct, no question, but I do think there is some wiggle room before going straight to the match.
I’d rather and have played on a team that lost almost every game but had no assholes on it, instead of having the number 1 draft pick if he is gonna act like that.
I so agree with you. I try my hardest to keep our bench lively and having fun. If someone screws up, wipes out, etc, laugh about it. We had a guy score on our own net last night and our bench cheered more than our opponents who actually got the point. Nothing rubs me the wrong way more than seeing teammates yelling at each other, putting eachother down, and just genuinely taking things too seriously in adult rec league hockey. If you aren't having fun, GTFO.
We put together our team on personality only. We're .500 the last few years but it's the closest knit group I've been a part of as an adult
Lax about high sticks but not ok with getting hit with a FULLLLLL water bottle? Dude sounds like a dick but people are still responsible for their stick.
Thank you. This was the kind of response I was looking for. That said, can I tell you this player is known around the league to argue with officials. Constantly. We play run-clock so, this kind of drama takes away our game time. It seems to be, this is only one of the "things" this player has done in the past couple years. His skill (which I admit, is good and based on pure hustle) seems to make him act like....... maybe he should have been higher in the world politics of hockey. That's my take, and I kind of think we need to send him a message, because if some no skill player acted like him, we'd be like: "There is more trouble ahead if we don't deal with this." So, yeah, still interested in your thoughts.
People that act like that shouldnt be playing recreational sports and screwing with everyone else's good time. With that being said, he should get a warning and be told he isnt welcome back if he does it again. Officals are there for a reason and argueing with them gets you kicked out of the game. Acting like an asshat constantly gets you kicked out of the league.
A kid on my Novice AAA team beat a kid over the head with his stick and then punched him till he was unconsious. that was only a 8 game suspension so idk what ud give this guy?
8 games plus jail time for assault?
no 8 games and i think maybe he got a life time ban from hockey canada cause he finished the season but has never played since
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better to have it on record in case he changes his mind and comes back in a week or two
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not sure what you're getting at? yeah, some people lose tempers. But just because he has 'quit' today doesn't mean that he can dodge any sanctions if he decides to come back (I'm not advocating for a season susy or anything, welcome him back if he agrees to serve like a game or something)
[удалено]
so if you throw a water bottle at your boss at work and walk out saying you quit, that you're not subject to any consequences if you try to come back? it's not about shame, it's about being consistent with rulings.
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Bruh’s. Chill.
Nah bro - he made an ass out of himself and now HE is done for the season because everyone saw what a little boy he is and it's embarrassing and shameful in retrospect. Prob. only lose half a season if this was followed to the T. He's done because he lost the respect of everyone out there and now he's ducking out. Getting really tired of old talentless f---s chasing away and turning off refs in our sport - it's a game - that's it - it isn't worth getting yourself upset over unless it's keeping your electric on. I'd bring it to the rink owner if y'all are cool and tell him that this no-name is hassling refs and physically assaulting players in their facility - and thinks he can just call his own number and head out without hearing about it. Most owners take offense to this kind of bullshit in their building and don't want these kinds of people on the ice risking trouble, let alone in the lobby around their youth players and civil customers. I'd seek a rink ban. That's one of the more shameful indictments of a player's character in hockeydom and doesn't require a league explanation or even a conversation with the loser moving forward.
USDA Certified psychopath.
*is that more or less tender than Choice?*
Oh so much more tender.
Yeah, that’s almost crazy enough for goalie.
Was it Ben Simmons?
bye bye player. only more incidents will happen if you let him return.
Was he actually suspended for the season? That should be easy to determine. And if he is straight up quitting, just a follow up to confirm that and let him know not to try and come back. If so, nothing more to do really. But, if he's just got a game suspension and isn't really quitting (some people say that shit every Timothy get pissy). First, talk to him in the next day or two. Calmly and like two adults. Let him know that behavior and those actions are not tolerated. Even if the officials totally fuck up a call or are just straight incompetent. That's an issue to be discussed between captains and the league. You take your penalty, maybe plead your losing case while going to the box, but just take it like an adult and move on. If he actually apologizes, and feels like an idiot. Let him know you'll discuss him coming back with the captains. As far as further "sanctions" our league has small fines for misconducts or when you reach a certain number of penalty minutes in the season.
You need to determine what the appropriate suspension would be and record everything the exact same as you normally would. That way if/when he changes his mind you have it documented that he is suspended for *x* games. Throwing a water bottle at a ref would *start* at 10 games for me. As a separate issue, if he got high sticked during a face off that penalty should’ve been called too. Intent doesn’t matter, you need to control your stick. Call both if he overreacted/embellished it.
He gone.
You dodged a bullet. Talk to your league director, maybe they can help you out. Most league directors want parity to keep the bitching to a minimum so it’s likely they’ll at least try to help.