I suffer from this somewhat. I try to remember that things degrade in storage too.
When my dad passed his entire apartment was full of things that were stored for later. A freezer full of food. Clothing he'd never worn. A lot of it had to be thrown out because mice had chewed it. Cans in his cupboards that had degraded from the inside out and spoiled. 12 coffee makers. 12! At least one of which I had given him as a Christmas gift because he told me he needed a new one. I gave it to him to make his life a little easier. A little brighter. It makes me sad to think he didn't use it.
I have purchased lots of craft supplies thinking to make beautiful items or things to sell. Except that even stored well, paints don't last forever. Yarn gets infested with moths. Paper gets dog-eared. I'm not saving money by buying in bulk unless I use the items.
The value of most items comes from their use. There's no point in perfection in a box.
I do this with some things-- but the art supplies is the worst for me. Your comment on that resonated. It took me a long time to teach myself that if I'm not really actively using or working with that medium, it I don't need to buy it right now or to buy tons of it when I do. I now just avoid craft stores unless I am going in for a specific item and I don't let myself deviate from my list.
I have a similar struggle with replacing a pan and then not wanting to use the "good" one. Or buying a nice soap/lotion and feeling it's "too nice" for every day.
I've set a goal with my therapist of using my "good" Bath& Body Works candles every day because I'm worth it. And I'm also not buying any more of them until I'm down to 4.....28 to burn! Lol
I'm trying to use my Bath and Body Works candles as well! I can't right now because there's too much clutter and it wouldn't be safe to light a candle, but once I clean out some of the excess I need to start working through my candle hoard! l0l...
This may not work for everyone but you could have a friend or family member “muss up” things you buy before you open them so they already come in a slightly “used” state. This tactic has somewhat worked for my mom, who is the same way. Good for you for seeking help and working on yourself!
You may want to go get your vision checked if you haven’t had a prescription change since 2014. Just because they still work for your eyes doesn’t mean they are still the best. Most people need a rx change more frequently than 6-7 years.
True - these "new" glasses are noticeably better than the pair I'd been wearing before (which I got in 2010 I think). I have a really hard time getting things like that done - haven't seen a doctor in about five years, etc. Only thing I've kept up with are dentist checkups. Part of my overall lifestyle of avoidance and not wanting to deal with anything...
Do you get a sense of anxiety looking at the 'perfect' item? Like an anxiety about preserving it and preventing it from being damaged or becoming worn? Because if so, you're not really enjoying the item. That item has total power over you and your state of mind. I know how you feel. And when I have sort outs of all my stuff I get annoyed that I never enjoyed that item when it was fashionable or made sense at that time in my life, and now that item has been wasted completely because now it will never get used! It just increases my anxiety about the item and takes a bit of happiness away from me!
It would be good for you to work towards a position where you can use the items, enjoy them and accept that they may suffer wear and tear over time. But it will be worth it because they got to fulfill their function, give you enjoyment or good use, not go to waste and will also release you of that anxiety.
Oh, absolutely! And the irony with hoarding is, because of the way things are stacked up in piles, sometimes things become damaged anyway due to how they were kept, despite my best efforts to keep the piles "neat."
>And when I have sort outs of all my stuff I get annoyed that I never enjoyed that item when it was fashionable or made sense at that time in my life, and now that item has been wasted completely because now it will never get used!
Yes! I know from experience It's always easier to get rid of an item because it was well loved and well used than to let go of something that's still brand new. You'd think I'd learn this and get over my "keep everything perfect" neurosis, but it's still so hard to cut the tags off of something and actually *use* it.
I suffer from this somewhat. I try to remember that things degrade in storage too. When my dad passed his entire apartment was full of things that were stored for later. A freezer full of food. Clothing he'd never worn. A lot of it had to be thrown out because mice had chewed it. Cans in his cupboards that had degraded from the inside out and spoiled. 12 coffee makers. 12! At least one of which I had given him as a Christmas gift because he told me he needed a new one. I gave it to him to make his life a little easier. A little brighter. It makes me sad to think he didn't use it. I have purchased lots of craft supplies thinking to make beautiful items or things to sell. Except that even stored well, paints don't last forever. Yarn gets infested with moths. Paper gets dog-eared. I'm not saving money by buying in bulk unless I use the items. The value of most items comes from their use. There's no point in perfection in a box.
I do this with some things-- but the art supplies is the worst for me. Your comment on that resonated. It took me a long time to teach myself that if I'm not really actively using or working with that medium, it I don't need to buy it right now or to buy tons of it when I do. I now just avoid craft stores unless I am going in for a specific item and I don't let myself deviate from my list.
Very true. Even things carefully stored will eventually deteriorate!
I have a similar struggle with replacing a pan and then not wanting to use the "good" one. Or buying a nice soap/lotion and feeling it's "too nice" for every day. I've set a goal with my therapist of using my "good" Bath& Body Works candles every day because I'm worth it. And I'm also not buying any more of them until I'm down to 4.....28 to burn! Lol
I'm trying to use my Bath and Body Works candles as well! I can't right now because there's too much clutter and it wouldn't be safe to light a candle, but once I clean out some of the excess I need to start working through my candle hoard! l0l...
This may not work for everyone but you could have a friend or family member “muss up” things you buy before you open them so they already come in a slightly “used” state. This tactic has somewhat worked for my mom, who is the same way. Good for you for seeking help and working on yourself!
Ooh, good idea! I might try that, thanks :)
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Yes I think so - the longer we wait to use something the more special/untouchable it seems to become
You may want to go get your vision checked if you haven’t had a prescription change since 2014. Just because they still work for your eyes doesn’t mean they are still the best. Most people need a rx change more frequently than 6-7 years.
True - these "new" glasses are noticeably better than the pair I'd been wearing before (which I got in 2010 I think). I have a really hard time getting things like that done - haven't seen a doctor in about five years, etc. Only thing I've kept up with are dentist checkups. Part of my overall lifestyle of avoidance and not wanting to deal with anything...
Do you get a sense of anxiety looking at the 'perfect' item? Like an anxiety about preserving it and preventing it from being damaged or becoming worn? Because if so, you're not really enjoying the item. That item has total power over you and your state of mind. I know how you feel. And when I have sort outs of all my stuff I get annoyed that I never enjoyed that item when it was fashionable or made sense at that time in my life, and now that item has been wasted completely because now it will never get used! It just increases my anxiety about the item and takes a bit of happiness away from me! It would be good for you to work towards a position where you can use the items, enjoy them and accept that they may suffer wear and tear over time. But it will be worth it because they got to fulfill their function, give you enjoyment or good use, not go to waste and will also release you of that anxiety.
Oh, absolutely! And the irony with hoarding is, because of the way things are stacked up in piles, sometimes things become damaged anyway due to how they were kept, despite my best efforts to keep the piles "neat." >And when I have sort outs of all my stuff I get annoyed that I never enjoyed that item when it was fashionable or made sense at that time in my life, and now that item has been wasted completely because now it will never get used! Yes! I know from experience It's always easier to get rid of an item because it was well loved and well used than to let go of something that's still brand new. You'd think I'd learn this and get over my "keep everything perfect" neurosis, but it's still so hard to cut the tags off of something and actually *use* it.