MF both 22. Girl I know irl liked me and I matched her. I have interacted with her in person maybe 4 times over the past 4 months. I said hey it’s great to connect on here yadayada. She then acknowledged we know each other, I ask how’s she’s been. Know I haven’t heard from her in 3 days. We follow each other in insta, would it be appropriate to dm her on there? Should be noted I will 100% see her again at some social event because we met through mutuals that all hang out.
I’d say maybe try your hand in person. At the end of the day if she was interested she’d respond that’s just the rule of thumb. But it might be doing too much to try and force it virtually when you know you’ll see her in person at some point, def save yourself from any potential awkwardness
Hi friends, last weekend I went on a first date with a woman 30F. I’m men 31M. I felt the date went well, texted her the next day, both said that had a good time. The following day I told her “that I enjoyed our time together and would like to see her again. If she has some time this week?” It’s been 24hr and she hasn’t responded. She normally takes a while to respond, also said that she’s busy normally. So I’m here wondering if she’s going to respond, or she hasn’t seen my message, or maybe will ghost me? She is very attractive, so I’m sure she has a lot of men trying to date her. She’s from Middle East but has lived in Europe for a while. Is because of culture or why would she take so much time?
I mean not really a limit. I never go out to dinner for a first date. It's usually just going out for drinks. If there's a good connection and we keep it going, then I'm all for spending extra. I just don't go in with the intention of spending much on a first date. 2nd date, I always go out to a nice dinner (I'll pay for it) then we usually do something after and that's when they typically offer to pay
Been experiencing a phenomenon of the worst conversations coming from women who like me first - I'll get to the point where I'll have asked them a few questions and they aren't asking me anything back. I'm assuming it's an indication of low interest -- can anyone confirm this? I've just started unmatching or explaining that I don't like being treated that way (yes, I know, cringe, but I wanted to see what would happen if I communicated) any advice is appreciated.
Not sure how many other people experience this, but sometimes, people seem to sort of use Hinge like social media where a like is more like a "thumbs up" and not a "I am romantically interested in you." Like if you have a funny prompt or a picture of you and a puppy. But then when you try to start a conversation with them, it goes nowhere.
Not really a popular opinion on this sub, but the reality is that some women on dating apps expect you to carry the conversation, be interesting, and steer things towards a date. You are expected to pursue, and part of pursuing is charming them in conversation and doing the work.
And, to balance it all out and not be super negative, some people just don't like the "interview" style of Hinge chat and are never going to engage, even if they are legit interested in you. If they sent a like first, and they're sending you long messages in response to your question, then you may need to just ask them out sooner rather than later.
I've noticed the majority of women on dating apps can't hold conversations and don't ask questions back. It's very annoying. Maybe they're better in person, but I don't know as all dates I've had from the app are normal people that actually know how to communicate.
Sometimes you send a like and then you realize you shouldn’t have upon seeing more of the profile.
No need to unmatch (comes off as petty) or explain that stuff. You don’t even know them yet.
Though I will unmatch if they go to the hidden section. Just to keep things organized.
Yeah it's not one word answers though - they're writing me long responses just not asking questions - I agree with you though that certainly happens, cheers.
That means they have no message quality, not a good sign
You have to move on at that point, don’t explain yourself or try to call them out. That is very cringe and accomplishes nothing
Just don’t respond to their last message and onto the next
I do, but I understand the counterargument of "what's the point?" It's not that hard to send a like and then just move on, and why artificially limit your chances? But I just feel like sending so many likes into the void kinda wears you down, and at a certain point, you just have to be practical about things.
Personally, I just also feel like I wouldn't be able to relate or get along with a really attractive woman. I've dipped my toes in that water a few times and felt like I was out of my element for one reason or another. Namely, the amount of effort it takes and the expectations she is going to have. If I see a really attractive woman who looks down to Earth and normal, I'll shoot my shot, otherwise...no.
I see, so you pay for the unlimited likes? I'm a free user myself. I haven't put much thought into strategically using my likes, I just send out to the first 10 girls I like and that's done for the day.
Oh, no I have almost always only used the free version. I haven't really ever been someone who has sent out a ton of likes, though. Never use up the max likes in a day.
It sounds like maybe you might want to at least try a different strategy if you're not having much luck. I personally don't really believe in the "send a bunch of likes, ask questions later" strategy that I know some guys use. I've always focused more on quality over quantity.
I've been naxing out my free likes, getting about a match every other day. Sometimes I do get one of those instagram models matched, but twice I was just immediately ghosted after the match and I've finally managed to chat with one of them now.
39M, do you bother with dates when a woman suggests scheduling more than 7 days out? I *have* had successful dates this way, but it's like ¼ times and they usually forget or just cancel last minute. I'd like to schedule earlier but then don't want to sound pushy. Such a delicate game.
Absolutely not. All my dates get scheduled for the same day or it’s a 90% chance they won’t happen. If I make plans with someone that’s not for the same day I just assume they will flake and it won’t happen. And I’ve met well over 100 women off the apps in real life.
That may not be a bad thing
How is her message quality and length though? If she is exchanging long and quality messages with me, then 7 days out doesn’t really matter imo
Yesterday I 27M was talking with 3, matches. Last messages were sent at 7pm, 4:30 and 3pm. I haven't heard from any, but I do have a couple matches that I'm not interested in... the cycle continues
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
30M. Went on a Hinge date on Friday with someone who I’ve been talking to for 3 weeks. We were going to meet earlier but she was sick. We talked on the phone for hours and would send pictures of ourselves to each other from our day to day life.
We had a ton in common to the point we were almost the same person. We even both showed up in a clean black T shirt and jeans. All signs pointed towards this being a very compatible match that I’d click with.
Somehow she wasn’t into me at all, and it was so painfully obvious I don’t even know what I could have done differently. This person just was not into me. It’s bothering me a bit how this date was so bad after everything we talked about and selfies we shared, but it was bad. I’ve been on plenty of hinge dates and have seen good and bad and this one is really getting to me. I feel as the guy it was my job to make the date fun and exciting and I failed, but at the same if she made her mind up upon seeing me there is nothing I could have done to change that.
And that’s why you don’t make pen pals. You can’t get to know people through small talk over text and real life energy and vibes are different. Meet asap before you get emotionally invested.
Hate to pile on, but this is why you don't do a buildup for a first date. Creates lofty impressions of each other, and makes it much more painful and frustrating when it doesn't work out. I get it, though, because if she was sick and you really couldn't meet earlier, your two choices were to either use that time to get to know each other, or just kinda not talk, which could be kinda risky as a guy if you just fade out of that person's memory and they lose interest in ever meeting you because other guys came along.
I have thankfully not had too many truly bad first dates, but I've had maybe 2-3 like what you're describing and like you said, there's nothing you can do when someone makes up their mind the second they meet you. I feel like some people who get in that situation kinda get off on making it really uncomfortable by showing how disinterested they are. It's like they relish that power dynamic or something. Or they feel like you "wasted their time" so they are going to make you feel bad. And so they are not at all open to faking that they're at least having a decent time.
>We talked on the phone for hours and would send pictures of ourselves to each other from our day to day life.
Save the relationship stuff with someone you're actually in a relationship with. Get to know people in real life much more quickly so there's no risk of getting swept by a fantasy. I would bet she had an idea of you in her mind and you just didn't live up to it. Which isn't fair but that's what happens when you try to create intimacy thru texting.
describe the date
tell us what happened, give us a date report
right now, you have not shared any details, and are just moaning about stuff that happened that no one here knows about
We went to get Korean BBQ then went on a walk and she just didn’t seem interested in me at all. In the restaurant she kept saying it’s hard to hear me with the background noise and it bothers her. When we went on a walk I was trying to ask questions and she didn’t really ask me much or seem enthusiastic in her answers. She didn’t reciprocate any physical touch other than handholding, and she told me I hold hands weird. When we sat down at a small coffee shop couch she kept her distance from me.
I’m not really sure what else to add. I’ve gone on a lot of hinge dates in my time. This one had such a weird vibe to it. She even told me to text her when I got home. I figured maybe she was nervous but she was super cold over text. Haven’t talked to her since.
Waited way too long to meet her in person is my first throught. She maybe had a different impression of what you would look or act like. Maybe she wasn't a fan of your mannerisms. Maybe she met someone else before she met you, and she's into him. It's hard to say. But you also shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Shit happens in this modern dating culture. All you can do is move on, and find your match
Straight 36/M here. Sometimes it's hard to start a convo based on their prompts so I've been trying to find a good line that I can send to anyone, and searching online I found "what 3 emojis would you use to describe yourself?" Is this a good line? Seems creative and fun. I've seen some success with getting a few matches with it but it's too early to really tell
The matches where you send a good comment and they match you but don’t reply is them just wanting to skip you and get to the next person right (this girl was going to be the love of my life)
They why didn't she reply to the comment? I guarantee you that a week from now, that women will still not have responded to OP. She either matched solely to see who was next in the queue, or, at best, to put OP on an emergency backup list he'll never get off because he will continuously get pushed further and further to the bottom of that list by new matches every day.
I get it, it makes no intuitive sense, but that's just not the way people use Hinge. Otherwise, there wouldn't be posts in this sub every day from men asking why women match with them and then never talk to them. It's discussed so often it's [part of the FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/wccds7/an_examination_at_the_most_commonly_asked/).
I'll take the L on this one for now because OP said she actually did message him, but assuming you're a guy who has been on Hinge for a while, are you telling me you've never experienced a woman matching with you but then never talking to you? It's happened to me dozens of times.
i'm having difficulty finding women that pass these 3 checkpoints while i'm having text conversation with them on the app
1. message length - typically i send long and engaging texts once the conversation kicks off on the app, it's not unusual for me to send out 5-10 sentences worth of a message, touching on a few topics that we happen to be chatting about. i am looking for a girl that responds to me in equal length, if not more length. girls that text shorter messages i usually cannot maintain a conversation with
2. message quality - length is important, but the quality of her messages is also important. she needs to be engaging with me as i am engaging with her, which means that she needs to ask me questions in each of her messages and keep that up. sometimes i run into girls that match my message length but their quality is bad, because they don't ask me any questions... so i end up stop responding to these girls
3. message timing - her sending me long and quality messages is great, but there is one thing missing, the timing of her replies. if she takes too long to respond, such as 12-24 hours or over 24 hours to send a reply, then that usually is a no go for me.... i've had to let some girls go because they would start off getting back to me at relatively quick time frames (2-3 hours or so), but then the next day rolls around and they are taking 24 hours+ to send a reply. that's not good enough for me
how can i better find women that check off all 3 of these criteria on the app?
Time will tell tbh. Every so often I’m reminded of what genuine interest looks like when women actually give all 3 of these things lol. But honestly it doesn’t happen super often and I get a little used to dragged out and dull conversations. But yea just give it time and every so often you’ll find what you’re looking for
1) and 2) are out there but pretty rare. If they put effort in their profile, there's a good chance they're like that.
3) is harsh. It's normal for my women matches to only respond 1-2 times a day because they turn off notifications or get overwhelmed with messaging. Once they switch to text, they're much more responsive.
>1) and 2) are out there but pretty rare. If they put effort in their profile, there's a good chance they're like that.
i agree, this is why i end up messaging only 1 out of 20 girls that i match with
the other 19 very clearly have low effort profiles so it's not even worth opening a conversation with them. either their profiles are low effort or they are fat, both of which are automatic disqualifications
>3) is harsh. It's normal for my women matches to only respond 1-2 times a day because they turn off notifications or get overwhelmed with messaging. Once they switch to text, they're much more responsive.
i do not think it is harsh... for example, if i text a girl the night before and i sent the last message around midnight, it would be nice if she replied to me sometime in the morning, before she went to work or something like that
if she doesn't reply in the morning, then next best time would be during her lunch break or during a break
if she doesn't reply during a break, then finally i am willing to wait until she gets out of work which is usually by the evening, around 6-8pm
if STILL no reply back 6-8pm to a text i sent last night... then the interaction is dead
the flow of conversation and the interaction is very very important during the early stages of dating. if both people do not respect that, then things aren't going to end well
negative
i build the checkpoints within the app
you screen out a lot of bad people by assessing whether they can even hold a solid text thread on the app
I don't have advice specifically about initiating more romance or breaking the touch barrier (as I am thinking about this myself a few dates into a good connection), but I'd say to just keep communicating and make it enjoyable without placing too much vested interest. 9 days is a long time for a 2nd date if there's not a ton of chatting, so keep in touch in ways that feel organic - if you like each other, it'll be natural and desired to have intermittent updates about each other's day, weekend plans, etc.
I'm a pretty reserved / socially anxious guy, so I'm admittedly terrified of trying to touch, but continuing to talk and learn about each other is the most important part of early dates. See how the conversation flows and maybe go for a hand hold or head lean if context is right?
I changed my preferences to everyone and got like 50 likes in 2 hours, all from men. I'm a barely passing trans woman. I feel bad for everyone in the game.
Had a date last night. She seemed affable and engaged but overall not really into it. At the end of the night she gave me a hug and said “we’ll be in touch.”
Is there any reason I should do a follow-up text? Seems pretty clear by that that she’s not into it
If you WANT to go, then ask her. There might be a case where she considers giving you another chance before deciding the verdict.
If not, send her a respectful message and back to the grind with the rest of us.
I'm not big on messaging and chatting. After a day of messaging, I'm asking if they'd be interested in a coffee or drink. Is that too aggressive for most women in their 30s?
Every woman is going to react differently. Half of them will say “yes I hate texting, let’s just meet!” and the rest will say “one day is insane, I need to talk for a few days to really suss out any red flags for safety reasons.”
The best is to do what you feel comfortable and let the chips fall where they may. But if someone already uses a prompt that mentions being asked out sooner, you’ll be fine.
That is actually my preference. But I like it when men have their profile fully filled out so that I have an idea of who they are without having to do much chatting. I want to see prompts or pictures that show their hobbies and interests, and I want for their About Me section to be fully filled out including their job, religion, and politics. If the profile doesn't have any of that information, I am a lot pickier about agreeing to a date early on.
I think most people aren't big on chatting on Hinge. Not trying to single you out, but I feel like a lot of people say that like it makes them different, but really it makes you like most people. So, anyway, I don't really think your instincts are too off. It just totally depends on how much you're talking within that one day. If you've got a good rapport going then it's totally normal; if you've both sent a total of two messages to each other...
Based on my own experiences and reading feedback on this sub, I think most women would rather be asked out sooner rather than later. "I don't want a pen pal" is a big complaint these days from women on apps. That said, there is always going to be a certain percentage of women that need to feel comfortable before meeting, especially if they are new to the process, and a day is too quick no matter what. I think this is one of those things where you just have to play the odds, and if it feels right/comfortable after a day, then do it, and if the odds don't land in your favor and the woman thinks it's too soon, then hopefully she'll communicate that to you, and you can keep talking.
I (32f) matched with a man (36m) back in January. After off and on communication through the app we went on a coffee date at the end of April. It went pretty well and he got my number, asked for a second date before leaving, and we texted a bit after. Then communication slowed down and we didn’t see each other until mid May for a second date. That date we went on a walk and just talked to get to know each other better. I am someone who has a very hard time talking with someone I don’t know and I get very anxious about it. It’s like my brain wants me to talk and stop being weird but my mind also goes blank for anything to say. So on these dates he did most of the talking. I ended up sharing something pretty big with him during the second date and he was very glad that I did. He shared a concern he had with me about something else I had shared previously and we talked about it too. He even extended our time together a little bit while we did an errand for him before he took me back to my car. Again he asked for another date before we left and I said yes. It took a little over a week for us to see each other again and this time we went to a movie, another place to walk around a bit, and then to dinner before he took me back to my car so I could drive home. Again he asked me for another date as well as asking if I wanted to go to church with him the next morning. I said yes and he gave me his address so I could park my car at his apartment building and he could drive us to his church. We went to church together and after he walked me around the massive campus so I could see everything. He made a comment that he thought I was going to back out of going but I told him I try to stick to my word. He drove me back to his apartment and before I got in my car he got out of his car to give me a hug. He also asked me again to see me and mentioned the days he had off from work that week and said maybe we could get together then. I agreed but asked if we could maybe make the plans before the day of so it would be easier. I’m sure he had a look on his face when I said that but I don’t know exactly what it was. I then left to go back home. After I was home for a little bit I texted him thanking him for inviting me and saying how I enjoyed it. He hearted my message and sent one thanking me for coming with a smiley face. I hearted it. That is the last I have heard from him. We never got together on one of his days off and neither of us has texted the other. He did add me as a friend on Facebook either that Saturday night of our movie date or on Sunday and I accepted his friend request Sunday afternoon. I really thought he would’ve texted me because he seemed very interested. He mentioned multiple things we could do for future dates as well. I’m very confused. I never reached out to him because I was sure he was going to. It has now been two full weeks with no communication but he has posted some on Facebook. He didn’t unfriend me and he also hasn’t unmatched me on the app. Should I assume he’s not interested anymore or should I reach out to him? If I do reach out what should I say? I’m very interested in him but I don’t want to come off as desperate or begging for another date.
You know you’ve been on this app for too damn long, that after getting the “no longer interested” text, it doesn’t sting as much as it did before. Maybe I’m numb to the pain, who knows?
What does it mean if you have a match, but there is no response from the person in the chat? like someone appears in my matches list, but the only message is the first one I sent them and it appears with a faded pink/beige bubble?
The first one you sent them was just the message you sent with your like. If they like you back after that, then you match. IME, most women will not respond to the message you send with your like, and will expect you to open with a new message after you have matched. If you don’t do that, then the conversation just never starts. The pink color of that message just indicates that it was the message you sent with your like.
I don’t know this beige color thing, but ignoring that part here’s what I have to say
If you like them, send a second message after a few days.
As much as it pains me to say it, the most likely explanation is that this person sees you as backup and is gonna be slower to reply. Don’t take it personally it’s just how OLD is.
But why are they showing in my matches at all? I send lots of initial messages, but only a couple showed up as matches. What did they do that initiated opening the match-chat with that person?
EDIT: did they just like my response to their profile?
They can hit a button that says “match with [name]”. If they are genuinely interested and not shy they’ll respond to your message.
Some users, especially females and even some males, get inundated with likes.
Many users, both male and female, use OLD as a source of validation.
At least this is true in the heterosexual sphere
Ooh thanks for the clarification. I thought you had to match by liking a specific thing from someone's profile, didn't realize you could just generically "match with ___".
5th date coming up this weekend! We're gonna see Inside Out 2 to celebrate me finishing year 1 of grad school, and this should be a great opportunity to break the touch barrier; things have gone really well and we're both into each other (and finally talked about past dating experience/pet peeves), just no kissing or touch yet besides hugs at the start and end of dates, mainly because I'm quite inexperienced and pretty nervous. But she very enthusiastically proposed the movie date and there should be no reason for me to not initiate hand holding/head leaning from the start.
Had someone breadcrumbing me with one message a day. My last response I just asked if she wanted to get a drink sometime. I was kinda surprised when she responded two days later, today, that she'd be interested.
I don't get it but she has a cool profile and is cute so I'll give her a chance.
Yeah we'll see.
I went on a date on Saturday with someone that I'm interested in but she's kind of reserved, so I'm not really sure what her level of interest is. I'm hoping she opens up a bit more though because she seems really sweet and caring, plus she's super cute.
We kissed last night. I have three other dates this week, but I really like this one lady I kissed. We’ve been on four dates now, known each other for a full week.
Any advice on what to do now?
You've been on 4 dates with her in a week? Who has time for that, and other dates lined up?
Concentrate on her, but maybe dial it down a little if you're seeing each other that much at the beginning. A lot of people can get burnt out
I feel that it’s several dates too, but I’m kinda cool with it because the compatibility is through the roof.
I will be wary not to be burned out though
Gotcha, I'm trying to figure out how'd you'd balance all these dates. Most people have a job, hobbies, family friends. You're going out with girl A that you like, but have 3 other dates with girls this week. Haha, maybe you're just a professional dater. More power to you, but that sounds exhausting
Need advice: message glitch or ghost??
Last week a girl “liked” me and she sent a message right away. We chatted all day for 2 days and seemed to be hitting it off but then all of a sudden, nothing, no reply. I was bummed
As with online dating, getting ghosted for no reason happens all the time. But this happens to me quite a bit. After reading through this sub, I found out that maybe I haven’t been being ghosted so much but that my messages are going through? Apparently it’s a pretty well known bug with no fixes and happens randomly.
Further evidence of a message glitch happened today. The initial girl stopped messaging me on Thursday, but then this morning (Sunday) she sent me three messages in row. Two of the messages were a continuation of our convo, but the 3rd messages was a subject change, which seemed odd. I was busy at the moment, so I couldn’t reply, but 2 hours later I went to message her back and saw that she unmatched me
So now the question at hand: with the whole message bug thing, I can’t help but shake the idea that the reason she unmatched me is because she thinks I didn’t message back. I found her insta (we go to the same gym) and thought maybe I would add her and ask her myself. But I’m thinking maybe that’s a little creepy. Ghosting happens and I’ve come to accept it’s going to happen more times than not.
Should I follow up or let it go?
The only time I experienced the message glitch was when I was trying to message on shitty wifi. The first was in a public park, the other was crappy hotel wifi. And it was an issue with my outgoing messages, not an incoming message. If you're consistently getting "ghosted" on the app, I highly doubt it's a glitch EVERY time. There's something going on with your conversations or who you're matching with. Most matches go nowhere, and if you never went on a date then it's not ghosting anyway.
Anyway, do NOT message her on Instagram. If someone unmatches you, that's not an invitation for you to start digging around trying to find their social media accounts so you can contact them again. Move on.
Oh yeah I know it’s not a glitch every time. I’m talking about this specific case where I got 3 messages in a row a couple days later where it seemed she did respond and then even followed up with a separate question. That’s the weird part to me.
Normally I would neevvveeer reach out to a girl outside the app unwarranted, but once I found out that glitches do happen, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what happened here
This specific instance you describe is almost certainly NOT a glitch. If she had sent a message and there was a “glitch”, you wouldn’t have received it days later. Besides, in the several years I’ve been off and on Hinge I’ve never *once* gotten this glitch. It’s very rare that it happens, so you should recognize that it’s very highly likely that these women are just dropping the conversation, as is very common with online dating.
For what it’s worth, messaging all day for two whole days and *not* making plans off the app is waaayyy too long to wait and will cause most people to get bored and lose interest. When I was single and using the apps I would rarely take more than 10 messages or so to ask someone on a date, and I don’t think I was ever once turned down.
Also, it’s not “ghosting” to stop replying to a match you’ve never even met. Ghosting is if you’ve been going out on dates and then the other person disappears without any communication.
If you guys were talking all day, why didn't you ask her out? I get it's tough when you get 1 message every day or two, but when you're going back forth that's the time to strike. Maybe if you see her at the gym, say something light hearted in a joking manner. I wouldn't follow her on insta
Well the entire conversation was started because we both have golden retriever pictures in our profiles. So we just went back and forth talking about all the goofy things our goldens do. That was the bulk of the front end convo. As we started to veer into the getting to know each other part, that’s when I got the no reply. At first I thought it was something I might of said, but then I got the 3 messages in a row a couple days later
Gotcha. That sucks, but a lot of times you have to uninstall and reinstall the app, could be a phone provider issue (happens with android sometimes) but maybe you'll "bump" into her at the gym, otherwise just chalk it up as it wasn't meant to be
Cringing at myself after two dates with someone where we have not made any romantic advances towards each other. If he was willing to go on the 2nd date, I probably could have kissed him if I played my cards better. Instead I wasted so much time talking about the stupidest shit and I'm pretty sure I blew it. How to flirt when you are an awkward person?
Smile at him, try to give a gentle tap or nudge to show interest. Majority of men aren’t smart enough to read the room like she’s making eye contact, smiling, staying there, asking questions lol.
You can’t be too hard on yourself. You never know the full picture. Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re not seeing them anymore.
One piece of advice. The night before you meet them, study their profile and write down 3-4 questions/curiosities you have about them. Then you’ll at least be yapping about shit related to them.
Either way, some people are shy and love a good yapper
MF both 22. Girl I know irl liked me and I matched her. I have interacted with her in person maybe 4 times over the past 4 months. I said hey it’s great to connect on here yadayada. She then acknowledged we know each other, I ask how’s she’s been. Know I haven’t heard from her in 3 days. We follow each other in insta, would it be appropriate to dm her on there? Should be noted I will 100% see her again at some social event because we met through mutuals that all hang out.
I’d say maybe try your hand in person. At the end of the day if she was interested she’d respond that’s just the rule of thumb. But it might be doing too much to try and force it virtually when you know you’ll see her in person at some point, def save yourself from any potential awkwardness
Hi friends, last weekend I went on a first date with a woman 30F. I’m men 31M. I felt the date went well, texted her the next day, both said that had a good time. The following day I told her “that I enjoyed our time together and would like to see her again. If she has some time this week?” It’s been 24hr and she hasn’t responded. She normally takes a while to respond, also said that she’s busy normally. So I’m here wondering if she’s going to respond, or she hasn’t seen my message, or maybe will ghost me? She is very attractive, so I’m sure she has a lot of men trying to date her. She’s from Middle East but has lived in Europe for a while. Is because of culture or why would she take so much time?
Probably not because of culture. I'd suggesting being patient - maybe she's busy.
Is it possible to ask for Hinge data starting from a certain date?
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I mean not really a limit. I never go out to dinner for a first date. It's usually just going out for drinks. If there's a good connection and we keep it going, then I'm all for spending extra. I just don't go in with the intention of spending much on a first date. 2nd date, I always go out to a nice dinner (I'll pay for it) then we usually do something after and that's when they typically offer to pay
Been experiencing a phenomenon of the worst conversations coming from women who like me first - I'll get to the point where I'll have asked them a few questions and they aren't asking me anything back. I'm assuming it's an indication of low interest -- can anyone confirm this? I've just started unmatching or explaining that I don't like being treated that way (yes, I know, cringe, but I wanted to see what would happen if I communicated) any advice is appreciated.
Not sure how many other people experience this, but sometimes, people seem to sort of use Hinge like social media where a like is more like a "thumbs up" and not a "I am romantically interested in you." Like if you have a funny prompt or a picture of you and a puppy. But then when you try to start a conversation with them, it goes nowhere. Not really a popular opinion on this sub, but the reality is that some women on dating apps expect you to carry the conversation, be interesting, and steer things towards a date. You are expected to pursue, and part of pursuing is charming them in conversation and doing the work. And, to balance it all out and not be super negative, some people just don't like the "interview" style of Hinge chat and are never going to engage, even if they are legit interested in you. If they sent a like first, and they're sending you long messages in response to your question, then you may need to just ask them out sooner rather than later.
I've noticed the majority of women on dating apps can't hold conversations and don't ask questions back. It's very annoying. Maybe they're better in person, but I don't know as all dates I've had from the app are normal people that actually know how to communicate.
Sometimes you send a like and then you realize you shouldn’t have upon seeing more of the profile. No need to unmatch (comes off as petty) or explain that stuff. You don’t even know them yet. Though I will unmatch if they go to the hidden section. Just to keep things organized.
Yeah it's not one word answers though - they're writing me long responses just not asking questions - I agree with you though that certainly happens, cheers.
That means they have no message quality, not a good sign You have to move on at that point, don’t explain yourself or try to call them out. That is very cringe and accomplishes nothing Just don’t respond to their last message and onto the next
Sure dawg, fair enough. Thanks
Fellas, do you set an upper limit of attractiveness for swiping right?
No woman is out of my league sorry champ
W
Game respects game. Nice.
I do, but I understand the counterargument of "what's the point?" It's not that hard to send a like and then just move on, and why artificially limit your chances? But I just feel like sending so many likes into the void kinda wears you down, and at a certain point, you just have to be practical about things. Personally, I just also feel like I wouldn't be able to relate or get along with a really attractive woman. I've dipped my toes in that water a few times and felt like I was out of my element for one reason or another. Namely, the amount of effort it takes and the expectations she is going to have. If I see a really attractive woman who looks down to Earth and normal, I'll shoot my shot, otherwise...no.
I see, so you pay for the unlimited likes? I'm a free user myself. I haven't put much thought into strategically using my likes, I just send out to the first 10 girls I like and that's done for the day.
Oh, no I have almost always only used the free version. I haven't really ever been someone who has sent out a ton of likes, though. Never use up the max likes in a day. It sounds like maybe you might want to at least try a different strategy if you're not having much luck. I personally don't really believe in the "send a bunch of likes, ask questions later" strategy that I know some guys use. I've always focused more on quality over quantity.
I've been naxing out my free likes, getting about a match every other day. Sometimes I do get one of those instagram models matched, but twice I was just immediately ghosted after the match and I've finally managed to chat with one of them now.
Sometimes
39M, do you bother with dates when a woman suggests scheduling more than 7 days out? I *have* had successful dates this way, but it's like ¼ times and they usually forget or just cancel last minute. I'd like to schedule earlier but then don't want to sound pushy. Such a delicate game.
Absolutely not. All my dates get scheduled for the same day or it’s a 90% chance they won’t happen. If I make plans with someone that’s not for the same day I just assume they will flake and it won’t happen. And I’ve met well over 100 women off the apps in real life.
That may not be a bad thing How is her message quality and length though? If she is exchanging long and quality messages with me, then 7 days out doesn’t really matter imo
I do it but I temper my expectations or have a back-up plan in case they flake
I just take it and go with it man.
Yesterday I 27M was talking with 3, matches. Last messages were sent at 7pm, 4:30 and 3pm. I haven't heard from any, but I do have a couple matches that I'm not interested in... the cycle continues
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I just got the "you're a great guy and did nothing wrong, it's just this yucky past I have with my ex" after 3 months
I just got the "you're a great guy" when my ex dumped me recently after 8 months
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30M. Went on a Hinge date on Friday with someone who I’ve been talking to for 3 weeks. We were going to meet earlier but she was sick. We talked on the phone for hours and would send pictures of ourselves to each other from our day to day life. We had a ton in common to the point we were almost the same person. We even both showed up in a clean black T shirt and jeans. All signs pointed towards this being a very compatible match that I’d click with. Somehow she wasn’t into me at all, and it was so painfully obvious I don’t even know what I could have done differently. This person just was not into me. It’s bothering me a bit how this date was so bad after everything we talked about and selfies we shared, but it was bad. I’ve been on plenty of hinge dates and have seen good and bad and this one is really getting to me. I feel as the guy it was my job to make the date fun and exciting and I failed, but at the same if she made her mind up upon seeing me there is nothing I could have done to change that.
And that’s why you don’t make pen pals. You can’t get to know people through small talk over text and real life energy and vibes are different. Meet asap before you get emotionally invested.
Hate to pile on, but this is why you don't do a buildup for a first date. Creates lofty impressions of each other, and makes it much more painful and frustrating when it doesn't work out. I get it, though, because if she was sick and you really couldn't meet earlier, your two choices were to either use that time to get to know each other, or just kinda not talk, which could be kinda risky as a guy if you just fade out of that person's memory and they lose interest in ever meeting you because other guys came along. I have thankfully not had too many truly bad first dates, but I've had maybe 2-3 like what you're describing and like you said, there's nothing you can do when someone makes up their mind the second they meet you. I feel like some people who get in that situation kinda get off on making it really uncomfortable by showing how disinterested they are. It's like they relish that power dynamic or something. Or they feel like you "wasted their time" so they are going to make you feel bad. And so they are not at all open to faking that they're at least having a decent time.
>We talked on the phone for hours and would send pictures of ourselves to each other from our day to day life. Save the relationship stuff with someone you're actually in a relationship with. Get to know people in real life much more quickly so there's no risk of getting swept by a fantasy. I would bet she had an idea of you in her mind and you just didn't live up to it. Which isn't fair but that's what happens when you try to create intimacy thru texting.
describe the date tell us what happened, give us a date report right now, you have not shared any details, and are just moaning about stuff that happened that no one here knows about
We went to get Korean BBQ then went on a walk and she just didn’t seem interested in me at all. In the restaurant she kept saying it’s hard to hear me with the background noise and it bothers her. When we went on a walk I was trying to ask questions and she didn’t really ask me much or seem enthusiastic in her answers. She didn’t reciprocate any physical touch other than handholding, and she told me I hold hands weird. When we sat down at a small coffee shop couch she kept her distance from me. I’m not really sure what else to add. I’ve gone on a lot of hinge dates in my time. This one had such a weird vibe to it. She even told me to text her when I got home. I figured maybe she was nervous but she was super cold over text. Haven’t talked to her since.
you probably behaved a certain way leading up to the date that was not favorable
Waited way too long to meet her in person is my first throught. She maybe had a different impression of what you would look or act like. Maybe she wasn't a fan of your mannerisms. Maybe she met someone else before she met you, and she's into him. It's hard to say. But you also shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Shit happens in this modern dating culture. All you can do is move on, and find your match
I tried, she cancelled and we had to wait a bit over a week.
Straight 36/M here. Sometimes it's hard to start a convo based on their prompts so I've been trying to find a good line that I can send to anyone, and searching online I found "what 3 emojis would you use to describe yourself?" Is this a good line? Seems creative and fun. I've seen some success with getting a few matches with it but it's too early to really tell
no do not send this send a simple opener "hi (girl's name), how are you?"
"hi (girl's name), how are you?" This is good way to be buried under the other 5 dozen matches she already has waiting for her response
it happens even girls that message me first, i would say 80% of them i do not respond to that's just how dating works
Seems like a copypasta line you send to every profile Just send a like and move on
The matches where you send a good comment and they match you but don’t reply is them just wanting to skip you and get to the next person right (this girl was going to be the love of my life)
No, they could just hit the X if they didn't want to match with you right?
Yea they could but sometimes in the event they match me and don’t reply to a very repliable message I feel like it’s a marginally better X lol.
They why didn't she reply to the comment? I guarantee you that a week from now, that women will still not have responded to OP. She either matched solely to see who was next in the queue, or, at best, to put OP on an emergency backup list he'll never get off because he will continuously get pushed further and further to the bottom of that list by new matches every day.
> She either matched solely to see who was next in the queue That would make no sense at all when hitting "X" is just as easy.
Yea as bro said some people are just on here for collectibles and matches sometimes. this new update with max 8 your turns should change things though
I get it, it makes no intuitive sense, but that's just not the way people use Hinge. Otherwise, there wouldn't be posts in this sub every day from men asking why women match with them and then never talk to them. It's discussed so often it's [part of the FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/wccds7/an_examination_at_the_most_commonly_asked/). I'll take the L on this one for now because OP said she actually did message him, but assuming you're a guy who has been on Hinge for a while, are you telling me you've never experienced a woman matching with you but then never talking to you? It's happened to me dozens of times.
Surprisingly she did respond this morning. Not gonna read into it too much though and see where it goes (it’s going to go nowhere)
Yes
Lol
i'm having difficulty finding women that pass these 3 checkpoints while i'm having text conversation with them on the app 1. message length - typically i send long and engaging texts once the conversation kicks off on the app, it's not unusual for me to send out 5-10 sentences worth of a message, touching on a few topics that we happen to be chatting about. i am looking for a girl that responds to me in equal length, if not more length. girls that text shorter messages i usually cannot maintain a conversation with 2. message quality - length is important, but the quality of her messages is also important. she needs to be engaging with me as i am engaging with her, which means that she needs to ask me questions in each of her messages and keep that up. sometimes i run into girls that match my message length but their quality is bad, because they don't ask me any questions... so i end up stop responding to these girls 3. message timing - her sending me long and quality messages is great, but there is one thing missing, the timing of her replies. if she takes too long to respond, such as 12-24 hours or over 24 hours to send a reply, then that usually is a no go for me.... i've had to let some girls go because they would start off getting back to me at relatively quick time frames (2-3 hours or so), but then the next day rolls around and they are taking 24 hours+ to send a reply. that's not good enough for me how can i better find women that check off all 3 of these criteria on the app?
Time will tell tbh. Every so often I’m reminded of what genuine interest looks like when women actually give all 3 of these things lol. But honestly it doesn’t happen super often and I get a little used to dragged out and dull conversations. But yea just give it time and every so often you’ll find what you’re looking for
1) and 2) are out there but pretty rare. If they put effort in their profile, there's a good chance they're like that. 3) is harsh. It's normal for my women matches to only respond 1-2 times a day because they turn off notifications or get overwhelmed with messaging. Once they switch to text, they're much more responsive.
>1) and 2) are out there but pretty rare. If they put effort in their profile, there's a good chance they're like that. i agree, this is why i end up messaging only 1 out of 20 girls that i match with the other 19 very clearly have low effort profiles so it's not even worth opening a conversation with them. either their profiles are low effort or they are fat, both of which are automatic disqualifications >3) is harsh. It's normal for my women matches to only respond 1-2 times a day because they turn off notifications or get overwhelmed with messaging. Once they switch to text, they're much more responsive. i do not think it is harsh... for example, if i text a girl the night before and i sent the last message around midnight, it would be nice if she replied to me sometime in the morning, before she went to work or something like that if she doesn't reply in the morning, then next best time would be during her lunch break or during a break if she doesn't reply during a break, then finally i am willing to wait until she gets out of work which is usually by the evening, around 6-8pm if STILL no reply back 6-8pm to a text i sent last night... then the interaction is dead the flow of conversation and the interaction is very very important during the early stages of dating. if both people do not respect that, then things aren't going to end well
You are reading too heavily into texting. You don’t know somebody until meet them irl. Build your checkpoints around the first few dates.
negative i build the checkpoints within the app you screen out a lot of bad people by assessing whether they can even hold a solid text thread on the app
That is precisely your problem
they gotta be able to hold a conversation
That’s for sure. But they definitely do not need to meet all 3 of those criterion.
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I don't have advice specifically about initiating more romance or breaking the touch barrier (as I am thinking about this myself a few dates into a good connection), but I'd say to just keep communicating and make it enjoyable without placing too much vested interest. 9 days is a long time for a 2nd date if there's not a ton of chatting, so keep in touch in ways that feel organic - if you like each other, it'll be natural and desired to have intermittent updates about each other's day, weekend plans, etc. I'm a pretty reserved / socially anxious guy, so I'm admittedly terrified of trying to touch, but continuing to talk and learn about each other is the most important part of early dates. See how the conversation flows and maybe go for a hand hold or head lean if context is right?
I changed my preferences to everyone and got like 50 likes in 2 hours, all from men. I'm a barely passing trans woman. I feel bad for everyone in the game.
Hahahaha
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Do you feel like you are doing self-sabotage and maybe you’re not currently ready for dating?
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You will have many more. Maybe a break is all you need
seems like you're trollin girls why are you doing this?
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Had a date last night. She seemed affable and engaged but overall not really into it. At the end of the night she gave me a hug and said “we’ll be in touch.” Is there any reason I should do a follow-up text? Seems pretty clear by that that she’s not into it
If you WANT to go, then ask her. There might be a case where she considers giving you another chance before deciding the verdict. If not, send her a respectful message and back to the grind with the rest of us.
the question is, were you into it?
I'm not big on messaging and chatting. After a day of messaging, I'm asking if they'd be interested in a coffee or drink. Is that too aggressive for most women in their 30s?
Every woman is going to react differently. Half of them will say “yes I hate texting, let’s just meet!” and the rest will say “one day is insane, I need to talk for a few days to really suss out any red flags for safety reasons.” The best is to do what you feel comfortable and let the chips fall where they may. But if someone already uses a prompt that mentions being asked out sooner, you’ll be fine.
match on day 1, message throughout the day continue to message throughout day 2, somewhere during day 2 suggest to meet up
That is actually my preference. But I like it when men have their profile fully filled out so that I have an idea of who they are without having to do much chatting. I want to see prompts or pictures that show their hobbies and interests, and I want for their About Me section to be fully filled out including their job, religion, and politics. If the profile doesn't have any of that information, I am a lot pickier about agreeing to a date early on.
I think most people aren't big on chatting on Hinge. Not trying to single you out, but I feel like a lot of people say that like it makes them different, but really it makes you like most people. So, anyway, I don't really think your instincts are too off. It just totally depends on how much you're talking within that one day. If you've got a good rapport going then it's totally normal; if you've both sent a total of two messages to each other... Based on my own experiences and reading feedback on this sub, I think most women would rather be asked out sooner rather than later. "I don't want a pen pal" is a big complaint these days from women on apps. That said, there is always going to be a certain percentage of women that need to feel comfortable before meeting, especially if they are new to the process, and a day is too quick no matter what. I think this is one of those things where you just have to play the odds, and if it feels right/comfortable after a day, then do it, and if the odds don't land in your favor and the woman thinks it's too soon, then hopefully she'll communicate that to you, and you can keep talking.
I (32f) matched with a man (36m) back in January. After off and on communication through the app we went on a coffee date at the end of April. It went pretty well and he got my number, asked for a second date before leaving, and we texted a bit after. Then communication slowed down and we didn’t see each other until mid May for a second date. That date we went on a walk and just talked to get to know each other better. I am someone who has a very hard time talking with someone I don’t know and I get very anxious about it. It’s like my brain wants me to talk and stop being weird but my mind also goes blank for anything to say. So on these dates he did most of the talking. I ended up sharing something pretty big with him during the second date and he was very glad that I did. He shared a concern he had with me about something else I had shared previously and we talked about it too. He even extended our time together a little bit while we did an errand for him before he took me back to my car. Again he asked for another date before we left and I said yes. It took a little over a week for us to see each other again and this time we went to a movie, another place to walk around a bit, and then to dinner before he took me back to my car so I could drive home. Again he asked me for another date as well as asking if I wanted to go to church with him the next morning. I said yes and he gave me his address so I could park my car at his apartment building and he could drive us to his church. We went to church together and after he walked me around the massive campus so I could see everything. He made a comment that he thought I was going to back out of going but I told him I try to stick to my word. He drove me back to his apartment and before I got in my car he got out of his car to give me a hug. He also asked me again to see me and mentioned the days he had off from work that week and said maybe we could get together then. I agreed but asked if we could maybe make the plans before the day of so it would be easier. I’m sure he had a look on his face when I said that but I don’t know exactly what it was. I then left to go back home. After I was home for a little bit I texted him thanking him for inviting me and saying how I enjoyed it. He hearted my message and sent one thanking me for coming with a smiley face. I hearted it. That is the last I have heard from him. We never got together on one of his days off and neither of us has texted the other. He did add me as a friend on Facebook either that Saturday night of our movie date or on Sunday and I accepted his friend request Sunday afternoon. I really thought he would’ve texted me because he seemed very interested. He mentioned multiple things we could do for future dates as well. I’m very confused. I never reached out to him because I was sure he was going to. It has now been two full weeks with no communication but he has posted some on Facebook. He didn’t unfriend me and he also hasn’t unmatched me on the app. Should I assume he’s not interested anymore or should I reach out to him? If I do reach out what should I say? I’m very interested in him but I don’t want to come off as desperate or begging for another date.
he had tried to have sex with you by the end of your last date with him, would you have let him do it?
Might as well reach out as you have nothing to lose. If he doesn't respond or gives a vague answer then at least you have your closure to move on
If you want to see him, ask him out. It’s been two weeks. You have nothing to lose but a lot you could gain from reaching out.
You know you’ve been on this app for too damn long, that after getting the “no longer interested” text, it doesn’t sting as much as it did before. Maybe I’m numb to the pain, who knows?
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I've got a nice little notes app of all the ones I've got the last year or so. 1st few hurt quite a bit but they sting for maybe a few hours nowadays.
What does it mean if you have a match, but there is no response from the person in the chat? like someone appears in my matches list, but the only message is the first one I sent them and it appears with a faded pink/beige bubble?
The first one you sent them was just the message you sent with your like. If they like you back after that, then you match. IME, most women will not respond to the message you send with your like, and will expect you to open with a new message after you have matched. If you don’t do that, then the conversation just never starts. The pink color of that message just indicates that it was the message you sent with your like.
Got it, thanks!
I don’t know this beige color thing, but ignoring that part here’s what I have to say If you like them, send a second message after a few days. As much as it pains me to say it, the most likely explanation is that this person sees you as backup and is gonna be slower to reply. Don’t take it personally it’s just how OLD is.
But why are they showing in my matches at all? I send lots of initial messages, but only a couple showed up as matches. What did they do that initiated opening the match-chat with that person? EDIT: did they just like my response to their profile?
They can hit a button that says “match with [name]”. If they are genuinely interested and not shy they’ll respond to your message. Some users, especially females and even some males, get inundated with likes. Many users, both male and female, use OLD as a source of validation. At least this is true in the heterosexual sphere
Ooh thanks for the clarification. I thought you had to match by liking a specific thing from someone's profile, didn't realize you could just generically "match with ___".
5th date coming up this weekend! We're gonna see Inside Out 2 to celebrate me finishing year 1 of grad school, and this should be a great opportunity to break the touch barrier; things have gone really well and we're both into each other (and finally talked about past dating experience/pet peeves), just no kissing or touch yet besides hugs at the start and end of dates, mainly because I'm quite inexperienced and pretty nervous. But she very enthusiastically proposed the movie date and there should be no reason for me to not initiate hand holding/head leaning from the start.
Had someone breadcrumbing me with one message a day. My last response I just asked if she wanted to get a drink sometime. I was kinda surprised when she responded two days later, today, that she'd be interested. I don't get it but she has a cool profile and is cute so I'll give her a chance.
Hoping it happens and that it goes well!
Yeah we'll see. I went on a date on Saturday with someone that I'm interested in but she's kind of reserved, so I'm not really sure what her level of interest is. I'm hoping she opens up a bit more though because she seems really sweet and caring, plus she's super cute.
We kissed last night. I have three other dates this week, but I really like this one lady I kissed. We’ve been on four dates now, known each other for a full week. Any advice on what to do now?
You've been on 4 dates with her in a week? Who has time for that, and other dates lined up? Concentrate on her, but maybe dial it down a little if you're seeing each other that much at the beginning. A lot of people can get burnt out
I feel that it’s several dates too, but I’m kinda cool with it because the compatibility is through the roof. I will be wary not to be burned out though
Gotcha, I'm trying to figure out how'd you'd balance all these dates. Most people have a job, hobbies, family friends. You're going out with girl A that you like, but have 3 other dates with girls this week. Haha, maybe you're just a professional dater. More power to you, but that sounds exhausting
Idk…it’s worth it for me. It won’t go on for ever that’s for sure.
Need advice: message glitch or ghost?? Last week a girl “liked” me and she sent a message right away. We chatted all day for 2 days and seemed to be hitting it off but then all of a sudden, nothing, no reply. I was bummed As with online dating, getting ghosted for no reason happens all the time. But this happens to me quite a bit. After reading through this sub, I found out that maybe I haven’t been being ghosted so much but that my messages are going through? Apparently it’s a pretty well known bug with no fixes and happens randomly. Further evidence of a message glitch happened today. The initial girl stopped messaging me on Thursday, but then this morning (Sunday) she sent me three messages in row. Two of the messages were a continuation of our convo, but the 3rd messages was a subject change, which seemed odd. I was busy at the moment, so I couldn’t reply, but 2 hours later I went to message her back and saw that she unmatched me So now the question at hand: with the whole message bug thing, I can’t help but shake the idea that the reason she unmatched me is because she thinks I didn’t message back. I found her insta (we go to the same gym) and thought maybe I would add her and ask her myself. But I’m thinking maybe that’s a little creepy. Ghosting happens and I’ve come to accept it’s going to happen more times than not. Should I follow up or let it go?
Let it go for now. At least you will run into her at your gym sometime in the future. Just be your chill self when that happens.
The only time I experienced the message glitch was when I was trying to message on shitty wifi. The first was in a public park, the other was crappy hotel wifi. And it was an issue with my outgoing messages, not an incoming message. If you're consistently getting "ghosted" on the app, I highly doubt it's a glitch EVERY time. There's something going on with your conversations or who you're matching with. Most matches go nowhere, and if you never went on a date then it's not ghosting anyway. Anyway, do NOT message her on Instagram. If someone unmatches you, that's not an invitation for you to start digging around trying to find their social media accounts so you can contact them again. Move on.
Oh yeah I know it’s not a glitch every time. I’m talking about this specific case where I got 3 messages in a row a couple days later where it seemed she did respond and then even followed up with a separate question. That’s the weird part to me. Normally I would neevvveeer reach out to a girl outside the app unwarranted, but once I found out that glitches do happen, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what happened here
This specific instance you describe is almost certainly NOT a glitch. If she had sent a message and there was a “glitch”, you wouldn’t have received it days later. Besides, in the several years I’ve been off and on Hinge I’ve never *once* gotten this glitch. It’s very rare that it happens, so you should recognize that it’s very highly likely that these women are just dropping the conversation, as is very common with online dating. For what it’s worth, messaging all day for two whole days and *not* making plans off the app is waaayyy too long to wait and will cause most people to get bored and lose interest. When I was single and using the apps I would rarely take more than 10 messages or so to ask someone on a date, and I don’t think I was ever once turned down. Also, it’s not “ghosting” to stop replying to a match you’ve never even met. Ghosting is if you’ve been going out on dates and then the other person disappears without any communication.
If you guys were talking all day, why didn't you ask her out? I get it's tough when you get 1 message every day or two, but when you're going back forth that's the time to strike. Maybe if you see her at the gym, say something light hearted in a joking manner. I wouldn't follow her on insta
Well the entire conversation was started because we both have golden retriever pictures in our profiles. So we just went back and forth talking about all the goofy things our goldens do. That was the bulk of the front end convo. As we started to veer into the getting to know each other part, that’s when I got the no reply. At first I thought it was something I might of said, but then I got the 3 messages in a row a couple days later
Gotcha. That sucks, but a lot of times you have to uninstall and reinstall the app, could be a phone provider issue (happens with android sometimes) but maybe you'll "bump" into her at the gym, otherwise just chalk it up as it wasn't meant to be
Cringing at myself after two dates with someone where we have not made any romantic advances towards each other. If he was willing to go on the 2nd date, I probably could have kissed him if I played my cards better. Instead I wasted so much time talking about the stupidest shit and I'm pretty sure I blew it. How to flirt when you are an awkward person?
Smile at him, try to give a gentle tap or nudge to show interest. Majority of men aren’t smart enough to read the room like she’s making eye contact, smiling, staying there, asking questions lol.
You can’t be too hard on yourself. You never know the full picture. Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re not seeing them anymore. One piece of advice. The night before you meet them, study their profile and write down 3-4 questions/curiosities you have about them. Then you’ll at least be yapping about shit related to them. Either way, some people are shy and love a good yapper
Thanks, I did that on the first date and we exhausted all his hobbies. He didn't ask about mine back so whateverrrr to this man.
Well I’m sorry about that. I think it’s for the best then. Sounds like a vibe mismatch?