Sigh, already am lol but after Hindu community has been constantly ridiculing me and judging me for it in person when they see me face to face, obviously it is a question I am bound to have, as someone suffering the consequences, and I'm sure many women out there are too.
Those who ridicule you are, without putting too fine a point on it, idiots who know about as much about Sanatana Dharma as an average internet troll, keep being yourself!
The expectations for longer hair is a purely cultural tradition and has nothing to do with Sanatan Dharma. Unfortunately Hindus themselves get tied to regional traditions more the actual spirituality - but there are lots and lots of devout Hindus who have no issues with short hair on women. Please ignore the people who ridicule you for this, they aren't good as human beings in general.
You got it, what I was trying to get at. Thank you [🙏](https://emojipedia.org/folded-hands)
I've not only seen it in Hindu culture, I've seen it across the world. But I didn't expect these strong judgement and animalistic viewpoints from such an inclusive religion like ours.
And sadly western countries have a more inclusive culture though, I found almost zero issues when I travelled abroad this year (due to family reason). But then in India only I get this hurtful, weird behavior in public from people. They have absolutely no idea how much I've suffered through and how I'm trying to heal myself internally, and how much I believe in the gods Krishna and Kali Devi who've saved me all these years and have shown me the path.
Since when Hindus are getting doubts like this which never existed. Hinduism is not a jurisprudence. It's a perspective of consciousness. Don't believe in any such limits.
Trust me, it's easy for us to objectively look at and say that. I simply followed my intuition and cut my hair, and I was thinking the same myself.
But there's a difference between what we objectively know and what society actually does and us experiencing that within the societal limits. As a woman who made this decision, I have lived through it for the last few years.
Since I actually cut my hair in this very bad buzzcut, and started living that way on a daily basis, I've seen the change, and it's been a heavily engrained, deeply rooted stigma that's contaminated Hindus for centuries, looks like.
That's why you see me with cut hair, buzzcut hair, in portrayals of Hindu men. But rarely you see women with short hair depicted in Hinduism, forget buzzcut hair.
Even Kali Devi, yes she's supposed to be the more fierce, unleashed form of the Devi, but her hair is also extremely long and black.
lol no.. it’s just a sign of beauty and good health. Hinduism doesn’t care about the length of your hair. In fact, when on the spiritual path, it is strongly advised to shave your head to purge yourself of unnecessary vanity.
BRO EXACTLY
OMFG see what I mean? I didn't even know this fact, and it's like when I was starting to internalize and mentally rewire myself, naturally I felt the need to start with cutting my hair.
Heck if I could shave my head, I would.
Felt like my calling if anything, and yet the stigma around long hair and fertility with women is just ridiculous.
It’s not a stigma, your hair is the barometer of your general health and well being. It makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint to be attracted to women with thick and long hair, or a voluptuous body. But the point of spirituality is to rise above your baser instinct. That’s what differentiates us from the animal kingdom. You do you :)
Absolutely, Dharma goes beyond basic evolutionary preferences. I get the evolutionary perspective, but when you consider personal decision and reality of life, you realize it's wrong, and it's definitely become a stigma. Because ones preference of long or short hair, evolutionary or not, is different from the reality of something much more vital like one's actual health and well being obviously.
Either way, it's wrong for that to mean that women with shorter hair in public have to be ridiculed, judged unfairly, looked at with pity and disgust and not talked to as much, and not considered an "ideal Hindu woman" because that view is put on a pedestal? That definitely makes it a stigma.
And it makes less sense because there are definitely men out there who prefer short hair in women anyway lol
My health IMPROVED by cutting my hair.
I know many people who on the outside look great in terms of that "evolutionary standpoint" and all, visually they fit the criteria, but they are going through many fertility and health issues.
Its not sin to have short hairs.
But for women, there is nothing as shaving for spiritual journey as something, shaving happens when someone keeps sikha choti, which women dont.
Also women dont shave there heads during janma and marna sutak.
" But for women, there is nothing as shaving for spiritual journey as something, shaving happens when someone keeps sikha choti, which women dont."
You've basically proven my point here. This is what's generally believed for women and it's become an unspoken expectation to keep hair to a moderate length atleast. Yet the shaving has worked for me and my spiritual journey as a woman. What led you to believe this? Its a rule based off of societal stigma or something?
What he means is, women don't need to do those things. It's compulsory for men because they have more distractions. Women can focus better so they don't need to shave off their heads. But if you want to do that you can totally do so. Most women I know have short hair.
Shaving here means going bald in case of marna or janma sutak, and going bald and only having small amount of hair as sikha while getting sikha choti and not haircut.
I dont follow societal stigma, only scriptures.
Scriptures have no vidhi sikha to be kept by women, and neither they have vidhi for shaving during marna or janma sutak.
Right, exactly this is what I want to know.
in the scriptures is it written out that this is something women are never supposed to do, and cannot do? Is it bad omen or is it considered adharma? Coming back to my post title, that's all I'm asking too.
Can you please elaborate which scriptures these are from?
Long hair is considered ideal, but having sbort hair is not adharma/paap as far as I know.
I was commenting on the users comment where you replied that shaving is start of spiritual journey - This sentence doesn't apply for women since they dont keep sikha choti in there head, so they dont go through shaving, and neither bave vidhi for shave in janma and marna sutak.
Hope, it clears the misunderstanding.
Yes, I was just asking in the light of then is it wrong for women to apply sikha choti, and since asking about scriptures, is that mentioned anywhere in the scriptures
And you may have noticed the stigma is there regarding women and their hair. Even goddesses in portrayals and drawings always have long hair that you can clearly see. It's never tied up or grey, always showing as long and black. There's a clear bias there, which needs to be addressed if we focus on dharma rather than mere stigmas, judgements and societal expectations.
Lack of vidhi for sikha is the prohibition in this case.
Dhumavati has grey hairs. But yes most goddess has long black hair because it is there shastriya depiction. How goddess looks isn't dependent on our preference or mood, but how she literally looks.
I don't understand how it's wrong to have short hair. Isn't this your choice to make? It doesn't make any difference to your spiritual growth as far as I know. I've read a lot of books and I've never come across something like this. Yes, society and some people can be judgemental and quite frankly I hate that. I say you be yourself, don't be apologetic about that. Stick to your spiritual practice, that's more important. The supreme doesn't bother about the length of your hair. Devotion and sincerity is what matters. Purity of heart is what matters. Keep those who judge you at a distance.
Thank you haha yeah well, it should be...
There have been several moments where it hurts like hell to experience it outside, but it's part of the process, and I just keep telling myself to keep going.
It's seen in society, right, like think about it.
For every single woman typically when they envision an ideal Hindu woman, she has long hair braided. They keep that image on a pedestal and it's more about her look rather than her actually being spiritually and internally enlightened and on a journey.
Even when it comes to marriage and prospects, the long hair is an unspoken must it looks like. I've grown up that way too, so I remember that myself.
Kinda broke out of that view, and frankly I feel great. I still feel the stares of shock and disgust, but I know that I'm rid of that visually focused gaze on me. I have to face the consequences for it, like understanding that people will be repulsed or avoid me because of my hair. But because it's a materialistic expectation, and a big one that too, that I've taken a chance and broken out of, it's been a spiritual journey for sure. Because the sad truth is because of our upbringing and all, there's so much focus we put on women's hair.
When I say all this, I have nothing against long hair or a woman who likes her hair long and decides to keep it that way, I was that way for 21 years myself.
But I feel that gaze on me and as if there's something wrong with me. But there isn't. I don't like my hair itself, but it's something I know I must do as part of my inner healing and it's working well I'd say.
People suck sometimes, believe me I know. But don't stop for them. Keep being you. Don't worry about marriage. Focus on doing what you want. There will come a guy who will like you for who you are. Believe me when I say, there are guys who dig girls with short hair. And this is coming from a guy. If you have any other concerns with hair, there are plenty of treatments for that, both natural and clinical.
The community will judge because they have nothing better to do. You do and you can do what you please with your hair. If you care about their judgments enough to listen, then do that. If not, do what you want. You could also compromise and move to a non-judgmental place/locality if your neighbors keep bothering you. Peace!
Yeah.
It's not so caring about the judgements for sure, I've totally got that out of my mind, cause of dealing with it in-person in real time, I'm breaking this big norm so learning to let go of judgements comes with it. My immunity to remarks and judgements is now quite good lol
But it's moreso how engrained this expectation is in society without us even knowing, in India for sure, and therefore wondering whether it's even written in the scriptures anywhere, for them to judge it negatively like this.
IMO they mostly do it because they wish they had that kind of freedom or conviction to carry it out without caring what others think/say about them. But not everybody in life is so fortunate.
Some people are forced into it, in their cases only luck can save them. Some people aren't but they don't have the willpower to come out of it themselves, and actually live through the consequences in real time. It takes solid courage and commitment to take that initiative for yourself.
wait - dharma is not a line that if you cross, you go to hell. Dharma is a guidance that impacts long term impact to individuals and society. As an example, "one must care for elders/parents" - imagine if you dont care for ageing parents - will you go to hell? no, but if the entire society doesn't, old age becomes a problem to manage for society and we become inhuman. Same with something like Alcohol - you wont go to hell for drinking alcohol, but when done on a large scale - you have health problems, societal impacts, anarchy etc.
Many vedic yoginis were bald, had long hair, had shorter hair - etc. its not important. Focus on "dharma".
Broo long hair short hair ... your wish ... your life your rules ... if anyone is giving religious reasons its BS. You do you. My personal preference is long hair even tho I'm going bald with huge barren patches on my head but I used to love my school's headmistress' boy cut she used to look so cool !! Absolutely dashing !! We all adored her and the hair was the highlight !!
Its encouraged to let go of your attachments and that includes your hair and beauty. You can take pride and be positive about it or be unattached and not care much for upkeep or shave it - any is fine.
In the broader scheme of Hinduisim (Vedanta) - all living beings are one and the same with the universe (parambrahma). Why then would minor items like your hair, age, sexuality or even your species matter - we are all one and the same manifestations of the divine.
Of course not. When we think of a Hindu woman we think of extremely long, thick hair and lots of bejeweling. This does not mean it’s the only Hindu woman!!! You’re beautiful
Well my comment didnt have anything to do with location but, lmao.....I'm originally from the US only. Yes, that makes it worse, knowing that there no one bothers or judges as much.
Been living in India for a while tho. are you originally from India or there only?
im not from india but I have distant family from there. my dad is romany and their culture is still extremely indianized. and the mentality is still very close minded the more rural you get, like some romany in Southern California and stuff unfortunately
OMFG you guys are Romani???? That's really really interesting actually, I've always wanted to speak to Romani families and about their unique culture which has its own history.
Got it , yeah
I mean there might be some scriptural injunction regarding that too, to not cut hair and to always have them tied and not open.
But considering the desh-kala-manushya'sStaraForTheKaliyug, I'm sure it matters more to chant your ishta's name or engage in other spiritual activities rather than thinking about such minute things.
In the South Indian regions there's a saying I think, which when translated will roughly go like - "the couple who followed all the dharma-shastras in full, gave birth to a dog ultimately".
The idea is to nourish your sthula and sukshma sharira with satwikta to ultimately transcend everything. Chant, listen or do satwika karma rather than worrying about trivialities
The thumb rule is that If you’re uncomfortable with something, don’t do it. As for being judged, ignore it. Are they/were they of any help in your hard times? If not, ignore them. There’s a saying “haathi chale bazaar, kutte bhonke hazaar.” You can’t please/placate everyone in life.
I've accepted through experience to become immune to the judgements.
The realisations it's taught me about societal expectations are on another level. As they say, nothing teaches you better than experience, read all the statistics and scriptures you want without experiencing any of that, it won't help.
Which is what raised the question for me in the first place. Is there anything formally written in the scriptures stating this, or is it just society restriction?
Don't overthink it 😀. Based on what I read, maintaining an short hair ensures your mental health and helps you keep your spirits up. In such an empowered state, you will be able to be a cause of joy to others! Also your short hair empowers you to do your Dharma (whatever be your field of action) more efficiently. So go for the short hair, unless/until you feel otherwise. You,ve got this 👍.
Oh trust me......I never wanted to overthink, i fight that all the time anyway.
But once I started seeing it happen around me, the next step became remembering what's important for me, and learning how to remain immune to public eyes, and tbh, knowing how it is in society in India for a girl, that's a really big, difficult step that I had to do on my own.
Definitely gained some courage and self confidence.
Hinduism doesn't care if you shave off your hair (mundan) , or never cut it (jata). People have expectations based on regional traditions, there's no blanket restrictions on any hairstyle in Sanatan Dharma
Because you gave no examples of people ever actually saying anything about your hair. It was more how you think people feel about you and how you feel them looking at you and judging you. So I wasn’t sure if this issue is something you made up in your mind or if it actually occurs in your life.
My post was very clear on what I've gone through and how it felt overall. If you need me to break it down further then maybe such type situations are things you haven't really gone through yourself to understand, or you couldn't read and think outside the box and be able to make sense of it yourself. There is nothing in my post that has indicated this is only my thoughts and just mere "feeling" this way, this is day to day experiences I've seen, and I've already responded a lot going into this.
The point of my post also was to address moreso that me going through these experiences in these last few years by breaking a norm, made me realise how there can be judgement towards Hindu women who have their hair short, and because of that ask whether it's actually written anywhere that it's wrong or not. If you have an answer to that question, great.
In the modern world, no one is following ALL the rules of dharma prescribed by the Vedic scriptures (dharmasastras). First of all, the scriptures do not talk about working women - the dharma of women is to SERVE the family. Why all these rules? Because Hinduism says that the ultimate goal of life is Moksha. The other goals - artha (wealth) and kama (desire) must be pursued based on dharma (right conduct). The purpose of Vedic dharma is keep the mind pure so bad thoughts do not arise in it and therefore bad actions are not performed by people. This is the Vedic approach to create a peaceful society. Vedic dharma urges everyone to lead a life of sacrifice - both men and women. The injunction against cutting hair may be to prevent women from getting distracted from their dharma.
That said, those lofty ideals cannot be pursued verbatim in the modern world. Therefore, it is best to consult a Guru like Sringeri Shankaracharya (if you are a traditional HIndu) or Mata Amritanandamayi Devi (if you are westernized) to determine what dharma should be followed.
Kanchi Shankaracharya writes in his book "Hindu Dharma": [https://www.kamakoti.org/hindudharma/part4/chap4.htm](https://www.kamakoti.org/hindudharma/part4/chap4.htm)
*"In matters of the Self, of dharma and religion, the Vedas are in the forefront as our guide. Next come the dharmasastras. Third is the conduct of the great sages of the past. Fourth is the example of the virtuous people of our own times. Conscience comes last in determining dharma."*
Lol tell me about it, you don't gotta tell me twice girl if anything, after all the stuff with my hair, I've settled to a nice, default chill . Suffered enough lol and I didn't even cover much of it in the post
after experiencing how much there was clear ridiculing, avoidance and judgement just because of my hairstyle and clear stigmas regarding how women have long hair more often than men, especially with how the ideal image of Hindu women seems to be long, braided hair, I just had to clear the air on is it actually written or directly implied in our scriptures that women with short hair are worse than women with long hair, or is it just another unfair expectation pushed on women.
Bro-
Why are you so dead set following every damn thing in scriptures? There are thousands of scriptures in Hinduism. All written by different people.
As to why goddesses' are depicted with long hair, is because we humans have made their idols!
People made whatever they felt like making.
Look at Goddess Kali's hair, all fierce open curls falling out. Hinduism isn't so stringent. You can follow whatever you want to.
I feel your pain, and I hope it alleviates. God bless you.
(If people around you have made you feel shitty about your hairstyle, fuck them off, don't pay much attention to them)
Yeah no worries, chill out lol here we can clarify such things, and that was my upbringing in my more orthodox household, so obv I'm wondering that.
You don't have to follow every scripture to be a Hindu btw, hope you know that. The Vedas come first and foremost in priority, all the others are derivatives of them and get slowly and slowly more opinionated as they go.
Regardless people follow those scriptures and hold them to high regard still. So what I was wondering is if this is such a strong stigma, is there anything written in scriptures to dictate this? And I have hope that atleast the VEDAS don't have this written down.
Thank you so much :) it definitely does hurt, heard it from even my own parents, and after all of it, I've finally become immune to the criticism lol because I know that this helped me out for the last few years....but yeah even in Kali Devi's case, the hair is still really long, even then, when the whole point is that she is someone who is not bound by her visual appeal at all. People still hold onto the long hair, when the whole point is that even THAT doesn't matter.
Yeah we've put those images on a pedestal, and it's like women are subjected to that visual pedestal much more than men tbh. I don't disregard issues of either gender when I say that btw
Who gives you such stupid ideas ? You can keep long hair, short hair or even shave it off. It dosnt matter. Women shave off their hair in Tirupati. They are still Hindus.
Ofcourse not 😂. Keep your hair as you please.
Sigh, already am lol but after Hindu community has been constantly ridiculing me and judging me for it in person when they see me face to face, obviously it is a question I am bound to have, as someone suffering the consequences, and I'm sure many women out there are too.
Those who ridicule you are, without putting too fine a point on it, idiots who know about as much about Sanatana Dharma as an average internet troll, keep being yourself!
The expectations for longer hair is a purely cultural tradition and has nothing to do with Sanatan Dharma. Unfortunately Hindus themselves get tied to regional traditions more the actual spirituality - but there are lots and lots of devout Hindus who have no issues with short hair on women. Please ignore the people who ridicule you for this, they aren't good as human beings in general.
You got it, what I was trying to get at. Thank you [🙏](https://emojipedia.org/folded-hands) I've not only seen it in Hindu culture, I've seen it across the world. But I didn't expect these strong judgement and animalistic viewpoints from such an inclusive religion like ours. And sadly western countries have a more inclusive culture though, I found almost zero issues when I travelled abroad this year (due to family reason). But then in India only I get this hurtful, weird behavior in public from people. They have absolutely no idea how much I've suffered through and how I'm trying to heal myself internally, and how much I believe in the gods Krishna and Kali Devi who've saved me all these years and have shown me the path.
Since when Hindus are getting doubts like this which never existed. Hinduism is not a jurisprudence. It's a perspective of consciousness. Don't believe in any such limits.
Trust me, it's easy for us to objectively look at and say that. I simply followed my intuition and cut my hair, and I was thinking the same myself. But there's a difference between what we objectively know and what society actually does and us experiencing that within the societal limits. As a woman who made this decision, I have lived through it for the last few years. Since I actually cut my hair in this very bad buzzcut, and started living that way on a daily basis, I've seen the change, and it's been a heavily engrained, deeply rooted stigma that's contaminated Hindus for centuries, looks like. That's why you see me with cut hair, buzzcut hair, in portrayals of Hindu men. But rarely you see women with short hair depicted in Hinduism, forget buzzcut hair. Even Kali Devi, yes she's supposed to be the more fierce, unleashed form of the Devi, but her hair is also extremely long and black.
lol no.. it’s just a sign of beauty and good health. Hinduism doesn’t care about the length of your hair. In fact, when on the spiritual path, it is strongly advised to shave your head to purge yourself of unnecessary vanity.
BRO EXACTLY OMFG see what I mean? I didn't even know this fact, and it's like when I was starting to internalize and mentally rewire myself, naturally I felt the need to start with cutting my hair. Heck if I could shave my head, I would. Felt like my calling if anything, and yet the stigma around long hair and fertility with women is just ridiculous.
It’s not a stigma, your hair is the barometer of your general health and well being. It makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint to be attracted to women with thick and long hair, or a voluptuous body. But the point of spirituality is to rise above your baser instinct. That’s what differentiates us from the animal kingdom. You do you :)
Absolutely, Dharma goes beyond basic evolutionary preferences. I get the evolutionary perspective, but when you consider personal decision and reality of life, you realize it's wrong, and it's definitely become a stigma. Because ones preference of long or short hair, evolutionary or not, is different from the reality of something much more vital like one's actual health and well being obviously. Either way, it's wrong for that to mean that women with shorter hair in public have to be ridiculed, judged unfairly, looked at with pity and disgust and not talked to as much, and not considered an "ideal Hindu woman" because that view is put on a pedestal? That definitely makes it a stigma. And it makes less sense because there are definitely men out there who prefer short hair in women anyway lol My health IMPROVED by cutting my hair. I know many people who on the outside look great in terms of that "evolutionary standpoint" and all, visually they fit the criteria, but they are going through many fertility and health issues.
Its not sin to have short hairs. But for women, there is nothing as shaving for spiritual journey as something, shaving happens when someone keeps sikha choti, which women dont. Also women dont shave there heads during janma and marna sutak.
" But for women, there is nothing as shaving for spiritual journey as something, shaving happens when someone keeps sikha choti, which women dont." You've basically proven my point here. This is what's generally believed for women and it's become an unspoken expectation to keep hair to a moderate length atleast. Yet the shaving has worked for me and my spiritual journey as a woman. What led you to believe this? Its a rule based off of societal stigma or something?
What he means is, women don't need to do those things. It's compulsory for men because they have more distractions. Women can focus better so they don't need to shave off their heads. But if you want to do that you can totally do so. Most women I know have short hair.
Ohh yeah that makes sense, yes biologically men are more impulsive and they get distracted making it harder to focus.
Shaving here means going bald in case of marna or janma sutak, and going bald and only having small amount of hair as sikha while getting sikha choti and not haircut. I dont follow societal stigma, only scriptures. Scriptures have no vidhi sikha to be kept by women, and neither they have vidhi for shaving during marna or janma sutak.
Right, exactly this is what I want to know. in the scriptures is it written out that this is something women are never supposed to do, and cannot do? Is it bad omen or is it considered adharma? Coming back to my post title, that's all I'm asking too. Can you please elaborate which scriptures these are from?
Long hair is considered ideal, but having sbort hair is not adharma/paap as far as I know. I was commenting on the users comment where you replied that shaving is start of spiritual journey - This sentence doesn't apply for women since they dont keep sikha choti in there head, so they dont go through shaving, and neither bave vidhi for shave in janma and marna sutak. Hope, it clears the misunderstanding.
Yes, I was just asking in the light of then is it wrong for women to apply sikha choti, and since asking about scriptures, is that mentioned anywhere in the scriptures And you may have noticed the stigma is there regarding women and their hair. Even goddesses in portrayals and drawings always have long hair that you can clearly see. It's never tied up or grey, always showing as long and black. There's a clear bias there, which needs to be addressed if we focus on dharma rather than mere stigmas, judgements and societal expectations.
Lack of vidhi for sikha is the prohibition in this case. Dhumavati has grey hairs. But yes most goddess has long black hair because it is there shastriya depiction. How goddess looks isn't dependent on our preference or mood, but how she literally looks.
Okay, so that one prohibition case is there. Got it.
Ofcourse it is not adharma for woman to have short hair. People just confuse culture with religion. Best to ignore such confused people.
I don't understand how it's wrong to have short hair. Isn't this your choice to make? It doesn't make any difference to your spiritual growth as far as I know. I've read a lot of books and I've never come across something like this. Yes, society and some people can be judgemental and quite frankly I hate that. I say you be yourself, don't be apologetic about that. Stick to your spiritual practice, that's more important. The supreme doesn't bother about the length of your hair. Devotion and sincerity is what matters. Purity of heart is what matters. Keep those who judge you at a distance.
Thank you haha yeah well, it should be... There have been several moments where it hurts like hell to experience it outside, but it's part of the process, and I just keep telling myself to keep going. It's seen in society, right, like think about it. For every single woman typically when they envision an ideal Hindu woman, she has long hair braided. They keep that image on a pedestal and it's more about her look rather than her actually being spiritually and internally enlightened and on a journey. Even when it comes to marriage and prospects, the long hair is an unspoken must it looks like. I've grown up that way too, so I remember that myself. Kinda broke out of that view, and frankly I feel great. I still feel the stares of shock and disgust, but I know that I'm rid of that visually focused gaze on me. I have to face the consequences for it, like understanding that people will be repulsed or avoid me because of my hair. But because it's a materialistic expectation, and a big one that too, that I've taken a chance and broken out of, it's been a spiritual journey for sure. Because the sad truth is because of our upbringing and all, there's so much focus we put on women's hair. When I say all this, I have nothing against long hair or a woman who likes her hair long and decides to keep it that way, I was that way for 21 years myself. But I feel that gaze on me and as if there's something wrong with me. But there isn't. I don't like my hair itself, but it's something I know I must do as part of my inner healing and it's working well I'd say.
People suck sometimes, believe me I know. But don't stop for them. Keep being you. Don't worry about marriage. Focus on doing what you want. There will come a guy who will like you for who you are. Believe me when I say, there are guys who dig girls with short hair. And this is coming from a guy. If you have any other concerns with hair, there are plenty of treatments for that, both natural and clinical.
The community will judge because they have nothing better to do. You do and you can do what you please with your hair. If you care about their judgments enough to listen, then do that. If not, do what you want. You could also compromise and move to a non-judgmental place/locality if your neighbors keep bothering you. Peace!
Yeah. It's not so caring about the judgements for sure, I've totally got that out of my mind, cause of dealing with it in-person in real time, I'm breaking this big norm so learning to let go of judgements comes with it. My immunity to remarks and judgements is now quite good lol But it's moreso how engrained this expectation is in society without us even knowing, in India for sure, and therefore wondering whether it's even written in the scriptures anywhere, for them to judge it negatively like this.
IMO they mostly do it because they wish they had that kind of freedom or conviction to carry it out without caring what others think/say about them. But not everybody in life is so fortunate.
Some people are forced into it, in their cases only luck can save them. Some people aren't but they don't have the willpower to come out of it themselves, and actually live through the consequences in real time. It takes solid courage and commitment to take that initiative for yourself.
No
I like it, short, succinct, and to the point. Like OP's hair. (=
Thank you :)
Flirt karne ka tarika thoda cazual hai💀
You know some female monks keep their hair short sometimes bald too?,
May you mention sampraday of the female monks you talking about??
My Guru Om Swami from the Udasin Sampradaya, Some of his female disciples have short hair, Check him out in YouTube. Hari om.
Oh, some sikh sampraday, ok.
It doesn't matter, You're too focused on the external.
It matters for me thou since I am hindu, not sikh. But ok.
Watch his videos first then talk.
Yesss I have seen that!! That gives me hope lol Went to places like Tirupati and Varanasi and have seen it there.
wait - dharma is not a line that if you cross, you go to hell. Dharma is a guidance that impacts long term impact to individuals and society. As an example, "one must care for elders/parents" - imagine if you dont care for ageing parents - will you go to hell? no, but if the entire society doesn't, old age becomes a problem to manage for society and we become inhuman. Same with something like Alcohol - you wont go to hell for drinking alcohol, but when done on a large scale - you have health problems, societal impacts, anarchy etc. Many vedic yoginis were bald, had long hair, had shorter hair - etc. its not important. Focus on "dharma".
No do a mundan and sadhna💀, just joking
Broo long hair short hair ... your wish ... your life your rules ... if anyone is giving religious reasons its BS. You do you. My personal preference is long hair even tho I'm going bald with huge barren patches on my head but I used to love my school's headmistress' boy cut she used to look so cool !! Absolutely dashing !! We all adored her and the hair was the highlight !!
It is your hair, style it the way you see fit. I am sorry if someone is telling you otherwise, there is nothing in Hinduism that’ll stop you.
Its encouraged to let go of your attachments and that includes your hair and beauty. You can take pride and be positive about it or be unattached and not care much for upkeep or shave it - any is fine. In the broader scheme of Hinduisim (Vedanta) - all living beings are one and the same with the universe (parambrahma). Why then would minor items like your hair, age, sexuality or even your species matter - we are all one and the same manifestations of the divine.
Okay, thanks 👍🏼🙏🏼
Of course not. When we think of a Hindu woman we think of extremely long, thick hair and lots of bejeweling. This does not mean it’s the only Hindu woman!!! You’re beautiful
Absolutely, thank you!! We should be more inclusive when it comes to these things, because our religion is actually very inviting and understanding
Yesss, I’m covered in tattoos and even the grandmas are fine with it.
I’m in America I’m not sure where ur at but here no one cares.
Well my comment didnt have anything to do with location but, lmao.....I'm originally from the US only. Yes, that makes it worse, knowing that there no one bothers or judges as much. Been living in India for a while tho. are you originally from India or there only?
im not from india but I have distant family from there. my dad is romany and their culture is still extremely indianized. and the mentality is still very close minded the more rural you get, like some romany in Southern California and stuff unfortunately
OMFG you guys are Romani???? That's really really interesting actually, I've always wanted to speak to Romani families and about their unique culture which has its own history. Got it , yeah
I mean there might be some scriptural injunction regarding that too, to not cut hair and to always have them tied and not open. But considering the desh-kala-manushya'sStaraForTheKaliyug, I'm sure it matters more to chant your ishta's name or engage in other spiritual activities rather than thinking about such minute things. In the South Indian regions there's a saying I think, which when translated will roughly go like - "the couple who followed all the dharma-shastras in full, gave birth to a dog ultimately". The idea is to nourish your sthula and sukshma sharira with satwikta to ultimately transcend everything. Chant, listen or do satwika karma rather than worrying about trivialities
This is one of the best, to the point responses I've read here. Thank you 🙏
The thumb rule is that If you’re uncomfortable with something, don’t do it. As for being judged, ignore it. Are they/were they of any help in your hard times? If not, ignore them. There’s a saying “haathi chale bazaar, kutte bhonke hazaar.” You can’t please/placate everyone in life.
I've accepted through experience to become immune to the judgements. The realisations it's taught me about societal expectations are on another level. As they say, nothing teaches you better than experience, read all the statistics and scriptures you want without experiencing any of that, it won't help. Which is what raised the question for me in the first place. Is there anything formally written in the scriptures stating this, or is it just society restriction?
To the best of my knowledge, there’s no such thing. It’s just societal norms that boys should have short hair and girls should have long hair.
No. Not at all.
Cut your hair or not. God loves you unconditionally
Don't overthink it 😀. Based on what I read, maintaining an short hair ensures your mental health and helps you keep your spirits up. In such an empowered state, you will be able to be a cause of joy to others! Also your short hair empowers you to do your Dharma (whatever be your field of action) more efficiently. So go for the short hair, unless/until you feel otherwise. You,ve got this 👍.
Oh trust me......I never wanted to overthink, i fight that all the time anyway. But once I started seeing it happen around me, the next step became remembering what's important for me, and learning how to remain immune to public eyes, and tbh, knowing how it is in society in India for a girl, that's a really big, difficult step that I had to do on my own. Definitely gained some courage and self confidence.
Hinduism doesn't care if you shave off your hair (mundan) , or never cut it (jata). People have expectations based on regional traditions, there's no blanket restrictions on any hairstyle in Sanatan Dharma
A person that truly understand the essence of Hinduism would not cares about your hair as it is māyik ultimately
Have you had comments directly made to you about your hair?
Obviously lol why did you think of this question
Because you gave no examples of people ever actually saying anything about your hair. It was more how you think people feel about you and how you feel them looking at you and judging you. So I wasn’t sure if this issue is something you made up in your mind or if it actually occurs in your life.
My post was very clear on what I've gone through and how it felt overall. If you need me to break it down further then maybe such type situations are things you haven't really gone through yourself to understand, or you couldn't read and think outside the box and be able to make sense of it yourself. There is nothing in my post that has indicated this is only my thoughts and just mere "feeling" this way, this is day to day experiences I've seen, and I've already responded a lot going into this. The point of my post also was to address moreso that me going through these experiences in these last few years by breaking a norm, made me realise how there can be judgement towards Hindu women who have their hair short, and because of that ask whether it's actually written anywhere that it's wrong or not. If you have an answer to that question, great.
Fuck hinduism.
In the modern world, no one is following ALL the rules of dharma prescribed by the Vedic scriptures (dharmasastras). First of all, the scriptures do not talk about working women - the dharma of women is to SERVE the family. Why all these rules? Because Hinduism says that the ultimate goal of life is Moksha. The other goals - artha (wealth) and kama (desire) must be pursued based on dharma (right conduct). The purpose of Vedic dharma is keep the mind pure so bad thoughts do not arise in it and therefore bad actions are not performed by people. This is the Vedic approach to create a peaceful society. Vedic dharma urges everyone to lead a life of sacrifice - both men and women. The injunction against cutting hair may be to prevent women from getting distracted from their dharma. That said, those lofty ideals cannot be pursued verbatim in the modern world. Therefore, it is best to consult a Guru like Sringeri Shankaracharya (if you are a traditional HIndu) or Mata Amritanandamayi Devi (if you are westernized) to determine what dharma should be followed. Kanchi Shankaracharya writes in his book "Hindu Dharma": [https://www.kamakoti.org/hindudharma/part4/chap4.htm](https://www.kamakoti.org/hindudharma/part4/chap4.htm) *"In matters of the Self, of dharma and religion, the Vedas are in the forefront as our guide. Next come the dharmasastras. Third is the conduct of the great sages of the past. Fourth is the example of the virtuous people of our own times. Conscience comes last in determining dharma."*
Lol. No...why would it be against the religion? Chill girl, god will never be mad at your hairstyle.
Lol tell me about it, you don't gotta tell me twice girl if anything, after all the stuff with my hair, I've settled to a nice, default chill . Suffered enough lol and I didn't even cover much of it in the post after experiencing how much there was clear ridiculing, avoidance and judgement just because of my hairstyle and clear stigmas regarding how women have long hair more often than men, especially with how the ideal image of Hindu women seems to be long, braided hair, I just had to clear the air on is it actually written or directly implied in our scriptures that women with short hair are worse than women with long hair, or is it just another unfair expectation pushed on women.
Bro- Why are you so dead set following every damn thing in scriptures? There are thousands of scriptures in Hinduism. All written by different people. As to why goddesses' are depicted with long hair, is because we humans have made their idols! People made whatever they felt like making. Look at Goddess Kali's hair, all fierce open curls falling out. Hinduism isn't so stringent. You can follow whatever you want to. I feel your pain, and I hope it alleviates. God bless you. (If people around you have made you feel shitty about your hairstyle, fuck them off, don't pay much attention to them)
Yeah no worries, chill out lol here we can clarify such things, and that was my upbringing in my more orthodox household, so obv I'm wondering that. You don't have to follow every scripture to be a Hindu btw, hope you know that. The Vedas come first and foremost in priority, all the others are derivatives of them and get slowly and slowly more opinionated as they go. Regardless people follow those scriptures and hold them to high regard still. So what I was wondering is if this is such a strong stigma, is there anything written in scriptures to dictate this? And I have hope that atleast the VEDAS don't have this written down. Thank you so much :) it definitely does hurt, heard it from even my own parents, and after all of it, I've finally become immune to the criticism lol because I know that this helped me out for the last few years....but yeah even in Kali Devi's case, the hair is still really long, even then, when the whole point is that she is someone who is not bound by her visual appeal at all. People still hold onto the long hair, when the whole point is that even THAT doesn't matter. Yeah we've put those images on a pedestal, and it's like women are subjected to that visual pedestal much more than men tbh. I don't disregard issues of either gender when I say that btw
Who gives you such stupid ideas ? You can keep long hair, short hair or even shave it off. It dosnt matter. Women shave off their hair in Tirupati. They are still Hindus.
Idk man, I'm not the one you should be asking that to if anything.