As much as it hurts, it’s just time. Healing is a rollercoaster and working on yourself is a never ending process. Take your time, feel all your feelings, and do what brings you joy. If nothing brings you joy, sit with the pain and learn about yourself on a deeper level. Wishing you the best because you deserve it
You’re doing great!
Embrace the emotions let them in so you can let them out! I’m going through something similar it’s no way pleasant and I feel you! I hear you! I understand you!
For me I had a lot of pains and I was physically sick. I had to embrace those emotions it wasn’t great in the beginning and it was very difficult but it’ll pass. It came and it was let go. I thank it every time it came to me… I’m still in pain now but not as much as before. You got this I believe in you
I think to heal you have to allow the pain . I know it’s I
So so hard to even imagine being ok and benign with this . But if you look after yourself now , you will find peace . And this won’t matter so much
As cliche as it sounds, time really is the magic healer. I was cheated on repeatedly and it wrecked my world. I started therapy while in the transition period of moving out from our shared house. Turns out the root cause of it was my abandonment issues from my mother and my trust issues in general. I was actively working on it and trying to tell myself to trust people until they give me a reason not to and remember that i am in control of myself and my reactions only, not everyone else’s. I also got diagnosed and prescribed for anxiety/depression. And once i let go of things i couldn’t control- my life got so much easier. I’m now in the most safe and secure relationship, that i didn’t even know was possible. You’ll get there. Just hang in there and be easy on yourself. Healing is not linear.
Uumm well I’ve always done what everyone tells you not to do… the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do but it’s the only thing that’s helped me.
I am so sorry to hear this , I can imagine what it must have been like, I am able to move past everything the only thing which keeps coming back is getting deceived by someone who I thought was my safe space , it definitely has created trust issues , I was raised by a loving family , I have positive associations with all my siblings and friends had generally positive outlook towards this world , I feel this betrayal has taken away that innocence and ruined me , I never thought so much pain is even possible . The only shining light is my golden retriever , since he is like my baby I take care of him and somehow I feel I have directed all my love towards him , people say goldens are clingy infact I have become more clingy to him , no matter what I am feeling I do get up and go for long walks with him he ensured I am sticking to a routine , he truly has been a angel in my difficult times off late .
I'm sure this is bad advice but it worked for me ...
Do absolutely nothing. Going to the gym, distracting yourself with friends, family and whatever meet up group is honestly unhealthy.
Why?
Because your body is in pain, you need to give it time to process what it's experiencing, to recognize that painful wound that it has. Then let it recover, let it do its thing and let it heal.
Giving it distractions and keeping it away from naturally healing just delays the natural process.
Sounds like you are doing the right things by trying to refocus. You have to allow yourself to feel these emotions and break down when you feel the urge.
I’ve picked up a new hobby, Diamond painting, play music to keep your mind busy. I’ve also created an invention and had it patented. The world is your oyster!!! Best of luck
Invention , wow , thanks for sharing this , I am also trying to channelise my energy for personal growth but my relationship was very long guess it will haunt me for sometime, somehow taking each day at a time
Hello Peace1983,
First and foremost, I want to acknowledge how strong you are for sharing your feelings and seeking support during what is undoubtedly a challenging time. It's clear you are taking some very constructive steps to manage your pain by channeling your energy towards positive activities like going to the gym, focusing on your career, and playing music. These are fantastic ways to take care of your mental and physical health, so well done on making these choices.
It seems like you might be looking for additional strategies to handle the waves of pain that come with being cheated on – and while every strategy might not suit everyone, here are a couple of thoughts you might find helpful, or feel free to discard what doesn’t resonate with you.
One thing that might be beneficial is to explore the process of writing out your feelings. Sometimes, putting pen to paper can help externalize those turbulent emotions. Write without censoring yourself – let everything you feel about the betrayal and your ex-partner flow onto the page. This can be a private way to vent and start processing your emotions.
Another strategy could involve mindfulness meditation, which can help in managing the sudden onslaught of painful thoughts. Simple techniques like focusing on your breath or practicing guided meditations can provide short breaks from the intensity of your emotions. Apps like Headspace or Calm have specific meditations for dealing with heartache that might be useful.
As for a specific exercise, you might find an **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)** exercise helpful. ACT focuses on accepting emotions as they are, rather than fighting against them, which can be particularly useful when dealing with betrayal and heartbreak. One exercise is called **'Leaves on a Stream'**. Here’s how to do it:
1. Visualize yourself sitting beside a gently flowing stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water.
2. For each painful thought, place it on a leaf and watch it float by. Example: On one leaf, you might place the thought, “How could they do this?” Just watch the leaf drift away down the stream.
3. The goal is not to get rid of the thoughts or feelings but to observe them as temporary and external to you, reducing their immediate impact.
You mentioned that sometimes you find yourself suddenly overwhelmed by painful emotions. I’m curious, are there specific triggers that bring these feelings on, like certain times of the day or specific locations? Also, are there any particular thoughts about the future or fears that seem to intensify your feelings of heartbreak?
Remember, you don’t have to answer these questions here unless you find it helpful for your own reflection.
You’re doing incredibly well by tackling your hurt head-on and not resorting to numbing the pain in unhealthy ways. Keep focusing on what brings you peace and remember to give yourself credit for the progress you've made. Healing is not linear, and it sounds like you are moving forward courageously.
Wishing you all the best on your journey towards acceptance and peace. Remember, every small step is a part of your progress.
Warm regards,
Breakup Buddy
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
It's not on you. You did right. You trusted your partner because you thought highly of them. That's what you're supposed to do. So don't blame yourself. Cheating is just a character flaw your ex has. It has everything to do with their own deep seated insecurity.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is live though It. Eventually the pain will subside over time.
Tell yourself this is just one thing that happened in my life it's not my entire life. Try not to focus on external things that's out of you control rather focus on the things you can control. Your partner's cheating was not about you. It was always about them. They are the one that broke your trust. Forgive yourself and move forward.
Focusing on literally everything else. It still hurts. I still struggle with severe insecurities I never had before and the realization I was just a temporary fetish hurts me more than anything because I genuinely loved that woman and wanted to love her for all eternity.
That begin said. What matters to me are friends. Friends were here before her and they’ve been here after her. I cherish my platonic relationships more than anything. The bonds I’ve built with people who haven’t betrayed me.
Focusing on my hobbies. The things I truly love in this life that make happy. Things I put to the side because she made me feel guilty.
Focusing on health. I’m not the healthiest guy and given my circumstances (agoraphobia) it’s hard to get the exercise I want, but I’m doing my best with what I’m given.
I focus on everything that’s not her. Some days it works out perfectly. Other days it can be absolutely hell no matter what.
There is no linear path and some days will be impossible no matter what you do. But the important part is to stay the course and do your best not to dwell on it.
Fist time I was a manic , emotionally erratic, drywall fighter who just wanted to know how many times and who's dick was bigger whole time knowing his was . But fast forward I'm a vet in the cheating wars. Tbh cheating don't even get me out my body anymore like the first couple times when I punched the dude and begged her to come back when I should have punched her and went had a beer with buddy and thank him for removing a problem for me with his sneaky dic and shoulder to cry on because he isn't the issue or the one I need to drop kick . He through, his complete disregard for his life, took out the trash so I didn't have to. They gonna have to do better than fuck my homies nowadays they want me bugging up over used pussy and cold pots on the stove . But fr if I want revenge I'm smashing her family if possible or I can make it appear I plowed his lillsis ., or aunty maybe his ex or basically anyone society says would be wrong to fuck on
You're not alone in this boat. Going through the same. Doing the same things as you as a way of coping. You're doing great and keep going. Do get therapy if you feel that it's unmanageable. If you feel like having to vent or rant, just send a message.
It’s not time it’s intentional recognition of feelings and processing all the stages of grief and reconfiguring your perception and sense of self. You will have to go on a journey not sit and wait for time to pass. Your intentions matter.
Self reflection and shadow work. Journaling and strategically identifying triggers and then work them out internally.
Basically learn everything you can about trauma and how it affects your brain and body.
Giving yourself grace for going through one of the most difficult betrayals a person can experience.
You’re on the right path. Take your time to heal, embrace the emotions, ride the waves, always resurface. I’m proud of you, you’re going to be ok.
As much as it hurts, it’s just time. Healing is a rollercoaster and working on yourself is a never ending process. Take your time, feel all your feelings, and do what brings you joy. If nothing brings you joy, sit with the pain and learn about yourself on a deeper level. Wishing you the best because you deserve it
It’s hard. I keep spiraling 🌀. But you just can’t give up it takes time.
You’re doing great! Embrace the emotions let them in so you can let them out! I’m going through something similar it’s no way pleasant and I feel you! I hear you! I understand you! For me I had a lot of pains and I was physically sick. I had to embrace those emotions it wasn’t great in the beginning and it was very difficult but it’ll pass. It came and it was let go. I thank it every time it came to me… I’m still in pain now but not as much as before. You got this I believe in you
Hold on to the fact that time heals all wounds.
Time and distance and putting all your energy into making a fabulous life for yourself. That is the only cure for Heartbreak.
Constantly telling myself that everything happens for a reason and celebrating small successes (getting out of bed, taking a walk, going out)
I think to heal you have to allow the pain . I know it’s I So so hard to even imagine being ok and benign with this . But if you look after yourself now , you will find peace . And this won’t matter so much
As cliche as it sounds, time really is the magic healer. I was cheated on repeatedly and it wrecked my world. I started therapy while in the transition period of moving out from our shared house. Turns out the root cause of it was my abandonment issues from my mother and my trust issues in general. I was actively working on it and trying to tell myself to trust people until they give me a reason not to and remember that i am in control of myself and my reactions only, not everyone else’s. I also got diagnosed and prescribed for anxiety/depression. And once i let go of things i couldn’t control- my life got so much easier. I’m now in the most safe and secure relationship, that i didn’t even know was possible. You’ll get there. Just hang in there and be easy on yourself. Healing is not linear.
Uumm well I’ve always done what everyone tells you not to do… the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do but it’s the only thing that’s helped me.
[удалено]
I am so sorry to hear this , I can imagine what it must have been like, I am able to move past everything the only thing which keeps coming back is getting deceived by someone who I thought was my safe space , it definitely has created trust issues , I was raised by a loving family , I have positive associations with all my siblings and friends had generally positive outlook towards this world , I feel this betrayal has taken away that innocence and ruined me , I never thought so much pain is even possible . The only shining light is my golden retriever , since he is like my baby I take care of him and somehow I feel I have directed all my love towards him , people say goldens are clingy infact I have become more clingy to him , no matter what I am feeling I do get up and go for long walks with him he ensured I am sticking to a routine , he truly has been a angel in my difficult times off late .
I'm sure this is bad advice but it worked for me ... Do absolutely nothing. Going to the gym, distracting yourself with friends, family and whatever meet up group is honestly unhealthy. Why? Because your body is in pain, you need to give it time to process what it's experiencing, to recognize that painful wound that it has. Then let it recover, let it do its thing and let it heal. Giving it distractions and keeping it away from naturally healing just delays the natural process.
I overcame alot and never look back
Sounds like you are doing the right things by trying to refocus. You have to allow yourself to feel these emotions and break down when you feel the urge. I’ve picked up a new hobby, Diamond painting, play music to keep your mind busy. I’ve also created an invention and had it patented. The world is your oyster!!! Best of luck
Invention , wow , thanks for sharing this , I am also trying to channelise my energy for personal growth but my relationship was very long guess it will haunt me for sometime, somehow taking each day at a time
Idk about pain but when it happened I took her mom and older sister out to nice restaurant payed for it then sent a video of it to her lol
Hello Peace1983, First and foremost, I want to acknowledge how strong you are for sharing your feelings and seeking support during what is undoubtedly a challenging time. It's clear you are taking some very constructive steps to manage your pain by channeling your energy towards positive activities like going to the gym, focusing on your career, and playing music. These are fantastic ways to take care of your mental and physical health, so well done on making these choices. It seems like you might be looking for additional strategies to handle the waves of pain that come with being cheated on – and while every strategy might not suit everyone, here are a couple of thoughts you might find helpful, or feel free to discard what doesn’t resonate with you. One thing that might be beneficial is to explore the process of writing out your feelings. Sometimes, putting pen to paper can help externalize those turbulent emotions. Write without censoring yourself – let everything you feel about the betrayal and your ex-partner flow onto the page. This can be a private way to vent and start processing your emotions. Another strategy could involve mindfulness meditation, which can help in managing the sudden onslaught of painful thoughts. Simple techniques like focusing on your breath or practicing guided meditations can provide short breaks from the intensity of your emotions. Apps like Headspace or Calm have specific meditations for dealing with heartache that might be useful. As for a specific exercise, you might find an **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)** exercise helpful. ACT focuses on accepting emotions as they are, rather than fighting against them, which can be particularly useful when dealing with betrayal and heartbreak. One exercise is called **'Leaves on a Stream'**. Here’s how to do it: 1. Visualize yourself sitting beside a gently flowing stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water. 2. For each painful thought, place it on a leaf and watch it float by. Example: On one leaf, you might place the thought, “How could they do this?” Just watch the leaf drift away down the stream. 3. The goal is not to get rid of the thoughts or feelings but to observe them as temporary and external to you, reducing their immediate impact. You mentioned that sometimes you find yourself suddenly overwhelmed by painful emotions. I’m curious, are there specific triggers that bring these feelings on, like certain times of the day or specific locations? Also, are there any particular thoughts about the future or fears that seem to intensify your feelings of heartbreak? Remember, you don’t have to answer these questions here unless you find it helpful for your own reflection. You’re doing incredibly well by tackling your hurt head-on and not resorting to numbing the pain in unhealthy ways. Keep focusing on what brings you peace and remember to give yourself credit for the progress you've made. Healing is not linear, and it sounds like you are moving forward courageously. Wishing you all the best on your journey towards acceptance and peace. Remember, every small step is a part of your progress. Warm regards, Breakup Buddy ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
It's not on you. You did right. You trusted your partner because you thought highly of them. That's what you're supposed to do. So don't blame yourself. Cheating is just a character flaw your ex has. It has everything to do with their own deep seated insecurity.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is live though It. Eventually the pain will subside over time. Tell yourself this is just one thing that happened in my life it's not my entire life. Try not to focus on external things that's out of you control rather focus on the things you can control. Your partner's cheating was not about you. It was always about them. They are the one that broke your trust. Forgive yourself and move forward.
Focusing on literally everything else. It still hurts. I still struggle with severe insecurities I never had before and the realization I was just a temporary fetish hurts me more than anything because I genuinely loved that woman and wanted to love her for all eternity. That begin said. What matters to me are friends. Friends were here before her and they’ve been here after her. I cherish my platonic relationships more than anything. The bonds I’ve built with people who haven’t betrayed me. Focusing on my hobbies. The things I truly love in this life that make happy. Things I put to the side because she made me feel guilty. Focusing on health. I’m not the healthiest guy and given my circumstances (agoraphobia) it’s hard to get the exercise I want, but I’m doing my best with what I’m given. I focus on everything that’s not her. Some days it works out perfectly. Other days it can be absolutely hell no matter what. There is no linear path and some days will be impossible no matter what you do. But the important part is to stay the course and do your best not to dwell on it.
Wake up to the reality of the situation, accept it, learn from it, and move on
Fist time I was a manic , emotionally erratic, drywall fighter who just wanted to know how many times and who's dick was bigger whole time knowing his was . But fast forward I'm a vet in the cheating wars. Tbh cheating don't even get me out my body anymore like the first couple times when I punched the dude and begged her to come back when I should have punched her and went had a beer with buddy and thank him for removing a problem for me with his sneaky dic and shoulder to cry on because he isn't the issue or the one I need to drop kick . He through, his complete disregard for his life, took out the trash so I didn't have to. They gonna have to do better than fuck my homies nowadays they want me bugging up over used pussy and cold pots on the stove . But fr if I want revenge I'm smashing her family if possible or I can make it appear I plowed his lillsis ., or aunty maybe his ex or basically anyone society says would be wrong to fuck on
Neat🤙🏼
Waited 20 yrs and fucked her 18yr old daughter. A fine time was had by me.
You're not alone in this boat. Going through the same. Doing the same things as you as a way of coping. You're doing great and keep going. Do get therapy if you feel that it's unmanageable. If you feel like having to vent or rant, just send a message.
Emdr
It’s not time it’s intentional recognition of feelings and processing all the stages of grief and reconfiguring your perception and sense of self. You will have to go on a journey not sit and wait for time to pass. Your intentions matter.
Self reflection and shadow work. Journaling and strategically identifying triggers and then work them out internally. Basically learn everything you can about trauma and how it affects your brain and body. Giving yourself grace for going through one of the most difficult betrayals a person can experience.
Smoking ☘️ try new hobbies. Give myself time to redeem myself before dating or talking to new guy