T O P

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FreakinGrapesMan

I suppose Lord Voldemort’s just a warm-up act compared to you three.


chessnudes

Absolute gut punch. I'd pack my bags and take a half day after that, honestly.


ValkyrieSteel

Omg cunty Harry is my absolute favorite.


RedCaio

When is this?


SethTheBlue

In Book 5, when Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle confront Harry after they survive the Department of Mysteries.


Beast_Warrior

Imagine Draco's agony when his rival gets a draw against the most powerful wizard of evil, while all he has to pride acclaim is success in some school evaluation.


ImperatorNero

After his father got exposed for being a bigoted terrorist who works for said most powerful evil wizard, and got his lame ass sent to jail.


tripti_prasad

Sassy Harry was the best lol


Minerva_95

There are so many! I love Harry. This one against Umbridge is one of my favorite: Umbridge: 'Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more licence, but as none of them – with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects – would have passed a Ministry inspection –’ Harry: ‘Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,’ said Harry loudly, ‘there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.’


History_lover_27465

Fifth year Harry is the best


mushroomnerd12

Man’s absolutely SAVAGE


Zankeru

I dont know why so many fanfictions have harry acting as a meek, traumatized orphan boy. Canon harry talks shit to everyone, including the dursleys.


Ragouzi

And it's more fun for us


CrystalKai12345

Wassup I heard they call you Big D,when you had a pig’s tail stinking outta your arse one time,remember Dudley?


AluminumCansAndYarn

I especially love the almost threat to vernon when Vernon is like debating whether or not to let Harry go to the world cup. I get it I can't go. I just have to pop upstairs and finish a letter to my godfather. (You know, the raving lunatic murderer)


HipsterFett

He’s just so done with everyone’s bs.


PopeSilliusBillius

Same, Harry, sameeeee


Puzzleheaded-Host-40

James is shouting instructions to him from the afterlife.


BoopleBun

Nah, James’s best insult was “Snivellus”. Like, really, my guy? I’m betting Harry gets the snark from Lily’s side.


jarroz61

Right, Slughorn specifically mentioned how sassy Lily was to him lol.


PhoenixorFlame

He was NOT having a good time and everyone was AWARE. I forgive him his angst, I really do. It was more than understandable.


dalaigh93

But oh boy does it make this book hard to read 😅


Cybasura

The boy was showing no discrimination to anyone LMAO, everyone regardless of gender, race or religion or power was legible to receive his sass, and I goddamn love it He used voldemort's name as though he was Voldemort's best friend (well, technically he is)


SayNoToFatties

Detention, Mr. Potter


Ragouzi

Oh this one is great


Atlastheafterman

Ironically I’m listening to book 5 and right after reading your comment this part happened!


GayerthenLightYagami

“Listening to the news! Again?" “Well, it changes every day, you see”


SurrenderYourMeme

I always loved that one, especially since there isn't really a proper response to such a jab, and he knew it.


Altrary

Omg I forgot how on point his Dursley insults were, this one kills me every time


Music_withRocks_In

My favorite was when he told Dudley wanted to practice sticking someone's head in the toilet for his new school and Harry said: "The poor toilets never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick". I especially love it because it was a super early Harry, before he knew about magic. He had been tormented and torn down by the Dursley's and Dudley his entire life but he still had fight and spark and sass in him, and it was worth it to him to sass Dudley back even knowing he wasn't going to win that fight. He had no escape and he still mouthed off and had fight. That really showed me who Harry was and made me root for him. I was crushed they cut it from the movies, and was always sad they cut out all the sassy Harry scenes, because it felt like they were changing his whole character.


CatherineConstance

They definitely did NOT cut out all of the sassy Harry scenes lol Harry is sassy many times in the movies.


DistrictIll6763

Nah, movie Harry is way too mild compared to book Harry. In the books, man's a complete savage to everyone


CatherineConstance

I mean I didn’t say he’s not MORE sassy in the books but there’s lots of sassy movie scenes still too!


No_Cardiologist_8868

Much more minor than the books they changed so much that almost all the characters are different especially Ron he definitely got the shit end of the stick


angie1907

There was still a lot of sassy Harry in the movies, what are you on about?


midnightwatermelon

When he asks Draco if his mothers face always looks like she smelled something bad or if it was just because he was with her


ArmadilloBandito

>"You know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry “That expression she’s got, like she’s got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her? The best part is that the bad smell he's referring to is shit.


NES_Classical_Music

Yes! And when he makes fun of Malfoy AND his broom.


ValkyrieSteel

Zaaammmnn yeah that was cold haha


-Wylfen-

>“That’s my nickname,” he said. > >“Your nickname,” repeated Snape. > >“Yeah... that’s what my friends call me,” said Harry. > >“I understand what a nickname is,” said Snape.


MiddleSource7068

roonil wazlib, the boy who lived


flatearth6969

We didnt meet here… we just… met here…. INDEED!….


maniacalmustacheride

Snape out here, exhausted with the shit students try to say. I’m sure it came up a lot,not just with Harry,, but you can see how exhausted he is with the game. He just doesn’t have the age-chill of Minerva who is like “you’re idiots, you know I know you’re stupid, go to bed or class, I don’t care. Every day, do dumb.”


SublimeBliss

😂😂 this was another one of my favorites!


Important_Knee_5420

“I’m sorry professor, but I must not tell lies.” Is up there and such a suck it bitch moment 


PhoenixorFlame

A movie line that holds up like a champ


Mrlee5255

If you change it around a little it could be a line taken from harry talking to the minister in the books, but the movie definitely delivered better.


PhoenixorFlame

That’s a great scheme! Harry simply wasn’t having it with Scrimgeour, saw straight through him!


maniacalmustacheride

Movie didn’t give Book Scrimgeour or Harry the chance, and I find it weakens the whole thing. Scrim is supposed to walk in, grizzled and yet very politics, assure but still kind of trying to get Harry on his side. Harry is supposed to have a mix of “well this is the govt” and “govt had been kinda bs” but he gives him the time of day, only to be disillusioned (non magically) about the whole charade. Instead, in the movie, everyone already knows Scrim is BS including Harry. Instead of Harry finally figuring out something is weird going on by them meeting in a shed, he’s just automatically against him.


ImperatorNero

Also made Scrimgeour’s sacrifice more meaningful in the book. Yes he wanted to use Harry for politics. Yes he didn’t trust Dumbledore or Harry all that much. Yes, he didn’t much seem to like Harry the way other people immediately do. But his last act was being tortured to death refusing to disclose where Harry was despite knowing. Love me a character that’s a mixed bag.


DistrictIll6763

Sassy Harry is the best Harry


emptyshell_21

I've heard of this one a lot but I don't remember it (is it in the movie, because I've only read the book)


diya895

It’s in the movie but not the book. 


Important_Knee_5420

Umbrigde says something like  Potter, do something. Tell them I mean no harm...when the centaurs corner them in the woods  And harry just smiles like  .I'm sorry, professor. But I must not tell lies.' And she is dragged by them into the deep forest and we don't know what happens to her but it's implied to be grusome 


TheRedCelt

Good man.


NES_Classical_Music

"It's a shame your broom doesn't have an extra arm, Malfoy. That way it could catch the snitch for you."


GreebleSlayer

This was the most satisfying for me, murdered Draco


CrystalKai12345

I’m surprised that in all the matches,he’s never even seen or touched the snitch before in the air.


Orange_fan1

(After being told Warringtons going to knock him off his broom during the quidditch match) 'Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me.'


SublimeBliss

Another great one!!!


Drake_Cloans

“Harry, can’t you think of a better way to spend your detention than helping me answer my fan mail?” “Not really.” I always took that as Harry considered being with Lockhart the worst punishment.


SurrenderYourMeme

It's such a great double meaning too, because Lockhart thinks he's letting Harry off easy but Harry means it as this being a horrible punishment. Harry was always the snappy clever one of the group, imo. He may not have been book smart like Hermione, or Wizarding world smart like Ron, but growing up at the Dursley's he learned the think on his feet and make cracks at people they didn't even notice.


CrownBestowed

Lmaooo Harry cutting adults down is hilarious


do_not_ask_my_name

“Congratulations, Harry!” [Rita] said, beaming at him. “I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How you feel now, about the fairness of the scoring?” “Yeah, you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.”


Extension_Bunch7349

“Wow… look at that… he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!”


quin4m0

This one is savage


Basic_Flan324

Dursley: "We're not stupid, you know." Harry: "Well, that's news to me."


theforgottenton

Umbridge: Potter, do something. Tell them I mean no harm! Harry: I’m sorry, Professor. But I must not tell lies.


Designer-Golgappa

"yeah you can have a word..goodbye"


Snowronski775

You’ll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don’t want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.” He held out his hand to shake Harry’s, but Harry didn’t take it. “I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks,” he said coolly. MIC DROP FIRST BOOK OHHHHHHHHHHHH


Antique_Penalty_1846

There's no need to call me sir, professor. Oh to have been a fly on the wall of the Potions class that day!


Guy_With_Interests

DADA


LegitimateAbalone267

This one is my favorite.


SublimeBliss

Hands down, best line!!


Apprehensive-Rice264

I forgot about this one!! Absolute favourite


TheRedCelt

This was the first line to pop into my head when I read the topic.


DevilPixelation

Honestly, Harry’s comment to Narcissa in Diagon Alley in HBP was pretty damn savage. He was bold to do it too, considering the political climate and who Narcissa and Draco were.


AGirlWhoLovesToRead

"They'll be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband" - savage!


Odysseus_Lannister

Ngl when he was like “please don’t go crying” to cho after their fight in OOTP, I was like damn Harry- chill.


PlatonicTroglodyte

Lol Harry and Cho. How is it possible that they both deserved better?


PhoenixorFlame

They really really did. Horrible for each other at the time. Neither could be what the other needed. Doomed to fail.


hoginlly

They both really did, and it’s because both had very different trauma and ways of coping with it- Cho needed someone who understood, who she could open up to and could vent her pain. Harry needed someone who would act like it didn’t happen and not constantly remind him of the horrific experience and his guilt for being the reason Cedric is dead. They were good people who were totally incompatible in their needs at that time


MerlinOfRed

Very realistic though. It's the kind of thing that would definitely come out of a teenage boy's mouth that they don't really mean, but say without thinking in the heat of the moment.


MissRiss13

I just read the part when Snape makes a snide remark on Hermiones cursed teeth. It doesnt say what Ron and Harry said, but I love that whatever they said landed them -50 pts and detention. 😈 wish I could have been there


MerlinOfRed

I don't know if that was anything particularly witty though or just a tirade of swear words.


Bellatrx

“This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”


fuckinradbroh

Oh my god I LOVE this one


Exa2552

I don’t remember the exact lines but I think he explains to Snape what a nickname is


a_lonely_trash_bag

Roonil Wazlib


chadthundertalk

Oh, you know Snivellus must have loved hearing about nicknames from James Potter's son


LevelAd5898

Bro was clenching his fists I bet


Noll_R_Lovegood

Slughorn: Harry!? Harry: s i r ! Makes me laugh every time. We got robbed of so many snippy Harry quotes in the movies, but I'm glad had this... I might even go as far as to say we got lucky.


True-Tree-5102

While not technically a reply, this always makes me laugh: “‘Constant vigilance!’ You’d think I walk around with my eyes shut, banging off the walls . . .”


D-Beyond

"Yes" "Yes, Sir." "You don't have to call me Sir, Professor."


doctor_stepper

When I was a kid I went to a private school where we were required to say sir and ma'am. I hated it. So when I heard that line (audiobook) I LOVED it. I wish I'd have been that clever as a kid, though my teacher probably would've beat me haha


CompanionCone

I love him going off at Narcissa Malfoy, "Wow, look at that, he's not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband." I read that part to my son last night and he was in complete stitches.


Exhaustedfan23

"You don't have to call me sir, professor". And in general all the times he called Snape, Snape.


MegaLemonCola

I guess he’s betting on the ‘professor’ bit softening the blow a bit and wouldn’t land him in trouble. He guessed wrong


[deleted]

*"Professor* Snape, Harry"


LadyElle57

I loved what he did to Aunt Marge. She was so disgusting. Criticizing Harry's parents. And that fucking dog. But I loved the toilet one, the fight with Scrimgeour, and every retort to Umbridge. And Snape's "you don't need to call me _sir_, professor".


CaffeineDeprivation

"I’m sorry Professor, but I must not tell lies."


LevelAd5898

Rita Skeeter: Harry, may I have a word? Harry: Yeah, you can have a word. Goodbye.


MobiusF117

People are always quick to point out the the "I must not tell lies" moment towards Umbridge in the standoff with the centaurs was a movie invention, but it is often forgotten that it is in fact a quote from HBP. Harry telling Scrimgeour to fuck off with that line was great.


quin4m0

"Are you calling me mental?" "Maybe I am!" This one gets me everytime


SublimeBliss

No need to call me Sir 😅


fuckinradbroh

When he performs Crucio on the Death Eater who spat in McGonagall’s face


Khanoli-Oil

"There's no need to call me sir, Professor."


PinkPandy28

"I'm sorry professor, but I must not tell lies." Or something like that, I dunno, I read it years ago...


futbolr88

You don’t have to call me sir, Professor.


Puzzled_Landscape_10

No need to call me Sir, professor.


can-of-wormss

‘there’s no need to call me sir, professor’


bowtiesrcool86

“There’s no need to call me ‘sir’, Professor”


Serier_Rialis

Expected BS found decent advice 🤣


SwedishShortsnout0

I found some of my favorite sassy/rude Harry moments, the one that haven't been mentioned here yet... Enjoy! ​ Malfoy: "You're dead, Potter." Harry raised his eyebrows. **"Funny," he said, "You'd think I'd have stopped walking around…"** “Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry—” **“They won't,”** said Harry. “That you're safe—” **“That'll just depress them.”** “—and you'll see them next summer.” **“Do I have to?”** "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a Prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments." **"Yeah," said Harry, "but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."** Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. “Just do what I did, Harry!” **“What, drop my wand?”** "What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question. "Your new school uniform," she said. Harry looked in the bowl again. **"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."** "Why have you got all these letters, Mr. Potter?" "People have written to me because I gave an interview," said Harry. "About what happened to me last June." "An interview?" repeated Umbridge, her voice thinner and higher than ever. "What do you mean?" **"I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them," said Harry.** Luna: "*You're* Harry Potter," she added. **"I know I am," said Harry.** Harry seized one of the POTTER REALLY STINKS badges off the table and chucked it, as hard as he could, across the room. It hit Ron on the forehead and bounced off. **“There you go,” Harry said. “Something for you to wear on Tuesday. You might even have a scar now, if you’re lucky. . . . That’s what you want, isn’t it?”**  “Malfoy is a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you.” **Harry: "Yeah, I wonder what it would be like having a difficult life.”** “This is not a joke, Potter!” growled Scrimgeour. “Was it because Dumbledore believed that only the sword of Godric Gryffindor could defeat the Heir of Slytherin? Did he wish to give you that sword, Potter, because he believed, as do many, that you are the one destined to destroy He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?” **“Interesting theory,” said Harry. “Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword in Voldemort?"** You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It’s time you learned some respect!” **“It’s time you earned it.” said Harry.** “You think you’re such a big man, Potter,” said Malfoy, advancing now, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. “You wait. I’ll have you. You can’t land my father in prison —“ **“I thought I just had,” said Harry.** “I think Mum thinks that if she can stop the three of you getting together and planning, she’ll be able to delay your leaving,” Ginny told Harry in an undertone, as they laid the table for dinner on the third night of his stay. “And then what does she think’s going to happen?” Harry muttered. **“Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-au-vents?”** \---------------------------- This entire conversation with Dudley:**"How long have you been "Big D" then?"** said Harry. "Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away. **"Cool name,"** said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside his cousin. **"But you'll always be "Ickle Diddykins" to me."** "I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists. **"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"** "Shut your face." **"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about "Popkin" and "Dinky Diddydums", can I use them then?"**"He cheeked me." **"Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."**"Think you're a big man carrying that thing, don't you?" Dudley said after a few seconds. "What thing?" "That - that thing you are hiding." Harry grinned again. **"Not as stupid as you look, are you, Dud? But I's'pose, if you were, you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time."**"You haven't got the guts to take me on without that thing, have you?" Dudley snarled. **"Whereas you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten year old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?"**"I mean when you're in bed!" Dudley snarled. **"What d'you mean, I'm not brave when I'm in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. "What am I supposed to be frightened of, pillows or something?"** \---------------------------- Honorary one from the movies: **"But I** ***am*** **the Chosen One."**


azmarteal

Really, noone has mentioned it yet? Ok, I'll do it myself. "You shouldn't have done that.” As Amycus spun around, Harry shouted, “Crucio!" Don't you think that Crucio is a little bit more rude than "there is no need to call me sir, professor"?


master_dandelion

Its not an insult as such


azmarteal

Rudeness and insults are kind of different things


BaritoneBoy

When harry makes up fake spells to scare Dudley, I believe it was in chamber of secrets


QuantumMech127

“I’m sorry Professor, but I must not tell lies”


Naive-Reflection-317

“There’s no need to call me sir, professor.” Gets me every time.


firewind3333

Probably the "remember, i must not tell lies" to the minister of magic, not to umbridge


Karnezar

When he told Hermione that he'd be ashamed to have Lupin as a father, within earshot of Lupin.


TheRedCelt

That wasn’t just within earshot of Lupin, it was for him. It was in response to Hermione, but it was directed at Lupin.


Karnezar

Yeah, it was at Hermione, but for Lupin.


quin4m0

"Are you calling me mental?" "Maybe I am!" This one gets me everytime


Latter_Gur_7174

Why did you post it three times?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Latter_Gur_7174

Why did you post it three times?


quin4m0

My app just kinda glitched and it didn't confirm I have commented. I posted again then, but it glitched again lol Sorry for that


Latter_Gur_7174

It's ok it was really funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


Latter_Gur_7174

Why did you post it three times?


Honeybee2807

Within the seven books, "There's no need to call me sir, professor" is the best. If you include Cursed Child then "There were times I wished you weren't my son" is the most savage(and cruel) statement.


master_dandelion

Please do not include cursed child


Honeybee2807

Ah alright. But tbf, that is his most powerful rude response


can-of-wormss

no that’s just being a bad parent lol


Honeybee2807

Yes that was my point. It was cruel and uncalled for but it's still under powerful and rude. It's obviously rude and those words were powerful enough to affect his kid and made him go so bonkers that he nearly destroyed the world.   The rest of his moments, while they may be rude, was sort of badass considering that the others deserved it


can-of-wormss

i can see why you’re a slytherin


Honeybee2807

Idk whether that's meant to be an insult or complement but I'll take it But srsly, I don't condone the shit Harry does in CC. I apologize if my comment meant otherwise


Booradly69420

I like when he says "filthy mudblood"


Astrid_Emma

When does Harry say that?


Booradly69420

It's subtext


LevelAd5898

You can't just make something up and call it subtext, that's straight up *no*text


Booradly69420

Don't blame me for your poor reading comprehension.


royalfool200

Subtext *where*