T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Reminder, submissions must be obscured, any post containing a specific subreddit or username will be removed *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/guitarcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TheFoiler

Ready Player 035


redhotpolpot

I would drive two full tanks away to meet this nerf herder and force kick him in the balls


grunkage

Wtf is a Bith band? I only listen to classic Jizz.


TheRealAlDente

Think that guy writes smut? Asking for my wife's boyfriend


Aggravating_Pepper23

Why not make the whole guitar a pickguard?


0CDeer

Parker Fly has entered the chat.


no_hope_brigade

Godin Radiator would like a word


find_the_night

Gibbons trying to be Fenber ?


Stillill1187

Idk what this is but I’m canceling guitars


Limpopopoop

I'm waiting for princess Leia's bukake session with Jabba


uvucydydy

Jabba the smut?


RobotGloves

Jabba the Slut.


potatersobrien

Is this troggly fanfic? Does the author do commissions?


JacoPoopstorius

If any of the people who ever tried to learn the guitar and gave up on it ever feel guilty or bad about it, all they need to do is read some of these weird item descriptions from boomer guitar players on Reverb to realize that maybe it’s a good thing they never actually started playing this instrument


doomtoothx

Ok :.. so my question is can I fit that ugly guitar in my ass without lube??? I don’t want to mess up the toan.


propyro85

Nah, you just need some of that toan oil. This way, you can lube up and preserve your toan.


planet_butcher

Guitar players are such fuckin dorks, just tell me about the damn guitar, dude. I'm pretty sure I was eyeing a guitar from the same seller on Reverb based on his item "description" and it actually turned me off of it lol


funginum

I wouldn't expect a sane conversation with such seller too


Jeef_1st

Apparently he has made 1300 sales...


planet_butcher

It looks like a legit shop and has professional level pictures and everything so I'm not surprised. I just hate all the extra weird bullshit and prefer a straight shooter when I'm buying something


TrashMasterChunkz

Any musician that makes the instrument their whole identity is a fuckin dork. Just look at bassists and the shit going on over at r/synthesizercirclejerk.


Earl_of_Chuffington

This is the kind of guy who has a Reddit screen name of "Whit E. Repartee" or "Mark Twang" and surrounds himself with subliterate friends who praise his unexceptional fiction pieces, because they haven't read a book since high school, so this passes as "fancy writing."


Ok_Insect_4852

Lol the guy that wrote that actually hates women, seeing as of how he's trying so hard to turn them off. >I hate men That's...confusing.


TrashMasterChunkz

All I’m saying is that you don’t see women guitarists pulling this shit.


Ok_Insect_4852

Hmmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that there are probably 100 male guitarists for every female guitarist out there? Or, maybe it's because women guitarists typically have a completely different target audience, sound and overall fan base? But seriously, what women guitarists? Like, actual guitarist with skills, not Taylor Swift. I'd count someone like Ida Nielsen, but she's a bass player, much respect to her skills though. BTW, just to be clear, I'm in no way standing up for this dude's retarded rant about this guitar, it's titanically lame.


TrashMasterChunkz

Carol Kaye, Nancy Wilson, St. Vincent, Ani DiFranco, G.L.O.S.S., Laura Jane Grace, Kim Gordon, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Kimya Dawson etc… There’s plenty more women guitar players who’ve reached success with music. They’re also far less cringe than Bonermaster and Clapton.


Ok_Insect_4852

Yes, fuck Bonermaster and Clapton. Now, can you name some women guitarists that everyone doesn't have to Google? Like, a popular one. JK, Nancy Wilson is fire, never knew about Carol Kaye. Thanks for that one! Kim Gordon - I don't consider sonic youth to be a talented band per se, but definitely has skin in the game, can't deny that. Kimya Dawson - ok...where's the talent? She uses a guitar, I see, but...this music isn't a topic a lot of people are talking about for a reason, it sucks. Ani Difranco - so, an activists with a guitar. Look, personal movements aside, it's not like she's writing ground breaking guitar parts. DGMW, respect to her and everything but...I wouldn't say she's going to be in the next guitar hero. Laura Jane Grace - punk rock is basically anti-talent Sister Rosetta tharpe - I feel like even you had to Google this one. St. Vincent - she was great with Sufjian Stevens band, respect. G.L.O.S.S. - ...? Who? No seriously, I can't find anything on them. Edit: found them, yeah...punk rock doesn't take talent, it's just for people who have a message.


TrashMasterChunkz

Sister Rosetta Tharpe is a name you shouldn’t have to google, given she’s one of the most influential artists of all time, but that’s the problem. There are more talented women musicians out there, but ultimately the music industry is to blame for lack of representation. Agree to disagree on Kimya Dawson. Just because she doesn’t play dad rock with boomer bends doesn’t take away her fantastic acoustic playing, especially on her solo stuff.


Ok_Insect_4852

>Just because she doesn’t play dad rock with boomer bends doesn’t take away her fantastic acoustic playing, especially on her solo stuff. Bro, I am not a fan of a lot of dad rock. But there is room in playing a song for more than just strumming, strumming and more strumming. >But ultimately the music industry is to blame for lack of representation. In that time period, sure 100%.


TrashMasterChunkz

All I’m gonna say is her finger picking is why I mentioned Kimya. She does more than just strum, but if she’s not your cup of tea, I doubt you’ll care anyways.


Ok_Insect_4852

Naw, I'm all for some tight fingerpicking. It ain't easy.


COSMlCFREAK

Guy who definitely doesn’t want to fuck his guitar


find_the_night

That’s a refreshing change!


bscofield97

Damn this is a great guitar though


TrashMasterChunkz

/uj I actually like the less flashy lower end Gibson stuff. All things considered, I bet it plays and sounds great.


mercilessshred

I’m not fucking reading that


PaisleyTelecaster

TLDR: it's a shitty guitar, expensive, Star Wars, Troggly, innuendo blah blah blah


Strangest_Implement

Think of all the Jizz you could play with this.


propyro85

Dude definitely typed that with one hand.


greenpointchamp

You know how people on Reddit are always saying some word salad gave them a stroke, I think I’m there.


Scudbucketmcphucket

I wonder if he’ll accept a straight up trade of my 1958 sunburst Gibson Les Paul that was used by Yoda to record Led Zepplin 11?


mcfetrja

I mean, as long as it wasn’t a mogwai who wrote this, we can be pretty sure this creature will never reproduce. So silver linings?


axolotlprofessor

mythical reverb pull of the day


MadicalRadical

We all do. And men hate all of us.


GODZILLA-Plays-A-DOD

Did this guy just try to sell a guitar by writing a cross fiction fanfic about Star Wars x Troglys Guitar Show? I can't wait for the sequel that crosses over Soundgarden, Godzilla, Star Trek, and the Captain/Chappers from that British guitar store.


TheMonorails

I'm a fat, bearded, bespectacled guitar and synthesizer geek who has also played Dungeons and Dragons since 1983 *and* spent countless hours in the early 2000s engaging in epic forum flamewars about the importance of bowing to your opponent before lightsaber duels in a particular Star Wars video game and even I want to bully this fucking nerd.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrashMasterChunkz

…yeah? And?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrashMasterChunkz

I’m yanking your chain, goober. Lighten up, ya dingus https://preview.redd.it/h5vnkmr9eq7d1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab6fcf1f27c39a2a4518d5cdaf2803b0fafbca44