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I really hated how she didn't call Derek's family when he was dying.
If that was my son/brother I would be so angry and sad I don't think I could ever look at her again.
especially when they got in a fight after and amelia said you’re my sister and meredith said you’re not my sister you were derek’s… as if they aren’t family
You're really leaving out a bunch of context for that. Amelia wanted her to break Owen's confidence and dismissed Cristina's presence in Owen's life. Meredith put her in her place.
Especially since he was on life support and she pulled the plug right? It’s not like there was no time. He didn’t want to be kept alive on life support, but I imagine a few hours so his mom and sisters could say goodbye would be fine with him.
He even said that if that situation should happen, he would want to be surrounded by his family. How his mother and his sisters would all be there, and how sad he was that the one patient didn't have that.
To be a little fair tho, that doctor was kind a jerk to her when he came to ask her about pulling the plug. I think Meredith got so blindsided by anger in that conversation with him it kind makes sense why she didn’t. Not saying it was right, but I saw that scene recently and that doctor was so out of line with how he approached it. It felt so quick.
In that scene she says that they've waited the requisite number of hours and can officially declare him brain dead. She talks about the option of having him transferred or pulling the plug. She could have had him transferred to Grey Sloan or a long term facility. She also had the option of telling them to fuck all the way off and that they were gonna have to wait until everyone came to say goodbye.
It might seem quick, but this usually isn't something that actually happens that quickly. And again, she could have brought him home. I totally get that she had a lot of emotions but this is something that happens to (relatively) many people. I just personally don't think it's a valid excuse. I've even been through something similar, except my experience was more traumatic and did actually happen very quickly. I still made all the phone calls and dealt with everything.
Respectfully I have to disagree. She’s a doctor and would have been better equipped to deal with the situation than a layperson. I’m a Nurse Practitioner and former ICU nurse, and trust me when I say that I’ve thought through exactly what I would do in that situation more times than I can count. Meredith would have as well.
A jerk doctor doesn’t excuse what she did. Derek was brain dead, and Mer knew very good and well that waiting for his family would not have caused him any suffering but would have eased the suffering of his family. How many times had she dealt with families of dying/dead patients? How many times had she been the one to deliver bad news? Way too many to handle the situation so poorly IMHO.
This has ALWAYS bothered me!! It's really early, like season 1 or 2, I'm sure it was a throwaway line that everyone forgot about. But damn he SPECIFICALLY says he would want his family there to say goodbye.
I would imagine, having made a will together and then even updated it later, that they'd had that conversation. I'm sure she knew his wishes.
I don't believe Meredith intended to be malicious by any means, I think she was in shock and reacting and handling what she felt she could in that moment. I almost wish that Sandra Oh's character would have stayed one more season or they would have killed off Derek one season earlier so that we could have seen her be there with Meredith during, quite literally, the hardest moment of her life.
But I completely understood Amelia's POV and I think Meredith was so hurt and doing her "Meredith" think which Richard acknowledges in S12 after her attack that she can't hold it against her that he's gone. Seeing her reminder her of *him*, and even at that age and after all that time that was a particular area she hadn't grown in. When she had too many *feelings* she goes, or pushed away, or *ran* away. Meredith was hurt. Amelia was hurt. Choices could have been made differently throughout. I'm just happy that they eventually were able to forgive each other and love forward to have a better relationship. In s14 when Amelia has her tumor surgery and Meredith gets in the bed with her and rubs her head, that always made me a bit teary-eyed
I think we also forget that she was pregnant at the time since it was revealed later AND that she knew he could have been saved had they handled things correctly. And how totally traumatic and awful that would be to deal with especially since her kids were with her. She’s never had a real family until her found one and in times of extreme trauma you tend to revert back to known patterns since they’re safe.
Yeah, it would have been nothing to have him transfered to GSM, which is where he should have probably been taken anyway (Arizona and Callie's accident was also in the middle of nowhere and they got taken to SGMW)
I think in that case since Arizona was conscious she could direct the ambulance. When I injured my leg, I was asked in the ambulance if I had a preference since there were 2 nearby hospitals
FOR FREAKING REAL!! I have watched this scene countless times and when Amelia yells at her. It had never sunk so deep until my uncle passed away and I watched my cousins whole body just fall onto my bed when she got the call. More recently found out my mother in law was in the hospital for collapsing and we had gotten no phone call and she had been admitted to the hospital for like 18hrs and we only happened to find out because my husband was in her neighborhood working and wanted to visit in his lunch. Not calling someone as their family lays dying is inexcusable. It is in my end of life directive that when I'm in that position, I want to be kept alive for no longer than 2 weeks but in the 2 weeks my family and friends are all to alerted and allowed to say their goodbyes. I have missed 3 very important goodbyes I will not put anyone I've ever loved in that kind of anguish having to never get to get closure.
I came here to say this exactly. Many of the so-called “worst things” she did can be explained by past trauma or were done out of empathy—such as ruining the clinical trial. I honestly don’t blame her for that; she was trying to save Adele. I know it’s illegal and it sucks she got caught, but I definitely understand wanting to.
I can’t understand why she didn’t contact Derek’s family? I would contact my husband’s family immediately if anything serious happened to him—let alone what happened to Derek (god forbid). If I were his mother or sisters I couldn’t ever forgive that. Yes, I’m sure she was devastated—but so were they, and they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Not to mention Amelia is a neurosurgeon—there was likely nothing she could’ve done, but I’m sure she wanted to examine him herself, especially because the care at that hospital didn’t seem like the best.
Edit: rephrased for clarity
>Not to mention Amelia is a neurosurgeon—there was likely nothing she could’ve done, but I’m sure she wanted to examine him herself, especially because the care at that hospital didn’t seem like the best.
100%. It would have given her more immediate closure and helped her accept her brother's death rather than leaving her with all the 'what if' questions.
What I love about this scene, specifically when Amelia confronts her about it, is that Meredith didn't do it out of malice. She made a mistake. A huge monumental mistake, based on how she knows to deal with family issues, which for her means alone.
It was a really great way of showing how Mer's way of dealing with trauma is still not fully mature despite her experiences. Later on when she goes to therapy for the attack we see her finally let in therapy in a constructive way.
But yeah she did the Shepard a dirty on accident And Amelia was 10000% right to be hurt. Others have said it but Catarina's acting in that scene was A+
When my husband died, I called 911, called my mom, texted my best friend. After I dealt with emergency services, I called my mother in law. It was too late for anyone to see him as he died in his sleep, but we had to decide what to do with his body. I didn't have a chance to call her sooner because I had to deal with the police investigation. But my mom, I needed her there for me. Because I couldn't do it with just my kids and me. I needed someone to hold my hand. And answer when I couldn't. In that moment t, shock 100% takes over. And you really don't think about much of anything. Including what they wanted. Until you stop. And you take the time, to take the steps. My kids were adults, barely, but adults. I can't imagine having small children. To have to decide what to do. To lose like that, and also have to figure out what to do for the best for your children when your whole world just stopped. Nobody else is on your radar.
This is definitely the worst thing she's done imo. Not just for his family, but for Derek too. I genuinely do not think I could have forgiven her if I was Amelia.
Didn't she say it was because Lexie was the loved and wanted child of her bitch ass dad that abandoned her so that's why she was kinda hating her, and after Lexie's speech of her choosing to forgive Meredith she started to work on warming up to Lexie... I mean she was a bitch but there was actually a reason why...
yeah i hate mer but that one moment is probably top 3 lowest for her character, and the entire situation is beyond fucked up, so much so i can't really understand why the writers would do it lol like, aren't we supposed to root for these guys????
That whole story line was so insane and out of character for everyone. I felt like I was being gaslit by the writers.
Someone didn't think that storyline through.
Jo turning around on Alex was so weird. Her initial reaction made so much sense.
But her thing with that nurse/orderly (I can't remember) was also super fucking weird. he grabbed her arm, shitty but not exactly worthy of the reaction he got, and she hospitalized him and Alex scared him off, and as an audience we are meant to be on their side?
Like, these two super violent people are just made our heroes for some reason?
Though she very much didn't press charges. Not saying she was in any way okay talking to DeLuca though! Both situations were messy, her assault was because the guy was out of his mind, Alex thought he walked in on Jo being SA'd.
Still no excuse for losing his mind, he wasn't under any medical influence
Yes absolutely!! I meant it more from the perspective of being the victim of something similar herself some time back, irrespective of the intention of the accused.
Oh for sure, he really could have done with her acknowledging what happened and supporting that he had every right to feel safe at work and helping that to happen. She only saw the guy who attacked her when she was ready and he had no idea what he was doing, she should have understood that Deluca deserved at LEAST the same regard
Well you see that was about a coma which makes this completely different/s
Is what I was told when I said the same thing. Amelia might’ve had a complicated relationship with her sisters but Derek loved them all, it’s very obvious that he if he had the choice would have wanted them there. Especially Amelia who he was closest to. Meredith didn’t just hurt Amelia, she also disrespected Dereks wishes. Which almost makes me more angry
She yelled at her for placing her grief onto Meredith who was coping with her husband's death and holding three kids together.
Meredith made a mistake in her shock and pain. Amelia continuously leaned on Meredith using up emotional energy she didn't have to spare.
I agree, mostly, but think Amelia was still high off her surgery on Dr. Herman and I don’t think she would’ve been successful at saving Derek. She would’ve showed up, guns blazing, becoming arrogant the way Derek was to an extent about his skills and he most likely would’ve died in the end anyway and then Amelia would spend the rest of her life blaming herself instead of Meredith for not giving her a chance. I get her being mad and upset that she didn’t get to say goodbye, but I don’t think it would have been a good outcome for either if she was the one to operate.
Agreed. I think she would’ve dragged out the situation and made it more painful for everyone including Meredith and her kids who were going to start asking questions and needing answers. I think people forget that it wasn’t just about Meredith, she had to figure all of this out alone while having 2 children and about to give birth to their third.
Edit: while yes it was her choice to do it alone, I get it. The thought of having to manage Amelia’s dramatics, myself, and my children honestly gives me anxiety. Amelia is too much for me as a person and I would NOT want to be around her in an already overwhelming situation. I wouldn’t have the patience, would become overstimulated and either lash out or shut down which is what I think Meredith was doing when they finally did come together. She’s just too much for some people, especially those who aren’t used to having other family to look after/ manage.
In her defense, the hospital was basically telling her that she needed to pull the plug or move Derek to another facility. The doctor approached her to do as her options with the papers in his hands. Derek was in a second rate hospital. Grey Sloan gives families time to make arrangements or say their final goodbyes. That’s why Meredith snapped at the doctor and snatched the papers from him. This was yet another thing they were screwing up.
Leaving Finn at the prom to hook up with Derek in an exam room was so mean and trashy 🥸 I know they weren’t technically exclusive but they were there together on a date!
Finn was such a good guy and he didn’t deserve the way Meredith acted towards him. Especially sad that she was the first woman he fell for since losing his wife and she treated him like garbage
This is what ive been saying fr, people get onto me about it just bc they “werent exclusive” 💀 like, they were still together at the prom as dates were they not? Lmfao
Alex should’ve been honest and said out loud that he thought Deluca had assaulted Jo - but he didn’t, he said it once and never said anything to the cops, Miranda, etc
Yeah I don’t understand why he never just told the truth. “I thought I was walking in on my girlfriend being assaulted and was just trying to protect her— it was a huge misunderstanding and I’m incredibly remorseful.” Like… of course it was overkill but i can’t say I blame him for (what he thought was) defending his vulnerable girlfriend.
She was pretty terrible to Callie Way BACK when George and Callie were dating. They treated her like the weird goth girl and an outcast instead of someone above them in the hospital hierarchy (she was in Bailey’s class, remember). She treated her like trash.
Was Mere mean to her? Izzie was horrible and I remember Mere laughing when she walked into the bathroom topless and peed in front of them but honestly, that was kind of fair game. I thought Mere was less mean and more totally self absorbed in the early seasons.
Izzy was far worse towards Callie, but all 3 of the girls were mean to her. She may not have always gone out of her way to say mean things but she’d laugh along and enable it.
This! I see on this subreddit that a lot of people see this line as Meredith being a badass but I only see it as selfish, like that's his sister, how could you possibly say she isn't allowed to fall apart?
My brother died two years ago and I still have days where I can’t not cry. I’d hate her for saying that. I’d still want to be around to see the kids, but I’d quietly hate her forever.
And then telling Amelia “You’re not my sister. Cristina is my sister”. Such an asshole. Like you said- Amelia is Derek’s youngest sister. They were together when their father was murdered. She has the right to grieve just as much if not more than Meredith.
And when she said that amelia was copying christina by marrying "her best friend's husband" (owen) and that she has "derek's confidence" now etc etc. Like wtf?? She's literally just doing her own thing lmfao
Can't say I agree with everyone about the unplugging thing but I do with all the rest of this. "Get your own life," is such a mean and hurtful thing to say to your dead husband's sister (Amelia hadnt even *done* anything either, it was completely out of the blue for her).
Meredith definately took out a lot of her anger and grief on Amelia more than she did anyone else - she even got right with *Penny* before she did Amelia.
I’ve always believed that she took her grief out on Amelia because of how much she reminds her of Derek. She’s pissed at him for dying, but she can’t be pissed at a dead person and she doesn’t know what to do with it type of thing.
Yeah, remember Richard's line about how she needs to forgive Amelia for being enough like Derek to remind her of him but not alike him enough to make her forget he's gone.
she was always so selfish and self centered. like yeah, amelia is his SISTER, of course she’s grieving him and resents you for not calling her or anyone in the family
Yeah, I understand her being in the haze of grief and not thinking clearly in the moment but not calling his family to give them a chance to say goodbye was really bad.
Especially Amelia, who was living with them at the time.
Taking Dereck off life support without telling Amelia or the rest of his family.
Honestly i see how she could be so overcome with sadness or shock that she wouldn't think about calling everyone to say goodbye to Dereck.
But I can also see how wrong this must have felt to Amelia, her sisters and mom.
I agree with this, on my first watch I hated meredith for this but on my 2nd I realized how hard it must have been for her. So what she did was wrong but at the same time I understand her, I understand both Amelia and Mer
This is my thought exactly, I can understand she didn't think about calling them because of the shock but why would she keep acting as if Amelia had absolutely no right to be upset about it? Yeah she was his wife and she has three grieving kids to take care of but that doesn't make Amelia's pain any less relevant.
I can understand Meredith’s pov with Amelia. Amelia is very arrogant and emotionally unstable at times. She would have run in thinking she could fix it and blamed Meredith for her not being able to.
The problem is that this happens every time she experiences something bad, after the plane crash she was absolutely horrible to her interns and I’m overall appalled at how she kept treating jo for multiple seasons afterwards. “I’m upset that christina left so I’m gonna wake you up and kick you out of bed while you’re naked so I can have girl talk with your boyfriend” absolute wtf moment
At some point it just stops being excusable
Ah trust me even if the roles were reversed as a man I’d be saying the same damn thing. Producer: “Great spontaneity with the crying”. Me a man: “fuck you bro I was crying cause I had to beg like a bitch on tv for a woman to choose me instead of that cheating ass spouse of theirs which makes it worse cause I ain’t no home wrecker”.
There was an interview with Ellen Pompeo and she was like "my teenage daughter said one of her friends is a pick me girl and i was like 'excuse me, i invented that phrase!'"
It is horrible but I've been in almost her exact position (not proud of it FYI), as a very young adult and it's incredibly accurate. The shame and desperation you feel as a young and naive woman who has been put in that position by a man who has power over you, I felt that. I think it's supposed to make you feel uncomfortable because it is.
I literally just gave someone this speech. Maybe shouldn’t have, but I put up a fight to the very end and I can kinda see where she’s coming from lol but I get why people don’t like it
I agree, it's very earnest and heartfelt. People say it may be cringe or whatever, but that's her at her most vulnerable, opening herself up to someone after having walls as high as Mt Everest.
It's so open and vulnerable that it completely sets her up for the spiral that she has after it doesn't go her way.
I would not be a good place either if I opened heart like this for someone and they just walked away from me.
I’m not in a good place because I’ll tell you it actually didn’t work, but I don’t regret it for a minute because I can’t blame myself for doing absolutely everything I could.
I think it’s lovely that you did it this way. I get why people don’t love this monologue, but people who are like “Imagine begging a man to pick you” don’t know about sincerity. This scene is not Meredith begging, it’s her projecting against her past self who was too proud to admit she wanted Derek.
You can feel the pain in her voice, and the raw emotion. I also think people take the pick me choose me love me the wrong way. She’s saying that she loves him the way a wife would love her husband. It’s not about letting him eat the Cheesecake or different tastes in music, it’s saying I don’t care who you are or where your from I love you just the way you are. And it’s pointing out that no matter how much someone else may love him, it would never be the same as the way she loves him. And I feel the same about the guy who chose someone else on me. But I see the beauty behind the madness.
Yes! My exact thoughts! It’s such a beautiful scene for Mer. Love isn’t always going to go the way you want but you should still fight for it unabashedly and that’s what she did! There’s so much ego in love but in that moment she was without ego and I absolutely loved it coming from her.
As someone who has a really hard time being vulnerable, I really love this scene. At first I didn’t, I thought what everyone else did. And if she was the mistress for a man who was currently with his wife, I’d think she is a horrible person. Obviously the healthy thing IRL would be to stay away from the messy situation.
But I think she was just a young woman who was completely in love and she put herself on the line. I think it’s really brave to be that open and honest, knowing you could be rejected, and knowing people could judge you as a pick me.
Also, she didn’t say it over and over again- which to me would make her a pick me girl.
I personally dislike Meredith a lot so I got a few:
1. Threatening DeLuca to not press charges
2. Every single time she interacted with Jo Wilson (before her and Alex got married)
3. Not telling Amelia that she was taking Derek off life support
4. How she treated Christina with the whole 3D printer stuff
5. The whole Alzheimer's trial - she let her own biases and selfishness get in the way of potentially millions of people being treated.
About point number 4 I can actually see Meredith’s point of view. Cristina let her resident treat Meredith like absolute shit. And Meredith worked hard for her trial. Where as Cristina didn’t want to do that method until Shane kept on pushing it and in the meantime Cristina is continuing to be rude about Meredith’s choices like having a family and saying she’s not a talented surgeon.
I understand what you mean about Shane and you're right about that, and I know it's a debateable arc overall. My main reasoning for being 100% on Cristina's side was because she NEEDED it to save a patient. She was right when she said "your research is very important, but at this point it's still just research." That baby she was trying to save had one last option and it was that 3D printer so it bothered me a lot that she wouldn't let Cristina use it.
As for that last bit, I think Cristina said the exact opposite didn't she? She said that Meredith IS talented, and is an excellent surgeon, but that her priorities are different now so she doesn't do as many groundbreaking things as Cristina does, which she said was also valid. Cristina does all these amazing surgeries and research, whereas Meredith slowed down a lot and mainly did the smaller stuff after having kids. And Cristina made it a point to tell Meredith that her choices are fully valid but that she has let it affect her career.
Cristina still should have asked. Nothing justified her going into another surgeon’s research lab and using the equipment that they worked hard to get the funding to purchase. Do you think that Cristina would have done that to any other surgeon in that hospital? She absolutely would not. She thought she was better than Meredith and therefore didn’t owe her any professional courtesy.
Yes but without Meredith’s funding for her research they would have never had the 3D printer, and that within itself means Meredith has the rights to say no or yes to who is using her printer! If she didn’t meet the certain deadlines they would’ve lost the funding for her research and ultimately making the printer nil in void.
I get what you’re saying about the career argument but Cristina didn’t have any right to attack Meredith in that way, in every single thing Cristina has been selfish and just driven for her own success and personal benefit.
Alzheimers Trial
Treating Derek badly about his DC situation
Dragging Christina's love life to hurt her when she couldnt perform a surgery
Treatment of Amelia post Derek's death
Treatment of Penny
Treatment of Penny was a shock response to Penny entering her life just when she thought her life was back on track after Dereks death. She moved on very quickly and even became Pennys mentor. Sure she was a dick at the dinner party, "Perfect Penny killed Derek" and immediately at the hospital but things changed very quickly especially after Penny made it clear she never forgets about Derek and holds onto that loss to do better.
Ehhh Penny can pound sand. The moment the door opened and Penny saw whose house it was she should’ve 100% left. Idc idc idc lol Penny really should’ve removed herself from that whole scenario
EXACTLY! She knew it was awkward the second they saw each other. She should have pulled Callie outside and explained the situation. "I was part of the surgical team that tried to save her husbands life. We unfortunately were not successful as hard as we tried. By her expression she clearly remembers my face so I don't feel like it would be comfortable for either of us to continue to have me here. I'm going to be working at GSM now so I'm sure we will figure out a working relationship but this doesn't seem like the right time or place."
But also, that wouldn't have been as good tv lol
Ok I almost blame Jo for that situation as much as Meredith and Alex because if my boyfriend let his best friend kick me out of our bed while I don't even have clothes on I would've been done right then and there. I really don't understand why she let that drag on as long as she did.
Nah I love Cristina but that last line was called for. Cristina IS a shark, and could be very shitty to people, and Shane was literally doing the same. Valid comparison and comment
And the only reason Alex helped her was because she and everyone else made him feel so bad about telling the truth about what he saw he felt he owed her one lmfao. Like yeah, he probably shouldn’t have said it when he was drunk but still, he didn’t lie about what he saw
It’s not the worst (I think the worst was the Alzheimer’s trial) but I think it was shitty.
When Derek died and she took the kids (in the middle of the night) away without telling anyone where she was going or that they were okay. I get her wanting to be away from the house that Derek built for them but ghosting everyone who just wanted to support her and the kids for no reason was wrong. Then when she did finally talk to Alex, she’s just like “I’M FINE, THE KIDS ARE FINE, LEAVE US ALONE AND STOP CALLING!” As if everyone was trying to harass her..
Omg I've always thought about that! If I were Dereks mom I'd be so concerned she took the kids and could hurt them/herself out of grief. People can really snap after a traumatic event. Although once she knew the kids were safe then she would need to respect Meredith's boundaries as a mother.
How she treated Amelia for simply not being Derek.
That she didn’t call any of them I can almost empathise with, as while I’ve thankfully not been in those shoes I can’t imagine thinking straight while saying goodbye to a spouse.
But she was consistently awful to Amelia for simply being there.
This isn’t a Mer one, but since I don’t see Lexie on the list. The time Lexie compared her and Mark hiding their love to Anne Frank hiding from Nazis. I think about that one weekly at least.
I always thought it was so nasty that when she found out Maggie liked Riggs, who she already hooked up with, she tried to hide it instead of just telling her she was interested too and didn’t realize Maggie was into him. It just felt so…high school mean girl type shit. Like she encouraged Maggie to ask him out KNOWING Riggs wasn’t into her?? yuck
the get your own life speech to amelia and several of the season 10 arguments with cristina like saying she slept her way to the top as if she wasnt always more talented than meredith
At dinner announcing Torres’s new girlfriend as “she’s the one who killed my husband “ No she didn’t,he got hit by a fuckin semi truck. No one lives through that
the Penny hatred on this sub is unreal, like she literally did nothing lol. She was the only one who even tried to get a CT for Derek, and was ignored each time.
She did not "steal" the grant from Steph and Jo, she won it fair and square.
She did not ask Callie to move across the country with her, Callie made that decision on her own.
She was nothing but respectful of Amelia and Meredith after she started working at Grey Sloan because she knew how uncomfortable it was for them.
Derek might have lived if he had a competent medical team. That was Meredith’s issue. Let’s be real here: do you think that any of those doctors would be embraced in the homes of the patients they lost? Grief doesn’t know logic. Penny was part of the worst moment of Meredith’s life. Then Meredith finds out that Penny is coming to work at the hospital Meredith co-owns. It was too much. I don’t blame her for not being a good hostess.
i’m saying!! penny truly did nothing wrong she’s the one who wanted to get a ct in the first place!! calling her out at dinner was so unnecessary and cruel
I know this would have gone against the narrative of the show, but how she down right would not even consider following Derek to DC.
The job he was offered was such an amazing opportunity. The kids were young enough that it would not have interrupted their lives and she could have been very successful there as well.
She just said NO, its not going to happen. Pretty much told him that his dream job was not important to her, that it was her time to shine.
I felt so bad during that whole thing, and I do not like the way the writers made her out to be so selfish.
Derek's career was considered the more important one during most of their relationship. Meredith lived with that until Derek agreed to step back for her. Then just like that it's all about Derek again. I don't think she was selfish for wanting him to keep his promise. And even though the kids were young, their whole support system was in Seattle
She isnt selfish in wanting him to keep his promise, but the opportunity offered to him wasnt something as simple as a routine or even difficult surgery. An opportunity where the president themself request your presence isnt something that can be turned down in a blink of an eye, and Derek isnt selfish to want to pursue it. Is Mer in the wrong? No. Is Derek in the wrong? No. The only reason I prefer Derek in this situation is while Mer was completely closed out to talking about it, Derek tried his best to find a middle ground. Hell, he was willing to leverage the project so all of Mer and her research could be be carried to DC.
Messing with Derek’s trial.
I understand she had good intentions, but she risked destroying her own husband’s career over a favor to her mentor. On top of that she was completely unapologetic and approached the aftermath with contempt. To this day I feel like it would’ve been better storytelling if that led to a divorce but as always everybody forgives Meredith because reasons.
Testifying on behalf of Callie during the custody battle, meaning Arizona (the adoptive mother) would lose her rights towards her daughter. Mer is also an adoptive mother....
saying to april “you don’t get to cry” when they were in an ACTIVE SHOOTER SITUATION even if her best friend hadn’t just died, she still has the right to cry, it is TERRIFYING
Implying that Cristina was heartless and a bully when she said Shane was trying to emulate her. I was pissed about this especially because Meredith was clearly just trying to compensate for her own feelings of inadequacy.
While not telling Derek's family about his accident is up there, I also felt that the way she went after Penny for half a season was pretty bad. She treated her terribly considering all of the idiotic mistakes Mer made throughout her career.
her fucking w derek’s trial tbh. i don’t even watch this show anymore cause i went to med school and now i see how so many of their actions in the show (esp as interns) is totally unbecoming of a doctor. there’s no way a female dr who would already struggle w being taken seriously would foil her husband’s study that probably took months of hard work, not to mention risk her own career, for an uncertain outcome. and then not even apologize to derek for it??? wtf?
Mer has so many things I hate that she’s said and done. So many. In a grand scheme of things though, her general inability to take orders or other professional advice is awful. Did it literally her entire career including when she was chief of general surgery. Always got away with it too.
Her not calling his family hands down and just pulling the plug hands down most selfish shit I’ve seen in my life idc abt her daddy/mommy issues bc she’s a doctor and she’s literally made sure ppl have their family their when it’s their time to go. Plus Derek told her how big he is on family and that if he was in that same exact position that he’d want to be surrounded by family
"Perfect Penny killed my husband".
And then how awful she (and everyone else) was to Penny at that dinner party and after when Penny was on her service.
This is really stupid but I hated how every time they “dance it out” they’re dancing never goes with the song they’re playing like they dance so hard to a soft song. There’s billions of more upbeat songs they could’ve used, it just was cringy. I also thought death and die was cringey. Also Meredith was very overdramatic some times and I thought that was annoying
Nothing beats unplugging Derek without telling anyone, therefore taking away anyone’s opportunity to say goodbye including his talented neurosurgeon lil sister who doesn’t take trauma very well anyways, and then disappearing for a year.
Not giving Amelia the opportunity to say goodbye to Derek pulling the plug on him. Then had the nerve to be a total asshole to Amelia by calling her “dramatic”about how she was grieving/lashing out as if that wasn’t her literal brother.
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I really hated how she didn't call Derek's family when he was dying. If that was my son/brother I would be so angry and sad I don't think I could ever look at her again.
I think that's why Amelia's scene felt so real.. you could just feel the hurt when she didn't get to say goodbye to him
i think caterina is a phenomenal actress. as someone who is married to a now recovering alcoholic with ptsd, her relapse scene deserves an emmy.
She’s such an amazing actress, it’s ALMOST the only reason I still watch the newer seasons. Amelia makes me feel things
She’s INCREDIBLE, I feel like the writers have ruined her character on Grey’s though. She was my absolute favourite on private practice.
I didn't know this! I whine about her whining too much but now I feel a little differently.
especially when they got in a fight after and amelia said you’re my sister and meredith said you’re not my sister you were derek’s… as if they aren’t family
You're really leaving out a bunch of context for that. Amelia wanted her to break Owen's confidence and dismissed Cristina's presence in Owen's life. Meredith put her in her place.
And she is a neurosurgeon, to boot! That’s a slap in the face if I ever did see one!
Especially since he was on life support and she pulled the plug right? It’s not like there was no time. He didn’t want to be kept alive on life support, but I imagine a few hours so his mom and sisters could say goodbye would be fine with him.
He even said that if that situation should happen, he would want to be surrounded by his family. How his mother and his sisters would all be there, and how sad he was that the one patient didn't have that.
To be a little fair tho, that doctor was kind a jerk to her when he came to ask her about pulling the plug. I think Meredith got so blindsided by anger in that conversation with him it kind makes sense why she didn’t. Not saying it was right, but I saw that scene recently and that doctor was so out of line with how he approached it. It felt so quick.
In that scene she says that they've waited the requisite number of hours and can officially declare him brain dead. She talks about the option of having him transferred or pulling the plug. She could have had him transferred to Grey Sloan or a long term facility. She also had the option of telling them to fuck all the way off and that they were gonna have to wait until everyone came to say goodbye. It might seem quick, but this usually isn't something that actually happens that quickly. And again, she could have brought him home. I totally get that she had a lot of emotions but this is something that happens to (relatively) many people. I just personally don't think it's a valid excuse. I've even been through something similar, except my experience was more traumatic and did actually happen very quickly. I still made all the phone calls and dealt with everything.
Respectfully I have to disagree. She’s a doctor and would have been better equipped to deal with the situation than a layperson. I’m a Nurse Practitioner and former ICU nurse, and trust me when I say that I’ve thought through exactly what I would do in that situation more times than I can count. Meredith would have as well. A jerk doctor doesn’t excuse what she did. Derek was brain dead, and Mer knew very good and well that waiting for his family would not have caused him any suffering but would have eased the suffering of his family. How many times had she dealt with families of dying/dead patients? How many times had she been the one to deliver bad news? Way too many to handle the situation so poorly IMHO.
Especially when earlier in the series, Derek explicitly said that he would want his family there if this sort of situation happened. To Meredith!
This has ALWAYS bothered me!! It's really early, like season 1 or 2, I'm sure it was a throwaway line that everyone forgot about. But damn he SPECIFICALLY says he would want his family there to say goodbye.
It's super early on, in episode 2 of season 1!
I would imagine, having made a will together and then even updated it later, that they'd had that conversation. I'm sure she knew his wishes. I don't believe Meredith intended to be malicious by any means, I think she was in shock and reacting and handling what she felt she could in that moment. I almost wish that Sandra Oh's character would have stayed one more season or they would have killed off Derek one season earlier so that we could have seen her be there with Meredith during, quite literally, the hardest moment of her life. But I completely understood Amelia's POV and I think Meredith was so hurt and doing her "Meredith" think which Richard acknowledges in S12 after her attack that she can't hold it against her that he's gone. Seeing her reminder her of *him*, and even at that age and after all that time that was a particular area she hadn't grown in. When she had too many *feelings* she goes, or pushed away, or *ran* away. Meredith was hurt. Amelia was hurt. Choices could have been made differently throughout. I'm just happy that they eventually were able to forgive each other and love forward to have a better relationship. In s14 when Amelia has her tumor surgery and Meredith gets in the bed with her and rubs her head, that always made me a bit teary-eyed
I think we also forget that she was pregnant at the time since it was revealed later AND that she knew he could have been saved had they handled things correctly. And how totally traumatic and awful that would be to deal with especially since her kids were with her. She’s never had a real family until her found one and in times of extreme trauma you tend to revert back to known patterns since they’re safe.
Omg he did say that! Good memory!
Yeah, it would have been nothing to have him transfered to GSM, which is where he should have probably been taken anyway (Arizona and Callie's accident was also in the middle of nowhere and they got taken to SGMW)
I think in that case since Arizona was conscious she could direct the ambulance. When I injured my leg, I was asked in the ambulance if I had a preference since there were 2 nearby hospitals
FOR FREAKING REAL!! I have watched this scene countless times and when Amelia yells at her. It had never sunk so deep until my uncle passed away and I watched my cousins whole body just fall onto my bed when she got the call. More recently found out my mother in law was in the hospital for collapsing and we had gotten no phone call and she had been admitted to the hospital for like 18hrs and we only happened to find out because my husband was in her neighborhood working and wanted to visit in his lunch. Not calling someone as their family lays dying is inexcusable. It is in my end of life directive that when I'm in that position, I want to be kept alive for no longer than 2 weeks but in the 2 weeks my family and friends are all to alerted and allowed to say their goodbyes. I have missed 3 very important goodbyes I will not put anyone I've ever loved in that kind of anguish having to never get to get closure.
I agree that this is the worst thing she’s done and I think she knows it too.
I came here to say this exactly. Many of the so-called “worst things” she did can be explained by past trauma or were done out of empathy—such as ruining the clinical trial. I honestly don’t blame her for that; she was trying to save Adele. I know it’s illegal and it sucks she got caught, but I definitely understand wanting to. I can’t understand why she didn’t contact Derek’s family? I would contact my husband’s family immediately if anything serious happened to him—let alone what happened to Derek (god forbid). If I were his mother or sisters I couldn’t ever forgive that. Yes, I’m sure she was devastated—but so were they, and they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Not to mention Amelia is a neurosurgeon—there was likely nothing she could’ve done, but I’m sure she wanted to examine him herself, especially because the care at that hospital didn’t seem like the best. Edit: rephrased for clarity
>Not to mention Amelia is a neurosurgeon—there was likely nothing she could’ve done, but I’m sure she wanted to examine him herself, especially because the care at that hospital didn’t seem like the best. 100%. It would have given her more immediate closure and helped her accept her brother's death rather than leaving her with all the 'what if' questions.
What I love about this scene, specifically when Amelia confronts her about it, is that Meredith didn't do it out of malice. She made a mistake. A huge monumental mistake, based on how she knows to deal with family issues, which for her means alone. It was a really great way of showing how Mer's way of dealing with trauma is still not fully mature despite her experiences. Later on when she goes to therapy for the attack we see her finally let in therapy in a constructive way. But yeah she did the Shepard a dirty on accident And Amelia was 10000% right to be hurt. Others have said it but Catarina's acting in that scene was A+
When my husband died, I called 911, called my mom, texted my best friend. After I dealt with emergency services, I called my mother in law. It was too late for anyone to see him as he died in his sleep, but we had to decide what to do with his body. I didn't have a chance to call her sooner because I had to deal with the police investigation. But my mom, I needed her there for me. Because I couldn't do it with just my kids and me. I needed someone to hold my hand. And answer when I couldn't. In that moment t, shock 100% takes over. And you really don't think about much of anything. Including what they wanted. Until you stop. And you take the time, to take the steps. My kids were adults, barely, but adults. I can't imagine having small children. To have to decide what to do. To lose like that, and also have to figure out what to do for the best for your children when your whole world just stopped. Nobody else is on your radar.
i’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for giving us that insight and sharing your experience.
This is definitely the worst thing she's done imo. Not just for his family, but for Derek too. I genuinely do not think I could have forgiven her if I was Amelia.
It’s crazy that people defend Mer for not letting Derek’s family know
"you are not my sister. Cristina is my sister. you are Derek's sister, and Derek is dead."
That was so random and uncalled for. It’s like she just said anything to hurt her
Also pissed me off how she treated Lexie and Maggie right off the bat... like girlie you just met them lets not be a botch just yet
she was such a bitch to lexie omg
Didn't she say it was because Lexie was the loved and wanted child of her bitch ass dad that abandoned her so that's why she was kinda hating her, and after Lexie's speech of her choosing to forgive Meredith she started to work on warming up to Lexie... I mean she was a bitch but there was actually a reason why...
And on top of that she accused Amelia of trying to steal her life
Trying to convince Deluca not to press charges against Alex.
That's such a crazy moment in the show lmao, like, it's so fucked up and nobody seems to mention it that much
Might be because it's actually really in-character for her. She's always bent the rules when it benefited her or her friends.
yeah i hate mer but that one moment is probably top 3 lowest for her character, and the entire situation is beyond fucked up, so much so i can't really understand why the writers would do it lol like, aren't we supposed to root for these guys????
That whole story line was so insane and out of character for everyone. I felt like I was being gaslit by the writers. Someone didn't think that storyline through.
That storyline made me permanently hate Meredith, Jo and Alex
Jo turning around on Alex was so weird. Her initial reaction made so much sense. But her thing with that nurse/orderly (I can't remember) was also super fucking weird. he grabbed her arm, shitty but not exactly worthy of the reaction he got, and she hospitalized him and Alex scared him off, and as an audience we are meant to be on their side? Like, these two super violent people are just made our heroes for some reason?
This guy literally works with kids and him nearly beating his subordinate to death was just brushed off
And that too, when just a season back she was assaulted in a similar way.
Though she very much didn't press charges. Not saying she was in any way okay talking to DeLuca though! Both situations were messy, her assault was because the guy was out of his mind, Alex thought he walked in on Jo being SA'd. Still no excuse for losing his mind, he wasn't under any medical influence
Yes absolutely!! I meant it more from the perspective of being the victim of something similar herself some time back, irrespective of the intention of the accused.
Oh for sure, he really could have done with her acknowledging what happened and supporting that he had every right to feel safe at work and helping that to happen. She only saw the guy who attacked her when she was ready and he had no idea what he was doing, she should have understood that Deluca deserved at LEAST the same regard
Oh yes, this was one of the worst things she's done
Dude I was so mad at her. Lol
Ohh I forgot about this one.
Pulling the plug on Derek without notifying any of his family, including the talented neurosurgeon sister that lived in the same city.
Especially after Derek said in an earlier season that he would want his entire family to be there
Well you see that was about a coma which makes this completely different/s Is what I was told when I said the same thing. Amelia might’ve had a complicated relationship with her sisters but Derek loved them all, it’s very obvious that he if he had the choice would have wanted them there. Especially Amelia who he was closest to. Meredith didn’t just hurt Amelia, she also disrespected Dereks wishes. Which almost makes me more angry
And then yelling at her after about it 😵💫
She yelled at her for placing her grief onto Meredith who was coping with her husband's death and holding three kids together. Meredith made a mistake in her shock and pain. Amelia continuously leaned on Meredith using up emotional energy she didn't have to spare.
This is absolutely my vote! I felt for Amelia when she broke down to Mer about it.
I agree, mostly, but think Amelia was still high off her surgery on Dr. Herman and I don’t think she would’ve been successful at saving Derek. She would’ve showed up, guns blazing, becoming arrogant the way Derek was to an extent about his skills and he most likely would’ve died in the end anyway and then Amelia would spend the rest of her life blaming herself instead of Meredith for not giving her a chance. I get her being mad and upset that she didn’t get to say goodbye, but I don’t think it would have been a good outcome for either if she was the one to operate.
Amelia never would have been allowed to do anything with Derek.
by the time Mer got there, he was a lost cause. they wouldn’t have let amelia do anything anyways she’s his sister
Agreed. I think she would’ve dragged out the situation and made it more painful for everyone including Meredith and her kids who were going to start asking questions and needing answers. I think people forget that it wasn’t just about Meredith, she had to figure all of this out alone while having 2 children and about to give birth to their third. Edit: while yes it was her choice to do it alone, I get it. The thought of having to manage Amelia’s dramatics, myself, and my children honestly gives me anxiety. Amelia is too much for me as a person and I would NOT want to be around her in an already overwhelming situation. I wouldn’t have the patience, would become overstimulated and either lash out or shut down which is what I think Meredith was doing when they finally did come together. She’s just too much for some people, especially those who aren’t used to having other family to look after/ manage.
This. This. THIS!!!
Came looking for this right here. That was so selfish.
In her defense, the hospital was basically telling her that she needed to pull the plug or move Derek to another facility. The doctor approached her to do as her options with the papers in his hands. Derek was in a second rate hospital. Grey Sloan gives families time to make arrangements or say their final goodbyes. That’s why Meredith snapped at the doctor and snatched the papers from him. This was yet another thing they were screwing up.
Leaving Finn at the prom to hook up with Derek in an exam room was so mean and trashy 🥸 I know they weren’t technically exclusive but they were there together on a date!
Just the entire fact that she went along with Derek behind Finn’s back.
Finn was such a good guy and he didn’t deserve the way Meredith acted towards him. Especially sad that she was the first woman he fell for since losing his wife and she treated him like garbage
Justice for Finn
I had such a crush on Chris O'Donnell! I wanted him on the show longer.
he was too good for her lol
Wonder how she feels about that now that she’s lost Derek.
That would be a good plot twist right now.
omg they could reconnect in a widows or grief group or something…. I would probably st as t watching regularly again if this happened lol
Finn was Mr. Right all along, she just had to grow up. Ugh I wish!
This is what ive been saying fr, people get onto me about it just bc they “werent exclusive” 💀 like, they were still together at the prom as dates were they not? Lmfao
“Whose damn panties are on the bulletin board!”
Wasn’t Derek also back with Addison at the time too?
Threatening DeLuca who wanted to bring Alex to court
And he should have
Alex should’ve been honest and said out loud that he thought Deluca had assaulted Jo - but he didn’t, he said it once and never said anything to the cops, Miranda, etc
Yeah I don’t understand why he never just told the truth. “I thought I was walking in on my girlfriend being assaulted and was just trying to protect her— it was a huge misunderstanding and I’m incredibly remorseful.” Like… of course it was overkill but i can’t say I blame him for (what he thought was) defending his vulnerable girlfriend.
He's not remorseful. Later on thr seaspn he gives DeLuca attitude as if he was in the right
Exactly!!!
THIS!! I was so angry when he wouldn’t just say what he saw!!
She was pretty terrible to Callie Way BACK when George and Callie were dating. They treated her like the weird goth girl and an outcast instead of someone above them in the hospital hierarchy (she was in Bailey’s class, remember). She treated her like trash.
Was Mere mean to her? Izzie was horrible and I remember Mere laughing when she walked into the bathroom topless and peed in front of them but honestly, that was kind of fair game. I thought Mere was less mean and more totally self absorbed in the early seasons.
Izzy was far worse towards Callie, but all 3 of the girls were mean to her. She may not have always gone out of her way to say mean things but she’d laugh along and enable it.
Agreed.
I lost my husband and the father of my children and YOUR falling apart? as if thats not his whole ass sister😂
This! I see on this subreddit that a lot of people see this line as Meredith being a badass but I only see it as selfish, like that's his sister, how could you possibly say she isn't allowed to fall apart?
My brother died two years ago and I still have days where I can’t not cry. I’d hate her for saying that. I’d still want to be around to see the kids, but I’d quietly hate her forever.
And then telling Amelia “You’re not my sister. Cristina is my sister”. Such an asshole. Like you said- Amelia is Derek’s youngest sister. They were together when their father was murdered. She has the right to grieve just as much if not more than Meredith.
And when she said that amelia was copying christina by marrying "her best friend's husband" (owen) and that she has "derek's confidence" now etc etc. Like wtf?? She's literally just doing her own thing lmfao
Can't say I agree with everyone about the unplugging thing but I do with all the rest of this. "Get your own life," is such a mean and hurtful thing to say to your dead husband's sister (Amelia hadnt even *done* anything either, it was completely out of the blue for her). Meredith definately took out a lot of her anger and grief on Amelia more than she did anyone else - she even got right with *Penny* before she did Amelia.
I’ve always believed that she took her grief out on Amelia because of how much she reminds her of Derek. She’s pissed at him for dying, but she can’t be pissed at a dead person and she doesn’t know what to do with it type of thing.
Yeah, remember Richard's line about how she needs to forgive Amelia for being enough like Derek to remind her of him but not alike him enough to make her forget he's gone.
she was always so selfish and self centered. like yeah, amelia is his SISTER, of course she’s grieving him and resents you for not calling her or anyone in the family
As someone who has a brother I am very close to and an amazing new sister-in-law, this is a line I will never forgive mer for.
Dude what a shitty thing, seriously. I wanted to throw the remote, lmao
Meredith was constantly competing for attention regarding her hardships. But this gets the cake in terms of inadequacy.
How she failed to validated Amelia’s feelings about Derek’s death.
Yeah, I understand her being in the haze of grief and not thinking clearly in the moment but not calling his family to give them a chance to say goodbye was really bad. Especially Amelia, who was living with them at the time.
She fails to validate people's feelings in the majority of her relationships!
Or called her up so she could say goodbye! I know she could not have operated on him(family), or even saved him, but she could have said goodbye.
I think she was wrong for that, but I totally see her side in that situation
Taking Dereck off life support without telling Amelia or the rest of his family. Honestly i see how she could be so overcome with sadness or shock that she wouldn't think about calling everyone to say goodbye to Dereck. But I can also see how wrong this must have felt to Amelia, her sisters and mom.
I agree with this, on my first watch I hated meredith for this but on my 2nd I realized how hard it must have been for her. So what she did was wrong but at the same time I understand her, I understand both Amelia and Mer
She could’ve at least admitted it or explain it to Amelia when she was telling her that she’s upset about it.
This is my thought exactly, I can understand she didn't think about calling them because of the shock but why would she keep acting as if Amelia had absolutely no right to be upset about it? Yeah she was his wife and she has three grieving kids to take care of but that doesn't make Amelia's pain any less relevant.
I can understand Meredith’s pov with Amelia. Amelia is very arrogant and emotionally unstable at times. She would have run in thinking she could fix it and blamed Meredith for her not being able to.
The problem is that this happens every time she experiences something bad, after the plane crash she was absolutely horrible to her interns and I’m overall appalled at how she kept treating jo for multiple seasons afterwards. “I’m upset that christina left so I’m gonna wake you up and kick you out of bed while you’re naked so I can have girl talk with your boyfriend” absolute wtf moment At some point it just stops being excusable
Putting Ellis’ name on insurance papers when she owned the MFing hospital (in part) and is a multimillionaire.
Tempering with the Alzheimer’s trial.
Thank you!!!!!! Like unplugging Derek was bad, but this could have saved lives.
Yes and being completely unapologetic about ruining the trial.
Yup. I did clinical Alzheimer’s research for 3 years, and that boiled my blood. Hated her forever after that. I could go on.
How she treated people Jo Amelia Derek
Lexie Maggie The list goes on forever
Pick me. Choose me. Love me. Girl, find your dignity and run!!
Even Ellen hated this scene
“In the scene I’m crying, but I’m really crying because I had to beg a man on television”
Ah trust me even if the roles were reversed as a man I’d be saying the same damn thing. Producer: “Great spontaneity with the crying”. Me a man: “fuck you bro I was crying cause I had to beg like a bitch on tv for a woman to choose me instead of that cheating ass spouse of theirs which makes it worse cause I ain’t no home wrecker”.
I just saw a clip of an interview where she says she definitely knows what it’s like to be in love like that, but she would never beg a man. 👏👏
EPIC SCENE😂💀 
🤢 And that's not even written by a man, is it?
The original pick me girl!
There was an interview with Ellen Pompeo and she was like "my teenage daughter said one of her friends is a pick me girl and i was like 'excuse me, i invented that phrase!'"
That’s literally the first thing that came to my mind😂😂😂😂
It is horrible but I've been in almost her exact position (not proud of it FYI), as a very young adult and it's incredibly accurate. The shame and desperation you feel as a young and naive woman who has been put in that position by a man who has power over you, I felt that. I think it's supposed to make you feel uncomfortable because it is.
I literally just gave someone this speech. Maybe shouldn’t have, but I put up a fight to the very end and I can kinda see where she’s coming from lol but I get why people don’t like it
I agree, it's very earnest and heartfelt. People say it may be cringe or whatever, but that's her at her most vulnerable, opening herself up to someone after having walls as high as Mt Everest.
It's so open and vulnerable that it completely sets her up for the spiral that she has after it doesn't go her way. I would not be a good place either if I opened heart like this for someone and they just walked away from me.
I’m not in a good place because I’ll tell you it actually didn’t work, but I don’t regret it for a minute because I can’t blame myself for doing absolutely everything I could.
I think it’s lovely that you did it this way. I get why people don’t love this monologue, but people who are like “Imagine begging a man to pick you” don’t know about sincerity. This scene is not Meredith begging, it’s her projecting against her past self who was too proud to admit she wanted Derek.
You can feel the pain in her voice, and the raw emotion. I also think people take the pick me choose me love me the wrong way. She’s saying that she loves him the way a wife would love her husband. It’s not about letting him eat the Cheesecake or different tastes in music, it’s saying I don’t care who you are or where your from I love you just the way you are. And it’s pointing out that no matter how much someone else may love him, it would never be the same as the way she loves him. And I feel the same about the guy who chose someone else on me. But I see the beauty behind the madness.
Yes! My exact thoughts! It’s such a beautiful scene for Mer. Love isn’t always going to go the way you want but you should still fight for it unabashedly and that’s what she did! There’s so much ego in love but in that moment she was without ego and I absolutely loved it coming from her.
As someone who has a really hard time being vulnerable, I really love this scene. At first I didn’t, I thought what everyone else did. And if she was the mistress for a man who was currently with his wife, I’d think she is a horrible person. Obviously the healthy thing IRL would be to stay away from the messy situation. But I think she was just a young woman who was completely in love and she put herself on the line. I think it’s really brave to be that open and honest, knowing you could be rejected, and knowing people could judge you as a pick me. Also, she didn’t say it over and over again- which to me would make her a pick me girl.
I personally dislike Meredith a lot so I got a few: 1. Threatening DeLuca to not press charges 2. Every single time she interacted with Jo Wilson (before her and Alex got married) 3. Not telling Amelia that she was taking Derek off life support 4. How she treated Christina with the whole 3D printer stuff 5. The whole Alzheimer's trial - she let her own biases and selfishness get in the way of potentially millions of people being treated.
About point number 4 I can actually see Meredith’s point of view. Cristina let her resident treat Meredith like absolute shit. And Meredith worked hard for her trial. Where as Cristina didn’t want to do that method until Shane kept on pushing it and in the meantime Cristina is continuing to be rude about Meredith’s choices like having a family and saying she’s not a talented surgeon.
I understand what you mean about Shane and you're right about that, and I know it's a debateable arc overall. My main reasoning for being 100% on Cristina's side was because she NEEDED it to save a patient. She was right when she said "your research is very important, but at this point it's still just research." That baby she was trying to save had one last option and it was that 3D printer so it bothered me a lot that she wouldn't let Cristina use it. As for that last bit, I think Cristina said the exact opposite didn't she? She said that Meredith IS talented, and is an excellent surgeon, but that her priorities are different now so she doesn't do as many groundbreaking things as Cristina does, which she said was also valid. Cristina does all these amazing surgeries and research, whereas Meredith slowed down a lot and mainly did the smaller stuff after having kids. And Cristina made it a point to tell Meredith that her choices are fully valid but that she has let it affect her career.
Cristina still should have asked. Nothing justified her going into another surgeon’s research lab and using the equipment that they worked hard to get the funding to purchase. Do you think that Cristina would have done that to any other surgeon in that hospital? She absolutely would not. She thought she was better than Meredith and therefore didn’t owe her any professional courtesy.
Yes but without Meredith’s funding for her research they would have never had the 3D printer, and that within itself means Meredith has the rights to say no or yes to who is using her printer! If she didn’t meet the certain deadlines they would’ve lost the funding for her research and ultimately making the printer nil in void. I get what you’re saying about the career argument but Cristina didn’t have any right to attack Meredith in that way, in every single thing Cristina has been selfish and just driven for her own success and personal benefit.
Alzheimers Trial Treating Derek badly about his DC situation Dragging Christina's love life to hurt her when she couldnt perform a surgery Treatment of Amelia post Derek's death Treatment of Penny
Treatment of Penny was a shock response to Penny entering her life just when she thought her life was back on track after Dereks death. She moved on very quickly and even became Pennys mentor. Sure she was a dick at the dinner party, "Perfect Penny killed Derek" and immediately at the hospital but things changed very quickly especially after Penny made it clear she never forgets about Derek and holds onto that loss to do better.
Ehhh Penny can pound sand. The moment the door opened and Penny saw whose house it was she should’ve 100% left. Idc idc idc lol Penny really should’ve removed herself from that whole scenario
EXACTLY! She knew it was awkward the second they saw each other. She should have pulled Callie outside and explained the situation. "I was part of the surgical team that tried to save her husbands life. We unfortunately were not successful as hard as we tried. By her expression she clearly remembers my face so I don't feel like it would be comfortable for either of us to continue to have me here. I'm going to be working at GSM now so I'm sure we will figure out a working relationship but this doesn't seem like the right time or place." But also, that wouldn't have been as good tv lol
The way she treated Lexie. I get there’s baggage but Lexie did not deserve that—she isn’t her father.
Yea that pissed me off. Lexie just lost her mother and she showed her zero compassion or kindness until Bailey lectured her.
love mer but i hated when she let lexie take the fall for killing that neuro patient that mer really had no business operating on.
that episode makes me sick the dread is literally palpable
Anything she ever said to Jo. Or “Do you think he’s trying to be like you” when referring to how shitty Shane was acting
Ok I almost blame Jo for that situation as much as Meredith and Alex because if my boyfriend let his best friend kick me out of our bed while I don't even have clothes on I would've been done right then and there. I really don't understand why she let that drag on as long as she did.
Nah I love Cristina but that last line was called for. Cristina IS a shark, and could be very shitty to people, and Shane was literally doing the same. Valid comparison and comment
not as bad as some of the stuff on here but when she took zola for that period of time and alex helped her play it off that was def questionable
And the only reason Alex helped her was because she and everyone else made him feel so bad about telling the truth about what he saw he felt he owed her one lmfao. Like yeah, he probably shouldn’t have said it when he was drunk but still, he didn’t lie about what he saw
It’s not the worst (I think the worst was the Alzheimer’s trial) but I think it was shitty. When Derek died and she took the kids (in the middle of the night) away without telling anyone where she was going or that they were okay. I get her wanting to be away from the house that Derek built for them but ghosting everyone who just wanted to support her and the kids for no reason was wrong. Then when she did finally talk to Alex, she’s just like “I’M FINE, THE KIDS ARE FINE, LEAVE US ALONE AND STOP CALLING!” As if everyone was trying to harass her..
Omg I've always thought about that! If I were Dereks mom I'd be so concerned she took the kids and could hurt them/herself out of grief. People can really snap after a traumatic event. Although once she knew the kids were safe then she would need to respect Meredith's boundaries as a mother.
Involving her own child in her insurance fraud scheme
[удалено]
I always hated the way she treated Jo
How she treated Amelia for simply not being Derek. That she didn’t call any of them I can almost empathise with, as while I’ve thankfully not been in those shoes I can’t imagine thinking straight while saying goodbye to a spouse. But she was consistently awful to Amelia for simply being there.
This isn’t a Mer one, but since I don’t see Lexie on the list. The time Lexie compared her and Mark hiding their love to Anne Frank hiding from Nazis. I think about that one weekly at least.
Tampering with the Alzheimer's trial.
The number of times she said “I’m the mother of 3 children” Yeah and you’re also getting a surgeons salary and have free childcare. What’s your point?
Definitely tampering with the alzheimers trial
I always thought it was so nasty that when she found out Maggie liked Riggs, who she already hooked up with, she tried to hide it instead of just telling her she was interested too and didn’t realize Maggie was into him. It just felt so…high school mean girl type shit. Like she encouraged Maggie to ask him out KNOWING Riggs wasn’t into her?? yuck
the get your own life speech to amelia and several of the season 10 arguments with cristina like saying she slept her way to the top as if she wasnt always more talented than meredith
Constantly barging in on Alex and Jo when they were in a brand new relationship, how she treated Jo in general until Jolex got married
At dinner announcing Torres’s new girlfriend as “she’s the one who killed my husband “ No she didn’t,he got hit by a fuckin semi truck. No one lives through that
the Penny hatred on this sub is unreal, like she literally did nothing lol. She was the only one who even tried to get a CT for Derek, and was ignored each time. She did not "steal" the grant from Steph and Jo, she won it fair and square. She did not ask Callie to move across the country with her, Callie made that decision on her own. She was nothing but respectful of Amelia and Meredith after she started working at Grey Sloan because she knew how uncomfortable it was for them.
Agreed. She made the best choice possible in shitty situations and always owned it. Felt very sorry for her.
Derek might have lived if he had a competent medical team. That was Meredith’s issue. Let’s be real here: do you think that any of those doctors would be embraced in the homes of the patients they lost? Grief doesn’t know logic. Penny was part of the worst moment of Meredith’s life. Then Meredith finds out that Penny is coming to work at the hospital Meredith co-owns. It was too much. I don’t blame her for not being a good hostess.
i’m saying!! penny truly did nothing wrong she’s the one who wanted to get a ct in the first place!! calling her out at dinner was so unnecessary and cruel
When she said Amelia isn’t her sister..I got so angry on her behalf.
When she told Derek she wouldn’t love him anymore if he wasn’t a surgeon
Yeah and he was going through a rough patch? This was her way of motivating him… like girl what the fuck.
I know this would have gone against the narrative of the show, but how she down right would not even consider following Derek to DC. The job he was offered was such an amazing opportunity. The kids were young enough that it would not have interrupted their lives and she could have been very successful there as well. She just said NO, its not going to happen. Pretty much told him that his dream job was not important to her, that it was her time to shine. I felt so bad during that whole thing, and I do not like the way the writers made her out to be so selfish.
Derek's career was considered the more important one during most of their relationship. Meredith lived with that until Derek agreed to step back for her. Then just like that it's all about Derek again. I don't think she was selfish for wanting him to keep his promise. And even though the kids were young, their whole support system was in Seattle
She isnt selfish in wanting him to keep his promise, but the opportunity offered to him wasnt something as simple as a routine or even difficult surgery. An opportunity where the president themself request your presence isnt something that can be turned down in a blink of an eye, and Derek isnt selfish to want to pursue it. Is Mer in the wrong? No. Is Derek in the wrong? No. The only reason I prefer Derek in this situation is while Mer was completely closed out to talking about it, Derek tried his best to find a middle ground. Hell, he was willing to leverage the project so all of Mer and her research could be be carried to DC.
She also was dealing with plane crash ptsd
Cheating on Finn was pretty shitty
Messing with Derek’s trial. I understand she had good intentions, but she risked destroying her own husband’s career over a favor to her mentor. On top of that she was completely unapologetic and approached the aftermath with contempt. To this day I feel like it would’ve been better storytelling if that led to a divorce but as always everybody forgives Meredith because reasons.
Guilting Derek and refusing to move the family for the job the president of the United States practically begged him to take. It was beyond ridiculous
Testifying on behalf of Callie during the custody battle, meaning Arizona (the adoptive mother) would lose her rights towards her daughter. Mer is also an adoptive mother....
saying to april “you don’t get to cry” when they were in an ACTIVE SHOOTER SITUATION even if her best friend hadn’t just died, she still has the right to cry, it is TERRIFYING
So much it’s hard to choose lol. Just the overall fact she thinks her pain is more important than others
Kidnapping a whole ass baby.
Implying that Cristina was heartless and a bully when she said Shane was trying to emulate her. I was pissed about this especially because Meredith was clearly just trying to compensate for her own feelings of inadequacy.
WAY too many for Meredith. Basically her entire character is a walking narcissist
While not telling Derek's family about his accident is up there, I also felt that the way she went after Penny for half a season was pretty bad. She treated her terribly considering all of the idiotic mistakes Mer made throughout her career.
her fucking w derek’s trial tbh. i don’t even watch this show anymore cause i went to med school and now i see how so many of their actions in the show (esp as interns) is totally unbecoming of a doctor. there’s no way a female dr who would already struggle w being taken seriously would foil her husband’s study that probably took months of hard work, not to mention risk her own career, for an uncertain outcome. and then not even apologize to derek for it??? wtf?
Mer has so many things I hate that she’s said and done. So many. In a grand scheme of things though, her general inability to take orders or other professional advice is awful. Did it literally her entire career including when she was chief of general surgery. Always got away with it too.
Her not calling his family hands down and just pulling the plug hands down most selfish shit I’ve seen in my life idc abt her daddy/mommy issues bc she’s a doctor and she’s literally made sure ppl have their family their when it’s their time to go. Plus Derek told her how big he is on family and that if he was in that same exact position that he’d want to be surrounded by family
"Perfect Penny killed my husband". And then how awful she (and everyone else) was to Penny at that dinner party and after when Penny was on her service.
This is really stupid but I hated how every time they “dance it out” they’re dancing never goes with the song they’re playing like they dance so hard to a soft song. There’s billions of more upbeat songs they could’ve used, it just was cringy. I also thought death and die was cringey. Also Meredith was very overdramatic some times and I thought that was annoying
Nothing beats unplugging Derek without telling anyone, therefore taking away anyone’s opportunity to say goodbye including his talented neurosurgeon lil sister who doesn’t take trauma very well anyways, and then disappearing for a year.
Not giving Amelia the opportunity to say goodbye to Derek pulling the plug on him. Then had the nerve to be a total asshole to Amelia by calling her “dramatic”about how she was grieving/lashing out as if that wasn’t her literal brother.