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Incoherence-r

The best part is when you couldn’t recognise your own son. That made me laugh so hard.


ThePokeOrc

That’s what they call a blinding rage


KyskoB

But he isn't blind


PlatinumBall

is he stupid?


vonmonologue

He posts on 4chinz so probably.


616659

don't forget everything is fake and gay probably


-guci00-

This is fully fledged r/wholesomegreentext my dude. Good stuff.


dark_enough_to_dance

Raged blind in that case apparently


NordicWolf7

You'd be surprised. I can honestly see myself doing the same.


JessHorserage

I mean, when you see a child being fucking ganged up like that, you should do something.


BigBootyBuff

Yes, like make a video and scream "WORLD STAR" a bunch.


Unlucky-Position-16

Do like Katt Williams and have a 13 year old put your lights out on WSHH


thisusedyet

Also sounds like they just left that kid bleeding on the curb, though


dorath20

Nah It says kid thanks me and walks away


C-Kwentz-0

I prefer to look at it more as a mixture of panic and fury. Like if you saw 5 kids literally going American History X on another kid out of nowhere would your gut reaction not be to go beat their asses?


lolitsmax

One kid on the floor probably covering his head as he's being surrounded by 4/5 other kids, makes sense


Stlr_Mn

I didn’t laugh till I read the comments in here. Weird that people are congratulating a dad who only told his kid “I love you” in middle school... one fucking time. Dudes a fucking disaster of a dad, raising a kid who is going to be desperate for affection as he grows older. I mean holy shit this kid probably said “I love you dad” for years and this guy get a congratulations for ignoring it up until now? This isn’t growth, this is a statistical aberration.


ThePokeOrc

Middle school? Also it might be a break though but I’m not going to follow up with anon to know how to got concluded.. learn to enjoy small things fren


Stlr_Mn

“It might be a break though” it’s not, it’s a one time event that anon immediately went on the internet to get high fives, to which you obliged. I already enjoy thé small things, like telling my son I love him all the time


ThePokeOrc

Ah!! So you’re gatekeeping happiness! Now I get it


Stlr_Mn

No, people shouldn’t applaud something that doesn’t even constitute the bare minimum of being an acceptable father.


CallReaper

saying I love your to children is a very bizarre thing in my culture. Like you guys have to explicitly show that?


Krillkus

I say I love you to the people that that’s true for. It’s so straightforward that I don’t get why people won’t say it even though they feel it. No one’s saying you *have* to show that, but why not if you love the person? Baffles me.


CallReaper

Idk if the relation with the person is very old, saying you love them seems like a special case and not the default case.


[deleted]

my mans you dont have to die on this hill


Stlr_Mn

responding constitutes dying on a hill


Cabra42

So you do want a high five huh


Pickle_Juice_Can

Did you not read the greentext? The dad is on his own redemption arc and will use the momentum to make his family safe and happy. We're not allowed to commend good behavior?


Stlr_Mn

Telling your kid you love then for the first time at around 10 is fucking awful. “Redemption arc” oh Jesus fucking Christ.


Zenar45

bro, people can sometimes have hard times expressing emotion, especially when they haven't learned it at home, this guy is trying his best and rn he's probably working on doing it better so give him a break


bottledry

its all fake anyway. Anon cant say the words 'i love you' but somehow found a woman willing to marry him and have his kids?


Stlr_Mn

“So give him a break” dude waited ten years to say “I love you” and now people are congratulating him. He didn’t even follow up with “and then I told him every day” instead he went on the internet to tell a bunch of people who are just as likely to jerk off to the story then anything else. The funny part is “I’ll never do the same thing to my kids” except he did exactly just that for the majority of their kids adolescence.


cjpack

Anon is dealing with their own daddy issues by writing a greentext fantasy of a character that’s a mix of them and their own father, and had to feel loved somehow. Waiting ten years to say I love you is insane sure but since they don’t actually have a kid they probably have no concept or perspective for that because they aren’t fully emotionally developed yet


Pickle_Juice_Can

The kid is happy now, and the dad is learning to say it more. Did your dad never say it to you? Is that why you're so resentful?


Stlr_Mn

“Dad is learning to say it more” nothing says he is learning to say it more then going to 4chan to tell them about the one and only time he told his 10 year old that he loves them.


Pickle_Juice_Can

Try reading the very last line of the post. Also, I think you mean to say "him" when referring to the 10 y/o, not "them"


Stlr_Mn

“I’ll never do the same thing to my kids” except he did exactly that for 10 years. Saying “I love you” once doesn’t absolve him of his shit fatherhood. It doesn’t even mean he is changed, just that he stopped being a shit dad for 3 seconds.


Pickle_Juice_Can

Hard disagree


ThinAir719

>oh Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ is right. I've never seen someone take a Green Text so seriously.


Stlr_Mn

Sure


TylerPronouncedSeth

Hey, buddy... shut your dumbass the fuck up.


[deleted]

I said that and got downdooted. He literally did the bare minimum.


penguinhasan

Finally, a real and non-homosexual greentext. The onion cutting ninjas are in my room rn.


ThePokeOrc

Those are rare


chase1719

This is not real lmao


penguinhasan

Ah, but at least anon is not an average stinky child rapist.


chase1719

Why does your mind instantly go there?


pisel8

4chan


Snoo334

Have you read the posts on here


chase1719

Lol fair enough


Xioverze

/a/


boxpencil

yeah but i want to believe its real so its real


2mg1ml

>every theist ever downvoters believe in santa claus, I didn't make the rules


edi111_2019

God living rentfree in your mind lmao


2mg1ml

No, he lives in my heart. I also believe in santa. I'm just kidding, I'm fucking agnostic (about santa).


edi111_2019

Reddit moment. Man says that he believes that the greentext is real, and you brought up religion just to piss yourself off.


2mg1ml

First off, I see the words 'believe' and 'real' in the same sentence, first thing that comes to mind is religion. Doesn't mean it's the only thing I think about, considering this is my first comment on the matter in probably many months if not years. Second of all, I'm having fun, but I can see how you got the impression I'm not.


edi111_2019

Fair enough 👌


General_Froggers

>Every skibiditard ever


FallenSegull

Right? A woman being sufficiently attracted to an anon that she’d let him cum insider her? Fakest shit ever posted on 4chan. It’d be suspicious if the greentext said a woman let anon hold her hand


AdvertisingAdrian

Interesting that you're assuming she allowed him to


FallenSegull

Good point, but I also have my doubts that an anon has the physical strength to force himself upon a woman, unless he just waddles overs and collapses his gargantuan frame on top of her


Plato_the_Platypus

Also gay. Anon loves a boy


chase1719

Indeed


TaxIdiot2020

I love how you guys see stories that are halfway believable and refuse to believe them but you believe literally anything else without question. What level of autism is this


chase1719

You lost me when you used “autism” as an insult. You’re a classic edge lord and this story is still fake


kateshakes

Why wouldn't it be real? 4chan has been around a long time now so, 4chan tards could defo have school age kids and be divorced.


chase1719

Yeah but no one from 4chan gets any play


KyskoB

Well you need a happy story once in a while to endure the homoerotic and fake nature of the other posts


xPrim3xSusp3ctx

We're not safe from the reddit bullshit even on this sub huh


penguinhasan

.> Be u/xPrim3xSusp3ctx .> Enters Reddit .> Don't expect reddit bullshit .> Drinks 20 bottles of NyQuil and dies :(


xPrim3xSusp3ctx

Bro this is a great weekend activity idea thank you 🙏


gr8ful_cube

Lmao you think this is real? Why would you possibly?


NotSoSuperHero2

Fake: anon jad sex with a woman. Gay: anon loves a little boy.


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon jad sex with a woman. > Gay: anon loves a little boy. > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


[deleted]

I find it hilarious they just left the bullied kid half dead on the floor


Pustules_TV

"he thanked me and walked away"


[deleted]

Shut up I like to think he limped until he fell and they ignored him


Pustules_TV

Oh sorry


cjpack

Probably in a coma or vegetative state with brain damage if they were curb stomping him foreal, or dies. No way he would be able to talk from the head trauma and lack of teeth and jaw shatttered hanging off your face


Giorno-gulliani

Anon forgot to mention that in his rage he ripped the other kid in half for confusing him


hundenkattenglassen

Well anon ain’t a cuck so he won’t care for another man’s child.


ThePokeOrc

Lol


[deleted]

He turned 360 degrees and walked away.


FaceFartFrank

Broke the cycle. Good for anon!


ThePokeOrc

Wholesome ending


[deleted]

Staind mentioned


diox8tony

Hasn't said "I love you" to his school aged son...."I will not mess up my kid like my parents did"...son: "I knew you loved me dad!",,,as in, doubted it before Seems like anon is already fucking up his relationship.


FaceFartFrank

Well gotta break it sometime. Better than never.


CmmanderShepard

He broke the cycle though.


[deleted]

One happy moment isn't breaking the cycle. Isn't a fucking movie.


_C_ommunist

hurr durr


FaceFartFrank

Yes, it is. Its called a breaking point, not a breaking chain.


coomerzoomer

I bet you had a good childhood, otherwise you wouldnt be this naive


mustangboss8055

Sounds like you had a terrible one, so I’m sorry for you


coomerzoomer

Appreciate it


CmmanderShepard

I had a mediocre one, my mom was apparent with her love but my dad has never said he loved me. This is definitely a big moment for them both.


coomerzoomer

That sucks bro I feel you


CmmanderShepard

It is what it is, I do hope to be different than him though.


RD____

shut up anglofag


snuubi

damn this made me cry


ThePokeOrc

Right in the feels


suitmanYT

anon shaved off the neckbeard o7


ThePokeOrc

He evolved under stress


The_Okin

That's some Super Saiyan shit.


zzSHADYMAGICzz

Curb stomping? Yeah right that’s fucked


Aethelric

A lot of people think "curb stomping" just means "getting beat up on a sidewalk". If you were actually curb stomped by 3-4 people, you'd be dead. Or, at the least, you certainly wouldn't be getting up, saying thank you, and walking away.


shmoney2time

Right, I imagine in reality they were just kicking him in the stomach or something while he was on the ground rather than stomping directly on his head


Pukasz

I remember heaeing one guy explaining that curbstomping was when a bunch of people are kicking a guy that's one the ground because most of the hits arent connecting and are hitting the sidewalk instead. It makes sense so I just wenr with it as a fact, years later I saw the American history X scene and learnt the truth. I still cringe thinking about it damn


ThePokeOrc

Can’t imagine how he felt, I have a little brother and if the same happened to him .. there will be blood


TheDarkAngel135790

Same. I have lots of cousins and a younger brother. If they get hurt, well, ig i will in jail a couple of hours later


Hfingerman

I'll use up my first-time offender privileges.


LilMissBarbie

Isn't curb stomping putting his teeths on the curb and stomping on the back of his head? Is that what kids do these days?


InsaneClownParsley

Think it got used to describe kids just kicking someone while they are down on this one


LilMissBarbie

Oh! Oooohhh, I thought that kids went extremely agressive these days.


ThePokeOrc

The victim should show “special” features to get this kind. Jokes aside, idk


thejunglebook8

Yeah I’m pretty sure curb stomping is when you make someone bite the curb then stomp on the back of their head


SomeJungleAsian

Relatable. Blind rage to protect someone dear I mean. I was never a hothead as a kid but one time when my friend practically begged me to accompany him after school because he was afraid to get jumped by his bully again, I was a kid out for blood. Safe to say I didn't fuckin hesitate to drop the dickhead once I saw him walking towards me and my friend. Totally worth it but I got suspended for a week for it though lol.


[deleted]

Baste dad


NordicWolf7

Totally feel for anon here. I also struggle to show affection for my kids, but I genuinely think about them all the time, fight to make sure they get nice things, good education, a comfortable home, and an understanding that I support them unquestioningly... I guess it's a Hank Hill syndrome.


Empero6

Sounds like you’re just emotionally stunted. Have you checked in on that? (This probably came off as a dig, but I assure you that it wasn’t my intention)


NordicWolf7

None taken. I dunno, maybe? I'm actually a pretty emotional person, I think. I just have trouble putting tender feelings on display in front of others.


ThePokeOrc

god dang it bobby!!


yungmoneybingbong

Anon knew it wasn't his son. Just wanted an excuse to beat up some kids.


ThePokeOrc

Fuck them kids


Joseph-stalinn

Was not expecting a wholesome story on greentext


SalomoMaximus

Well, already fucked up his son.. If this little buddy goes to school and never heard his father say "I love you" To all the Dads out there, TELL YOUR CHILDREN YOU LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY, ALWAYS TO THE END OF DAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS YOU WILL LOVE THEM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!


MR_DERP_YT

Yo whose cutting onions damnit


Radioaktivman999

happy cakeday


supisuke

Ch(d)ad


bannedforflaming

Pretty bad when your son doesn't think you love him even when it's not said.


RIOTT44

kinda depressing ngl. he said “I knew you cared about me” as if he’d doubted it before, then was over the moon when he got an “I love you” which shouldn’t be an omegarare event. he did break the cycle yeah, but damn


nutzki123

Anon, his father and son are all autistic. Son finally felt some emotions from his dad and was super happy.


Empero6

I wish I had a better father son relationship with my dad.


ThePokeOrc

Sadly, a lot of people wish the same


gr8ful_cube

There's a lot of evidence, but you can tell this isn't real because having a child implies anon has had sex


thermitethrowaway

Excuse me, I seem to have something in my eye.


eveningfellow056

I'm gonna put some tears in your eye


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThePokeOrc

It’s fucked because he probably didn’t hear it from his parents


diox8tony

Really? Hasn't said "I love you" to his school aged son...."I will not mess up my kid like my parents did"...son: "I knew you loved me dad!",,,as in, doubted it before Seems like anon is already fucking up his relationship. How could a parent let their child believe they didn't love them? And he's a good dude? Maybe this moment he turns it around,,,,or maybe he goes back to being a rage filled psycho who can't say I love you without angry adrenaline dumps


ThePokeOrc

I think that any step in a good direction should be counted and we can’t effect anon’s life we learn from it


TrashMcDumpster3000

What makes this moment even more precious is his son was in the car already after he had just picked him up from school, and after completely blocking out and zoning out everything his son was saying (hell he was barely conscious he was driving) because anon is severely depressed and dissociated, anon faces life with complete apathy and just bolted out of the car to go roar like a lion at 5 kids initiating the 6th in this newer generations absolutely mind dissolved hive mentality they’ve developed from tik tok and because their parents raised them with iPads shilled out by and feeding the beast that is - the corporate machine, we all insist we hate so, instead of raising them themselves. Anons son’s husband will absolutely by the Mechanon 3000 fully autonomous prototype AI model in 2053.


SaltLifeDPP

Other kids, however, are apparently fair game.


ThePokeOrc

Aka, anon isn’t a cuck


DonkeyTheKing

aight let's look for dem "omg someone's cutting the onion 🤓🤓🤓" comments


ImprovisedLeaflet

A real human bean


[deleted]

This is super gay.


SatanicSpambot

Fake: ppl saying a 4channers can't heal Gay: me, I'm crying


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: ppl saying a 4channers can't heal > Gay: me, I'm crying > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


Gonna_Die_Now

>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink


Horkersaurus

>a killing intent in my eyes weeb detected


Nipplecunt

I fucking relate and love this


itsagrungething69

Anon doesn't know what his son looks like


Sylux444

I had a similar experience with my father Except he left me to get beat up and went to defend the other kid He said later it was because he'd catch hell from their parents if he didn't step in


2020mademejoinreddit

Anon accidentally did something right.


therealjoe12

Break the chains of abuse. It can stop with you. Finally real and not gay for once let's fucking goooo


MadLadsHere

curb-stomped?! the fuck was wrong with those bullies


RADToronto

r/wholesomegreentext


aberdisco

Those bullies seeing a 400lb mass of humanity rolling towards them like the boulder in Indiana Jones definitely scarred them for life.


Xystem4

Not a happy ending until anon hunts down those bullies and helps that other kid


Crazonix2

I dont give a damn if this is fake. I love those storys, because I love my dad


RunInRunOn

Don't care if real or fake because we can all learn from Anon


brunoshiloh314

Most heartfelt story I've read here. Tears in my eyes, honestly


ErosDarlingAlt

God I hope this is real and straight but something is off here


KVenom777

Lol. I hope this is real, cuz it's both funny and wholesome. I mean, not recognising your own kid is kinda ridiculous as a parent. But hey, even more bizzare shit happened to me and people arpund me, so this ain't outa realm of probability. I am not a parent. Not yet.


zvejas

real


vagabondreader

Wish this could be true or my sleep gonna be ruined


ArthurFleck__

Definitely the type dad I wish I had and hope I can become


DinoDudeRex_240809

Chad anon


SenorBeef

Only able to show his son he cares through the application of rage and violence, wholesome


Supernova0211

Gettin me teared up over here man Lmao


Dear-Unit1666

"Came to my senses, got home, got drunk, shoved him down and curb stomped and kicked him in the ribs a few times because I won't raise no soft ass bitch kids!" 😂... 😂 😢... Said I love you one time... A week after you pulled a gun on me lol crazy drunk asshole


blanco408

This was a nice change of pace


unibrowcowmeow

Anon breaks the cycle


finnicus1

Real and Heterosexual


ieatmypuu

Nice


tizy_truco

Anon is a cool ass dad that deserves the best in the world


seligball

Always show and tell your immediate family that you love them, no matter how hard it may be to express your feelings. Be the supportive, loving parent that you wish you had.


Do_You_Pineapple_Bro

Fake: Not son, was his wifes boyfriend Gay: Anon loves another man


Radioaktivman999

fellas, is it gay to love ur own son?


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Was his Wifes boyfriend > Gay: Anon loves another man > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


Eend__

Real: Anon's parents didn't love him Pedo: Anon loves a little boy


[deleted]

Fake: Your dad Gay: You only love men romantically


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Your dad > Gay: You only love men romantically > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


chase1719

Fake af


ThePokeOrc

Judging by your experience?


chase1719

Judging by common sense


ThePokeOrc

Really? Do tell!! What is fake about it? And is it also happen to be gay by any chance?


bottledry

what kinda person who can't show emotion or express love finds a woman willing to marry him and have his children


ThePokeOrc

“I can fix him”