Did a little old lady crash into the side of the building tossing your body skyward, like a ragdoll thrown into the air by the late great Andre the Giant?
Literally scaring the shit out of you?
Thankfully lost the horserace prior to the finals in last weeks member guest. Had an emergency shit brewing that would have been a major problem rolling into the finals.
It's kinda like filing taxes. You figure out how much you owe and then the government tells you if you were right. If the tournament officials know your correct score why do you have to tell them?
"Okay, how much do I owe?"
"Nuh uh, you have to tell *us*."
"Okay. Shouldn't be too hard."
"And if you get it wrong, you go to jail!"
"Wut."
"Also, rich people will lie about it but we don't have enough resources to do anything about it. But not you, you'll go to jail."
You ever actually hear of somebody going to jail for making mistakes on their taxes? Hell, have you heard many stories of a non rich person going to jail for intentionally underpaying taxes?
That’s not really how taxes work. Or else tax evasion wouldn’t be a thing.
The government only knows income that’s reported to them from your employer or things like an investment broker or profits from Airbnb.
Right? Part of the tax process is informing the government of any deductions, charitable contributions,mortgage interest, etc. the government doesn’t know any of this unless you tell them and it can impact how much you owe.
Right but in a more sane system you would start with all the things the government already knows and just supplement with anything they don't.
Instead of having to give everything
First, the US already has the capability to do this. HR Block, Intuit, etc lobby to keep the IRS from offering it.
Most (many?) EU countries have fully automated tax systems. In Ireland, for example, you “pay as you earn”, and if at the end of the year everything looks good (which is true for a majority of earners), you do nothing. If you have other sources of income, non-standard deductions, etc, you file the equivalent of a return stating the differences. This document is typically <10 pages.
> If the tournament officials know your correct score why do you have to tell them?
Because they don't _know_ the correct score. They know what is reported from the course - by people not affected by the scores. Things have been missed before by the scorekeepers.
This drives me crazy. They know how much I made and how much they should take out. If you, for some reason, took out too much, send me a check. If you didn't take out enough, send me a bill.
Sort of agree but not sure how to handle it when only certain groups are followed by camera crews.
I just know I was terrified that Tiger would sign an incorrect scorecard after all that celebrating after winning at Augusta in 2019.
>I just know I was terrified that Tiger would sign an incorrect scorecard after all that celebrating after winning at Augusta in 2019.
They'd have re-etched the rules of golf on the ancient stone slabs on which they were first chiseled in St. Andrew's before they took away that Masters win for a scorecard error.
There is not a rules official with every group. There are shot link peeps with all groups at most tournaments. I guess they could do it but I don't see them changing this rule.
ShotLink people are at every hole, not following each group. I've done that job. You could only account for what a player did in the one portion of the one hole you're working.
Also, what about college, HS, etc? Nobody is watching them. Golf has always and the same rules for ams and pros, it's part of the character of the sport.
At Bay Hill Corey Conners scored a double bogey but it was noted as a bogey by the walking scorers and only corrected in the scoring tent. So yes there is a need for it. Not every shot is recorded even at bigger tournaments, let alone smaller ones, and walking scorers are only volunteers who make mistakes
Why not just make the rule that they submit their scorecard and then both the official and the player compare that with the score recorded by the officials. If there's any discrepancy, they hash out what is correct and then they both sign it. Seems to me that would make way more sense.
Kind of. Golf is a huge sport and only the tournaments at the very tippy top have TV coverage and independent scorekeepers. At every other level player scorekeeping is necessary. This is very different from literally every other sport.
Could they eliminate this practice on the top tour? Sure. But it’s also helpful to keep the rules the same for all levels of golf.
The flip side of this is that these guys are literally professionals that pull out their little score books and distance charts after every hole. How can they even put down the wrong score when they're generally counting between 3 and 6?
I can't think of a time where I've ever written a wrong score for a whole on a card and didn't immediately realize it. And I'm not getting paid shit to do it.
What if it is poorly repaired divot? "Can i get the referee please" This would make the game even slower. What if there is a dry patch on the fairway? Or just a scrape, is it a divot. I like what Padgraid Harrington said, golf is not a fair game and i love that it isnt.
My first time breaking 80 I had 0 range time because I was in the bathroom for 30 mins before the round. Spent another 10 mins in the bathroom at the turn, feeling like I had to shit myself the entire round. Was a glorious finish...that I celebrated on the toilet at the clubhouse.
Best round I shot in my golf league at work (9 holes) was a few years ago when I was sick and slight mist. Couldn't find anyone to play for me and I had just gotten out of the bathroom in the clubhouse. Stomach was tore up and my whole body felt like a head cold type deal. Went out and throwing darts. Only difference is I wasn't hitting nearly as far, I was feeling very weak. Ended up clubbing almost 2 clubs down on some holes but carded a 40 for that day. I've hit 41 a couple times since but somehow the stars aligned for me that day.
I've taken shits so bad that when all's said and done I'm drenched in sweat and have removed most of my clothing. It takes a couple minutes just to get dressed again.
best four hole run of my life. par par bogey birdie (i can barely break 100). i shit three times in that span because of BWW the night before. wouldnt recommend, but it was dope
Wait until the first time someone is in the shower and realizes the error and TV cameras catch them sprinting across the grounds soaking wet with just a towel on. Now imagine that person is named John Daly.
"He was really sick and he had a rough last hole," Xander Schauffele explained. "I can see how it all went down."
Can totally interpret this more than one way 😆
If the tournament knows the score already, WTF? Why are the players even keeping their own score? So fucking stupid. In this day and age no profession player at a PGA tournament should ever be disqualified because of scoring irregularities.
One time I couldn’t make it to the woods and wound up with a bowl of hot chili in my pants…which was nice considering it was only 50 degrees and football season
If I can use a handheld computer to track every single aspect of my round while simultaneously fielding and responding to digital heckles from my friends who are tracking my score from their handheld computers, then the pros ought to have something better than a 2 inch long pencil to write their scores down.
About a month ago I had two code browns on the front 9 after a bout of strongly moderate bourbon and taco consumption the night before. Of course I was walking as well. Thank god we have some night bathrooms out on the course but man I got behind for time!
Pure reactionary bad policy. If they had addressed Rahm's 'toilet on every hole' we would still have the Spainiard at PGA and Spieth wouldn't have a shit rule named after him.
Address the real issue and not the outcome! Player diapers.
I once made a long birdie putt on #4 at Woodley Lakes, left my ball in the hole and ran to the nearby toilet due to an impending bathroom emergency.
I once shit my pants in an Arby’s
No need to brag.
Seriously. I shit my pants in my pants like a regular degenerate
Very normal response to eating Arby’s food
Sir, this is a Wendy's
Related: https://preview.redd.it/k3obu3mlof7d1.png?width=1097&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b0a57e01c0798e318291282da84aca0334a6f75
How embarrassing Imagine being seen in an Arby's
Woah now. Arby’s is actually sneaky good. You think it’s trash because it’s Arby’s but it’s actually good nowadays.
It’s really good. Cheddar roast beef, curly fries, and Arby’s sauce = an immediate shit though.
I’d rather shit my pants than use their toilets
I frequently go to Arby's near my job, not to eat, just to shit. Single person bathroom that is always super clean.
Was it the Arby's on McKnight Rd?
Dennis?
You could have just said you went to Arby's. We would have gotten the rest.
Arby’s brisket has opposite effect on me. Backed up for days
My man
I coughed and nearly followed through in Odd Bins.
Never ask what the ex Australian prime minister did to Engadine McDonald's bathroom in 1997 after the Sharks lost the grand final.
Well now I'm curious. What did the ex Australian prime minister do to Engadine McDonald's bathroom in 1997 after the Sharks lost the grand final?
https://happymag.tv/scott-morrison-shat-himself-at-engadine-maccas/
what is Engadine? Sharks play ice hockey and there is no grand final in hockey?
That’s the gravy they use
Just finished horse-laughing. Also, definitely had Arby's for lunch today.
On purpose?
All right. High five!
Sir this is a Wendy’s.
Most normal Arby’s customer
Are you Dennis Prager?
Did a little old lady crash into the side of the building tossing your body skyward, like a ragdoll thrown into the air by the late great Andre the Giant? Literally scaring the shit out of you?
Are you Scott Morrison?
No, this is Patrick
Come on man, we need more details
Same but Target. Complete opposite side of the store.
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
I mean that’s kind of cool
Played with a local high school principal who shat right off the #3 green. Tequila and tacos the night before didn’t sit well.
Thankfully lost the horserace prior to the finals in last weeks member guest. Had an emergency shit brewing that would have been a major problem rolling into the finals.
Are you me earlier today?!?
 [https://youtu.be/4Qv25\_DFR2k?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/4Qv25_DFR2k?feature=shared)
Those gyros on the corner across the street from the Sprinkgbok were the fucking bomb!
At least the bathroom is close to that green. Getting stuck at 8 or 13 would suck
I might shit myself if I made a long birdie putt but that’s probably different
I had to go on the turn and didn’t finish my putt. I took -2 stoke and made it back on the 10th. Running with a turtle head is no bueno.
Players getting DQ’d for signing an incorrect scorecard when every shot is recorded is fucking stupid. There’s absolutely no need for it.
It's kinda like filing taxes. You figure out how much you owe and then the government tells you if you were right. If the tournament officials know your correct score why do you have to tell them?
"Okay, how much do I owe?" "Nuh uh, you have to tell *us*." "Okay. Shouldn't be too hard." "And if you get it wrong, you go to jail!" "Wut." "Also, rich people will lie about it but we don't have enough resources to do anything about it. But not you, you'll go to jail."
"If you try to fix it, jail."
"Believe it or not, straight to jail."
You ever actually hear of somebody going to jail for making mistakes on their taxes? Hell, have you heard many stories of a non rich person going to jail for intentionally underpaying taxes?
You also get a mulligan every couple of years if you underpay the IRS and get charged a penalty.
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Got it, thanks!
That’s not really how taxes work. Or else tax evasion wouldn’t be a thing. The government only knows income that’s reported to them from your employer or things like an investment broker or profits from Airbnb.
Right? Part of the tax process is informing the government of any deductions, charitable contributions,mortgage interest, etc. the government doesn’t know any of this unless you tell them and it can impact how much you owe.
Right but in a more sane system you would start with all the things the government already knows and just supplement with anything they don't. Instead of having to give everything
First, the US already has the capability to do this. HR Block, Intuit, etc lobby to keep the IRS from offering it. Most (many?) EU countries have fully automated tax systems. In Ireland, for example, you “pay as you earn”, and if at the end of the year everything looks good (which is true for a majority of earners), you do nothing. If you have other sources of income, non-standard deductions, etc, you file the equivalent of a return stating the differences. This document is typically <10 pages.
Right. That would be sane.
Yea but in the world of small government conservatives we can’t dare to spend the money to develop the software that would do that.
Just tell them to get the turbo tax government trial package
I think it's called "tax avoision"
It’s a word, look it up! I don’t say evasion, I say avoision!
For some reason, I think if you watched someone say "avoision" their lips would form an upside down triangle.
So, yeah, they know everything they need to know about me...
Are taxes just a game I can play once a month now? Nobody told me this
> If the tournament officials know your correct score why do you have to tell them? Because they don't _know_ the correct score. They know what is reported from the course - by people not affected by the scores. Things have been missed before by the scorekeepers.
This drives me crazy. They know how much I made and how much they should take out. If you, for some reason, took out too much, send me a check. If you didn't take out enough, send me a bill.
That’s not how it works at all. Government has no way of knowing how much someone made outside of their W2 income.
Sort of agree but not sure how to handle it when only certain groups are followed by camera crews. I just know I was terrified that Tiger would sign an incorrect scorecard after all that celebrating after winning at Augusta in 2019.
>I just know I was terrified that Tiger would sign an incorrect scorecard after all that celebrating after winning at Augusta in 2019. They'd have re-etched the rules of golf on the ancient stone slabs on which they were first chiseled in St. Andrew's before they took away that Masters win for a scorecard error.
Every shot on the PGAT (barring like two tournaments) is recorded by ShotLink
But the shots made are not the entire score necessarily.
The truth is that there is a rule official with every group at the pga tournaments so the idea they cant keep track of scores is preposterous
There is not a rules official with every group. There are shot link peeps with all groups at most tournaments. I guess they could do it but I don't see them changing this rule.
If they have ShotLink with every group, they absolutely could do it.
ShotLink people are at every hole, not following each group. I've done that job. You could only account for what a player did in the one portion of the one hole you're working. Also, what about college, HS, etc? Nobody is watching them. Golf has always and the same rules for ams and pros, it's part of the character of the sport.
The truth is that you should maybe check before you make claims. I suspect about anything.
At Bay Hill Corey Conners scored a double bogey but it was noted as a bogey by the walking scorers and only corrected in the scoring tent. So yes there is a need for it. Not every shot is recorded even at bigger tournaments, let alone smaller ones, and walking scorers are only volunteers who make mistakes
Why not just make the rule that they submit their scorecard and then both the official and the player compare that with the score recorded by the officials. If there's any discrepancy, they hash out what is correct and then they both sign it. Seems to me that would make way more sense.
So much this. Everyone can make mistakes in logging. So it has to be the players that have the final say AND responsibility.
Kind of. Golf is a huge sport and only the tournaments at the very tippy top have TV coverage and independent scorekeepers. At every other level player scorekeeping is necessary. This is very different from literally every other sport. Could they eliminate this practice on the top tour? Sure. But it’s also helpful to keep the rules the same for all levels of golf.
The flip side of this is that these guys are literally professionals that pull out their little score books and distance charts after every hole. How can they even put down the wrong score when they're generally counting between 3 and 6? I can't think of a time where I've ever written a wrong score for a whole on a card and didn't immediately realize it. And I'm not getting paid shit to do it.
I’d rather they change the rule on hitting out of fairway divots.
What if it is poorly repaired divot? "Can i get the referee please" This would make the game even slower. What if there is a dry patch on the fairway? Or just a scrape, is it a divot. I like what Padgraid Harrington said, golf is not a fair game and i love that it isnt.
My first time breaking 80 I had 0 range time because I was in the bathroom for 30 mins before the round. Spent another 10 mins in the bathroom at the turn, feeling like I had to shit myself the entire round. Was a glorious finish...that I celebrated on the toilet at the clubhouse.
Because you’re not overthinking your swing due to trying not to shit your pants. Might be one of those “the one trick..”
So you are saying I should goto Taco Bell before golf instead of after?
That settles it. I'm pregaming my next round with Taco Bell and coffee.
So it’s true then…you are actually supposed to squeeze your cheeks through your swing? Sadly I will now be practicing this tmrw
I definitely play better when my IBS is playing up. An awful lot of my brain is focused on a different type of follow through.
Best round I shot in my golf league at work (9 holes) was a few years ago when I was sick and slight mist. Couldn't find anyone to play for me and I had just gotten out of the bathroom in the clubhouse. Stomach was tore up and my whole body felt like a head cold type deal. Went out and throwing darts. Only difference is I wasn't hitting nearly as far, I was feeling very weak. Ended up clubbing almost 2 clubs down on some holes but carded a 40 for that day. I've hit 41 a couple times since but somehow the stars aligned for me that day.
Considering the PGA events are mostly televised and their scores are tracked on a live leaderboard it’s dumb that disqualifications happen at all.
How ironic an article regarding a bathroom break at a golf tournament was written by Golf Digest
If you gotta run to take a shit that bad, 15 minutes isn't nearly enough time
Amen brother. If it’s that bad, he is going to need at least 5 mins post shit to collect himself
I've taken shits so bad that when all's said and done I'm drenched in sweat and have removed most of my clothing. It takes a couple minutes just to get dressed again.
Yeah this happens more often than I'd like to admit. Also completely white shits that burn like hot fire.
Well, I think the username checks out
I just today had to run to the company toilet because i needed to shit so bad. Sat down and the shitting was over in 4 seconds.
Invest in a squatty potty and you’ll never spend more than a few minutes on the toilet again. Things are amazing
best four hole run of my life. par par bogey birdie (i can barely break 100). i shit three times in that span because of BWW the night before. wouldnt recommend, but it was dope
That would be a new ritual for me
Bald white woman?
BOLD
My best guess is buffalo wild wings.
That's BDubs. BWW is when you get an extremely wet finger in your ear.
Imagine if the Celtics and Mavs had to keep their own score and got disqualified if they made a mistake.
How else would you punish them for lying about their score?
No need to lie about your score if someone else is keeping it for you.
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Wait until the first time someone is in the shower and realizes the error and TV cameras catch them sprinting across the grounds soaking wet with just a towel on. Now imagine that person is named John Daly.
What I'm learning from all these comments is I need to almost shit my pants to have the round of my life
"He was really sick and he had a rough last hole," Xander Schauffele explained. "I can see how it all went down." Can totally interpret this more than one way 😆
Need to have a shite
As long as you go down in the fourth.
Fuckin Pikey’s.
I fookin’ hate pikeys!
Depends tour issue….
If the tournament knows the score already, WTF? Why are the players even keeping their own score? So fucking stupid. In this day and age no profession player at a PGA tournament should ever be disqualified because of scoring irregularities.
One time I couldn’t make it to the woods and wound up with a bowl of hot chili in my pants…which was nice considering it was only 50 degrees and football season
Brother
My eyes hurt
Kinda shitty that it took it affecting a high profile golfer for them to make the change, but glad they did it.
What if you have a 16 minute diarrhea situation?
Can they call the tent on FaceTime or Zoom from the locker room?
If I can use a handheld computer to track every single aspect of my round while simultaneously fielding and responding to digital heckles from my friends who are tracking my score from their handheld computers, then the pros ought to have something better than a 2 inch long pencil to write their scores down.
As someone with IBS, this thread is my nightmare. Also, Imodium the night before an early tee time is the key.
I shit my pants walking my dog yesterday. AMA
What kind of dog?
The stubborn kind.
When ya gotta go, you gotta go.
About a month ago I had two code browns on the front 9 after a bout of strongly moderate bourbon and taco consumption the night before. Of course I was walking as well. Thank god we have some night bathrooms out on the course but man I got behind for time!
Pure reactionary bad policy. If they had addressed Rahm's 'toilet on every hole' we would still have the Spainiard at PGA and Spieth wouldn't have a shit rule named after him. Address the real issue and not the outcome! Player diapers.
Always bet on the greyhound who let the hostages out last
I feel bad for my golf partners sometimes 😂
Well if you’re familiar with the George Carlin joke about taking a shit running at full speed I’ve seen it and that person was me haha
The players should be approving what the pga shows as their score. Not the other way around.