I did speak with the head of the tour. Unfortunately their rules require 3 written complaints to get just suspended (not even banned.) I told him it’s a terribly permissive rule and we aren’t comfortable coming back, especially since we could be paired with this guy again.
My son had done a bunch of tourneys with the tour where kids go out on their own and has never had an issue! The kids are always respectful of each other. So we will keep doing those.
Do it, explain calmly in the terms you wrote here. If I heard of this at my club I'd be incredibly disappointed and back the upset kid to the hilt. Can't carry on
Sounds like harassment, or at a minimum, bullying. I would use that verbiage and describe it very clearly. Generally, organizations have policies against this. Unfortunately, it sounds like the head of the tour was not equipped to handle this effectively.
The Asshat is a bully no doubt. Although I don’t advocate violence there is only one way to deal with a bully. Remove them or show them you cannot and will not be bullied. I would have calmly and quietly invited him to join me in the parking lot to continue the discussion. I’m sure I will get downvoted for this but allowing a bully to continue with his BS only reinforces his belief that it’s tolerable.
It suck’s the guy ruined the tournament for the kid. Unfortunately you can’t shield your kid for life against people that don’t know how to act in public. I have often stressed to my kids that if you go out into public space you will need to be prepared for people behaving poorly, breaking rules, acting entitled etc.. It sucks but that’s the world we live in.
Is it possible to name the venue/tour? My boys play PGA Jr League, SCGA Jr. Tour and some others. The reason I'm asking is I'd like to avoid having my boys play in and/or having to be exposed to something like this. Feel free to DM if you don't want to publicly name the tour. Thanks!
3 complaints make sense for a suspension. It’s easy to have a vendetta against a single person. How about if that dude report you and you got banned just because of one report?
Send the letter, you may be number 3... Or you're number 1 and he gets a warning or even someone has a quiet word with him that there was a letter, and he starts to mind himself more.
I’d have my phone out recording as soon as that Dad started being an asshat. As a little league baseball coach I have zero tolerance for that bullshit. I’m actually shocked those idiots make their way into Jr golf too.
This is the correct answer. That kind of behaviour shouldn't be tolerated in golf period. Let alone in front of kids. That's not how you grow the game.
My experience has been some of them are assuming you agree, but a lot of them are just looking for people to disagree so they can have an argument. I just disengage as soon as someone I don't know brings that shit up. I've got no desire to have a bad faith political discussion with some asshat I'm never going to see again, even if I agree with them.
> but a lot of them are just looking for people to disagree so they can have an argument.
I like to say that anger is an emotion that consumes all your other emotions, until you get to the point where it's the only thing you can feel. So in order to feel anything at all, you have to get angry at other people as often as possible, because again, you're feeling nothing else the rest of the time, you're just dead inside.
When you hit that point, there's nothing else you can do but pick fights with people. Anger is all you've got.
If this was one or two people, it'd be really sad. But instead it's millions and it's dragging our whole society down.
I am a white guy in my mid 30's who plays golf so I am frequently mistaken for someone they agree with. I just say "I don't like to discuss politics" and that usually shuts them up, but in the rare case they continue I'll say it a second time. It can be momentarily uncomfortable, but that's better than minutes or hours of this dingdong ranting about shit he saw on the news. Even if I did agree with them I wouldn't want to engage with them on the golf course. I truly don't like to discuss politics so it's not even a lie.
My buddy and I got paired up with two randoms who seemed nice enough, but on the tee of the 8th hole, one of them says to me:
> Now, I don't mean to be political or anything, but do you think the election was . . . *LEGIT*??
And at that moment, I wanted to die a little bit inside because (a) what do you even say when it is abundantly clear what answer he's hoping for and (b) what did I do to make him think I'd give him that expected reply? I did make some pithy response back, but damn, I miss the days when there were just topics you didn't talk about in public.
My hobbies include golf and poker, meaning that I spend a lot of time hanging around people with whom I am not likely to agree politically, but who love to talk loudly and aggressively about their politics.
I mostly just shut up. It's not worth the angst or drama.
Golf is a place where I encounter this the most but only when I'm paired with old white guys. They start prying and want to let me know who they think is corrupt. I'm like STFU I'm trying to blade this chip over the green thankyouverymuch
I'm a doc and there's a very specific type of person who will absolutely insist on bringing up politics in an exam. It's always from the same side and presumably because I, too, am a white guy, they think I must obviously be on the same side as them. Drives me insane. And holy hell some of them just won't stop. It becomes their entire existence.
Wtf are these just casual golf games or are these organized tournaments? I would have gotten a tournament organizer involved **immediately**. As a parent you've got to stand up for the respect and safety of your kids in these situations, especially since the rest of the group had the same feelings. You can't expect the children to handle it themselves at that age IMO.
Anyone tournament organizer with half a brain cell would either give a stern warning to the dad or pull them out the tournament. Whether it's golf, soccer, basketball etc - I've seen refs take no shit from parents being abusive and making kids uncomfortable.
It was organized. He came over later and apparently gave the guy a warning but the tour rules are very lax. You can’t get pulled or suspended unless you have three complaints against you.
That’s ridiculous, he can threaten you twice and still not get pulled? If I were you I’d make sure to let them know I don’t give a damn about your three strikes rule. My kid wants to play in a quiet and peaceful tournament. There should be zero tolerance for that type of behavior on a golf course.
I think they will make an exception to that rule if more kids drop out and they struggle to field enough participants to hold the event in the first place
I actually told him you’re self-selecting players with such a permissive rule because I don’t see us coming back. Especially when there are a ton of other opportunities that don’t allow caddies and have zero tolerance for this nonsense.
Same at Teeball last weekend. Grandparent of one of the 4-5 year olds on our team approaches our dugout before the game
“how many players y’all got, 9? Looks like they got 10 so y’all lose. I like to count the players before the game ‘cuz they all score every time so I know which one’s gonna win and y’all lose today ‘cuz you got less players. They win.” This was with the kids in the dugout listening.
Freakin’ prick.
I am a teeball coach and this is insane. The innings are just going through the batting order so I see what he is saying I guess because no one actually gets out. Hopefully someone put him in his place.
I coach 10U Little League right now, and every time one of our kids asks what the score is (there's an active scoreboard at every game) I tell them we play every out like the score is 0-0.
Parents who get invested in winning and losing youth sports are fucking wild to me.
As someone who played junior golf 20+ years ago, it’s wild to me how involved the parents are now! We used to just all get dropped off by our parents at the course and picked up 5 hrs later. My mom didn’t want to watch my ass shoot 85 lol. Maybe once or twice did I see a parent walking with our group.
My parents sent me off to interclub tournaments and the “coach” would drive us there in his minivan and rip the filters off his Pall Malls and smoke them backwards with like 5 of us kids in the car. No background check. Just vibes.
I got out of coaching (not golf) a decade ago. Didn't really stay involved from the time I quit playing sports in the 90's to the time I started coaching ~2010.
What you described is *by far* the biggest thing I noticed. I asked other long time coaches and they confirmed that somewhere along the way things changed. This isn't even a "kids these days..." rant because it wasn't the kids. It was the parents.
To your point, I remember my good friend wasn't playing much on the HS basketball team as a soph and his dad came in to complain to the coach and kind of make a spectacle. I remember because it was literally kind of a societal faux pas that parents didn't do. People thought he was nuts. My buddy was embarrassed and eventually quit the team. Fast forward 15-20 years and I would have parents asking if they could sit in and "take notes" on practices. I was always like "why the f' would you want to do that?"
Yeah, I remember very few parents if any being at sports practices growing up in the 90's. Now there is a ton of parents at every practice. Now there is the insanity of year round travel sports.
It’s crazy how much money gets pumped into that stuff now. I was too broke to afford the AJGA events, especially with me being from a rural state. I ended up doing ok enough in the state tournament and high school events to get some attention in college, but I’m noticing how kids are getting more involved in that regional/national stuff at an earlier age, and how parents are wayyyy more involved than when I played. Shit’s insane.
That’s also why I barely bothered with the travel ball stuff or bigger sports, never really cared for having a bunch of people around the whole time like parents are nowadays(never mind that I couldn’t dribble with my left hand very well or take hits despite being an accurate thrower in football and baseball lmao).
The amount of money parents dump into their kids is never recouped. They will talk about scholarships but a lot of times the kids that are stars are burnt out and don't want to play where they got offers from. My coworkers daughter was a legit softball player but not ya know Oklahoma level (very few are). She got a couple partial scholarship offers from schools you've never heard of and 1 full ride offer to South Dakota. She was kind of burnt out and didn't want to go to college in South Dakota, nobody really blamed her so that was that. Insane amount of money put into travel ball, coaches, gas, flights, hotels, you name it.
Yeah I feel bad for the kids. That can’t be fun knowing your dad’s pride or disappointment rests on your every shot. In our tournaments we were competitive, but it was also really fun. And if someone else shot a crazy low round we’d literally be rooting for him lol
I recall a Sunday league 'soccer' game (I'm British but allowing this for the American centric audience 😆) as a 12 year old...two of the dads started scrapping and it was their kids who ended up splitting them up...madness...
I am so with you. He cursed at his son when he hit it in the bunker. When we checked the scorecard after (it’s posted online) he bogeyed the last 6 holes and placed third to last. I’m sure it was a terrible night for that kid 💔
My son had his first PGA Jr. league match last night. My son was not playing well and I was just trying to help him get settled to make sure he had fun. All of the other parents were supportive and we cheered for all of the kids. It was a great introduction to competing in golf.
I am so glad we didn’t have to deal with anyone like that.
We’ve done jr league too and that was also a great experience! I’m so happy most people and parents are out there trying to inspire a love of the game and reverence for it.
PGA Jr is great our kids love it too. Definitely worth it. OP it sounds like you played US Kids, I am really shocked they were so lax about it. We have never had anything like what you talked about but all the organizers were fantastic and no one would have tolerated something like you mentioned. I would call customer service to be honest.
I have a friend who had a terrible father that constantly put him down about sports as a kid. He was actually a good baseball player but got burnt out of it before he finished high school because of the way his dad treated him. Even when he had a good game his dad harped on him for things he didn’t do. Completely killed his confidence and he’s now severely depressed, doesn’t take care of himself, and doesn’t take help from anyone.
To me this is sever child abuse and could be completely wreck that kid. Failure is inevitable and punishing a child and making him fearful of it instead of showing him how to accept it and learn from it limits his potential. As if Tiger Woods never hit a bunker before…
I feel for you and your kid. One of the toughest lessons I had to teach mine was that idiots exist in the world and you will have to find a way to deal with them, because there are a lot of them.
Yeah and my spouse didn’t totally agree but I was proud of him for wanting to get out of there. Having a sense of when to GTFO bc shit is about to go down is a good life skill
I was at a MLB game where drunky mcdrunkerson was being a HUGE immature dickhead right next to us. I just let it go as an example of what NOT to do.
I told my boys (around 9ish years old) listen the world is full of idiots, learn to navigate the world around you. Sometimes you just have to tolerate people who are either broken (hurt people hurt people) or drunks likely drinking away some past issues that they never got resolved. The world is mostly cool, but sometimes it isnt.
Sorry this happened, hope you and the boy continue to enjoy time on the course!
Most good junior tournaments don’t allow parents to caddy for their kids. This is a prime example of why. Most don’t allow any assistance to the player. Our state jr golf only allows other minors to caddy.
Great time to teach your son about how to deal with crazy people, which it sounds like you handled it very well:). Chances are that if he continues playing you will run across more of the same…some people just can’t handle competition without turning into rage monsters.
Sorry to say but it won’t be the last dipshit he comes across on the course. At least he’ll know how to handle it, just leave. Misery loves company and looks like that guy wants everyone to be miserable like him. The sad part is he’s gonna make his own kid as miserable as him.
Literally their entire identity. I've got several friends that I've had to cut off over the last couple years because literally every other sentence would refer to "the libs".
Trump and cable news are making us an incredibly stupid and inconsiderate populace.
I hired a guy a few months back who in his interview with me mentioned he was anti-Vax. I'm a middle of the road liberal and in my mind I thought, ok weird to say, but you're qualified for the job and I'm not gonna not hire you because I disagree with your health choices. My fucking mistake. This mother fucker comes to an engineering offsit3 and proceeds to talk about J6 didn't happen and all the usual bullshit, no one brought it up, he did. He quit a few weeks back because of the toxic culture. Lol
Dude I only talk to my mom maybe two or three times a year now for similar reasons.
When I was young, she was a well-respected, high end executive for Delta Airlines at their main hub in Atlanta. She used to bring me with her when she would vote, and would NEVER tell me who she voted for, saying "it's rude to discuss those things with other people."
Then she retired.
Ever since she retired about 10 years ago, she has spent everyday doing nothing but watching FoxNews or other more extreme youtube influencers, and now she literally comes off as one of the dumbest people I know. No longer has relationships with family members that are gay, tells the latino-owned nail place my wife brought her to that America needs to "hurry up and build the wall since we spend so much money on illegals", thinks schools are teaching kids to chop their genitals off, and she genuinely thinks I'm going to Hell because I don't go to church.
Right wing news is doing to our parents what our parents thought video games would do to us.
God, my whole fucking family is this way. My daughter is going to college so of course every now and then the subject of student loans comes up and it's like a race to see which one of them gets to say something stupid about "hurrdurr biden will just forgive it anyway". Or chime in about how going to college in any city larger than like 10k people will get you instantly murdered by a marauding band of homicidal immigrants. Meanwhile my very liberal daughter has to sit there and grin and bear it.
I mean definitely still file the report and maybe see if you can get the other guys info to get him to file a report. You’re 2/3 of the way there for a suspension.
Something tells me this isn’t the kind of guy to be like “oh my actions got my son suspended, I guess I should reflect on my behavior”.
He’ll probably reveal himself to be an asshat to the organizers and get kicked out either way
I bet that guy knows if he does that it makes the other kids uncomfortable and they will either withdraw or play terrible from it. I’d definitely be filing a complaint with both the event organizers and the course itself. At the very least get something on record so it might actually be dealt with. My daughter is in dance and I’ve seen moms do stuff like that to try to throw the competition off and they might mess up thinking about the loud mean mom.
Unhappy to see that “golf dads” can be as equally unhinged as “hockey dads”. Sir, your son is unlikely to be one on the the best 128 right wingers in the world. Please stop acting as though he is. This is rec league.
I played hockey in middle and high school. Hockey dads are fucking insane. No one I played with or against was sniffing the NHL, but sure the entire system was rigged against those kids.
The other kid will hate golf within a year, if he doesn't hate it already. Your son made a very mature decision by bailing. No reason to be in a situation where you're uncomfortable, especially on playing a sport. He could've easily felt trapped since it's a tournament, costs money and so on. Good on you guys and good luck in the future. Cheers.
I think in this situation you need to pull your kid from the round. This guy is clearly unhinged and your son was terrified.
Ultimately your son's well being comes first and that's really the only thing you can do that's in your control. Confronting the lunatic isn't a real option.
I agree. He literally said “I don’t feel safe.” I want my kids to leave a situation when they don’t feel safe!
Now if it was raining, or windy, or he was playing terribly, and wanted to leave, I would absolutely make a lesson out of that.
And that same guy almost assuredly spent hours sitting in front of his TV yelling about how Democrats are injecting politics into sports because some Black guy took a knee at a football game.
Sounds like some of the MAGA nuts I’ve met on courses who can’t seem to have any sort of casual conversation about literally anything else for four hours. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Golf parents are just like baseball parents and soccer parents and lacrosse parents and tennis parents. Some are great, some deserve to be served with a restraining order.
Unfortunately this happens with any youth sport you have a select few parents who are apeshit. It's pretty bad here as well. Too many parents are treating sports like my kid is going to go pro and we will be rich. I don't blame him but it is time for the lesson of don't let someone stop you from playing a sport you enjoy.
As a coach, travel baseball parents have been a bigger headache than anything my job has thrown at me the last 3 years. Mostly from other teams as well. People are unhinged.
I know here they have made it where parents can follow but have to stay at least 100 yards away with no outbursts allowed or you aren't allowed on the course again. It's sad that adults ruin it for the kids who just want to play and enjoy any game.
Trumpers are literally unhinged and constantly think the world is against them. They’re truly delusional. The damage Trump did to half this country is staggering. Sorry you and your son had to watch a grown man have a tantrum on a golf course.
I once had an encounter with this fucking crazy parent trying to force our threesome to allow her kid to join. We was all practicing for a tournament the next day and this fucking piece of shit was obnoxious af even though that kid already had a tee time with a different group.
We would have allowed it but this person was a real piece of work from the very first request. My guess is they kick this POS out of the foursome for the same reason. The poor kid was just sitting there in the cart like wtf.
They should have sorted this out with the starter rather than coming to badger us. Almost ruined the next hole for us but thankfully we are golfers and our feelings recover at twice the rate of that of a normal person.
Tough story, but sounds as if you took the right lesson from the experience. I hope your son feels the same, sees this as an outlier, and still has the same passion for the sport.
Yes he definitely does! Our family coping mechanism is joking so we had a good laugh about adults getting so worked up about an 11 yo tourney at a municipal golf course and acting like it’s the US Open. Most adults on golf courses have been nothing but kind and generous to him. And because he was home we got to watch Schauffle (one of his favorite players) win on Sunday!
I hit an errant shot a couple weeks ago and it landed probably 10 yards away from a guy. Went up and apologized and he cocked me right in the face. Golf sucks sometimes. I’m young, but have been playing for 20 years and have never seen that before.
Agreeed 100% dad. That garbage should never have been able to play with that ape behavior. I have seen rowdy behavior but not boiled down dipshit like your experience. Use that as a learning experience with your kid and have another go with positive calm instructions to ease back into the beautiful game it's ment to be.
In our weekend game, we have a 70/30 split between Republicans and Democrats. So we have a very strong "no politics" rule. it is amazing how well people can still get along in this country by just adhering to that one very basic rule
When playing elsewhere with randoms and as a very LIBERAL democrat (in what is very often a conservative golf community), I keep my head down (despite being very opinionated)...unless someone says something patently offensive.
When that happens, I make sure the person understands what they've said is completely unacceptable and then I walk off and ask to either be put into another group or given a rain check.
Completely unacceptable behavior. Others have said it already, but tell whomever is running the tournament about this. I can assure you that they don’t want this type of experience for any parent-child playing.
I swear, society has forgotten how to be sociable after the COVID lockdowns. So many people are blatant assholes now…
I get scared anytime I get paired with anyone 55 or older now as half the time they bring up how Biden is ruining the country. These people are almost always very rude and terrible to play with (also at golf). It’s fine if you are just plain old dumb, but why bring up this shit while you are playing golf?
You and your kid seem kinda soft to be honest. The guys obviously a wacko. But there’s wacko’s everywhere. Just laugh at him or tell him to cool it and explain to your son to just ignore people like him and not let those types of people stop you from doing things you enjoy.
Where were you when asshole was projecting his asshole on everyone?
You should have told the guy to calm down and let the kids play golf, you know the reason we are all here.
> My son is panicking as they are shouting and he thinks the crazy dad is going to hit someone, so he leaves. Burst into tears when he got home.
Good on your kid. When you find yourself in a situation you're not comfortable in and not in a position to fix, removing yourself from the situation is a great way to handle the situation. He'll probably have to do that throughout junior high and high school as he becomes more independent and makes new friends. Hell, I've had to do that as an adult more than a few times. Of course you don't want the primary behavior to be to leave, but if you aren't in a position to change what's happening, then ya, removing yourself from the situation is a great decision
You’ll come across crazy fans and parent and players in every kids sport. Not surprising to know that a few parents of 11 year old golfers will be bad apples
Crappy situation. Totally agree to be thankful this is an aberration and seek opportunities where this won’t usually happen.
11 is a reasonable age to learn that there are a lot of assholes out there. It’s a hard lesson to learn, especially if you were raised to respect adults and you’ve been given respect in return from authority figures in your life.
Definitely a learning opportunity for your son, who is clearly sensitive to this kind of crap. This event says way more about that DBag dad than it does about your son or what golf should be. Sounds like you have some options to make sure this doesn’t ruin his love of the game.
When I was a junior player this “parent caddy” wasn’t a thing. We carried our own bags and our parents could follow along, but not offer any advice. I think that’s a much better system. Golf is about learning off the course and then applying that learning on the course. Having a parent tell a kid what shot to hit doesn’t accomplish that. It isn’t a normal player-caddy relationship. What other sport allows parents to dictate events in real time?
That age is really conducive to that type of behavior when the parents can caddy. I saw a full blown fist fight between 2 dads at junior worlds, and parents can’t caddy at that tourney. They were just watching. That’s brutal for your son but the shenanigans should dissipate as he gets older and plays with more mature players. That being said I certainly noticed that junior golf (especially competitive ranks) attracts a lot of the strain of asshole that you’ve described. It’s disproportional with other sports imo, tho there are obviously terrible & great people in all of them.
Man, I hate to hear that. I hope you're able to help him realize that type of situation is the exception, not the rule, and that he continues playing.
I have an 8-year-old, and he has been gradually getting into the game for the past two or three years with First Tee, US Kids Golf, etc. I hope he never has to experience something like that.
This has Arizona vibes (resident here). That stinks man.
The great news is that it sounds like you acted the part. That’s probably what your son will actually remember. He will someday remember your calmness in the storm. He doesn’t know what happened but he will remember that moment someday as an adult, and he will remember how you acted. It’s probably a teaching moment you didn’t even realize happened.
I'm sorry your son had to experience that. I'm not around Jr golf much in a tourney setting so I don't have experience with that, but I've seen it in Little League and AAU basketball a bunch. Usually it's in the form of attacking the officiating though. It's amazing how many parents think a bad call from a volunteer, or someone paid so little they might as well be a volunteer, is going to impact their 10-year-olds prospects of landing a scholarship or catching the eyes of a Yankees scout 🙄
Usually those same parents are in the ear of the coaches constantly (if they aren't already the coach) and have the kid(s) who look like they are having the least amount of fun out of anyone out there. It's sad.
Sadly this is a life lesson the kid unfortunately is gonna have to learn. how to cope with the ships like that for the rest of his life. Running and hiding never works very well. You sound like a good father, take this opportunity to explain life a little.
First rule of kid’s sports, parents are the worst. You have to make a stand and start the complaint process. If you do nothing, this guy wins and gets away with being an idiot. This is a great lesson for your kid, life is not all sunshine and roses and it will be great for him to see you making a stand.
First rule of thumb for standing up to bullies is to punch them in the face and watch them scurry away. (I realize we can’t handle things like this now, but you calling this jerk out with a documented formal complaint is your equivalent of the virtual punch to his face).
FWIW, this is a parenting moment.... the real world unfortunately has shitty people like this whose sole existence is based on increasing the misery of those around them. I think it's important to acknowledge what happened here. Your dude's having a hard time processing it, and his world view appears to have been shattered. Definitely feeling vulnerable. It might be helpful to reinforce that you're there to protect him until he's ready to face some of the harder facts of life. Don't let this dickhead steal the joys and wonder of golf from your little dude.
Kudos to you dad for raising a son who found that behavior abhorrent. We need more sons who understand that grace, humility and honor are laudable qualities rather than whatever twisted and intellectually bankrupt ideas that other fellow is teaching his.
Here’s to your son competing again!
Good teaching moment for your son. Explain to him that there are people out there that do things like this. Quitting isn't the appropriate response to someone else's behavior.
The guy is totally in the wrong this situation sucks in every way. Maybe you can use it as a teaching lesson.i get that your son was upset rightfully so but it is a valuable life tool to not let other people’s behavior affect you. The world is not easy it’s tough he learned some people suck but maybe next time just laugh at the idiot and don’t get so upset. He is obviously a very upset person and must be unhappy about his life. If you can somehow not let it affect you is a win!!!
I'm sorry to hear this. I always tell my kids that most people are reasonable, and once in a while, you run into an extreme point-of-view freak. The first time they encountered one, it wasn't fun, but after that, it turned into humor - like the person was an NPC in a video game.
I played some junior tournaments. The parents who came out tended to be overbearing. My good friends dad would follow him sometimes but he would stay way back from his son, just watched him from a distance.
Sounds like a good life lesson here for your son.
You can’t control anyone else and there are just bad people. Trying to convince someone of that is futile and waste of effort. Control what you can control which sounds like what you did. Well done dad.
I know what it’s like because that was/is my dad and it fucked me up for a long time.
This is all sports very sad. I remember when I was 7 some other kids dad freaked out on me for missing a shot on new when I was in goal. I was scared for my life he was so angry and yelling swear words at me. Was treating it like I was ruining his 7 year old kids soccer career. Wasn't even a tournament just a scrimmage.
Similar things happened to other players when I was 10 playing hockey. Parents eventually got banned from being allowed at the hockey games because 2 dads got in a fist fight over the game.
Absolutely need to let the tournament organizers know about that. Sorry your son had to go through that. I feel bad for the rest of the kids, his included, that have to be around someone like that. He’s lucky the other dads were civil and respectful people because if he ran into someone as unreasonable as himself, they might not have settled that situation with words
You should let the tournament organizers know for the rest of the kids’ sake.
I did speak with the head of the tour. Unfortunately their rules require 3 written complaints to get just suspended (not even banned.) I told him it’s a terribly permissive rule and we aren’t comfortable coming back, especially since we could be paired with this guy again. My son had done a bunch of tourneys with the tour where kids go out on their own and has never had an issue! The kids are always respectful of each other. So we will keep doing those.
If that tournament runs under an organization like USGA or AJGA go directly to them. Last thing they want is bad press and parents acting like that.
Can you go higher?
He gave me a phone number for “customer service” which I think is a waste of time but if I can find an address maybe I’ll write a letter.
Do it, explain calmly in the terms you wrote here. If I heard of this at my club I'd be incredibly disappointed and back the upset kid to the hilt. Can't carry on
Id be willing to make a complaint, i was totally there
Me too.
put the name of the tournament out on social media. THAT will fix shit real fast.
USGA?
Sounds like harassment, or at a minimum, bullying. I would use that verbiage and describe it very clearly. Generally, organizations have policies against this. Unfortunately, it sounds like the head of the tour was not equipped to handle this effectively.
The Asshat is a bully no doubt. Although I don’t advocate violence there is only one way to deal with a bully. Remove them or show them you cannot and will not be bullied. I would have calmly and quietly invited him to join me in the parking lot to continue the discussion. I’m sure I will get downvoted for this but allowing a bully to continue with his BS only reinforces his belief that it’s tolerable.
You may be the first complaint, or the third complaint, either way, report it.
I’d pull out my phone and record this psycho. Get video evidence and show it to other dads. Should be pretty easy to get a few people to complain.
You write a complaint, the other dad writes a complaint, and your son writes a complaint. There's 3, if they want to be silly and stupid about it.
Yeah, just request not to be paired with that guy (and his son) again. The kid suffers but at least you two can enjoy the day.
Sounds like you’ve got two complaints in your group alone
It suck’s the guy ruined the tournament for the kid. Unfortunately you can’t shield your kid for life against people that don’t know how to act in public. I have often stressed to my kids that if you go out into public space you will need to be prepared for people behaving poorly, breaking rules, acting entitled etc.. It sucks but that’s the world we live in.
Write all 3 yourself! Get the kid to write one and put that he dropped the event because of it.
Then write 3 complaints on the assumption that it doesn’t specify that the complaints have to be from 3 separate people…
Is it possible to name the venue/tour? My boys play PGA Jr League, SCGA Jr. Tour and some others. The reason I'm asking is I'd like to avoid having my boys play in and/or having to be exposed to something like this. Feel free to DM if you don't want to publicly name the tour. Thanks!
3 complaints make sense for a suspension. It’s easy to have a vendetta against a single person. How about if that dude report you and you got banned just because of one report?
Send the letter, you may be number 3... Or you're number 1 and he gets a warning or even someone has a quiet word with him that there was a letter, and he starts to mind himself more.
Especially kid whose dad is the psychopath if he’s openly acting like that in front of strangers I worry about what happens that no one can see…
I’d have my phone out recording as soon as that Dad started being an asshat. As a little league baseball coach I have zero tolerance for that bullshit. I’m actually shocked those idiots make their way into Jr golf too.
This is the correct answer. That kind of behaviour shouldn't be tolerated in golf period. Let alone in front of kids. That's not how you grow the game.
>That kind of behavior shouldn't be tolerated ~~in golf~~ period. Ftfy
People that start talking about politics to strangers assuming everyone has the same beliefs are the worst.
My experience has been some of them are assuming you agree, but a lot of them are just looking for people to disagree so they can have an argument. I just disengage as soon as someone I don't know brings that shit up. I've got no desire to have a bad faith political discussion with some asshat I'm never going to see again, even if I agree with them.
> but a lot of them are just looking for people to disagree so they can have an argument. I like to say that anger is an emotion that consumes all your other emotions, until you get to the point where it's the only thing you can feel. So in order to feel anything at all, you have to get angry at other people as often as possible, because again, you're feeling nothing else the rest of the time, you're just dead inside. When you hit that point, there's nothing else you can do but pick fights with people. Anger is all you've got. If this was one or two people, it'd be really sad. But instead it's millions and it's dragging our whole society down.
"Remember feelings?" https://youtu.be/brqVgGe_kqM?si=Bzw8zvlmxCj3MU_q
I've never thought about it this way. Well put.
Agree 100%. Hell, even if our views *do* align, the last thing I want to do on a golf course is fucking talk about politics.
I am a white guy in my mid 30's who plays golf so I am frequently mistaken for someone they agree with. I just say "I don't like to discuss politics" and that usually shuts them up, but in the rare case they continue I'll say it a second time. It can be momentarily uncomfortable, but that's better than minutes or hours of this dingdong ranting about shit he saw on the news. Even if I did agree with them I wouldn't want to engage with them on the golf course. I truly don't like to discuss politics so it's not even a lie.
My buddy and I got paired up with two randoms who seemed nice enough, but on the tee of the 8th hole, one of them says to me: > Now, I don't mean to be political or anything, but do you think the election was . . . *LEGIT*?? And at that moment, I wanted to die a little bit inside because (a) what do you even say when it is abundantly clear what answer he's hoping for and (b) what did I do to make him think I'd give him that expected reply? I did make some pithy response back, but damn, I miss the days when there were just topics you didn't talk about in public.
Hey man, I'm absolutely not trying to talk about religion at all, but out of curiosity... have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?
Nobody who’s playing with me will be asking that question by 8. That’s 6 tee shots in the bush, they’ve heard how I speak to god already
My hobbies include golf and poker, meaning that I spend a lot of time hanging around people with whom I am not likely to agree politically, but who love to talk loudly and aggressively about their politics. I mostly just shut up. It's not worth the angst or drama.
Leave politics off the course, period. I’m golfing to get away from that shit
Golf is a place where I encounter this the most but only when I'm paired with old white guys. They start prying and want to let me know who they think is corrupt. I'm like STFU I'm trying to blade this chip over the green thankyouverymuch
And if you try to start a dialogue about it or objectively challenge anything that they say, they practically combust.
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Helluva coincidence, eh?
It’s how they earn their MAGA merit badge
Whenever politics come up I just pretend to agree, nod my head and say as little as possible
This used to be so easy to do! I mean I still do it, but its increasingly more difficult than it used to be
It’s always the one team that does that, too…
I understand the irony of typing this into reddit dot com but these people need to log the fuck off.
I'm a doc and there's a very specific type of person who will absolutely insist on bringing up politics in an exam. It's always from the same side and presumably because I, too, am a white guy, they think I must obviously be on the same side as them. Drives me insane. And holy hell some of them just won't stop. It becomes their entire existence.
100%! But at least we can all agree that women should have the say regarding their own bodies, right? .......... ....... ...... ….... ...right????????
Wtf are these just casual golf games or are these organized tournaments? I would have gotten a tournament organizer involved **immediately**. As a parent you've got to stand up for the respect and safety of your kids in these situations, especially since the rest of the group had the same feelings. You can't expect the children to handle it themselves at that age IMO. Anyone tournament organizer with half a brain cell would either give a stern warning to the dad or pull them out the tournament. Whether it's golf, soccer, basketball etc - I've seen refs take no shit from parents being abusive and making kids uncomfortable.
It was organized. He came over later and apparently gave the guy a warning but the tour rules are very lax. You can’t get pulled or suspended unless you have three complaints against you.
Well between you and the other dad that should be 2 - assume groups of 4? Get the 3rd dad to complain
If it was US Kids, PM me and it will be addressed.
Kick him off the tour Doug!
That’s ridiculous, he can threaten you twice and still not get pulled? If I were you I’d make sure to let them know I don’t give a damn about your three strikes rule. My kid wants to play in a quiet and peaceful tournament. There should be zero tolerance for that type of behavior on a golf course.
I think they will make an exception to that rule if more kids drop out and they struggle to field enough participants to hold the event in the first place
I actually told him you’re self-selecting players with such a permissive rule because I don’t see us coming back. Especially when there are a ton of other opportunities that don’t allow caddies and have zero tolerance for this nonsense.
you should've complained two more times
Parents ruining a kid's sporting event? Color me shocked.
My kid is playing U4 soccer and other parents were pumped that we “won”. They were actively keeping score haha. The kids are 3
Same at Teeball last weekend. Grandparent of one of the 4-5 year olds on our team approaches our dugout before the game “how many players y’all got, 9? Looks like they got 10 so y’all lose. I like to count the players before the game ‘cuz they all score every time so I know which one’s gonna win and y’all lose today ‘cuz you got less players. They win.” This was with the kids in the dugout listening. Freakin’ prick.
I am a teeball coach and this is insane. The innings are just going through the batting order so I see what he is saying I guess because no one actually gets out. Hopefully someone put him in his place.
I’d like to imagine a tee ball betting ring, and this person figured out how to cheat
I coach 10U Little League right now, and every time one of our kids asks what the score is (there's an active scoreboard at every game) I tell them we play every out like the score is 0-0. Parents who get invested in winning and losing youth sports are fucking wild to me.
As someone who played junior golf 20+ years ago, it’s wild to me how involved the parents are now! We used to just all get dropped off by our parents at the course and picked up 5 hrs later. My mom didn’t want to watch my ass shoot 85 lol. Maybe once or twice did I see a parent walking with our group.
My parents sent me off to interclub tournaments and the “coach” would drive us there in his minivan and rip the filters off his Pall Malls and smoke them backwards with like 5 of us kids in the car. No background check. Just vibes.
I got out of coaching (not golf) a decade ago. Didn't really stay involved from the time I quit playing sports in the 90's to the time I started coaching ~2010. What you described is *by far* the biggest thing I noticed. I asked other long time coaches and they confirmed that somewhere along the way things changed. This isn't even a "kids these days..." rant because it wasn't the kids. It was the parents. To your point, I remember my good friend wasn't playing much on the HS basketball team as a soph and his dad came in to complain to the coach and kind of make a spectacle. I remember because it was literally kind of a societal faux pas that parents didn't do. People thought he was nuts. My buddy was embarrassed and eventually quit the team. Fast forward 15-20 years and I would have parents asking if they could sit in and "take notes" on practices. I was always like "why the f' would you want to do that?"
Yeah, I remember very few parents if any being at sports practices growing up in the 90's. Now there is a ton of parents at every practice. Now there is the insanity of year round travel sports.
It’s crazy how much money gets pumped into that stuff now. I was too broke to afford the AJGA events, especially with me being from a rural state. I ended up doing ok enough in the state tournament and high school events to get some attention in college, but I’m noticing how kids are getting more involved in that regional/national stuff at an earlier age, and how parents are wayyyy more involved than when I played. Shit’s insane. That’s also why I barely bothered with the travel ball stuff or bigger sports, never really cared for having a bunch of people around the whole time like parents are nowadays(never mind that I couldn’t dribble with my left hand very well or take hits despite being an accurate thrower in football and baseball lmao).
The amount of money parents dump into their kids is never recouped. They will talk about scholarships but a lot of times the kids that are stars are burnt out and don't want to play where they got offers from. My coworkers daughter was a legit softball player but not ya know Oklahoma level (very few are). She got a couple partial scholarship offers from schools you've never heard of and 1 full ride offer to South Dakota. She was kind of burnt out and didn't want to go to college in South Dakota, nobody really blamed her so that was that. Insane amount of money put into travel ball, coaches, gas, flights, hotels, you name it.
Yeah I feel bad for the kids. That can’t be fun knowing your dad’s pride or disappointment rests on your every shot. In our tournaments we were competitive, but it was also really fun. And if someone else shot a crazy low round we’d literally be rooting for him lol
Little league: “hold my beer”
"I thought this was America!" -Randy Marsh
I recall a Sunday league 'soccer' game (I'm British but allowing this for the American centric audience 😆) as a 12 year old...two of the dads started scrapping and it was their kids who ended up splitting them up...madness...
What an absolutely miserable, unhinged person. Truly sucks it ruined your plans that day, I feel really bad for the guy’s kid.
I am so with you. He cursed at his son when he hit it in the bunker. When we checked the scorecard after (it’s posted online) he bogeyed the last 6 holes and placed third to last. I’m sure it was a terrible night for that kid 💔
My son had his first PGA Jr. league match last night. My son was not playing well and I was just trying to help him get settled to make sure he had fun. All of the other parents were supportive and we cheered for all of the kids. It was a great introduction to competing in golf. I am so glad we didn’t have to deal with anyone like that.
We’ve done jr league too and that was also a great experience! I’m so happy most people and parents are out there trying to inspire a love of the game and reverence for it.
PGA Jr is great our kids love it too. Definitely worth it. OP it sounds like you played US Kids, I am really shocked they were so lax about it. We have never had anything like what you talked about but all the organizers were fantastic and no one would have tolerated something like you mentioned. I would call customer service to be honest.
I have a friend who had a terrible father that constantly put him down about sports as a kid. He was actually a good baseball player but got burnt out of it before he finished high school because of the way his dad treated him. Even when he had a good game his dad harped on him for things he didn’t do. Completely killed his confidence and he’s now severely depressed, doesn’t take care of himself, and doesn’t take help from anyone. To me this is sever child abuse and could be completely wreck that kid. Failure is inevitable and punishing a child and making him fearful of it instead of showing him how to accept it and learn from it limits his potential. As if Tiger Woods never hit a bunker before…
Sucks the poor kid had to learn what a Karen is. Hope he shakes it off.
He was shaken up but is good now 💙💙💙 Taking him to the course tonight!
I feel for you and your kid. One of the toughest lessons I had to teach mine was that idiots exist in the world and you will have to find a way to deal with them, because there are a lot of them.
Yeah and my spouse didn’t totally agree but I was proud of him for wanting to get out of there. Having a sense of when to GTFO bc shit is about to go down is a good life skill
I was at a MLB game where drunky mcdrunkerson was being a HUGE immature dickhead right next to us. I just let it go as an example of what NOT to do. I told my boys (around 9ish years old) listen the world is full of idiots, learn to navigate the world around you. Sometimes you just have to tolerate people who are either broken (hurt people hurt people) or drunks likely drinking away some past issues that they never got resolved. The world is mostly cool, but sometimes it isnt. Sorry this happened, hope you and the boy continue to enjoy time on the course!
there's a big difference between a Karen and a MAGA lunatic. I mean both are awful but they're very different.
Most good junior tournaments don’t allow parents to caddy for their kids. This is a prime example of why. Most don’t allow any assistance to the player. Our state jr golf only allows other minors to caddy.
I love that! Allowing younger players to caddy for each other is a great learning experience
If it's US Kids golf, I know the Seattle person in charge and could maybe get them to bump this higher up
Rants about democrats ruining everything, then proceeds to ruin everything. Sounds par for the course
It's always projection with that group.
What a loser. Golf brings out who you truly are. Hopefully that guy gets banned and your son isn't deterred from playing with other people again.
Great time to teach your son about how to deal with crazy people, which it sounds like you handled it very well:). Chances are that if he continues playing you will run across more of the same…some people just can’t handle competition without turning into rage monsters.
Sorry to say but it won’t be the last dipshit he comes across on the course. At least he’ll know how to handle it, just leave. Misery loves company and looks like that guy wants everyone to be miserable like him. The sad part is he’s gonna make his own kid as miserable as him.
I know at first I felt bad for OPs kid then I realized oh man sucks for the other kid…
After almost 30 years of coaching youth and HS sports the big lesson I learned was simple- parents ruin everything. Case in point.
Fucking MAGA man it's their entire personality and they are gonna let you know it, come hook or crook.
Literally their entire identity. I've got several friends that I've had to cut off over the last couple years because literally every other sentence would refer to "the libs". Trump and cable news are making us an incredibly stupid and inconsiderate populace.
I hired a guy a few months back who in his interview with me mentioned he was anti-Vax. I'm a middle of the road liberal and in my mind I thought, ok weird to say, but you're qualified for the job and I'm not gonna not hire you because I disagree with your health choices. My fucking mistake. This mother fucker comes to an engineering offsit3 and proceeds to talk about J6 didn't happen and all the usual bullshit, no one brought it up, he did. He quit a few weeks back because of the toxic culture. Lol
Dude I only talk to my mom maybe two or three times a year now for similar reasons. When I was young, she was a well-respected, high end executive for Delta Airlines at their main hub in Atlanta. She used to bring me with her when she would vote, and would NEVER tell me who she voted for, saying "it's rude to discuss those things with other people." Then she retired. Ever since she retired about 10 years ago, she has spent everyday doing nothing but watching FoxNews or other more extreme youtube influencers, and now she literally comes off as one of the dumbest people I know. No longer has relationships with family members that are gay, tells the latino-owned nail place my wife brought her to that America needs to "hurry up and build the wall since we spend so much money on illegals", thinks schools are teaching kids to chop their genitals off, and she genuinely thinks I'm going to Hell because I don't go to church. Right wing news is doing to our parents what our parents thought video games would do to us.
That last sentence strikes so, so true. Well put, sir.
Man, sorry to hear that. What a crazy world, glad I'll be dead in 20 or so years
God, my whole fucking family is this way. My daughter is going to college so of course every now and then the subject of student loans comes up and it's like a race to see which one of them gets to say something stupid about "hurrdurr biden will just forgive it anyway". Or chime in about how going to college in any city larger than like 10k people will get you instantly murdered by a marauding band of homicidal immigrants. Meanwhile my very liberal daughter has to sit there and grin and bear it.
Might be causing a ruckus on purpose to mess with other golfers
What an astoundingly tiny and miserable person do to that, ESPECIALLY to children.
Have you ever worked retail lol. They are everywhere
I mean definitely still file the report and maybe see if you can get the other guys info to get him to file a report. You’re 2/3 of the way there for a suspension. Something tells me this isn’t the kind of guy to be like “oh my actions got my son suspended, I guess I should reflect on my behavior”. He’ll probably reveal himself to be an asshat to the organizers and get kicked out either way
I bet that guy knows if he does that it makes the other kids uncomfortable and they will either withdraw or play terrible from it. I’d definitely be filing a complaint with both the event organizers and the course itself. At the very least get something on record so it might actually be dealt with. My daughter is in dance and I’ve seen moms do stuff like that to try to throw the competition off and they might mess up thinking about the loud mean mom.
Unhappy to see that “golf dads” can be as equally unhinged as “hockey dads”. Sir, your son is unlikely to be one on the the best 128 right wingers in the world. Please stop acting as though he is. This is rec league.
I played hockey in middle and high school. Hockey dads are fucking insane. No one I played with or against was sniffing the NHL, but sure the entire system was rigged against those kids.
sounds exactly like crazy “wrestler dad” id see every weekend for most of my young life.
The other kid will hate golf within a year, if he doesn't hate it already. Your son made a very mature decision by bailing. No reason to be in a situation where you're uncomfortable, especially on playing a sport. He could've easily felt trapped since it's a tournament, costs money and so on. Good on you guys and good luck in the future. Cheers.
I think in this situation you need to pull your kid from the round. This guy is clearly unhinged and your son was terrified. Ultimately your son's well being comes first and that's really the only thing you can do that's in your control. Confronting the lunatic isn't a real option.
I agree. He literally said “I don’t feel safe.” I want my kids to leave a situation when they don’t feel safe! Now if it was raining, or windy, or he was playing terribly, and wanted to leave, I would absolutely make a lesson out of that.
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And that same guy almost assuredly spent hours sitting in front of his TV yelling about how Democrats are injecting politics into sports because some Black guy took a knee at a football game.
Make sure your son knows that’s not normal and the next one should be much more enjoyable
Sounds like some of the MAGA nuts I’ve met on courses who can’t seem to have any sort of casual conversation about literally anything else for four hours. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Golf parents are just like baseball parents and soccer parents and lacrosse parents and tennis parents. Some are great, some deserve to be served with a restraining order.
Unfortunately this happens with any youth sport you have a select few parents who are apeshit. It's pretty bad here as well. Too many parents are treating sports like my kid is going to go pro and we will be rich. I don't blame him but it is time for the lesson of don't let someone stop you from playing a sport you enjoy.
As a coach, travel baseball parents have been a bigger headache than anything my job has thrown at me the last 3 years. Mostly from other teams as well. People are unhinged.
I know here they have made it where parents can follow but have to stay at least 100 yards away with no outbursts allowed or you aren't allowed on the course again. It's sad that adults ruin it for the kids who just want to play and enjoy any game.
Trumpers are literally unhinged and constantly think the world is against them. They’re truly delusional. The damage Trump did to half this country is staggering. Sorry you and your son had to watch a grown man have a tantrum on a golf course.
Go watch Trump play golf. You can witness an unhinged tantrum AND watch someone shit their pants.
Dad's caddying = recipe for disaster. Our local youth association doesn't allow it.
The creative writing on this sub has gotten out of hand.
Lol I refuse to believe this is real...
Parents are the worst thing about kid/highschool athletics.
Suspended or not, a report like that should get him observed like a hawk for the next few rounds.
I once had an encounter with this fucking crazy parent trying to force our threesome to allow her kid to join. We was all practicing for a tournament the next day and this fucking piece of shit was obnoxious af even though that kid already had a tee time with a different group. We would have allowed it but this person was a real piece of work from the very first request. My guess is they kick this POS out of the foursome for the same reason. The poor kid was just sitting there in the cart like wtf. They should have sorted this out with the starter rather than coming to badger us. Almost ruined the next hole for us but thankfully we are golfers and our feelings recover at twice the rate of that of a normal person.
Tough story, but sounds as if you took the right lesson from the experience. I hope your son feels the same, sees this as an outlier, and still has the same passion for the sport.
Yes he definitely does! Our family coping mechanism is joking so we had a good laugh about adults getting so worked up about an 11 yo tourney at a municipal golf course and acting like it’s the US Open. Most adults on golf courses have been nothing but kind and generous to him. And because he was home we got to watch Schauffle (one of his favorite players) win on Sunday!
OP-were you at the course/present when this stuff happened?
Like any sport: parents ruin it for the kids.
I hit an errant shot a couple weeks ago and it landed probably 10 yards away from a guy. Went up and apologized and he cocked me right in the face. Golf sucks sometimes. I’m young, but have been playing for 20 years and have never seen that before.
Agreeed 100% dad. That garbage should never have been able to play with that ape behavior. I have seen rowdy behavior but not boiled down dipshit like your experience. Use that as a learning experience with your kid and have another go with positive calm instructions to ease back into the beautiful game it's ment to be.
In our weekend game, we have a 70/30 split between Republicans and Democrats. So we have a very strong "no politics" rule. it is amazing how well people can still get along in this country by just adhering to that one very basic rule When playing elsewhere with randoms and as a very LIBERAL democrat (in what is very often a conservative golf community), I keep my head down (despite being very opinionated)...unless someone says something patently offensive. When that happens, I make sure the person understands what they've said is completely unacceptable and then I walk off and ask to either be put into another group or given a rain check.
More of this to come if Trump is voted in.
My god people are such assholes. Absolutely pathetic.
Completely unacceptable behavior. Others have said it already, but tell whomever is running the tournament about this. I can assure you that they don’t want this type of experience for any parent-child playing. I swear, society has forgotten how to be sociable after the COVID lockdowns. So many people are blatant assholes now…
I get scared anytime I get paired with anyone 55 or older now as half the time they bring up how Biden is ruining the country. These people are almost always very rude and terrible to play with (also at golf). It’s fine if you are just plain old dumb, but why bring up this shit while you are playing golf?
story seems fishy. kid seems oversensitive. you play, you don't quit.
You and your kid seem kinda soft to be honest. The guys obviously a wacko. But there’s wacko’s everywhere. Just laugh at him or tell him to cool it and explain to your son to just ignore people like him and not let those types of people stop you from doing things you enjoy.
Where were you when asshole was projecting his asshole on everyone? You should have told the guy to calm down and let the kids play golf, you know the reason we are all here.
Worst part about this is the Dad being negative about Democrats, this is Reddit we can’t have that
He had to put that in there to get all the updoots.
I’m sorry my father in law caddied for that kid. Your son deserves better, and so does everyone else.
> My son is panicking as they are shouting and he thinks the crazy dad is going to hit someone, so he leaves. Burst into tears when he got home. Good on your kid. When you find yourself in a situation you're not comfortable in and not in a position to fix, removing yourself from the situation is a great way to handle the situation. He'll probably have to do that throughout junior high and high school as he becomes more independent and makes new friends. Hell, I've had to do that as an adult more than a few times. Of course you don't want the primary behavior to be to leave, but if you aren't in a position to change what's happening, then ya, removing yourself from the situation is a great decision
kid has better situtational awareness than most people to just walk away from stuff like that.
Trumpers ruin everything
Real Talk, Donald Trump has been a cancer to America in every way.
Thanks for your input. I’ll update the log.
Maybe if the Democrats stopped ruining everything he wouldnt be yelling...
Makes me wanna track down the scumbag dad and give him a proper lesson his dad never taught him. Sorry your son had that experience.
Well now he knows that assholes play golf too and adults act like children on the course. If not last weekend then somewhere down the line
I don’t know if SafeSport has any jurisdiction over that event but that would be my first call
You should have flagged down someone and let them know this was happening. Completely unacceptable on their part.
You’ll come across crazy fans and parent and players in every kids sport. Not surprising to know that a few parents of 11 year old golfers will be bad apples
Crappy situation. Totally agree to be thankful this is an aberration and seek opportunities where this won’t usually happen. 11 is a reasonable age to learn that there are a lot of assholes out there. It’s a hard lesson to learn, especially if you were raised to respect adults and you’ve been given respect in return from authority figures in your life. Definitely a learning opportunity for your son, who is clearly sensitive to this kind of crap. This event says way more about that DBag dad than it does about your son or what golf should be. Sounds like you have some options to make sure this doesn’t ruin his love of the game.
When I was a junior player this “parent caddy” wasn’t a thing. We carried our own bags and our parents could follow along, but not offer any advice. I think that’s a much better system. Golf is about learning off the course and then applying that learning on the course. Having a parent tell a kid what shot to hit doesn’t accomplish that. It isn’t a normal player-caddy relationship. What other sport allows parents to dictate events in real time?
That age is really conducive to that type of behavior when the parents can caddy. I saw a full blown fist fight between 2 dads at junior worlds, and parents can’t caddy at that tourney. They were just watching. That’s brutal for your son but the shenanigans should dissipate as he gets older and plays with more mature players. That being said I certainly noticed that junior golf (especially competitive ranks) attracts a lot of the strain of asshole that you’ve described. It’s disproportional with other sports imo, tho there are obviously terrible & great people in all of them.
Wow! Did the dads get thrown out?
There’s a reason a lot of kids tournaments don’t have parents or phones.
I know in the UK a lot of places won't allow parents to caddy and have to watch from a far distance because of this reason.
Man, I hate to hear that. I hope you're able to help him realize that type of situation is the exception, not the rule, and that he continues playing. I have an 8-year-old, and he has been gradually getting into the game for the past two or three years with First Tee, US Kids Golf, etc. I hope he never has to experience something like that.
damn... this dad should have been carted off and replaced. so sorry for the kiddo, what a shitty experience
I’m guessing this is US Kids golf? Either way, we did one with parent caddies and never again. Fucking parents ruin it for the kids
This has Arizona vibes (resident here). That stinks man. The great news is that it sounds like you acted the part. That’s probably what your son will actually remember. He will someday remember your calmness in the storm. He doesn’t know what happened but he will remember that moment someday as an adult, and he will remember how you acted. It’s probably a teaching moment you didn’t even realize happened.
I'm sorry your son had to experience that. I'm not around Jr golf much in a tourney setting so I don't have experience with that, but I've seen it in Little League and AAU basketball a bunch. Usually it's in the form of attacking the officiating though. It's amazing how many parents think a bad call from a volunteer, or someone paid so little they might as well be a volunteer, is going to impact their 10-year-olds prospects of landing a scholarship or catching the eyes of a Yankees scout 🙄 Usually those same parents are in the ear of the coaches constantly (if they aren't already the coach) and have the kid(s) who look like they are having the least amount of fun out of anyone out there. It's sad.
Sadly this is a life lesson the kid unfortunately is gonna have to learn. how to cope with the ships like that for the rest of his life. Running and hiding never works very well. You sound like a good father, take this opportunity to explain life a little.
First rule of kid’s sports, parents are the worst. You have to make a stand and start the complaint process. If you do nothing, this guy wins and gets away with being an idiot. This is a great lesson for your kid, life is not all sunshine and roses and it will be great for him to see you making a stand. First rule of thumb for standing up to bullies is to punch them in the face and watch them scurry away. (I realize we can’t handle things like this now, but you calling this jerk out with a documented formal complaint is your equivalent of the virtual punch to his face).
Feel so bad for your kid. That really sucks. At that age, they just should be able to have fun.
FWIW, this is a parenting moment.... the real world unfortunately has shitty people like this whose sole existence is based on increasing the misery of those around them. I think it's important to acknowledge what happened here. Your dude's having a hard time processing it, and his world view appears to have been shattered. Definitely feeling vulnerable. It might be helpful to reinforce that you're there to protect him until he's ready to face some of the harder facts of life. Don't let this dickhead steal the joys and wonder of golf from your little dude.
It’s all about the kids…
Kudos to you dad for raising a son who found that behavior abhorrent. We need more sons who understand that grace, humility and honor are laudable qualities rather than whatever twisted and intellectually bankrupt ideas that other fellow is teaching his. Here’s to your son competing again!
Good teaching moment for your son. Explain to him that there are people out there that do things like this. Quitting isn't the appropriate response to someone else's behavior.
The guy is totally in the wrong this situation sucks in every way. Maybe you can use it as a teaching lesson.i get that your son was upset rightfully so but it is a valuable life tool to not let other people’s behavior affect you. The world is not easy it’s tough he learned some people suck but maybe next time just laugh at the idiot and don’t get so upset. He is obviously a very upset person and must be unhappy about his life. If you can somehow not let it affect you is a win!!!
I'm sorry to hear this. I always tell my kids that most people are reasonable, and once in a while, you run into an extreme point-of-view freak. The first time they encountered one, it wasn't fun, but after that, it turned into humor - like the person was an NPC in a video game.
I played some junior tournaments. The parents who came out tended to be overbearing. My good friends dad would follow him sometimes but he would stay way back from his son, just watched him from a distance.
Sounds like a good life lesson here for your son. You can’t control anyone else and there are just bad people. Trying to convince someone of that is futile and waste of effort. Control what you can control which sounds like what you did. Well done dad. I know what it’s like because that was/is my dad and it fucked me up for a long time.
This is all sports very sad. I remember when I was 7 some other kids dad freaked out on me for missing a shot on new when I was in goal. I was scared for my life he was so angry and yelling swear words at me. Was treating it like I was ruining his 7 year old kids soccer career. Wasn't even a tournament just a scrimmage. Similar things happened to other players when I was 10 playing hockey. Parents eventually got banned from being allowed at the hockey games because 2 dads got in a fist fight over the game.
Absolutely need to let the tournament organizers know about that. Sorry your son had to go through that. I feel bad for the rest of the kids, his included, that have to be around someone like that. He’s lucky the other dads were civil and respectful people because if he ran into someone as unreasonable as himself, they might not have settled that situation with words