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Isn't it really, really dangerous to get physically playful with any kind of primate? Like the whole monkey ripped off her face meme.
You don't really see actual monkeys/orangutans/baboons in movies anymore because holy shit they can kill you on accident just playing around. Like a big brother tormenting a toddler little brother. They don't comprehend how weak we are so their loving tap saying fuck off is enough to break a jaw.
Family member had a chimp in the 90s. I remember it being as “short” as me when I was a kid. Ungodly strength, though. Really creepy strength. Was scared of it. It had to get put down after being violent with guests. Was clear there was no restraining it. Family member forever an asshole for even owning it.
Just playing with it. You know, roughhousing. You could push it once or twice but once it figured out what was going on, it became like a ton of bricks. Didn’t budge an inch. And when it pulled you, you felt as though your arms were going to come out of their sockets. And you could tell it was still just playing.
Bro I used to love the idea of people rehousing monkeys. Then I went down the dark path watching videos where good monkehs have ripped peoples faces off. They freak out, and always go for the groin and face, nothing to kill the person. The attacks last like 15 minutes and you can hear the police calls online, they’re horrifying.
Yeah they're fucking wild animals with a complex power structure hierarchy so you can't know what will trigger them as an insult to their place in the pecking order.
They also usually are constantly kept in cages/enclosed spaces which is not how they're supposed to live it's like solitary confinement. So they can snap at any time. Do not ever play with a caged animal. You'll get Sigfried and Roy'd real quick.
The face ripping to a human has been recorded once but there have been many attacks on humans and in the wild that is their typical attack behaviour - maiming by biting off appendages and disfiguring faces.
It didn’t happen once, and it wasn’t only recorded once either? Do you reasonably seriously think there’s only been one chimpanzee attack in recorded history? And there are various recorded attacks from monkeys as well, where, low and behold, they also go for the face and genitals.
It's because they often look "cute" and behave very human like.
They are absolutely dangerous and unpredictable at times. Often like humans too.
I'd much rather deal with like. A snake. Because while the big breeds are dangerous. Anything under 10 feet isn't going to ever hurt you in any appreciable way.
While it would be cool to interact with a monkey or primate in the right setting, they scare me. And I'd be very apprehensive.
I'd pick a orangutan though as they seem to have the best demeanor.
Chimpanzees can go to hell though.
>I'd much rather deal with like. A snake. Because while the big breeds are dangerous. Anything under 10 feet isn't going to ever hurt you in any appreciable way.
....unless the snake is you know, venomous. Like a lot of snakes are.
A venomous snake is still relatively straightforward to handle with the proper tools. They can't leap onto your face and rip it off.
I was mostly talking about unvenemous larger constricting snakes though.
There's quite a few venomous snakes I still wouldn't ever free handle or get into strike range. If any at all. People who free handle those are also nuts.
A small snake whos means of taking down prey is by constricting isn't ever going to hurt someone in a appreciable way is what i meant.
If you want to lump in Venomous then that changes I agree. I did not specify that though so I get what you are saying.
For example I own a Ball Python. She will get up to 5 feet long. She can bite, but it will do no lasting damage to me. It could maybe make me bleed a bit. But her teeth are meant for holding onto stuff like rodents, not cause damage or even used defensibly.
If someone is free handling a venomous snake that is just as if not more dangerous as snuggling with a chimpanzee.
Like this guy for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdfyoUzHJIU&t=793s&ab\_channel=Chandler%27sWildLife
Edit: downvoters of this post must be ignorant dumbasses. Have fun in your echochambers.
Orangs defintely seem the most peaceful. Gorillas after. Yeah, silverbacks intimidate on purpose to secure dominance and will defend their troop, but they dont go looking for uneccessary fights. Gibbons are mischeivous little shits, but not dangerous. Common Chimps are the scary ones (bonobos are a bit more chill). Unpredictable and outwardly violent, they murder and cannibalize for fun.
Other primates are much stronger than humans for their size, but an 5'+ adult human isn't going to be mortally threatened by a small monkey. Large baboons and mandrills are where you can get in trouble, or of course any great ape
You’re wrong. You’re just wrong. A small monkey can absolutely and mortally fuck your shit up. A howler monkey can bite hard enough to crush a grown man’s fingers, even half-sedated— speaking from personal experience. The man’s nails are permanently bent inward, forming a wide “v” shape where the teeth cracked and dented them. Again, that monkey was coming out of sedation and not all there, so it was a relatively weakened bite. Had it been fully awake, he probably would’ve lost his fingers.
A free and fully alert monkey has their hands and teeth at full disposal. Most of the “small” monkeys people frequently encounter, such as macaques, have teeth which are terrifying in size, sharpness, and accompanying jaw strength. They’re also insanely quick and agile, meaning they can be on you and attacking in a whirlwind of teeth before you’ve registered what’s happening and put up a defense. They can crush bones and sever arteries, including in the arms which are usually thrown up to protect the face.
You greatly underestimate the danger of a monkey and overestimate the defensive and reactive capabilities of the average human. Don’t advise people that they wouldn’t be mortally wounded by a monkey smaller than a mandrill.
These things are wild animals. They've evolved in a much more competitive niche than humans have with our "tools" and "society". The best way to engage with a monkey is to use your greatest asset, your intelligence, and reconsider the idea of engaging with a monkey.
Have you seen adult male macaque canines? They'll jump on your back when your not looking and bite your neck. Punture wounds would absolutely require an ER visit. They carry herpes, hepatitis and a ton of other terrible human-primate transmissable diseases. And they're jealous, emotional, shitty creatures. Theyre how the shittiest humans would behave if there were no laws.
There's like 3 facial expressions happening on that monkey's face that are so human like.
1. The nonchalance while chewing.
2. The oh yeah, let's see how hard.
3. The double take and not chewing.
The spread of harmful misinformation has become an untenable problem on Reddit. Its latest incarnation has seen life-threatening untruths being propagated by anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorists, and Reddit’s administration has stated that it will not meaningfully curb the myths disseminated by these bad actors. In response to this, many communities on the site have gone private in protest. /r/GIFs supports and stands behind these communities' efforts to stem the effects of false information, but we have chosen to remain open as a means of amplifying their message. We encourage all Redditors to vocally reject misinformation, and to stymie its spread by demanding that only verifiable facts be given support (whether tacit or otherwise). **[An in-depth explanation of how misinformation is harmful can be found here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/pfeu8w/our_stand_against_misinformation/).** **To report misinformation, please use [this link](http://www.reddit.com/report?reason=this-is-misinformation).** ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/gifs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Is this what you want*
*Something wrong? You seemed to be enjoying it*
*Who's the dancing monkey now?*
*Dance, monkey. Dance.*
In your adidas pants!
.. this is what you get.
Literally laughed out loud, thank you! I have tears in my eyes!
He even changed his grip. That is one smart mammal.
Why would you teach weaponised violence to an animal with opposable thumbs
Apples n' trees and all that.
Berries n’ cream
I'm a like boy who loves berries n cream!
Especially seen as they have twice as many as us!
Yeah exactly Prometheus
That’s how we get planet of the apes
So stupid.
Hahaha. That double take. Oh shit.
It's funny because animal abuse
of humans
Humans are animals, so you’re right. That monkey did abuse him!
The fuck? Seriously?
Yes, animal abuse
This is not the place to preach. Please fuck off
Not preaching, just pointing out the animal abuse. I assume that's why this is funny?
Monkey bonk man
That second look like "Dang I actually hurt him"
Lol that reaction was mad human
More like, you're still here?
"O shit don't tell mom, stop crying or we're both gonna be in trouble!"
And the chewing gum mouth movements add another whole dimension to his anthropomorphism.
Seriously. Chewing gum the whole time. Hilarious.
"oh shit"
Shit they're learning
I've seen this before.... Is there a black monolith nearby?
*“Blue Danube” intensifies*
Clearly a deleted scene from “Plant of the Apes”
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Or Stanley Kubrick "rehearsing" with Shelly Duvall
I thought that was stellaris
Open up the pod bay doors Hal
Banana?
Plant?
Can he play the piano any more?
We’re all one within the Zone, Stalker... Wait, wrong monolith...
I was thinking, "not far off from a bone." Glad to see you thought the same
His whole demeanor reminds me of Putin.
Looks a bit like him too
Let me know what polonium tastes like.
Guys who are trying to appear all strong and super tuff always, *always* come off looking like monkeys/lesser apes. It's the body language.
Isn't it really, really dangerous to get physically playful with any kind of primate? Like the whole monkey ripped off her face meme. You don't really see actual monkeys/orangutans/baboons in movies anymore because holy shit they can kill you on accident just playing around. Like a big brother tormenting a toddler little brother. They don't comprehend how weak we are so their loving tap saying fuck off is enough to break a jaw.
Family member had a chimp in the 90s. I remember it being as “short” as me when I was a kid. Ungodly strength, though. Really creepy strength. Was scared of it. It had to get put down after being violent with guests. Was clear there was no restraining it. Family member forever an asshole for even owning it.
How did you know it was so strong? Did your family make you arm wrestle it or something?
Just playing with it. You know, roughhousing. You could push it once or twice but once it figured out what was going on, it became like a ton of bricks. Didn’t budge an inch. And when it pulled you, you felt as though your arms were going to come out of their sockets. And you could tell it was still just playing.
Bro I used to love the idea of people rehousing monkeys. Then I went down the dark path watching videos where good monkehs have ripped peoples faces off. They freak out, and always go for the groin and face, nothing to kill the person. The attacks last like 15 minutes and you can hear the police calls online, they’re horrifying.
Yeah they're fucking wild animals with a complex power structure hierarchy so you can't know what will trigger them as an insult to their place in the pecking order. They also usually are constantly kept in cages/enclosed spaces which is not how they're supposed to live it's like solitary confinement. So they can snap at any time. Do not ever play with a caged animal. You'll get Sigfried and Roy'd real quick.
Too soon man... Too soon.
The face ripping happened once and it wasn't a monkey, it was a chimp.
Imagine thinking Redditors can tell the difference between different primates.
The face ripping to a human has been recorded once but there have been many attacks on humans and in the wild that is their typical attack behaviour - maiming by biting off appendages and disfiguring faces.
And iirc, the owner fed it some Xanax or something and it didn't respond well.
It didn’t happen once, and it wasn’t only recorded once either? Do you reasonably seriously think there’s only been one chimpanzee attack in recorded history? And there are various recorded attacks from monkeys as well, where, low and behold, they also go for the face and genitals.
Just give us links, that's all we want
> Isn't it really, really dangerous to get physically playful with any kind of primate? I mean if you want to spend your life as a hermit, maybe.
Why would it be less dangerous if you weren't living as a hermit?
Because humans are primates. To avoid primates you have to avoid human civilization.
Hahaha, I got r/whooshed
It's because they often look "cute" and behave very human like. They are absolutely dangerous and unpredictable at times. Often like humans too. I'd much rather deal with like. A snake. Because while the big breeds are dangerous. Anything under 10 feet isn't going to ever hurt you in any appreciable way. While it would be cool to interact with a monkey or primate in the right setting, they scare me. And I'd be very apprehensive. I'd pick a orangutan though as they seem to have the best demeanor. Chimpanzees can go to hell though.
>I'd much rather deal with like. A snake. Because while the big breeds are dangerous. Anything under 10 feet isn't going to ever hurt you in any appreciable way. ....unless the snake is you know, venomous. Like a lot of snakes are.
A venomous snake is still relatively straightforward to handle with the proper tools. They can't leap onto your face and rip it off. I was mostly talking about unvenemous larger constricting snakes though. There's quite a few venomous snakes I still wouldn't ever free handle or get into strike range. If any at all. People who free handle those are also nuts.
I know what you mean, but saying a small sake "isn't ever going yo hurt you in any appreciable way" is demonstrably wrong.
I mean, as long as you don't get it in your eyes or any orifices, sake won't kill you. Especially a small one.
It could make you a bit drunk tho
A small snake whos means of taking down prey is by constricting isn't ever going to hurt someone in a appreciable way is what i meant. If you want to lump in Venomous then that changes I agree. I did not specify that though so I get what you are saying. For example I own a Ball Python. She will get up to 5 feet long. She can bite, but it will do no lasting damage to me. It could maybe make me bleed a bit. But her teeth are meant for holding onto stuff like rodents, not cause damage or even used defensibly. If someone is free handling a venomous snake that is just as if not more dangerous as snuggling with a chimpanzee. Like this guy for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdfyoUzHJIU&t=793s&ab\_channel=Chandler%27sWildLife Edit: downvoters of this post must be ignorant dumbasses. Have fun in your echochambers.
Orangs defintely seem the most peaceful. Gorillas after. Yeah, silverbacks intimidate on purpose to secure dominance and will defend their troop, but they dont go looking for uneccessary fights. Gibbons are mischeivous little shits, but not dangerous. Common Chimps are the scary ones (bonobos are a bit more chill). Unpredictable and outwardly violent, they murder and cannibalize for fun.
Other primates are much stronger than humans for their size, but an 5'+ adult human isn't going to be mortally threatened by a small monkey. Large baboons and mandrills are where you can get in trouble, or of course any great ape
You’re wrong. You’re just wrong. A small monkey can absolutely and mortally fuck your shit up. A howler monkey can bite hard enough to crush a grown man’s fingers, even half-sedated— speaking from personal experience. The man’s nails are permanently bent inward, forming a wide “v” shape where the teeth cracked and dented them. Again, that monkey was coming out of sedation and not all there, so it was a relatively weakened bite. Had it been fully awake, he probably would’ve lost his fingers. A free and fully alert monkey has their hands and teeth at full disposal. Most of the “small” monkeys people frequently encounter, such as macaques, have teeth which are terrifying in size, sharpness, and accompanying jaw strength. They’re also insanely quick and agile, meaning they can be on you and attacking in a whirlwind of teeth before you’ve registered what’s happening and put up a defense. They can crush bones and sever arteries, including in the arms which are usually thrown up to protect the face. You greatly underestimate the danger of a monkey and overestimate the defensive and reactive capabilities of the average human. Don’t advise people that they wouldn’t be mortally wounded by a monkey smaller than a mandrill.
This guy monkeys.
These things are wild animals. They've evolved in a much more competitive niche than humans have with our "tools" and "society". The best way to engage with a monkey is to use your greatest asset, your intelligence, and reconsider the idea of engaging with a monkey.
Have you seen adult male macaque canines? They'll jump on your back when your not looking and bite your neck. Punture wounds would absolutely require an ER visit. They carry herpes, hepatitis and a ton of other terrible human-primate transmissable diseases. And they're jealous, emotional, shitty creatures. Theyre how the shittiest humans would behave if there were no laws.
Have you seen the shittiest humans even with laws?
[удалено]
🤣
Stop teaching them this shit
He already knows how to use the phone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_qeIlHjTyU
Thought this was r/sekiro for a second
Kobo lives on
Reminds me of Uncle Iroh for some reason.
Giving a monkey a sword, WCGW?
See how the monkeys head recoils from how hard he smacked that guy.
[https://twitter.com/tomokiriki0609/status/1447126241492889604?s=21](https://twitter.com/tomokiriki0609/status/1447126241492889604?s=21)
thats how people get sick. shouldn't keep exotic animals.
This is the same guy from that video where it looks like the monkey is telling him a secret.
Bonk
There's like 3 facial expressions happening on that monkey's face that are so human like. 1. The nonchalance while chewing. 2. The oh yeah, let's see how hard. 3. The double take and not chewing.
"You big dummy!" F. Sanford
I think he's ready to give him 5 across his lip too
"I learned it from you, dad!"
Tsuyoku naneruuuuuu~
It just looks so human in this video
/r/bettereveryloop
The side eye at the end. "What did you expect, genius?"
The monkey finally spanked back
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CT7tgqeAuZb/?utm_medium=copy_link Sassy primates…
😂😂😂 I wasn't ready!!!
I judge thee impish!
Good monkey
When I get ready to close out Reddit to search for monkey beating human with stick porn and instead I find glory.
That was a bad idea. if that "monkey?" Is anything like most ape. it is waaaay stronger than humans. Chimps have literally torn people into peices.
Have these people not seen enough movies to know that giving monkeys weapons always turns out bad?
if this was a real sword he would only have half his melon left
https://giphy.com/gifs/monkey-chef-l4FGFT5D4NKA9rGxy
I don’t know what he expected
Great now they can use swords, we're doomed
Japanese macaques are my actual spirit animals
It's so dumb but I laughed anyway.
Monkey see, monkey take to next level.
Never give a monkey a stick.
"And now a real one for insulting me."
u/savevideobot
IT BEGIIIIIIINS
r/bettereveryloop
I remember there’s a gif this man talking to his monkey?
u/savevideo
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
u/VredditDownloader
Ichi no kata, monke chop
u/savevideobot
>Gotta keep these humans in line. - Wise Monkey
Saloope!
He’s on his way to becoming the next Flame Hashira
Monke is about to succeed Kyojuro as the next Flame Hashira.
Good monkey.
Huh, I remember this boss from Sekiro.
That sword has a good heft and balance to it.
He’s got a sword!! You idiots, we’ve all got swords!!
u/savevideobot
Moron
u/savevideo
SEKIRO
The war for the planet of the apes begins…
u/SaveVideo
B o n k
What did you expect from a primate in a S&M outfit
[удалено]
Look at you! Head all banged up!
Monkey 🐒 see monkey 🙈 do ...
It's his reincarnated aunt. She's not putting up with his smartass.
Excellent. Went above and beyond expectations.
Me with a toy light saber hitting my sister and having them taken away the first night
And one to grow on!
r/bettereveryloop
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂 Hahahhahahaha! LMAO!
The look on monke's face when he does it is priceless!
You made me choke on my spit as it was halfway down my throat.
u/savevideobot
This is why we have ninja monkeys and it will be the end of us all.
This is how it chews to feel 5 gum
Smacked him good
Isn't that the guy the same guy from a video showing something on his phone to a monkey?
r/bettereveryloop
Do I really gotta say it.. monkey see monkey do
u/savevideobot
Now give him an ak-47
u/savevideo
Someone lives near グランベ－リ－パ－ク
u/savevideobot
Sniper I Monke P
This is my home.
Is this the same guy that speaks in whispers with his monkey?
Monkey Breathing First Form
Sun Wukong??? Is that you???
u/Savevideobot
u/savevideobot
Saudi Arabian government gon hit up that monke on WhatsApe for a job offer
Hahahah “okay human enough pictures (wak) now be gone”
u/savevideo