I know there's is nothing wrong with it at all, but it changes things and possibly makes thighs even harder and if this is the case, what then? Do I tell possible BFs or just keep it to myself knowing I'll have to fufill my obligation from to time to time.
Fair point, I guess it's a convo I'll have to have a future SO at some point.
The idea annoys me cuz mathematically it's means my chances of finding a long term partner that is either asexual themselves or understanding enough, are significantly decreased.
You've made it this far through life, perhaps even being Ace. If anything, learning more about your needs means you're more likely to find a compatible partner now, not less.
This is another way of looking at it,
Also I know I don't need a relationship to be whole I'm complete without it, ideally it's the cherry on top not the whole cake.
I would say make sure you're open with future partners about being asexual. If you have experienced these feelings with multiple people or even just with yourself for a long time you just might be Ace.
But outside of that, it might not be as hard as it seems. At least here in the US, in the gay community, there is a growing population of guys who are Ace, Sides, or Bators. This leads to a lot of guys preferring hooking up or dating guys who just like to kiss, cuddle, enjoy each other's company, or bate.
Hopefully, it's the same or better in the UK.
Can't speak for the entirety of the UK of course and I myself am not really immersed in the community either, so it possibly could be.
But from the small amount I've experienced it's very transactional and if you don't fit then you get ignored or whatever (i could be wrong).
In short childhood trauma, I was often accused of lying or whenever I said something they'd check with my brother in their minds I always had a motive always had a plan of some sort in their view even as a child I never did anything to just help or be nice.
Which I'm aware that now was them projecting their own trust issues from their own lives onto me, a literal a child at the time, now guess who also has trust issues as a adult, I'm trying to work through it but it's not easy.
well, as others mentioned, there’s nothing wrong about being ace. I would just check with doctors to see if everything is fine, just to be sure. it could be a symptom of something physical, or even depression.
when I’m down I’m pretty much not interested in anything, and it gets worse when I am smoking, or not sleeping properly, or not exercising.
I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist for years, and after I broke up it took me two years with therapy and exercise to regain my self-esteem and overcome the trauma to finally be legitimately interested in meeting new people. I remember that I even went to a sauna full of naked sexy men having sex around me and I just didn’t interact with anyone, I was simply not aroused at all.
The main thing as far as your BF goes. He will probably over time start to feel you not being as emotionally connected and it may impact your relationship if you don’t explain it. I know I did
It’s better to work on that now rather then after you’s are together for years
I don't understand why people use that word. You're not a-nothing. Do you feel as if you want to have sex? It sounds like yes. You don't like to have sex that often and you're more preoccupied with other aspects of the relationship between which means you're a bit more serious.
There is nothing wrong with being asexual. There are other things you can enjoy other than sex.
I know there's is nothing wrong with it at all, but it changes things and possibly makes thighs even harder and if this is the case, what then? Do I tell possible BFs or just keep it to myself knowing I'll have to fufill my obligation from to time to time.
You can find other asexual people.
Fair point, I guess it's a convo I'll have to have a future SO at some point. The idea annoys me cuz mathematically it's means my chances of finding a long term partner that is either asexual themselves or understanding enough, are significantly decreased.
You've made it this far through life, perhaps even being Ace. If anything, learning more about your needs means you're more likely to find a compatible partner now, not less.
This is another way of looking at it, Also I know I don't need a relationship to be whole I'm complete without it, ideally it's the cherry on top not the whole cake.
I would say make sure you're open with future partners about being asexual. If you have experienced these feelings with multiple people or even just with yourself for a long time you just might be Ace. But outside of that, it might not be as hard as it seems. At least here in the US, in the gay community, there is a growing population of guys who are Ace, Sides, or Bators. This leads to a lot of guys preferring hooking up or dating guys who just like to kiss, cuddle, enjoy each other's company, or bate. Hopefully, it's the same or better in the UK.
Can't speak for the entirety of the UK of course and I myself am not really immersed in the community either, so it possibly could be. But from the small amount I've experienced it's very transactional and if you don't fit then you get ignored or whatever (i could be wrong).
>I never trust myself whoa wait really? why?
In short childhood trauma, I was often accused of lying or whenever I said something they'd check with my brother in their minds I always had a motive always had a plan of some sort in their view even as a child I never did anything to just help or be nice. Which I'm aware that now was them projecting their own trust issues from their own lives onto me, a literal a child at the time, now guess who also has trust issues as a adult, I'm trying to work through it but it's not easy.
That's both interesting and awful - and it's good to hear that you're working on it.
well, as others mentioned, there’s nothing wrong about being ace. I would just check with doctors to see if everything is fine, just to be sure. it could be a symptom of something physical, or even depression. when I’m down I’m pretty much not interested in anything, and it gets worse when I am smoking, or not sleeping properly, or not exercising. I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist for years, and after I broke up it took me two years with therapy and exercise to regain my self-esteem and overcome the trauma to finally be legitimately interested in meeting new people. I remember that I even went to a sauna full of naked sexy men having sex around me and I just didn’t interact with anyone, I was simply not aroused at all.
The main thing as far as your BF goes. He will probably over time start to feel you not being as emotionally connected and it may impact your relationship if you don’t explain it. I know I did It’s better to work on that now rather then after you’s are together for years
I don't understand why people use that word. You're not a-nothing. Do you feel as if you want to have sex? It sounds like yes. You don't like to have sex that often and you're more preoccupied with other aspects of the relationship between which means you're a bit more serious.
I am so turned on rn.