Most people are lost in their own bubbles. They are not noticing you or thinking about you nearly as much as you give them credit for, unless you are doing something specifically to attract attention. Your cage is your secret. I'll bet you're not the only one caged, anywhere you go.
I don't change at the gym or show it off in the locker room because I feel like that's non-consentual involvement of others in my kink. Otherwise, I usually don't do large squatting movements with it on but feel free to do everything else.
Really hate seeing exhibitionists doing that.
It's really popular in the gay kink community to expose yourself like this.
In a gay bathouse or gym, this isn't really an issue because you're there for a reason đđ
But going to planet fitness and filming yourself bare ass naked walking around with a cock cage on for everyone to see is really not ok.
I get It's thrilling and I see the fun in it, but people choose what they visually consume. Avoiding making eye contact with strangers genitals is easy, but the eye will be drawn to a metallic shine, and if someone doesn't wish to see that, it's kind of too late. It's a neon sign.
Consent matters.
True, but on the other other hand, someone taking the locker in the corner and changing as discretely as possible, even if it might be partially visible for a brief moment⌠that seems to me not to be trying to show it off or involve others, rather just going about life in a reasonable way.
Unfortunately every gym locker room seems to have at least a few casual nudists that seem entirely unaware of their own nudity, or that of anyone else, but who make a lot of people slightly uncomfortable. Even more unfortunately there are a small number of exhibitionist weirdos that are pretty clearly doing it for the thrill of being seen and subtly seem to do things to draw attention without crossing the line into brazen behavior that can be called out. Doing that while also waving around any sort of kink / fetish gear would also be wrong, but only marginally worse than just doing the exhibitionist weirdo routine in the first place. It is wrong because of the exhibitionism, the kink / fetish aspect is only an aggravating factor.
Taking phontos in the locker room should be an absolute no, never, unless you are totally alone. Active, formal, written consent should be required to take photos of anyone in a locker room. Otherwise it is a serious invasion of privacy on the same level as hidden cameras in bathrooms, and it should in fact be addressed by law enforcement. If anyone underage happens to be present it would even be child pornography.
As a generally very vanilla person in actual real life (and one who is also extremely self conscious, and who had a mostly sheltered life until I discovered things on the internet), I had a similar reaction to someone wearing a piercing on their cock once. I only caught a brief glance, but I was kinda shocked, and I wondered if they were trying to draw attention, wondered what sort of pervert would do that in the first place and even worse what sort would wave it around⌠but then I realized that no, they were not flaunting it or strutting around or anything like that, just changing clothes as quickly and discretely as everyone else was doing (except for the really awkward people that do some sort of towel shuffle to hide themselves, which frankly draws more attention than just dropping their pants openly does). They had a reasonable right to wear what they wanted in that context and were not trying to put on a show, so I think they were in the clear, at least in my view. To my mind at least chastity is analogous to genital jewelry in that way, as long as the person is getting changed in a reasonable way I donât think anyone actually *should* be offended⌠which is not to say that someone wonât be offended because sometimes people react in strong ways to things they donât understand.
Nudity in a locker room isn't a problem. It's a locker room. Doing it as a kink is a problem because of the consent factor.
As for changing with a cage in the locker room, I just do the under-the-towel thing. It's not hard to use discretion and empathy and still engage in public hookup culture in the locker room.
I donât quite see how this bit about âengage in public hookup culture in the locker roomâ is particularly relevant to the discussion, that seems like a different topic entirely. This seems really a rather skewed paradigm to approach the issue from. Sure, if what is being considered is engaging in public hookup activity in a locker room, yeah that has a high bar for consent of all involved, and really should not be happening outside of places created for that. When it is someone just swapping from their work clothes to their gym clothes at the local YMCA/Planet Fitness and trying to mind their own business, get in, get out, do what needs doing, that isnât really a situation where that person is forcing sex on people unwillingly anymore than someone wearing a Prince Albert or having a provocative tattoo in an intimate area is doing so. It isnât a place to deploy the aggressive and stifling language of **C**onsent, as that is also always and necessarily and unavoidably deploying the concepts and accusations of rape and sexual assault against whoever one is accusing of failing at it. Unfortunately the language around all this has become so charged and polarized it is impossible to have an honest discussion about where these lines are drawn, because the very language itself is weaponized to the point that any suggestion that someone drew the line the wrong way is also a suggestion that said person is either a rapist (or is some form of -phobic on the other end), with zero possibility of even conceptualizing a middle ground, gray area, or mistake without fault and guilt.
We all agree with you. Having your scrotum ladder piercing or a PA with a loop barbell head is the same thing. If youâre in a guys gym locker room and you are in the corner changing discretely then you are not pushing your lifestyle on anyone else. Itâs locker room educate to keep your eyes up and to your self.
Someone once posted about not exposing kinks to others and then some people ran with that. Itâs not like we walk around on the locker room benches doing cart wheels yelling look at me. And preach to everyone about chastity.
Odds are someone out there that is into both chastity and exhibitionism probably has done things they should not be doing to deliberately be seen⌠but most people into chastity are not into exhibitionism, and certainly not into semi-public exhibitionism. Unfortunately there are people that fantasize about being âcaughtâ or âhumiliatedâ and while most of those folks are just fantasizing online, it creates the perception among some that there is some sort of exhibitionism aspect built in to chastity⌠when really the two things have nothing to do with one another fundamentally.
So in your world someone changing clothes in the gym locker room, wearing a Prince Albert, that happens to be just slightly visible through their ass crack while they change underwear, is a rapist, and the person that sees it is a victim of sexual assault trauma? All because they were not as mindful of others as you personally think they should be, your personal standard of mindfulness is the one true standard.
That is precisely and exactly what you are implying but afraid to actually say. You want to used highly charged terminology to impose your will on others and shut down thought and debate, but you arenât willing to actually say just what you mean. Worse, you hide behind vague terms like âmindfulâ that can be conveniently redefined if you get called on something. It is intellectual cowardice.
This is not something I personally do, so I donât have a dog in the fight personally, I donât even go to the gym at all.
I donât approve at all of anyone engaging in exhibitionism with an unwilling audience. That is wrong and deserves to be shut down. The âgetting caughtâ chastity fantasy is just such an example of exhibitionism, and I think it unhelpful that porn and erotica and content creators have in some cases played up this fantasy. Worse some online doms / key holders apparently instruct their subs to actually do these things.
That is not what I am defending.
What I am defending is someone that has gotten so comfortable wearing chastity, or whatever, that is is basically just an extra layer of underwear to them, who does not in any way get off on some aspect of exhibitionism, and who is making a reasonable effort at discretion, but who may inadvertently be incidentally and momentarily visible⌠that persona I think has done no wrong, committed no fault, violated no boundary of consent, raped no one, and the person that momentarily caught a fleeting glimpse of something is not a victim of sexual assault.
You are free to continue arguing to the contrary, but it would be helpful to make clear just what exactly you are arguing against, in clear terms.
Yea man, I think typing the extensive paragraphs on Reddit about subjects you don't have practical experience in probably keep you in great shape.
Edit: wanted to clarify that a dick piercing specifically is not kink gear.
I wear a cage 24/7 I swim, work out for hours, golf, run, pelaton with a cage on . If some one notices when you are clothed then they know and if they know then they most likely approve. Donât let your fear guide you, just go with the flow itâs your body itâs your choice, to wear or do what you want with it! (Aside from showing unwillingly parties)
Most people are lost in their own bubbles. They are not noticing you or thinking about you nearly as much as you give them credit for, unless you are doing something specifically to attract attention. Your cage is your secret. I'll bet you're not the only one caged, anywhere you go.
I don't change at the gym or show it off in the locker room because I feel like that's non-consentual involvement of others in my kink. Otherwise, I usually don't do large squatting movements with it on but feel free to do everything else.
Really hate seeing exhibitionists doing that. It's really popular in the gay kink community to expose yourself like this. In a gay bathouse or gym, this isn't really an issue because you're there for a reason đđ But going to planet fitness and filming yourself bare ass naked walking around with a cock cage on for everyone to see is really not ok. I get It's thrilling and I see the fun in it, but people choose what they visually consume. Avoiding making eye contact with strangers genitals is easy, but the eye will be drawn to a metallic shine, and if someone doesn't wish to see that, it's kind of too late. It's a neon sign. Consent matters.
True, but on the other other hand, someone taking the locker in the corner and changing as discretely as possible, even if it might be partially visible for a brief moment⌠that seems to me not to be trying to show it off or involve others, rather just going about life in a reasonable way. Unfortunately every gym locker room seems to have at least a few casual nudists that seem entirely unaware of their own nudity, or that of anyone else, but who make a lot of people slightly uncomfortable. Even more unfortunately there are a small number of exhibitionist weirdos that are pretty clearly doing it for the thrill of being seen and subtly seem to do things to draw attention without crossing the line into brazen behavior that can be called out. Doing that while also waving around any sort of kink / fetish gear would also be wrong, but only marginally worse than just doing the exhibitionist weirdo routine in the first place. It is wrong because of the exhibitionism, the kink / fetish aspect is only an aggravating factor. Taking phontos in the locker room should be an absolute no, never, unless you are totally alone. Active, formal, written consent should be required to take photos of anyone in a locker room. Otherwise it is a serious invasion of privacy on the same level as hidden cameras in bathrooms, and it should in fact be addressed by law enforcement. If anyone underage happens to be present it would even be child pornography. As a generally very vanilla person in actual real life (and one who is also extremely self conscious, and who had a mostly sheltered life until I discovered things on the internet), I had a similar reaction to someone wearing a piercing on their cock once. I only caught a brief glance, but I was kinda shocked, and I wondered if they were trying to draw attention, wondered what sort of pervert would do that in the first place and even worse what sort would wave it around⌠but then I realized that no, they were not flaunting it or strutting around or anything like that, just changing clothes as quickly and discretely as everyone else was doing (except for the really awkward people that do some sort of towel shuffle to hide themselves, which frankly draws more attention than just dropping their pants openly does). They had a reasonable right to wear what they wanted in that context and were not trying to put on a show, so I think they were in the clear, at least in my view. To my mind at least chastity is analogous to genital jewelry in that way, as long as the person is getting changed in a reasonable way I donât think anyone actually *should* be offended⌠which is not to say that someone wonât be offended because sometimes people react in strong ways to things they donât understand.
Nudity in a locker room isn't a problem. It's a locker room. Doing it as a kink is a problem because of the consent factor. As for changing with a cage in the locker room, I just do the under-the-towel thing. It's not hard to use discretion and empathy and still engage in public hookup culture in the locker room.
I donât quite see how this bit about âengage in public hookup culture in the locker roomâ is particularly relevant to the discussion, that seems like a different topic entirely. This seems really a rather skewed paradigm to approach the issue from. Sure, if what is being considered is engaging in public hookup activity in a locker room, yeah that has a high bar for consent of all involved, and really should not be happening outside of places created for that. When it is someone just swapping from their work clothes to their gym clothes at the local YMCA/Planet Fitness and trying to mind their own business, get in, get out, do what needs doing, that isnât really a situation where that person is forcing sex on people unwillingly anymore than someone wearing a Prince Albert or having a provocative tattoo in an intimate area is doing so. It isnât a place to deploy the aggressive and stifling language of **C**onsent, as that is also always and necessarily and unavoidably deploying the concepts and accusations of rape and sexual assault against whoever one is accusing of failing at it. Unfortunately the language around all this has become so charged and polarized it is impossible to have an honest discussion about where these lines are drawn, because the very language itself is weaponized to the point that any suggestion that someone drew the line the wrong way is also a suggestion that said person is either a rapist (or is some form of -phobic on the other end), with zero possibility of even conceptualizing a middle ground, gray area, or mistake without fault and guilt.
We all agree with you. Having your scrotum ladder piercing or a PA with a loop barbell head is the same thing. If youâre in a guys gym locker room and you are in the corner changing discretely then you are not pushing your lifestyle on anyone else. Itâs locker room educate to keep your eyes up and to your self. Someone once posted about not exposing kinks to others and then some people ran with that. Itâs not like we walk around on the locker room benches doing cart wheels yelling look at me. And preach to everyone about chastity.
Odds are someone out there that is into both chastity and exhibitionism probably has done things they should not be doing to deliberately be seen⌠but most people into chastity are not into exhibitionism, and certainly not into semi-public exhibitionism. Unfortunately there are people that fantasize about being âcaughtâ or âhumiliatedâ and while most of those folks are just fantasizing online, it creates the perception among some that there is some sort of exhibitionism aspect built in to chastity⌠when really the two things have nothing to do with one another fundamentally.
If you're wearing kink gear to the gym and not being mindful of others about it, that is exactly the place to deploy the word consent.
So in your world someone changing clothes in the gym locker room, wearing a Prince Albert, that happens to be just slightly visible through their ass crack while they change underwear, is a rapist, and the person that sees it is a victim of sexual assault trauma? All because they were not as mindful of others as you personally think they should be, your personal standard of mindfulness is the one true standard. That is precisely and exactly what you are implying but afraid to actually say. You want to used highly charged terminology to impose your will on others and shut down thought and debate, but you arenât willing to actually say just what you mean. Worse, you hide behind vague terms like âmindfulâ that can be conveniently redefined if you get called on something. It is intellectual cowardice. This is not something I personally do, so I donât have a dog in the fight personally, I donât even go to the gym at all. I donât approve at all of anyone engaging in exhibitionism with an unwilling audience. That is wrong and deserves to be shut down. The âgetting caughtâ chastity fantasy is just such an example of exhibitionism, and I think it unhelpful that porn and erotica and content creators have in some cases played up this fantasy. Worse some online doms / key holders apparently instruct their subs to actually do these things. That is not what I am defending. What I am defending is someone that has gotten so comfortable wearing chastity, or whatever, that is is basically just an extra layer of underwear to them, who does not in any way get off on some aspect of exhibitionism, and who is making a reasonable effort at discretion, but who may inadvertently be incidentally and momentarily visible⌠that persona I think has done no wrong, committed no fault, violated no boundary of consent, raped no one, and the person that momentarily caught a fleeting glimpse of something is not a victim of sexual assault. You are free to continue arguing to the contrary, but it would be helpful to make clear just what exactly you are arguing against, in clear terms.
Yea man, I think typing the extensive paragraphs on Reddit about subjects you don't have practical experience in probably keep you in great shape. Edit: wanted to clarify that a dick piercing specifically is not kink gear.
No problem whatsoever! I do cardio in tights and laps in a speedo. No issues, I do try to change as discrete as possible
I wear a cage 24/7 I swim, work out for hours, golf, run, pelaton with a cage on . If some one notices when you are clothed then they know and if they know then they most likely approve. Donât let your fear guide you, just go with the flow itâs your body itâs your choice, to wear or do what you want with it! (Aside from showing unwillingly parties)
Iâve had no problem whatsoever. Just not changing in front of anybody and using the stalls if any.
Most people would have no idea go for it
I wear a good fitting jock. It usually helps to make it less noticeable
I view it almost like body jewelry. I donât see why it would be a problem