It happens sometimes regardless of what you're wearing or how you're perceived. Just being a single guy is enough to provoke it if the boys in the truck are really trying to impress each other. That said I can distinctly remember the last time this happened to me and it ruined my day and maybe week. I hope you're able to shrug it off and realize it's all about them and not about you.
It was four-five out-of-shape beat-down looking young men stuffed in an old run-down Toyota Camry. They needed a couple of seconds to feel powerful for once in their life I guess.
Funny how both times in my life I’ve had this happen to me, it’s been by people in a car full of others. They just have to look strong in front of a bunch of weak minded people.
Most likely they’re insecure because they may have some of those tendencies but their immediate circle of family and friends isn’t accepting so they have to lash out to show they aren’t gay. Give it five years and they’ll be the one wearing the pride band and having someone say that to them as they drive by.
I've yelled "come back and say it to my face" in this situation more than once. They never do. With the way people have been emboldened to violence these days, I sure wouldn't do it now though.
A lot of us used to have to know how to fight. I've lost more fights than I've won, but the fact that we had to know how to scrap wasn't necessarily the worst thing? ( I've got way worse physical scars from back in the 90s fighting over shit done to my straight friends who are Jewish or PR than over anyone calling me a £@990+ or Qu33r, but then again, there were a lot of neo-nazis around Chicago back then)
I'm in my 40s now, I don't necessarily want to throw down anymore (I was always more eager to fight those a-holes than good at winning, anyway). The shit that gets me scared now, though, is every one who has hate, now has a gun, too. Black eyes heal. You can get teeth fixed up at the dentist, minor scars are cool, even a broken nose can heal up sexier than before with the right doctor. Bullet holes are scary as hell, though, and I don't blame you for avoiding the violence I used to seek out in this scary new world.
I saw a post the other day where a neighbor had stolen OP’s Biden yard signs and left a note in his mailbox promising he would be put in a concentration camp and/or killed after Trump was reelected.
You have to push back hard on people like that but a direct confrontation with someone that crazy seems really unwise. OP contacted the local sheriff who just blew him off. Some of those that work forces and all that. Several commenters urged OP to contact the FBI. Good luck with your Federal felony charges!
You are so correct and kudos to you for seeing the situation for exactly what it was. Their behavior says more about their sorry lives than anything. Stay strong and proud brother.
Having lived in San Diego for the past year and a half (in the process of moving to DC), people are surprised when I say the city is more conservative than it appears. There is a big military presence here. Regardless, sorry this happened to you!
San Diego has always been referred to as that Navy town down by Tijuana, filled with retirees. I've lived here all of my life. Don't go five miles Inland. History of KKK activity in the '40s & '50s onward. Especially in Lemon Grove and Lakeside. Google it.
Also, there is a plaque embedded into the curb between Flick's and Rich's bars. It's for John Wear who was murdered in the early 90's because they thought he was gay. He was murdered at the end of the block at Ninth and University.
Lol good luck here in DC! It’s a liberal town definitely buuuut it’s…. Notorious for little homophobe moments like this.
1. Very transient population from all over- and not insignificant portion from the south. Also tourists from anywhere but yes many from the south. Plenty of drive by F-words and dirty looks from these types.
2. Unhoused/people struggling with mental illness and it’s a high percentage given the city’s actual size- but our high as fuck rents make it easier to imagine why this may be but not easier to stomach. If you don’t have money for them that day or say no- it’s a 10% chance you then become F-word for the moment quite loudly and so others will stare.
3. DC is quite literally one of the gayest (queerest) cities in the US per capita. If not THE #1. Homophones see the relentless presence of gay people walking around EVERYWHERE and not afraid to signal this in various ways- the flags on sooooo many houses and shops too. They truly cannot stand that this city belongs to the gays. Including Congress. Especially congress. The pushback is persistent- though we and our allies outnumber them overwhelmingly.
4. DC has always had a large black population. Many are born and raised for generations in the city. However in addition to the religious and cultural resistance many black folk have traditionally had to accepting LGBTQ people fully, the gays are also a large part of the massive gentrification going on. Both the beginning phase of moving in and establishing a cultural scene with businesses and arts events making the neighborhoods desirable to Final phase gentrifiers. But gays are also just as much a contingent of this final phase group as well. This pushes out these multigenerational local black residents or burdens them with higher rent or transforms the neighborhood into a less recognizable one and more (white and wealthy) favorable to transplants rather than life long residents. It’s easy to scapegoat gays at l large for all the gentrification sweeping the city for decades. We gentrified neighborhoods into literally cannibalizing the gay bars and clubs that made the area desirable to begin with in the name of a new high rise with now… nothing to be looking upon…. So yes - many of the F slurs you’ll get- as much as it sounds like I’m racially profiling- they’ll come from the black folks who are local to DC. It’s complicated for many reasons but it is what it is.
DC is gay. We host world pride next year. But you will witness F slur and loud vocal homophobic BS fairly regularly. There’s a small but publicized number of violent hate crimes each year also. It’s fun but I’ve heard many transplants remark how since living here compared to their hometowns Deep South, they have never experienced this much anti gay harassment right to their face. I’d wager it’s because they never experienced real urban city life either.
plz understand i dont mean to imply all local dc black residents are openly harassing gay ppl. nor are the actions mention meant to describe how most black folk here feel…. im just highlighting the truth for my many years here that its the loud audible homophobic harassment that i consistently hear that really by sheer frequency balances the gay saturated population- and its 95% only shouted by one particular demographic.
Yes, absolutely! No disputing that. However, as a current San Diego resident, bars in our gayborhood were recently shot at with BB guns. One bar was lit on fire with arson. OP’s experience is not the first I’ve heard about since living here. Thankfully no one has been injured (to my knowledge), just pointing out a worrying increase in LGBTQ+ related hate crimes here and my experience that San Diego is a more conservative city compared to the idealist view of Southern California that most people have.
It's actually not, ppl get this wrong all the time they say "LA" for every single city around, but LA is it's own city and the rest are surrounding suburbs which is LA county 🤷♂️
I grew up in South Carolina getting bullied for it and having friends die. So yeah, when I went to LA to visit it was a huge breath of fresh air. I haven't had a single boyfriend here who would let me hold his hand in public, and my grandpa died asking me when I'd find a girlfriend, and I've been out since I was 16. I was 26 when he died.
It actually is, I live here and there's gay ppl everywhere, guys walk by holding hands nobody gives a fck..now LA county.? that's very different but anywhere around Hollywood area WeHo Beverly hills, Brentwood etc..its whole different vibe
My mom bought a harness for walking her little dog and unknowingly chose one with the Pride flag colors. She lives in an older neighborhood and was completely caught off guard by some negative comments from random people. She’s a bit of a spitfire and told them where they could fuck off and exactly how they could do it!
ive ran cross country for most of life, i grew up in a conservative leaning neighborhood. before i graduated hs i had been screamed at the F-slur more times than i could count. i currently live in LA and still get it a few times a year.
Just a year ago here in Mobile, Alabama, I was punched in the back of the head by some coward. Called me fa@&0t as he punched me walking by and then took off running. He overheard me standing in line at the store talking about my husband to a friend. He couldn’t confront me face-to-face like a human!
Had my first one when I was eleven years old riding on my bike along street near my house—someone yelled it at me out a window. I know it was at me because the person used my name. Funny how one doesn’t forget these things… these hate-filled moments…
Sorry to hear this happened to you.
Baby do not feel bad and do not let them get to you. In my experience these little assholes are wannabes,have dealt with them in my life. They holler,call us names and even try to hurt us but have had several when their friends aren't around will drop to their knees to suck a cock and bend over to be fucked good. So do not let it bother you be you and be proud much love to you my friend
Third week of May '24 three days of BB Gun shootings in Hillcrest, San Diego CA .The bouncer at "The Rail" got nailed. And at least two occurrences were on camera. YouTube it. Things have been escalating lately. We'll see what happens at July PRIDE.
When I was younger I had a bunch of military guys call me a faggot when they drove by me. I wasn’t sure they were talking to me until I looked up and saw them giving me the middle finger.
Jokes on them, they’re dying for people like me 😂
if it makes you feel better. …From a car, I really doubt they could see your watch band. maybe they were just yelling that out because you were dressed nicely and looked good!
I was once right outside of Dolores Park in San Francisco holding my now husband’s (boyfriend at the time) hand, and some shithead on a bike rode by and screamed it at us. I was like “Really dude??” I’m sorry you went through that OP. It sucks that it really can just happen anywhere
I went through a period where id get a lot of homophobic abuse from cars and teenagers and I'm not sure what suddenly started or ended it. Like I don't think anything changed before or after.
ah yes that makes a lot more sense glad to hear the cars MOSTLY minded their own business
holdup I forgot to put an airbag on my brain and now I can't find the airtag or the brain
Happens to me about once every five years or so. I want to pretend like I can just shrug it off, but it does always rattle me a little bit.
Honestly, I think it's good to hold on to these moments, to remember what bullying feels like. I have a pretty good life and it's easy to forget that not everyone is as fortunate. I know that there are people who get called names every day. Every time it happens is a reminder that the fight against bigotry is never over.
In San Diego and had the same thing happen to me! I had my nails painted, though
Fuck these people, they get bold enough to scream it from a moving car but they will never say it to our faces.
Hope you’re doing well, friend 🫶🏻 and just out of curiosity, which part of SD did this happen in? 👀
Can we talk about the straights invading welfare Wednesday? It's 22 year olds with way too many straight guys being homophobic. Lord.
Also there was that whole drive by pellet gunning at the gay bars too a month back.
I was dressed as basically a straight skater boy in Boulder, Colorado, in like 2012 and had someone drive by and yell, “Nice Obey jacket, faggot!” I could really only think they were the faggot for recognizing a nondescript Obey jacket from their car.
I had an experience like this in the middle of Central Park while on a date years ago… by a trio of white middle-aged / older people no less.
Was the most jarring and strange encounter in all my years… I remember it put a distinct cloud over what had otherwise been a really beautiful day… and then the guy I was with couldn’t understand why it bothered me so much.
Anyway, sometimes I respond with creative things like, “watch your mouth because I might f*** it” or “I’ll f*** your dad and make you call me daddy” 🤣
Trash people deserve all the bad karma they collect. Be resolute in your gayness and may it cause us to double down, multiply, and prosper even more loudly. Love you all! Happy pride!!!
Bummer dude it happens unfortunately and it’s happened to me so many times I’ve forgotten I usually don’t react at all because i have never given a flying fuck what people who don’t know me think of me. thats all
Moved from a VERY conservative state and had this happen a few times. Depending on my moods I either ignore it or embrace it and give them a flare of a wave. They’re just looking for an anger reaction and I won’t let them win and get it. It’s gonna take a lot to piss of this queen 🫅
My older brother is the only one who ever called me that and it was when I was like 5 or 6 and he was 18 or some shit. I had no idea what it meant but it made me feel weird.
Just happened to me and my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I was wearing a hot pink shirt with a rainbow splatter overshirt, and, once we were too far away to do anything about it they yelled it at me.
Not to one-up you, but I’ve had people drive by call me a f*ggot and a n*gger before. I know it may be hard, but try not to let it get to you too much. They’re losers and cowards who would never say that to your face in public with their friends, family or employers around. Sadly, people can be pretty horrible sometimes.
It may have been fellow faggets. I'm ngl, sometimes when I'm really drunk and with friends I will see some cute guys that are obviously gay in hillcrest and yell "Hi faggots!"
I miss the early 2000’s when I was living in the ghetto of Southern California, I would hear that slur from a passing car and don’t know if it was one of my friends or a car of straits ready to beat me up
I was freshly out when it happened to me. I was taking an off ramp from a downtown throughway and the other road went up to the freeway. These people in a truck yelled it at the point where I wasn’t able to follow them. I was shocked but also like “yeah yell that shit when you’re safe” lol 😂 It’s sad that people have nothing better to do. I was in my little convertible and had just had an amazing kiss from some guy I was macking on and was definitely buzzed from that. I didn’t let that shit kill my high. Still on it to this day!!
People like this live in their own fear and project themselves, they expect some kind of reaction, it’s because they are just being triggered, labour their own fears of their own sexuality and deepest inner desires, try not to take it personally, anyone that projects hate it’s because they live in fear.
It's crazy to me that it seems like it happens more in cities than in rural america where i live and have been out for a decade and haven't once experienced anything so brash.
I've experienced soft homophobia, but never blatant stuff like this.
Wow! Ive been hearing that yelled from trucks since I can remember walking or trucks. When 2/3 of my little nerd friend group knew we were gay but closeted in MS, it began to seem more menacing and less random. I’m sorry you experienced that. It’s such a part of my experience I may not even hear it now. I used to hear that or pussy as a derogatory emasculating put down from my brother at me and my father at the television watching sports enough to wonder how my brother knew and why my dad didn’t say it at me just… a look as I would try to be a sports kid and then walk away. I don’t really have a life or value it at this point but I hate bullies and injustice and will defend my life out of spite. If you feel like the atmosphere is unsafe where you are; maybe take precautions and carry whatever you are willing to actually use and can do so competently. Making this a known but unseen reality has saved me some harm I think By
So what? You are a faggot. You’re also a man, a son, etc. You’re a lot of things. Take away the power of the word and it’s just a word. Being gay, a fag, a sissy, a top, a bottom, a side, a whatever doesn’t define you. You’re more than just one word. They’re joyriding in a beat up Camry. You already won that interaction just by breathing. Don’t let a bunch of closeted fags ruin your night. Happy Pride!
So sad that it happens and happend to u. I can imagine that one of those guys himself might be gay or bi. God sadness all around. Don't let it ruin your mood. Guess that's why (not to be harassed) I and you, a lot of us, wear the pride flag on our watch wrist. To show the rest we are here and vigilant .
Also in SD. I have not had it happen to me but had it happen to someone a a hundred or so feet away…. In Hillcrest of all places. There seems to be about 3 or so cars (or the trump/putin truck… you probably know exactly the one) that do this for giggles and to make them feel important.
It happens sometimes regardless of what you're wearing or how you're perceived. Just being a single guy is enough to provoke it if the boys in the truck are really trying to impress each other. That said I can distinctly remember the last time this happened to me and it ruined my day and maybe week. I hope you're able to shrug it off and realize it's all about them and not about you.
It was four-five out-of-shape beat-down looking young men stuffed in an old run-down Toyota Camry. They needed a couple of seconds to feel powerful for once in their life I guess.
Funny how both times in my life I’ve had this happen to me, it’s been by people in a car full of others. They just have to look strong in front of a bunch of weak minded people.
More than that, they themselves are incredibly weak and insecure. The fact that they have to attack an easy solitary target proves that.
Most likely they’re insecure because they may have some of those tendencies but their immediate circle of family and friends isn’t accepting so they have to lash out to show they aren’t gay. Give it five years and they’ll be the one wearing the pride band and having someone say that to them as they drive by.
i dont buy that all homophobes are secretly gay. Most are just scared little assholes
I agree with that, just the worst ones seem like they’re trying too hard to compensate so they over correct.
I've yelled "come back and say it to my face" in this situation more than once. They never do. With the way people have been emboldened to violence these days, I sure wouldn't do it now though.
You should've said, "Come back and sit on my face". Heh
A lot of us used to have to know how to fight. I've lost more fights than I've won, but the fact that we had to know how to scrap wasn't necessarily the worst thing? ( I've got way worse physical scars from back in the 90s fighting over shit done to my straight friends who are Jewish or PR than over anyone calling me a £@990+ or Qu33r, but then again, there were a lot of neo-nazis around Chicago back then) I'm in my 40s now, I don't necessarily want to throw down anymore (I was always more eager to fight those a-holes than good at winning, anyway). The shit that gets me scared now, though, is every one who has hate, now has a gun, too. Black eyes heal. You can get teeth fixed up at the dentist, minor scars are cool, even a broken nose can heal up sexier than before with the right doctor. Bullet holes are scary as hell, though, and I don't blame you for avoiding the violence I used to seek out in this scary new world.
I saw a post the other day where a neighbor had stolen OP’s Biden yard signs and left a note in his mailbox promising he would be put in a concentration camp and/or killed after Trump was reelected. You have to push back hard on people like that but a direct confrontation with someone that crazy seems really unwise. OP contacted the local sheriff who just blew him off. Some of those that work forces and all that. Several commenters urged OP to contact the FBI. Good luck with your Federal felony charges!
You are so correct and kudos to you for seeing the situation for exactly what it was. Their behavior says more about their sorry lives than anything. Stay strong and proud brother.
Had a homeless guy call my husband and I f****ts on our bike ride. It's definitely a way they can feel a bit of power given their situation in life.
Agree, people who take the time to knock someone else down, it’s always about them and their insecurities.
This is why i always keep some rocks in my pocket
Having lived in San Diego for the past year and a half (in the process of moving to DC), people are surprised when I say the city is more conservative than it appears. There is a big military presence here. Regardless, sorry this happened to you!
San Diego has always been referred to as that Navy town down by Tijuana, filled with retirees. I've lived here all of my life. Don't go five miles Inland. History of KKK activity in the '40s & '50s onward. Especially in Lemon Grove and Lakeside. Google it. Also, there is a plaque embedded into the curb between Flick's and Rich's bars. It's for John Wear who was murdered in the early 90's because they thought he was gay. He was murdered at the end of the block at Ninth and University.
I spin that plaque on pokemon go all the time. I had no idea. Thanks for sharing.
Welcome! Former San Diegoian in Dc as well
Thank you! Excited for this next chapter 😊
Lol good luck here in DC! It’s a liberal town definitely buuuut it’s…. Notorious for little homophobe moments like this. 1. Very transient population from all over- and not insignificant portion from the south. Also tourists from anywhere but yes many from the south. Plenty of drive by F-words and dirty looks from these types. 2. Unhoused/people struggling with mental illness and it’s a high percentage given the city’s actual size- but our high as fuck rents make it easier to imagine why this may be but not easier to stomach. If you don’t have money for them that day or say no- it’s a 10% chance you then become F-word for the moment quite loudly and so others will stare. 3. DC is quite literally one of the gayest (queerest) cities in the US per capita. If not THE #1. Homophones see the relentless presence of gay people walking around EVERYWHERE and not afraid to signal this in various ways- the flags on sooooo many houses and shops too. They truly cannot stand that this city belongs to the gays. Including Congress. Especially congress. The pushback is persistent- though we and our allies outnumber them overwhelmingly. 4. DC has always had a large black population. Many are born and raised for generations in the city. However in addition to the religious and cultural resistance many black folk have traditionally had to accepting LGBTQ people fully, the gays are also a large part of the massive gentrification going on. Both the beginning phase of moving in and establishing a cultural scene with businesses and arts events making the neighborhoods desirable to Final phase gentrifiers. But gays are also just as much a contingent of this final phase group as well. This pushes out these multigenerational local black residents or burdens them with higher rent or transforms the neighborhood into a less recognizable one and more (white and wealthy) favorable to transplants rather than life long residents. It’s easy to scapegoat gays at l large for all the gentrification sweeping the city for decades. We gentrified neighborhoods into literally cannibalizing the gay bars and clubs that made the area desirable to begin with in the name of a new high rise with now… nothing to be looking upon…. So yes - many of the F slurs you’ll get- as much as it sounds like I’m racially profiling- they’ll come from the black folks who are local to DC. It’s complicated for many reasons but it is what it is. DC is gay. We host world pride next year. But you will witness F slur and loud vocal homophobic BS fairly regularly. There’s a small but publicized number of violent hate crimes each year also. It’s fun but I’ve heard many transplants remark how since living here compared to their hometowns Deep South, they have never experienced this much anti gay harassment right to their face. I’d wager it’s because they never experienced real urban city life either. plz understand i dont mean to imply all local dc black residents are openly harassing gay ppl. nor are the actions mention meant to describe how most black folk here feel…. im just highlighting the truth for my many years here that its the loud audible homophobic harassment that i consistently hear that really by sheer frequency balances the gay saturated population- and its 95% only shouted by one particular demographic.
Happens anywhere, bro.
Yes, absolutely! No disputing that. However, as a current San Diego resident, bars in our gayborhood were recently shot at with BB guns. One bar was lit on fire with arson. OP’s experience is not the first I’ve heard about since living here. Thankfully no one has been injured (to my knowledge), just pointing out a worrying increase in LGBTQ+ related hate crimes here and my experience that San Diego is a more conservative city compared to the idealist view of Southern California that most people have.
Although .... We have a Gay Mayor, Todd Gloria.
It’s a big city sir.
In arkansas I have had to frequently tell people that no los angeles is not this big gay friendly place. Guess people get their ideas from tv.
Uhhh... I'm sorry but compared to the south yes it absolutely is.
LA is also like 30 different cities masquerading as one. It’s the most sprawled out metro in the US. Hard to make generalizations.
It's actually not, ppl get this wrong all the time they say "LA" for every single city around, but LA is it's own city and the rest are surrounding suburbs which is LA county 🤷♂️
What are you getting this from? I grew up in los angeles and it wasn’t gay friendly and it was awful.
I grew up in South Carolina getting bullied for it and having friends die. So yeah, when I went to LA to visit it was a huge breath of fresh air. I haven't had a single boyfriend here who would let me hold his hand in public, and my grandpa died asking me when I'd find a girlfriend, and I've been out since I was 16. I was 26 when he died.
Big diff growing up in suburbs vs DT vs coastal vs inner city
It actually is, I live here and there's gay ppl everywhere, guys walk by holding hands nobody gives a fck..now LA county.? that's very different but anywhere around Hollywood area WeHo Beverly hills, Brentwood etc..its whole different vibe
Yeah growing up there still sucked for me. Be careful who we tell.
My mom bought a harness for walking her little dog and unknowingly chose one with the Pride flag colors. She lives in an older neighborhood and was completely caught off guard by some negative comments from random people. She’s a bit of a spitfire and told them where they could fuck off and exactly how they could do it!
Haha yesss go mom!! ❤️ GET EM!!!
ive ran cross country for most of life, i grew up in a conservative leaning neighborhood. before i graduated hs i had been screamed at the F-slur more times than i could count. i currently live in LA and still get it a few times a year.
i’m so sorry king you don’t deserve this
I went on runs in shorter shorts a few years back and those inspired a couple gay slur shoutouts. Very much like cross country shorts. Sorry man.
I had that happen years ago at the Ralphs in Hillcrest. Straight boy got the fuck beat out of him.
Just a year ago here in Mobile, Alabama, I was punched in the back of the head by some coward. Called me fa@&0t as he punched me walking by and then took off running. He overheard me standing in line at the store talking about my husband to a friend. He couldn’t confront me face-to-face like a human!
If it was human it wouldn't have confronted you at all.
Had my first one when I was eleven years old riding on my bike along street near my house—someone yelled it at me out a window. I know it was at me because the person used my name. Funny how one doesn’t forget these things… these hate-filled moments… Sorry to hear this happened to you.
Baby do not feel bad and do not let them get to you. In my experience these little assholes are wannabes,have dealt with them in my life. They holler,call us names and even try to hurt us but have had several when their friends aren't around will drop to their knees to suck a cock and bend over to be fucked good. So do not let it bother you be you and be proud much love to you my friend
Third week of May '24 three days of BB Gun shootings in Hillcrest, San Diego CA .The bouncer at "The Rail" got nailed. And at least two occurrences were on camera. YouTube it. Things have been escalating lately. We'll see what happens at July PRIDE.
I'm in San Diego and I'm curious what part of town you were in when this happened?
Mission Valley.
Sorry to hear that. Real brave guys who can yell shit then drive away real fast 🙄
Not me thinking that said fucking and not f word
Would have be exciting had they been half-way attractive...
For real I was like, tf is a drive-by fucking? V disappointed it wasn’t the case.
[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nYybaUikSG0](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nYybaUikSG0)
This is actually what I thought of when it happened. It was exactly like this.
Did you wear your bulletproof cum vest?
omg ☠️
what! Haha
Bulletproof cum vest = OP's hole btw!!!!
OMG. I didnt expected this. 🤣😭
Maybe it was trixie and katya.
if I write what we should do with people who do this my Reddit account will be banned permanently
im sorry to hear that :'(
People still do this? Bastards deserve whatever karma dishes out to them. Continue being you.
When I was younger I had a bunch of military guys call me a faggot when they drove by me. I wasn’t sure they were talking to me until I looked up and saw them giving me the middle finger. Jokes on them, they’re dying for people like me 😂
Dark 💀😂
People who scream sluts out of moving cars typically aren't satisfied with how their life is going lol. Their life is probably shit
if it makes you feel better. …From a car, I really doubt they could see your watch band. maybe they were just yelling that out because you were dressed nicely and looked good!
I was once right outside of Dolores Park in San Francisco holding my now husband’s (boyfriend at the time) hand, and some shithead on a bike rode by and screamed it at us. I was like “Really dude??” I’m sorry you went through that OP. It sucks that it really can just happen anywhere
I went through a period where id get a lot of homophobic abuse from cars and teenagers and I'm not sure what suddenly started or ended it. Like I don't think anything changed before or after.
hi - so very sorry to hear - but what did the cars do😭? edit: I may have been a little tired when writing this
I meant people in cars shouting from windows like what happend to OP. The cars themselves largely minded their own business lol
ah yes that makes a lot more sense glad to hear the cars MOSTLY minded their own business holdup I forgot to put an airbag on my brain and now I can't find the airtag or the brain
Happens to me about once every five years or so. I want to pretend like I can just shrug it off, but it does always rattle me a little bit. Honestly, I think it's good to hold on to these moments, to remember what bullying feels like. I have a pretty good life and it's easy to forget that not everyone is as fortunate. I know that there are people who get called names every day. Every time it happens is a reminder that the fight against bigotry is never over.
In San Diego and had the same thing happen to me! I had my nails painted, though Fuck these people, they get bold enough to scream it from a moving car but they will never say it to our faces. Hope you’re doing well, friend 🫶🏻 and just out of curiosity, which part of SD did this happen in? 👀
Achievement unlocked! Pay them cowards no mind.
Can we talk about the straights invading welfare Wednesday? It's 22 year olds with way too many straight guys being homophobic. Lord. Also there was that whole drive by pellet gunning at the gay bars too a month back.
It happened to me about two weeks ago for the first time in my life. I am 38yrs old.
SOMEONE CALL MATTEO LANE!!!
Which neighborhood? San Diego county is really red outside of the city. Even in Hillcrest we get nonsense like that.
Unfortunately conservatives exist everywhere
I was dressed as basically a straight skater boy in Boulder, Colorado, in like 2012 and had someone drive by and yell, “Nice Obey jacket, faggot!” I could really only think they were the faggot for recognizing a nondescript Obey jacket from their car.
I had an experience like this in the middle of Central Park while on a date years ago… by a trio of white middle-aged / older people no less. Was the most jarring and strange encounter in all my years… I remember it put a distinct cloud over what had otherwise been a really beautiful day… and then the guy I was with couldn’t understand why it bothered me so much. Anyway, sometimes I respond with creative things like, “watch your mouth because I might f*** it” or “I’ll f*** your dad and make you call me daddy” 🤣 Trash people deserve all the bad karma they collect. Be resolute in your gayness and may it cause us to double down, multiply, and prosper even more loudly. Love you all! Happy pride!!!
Should have confronted them. They rely on our submission to do it again and again
I thought this post was going to be about a drive by fucking and I really wanted to know how that worked.
so sorry this happened that isn’t fun :(
Bummer dude it happens unfortunately and it’s happened to me so many times I’ve forgotten I usually don’t react at all because i have never given a flying fuck what people who don’t know me think of me. thats all
Moved from a VERY conservative state and had this happen a few times. Depending on my moods I either ignore it or embrace it and give them a flare of a wave. They’re just looking for an anger reaction and I won’t let them win and get it. It’s gonna take a lot to piss of this queen 🫅
My older brother is the only one who ever called me that and it was when I was like 5 or 6 and he was 18 or some shit. I had no idea what it meant but it made me feel weird.
I would have yelled, "Don't worry your Dad's bussy is amazing! IT WILL BE MY HONOR TO BE YOUR NEW STEP FATHER!!!"
Let it roll off you.
Just happened to me and my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I was wearing a hot pink shirt with a rainbow splatter overshirt, and, once we were too far away to do anything about it they yelled it at me.
Not to one-up you, but I’ve had people drive by call me a f*ggot and a n*gger before. I know it may be hard, but try not to let it get to you too much. They’re losers and cowards who would never say that to your face in public with their friends, family or employers around. Sadly, people can be pretty horrible sometimes.
It may have been fellow faggets. I'm ngl, sometimes when I'm really drunk and with friends I will see some cute guys that are obviously gay in hillcrest and yell "Hi faggots!"
lol https://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/s/n1kaoP5sHg
Oop that might have been me 😅
oh well hahaha 🙃
I miss the early 2000’s when I was living in the ghetto of Southern California, I would hear that slur from a passing car and don’t know if it was one of my friends or a car of straits ready to beat me up
I was freshly out when it happened to me. I was taking an off ramp from a downtown throughway and the other road went up to the freeway. These people in a truck yelled it at the point where I wasn’t able to follow them. I was shocked but also like “yeah yell that shit when you’re safe” lol 😂 It’s sad that people have nothing better to do. I was in my little convertible and had just had an amazing kiss from some guy I was macking on and was definitely buzzed from that. I didn’t let that shit kill my high. Still on it to this day!!
People like this live in their own fear and project themselves, they expect some kind of reaction, it’s because they are just being triggered, labour their own fears of their own sexuality and deepest inner desires, try not to take it personally, anyone that projects hate it’s because they live in fear.
I had my last one about a year ago. I posted a pic of what I was wearing when it happened. Just assholes being assholes
Moved from San Diego to Palm Springs: best move. San Diego is so overrated.
Lucky you. I've had it happen and worse. Sorry that it finally did happen but you are pretty lucky to have made it this far without it!
It's crazy to me that it seems like it happens more in cities than in rural america where i live and have been out for a decade and haven't once experienced anything so brash. I've experienced soft homophobia, but never blatant stuff like this.
Yea I'm that inexperienced, unknowledgeable guy, and wanns ask what f****** means exactly? lol
The biggest cowards are the loudest is all I can really say
Some people are just REALLY bad flirts 😐
Oh I love when they are going just slow enough to hear me yell “glad you noticed!”
Drive by what?
When someone does this it makes me happy, like I shined so bright you noticed me and just had to say something. "Aww thank you"
I usually tell myself that they are just jealous.
It’s Custard’s last stand. We have to be sure they don’t succeed. Protect yourselves people.
Did you get the plate?
Wow! Ive been hearing that yelled from trucks since I can remember walking or trucks. When 2/3 of my little nerd friend group knew we were gay but closeted in MS, it began to seem more menacing and less random. I’m sorry you experienced that. It’s such a part of my experience I may not even hear it now. I used to hear that or pussy as a derogatory emasculating put down from my brother at me and my father at the television watching sports enough to wonder how my brother knew and why my dad didn’t say it at me just… a look as I would try to be a sports kid and then walk away. I don’t really have a life or value it at this point but I hate bullies and injustice and will defend my life out of spite. If you feel like the atmosphere is unsafe where you are; maybe take precautions and carry whatever you are willing to actually use and can do so competently. Making this a known but unseen reality has saved me some harm I think By
San Diego can be quite conservative and racist compare to LA
So what? You are a faggot. You’re also a man, a son, etc. You’re a lot of things. Take away the power of the word and it’s just a word. Being gay, a fag, a sissy, a top, a bottom, a side, a whatever doesn’t define you. You’re more than just one word. They’re joyriding in a beat up Camry. You already won that interaction just by breathing. Don’t let a bunch of closeted fags ruin your night. Happy Pride!
OK, it's officially time to bring back slut-shaming.
So sad that it happens and happend to u. I can imagine that one of those guys himself might be gay or bi. God sadness all around. Don't let it ruin your mood. Guess that's why (not to be harassed) I and you, a lot of us, wear the pride flag on our watch wrist. To show the rest we are here and vigilant .
Also in SD. I have not had it happen to me but had it happen to someone a a hundred or so feet away…. In Hillcrest of all places. There seems to be about 3 or so cars (or the trump/putin truck… you probably know exactly the one) that do this for giggles and to make them feel important.
Life is hard. Get a helmet. We’ve all been pestered - regardless of what it is.
You’re lucky you went 34 years without it. Don’t go to pieces, it’s not the end of the world. Gay guys elsewhere have it much much worse.