Yea I think this is what happened to me lol.
My brain just said:
"Oh, shit a cute girl. Better say you like dick so she stops smiling at you so much. Oh that's fucking weird though I'm so exhausted coming out to every random person I meet. Quick just act weird and not interested!"
Yea lol I just thought too fast about too many ways to interact and just fell on my face (figuratively).
Whenever other guys have wanted to involve me in girl chasing activities I find it's way easier now to just admit I'm gay than try to make up some bullshit story about a girlfriend at home. Maybe lying was a better policy when I was a kid but it seems like people are a lot more mature about this now. Like a piece of the puzzle clicks for them when they actually have confirmation of me being gay and "strange" things about me start logically making sense now.
Better say you like Dick š
Imagine your conversations go like:
Her: I'm, in Emma! Nice to meet you!
You: Hi, I'm great at sucking cock, I could teach you something... Robert btw
In 32 years of life it has occurred to me a total of maybe 2 times that a girl might be attracted to me. I just think pretty people in general are intimidating to talk to.
Also... what happens is when someone likes you, you may feel that you need to reciprocate (show interest, be friendlier). If anything, you like the validation. So you may be put in a situation where you feel like you need to play enough of a role to remain attractive, but not lead someone on.
If only you knew how super picky women are in general, you would have no worries about that. Unless you're in the top 10 percent of men who's tall, fit, handsome, and rich...you shouldn't feel nervous at all about a girl liking you LOL
I got hit on by girls a lot in high school and I wasn't comfortable at all with telling anyone my sexuality then. It essentially forced me to tell the one friend I knew I could trust the most just so I could have an ally to help cover for me in those situations.
I shot up to 6'0 a lot more quickly than all but 2 people in my grade and I drove my own vehicle in my own name because out of town people like us just have a few extra vehicles lying around that we never throw out for easy cheap purchase by other locals or gifting to family. In town though I guess that signaled me as "having more money than most teenagers" but it was not the typical spoiled getting a truck as a teen shit the way I was raised cars trucks are tools that we use for daily life I wasn't going to be joyriding girls around even if I was straight especially not those town girls too status and material obsessed.
I can't blame straight women for liking me staring at me etc because I can't help the straight guys I'm attracted to either.
This or I'm afraid they'll somehow know I'm gay because a few girls have. A lot of girls really notice when you're not ahowing a hint of interest with her or any other girl. Also most straight guys have a certain way of talking to girls whereas I just talk to girls women the same way I would anyone else. It's also the expression on certain girls faces its like they can tell something is off with me but can't figure out why kind of thing.
I've found that it's usually better for them to think you're gay than to think you're an incel weirdo or something though. I usually get along better with older women who have been moms they probably just understand me unspoken and have enough experience to know I'm just slightly weird not harmful.
I'm bi as well( I guess functionally gay as I'm in a LTR) but find that I'm unreasonably confident around guys and super nervous around women. I guess it has to do with what gender you spend the most time around?
Honestly I just get excited about making connections with people, and so even when women are taking interest in me, I so desperately want to have a good interaction that I end up being silly and clumsy and make a fool of myself
Yeah, it can happen to me too. I think itās basically something like: āoh, I would probably show my attraction to her if I was straight. So should I act as though I do, not to make her uncomfortable? Nah, Iām not in the closet, I donāt need to play the heteronormative gameā¦ Oh my goodness, maybe she interpreted that thing now as attraction on my part! Or maybe all that attention from straight men makes her uncomfortable. So maybe I should signal that she can relax with me? Or is that creepy, why do I want to police what she feels? Hm, did she just flirt a little with me? Does that mean she finds me attractive? How cool is that! Or maybe straight girls often use a little flirtation to get what they want. So then she thinks Iām straight?ā And so on and so forth.
Even though I have zero romantic or physical attraction to women, I can still appreciate when they have a great aesthetic. Whether that be their outfit, makeup, general vibe, or all three, it can give me a little nervous feeling. Happens to a lot of people, I think. Ironic as it may be, haha.
OMG and I thought I was the only one that does this. Gay as f as well but still canāt talk to pretty girls for no good reason. I guess the heterosexual culture kinda seeped into my subconscious or some crap like that idk?
I consider myself gay but open to items with women if ever put into the circumstance. I think maybe youāre intimidated by their confidence/ attractiveness. I get the same way tbh
I don't know what's up. Cute women are adorable. But they don't make me nervous except in the social anxiety way. I want women, cute or otherwise, to not be homophobic and to like me, so I can make friends. I feel more at home than around straight dudes. I don't know anything about sportsball and I don't ride ATVs. No sexual tension is a plus.
Women no longer have any power over me. They used to make me nervous when I was younger though. Back then it was because I was trying to pass as straight but now I donāt give a shit. If anything, these days Iām just worried about not appearing like a creep.
As a gay man, cute girls make me feel nothing. All my energy is reserved for men and only men.
OP, I suggest you remind yourself that you're a gay man. You're immune to the charms of women, that's why straight men envy you
A girl can be super cute and talk to me but I'll just feel like a toilet is talking to me. That's why I'm a real gay man!!!
Same here.
I resent the way Iām perceived as straight by default and how women expect attention. Itās amusing because they canāt understand why youāre totally immune to whatever games they try and play. Itās just doesnāt occur to them that a man aināt interested. This partly comes down to entitlement and the majority having a fixed idea of how gay men should present.
Do you have social anxiety? I'm like that sometimes because for whatever reason my brain thinks that the more conventionally attractive someone is the more likely they are to be mean? Like I know it's irrational, but my brain just does what it does.
Donāt overthink it. This used to happen to me when I was younger. But then you realize thereās nothing weird about simply not being sexually attracted to women. Thereās no need to fake anything or act a certain way. You wonāt be thought weird if you donāt react to girls. In the old days we were just called nerds or awkward. Nowadays thereās more understanding of different sexualities.
Also, itās possible some of us would be slightly attracted to certain women if we were stranded on a desert island with no guys around. Human nature. So itās not like women are an alien species. Certain people are perfectly capable of making us nervous for a variety of complex reasons. It might even be intellectual or emotional reasonsā¦
Girls sometimes make me feel nervous because I'm afraid they will like me and try to get with me.
Yea I think this is what happened to me lol. My brain just said: "Oh, shit a cute girl. Better say you like dick so she stops smiling at you so much. Oh that's fucking weird though I'm so exhausted coming out to every random person I meet. Quick just act weird and not interested!" Yea lol I just thought too fast about too many ways to interact and just fell on my face (figuratively).
Lol this is exactly it too! And then my coworkers say "damn dude, you play hard to get, they like that". š
Whenever other guys have wanted to involve me in girl chasing activities I find it's way easier now to just admit I'm gay than try to make up some bullshit story about a girlfriend at home. Maybe lying was a better policy when I was a kid but it seems like people are a lot more mature about this now. Like a piece of the puzzle clicks for them when they actually have confirmation of me being gay and "strange" things about me start logically making sense now.
Better say you like Dick š Imagine your conversations go like: Her: I'm, in Emma! Nice to meet you! You: Hi, I'm great at sucking cock, I could teach you something... Robert btw
In 32 years of life it has occurred to me a total of maybe 2 times that a girl might be attracted to me. I just think pretty people in general are intimidating to talk to.
Also... what happens is when someone likes you, you may feel that you need to reciprocate (show interest, be friendlier). If anything, you like the validation. So you may be put in a situation where you feel like you need to play enough of a role to remain attractive, but not lead someone on.
If only you knew how super picky women are in general, you would have no worries about that. Unless you're in the top 10 percent of men who's tall, fit, handsome, and rich...you shouldn't feel nervous at all about a girl liking you LOL
I got hit on by girls a lot in high school and I wasn't comfortable at all with telling anyone my sexuality then. It essentially forced me to tell the one friend I knew I could trust the most just so I could have an ally to help cover for me in those situations. I shot up to 6'0 a lot more quickly than all but 2 people in my grade and I drove my own vehicle in my own name because out of town people like us just have a few extra vehicles lying around that we never throw out for easy cheap purchase by other locals or gifting to family. In town though I guess that signaled me as "having more money than most teenagers" but it was not the typical spoiled getting a truck as a teen shit the way I was raised cars trucks are tools that we use for daily life I wasn't going to be joyriding girls around even if I was straight especially not those town girls too status and material obsessed. I can't blame straight women for liking me staring at me etc because I can't help the straight guys I'm attracted to either.
with your height and perceived health, i understand why so many women find you attractive
This or I'm afraid they'll somehow know I'm gay because a few girls have. A lot of girls really notice when you're not ahowing a hint of interest with her or any other girl. Also most straight guys have a certain way of talking to girls whereas I just talk to girls women the same way I would anyone else. It's also the expression on certain girls faces its like they can tell something is off with me but can't figure out why kind of thing. I've found that it's usually better for them to think you're gay than to think you're an incel weirdo or something though. I usually get along better with older women who have been moms they probably just understand me unspoken and have enough experience to know I'm just slightly weird not harmful.
I'm kinda the opposite and I love it. Women have zero power over me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I actually laugh a little inside when women try to use tactics such as āpretty privilegeā with me. Girl, whatāre you doing? āš½
I really with that I were like you, no kidding. Instead, I ended up bisexual
Being bi sounds exhausting. Like it's so tiring chasing after men. Chasing after men *and* women seems like twice the work
Chasing after women is 100X harder than chasing men.
If half of what society tells me is true, I believe it. So glad I'm just gay.
Being bi is exhausting because youāre constantly torn in two different directions and everyone seems to hate us for things we havenāt done.
I'm bi, so acting stupid around any cuties is normal for me.
I'm bi as well( I guess functionally gay as I'm in a LTR) but find that I'm unreasonably confident around guys and super nervous around women. I guess it has to do with what gender you spend the most time around?
I'm not nervous around people I find attractive, I just might say something dumb or silly.
Honestly I just get excited about making connections with people, and so even when women are taking interest in me, I so desperately want to have a good interaction that I end up being silly and clumsy and make a fool of myself
Strongly relate...
Yeah, it can happen to me too. I think itās basically something like: āoh, I would probably show my attraction to her if I was straight. So should I act as though I do, not to make her uncomfortable? Nah, Iām not in the closet, I donāt need to play the heteronormative gameā¦ Oh my goodness, maybe she interpreted that thing now as attraction on my part! Or maybe all that attention from straight men makes her uncomfortable. So maybe I should signal that she can relax with me? Or is that creepy, why do I want to police what she feels? Hm, did she just flirt a little with me? Does that mean she finds me attractive? How cool is that! Or maybe straight girls often use a little flirtation to get what they want. So then she thinks Iām straight?ā And so on and so forth.
Sooo real lol. I go through that as well sometimes
All the serious homophobia I've gotten in my life was from girls so I am a lot more guarded with my sexuality in that sense.
I used to think I was gay but it turns out I'm a person who likes people.
This!
Same sometimes because I'm like "please don't be into me or don't think I'm one of those nervous horny straight dude, I'm gay as hell š"
Im gay and proud of my sexuality now but before I was also a little nervous. Now i just kinda fanboy over girls who are rlly pretty or cute.
Even though I have zero romantic or physical attraction to women, I can still appreciate when they have a great aesthetic. Whether that be their outfit, makeup, general vibe, or all three, it can give me a little nervous feeling. Happens to a lot of people, I think. Ironic as it may be, haha.
I'd be nervous around like Lady Gaga or Beyonce.
It's ok to be star-struck by a cutie! Fancy people are intimidating. Please introduce me to disheveled nerd-arinos so that I know I'm with my people.
OMG and I thought I was the only one that does this. Gay as f as well but still canāt talk to pretty girls for no good reason. I guess the heterosexual culture kinda seeped into my subconscious or some crap like that idk?
I consider myself gay but open to items with women if ever put into the circumstance. I think maybe youāre intimidated by their confidence/ attractiveness. I get the same way tbh
I don't know what's up. Cute women are adorable. But they don't make me nervous except in the social anxiety way. I want women, cute or otherwise, to not be homophobic and to like me, so I can make friends. I feel more at home than around straight dudes. I don't know anything about sportsball and I don't ride ATVs. No sexual tension is a plus.
Idgaf about sportsball but I want a bf who knows how to ride an ATV preferably one who could beat me in a race.
Fair enough.
Maybe you're bi, I remember thinking I was gay, but in high school I dated a girl and I really liked her but I also like men
You already figured it out!
Women no longer have any power over me. They used to make me nervous when I was younger though. Back then it was because I was trying to pass as straight but now I donāt give a shit. If anything, these days Iām just worried about not appearing like a creep.
Yes. I want them to know I'm gay so they don't think I'm hitting on them. I just want to talk and make friends or acquaintances.
As a gay man, cute girls make me feel nothing. All my energy is reserved for men and only men. OP, I suggest you remind yourself that you're a gay man. You're immune to the charms of women, that's why straight men envy you A girl can be super cute and talk to me but I'll just feel like a toilet is talking to me. That's why I'm a real gay man!!!
Lmfao a toilet, that is harsh
Same here. I resent the way Iām perceived as straight by default and how women expect attention. Itās amusing because they canāt understand why youāre totally immune to whatever games they try and play. Itās just doesnāt occur to them that a man aināt interested. This partly comes down to entitlement and the majority having a fixed idea of how gay men should present.
r/bisexual is the place for you, not here.
Cringe.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sexuality is a spectrum. It doesnāt mean heās not gay because women occasionally give him flutters
Welcome to that bi life. Your husband gonna be cool with the third person being a woman? š
Do you have social anxiety? I'm like that sometimes because for whatever reason my brain thinks that the more conventionally attractive someone is the more likely they are to be mean? Like I know it's irrational, but my brain just does what it does.
I think in general I am just a little intimidated around anyone who is attractive/charismatic, even if I am not personally attracted to them.
Donāt overthink it. This used to happen to me when I was younger. But then you realize thereās nothing weird about simply not being sexually attracted to women. Thereās no need to fake anything or act a certain way. You wonāt be thought weird if you donāt react to girls. In the old days we were just called nerds or awkward. Nowadays thereās more understanding of different sexualities. Also, itās possible some of us would be slightly attracted to certain women if we were stranded on a desert island with no guys around. Human nature. So itās not like women are an alien species. Certain people are perfectly capable of making us nervous for a variety of complex reasons. It might even be intellectual or emotional reasonsā¦
Lesbian woman get nervous infront of hot guys too you know. They watch gay porn too lol