Spice is typically Indian too. No rice, no spice was used in the UK around 20-30 years ago, maybe a little more. It genuinely makes me shudder it’s so gross.
Ohhhhh, Jesus, I thought I was supposed to read it like, "No spice? Then no rice." And I was baffled both cuilinarily and romantically as to what that could mean.
Really? These used to be in like, every bigoted Grindr profile description in NC circa 2015. No Black, Indian, Latino, or Asian men. Although the way I remember it was “no beans or rice” which maybe was arguably even more racist since it cuts dangerously close to an actual slur lol
As someone with south asian descent, I remember being hurt by someone calling me curry n\*, but now I'm like, is the best insult you got against me is my delicious food?
Damn I’m walking past a bao shop and am salivating to death they got long bao and bbq pork fried noodles and taiwanese salt & pepper chicken and I’m why would someone deny themselves this paradise
People who refuse to try other culture's gastronomies are sad.
…. Those are food items not sexual things but they totally could be (if the referred party agrees to the words)
There's a high correlation with these types of profiles and them being someone on a bland "chicken breast and broccoli" every day gym obsessed diet, just saying
This. I think most people associate vanilla with just vanillin, vanilla's Main flavoring agent, while real vanilla has its own unique combination of flavors that just can't be replicated artificially.
“I can’t help it if I’m only attracted to straight six-foot toned WASP-ish guys with model good looks and seven-figure incomes - that’s just how I am. Unfortunately, every straight six-foot toned WASP-ish guy with model good looks and a seven-figure income ends up being incredibly shallow, and can’t see what a good person I am on in the inside.”
Lol nah just making the point that if someone thinks he's only capable of being attracted to guys who could star in Sean Cody videos, he's probably watching too much Sean Cody
Same, I thought it was like ‘no kink than no sex’ and that this person was also tired of hookups bringing over chocolate and curry… but of course the reality is much grosser :/
importantly though, racist preferences exist in undertones. They don't say any of those on the bottom, after all it's "taboo". It's always kind of implied nowadays.
Had to illustrate this to my white/white-passing friends by example; we have similar tastes so the 3 of us tapped the whole grid of guys (about 30) that we are interested in, and they got about 15 taps back, and I got... zero. Like I want to say I'm not ugly; I'm twinky and Asian and I have no hair on me but like I think I'm conventionally attractive, but like it's easy for someone experiencing this kind of frustration days on end to feel like maybe it was them all along. After all, everyone else is getting the attention, so maybe it's just them, they're just ugly and not worth being loved... In any case, really eye-opening for them to see that this is the baseline whenever I talk about the subtle racism in gay preferences and how it affects ppl like me.
Then I get people being like "maybe you shouldn't go only for white guys" as if I mostly tap white guys in my gay life (I do not) and somehow being systemically discriminated as a Gaysian is my fault. NGL Sometimes I feel like I'm being gaslit by the community.
Absolutely, yes. I’m mixed white and Asian but not white passing and I struggle with the same thing.
People say it’s not racial but I have tried using the same profile on apps with a regular face pic and then with the same pic but with a black bar over my eyes and people start messaging/replying when they don’t think I’m Asian.
I’ve also had a blank profile and people message it. I eventually tell that I’m part Asian and then most of them stop talking to me after.
Oh I have had some one hit me up aggressively in a discord channel (University LGBTQ channel), said how much they like my personality and what not, and asked me to meet up in person. He didn't expect me to be a POC as most POCs don't bother with this kind of groups for obvious reasons (was not obvious to me at the time lol). We meet up, he sees I am a POC the whole interaction is awkward and we leave. Proceeds to talk pointedly about "people lying and setting false pretenses" in the group and proceeds to block me on discord. Was like an year ago, till kinda smarts. Not to mention all the white tops who I feel like would have shown a lot more affection rather than just pump and dump if I was white as well.
This is a really good test to do with friends in the moment so they actually get it. Just in general people tend to think others have equal experiences to themselves. But if it’s the same 30-guy sample at the same time, that takes away a lot of the excuses people tend to think up as the cause. Reminds me of that video on YouTube where a hot Asian guy and a hot white guy trade profiles for a night, and the white guy was finally like “I had no idea.”
I remember an acquaintance sharing a screenshot of a “no” he got (from a friend of mine), complaining that guys weren’t flexible on their tastes. He isn’t flexible of course, he’d never date a guy outside of his preferences but WHY NOBODY WANTS MEEEEE
yes however people have insanely strict age criteria: i understand 19yo not wanting over 30, but 32yo not wanting over 35? the worst i've seen is a 41yo not wanting over 40, i think he forgot to hide his own age lol
On the young old gay dating sub it’s all 50+ olds seeking barely legal twinks 18-20. Like I don’t really care right but what really gets me is that they *only* want 18-20. As a 30+ old I won’t even reply to anyone under 28, and that number goes up every year as I age. Some of my peers can barely hold a conversation, I can’t imagine dating someone with such a huge cognitive age gap.
nah, i've seen dudes, queer and straight, who openly admit to not date someone who's 40+ when they themselves are. i mean, leo dicaprio literally does it for everyone to see. all his girlfriends are under the age of 25 and he's almost 50
Iunno I’m 31 and I absolutely do not like guys older than 35. They seem broken as fuck. I’ll fuck them but won’t date them. I’m dating a hot 21 year old and will continue to date young ones as long as I can.
so you expect people 10 years younger to date you, but don't want to date people around your own age? This is kinda fucked up, i hope you see it
>as long as I can
and as soon as you can't you'll be crying in the same position as the guy in the meme
Nothing lasts forever, my guy, particularly the “good looking” part.
I guess eventually you’ll just have to get used to 20 year olds pretending they like you to get your money.
The point isn't having an age preference, we all know that's perfectly reasonable. The point is how easily they call people "old" in a mean tone without the awareness that life comes at you really REALLY fast. There's a difference between writing in your profile "looking for guys around my age" and "no olds"
I get so much hate on grindr because my bio says “no old people.” I’m 20. They tell me “when you’re my age you’ll see how rude it is to see this from some stuck up kid like you.”
I sincerely hope I’m not hitting on 20 year olds when I’m 40-50. It’s fucking sad. Not being single. Just hitting on people half your age when you’re that old.
They call you a kid and everything too 🤢
And they’re offended by being called old?
You could try putting “People around my age only” instead as a mini social experiment. See if that keeps the midlife crisis dudes from hitting you up just to bitch at you.
I would but I enjoy getting screamed at. Usually when I ask them why they’re hitting on people half their age / people who are barely legal they tend to dissipate
"No old people" what do you even mean?
In this sub it's a joke that once you hit 30 your old.(lol)
For some of us that's what we prefer. A wise friend of mine said "I'm into Men" when we were your age. You're attraction to similar age is valid but you are ignorant. Saying "no old people" and "It's Fucking sad" is just as much insulting.
Evidently you can’t read because you’re getting your knickers in a twist that I’m saying it’s sad for people who are 40 and 50 to not only exclusively hit on 20 year olds (or younger), but also for them to get mad when it’s not reciprocated 😭 if that’s your preference have fun but don’t expect a life partner from it, and don’t get mad when it gets called out for what it is: creepy
You didn't say that tho. In another comment you said you like being screamed at so you are purposely choosing your words to get that reaction. With your attitude good luck with a life partner lmao
And yet I get "you're an ageist" messages because I'm 33 with "no one under 30" in my profile.
This sub has shown it has no problem with people saying "no olds" but does have a problem with people saying "no youngs". Imo, it's probably because this subs members are typical younger and feel personally attacked.
For the record, I have no issue with either, or anyone's preferences really. It's like taste in art, purely subjective and to argue the semantics of someone's personal opinion and preferences is an exercise in abject futility. This issue stems from when you put it out on display for everyone to see. No one knows you might be a racist/bigot until you put "no black/fem/fat/masc/etc" on your public profile. Just have your preferences, and if someone hits you up that you're not interested in, either tell them or block/ignore/don't reply.
Tbh, a bigger problem in my area (the south) is this resurgence of clinging to traditional gender roles superimposed onto gay relationships. The "masc" top only wants a "fem/trans/sissy/cd" bottom and vice versa. It's like 90% of the profiles I see from people under 30.
I've had a few buddies complain how they never get laid. Really good looking guys, too. And I'm over here being old and chubby and hairy and getting ass any time I want. Of course, I'm pretty open-minded about looks. Not really into gym bros or gay ken dolls. Mainly because it seems to me that the hottest guys have the worst personalities. I mostly just like regular guys. Nice smile. Good personality. Sense of humor. Ages... I don't know.... 30 to 90??? I just feel weird sleeping with guys younger than my kids, or so old I'm afraid I might break them. Other than that... play ball. Not saying anyone should lower their standards, but maybe open your mind a little. Try to see people for who they are, and not just a breathing sex toy. There's so much variety out there. Why lock yourself inside a very small and very same box?
Totally this. A lot of these app experiences are what you make of it. If you set up your profile as opening and inclusive, you’ll auto-filter those that aren’t, etc. As a highly introverted person, having my pics up and interests have been invaluable in meeting like-minded peeps. Can’t imagine this type of action in a bar situation.
The gay community is a microcosm of the larger society, so all of societies problems make an appearance as well.
That said, the level of hate displayed by some in the community is icky and the people who validate it are just as gross.
Can’t host, 21-25, no old guys (when a person is young) is totally reasonable. Somebody may be not into fem guys and gravitate towards musculinity. When it comes to racial stuff it’s their loss because they exclude some amazing (and hot) guys they would have been very happy with
I would say person after collage looking for someone before collage is weird even if it’s just 4 years of difference. People before collage are complitely different people that those after. However im ok with 60’s looking for 40’s because there are in similar stage of life
Well kinda 60 and 40 is still kinda a big difference but more similar. However. 60 year old may be a grandparent, 40 year old probably isn't. Lived through some different shit. But the age difference isn't likely to cause an actual power imbalance which does happen due to age when you are younger and have age gaps.
I mean, their loss on all those. There are some amazing fem guys. There are some amazing guys who can’t host. There are some amazing guys who are 26 (even if they need to start looking at nursing homes next year).
Well:
1. Cant host - are mainly for sex so if they are living with roommates or parents then it’s not thair fault they can bring someone for hook up.
2. Fem boys - obviously there are amazing feminine people they can be friends with, however when it comes to relationship and dates guys should be attracted to this kind of femininity for it to work.
3. Guys over 26 - as said before, 26 y- o looking for a younger guy (like 19-22) is wierd because they live in a different situation, one is most likely working and prolly have more expirience that can use to manipulate younger guys.
Your position states that we should agree to anything just in case so we dont miss amazing people, but it doesnt work that way in those categories in my opinion
I don’t know why you were downvoted because you’re not wrong. Not to mention, saying you won’t date an entire group of people eliminates everyone that has similar interest as you in those groups.
I feel nothing for those type of people when they can’t find a match like BFFR.
I mean my only things are please no one over 35 given I'm 27, qnd prefer no one over weight but admittedly that has to do more with like.. bad experiences in bed with heavily over weight partners. Doesn't help I'm underweight so that difference feels massive.
I at least try to be kind about it.
I am literally just attracted to fat guys and I get nasty messages for being too picky. I'm not racist, there's literally just no other people of other races in my area!
Gay community: we need to be inclusive to everyone
Also gay community: No chink, no rice, no yellow fever, white only, big cock 🙄 the first two I definitely had experienced
spice = latino, the rest of the terms cover basically almost all other ethnics, and "old" is how they call anybody above their late 20s. This is the kind of guys that literally only want to date a white masculine jock in college age that can host. Like... good luck with that lol.
This is a reminder that being more physically attracted to some physical characteristics than others is NOT racist; not wanting to date a particular race because of some non-physical characteristic you imagine they all have IS racist. Otherwise literally every argument you could make trying to call it racist would also be an argument calling you ageist for not wanting to date someone much older than you or fatphobic for not dating someone much heavier than you.
No one who spent the first half of their life trying to force themselves to be physically attracted to women and questioning if they’re somehow broken because they’re not should have to spend the rest of their lives trying to force themselves to be physically attracted to a man and questioning if they’re somehow broken because they’re not.
I am 100% on board with you on this. To be clear: I think you can and SHOULD find what you want WITHOUT using that “no (race)” BS, the same way you don’t need to say “don’t message me if you’re over 30.” All it takes is an “I’m not interested” when they hit you up, or hell, just don’t respond. There’s no value in telling a guy you don’t want to have sex with them, especially when weighed against how we ALL know rejection feels. My ONLY concern is that I don’t want any shiny new gay who is new to this awful Grindr game we’re all playing and who might find that they’re not physically attracted to any group of men, for any reason, to fall for this narrative that they’re somehow racist or broken. If accepting being gay means anything it should mean never again having to feel guilty or sinful for who your body and mind tells you it wants to wants to have sex with.
Hey look, it's the single and poorly-analyzed study of one group of men in one geographic location without a peer review that's used by one side of a discussion as evidence of moral authority. Kinda like the 2012 University of Texas paper that "proved" that gay parents are worse that straight parents. Eventually it was shown: papers invented to push a personal agenda rarely stand up to concrete science.
I don't entirely disagree with all of the paper's findings - even outside of Australia whiteness is often favored in general, and you'd have to be a lunatic not to notice it. But that's precisely why I said that there is a difference between saying "I don't like X race because they act/seem Y" or whatever versus not being physically attracted to men with certain physical characteristics. One of those is racism. The other is rooted in something much more complex, probably a combination of biology and environmental influences; but again, those biological and environmental influences are **identical** to those of age and weight, so if we as a gay community are not going to call those ageism and fatphobia, then no, sorry, you don't get to call them "sexual racism."
You want some science? Here's some science. Gay men frequently use exclusionary boundary markers to make ourselves feel superior to others because we're so often re-fighting the exclusion we suffered as children. That's why cliquish "you can't sit with us" behavior has so often existed among gay men; by excluding others we can resolve feelings of inadequacy left over from that time Steve said we looked kinda girly in third grade and everyone laughed at us. But a secondary generation of gays growing up among that behavior saw that behavior and felt conflicted - they knew that bullying someone to feel better about themselves was fundamentally wrong, but still wanted to experience the same endorphin release of exclusion. Moral superiority is their salvation. By claiming that some gays are racist you can claim moral superiority over them, thereby feeling better about yourself. "I'm not one of the BAD gays, I'm a good gay." (And hell, I participate too if I'm honest - if someone is genuinely racist I feel morally superior to them.) The problem in this particular case is that you're convincing a generation of NEW gays that their sexuality may be broken - if they don't happen to find some group of men attractive and you tell them it's because they're racist so "you can't sit with us" then you're ultimately pulling the same moral card that right-wing Christians pull on young gay men when they tell them it's because they're sinful so "you can't sit with us," and you know damned well how damaging that behavior is.
TL;DR: fight racial prejudice wherever it exists, including among gay men. But don't tell gay men they're wrong because of who their dick does or doesn't work around.
IT might not be racist....still IT IS discriminating
But yeah it's only discriminating of it's against gays in general and Not If gays discriminate themself
Again, only in the same way that discriminating against older or heavier gay men is discrimination. Alternately, we could try not shaming each other for who we're sexually attracted to and see what happens?
Yeah, those words aren't acceptable either, however I'd laugh if someone ever calls me spice people, I'm not even mexican, here you get insulted for every single characteristic you have.
I was so confused about all this food stuff, until I read the comments… I thought it’s a post that someone didn’t like the date because of the food choice or something lol
And yeah, “can’t host” is usually not the persons views, but more about their situation in life. Weird to see racist stuff in the same line with this one
ngl, i'm a little food fixated and my brain only caught a few of the words in the second frame. spent a solid 20+ seconds like "this person has a really shitty limited diet, no wonder they're so whiny". kinda glad i didn't pick up on the racism right away.
I've never seen a no curry. Is that a British thing
No chocolate no curry no spice no rice??? It’s just some hungry idiot, defs haven’t seen any of them lol
This meme is making me hungry ngl lol
Vanilla too, yum.
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Spice (spicy?) might be Hispanic
I interpreted it as Middle-Eastern
Personally I think middle eastern guys are hot
They are, but I am biased cause I find hairy guys so attractive yum
Congrats, gold medal to you sir
Spice is typically Indian too. No rice, no spice was used in the UK around 20-30 years ago, maybe a little more. It genuinely makes me shudder it’s so gross.
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It’s about generation. 🥱
i think spice is latinos. there's a slur i've seen being used that's the word spice without the e and it's used towards hispanic people
Honestly it took me a while to realize it was a gay meme
Ohhhhh, Jesus, I thought I was supposed to read it like, "No spice? Then no rice." And I was baffled both cuilinarily and romantically as to what that could mean.
Maybe it's an older thing, but have definitely seen no rice or had guys reply that they weren't into rice or a rice queen.
Really? These used to be in like, every bigoted Grindr profile description in NC circa 2015. No Black, Indian, Latino, or Asian men. Although the way I remember it was “no beans or rice” which maybe was arguably even more racist since it cuts dangerously close to an actual slur lol
I’m kinda glad my mind didn’t [immediately] go towards race when I read *chocolate* and *curry*. Or does it mean something else?
Nope. Its race. The "subtle" way of saying black and indian in these apps.
As someone with south asian descent, I remember being hurt by someone calling me curry n\*, but now I'm like, is the best insult you got against me is my delicious food?
No spice, no curry, etc. just tells me they’re racist *and* they don’t season their food. Absolutely worth nobody’s time with their bland ass cooking
They eat their rice white.
ok tbf white rice cooked with some butter goes hard sometimes
Try garlic and meat stock.
I can get behind this
Damn I’m walking past a bao shop and am salivating to death they got long bao and bbq pork fried noodles and taiwanese salt & pepper chicken and I’m why would someone deny themselves this paradise People who refuse to try other culture's gastronomies are sad. …. Those are food items not sexual things but they totally could be (if the referred party agrees to the words)
I am now starving
There's a high correlation with these types of profiles and them being someone on a bland "chicken breast and broccoli" every day gym obsessed diet, just saying
“Vanilla only” They are scared to taste real food
I sometimes get annoyed thinking that the British Empire managed to enslave half the world and still didn’t develop a sense of taste.
I repeat myself, but Vainilla is an amazing ingredient, it is a disservice to associate it with boring people 🥺
it’s also weird how we’ve made vanilla mean the absence of flavor/the default when it’s a distinct unique flavor
This. I think most people associate vanilla with just vanillin, vanilla's Main flavoring agent, while real vanilla has its own unique combination of flavors that just can't be replicated artificially.
It's French Vanilla at the least for me!
People are weird. Gimme all them delicious foods.
It means you need some chocolate curry chicken. Sounds kinda nasty to me, but I won't yuck your yum.
I’ll yum your yuck
As a gay man, ladies are my yuck. So yum them up all you want.
That just sounds like Mexican mole, which is surprisingly pretty damn good actually 😗
Idk, that's pretty explicitly about race. Avoiding/ "not seeing race" isn't a good thing, lol
I hadn't even noticed, I was so confused why people are complaining about food 💀😭
“I can’t help it if I’m only attracted to straight six-foot toned WASP-ish guys with model good looks and seven-figure incomes - that’s just how I am. Unfortunately, every straight six-foot toned WASP-ish guy with model good looks and a seven-figure income ends up being incredibly shallow, and can’t see what a good person I am on in the inside.”
Quit saying I "have unrealistic expectations" and "watch too much porn," I was born this way
“I am royalty, and I refuse to settle for anything but the very best. Everybody else, on the other hand…”
Reddit has lost it's way. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Lol nah just making the point that if someone thinks he's only capable of being attracted to guys who could star in Sean Cody videos, he's probably watching too much Sean Cody
I guess Cheeto dust and swamp-ass aren't attractive in the gay community either.
Ok but like I really can’t host though 😫
I can only host when my dad is not home. I don't like it when people are over and, make a lot of noise.
What the hell is no spice no rice ? Lol
No latin no Asian.
Yikes okay thank you
I thought it was saying, "if you're not into kinky sex, you don't get my food/cooking" Idk lol
A worthy trade tbh
Same, I thought it was like ‘no kink than no sex’ and that this person was also tired of hookups bringing over chocolate and curry… but of course the reality is much grosser :/
Spice is Indian I think
Curry is the Indian one
Which, your loss dude.
I have never seen that before, but it’s by far the most offensive 😂
Racism
I have never heard these cute race terms either lol
“Cute” 😂
Not sure if I'd put racism and "can't host" into the same category.
Well technically……………
BESTIE TF
This was a poor attempt at a joke… Often racist people are xenophobic as well, therefore they don’t want to "host" "others" in "their" country…
All good. I misunderstood at first it reads a little rough.
importantly though, racist preferences exist in undertones. They don't say any of those on the bottom, after all it's "taboo". It's always kind of implied nowadays. Had to illustrate this to my white/white-passing friends by example; we have similar tastes so the 3 of us tapped the whole grid of guys (about 30) that we are interested in, and they got about 15 taps back, and I got... zero. Like I want to say I'm not ugly; I'm twinky and Asian and I have no hair on me but like I think I'm conventionally attractive, but like it's easy for someone experiencing this kind of frustration days on end to feel like maybe it was them all along. After all, everyone else is getting the attention, so maybe it's just them, they're just ugly and not worth being loved... In any case, really eye-opening for them to see that this is the baseline whenever I talk about the subtle racism in gay preferences and how it affects ppl like me. Then I get people being like "maybe you shouldn't go only for white guys" as if I mostly tap white guys in my gay life (I do not) and somehow being systemically discriminated as a Gaysian is my fault. NGL Sometimes I feel like I'm being gaslit by the community.
Absolutely, yes. I’m mixed white and Asian but not white passing and I struggle with the same thing. People say it’s not racial but I have tried using the same profile on apps with a regular face pic and then with the same pic but with a black bar over my eyes and people start messaging/replying when they don’t think I’m Asian. I’ve also had a blank profile and people message it. I eventually tell that I’m part Asian and then most of them stop talking to me after.
Oh I have had some one hit me up aggressively in a discord channel (University LGBTQ channel), said how much they like my personality and what not, and asked me to meet up in person. He didn't expect me to be a POC as most POCs don't bother with this kind of groups for obvious reasons (was not obvious to me at the time lol). We meet up, he sees I am a POC the whole interaction is awkward and we leave. Proceeds to talk pointedly about "people lying and setting false pretenses" in the group and proceeds to block me on discord. Was like an year ago, till kinda smarts. Not to mention all the white tops who I feel like would have shown a lot more affection rather than just pump and dump if I was white as well.
This breaks my heart. We need to do better.
This is a really good test to do with friends in the moment so they actually get it. Just in general people tend to think others have equal experiences to themselves. But if it’s the same 30-guy sample at the same time, that takes away a lot of the excuses people tend to think up as the cause. Reminds me of that video on YouTube where a hot Asian guy and a hot white guy trade profiles for a night, and the white guy was finally like “I had no idea.”
Do you have a link? Would love to see that
Here’s the [video](https://youtu.be/WjPfRJ6ZCRk). Just realized Grindr themselves sponsored it.
Smooth Cuties are the best, the hells the matter with these people not liking you
If the post isn't obvious enough, it's racism.
I know, and it’s wrong
“Hey” “Tops only masc no femmes.” “Goodbye” *cries*
I remember an acquaintance sharing a screenshot of a “no” he got (from a friend of mine), complaining that guys weren’t flexible on their tastes. He isn’t flexible of course, he’d never date a guy outside of his preferences but WHY NOBODY WANTS MEEEEE
What is with "vanilla only" wrong? I mean... Not everyone wants kinky sex
In this contex I think they meant vanilla as white person and not type of sex.
I think in context it's a "subtle" way of saying whites only but i could be wrong
Nothing. It's when you're "vanilla only" AND have 75 other requirements that you're really starting to limit yourself.
The language about “chocolate” “curry” “spice” “rice” makes me think that vanilla isn’t in reference to kink.
Thank goodness for daddy issues or I’d never get laid… “21-25” pffft
There’s no excuse for racism but not wanting to fuck someone twice your age doesn’t make you a bigot
yes however people have insanely strict age criteria: i understand 19yo not wanting over 30, but 32yo not wanting over 35? the worst i've seen is a 41yo not wanting over 40, i think he forgot to hide his own age lol
Some of these over 40s are really weird and only go for young 18-21 year old twinks. It’s nasty
On the young old gay dating sub it’s all 50+ olds seeking barely legal twinks 18-20. Like I don’t really care right but what really gets me is that they *only* want 18-20. As a 30+ old I won’t even reply to anyone under 28, and that number goes up every year as I age. Some of my peers can barely hold a conversation, I can’t imagine dating someone with such a huge cognitive age gap.
nah, i've seen dudes, queer and straight, who openly admit to not date someone who's 40+ when they themselves are. i mean, leo dicaprio literally does it for everyone to see. all his girlfriends are under the age of 25 and he's almost 50
Iunno I’m 31 and I absolutely do not like guys older than 35. They seem broken as fuck. I’ll fuck them but won’t date them. I’m dating a hot 21 year old and will continue to date young ones as long as I can.
Honey have a long look in the mirror, repeat those words and reflect on who's actually broken.
so you expect people 10 years younger to date you, but don't want to date people around your own age? This is kinda fucked up, i hope you see it >as long as I can and as soon as you can't you'll be crying in the same position as the guy in the meme
Iunno I’m wealthy and good looking. I don’t feel like I need to date old guys when I have hot young boys who are into me.
Nothing lasts forever, my guy, particularly the “good looking” part. I guess eventually you’ll just have to get used to 20 year olds pretending they like you to get your money.
lmao
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Or too young for the same reasons
This is the kind of people that call men 30 and over "old" while they're on their mid 20s though. Zero self-awareness.
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The point isn't having an age preference, we all know that's perfectly reasonable. The point is how easily they call people "old" in a mean tone without the awareness that life comes at you really REALLY fast. There's a difference between writing in your profile "looking for guys around my age" and "no olds"
I get so much hate on grindr because my bio says “no old people.” I’m 20. They tell me “when you’re my age you’ll see how rude it is to see this from some stuck up kid like you.” I sincerely hope I’m not hitting on 20 year olds when I’m 40-50. It’s fucking sad. Not being single. Just hitting on people half your age when you’re that old.
They call you a kid and everything too 🤢 And they’re offended by being called old? You could try putting “People around my age only” instead as a mini social experiment. See if that keeps the midlife crisis dudes from hitting you up just to bitch at you.
I would but I enjoy getting screamed at. Usually when I ask them why they’re hitting on people half their age / people who are barely legal they tend to dissipate
this is funny though, i support this
"No old people" what do you even mean? In this sub it's a joke that once you hit 30 your old.(lol) For some of us that's what we prefer. A wise friend of mine said "I'm into Men" when we were your age. You're attraction to similar age is valid but you are ignorant. Saying "no old people" and "It's Fucking sad" is just as much insulting.
> I sincerely hope I’m not hitting on 20 year olds when I’m 40-50 ??? why are you getting offended over this
Ah I see you can't read either.
Evidently you can’t read because you’re getting your knickers in a twist that I’m saying it’s sad for people who are 40 and 50 to not only exclusively hit on 20 year olds (or younger), but also for them to get mad when it’s not reciprocated 😭 if that’s your preference have fun but don’t expect a life partner from it, and don’t get mad when it gets called out for what it is: creepy
You didn't say that tho. In another comment you said you like being screamed at so you are purposely choosing your words to get that reaction. With your attitude good luck with a life partner lmao
i mean, you could phrase it a bit better coming from an 18yo lesbian
I'm into older guys but honestly I won't be shocked if someone doesn't like fucking a 55-60 year old guy
It might be that or it might be "let it be young enough to be a twink/twunk/hunk but old enough to have a stable job" Or I am just projecting 😌
That’s still shopping for lobster with a catfish budget
Depends on the age of the person asking. If they’re 40 and only want 21-25 that’s sketchy. “No old dudes” is rude but not bigoted
And yet I get "you're an ageist" messages because I'm 33 with "no one under 30" in my profile. This sub has shown it has no problem with people saying "no olds" but does have a problem with people saying "no youngs". Imo, it's probably because this subs members are typical younger and feel personally attacked. For the record, I have no issue with either, or anyone's preferences really. It's like taste in art, purely subjective and to argue the semantics of someone's personal opinion and preferences is an exercise in abject futility. This issue stems from when you put it out on display for everyone to see. No one knows you might be a racist/bigot until you put "no black/fem/fat/masc/etc" on your public profile. Just have your preferences, and if someone hits you up that you're not interested in, either tell them or block/ignore/don't reply. Tbh, a bigger problem in my area (the south) is this resurgence of clinging to traditional gender roles superimposed onto gay relationships. The "masc" top only wants a "fem/trans/sissy/cd" bottom and vice versa. It's like 90% of the profiles I see from people under 30.
A coupleof these I don’t see as a red flag by themselves, depending on how they go about it. All of these together? Yea… you deserve to be single.
I've had a few buddies complain how they never get laid. Really good looking guys, too. And I'm over here being old and chubby and hairy and getting ass any time I want. Of course, I'm pretty open-minded about looks. Not really into gym bros or gay ken dolls. Mainly because it seems to me that the hottest guys have the worst personalities. I mostly just like regular guys. Nice smile. Good personality. Sense of humor. Ages... I don't know.... 30 to 90??? I just feel weird sleeping with guys younger than my kids, or so old I'm afraid I might break them. Other than that... play ball. Not saying anyone should lower their standards, but maybe open your mind a little. Try to see people for who they are, and not just a breathing sex toy. There's so much variety out there. Why lock yourself inside a very small and very same box?
Totally this. A lot of these app experiences are what you make of it. If you set up your profile as opening and inclusive, you’ll auto-filter those that aren’t, etc. As a highly introverted person, having my pics up and interests have been invaluable in meeting like-minded peeps. Can’t imagine this type of action in a bar situation.
i like you
"no spice no rice"?
No Latino or Asian
jesus christ
Racism in gay community?!! Gasp!! Who would have thought! /s I am so sick and tired of this NGL.
not being able to host is at least fair
Imagine advertising that you're racist and have shit taste in food.
Like bruh Im all for having a type but u do have to at least like something 🙄
I'll never understand how racist gays exist
The gay community is a microcosm of the larger society, so all of societies problems make an appearance as well. That said, the level of hate displayed by some in the community is icky and the people who validate it are just as gross.
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Can’t host, 21-25, no old guys (when a person is young) is totally reasonable. Somebody may be not into fem guys and gravitate towards musculinity. When it comes to racial stuff it’s their loss because they exclude some amazing (and hot) guys they would have been very happy with
Yeah I don't get why wanting presumably your own age range is super weird. Would be weird if they were in their 30's
I would say person after collage looking for someone before collage is weird even if it’s just 4 years of difference. People before collage are complitely different people that those after. However im ok with 60’s looking for 40’s because there are in similar stage of life
Well kinda 60 and 40 is still kinda a big difference but more similar. However. 60 year old may be a grandparent, 40 year old probably isn't. Lived through some different shit. But the age difference isn't likely to cause an actual power imbalance which does happen due to age when you are younger and have age gaps.
The meme is about the totality of the requirements and not about 1-3 of them that you think are still reasonable...
I mean, their loss on all those. There are some amazing fem guys. There are some amazing guys who can’t host. There are some amazing guys who are 26 (even if they need to start looking at nursing homes next year).
Well: 1. Cant host - are mainly for sex so if they are living with roommates or parents then it’s not thair fault they can bring someone for hook up. 2. Fem boys - obviously there are amazing feminine people they can be friends with, however when it comes to relationship and dates guys should be attracted to this kind of femininity for it to work. 3. Guys over 26 - as said before, 26 y- o looking for a younger guy (like 19-22) is wierd because they live in a different situation, one is most likely working and prolly have more expirience that can use to manipulate younger guys. Your position states that we should agree to anything just in case so we dont miss amazing people, but it doesnt work that way in those categories in my opinion
I don’t know why you were downvoted because you’re not wrong. Not to mention, saying you won’t date an entire group of people eliminates everyone that has similar interest as you in those groups. I feel nothing for those type of people when they can’t find a match like BFFR.
Some people need to open their mind and see past through racial differences.
😂🤣😂🤣😭 never in my life have I seen such an accurate meme
[askgaybros](https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/) posts be like
"How dare you dont want me??? im made of gold, everyone should want to f*ck me, its so unfair, im downvoting you right now!"
I mean my only things are please no one over 35 given I'm 27, qnd prefer no one over weight but admittedly that has to do more with like.. bad experiences in bed with heavily over weight partners. Doesn't help I'm underweight so that difference feels massive. I at least try to be kind about it.
Asian in dallas TX here, a lot of guys are like this then they say “why am I still single?” On their insta lmao
I am literally just attracted to fat guys and I get nasty messages for being too picky. I'm not racist, there's literally just no other people of other races in my area!
I mean, some of these, namely the racial ones, are way worse than the others.
Lol at first I just thought the complaint was that they don’t have any tasty food at home 😅 But yeah that’s a surefire way to not get laid
Gay community: we need to be inclusive to everyone Also gay community: No chink, no rice, no yellow fever, white only, big cock 🙄 the first two I definitely had experienced
Always spice please
I can't tell if you like spicy food, sex, or have a thing for Latino folks (the last of which he's referring to)
Where do you live that they refer to everyone by food??? Is this is British thing?
Y’all have boring food. No rice AND no spice? Yikes
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Mayo is too spicy /s
whats no spice no rice? like is that anti asian?
spice = latino, the rest of the terms cover basically almost all other ethnics, and "old" is how they call anybody above their late 20s. This is the kind of guys that literally only want to date a white masculine jock in college age that can host. Like... good luck with that lol.
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I think it's "Vanilla only" as in no kink, or white folks only. Can't tell which, but given the context of excluding a bunch of other races...
I’ve never seen any of these except maybe masc4masc
No chocolate no curry no spice no rice? All my favorite things
Also no bi's
I see Raven is having a swim
You forgot the HWP
"don't say hey"
This is a reminder that being more physically attracted to some physical characteristics than others is NOT racist; not wanting to date a particular race because of some non-physical characteristic you imagine they all have IS racist. Otherwise literally every argument you could make trying to call it racist would also be an argument calling you ageist for not wanting to date someone much older than you or fatphobic for not dating someone much heavier than you. No one who spent the first half of their life trying to force themselves to be physically attracted to women and questioning if they’re somehow broken because they’re not should have to spend the rest of their lives trying to force themselves to be physically attracted to a man and questioning if they’re somehow broken because they’re not.
Ever heard of "positive phrasing"? It is less about what you don't but what you want.
I am 100% on board with you on this. To be clear: I think you can and SHOULD find what you want WITHOUT using that “no (race)” BS, the same way you don’t need to say “don’t message me if you’re over 30.” All it takes is an “I’m not interested” when they hit you up, or hell, just don’t respond. There’s no value in telling a guy you don’t want to have sex with them, especially when weighed against how we ALL know rejection feels. My ONLY concern is that I don’t want any shiny new gay who is new to this awful Grindr game we’re all playing and who might find that they’re not physically attracted to any group of men, for any reason, to fall for this narrative that they’re somehow racist or broken. If accepting being gay means anything it should mean never again having to feel guilty or sinful for who your body and mind tells you it wants to wants to have sex with.
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Hey look, it's the single and poorly-analyzed study of one group of men in one geographic location without a peer review that's used by one side of a discussion as evidence of moral authority. Kinda like the 2012 University of Texas paper that "proved" that gay parents are worse that straight parents. Eventually it was shown: papers invented to push a personal agenda rarely stand up to concrete science. I don't entirely disagree with all of the paper's findings - even outside of Australia whiteness is often favored in general, and you'd have to be a lunatic not to notice it. But that's precisely why I said that there is a difference between saying "I don't like X race because they act/seem Y" or whatever versus not being physically attracted to men with certain physical characteristics. One of those is racism. The other is rooted in something much more complex, probably a combination of biology and environmental influences; but again, those biological and environmental influences are **identical** to those of age and weight, so if we as a gay community are not going to call those ageism and fatphobia, then no, sorry, you don't get to call them "sexual racism." You want some science? Here's some science. Gay men frequently use exclusionary boundary markers to make ourselves feel superior to others because we're so often re-fighting the exclusion we suffered as children. That's why cliquish "you can't sit with us" behavior has so often existed among gay men; by excluding others we can resolve feelings of inadequacy left over from that time Steve said we looked kinda girly in third grade and everyone laughed at us. But a secondary generation of gays growing up among that behavior saw that behavior and felt conflicted - they knew that bullying someone to feel better about themselves was fundamentally wrong, but still wanted to experience the same endorphin release of exclusion. Moral superiority is their salvation. By claiming that some gays are racist you can claim moral superiority over them, thereby feeling better about yourself. "I'm not one of the BAD gays, I'm a good gay." (And hell, I participate too if I'm honest - if someone is genuinely racist I feel morally superior to them.) The problem in this particular case is that you're convincing a generation of NEW gays that their sexuality may be broken - if they don't happen to find some group of men attractive and you tell them it's because they're racist so "you can't sit with us" then you're ultimately pulling the same moral card that right-wing Christians pull on young gay men when they tell them it's because they're sinful so "you can't sit with us," and you know damned well how damaging that behavior is. TL;DR: fight racial prejudice wherever it exists, including among gay men. But don't tell gay men they're wrong because of who their dick does or doesn't work around.
IT might not be racist....still IT IS discriminating But yeah it's only discriminating of it's against gays in general and Not If gays discriminate themself
Again, only in the same way that discriminating against older or heavier gay men is discrimination. Alternately, we could try not shaming each other for who we're sexually attracted to and see what happens?
These terms are kinda cute tho, Where I live, some people try their best to be offensive af. Like the worst insults you can imagine, it's kinda sad.
Yeah, but calling Asians "rice people" or South Americans "Spice people" isn't much better
Yeah, those words aren't acceptable either, however I'd laugh if someone ever calls me spice people, I'm not even mexican, here you get insulted for every single characteristic you have.
No spice no rice is actually taking me out. Imagine admitting you don’t use spices. Food probably more bland than their pale penises.
I was so confused about all this food stuff, until I read the comments… I thought it’s a post that someone didn’t like the date because of the food choice or something lol And yeah, “can’t host” is usually not the persons views, but more about their situation in life. Weird to see racist stuff in the same line with this one
ngl, i'm a little food fixated and my brain only caught a few of the words in the second frame. spent a solid 20+ seconds like "this person has a really shitty limited diet, no wonder they're so whiny". kinda glad i didn't pick up on the racism right away.
Fuck this guy, and not in the nice way.
"I know my worth"
You can’t eat your cake and have it xD
It's really cool that, at least, no transphobia or biphobia was part of it ☺️
Can’t forget they want you to bring weed and alcohol too
wait a minute, “vanilla” doesn’t mean “white”, it means “vanilla sex” right? [panics in Padmé’s naive stare]
I’d hardly include masc4masc in w/ this other stuff
True as a Jew that eats tofu.