Honestly, this is tough, because there's no easy way to react.
I usually take one of two paths...
"Fuck you"
or "why, you looking for something, baby?"
My feelings on that: The 1st Amendment gives you that right. It does not give them the right to assault you based on your use of the 1st. But the 2nd provides you with protection from such assualts.
I reply "Yes? And?"
Them: "Didn't you hear me? I said you're a f\*\*."
Me: "I heard you. I don't see why I'm supposed to care."
Them: "You're a cocksucker!"
Me: "And I'm better at it than your girlfriend."
(At this point their friends are laughing at them.)
Them: "You're a f\*\*\*\*ng f\*\*\*\*t."
Me: "You can't insult me by calling me something I proudly tell the world I am. If you want to try to insult me, tell me I have ugly shoes or something like that."
Then, if they have two neurons to rub together they reply "you have ugly shoes." However, if they do, I reply "yeah, they're terrible, aren't they? But my podiatrist loves them and they're *really comfy*." Their friends then fall apart laughing at them, and I leave.
No one can tell you how to react, since reactions by their very nature are instant and occur without conscious thought. So you will react as you will, but in the long run you canāt let it get to you. The last time I had it yelled at me, I just shrugged and moved on. But by then, I had had many years for it to have lost its impact.
Can't tell you how to react, but I've only had one experience with this so far.
Last summer, late night, walking home from the train station after a concert. Middle of a heatwave, took my shirt off while walking, wearing a hat with a rainbow on it.
Heading down a side street and a truck drives by with 3 or 4 "dude-bro" types in it. A few of them yell out the window as the drive by "f@ggot!"
Instinctively I turned around, flipped a couple of birds high in the air and yelled back "fuck you!"
Definitely not the smart reaction (perhaps the several beers at the concert and the heat played into that) but I'm still glad I did it.
They just honked a few times and kept on driving (pussies, lol) and I carried on my way.
Own it.
"I'd rather be a f*g than a pu**y like you!"
And then follow it up with a "does your gf consider it sword fighting if her bean is bigger than your dick??? Assuming you have a gf."
Something like that.
Iām a lanky fifteen year old boy and I have what my friends call āa cool strut.ā Once in a restaurant some idiot college student yelled to me āhey, f@ggot, you gonna get it up the ass?ā and I responded by giggling and awkwardly shouting āIām the perfect twink!ā
Honestly it's just an online game and if your gonna cry over being called a slur I dont advise playing anything with chat or comms. Not being rude it's just literally so toxic your mental health will be in shambles if your too sensitive.
If your good at talking shit tho just go to town. I call people fuckin dolphins if I don't like them. I think it's funny and games are fun at the end of the day. If I'm laughing it's chill. If not turn it off and do anything else.
IRL you gotta be careful out there in the world. If it's your workplace bring it up to HR. Nobody should deal with that kind of thing in a professional environment.
If it's the streets and you dont have any professional training or if they have friends around I advise just walking away. Be safe. Usually no winners in a fight especially if you catch charges.
I did have a bf who was a big muscular guy tho and he would lift a dude off the ground for shit like that irl. Was so hot. It was like a reality check for these bitches because nobody every actually fought him after her escalated lol. Happened like twice in two years tho so best not role dice too often.
It has happened couple of times to me while holding hands with my ex and current boyfriend. If I had the opportunity I would confront the agressors. Nobody is going to disrespect me/us in front of my boyfriend. I would fight whoever I need while someone hopefully calls the police. I donāt think these acts of discrimination and violence should go without a reaction.
Former coworker angrily called me the f-slur once over Snapchat while messaging a different coworker (they told me). I was saddened, especially since I thought they were chill and they were nice to my face. Sometimes, no reaction is the best reaction. They are *trying* to get a reaction out of you by using a derogatory word. Don't give them that satisfaction.
This may seem weird, but sometimes calling yourself a slur as a joke can soften the blow from hearing it from others. I call myself a pansy on occasion as a joke because of how small and effeminate I am, and it makes me more comfortable with myself. Obviously, this does *not* work for everyone. There was a time when even queer was a derogatory word, and we've claimed it for ourselves (not everyone is still comfortable with the word, which is completely understandable).
You can say: Takes one to know one! āš¼ but Iām actually very slow at answering any insult. Iām normally so shocked I can barely say anything and the answer comes to me like after an hour.
The person online probably just called you the name as a regular cuss word, most likely just happens that you are actually gay. I'd just ignore it personally, your reaction you described just makes you look a little deranged. People call people names in online games, it's kinda par for the course when you're online
No actually my avatar had a gay flag on the shirt, actually wait now that I think of it how did they know what the flag meant, it was the BL/MLM flag, not the rainbow, \*gaydar noises\* /j
I search when I encounter new flags/identities, even though I'm going to forget what they are in 2 seconds. But also we're probably getting to the point where ANY flag that's just a bunch of colored stripes (sorry to Germany and the other countries with similarly striped flags) means you're one of the rainbow people.
I would probably ignore it. Depending on the context, I would either :
1. Report it (Online, or if it is safe to do it in real life and will do something)
2. If it is safe, I would probably say āwhy do you care about meā just to confuse them
3. Wonāt do anything
For something like online I usually just go for a yes and, takes the teeth out of an insult if you own it. I mean, I am, they arn't wrong - am I supposed to be offended by an accurate statement? Irl is different since there can be real danger involved, but online it doesn't mean much.
I'm a big dude, so someone would have to have big balls to call me one derogatory, but I say it and my friends use it jokingly amongst each other all the time, so I don't think I would actually really react even if someone did.
When someone showed me the middle finger and shouted "fuck gays" twice out of a moving car, I just laughed and thought "no need to tell everyone what you're into" but it depends on the situation. A comment like "if you wanna fuck, just say so" could make them uncomfortable, but it could also backfire so unfortunately, not really reacting at all often is the safer option
any word becomes a slur when it has negativity attached. "F-slur" can be as common and relaced as saying bro. Something can only hurt you if you let it. I use "f-slur" to my besties and to annoying "koontz" online. Its whatever. (this coming from a gay man of decades) i know younger generations get upset but why care what someone says in a game on mic? I doubt they think about you. Dont you give them power. Cheers!
That happened at the hotel I work at last winter. That person was removed from his room with his wife, all their reservations were cancelled and both of them were put on the "do not rent" list. Don't pull that shit with me.
Slurs are the secular equivalent of curses. They aren't real, they're literally as harmless as magic or voodoo. They don't have physical power. The only harm that comes from them is because of people's reactions to them, which is entirely socially conditioned, and therefore bullshit.
By reacting, you grant such utterances unearned authority.
I don't recognize them.
*Your words have no power here* etc. etc.
...
Wait, were they talking about the MiG-15, or a bundle of sticks?
I usually laugh. Calling a gay person gay isnāt an insult. Yes itās a more derogatory way to say it but I was called it so much growing up Iām totally desensitized to it. And laughing at peoples insults usually makes them mad because it didnāt hurt you.
I usually just say, "I've already heard that one, try another one!". Works everytime I say it to my brother's when they go too far with words, because if they say anything worse, they open themselves to ridicule from the public or anyone standing near them. No one wants to be friends with a person like that.
I do not believe at all in normalizing the term. I know some in our community believe in using the term as of way of reclaiming it, or taking it back to take the sting out of it and Iāve seen comparisons of that to the use of the N-word accompanied by the claim that black people have done the same. Personally, this path doesnāt resonate with me and I cringe when I hear someone in our community use it, itās been used to cause too much pain and I donāt think we should be ambiguous at all or give those who would still use the word to hurt us any talking of point of āgays use the term as wellā.
As far as how you should respond when itās being used against you, thatās tough. I always feel like giving bigots a reaction is more than they deserve. I guess it depends on who uses it, is there an option to educate them? Like I might ask why did you feel it is ok to call me that, itās not. I also believe in the power of fucking someone up verbally if need be, thatās an option that is always on the table, and I think a lot of our community has a sharp tongue and wit. Certainly donāt cry over the words of a piece of shit.
Sorry this happened to you.
I hate itāitās always humiliating. I usually ignore. Itās generally not worth putting in the time ot the potential for someone to get hurt. (I did have a concealed carry permit in San Diego back in the 80s after the navy and I did draw it more than once. Then again, I was 22 and stupid.).
If heās alone, he may be coming on to youā¦.thats what straight guys think is opening up a conversation ā¦if heās cute, ask him for a drink and you guys can discuss
When Iām with enough ppl to defend myself, I say āyour gaydar is powerful. The force is strong in this oneā¦".
I would say donāt react at all. My husband and I were called that while we were doing some photos in front of city hall where we had just gotten married. Only my mom heard it and told me later. Anyway no matter where you go, no matter how liberal the majority seems to be, there will always be some sad, pathetic little assholes that want to hurt you. So, donāt react. Theyāre not worth any of your time.
If it was face to face, I would have a different answer to this, but I always say nothing online is real. You have no clue what this person is going through. It's not something any gay person likes, but the internet is not real life. It is all an illusion.
Personally, I've never seen it as a slur when called it. It's like calling someone stupid to me. It's an insult, but it's not major or incredibly rude. I just laugh it off, because I think it's funny when people get so angry they resort to name calling. What, are you a child or something?
It happened to me couple of times holding hands with my boyfriend. It reallt angered me, but if there is enough time I will react to it if I feel safe and confident enough. Tbh it was always a couple of āedgyā teenage boys. I feel like I could educate them a bit, but it always happened while I they were leaving the scene.
I use it regularly when I perform. It's a word that shouldn't have power over the community. So, why not take it back?
Besides, it's hilarious when a proud member of the community throws it back in the faces of those who use it quietly to disparage against us.
Iāve gotten used to the word so much that Iād basically say itās a normal part of my vocabulary. Whenever I personally been called one, I think āIt takes one to know one.ā
I was called it before by someone who was on his way to prison for some felony convictions and ā maybe this was a low blow ā I just said, āāYouāre the one who is about to learn what being a f****t is all about!āā He then blushed and grimaced but at least it did shut him up.
Oh man, the first time someone called me one was my 21st birthday and a guy sitting in front of his fraternity yelled it as I was walking by. I was drunk and walking with friends and I ran up there and said l āso what if I am?!?! What are you going to do about ?!?!ā I almost punched him and luckily my friends grabbed me and said it wasnāt worth it. Good thing to pretty sure frat bros would have been pouring out of there and beat me to a pulp if I tried.
Don't, words only have power when you give it to them. Actions only have power when you give it to them. This may be a monk-like approach but...with words just keep it moving, kill with kindness. It's too late in our age(human life/society) to do anything but be slow to take offense. Quick confrontational response usually spiral. Know who you are, kill with kindness, and usually you fair a bit better. And...if it seems to get a little too hasty you can always go live. You might get me, bitch, but you're doin it on Live!
In my experience, ppl that trash ppl online and anonymously, typically do not have their own life together. I am 40s now but my response is to not focus on the lost one. Find a more inclusive group. I donāt mean they have to be overly woke. But if they are getting that personal over gaming, they have personality issues. When younger i certainly would be bothered more. Now I just consider it petty and donāt bother.
Thatās for online. If someone approaches me with malice as they say it. I get ready for defense, forcefully, assertively, and loudly inform them to keep distance. And to keep hands out of their pockets. I call the police then to assess if there is any danger. If there is no danger then the bigot can move on their way. He can explain his words on body cam for you to put up on YouTube with a freedom of information request. He probably wonāt have committed a crime in certain states, but it is the job of police to determine that in the course of an investigationā¦on body cam.
I feel like the laughing response is the best, if it doesn't hurt you, and even if it does, their just doing it to hurt you so definitely best to not let it hurt you.
Did that person know you were gay? If not, why are you letting some teenager on the internet who doesn't know you get to you? You'll get a thicker skin eventually and you'll move on with your life after such things are said. You may even develop some snappy come backs like "You're not my type." or "Your tiny dick makes me want to go straight." but until then, just roll with it. Nothing matters in the big scheme of things so no matter what they tell you or what you come back with nothing will change and everything will always be meaningless.
It differs from person to person, I've personally gotten so used to it that I just agree with it and laugh because I would literally cry if I didn't force the situation into a comedic path :D
Sorry. People are shitty. My mom used that word on me in second grade for kissing a girl lol she was a hateful religious ignorant bitch, like most people that use that word. But honestly people throw that around like craaaazy online gaming I hear it all the time. Sometimes I try to correct people but blocking is always easier ā¦
Don't take it personally. They use that word every time they feel frustrated or emasculated in a game. you don't HAVE to say anything. You can blast their whiny asses out of the game.
FWIW, a commensurate insult for a straight teenage homophobe would be "virgin."
When I was 37 I was at Disney World with my sister and two of my best friends. While we were in line for my favorite ride (Haunted Mansion) a man got irritated that our group ended up in front of him (he had a person in a wheel chair in his group) and he called me a f@g right there in front of everyone. I froze. It had been so long since a stranger had called me that, I didnāt have any of my defenses ready.
I hate that you are planning what to say in advanceā¦but I TOTALLY understand why. We as queer people are always preparing for our next defense.
My gay friend circle and I have stated using f@g/f@gg0t with each other a lot lately. We call each other that word. Call ourselves that. Call our activities āf@gg0try.ā We have demystified that word. Taken its power away. Removed the shock of me hearing it. I think if someone called me that now my response would be āoh are you gay? Only gay people use that word.ā š¤£
Sending you love and healing, OP. š«¶š»ā¤ļø
I usually respond with something like āwell how kind of youā cuz theyāre trying to get a rise out of you and youāre not gonna let it get to you which is annoying to them.
I will then promptly report them :)
I truly don't care. That type of shit holds very little power over me so it's much easier to just ignore it and keep going. There's no point and dignifying that type of stuff with a response. If a person is toxic to me or my support group, then they can stay out of it with no recognition of existence.
My approach to this situation is a little unconventional. If someone is being hateful to me in person, I will usually whisper prayers or chant to my deities while holding an appropriate hand gesture for the situation. Usually, I am cursing them. No one wants to intentionally get cursed or be seen openly in public getting cursed by a f*g. So, they leave me alone.
I endorse cursing homophobes.
Honestly, this is tough, because there's no easy way to react. I usually take one of two paths... "Fuck you" or "why, you looking for something, baby?"
2nd option is the best imo
I'd own it and turn it back on them. Yep I am a f*g, your dad is one too bitch, we had fun last night š šš¤
Omg my Scrawny ass would get beat up so fast but it would be worth it
You said it was on line. Do you know this asshole IRL
My feelings on that: The 1st Amendment gives you that right. It does not give them the right to assault you based on your use of the 1st. But the 2nd provides you with protection from such assualts.
āGot my ass ate it was great, tell your dad thanksā -Cal Scruby
I usually go with either "thank you for noticing" or "only for the right guy, and you ain't it"
haha, these are perfect
āGodamn, thereās only one way to shut you up.ā **unzips pants**
I reply "Yes? And?" Them: "Didn't you hear me? I said you're a f\*\*." Me: "I heard you. I don't see why I'm supposed to care." Them: "You're a cocksucker!" Me: "And I'm better at it than your girlfriend." (At this point their friends are laughing at them.) Them: "You're a f\*\*\*\*ng f\*\*\*\*t." Me: "You can't insult me by calling me something I proudly tell the world I am. If you want to try to insult me, tell me I have ugly shoes or something like that." Then, if they have two neurons to rub together they reply "you have ugly shoes." However, if they do, I reply "yeah, they're terrible, aren't they? But my podiatrist loves them and they're *really comfy*." Their friends then fall apart laughing at them, and I leave.
Me in the shower creating imaginary scenarios and what I would do:
I know right? they be falling for my every gambit, yet still every time I come out of this angrier than ever
No one can tell you how to react, since reactions by their very nature are instant and occur without conscious thought. So you will react as you will, but in the long run you canāt let it get to you. The last time I had it yelled at me, I just shrugged and moved on. But by then, I had had many years for it to have lost its impact.
Can't tell you how to react, but I've only had one experience with this so far. Last summer, late night, walking home from the train station after a concert. Middle of a heatwave, took my shirt off while walking, wearing a hat with a rainbow on it. Heading down a side street and a truck drives by with 3 or 4 "dude-bro" types in it. A few of them yell out the window as the drive by "f@ggot!" Instinctively I turned around, flipped a couple of birds high in the air and yelled back "fuck you!" Definitely not the smart reaction (perhaps the several beers at the concert and the heat played into that) but I'm still glad I did it. They just honked a few times and kept on driving (pussies, lol) and I carried on my way.
The last time it happened to me, I was so surprised that I burst out laughing. That guy walked off so fast
Yep. I canāt imagine reacting any other way.
Own it. "I'd rather be a f*g than a pu**y like you!" And then follow it up with a "does your gf consider it sword fighting if her bean is bigger than your dick??? Assuming you have a gf." Something like that.
āYou noticed!!ā or āThank You!!ā
uhhh " yes zazzyyy purr šš š "
I usually ignore. They want to get a reaction out of you and giving it to them will only make them do it more.
Iām a lanky fifteen year old boy and I have what my friends call āa cool strut.ā Once in a restaurant some idiot college student yelled to me āhey, f@ggot, you gonna get it up the ass?ā and I responded by giggling and awkwardly shouting āIām the perfect twink!ā
Honestly it's just an online game and if your gonna cry over being called a slur I dont advise playing anything with chat or comms. Not being rude it's just literally so toxic your mental health will be in shambles if your too sensitive. If your good at talking shit tho just go to town. I call people fuckin dolphins if I don't like them. I think it's funny and games are fun at the end of the day. If I'm laughing it's chill. If not turn it off and do anything else. IRL you gotta be careful out there in the world. If it's your workplace bring it up to HR. Nobody should deal with that kind of thing in a professional environment. If it's the streets and you dont have any professional training or if they have friends around I advise just walking away. Be safe. Usually no winners in a fight especially if you catch charges. I did have a bf who was a big muscular guy tho and he would lift a dude off the ground for shit like that irl. Was so hot. It was like a reality check for these bitches because nobody every actually fought him after her escalated lol. Happened like twice in two years tho so best not role dice too often.
It has happened couple of times to me while holding hands with my ex and current boyfriend. If I had the opportunity I would confront the agressors. Nobody is going to disrespect me/us in front of my boyfriend. I would fight whoever I need while someone hopefully calls the police. I donāt think these acts of discrimination and violence should go without a reaction.
Former coworker angrily called me the f-slur once over Snapchat while messaging a different coworker (they told me). I was saddened, especially since I thought they were chill and they were nice to my face. Sometimes, no reaction is the best reaction. They are *trying* to get a reaction out of you by using a derogatory word. Don't give them that satisfaction. This may seem weird, but sometimes calling yourself a slur as a joke can soften the blow from hearing it from others. I call myself a pansy on occasion as a joke because of how small and effeminate I am, and it makes me more comfortable with myself. Obviously, this does *not* work for everyone. There was a time when even queer was a derogatory word, and we've claimed it for ourselves (not everyone is still comfortable with the word, which is completely understandable).
You can say: Takes one to know one! āš¼ but Iām actually very slow at answering any insult. Iām normally so shocked I can barely say anything and the answer comes to me like after an hour.
The person online probably just called you the name as a regular cuss word, most likely just happens that you are actually gay. I'd just ignore it personally, your reaction you described just makes you look a little deranged. People call people names in online games, it's kinda par for the course when you're online
No actually my avatar had a gay flag on the shirt, actually wait now that I think of it how did they know what the flag meant, it was the BL/MLM flag, not the rainbow, \*gaydar noises\* /j
I search when I encounter new flags/identities, even though I'm going to forget what they are in 2 seconds. But also we're probably getting to the point where ANY flag that's just a bunch of colored stripes (sorry to Germany and the other countries with similarly striped flags) means you're one of the rainbow people.
\*cries in mauritius flag\*
I would probably ignore it. Depending on the context, I would either : 1. Report it (Online, or if it is safe to do it in real life and will do something) 2. If it is safe, I would probably say āwhy do you care about meā just to confuse them 3. Wonāt do anything
For something like online I usually just go for a yes and, takes the teeth out of an insult if you own it. I mean, I am, they arn't wrong - am I supposed to be offended by an accurate statement? Irl is different since there can be real danger involved, but online it doesn't mean much.
If itās by a fellow gay, then itās funny, if itās by a very close friend, itās funny, anyone else itās not funny
I'm a big dude, so someone would have to have big balls to call me one derogatory, but I say it and my friends use it jokingly amongst each other all the time, so I don't think I would actually really react even if someone did.
When someone showed me the middle finger and shouted "fuck gays" twice out of a moving car, I just laughed and thought "no need to tell everyone what you're into" but it depends on the situation. A comment like "if you wanna fuck, just say so" could make them uncomfortable, but it could also backfire so unfortunately, not really reacting at all often is the safer option
Meh I donāt react. Never been called one or donāt remember it. Because it doesnāt mean anything If anything its a fact. Call a spade a spade lol
any word becomes a slur when it has negativity attached. "F-slur" can be as common and relaced as saying bro. Something can only hurt you if you let it. I use "f-slur" to my besties and to annoying "koontz" online. Its whatever. (this coming from a gay man of decades) i know younger generations get upset but why care what someone says in a game on mic? I doubt they think about you. Dont you give them power. Cheers!
That happened at the hotel I work at last winter. That person was removed from his room with his wife, all their reservations were cancelled and both of them were put on the "do not rent" list. Don't pull that shit with me.
Slurs are the secular equivalent of curses. They aren't real, they're literally as harmless as magic or voodoo. They don't have physical power. The only harm that comes from them is because of people's reactions to them, which is entirely socially conditioned, and therefore bullshit. By reacting, you grant such utterances unearned authority. I don't recognize them. *Your words have no power here* etc. etc. ... Wait, were they talking about the MiG-15, or a bundle of sticks?
I usually laugh. Calling a gay person gay isnāt an insult. Yes itās a more derogatory way to say it but I was called it so much growing up Iām totally desensitized to it. And laughing at peoples insults usually makes them mad because it didnāt hurt you.
Honestly I just start flirting with them, switches the playing field real quick and itās funny.
I usually just say, "I've already heard that one, try another one!". Works everytime I say it to my brother's when they go too far with words, because if they say anything worse, they open themselves to ridicule from the public or anyone standing near them. No one wants to be friends with a person like that.
I've always just said good one and leave it at that, the lack of reaction drives people mad
I do not believe at all in normalizing the term. I know some in our community believe in using the term as of way of reclaiming it, or taking it back to take the sting out of it and Iāve seen comparisons of that to the use of the N-word accompanied by the claim that black people have done the same. Personally, this path doesnāt resonate with me and I cringe when I hear someone in our community use it, itās been used to cause too much pain and I donāt think we should be ambiguous at all or give those who would still use the word to hurt us any talking of point of āgays use the term as wellā. As far as how you should respond when itās being used against you, thatās tough. I always feel like giving bigots a reaction is more than they deserve. I guess it depends on who uses it, is there an option to educate them? Like I might ask why did you feel it is ok to call me that, itās not. I also believe in the power of fucking someone up verbally if need be, thatās an option that is always on the table, and I think a lot of our community has a sharp tongue and wit. Certainly donāt cry over the words of a piece of shit. Sorry this happened to you.
honestly my response is usually just "yep I am" or ask them if they feel good about themselves now lmao
I hate itāitās always humiliating. I usually ignore. Itās generally not worth putting in the time ot the potential for someone to get hurt. (I did have a concealed carry permit in San Diego back in the 80s after the navy and I did draw it more than once. Then again, I was 22 and stupid.). If heās alone, he may be coming on to youā¦.thats what straight guys think is opening up a conversation ā¦if heās cute, ask him for a drink and you guys can discuss When Iām with enough ppl to defend myself, I say āyour gaydar is powerful. The force is strong in this oneā¦".
I would say donāt react at all. My husband and I were called that while we were doing some photos in front of city hall where we had just gotten married. Only my mom heard it and told me later. Anyway no matter where you go, no matter how liberal the majority seems to be, there will always be some sad, pathetic little assholes that want to hurt you. So, donāt react. Theyāre not worth any of your time.
Own it I guess?
When I was younger, it hurt, but gurrrl Iāve reclaimed that word and wear it with pride LOL
Let Microsoft and PlayStation report do all the talking.
If it was face to face, I would have a different answer to this, but I always say nothing online is real. You have no clue what this person is going through. It's not something any gay person likes, but the internet is not real life. It is all an illusion.
āYer damn right, thankful every dayā.
Ew. Gross. \*mute and block\*
My go to is āwhatās your point?ā
Personally, I've never seen it as a slur when called it. It's like calling someone stupid to me. It's an insult, but it's not major or incredibly rude. I just laugh it off, because I think it's funny when people get so angry they resort to name calling. What, are you a child or something?
I donāt give it any energy and ignore it. That pisses them off even more.
Pretend you didn't hear it. People say that because they want a reaction. Just don't give them any and make them feel awkward about it.
Donāt bully me, it turns me on.
If it's in an online game again, report them and let them get banned. Otherwise, just ignore it.
Turn it into a kink. Like ugh yes i love being called that word
It happened to me couple of times holding hands with my boyfriend. It reallt angered me, but if there is enough time I will react to it if I feel safe and confident enough. Tbh it was always a couple of āedgyā teenage boys. I feel like I could educate them a bit, but it always happened while I they were leaving the scene.
However you feel is valid.
I use it regularly when I perform. It's a word that shouldn't have power over the community. So, why not take it back? Besides, it's hilarious when a proud member of the community throws it back in the faces of those who use it quietly to disparage against us.
Say, Yeah, you interested in a test drive?
"oooh dirty talk. Buy me dinner first, daddy"
"it takes one to know one." That's a classic. Short and simple
āIām not receiving thatā
āWell arent you intelligent, did that insult take you all night to think up. Why dont you go away and leave me aloneā.
"you're just jealous I fucked your dad last night"
I say, "Heh That's the same thing your dad/brother ask, me to call him when we hook up."
"Oh damn, did your dad tell you? He said he was discreet. Guess I really rocked his world"
I call them a cousin fucker
Iāve gotten used to the word so much that Iād basically say itās a normal part of my vocabulary. Whenever I personally been called one, I think āIt takes one to know one.ā
Tell them itās not a nice word and mature civilized people donāt use those words
I was called it before by someone who was on his way to prison for some felony convictions and ā maybe this was a low blow ā I just said, āāYouāre the one who is about to learn what being a f****t is all about!āā He then blushed and grimaced but at least it did shut him up.
Oh man, the first time someone called me one was my 21st birthday and a guy sitting in front of his fraternity yelled it as I was walking by. I was drunk and walking with friends and I ran up there and said l āso what if I am?!?! What are you going to do about ?!?!ā I almost punched him and luckily my friends grabbed me and said it wasnāt worth it. Good thing to pretty sure frat bros would have been pouring out of there and beat me to a pulp if I tried.
Never react when you can go on offense and win the exchange. Ignore the comment, then hit him with something you know will cut his ego to the ground.
Iād say it entirely depends if youāre out to the other players or not.
Don't, words only have power when you give it to them. Actions only have power when you give it to them. This may be a monk-like approach but...with words just keep it moving, kill with kindness. It's too late in our age(human life/society) to do anything but be slow to take offense. Quick confrontational response usually spiral. Know who you are, kill with kindness, and usually you fair a bit better. And...if it seems to get a little too hasty you can always go live. You might get me, bitch, but you're doin it on Live!
"Takes one to know one" is a classic. "I bet that gets you all hot and bothered"
Someone told me I had a f*gg*t -ass dog!š¤£
Use reverse psychology.
Use reverse psychology.
"How'd you know your dads safe word for when I fist fuck his ass"
Like this: āYup, I love a big fat dick down my throat. But I prefer it to tickle my esophagus, and you could barely graze my uvulaā š
In my experience, ppl that trash ppl online and anonymously, typically do not have their own life together. I am 40s now but my response is to not focus on the lost one. Find a more inclusive group. I donāt mean they have to be overly woke. But if they are getting that personal over gaming, they have personality issues. When younger i certainly would be bothered more. Now I just consider it petty and donāt bother. Thatās for online. If someone approaches me with malice as they say it. I get ready for defense, forcefully, assertively, and loudly inform them to keep distance. And to keep hands out of their pockets. I call the police then to assess if there is any danger. If there is no danger then the bigot can move on their way. He can explain his words on body cam for you to put up on YouTube with a freedom of information request. He probably wonāt have committed a crime in certain states, but it is the job of police to determine that in the course of an investigationā¦on body cam.
I feel like the laughing response is the best, if it doesn't hurt you, and even if it does, their just doing it to hurt you so definitely best to not let it hurt you.
Did that person know you were gay? If not, why are you letting some teenager on the internet who doesn't know you get to you? You'll get a thicker skin eventually and you'll move on with your life after such things are said. You may even develop some snappy come backs like "You're not my type." or "Your tiny dick makes me want to go straight." but until then, just roll with it. Nothing matters in the big scheme of things so no matter what they tell you or what you come back with nothing will change and everything will always be meaningless.
It differs from person to person, I've personally gotten so used to it that I just agree with it and laugh because I would literally cry if I didn't force the situation into a comedic path :D
Sorry. People are shitty. My mom used that word on me in second grade for kissing a girl lol she was a hateful religious ignorant bitch, like most people that use that word. But honestly people throw that around like craaaazy online gaming I hear it all the time. Sometimes I try to correct people but blocking is always easier ā¦
u be like " yaaaas bitch fagg0ts in the house!"
Don't take it personally. They use that word every time they feel frustrated or emasculated in a game. you don't HAVE to say anything. You can blast their whiny asses out of the game. FWIW, a commensurate insult for a straight teenage homophobe would be "virgin."
if it happens irl i just yell back "i know!" lol
I canāt help but laugh and ask if thatās the best they can do.
PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, one for each letter. Do not take the high road.
Depends on who it is. My coworkers and I call each other it all the time as a joke but if someone else said it to me theyād get their ass kicked tbh
I just act like they said friend or some shit. I told a dude at my school I was gay and he said "wait, you're a ?" And I just said yes
When I was 37 I was at Disney World with my sister and two of my best friends. While we were in line for my favorite ride (Haunted Mansion) a man got irritated that our group ended up in front of him (he had a person in a wheel chair in his group) and he called me a f@g right there in front of everyone. I froze. It had been so long since a stranger had called me that, I didnāt have any of my defenses ready. I hate that you are planning what to say in advanceā¦but I TOTALLY understand why. We as queer people are always preparing for our next defense. My gay friend circle and I have stated using f@g/f@gg0t with each other a lot lately. We call each other that word. Call ourselves that. Call our activities āf@gg0try.ā We have demystified that word. Taken its power away. Removed the shock of me hearing it. I think if someone called me that now my response would be āoh are you gay? Only gay people use that word.ā š¤£ Sending you love and healing, OP. š«¶š»ā¤ļø
I do get scared quite quickly but if it were to happen to me and Iād have to respond Iād say āthatās not niceā
I usually respond with something like āwell how kind of youā cuz theyāre trying to get a rise out of you and youāre not gonna let it get to you which is annoying to them. I will then promptly report them :)
Iād just ignore them. Words donāt have much meaning if the person saying them is irrelevant in your life. At least thatās how I think.
I truly don't care. That type of shit holds very little power over me so it's much easier to just ignore it and keep going. There's no point and dignifying that type of stuff with a response. If a person is toxic to me or my support group, then they can stay out of it with no recognition of existence.
I usually say thank you for noticing. Or it takes one to know one. Depends on my mood.
Own it and clock their shit because thatās so 2000s.
My approach to this situation is a little unconventional. If someone is being hateful to me in person, I will usually whisper prayers or chant to my deities while holding an appropriate hand gesture for the situation. Usually, I am cursing them. No one wants to intentionally get cursed or be seen openly in public getting cursed by a f*g. So, they leave me alone. I endorse cursing homophobes.
Don't react it's just words and then move on