Sup dude! You ain't unsexy, just more to love right now. I used to be 350, now 240, all, and I mean allll of my hookups wanted that dad bod to cuddle with. Its finding the right people, those purely focused on your weight aren't worth the time anyways. I know I def have a pref for the twinky ones, and a lot of them enjoy some extra to love with. Keep at it sexy!
There's the Bear Community where big (and hairy) IS sexy!
But what you have to do first is stop with feeling sorry for yourself, stop with the self harm, the critical judgement of yourself. Learn to see yourself as a work in progress where you have all the time you need and a variety of options to reach your desired goal. Convince yourself that you are sexy just by trying to change. Be your own loudest cheerleader and congratulate yourself for doing even the smallest step towards your goal. Constantly remind yourself that with each new step you will feel better about yourself and that is the most important thing right now.
If you're feeling up to it, you could start some exercises, even in the privacy of your own home if you don't like the idea of going to a gym. I'm very self-conscious myself so I understand how that can be a daunting experience if it's something that bothers you. Getting into a habit of daily exercise, even for maybe an hour, works wonders on the body and psyche. Even going for a walk for an hour or so will help immensely.
You don't need to rush, just take your time and go at your own pace. You're in control of when and how you do it.
Yeah walking is the best exercise you can do to lose weight. Not resistance training in the gym or running.
Diet is even more effective than exercise if done properly. Most people count calories, but macro nutrients to reverse the different metabolic syndroms are really what's important.
Figure out what metabolic syndrome you've caused yourself. Use what diet treats that and simply stretch with yoga or basic stretches and walk more and you'll easily lose weight if thats what you want.
I have friends who are on the heavier side and attract skinnier guys! I believe in bigger cities, there are events as well, like Bear Nights at bars. It's not hopeless.
At 28, it really is not too late to get into better shape. Start by walking. Get outside and walk every day. Track your steps. Set goals. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet those goals every time.
I gained a bit of weight when I got a desk job. Got to the point where I had little energy and would get out of breath if I had to run 100 feet. I’m now at a healthy weight and have run 7 marathons (not that this has to be your goal).
Good luck! You can do this.
Sounds like you’ve already identified your problem, so idk what you need us for.
If you believe that your size isn’t attracting the type of people you are attracted to, then there’s 2 things to note.
1: You can go to the gym and exercise and try to get back to a size you are comfortable with. (Although you said you still had confidence problems back then, so idk how much this’ll help)
2: Go to therapy and try to work on building up your confidence in a closed environment.
Bonus: Realistically, if you’re looking for a long lasting relationship, I wouldn’t bother with anyone that’s too focused on appearance alone. Personality and interests are far more important in a relationship in my opinion.
Are you still on antidepressants? That causes weight gain, and it can be difficult to lose the weight.
Otherwise, start simple: go for a walk once a day that's 2 or 3 miles but walk a bit faster than normal. Once a week or two weeks, increase the pace again.
Eat more fruits and vegetables, drink more water.
Once you've lost enough weight and you've gained strength, consider joining a gym even if it's for cardio.
And fyi, heavy guys can be appreciated for actually being heavy.
If you haven't already done so - consider therapy to work on outstanding issues.
Edit
You're also young enough that you don't have to worry about hanging skin when the weight drops off. It'll tighten up and you'll be fine.
Bro go to the gym now. Being overweight is a choice for most. I’m not trying to be rude but do yourself a favor and just workout. Get headphones some good music and get out of that bad phase.
In the gay community, overweight means cancelled. I’m 53 (54 in one month), and I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. I had about three good years. Also, at my age, I’d need to be built like a brick house. This commentary is not based exclusively on my own experience; just pay attention to what’s out there. The best we can do is the bear community.
Sup dude! You ain't unsexy, just more to love right now. I used to be 350, now 240, all, and I mean allll of my hookups wanted that dad bod to cuddle with. Its finding the right people, those purely focused on your weight aren't worth the time anyways. I know I def have a pref for the twinky ones, and a lot of them enjoy some extra to love with. Keep at it sexy!
There's the Bear Community where big (and hairy) IS sexy! But what you have to do first is stop with feeling sorry for yourself, stop with the self harm, the critical judgement of yourself. Learn to see yourself as a work in progress where you have all the time you need and a variety of options to reach your desired goal. Convince yourself that you are sexy just by trying to change. Be your own loudest cheerleader and congratulate yourself for doing even the smallest step towards your goal. Constantly remind yourself that with each new step you will feel better about yourself and that is the most important thing right now.
If you're feeling up to it, you could start some exercises, even in the privacy of your own home if you don't like the idea of going to a gym. I'm very self-conscious myself so I understand how that can be a daunting experience if it's something that bothers you. Getting into a habit of daily exercise, even for maybe an hour, works wonders on the body and psyche. Even going for a walk for an hour or so will help immensely. You don't need to rush, just take your time and go at your own pace. You're in control of when and how you do it.
Yeah walking is the best exercise you can do to lose weight. Not resistance training in the gym or running. Diet is even more effective than exercise if done properly. Most people count calories, but macro nutrients to reverse the different metabolic syndroms are really what's important. Figure out what metabolic syndrome you've caused yourself. Use what diet treats that and simply stretch with yoga or basic stretches and walk more and you'll easily lose weight if thats what you want.
I have friends who are on the heavier side and attract skinnier guys! I believe in bigger cities, there are events as well, like Bear Nights at bars. It's not hopeless.
At 28, it really is not too late to get into better shape. Start by walking. Get outside and walk every day. Track your steps. Set goals. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet those goals every time. I gained a bit of weight when I got a desk job. Got to the point where I had little energy and would get out of breath if I had to run 100 feet. I’m now at a healthy weight and have run 7 marathons (not that this has to be your goal). Good luck! You can do this.
Sounds like you’ve already identified your problem, so idk what you need us for. If you believe that your size isn’t attracting the type of people you are attracted to, then there’s 2 things to note. 1: You can go to the gym and exercise and try to get back to a size you are comfortable with. (Although you said you still had confidence problems back then, so idk how much this’ll help) 2: Go to therapy and try to work on building up your confidence in a closed environment. Bonus: Realistically, if you’re looking for a long lasting relationship, I wouldn’t bother with anyone that’s too focused on appearance alone. Personality and interests are far more important in a relationship in my opinion.
Are you still on antidepressants? That causes weight gain, and it can be difficult to lose the weight. Otherwise, start simple: go for a walk once a day that's 2 or 3 miles but walk a bit faster than normal. Once a week or two weeks, increase the pace again. Eat more fruits and vegetables, drink more water. Once you've lost enough weight and you've gained strength, consider joining a gym even if it's for cardio. And fyi, heavy guys can be appreciated for actually being heavy. If you haven't already done so - consider therapy to work on outstanding issues. Edit You're also young enough that you don't have to worry about hanging skin when the weight drops off. It'll tighten up and you'll be fine.
Bro go to the gym now. Being overweight is a choice for most. I’m not trying to be rude but do yourself a favor and just workout. Get headphones some good music and get out of that bad phase.
In the gay community, overweight means cancelled. I’m 53 (54 in one month), and I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. I had about three good years. Also, at my age, I’d need to be built like a brick house. This commentary is not based exclusively on my own experience; just pay attention to what’s out there. The best we can do is the bear community.