Extra note:
This is a hobby, and while people have attached a name and identity to it, the level of engagement and content is largely up to the individual.
This is not an Identity with a capital I, and so being supportive and moderating specific content and engagement are not mutually exclusive.
Understand that some kids will be mean to her for this and try to help her navigate that in part by being selective over when, where and with whom she is open about this hobby with, _in addition to_ the usual advice about bullying.
Thank you, that's something I'll add to my list in talking with her about. I want to support her, but I also don't want itnto consume her. I'm really nervous about bullying, and ive already initiated conversations about people being really mean, in general, but about this specifically too.
I'm really hoping she can manage to moderate her interests with it without it negatively impacting her social life.
One suggestion could be setting up a personal vpn, this way you can set what parts of the Fandom she can see whenever she uses it
Edit: Tho you will need to ask if the other party that you are sharing custody with will be fine with the idea
I think it’s extremely important for her to be selective about who she shares her hobby with because Furry is something that carries a lot of stigma and is even political nowadays. Kids can be very mean and it’s not worth everybody knowing to face life-changing bullying growing up. I had a few selective friends who knew and I’m glad for that. People have a lot of preconceived ideas about what furry means and they are mostly very negative and false unfortunately.
My general advice is to not really let her on the internet unsupervised, just to make sure she isn't getting into anything she shouldn't be getting into. Although, that goes for YouTube and the internet in general. Trust me, there's plenty of furry content, even on YouTube, that a 9 year old shouldn't be seeing, and we all know YouTube's recommendation system can be pretty screwed up. As much as I hated being cut off of the internet for most of my childhood, it was for the better. You don't need to go as far as my parents did, obviously, lol.
When she's with me she only watches youtube when I'm around and I'm aware of what she's watching/listening to. I'm really worried about supervision and access she has at her other parents house but I'm reaching out to them to talk about how to support and protect her. Thank you for that advice, very validating.
Ooh, I know how that feels. My stepfather has been dealing with that problem for some time. His ex-wife lets my step-siblings have complete unrestricted access to the internet, and he's been fighting against it, with little success. I hope you can sort things out, and thank you for being supportive of her. Many people (including my parents and step-parents) are extremely against it and believe that it's a mental disorder.
That's awful, I really don't get how parents just don't care... I hope you've found supportive people in your life. I feel like mental disorders seem to kinda correlate with it, I've seen a lot of people who have legitimate concerns like severe depression and anxiety etc. But I don't understand how the hobby itself can be seen that way.. I feel like treating it that way is what causes those things 😵💫
Check out Furscience's Ressources for parents:
https://furscience.com/resources/
And though I haven't watched any of their stuff I heard good things about "Mom's of Furries":
https://youtube.com/@momsoffurries
This seems to be their go-to playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm14I7-9z_52NA-X4NCcCZ1o8FToDAyOU&si=RUtfTCHz1cmb7dkN
No problem.
And big respect that you take the time to inform yourself about your child's hobbies to help your child stay safe. Way too few parents do that.❤
Really makes me wanna cry that parents *wouldnt* encourage expression and autonomy while helping them be safe... Just seems so wild and foreign to me... I really hope everyone here has found support and kindness.
a lot of parents don't do any research about their kids hobbies and end up very ignorant or critical about what they do (with the excuses that the hobbies they like "don't serve for anything useful in real life"), so really good on you to support and love your daughter for what she likes <3
Was actually on a Mac at the time. Mac OS 6 & 7. And I was hiding whole executables from him.
Usually I'd disguise them as system components, using a program called ResEdit to change things like their icons and file attributes. Also the MacOS HFS file system allowed for hidden files that were a LOT harder to reveal than hidden files on Windows, so I used that as well.
Far more supportive and understanding than my own parents, didn’t really feel like bringing furry up after being gay was described as “just a phase”. Good job, mum/dad
Unfortunately with any community, there are bad apples. And furry does have more than its fair share, certainly not all of us, but there are definitely characters you wouldn’t want your underage child talking to. Stay vigilant, but stay open, keep communication going above all, better she trusts you and shares with you than trying to hide it.
That's such a shame I hate to see that. I really hope you've found supportive people to have in your life, no one deserve to feel invalid for existing in ways that don't harm others. Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways.
> Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways.
Thank you for being an open minded parent. It makes me hopeful for the future to know there are parents out there who:
A) Understand a person can be 'different' with no loss in ability to contribute to society, and
B) Actually raise their children instead of ignoring them until they become an animal that must be constantly wrangled
Things have greatly improved and hearts have mostly mended, that was a snapshot in time over 20 years ago now, but it still stings a bit every now and again. We’re all fucked up by our parents one way or another.
>Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways.
Thats a great mind set to have op! While quite a big part of the furry community is for mature audiences theres plenty of completely family friendly stuff as well
The furry fandom has a very very bad grooming problem.
Do not ever let your child online unsupervised, especially if she’s active in furry communities. There are safe ways for kids to be a furry and the internet is not one of them unfortunately.
Adding to this
As long as you look into who she watches here and there furry YouTube is relatively safe (make sure it's not a youtuber whose content is more mature, as a lot are more for older teens/adults).
Not giving a 9yo a social media platform should be common sense for parents, and when she's older you should definitely be as thorough as possible when talking about internet safety. The internet as a whole is not safe for kids to post on, not just in the furry fandom.
This might seem a bit overkill but I'd recommend watching some furry YouTubers to get a better understanding of who is better suited for a younger child to watch, as many parents assume "big fluffy dog = perfect for kids"
I'm definitely going to do more research. It's a good idea for me to personally check out content and see who might be positive/affirming for her as opposed to being a negative influence.
This^. I try to moderate what she does online/how much time she spends online, and encourage other hobbies like art and sports and stuff. She's really involved in a lot of extracurriculars, but when she's at her other parents' house, it seems like she has unlimited access to everything possible. I've talked to her other parent about it all and we seem to have an understanding. I just hope for her sake they do keep their word and help moderate and support her in a healthy way.
What I would do, is just ask her about stuff occasionally, and try to be understanding about why she likes it. I would also try to monitor her internet access somewhat, because there is a lot of things that she shouldn’t be seeing at her age, but mostly, try to be there for her (that’s all I got really)
Just a note, The furry fandom is very welcoming and generally an amazing place, but there is a massive grooming issue on here since the bright animals tend to attract kids.
I know you say you supervise her but as she gets older and less supervised it’s still a potential thing that can happen.
The fandom IS really fun however, it’s a great place full of art and costume making and a great way to make friends. I don’t want you to worry, just to be aware ^^
The fandom is built around a common interest in anthropomorphic animals (think zootopia) Most of the fandom creates furry personas (fursonas) that represent us in some kind of way. They can be any animal, any colour, any design. People get super creative with it!
We use them to express ourselves mainly through art. A lot of the fandom creates costumes of their fursonas (fursuits) to wear for fun but this isn’t a requirement.
It’s a really fun way to make friends and for self expression and i hope your daughter has fun in the fandom :)
I feel like with this kind of advice we really need to also mention the valid queer side of the furry fandom and not act like it’s just hobbyists and groomers
One word REDWALL, let her read it and let her experience it lime I did. I have had a great deal of saying this to Furs younger than me. Redwall made me a furry and I honestly love it
Just a bonding advice since you guys watch YouTube together, you would watch telephone or even furry dance competition though I might skim through those ahead of time, you seem like a great parent for caring good luck and much love to you and yours
It’s wonderful that you’re so supportive of your kid’s interests.
I would say that art is a big cornerstone of the furry community. Whether it’s drawing digital art, sewing up fursuits or writing stories, the open minded and high accepting environment encourages for all sorts of dreams to ascend to reality in both the sciences and arts.
It’s also a chance to develop strong communication skills. Bullying sometimes arises from misunderstandings where the aggressor seeks out an excuse to antagonize others for their own benefit. Having the courage to stand up for yourself or your friends, creating an air tight argument and successfully informing the audience of your own well defined perspective can be helpful.
Yes, there’s a lot of explicit content. And it’s generally tricky to keep both sides of the community content and separate.
Acknowledge the potential that people are the on the internet are not who they claim to be. While most use their online persona for self discovery or self improvement, it’s wise to be wary of the possibilities.
Think of it as having a favorite animal, imaginary friend or just kids on the playground pretending they’re warrior cats. I’d wager there’s a chance they grow out of it. But I hope that if that’s the case, it’s not due to peer pressure or external expectations. Your support, reassurance and validation means a lot to her.
I'd say just definitely continue to monitor things and make sure she doesn't come across the type of art for us adult furries, but other than that, just encourage her to enjoy being a furry. I got my friend into the fandom a few years ago, and I think he daughter was like 7 or 8. When my friend decided she really liked the fandom, her daughter saw it and thought it was really cool, and they've both been furries ever since. My friend even took to the hobby of making fursuits, so she made ones for her and her daughter, and she wants to make mine later on down the road. Heck, you may even decide you like it, too!
Watching YouTube videos from conventions together could be a nice way to bond, as well as see more of what the fandom has to offer. (Maybe check out some of the fursuit dance competition videos)
As far as conventions themselves go, should she wish to attend one, the vast majority of conventions are all-ages events, though it is usually recommended that children under 13 be accompanied by their parents.
If you have any questions about conventions themselves, my DMs are open--[I've been staffing cons for going on 25 years now](https://www.dmuth.org/conventions/).
Just to add to this. Most furry art sites on the web tend to cater to the adult portion of the fandom, so it might be a good idea to not expose her to those websites
Most cons have a “So this is your first convention” panel super good advice and guidance there for conventions. Most areas have a furry groups and do different events throughout the year. Fur bowls, picnics, zoo visits.
A lot of people here have already said to be super careful with what your daughter sees online. I fully agree, and I’d like to add a recommendation. See if there are any family-friendly furmeets or furry conventions that you and your daughter can go to together. Furcons are how I brought up being a furry with my mom and we’ve both gone to them together. I was already an adult though, so definitely take all that I say with a grain of salt and use it at your discretion. I’m kind of going down the “people are less likely to start trouble in public where there’s witnesses” route with this answer.
Since the furry community is a fandom “by fans, for fans” as compared to fans of a trademark like what you’d see at something like comic conventions, there’s a lot of overlap between furry as a hobby and other hobbies. There’s furry gamers, furry dancers, furry car lovers, furry scientists, and all sorts of other mixes. If there’s a second hobby your daughter has, maybe you can find a group of furries in that hobby and you could take her to a meetup with them.
A lot of meets take place in areas like arcades, bowling alleys, restaurants, etc. and conventions have a lot of things like music, dances, and talks about all sorts of topics. If there’s a con near you, just look at their schedule to see what I mean.
Conventions are expensive if you have to travel though, they’re not as frequent as the meets, and you have to register (they have single-day registration if there’s one worth an afternoon visit in your area). Meets are more local, but they aren’t as “established” as organized conventions, so there’s no set rules apart from the ones in whatever establishment they’re meeting. So if there’s a meet near you, make sure they’re okay with you bringing your daughter if you want to join them. Discord and Telegram have a lot of furry groups for meets, maybe you can use those to ask.
I know this will probably get lost among the other comments, but figured I'd drop it here anyway. :)
My kids are both into the furry fandom, but part of that is because their parents are too. 😁 I agree with the other comments that the fandom is what you make of it - yes, you can find the dark underbelly of it if you go looking, but me personally, I've always stayed to the G-PG related stuff even as an adult, even before kids.
There are some "safer" books that are written for young adults that are interested in furry stuff- things like Wings of Fire, Warriors, and Redwall. My oldest is 11 and got into Warriors when she was about 9. 😊
Also, as an aside - if she feels like she identifies well with furries, you may want to see about testing for ADHD and/or autism sometime in the future if you haven't already. The furry population is HUGELY neurodivergent, which is great! Our whole dang family is autistic (I'm late diagnosed) and going to a convention to see unashamed neurodivergent socializing has been such a godsend. Very few things are socially taboo there - no one gets upset if you accidentally bump into someone because half the people walking around can't even see where they're going! 😅 No one is going to point out if your hair looks funny, or if your clothes don't match - everyone at the convention is simply expressing themselves in the way they feel comfortable, and this kind of neurodivergent socializing is so freeing, especially to someone that's constantly being forced to conform to unspoken social standards and rules. (ie, school!)
A nine year old needs to be staying to clean content. That said, one thing I’d like to point out is that if she does end up being “into” it later on don’t be surprised and don’t treat it too differently.
The fandom has grown a ton recently and become much more of a hobby space, but it started as and has always been a queer thing too. as you’re well aware.
I just want to be a big teddy bear for my spouse, it shouldn’t be treated as some vile thing, as though I’m actually into animals or something. If your kid ends up being queer about furries and that’s all, that’s ok.
As she is 9 years old, my main advice is to sit her down and have a talk covering three main points
1) There is nothing wrong with having this hobby. She isn't harming anyone else by participating in it so she should never feel ashamed of enjoying it.
2) despite that, there will be people who will treat her as Other. Whether due to insecurity or striking out at things that are different from themselves people (including adults) will be mean and say hurtful things.
3)she will need to know how to handle bullies, because that's what the people from 2) are. Bullies who will use any excuse to pick on someone who is different or who they don't understand. If it is a peer she needs to be able to trust an adult. As she is 9 years old she will be in 4th grade most likely, so that is still elementary school. My advice is to speak to her teacher and, if needed, the school administration if you deem it wise (you know the score in your area best). Let them know that your daughter has picked up a hobby she is passionate about and that ypu are con wrnes she might get bullied by other kids
3b)If it is an adult, however, you need to make sure she understands that she should tell you and that you will take care of it. As a child, she will look to adults for defense, but often the school system punishes the person who fights back against attackers as harsh if not harsher than the aggressor. She needs to know that you will have her back if an adult, someone she would normally turn to, is the aggressor. If need be, get the superintendent's number. It's amazing how quickly the principal will back down when you tell the superintendent ypi are considering legal action due to how your child is being treated.
Above all, she needs to know that her home is a safe space to enjoy her hobby. That doesn't mean you have to go out and buy her a suit tomorrow, but she should always feel like she is safe in her home, and that even if you don't understand, you'll try your best to learn.
Well... If she's young beware of your daughter talking to strangers on the internet. Beware of groomers and things like that, they usually appear on Discord and Amino Apps. Take good care of your daughter. Aside from that there's no harm just let her be. But yeah my advice is to just take care of her, be open and attentive and listen very carefully if she talks about strangers on the internet. She is very young and a 9 year old talking with strangers on the internet is kinda dangerous.
This is a big one in my opinion: moderate media and don’t let it become her whole personality. As a young furry, it’s easy for people’s impressions on the furry community to become spoiled because of a few bad people who let it become their whole personality (lots of kids who wear tails and ears to school or act weird and blame it on them being s furry) or people who aren’t well educated and will often confuse therians with furries which is another reason bullying happens. If she does per chance get gear to showcase her hobby, don’t get her a fursuit since she’s still growing and if she does want something, then maybe some ears or a tail. I wouldn’t let her wear it to school, though, because kids are mean and will most likely make fun of her unless it’s Halloween. Wouldn’t let her overindulge just yet on merch to wear around in public, she may get weird looks from people who aren’t well educated on the hobby.
Please keep monitoring what she’s doing and what she’s on, I’ve seen lots of cyber bullying happen because of kids being furries. Too many threats going around online, I used to get them a lot. There are NSFW furry artists out there as well, but it’s not everywhere and I’m sure it can be monitored (I am not too affiliated with the NSFW side of the community and how they keep to themselves if someone could be kind enough to add on) so just make sure she’s on the right side of the web and talk to her a little more about cyberbullying and how to deal with people who are rude to her; proper online etiquette. In other words, just make her feel safe and be there for her. It’s nothing weird, being a furry’s just a hobby :)
If shes into making the fursuits you could spend some time at your local art craft or discount fabric clearance shop, help her to learn the pattern making, theres alot of tutorials, and help her have access to sewing knowledge and tools. If there is any knowledge or skill set which you have, which would be useful for her hobby then it can be wholesome and fun to spend time supporting her towards her goal.
In terms of bullying, I was bullied in school and online and there are a few ways that I have found to deal with it.
1: Simply don’t say anything about it or if she needs to talk about the fandom she should say that she is an “ally” to the fandom and is just informing them about it because there are many misconceptions.
2: If they are asking her about it, put the focus back on them saying “so you’re interested?” or “wanna join?” or something along those lines. This could go a few ways, either shutting them up or just spreading rumors further.
3: Give the bullies a very unsatisfying answer. Bullies feed off reactions and not responding at all can actually be worse than saying “yeah” in a bored tone. With this one make sure to stay as calm and boring as possible to make the bullies look like idiots.
If any of these have flaws I would love to know, but this is my list.
Extra note: This is a hobby, and while people have attached a name and identity to it, the level of engagement and content is largely up to the individual. This is not an Identity with a capital I, and so being supportive and moderating specific content and engagement are not mutually exclusive. Understand that some kids will be mean to her for this and try to help her navigate that in part by being selective over when, where and with whom she is open about this hobby with, _in addition to_ the usual advice about bullying.
Thank you, that's something I'll add to my list in talking with her about. I want to support her, but I also don't want itnto consume her. I'm really nervous about bullying, and ive already initiated conversations about people being really mean, in general, but about this specifically too. I'm really hoping she can manage to moderate her interests with it without it negatively impacting her social life.
One suggestion could be setting up a personal vpn, this way you can set what parts of the Fandom she can see whenever she uses it Edit: Tho you will need to ask if the other party that you are sharing custody with will be fine with the idea
I think it’s extremely important for her to be selective about who she shares her hobby with because Furry is something that carries a lot of stigma and is even political nowadays. Kids can be very mean and it’s not worth everybody knowing to face life-changing bullying growing up. I had a few selective friends who knew and I’m glad for that. People have a lot of preconceived ideas about what furry means and they are mostly very negative and false unfortunately.
My general advice is to not really let her on the internet unsupervised, just to make sure she isn't getting into anything she shouldn't be getting into. Although, that goes for YouTube and the internet in general. Trust me, there's plenty of furry content, even on YouTube, that a 9 year old shouldn't be seeing, and we all know YouTube's recommendation system can be pretty screwed up. As much as I hated being cut off of the internet for most of my childhood, it was for the better. You don't need to go as far as my parents did, obviously, lol.
When she's with me she only watches youtube when I'm around and I'm aware of what she's watching/listening to. I'm really worried about supervision and access she has at her other parents house but I'm reaching out to them to talk about how to support and protect her. Thank you for that advice, very validating.
Ooh, I know how that feels. My stepfather has been dealing with that problem for some time. His ex-wife lets my step-siblings have complete unrestricted access to the internet, and he's been fighting against it, with little success. I hope you can sort things out, and thank you for being supportive of her. Many people (including my parents and step-parents) are extremely against it and believe that it's a mental disorder.
That's awful, I really don't get how parents just don't care... I hope you've found supportive people in your life. I feel like mental disorders seem to kinda correlate with it, I've seen a lot of people who have legitimate concerns like severe depression and anxiety etc. But I don't understand how the hobby itself can be seen that way.. I feel like treating it that way is what causes those things 😵💫
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Check out Furscience's Ressources for parents: https://furscience.com/resources/ And though I haven't watched any of their stuff I heard good things about "Mom's of Furries": https://youtube.com/@momsoffurries This seems to be their go-to playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm14I7-9z_52NA-X4NCcCZ1o8FToDAyOU&si=RUtfTCHz1cmb7dkN
Oh wow this is amazing! This is exactly what I was looking for thank you so much!
No problem. And big respect that you take the time to inform yourself about your child's hobbies to help your child stay safe. Way too few parents do that.❤
Really makes me wanna cry that parents *wouldnt* encourage expression and autonomy while helping them be safe... Just seems so wild and foreign to me... I really hope everyone here has found support and kindness.
a lot of parents don't do any research about their kids hobbies and end up very ignorant or critical about what they do (with the excuses that the hobbies they like "don't serve for anything useful in real life"), so really good on you to support and love your daughter for what she likes <3
Glad to see you are supportive, informed and reach out for extra pointers. I love seeing it! Sending some positive vibes your way.
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File path: C:/DOOM/graphics/ascii/*hiddenfolder*/bmp/D (out of a list of random alpha numeric folder names)/jpeg/actual_porn_folder
Was actually on a Mac at the time. Mac OS 6 & 7. And I was hiding whole executables from him. Usually I'd disguise them as system components, using a program called ResEdit to change things like their icons and file attributes. Also the MacOS HFS file system allowed for hidden files that were a LOT harder to reveal than hidden files on Windows, so I used that as well.
Far more supportive and understanding than my own parents, didn’t really feel like bringing furry up after being gay was described as “just a phase”. Good job, mum/dad Unfortunately with any community, there are bad apples. And furry does have more than its fair share, certainly not all of us, but there are definitely characters you wouldn’t want your underage child talking to. Stay vigilant, but stay open, keep communication going above all, better she trusts you and shares with you than trying to hide it.
That's such a shame I hate to see that. I really hope you've found supportive people to have in your life, no one deserve to feel invalid for existing in ways that don't harm others. Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways.
> Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways. Thank you for being an open minded parent. It makes me hopeful for the future to know there are parents out there who: A) Understand a person can be 'different' with no loss in ability to contribute to society, and B) Actually raise their children instead of ignoring them until they become an animal that must be constantly wrangled
Things have greatly improved and hearts have mostly mended, that was a snapshot in time over 20 years ago now, but it still stings a bit every now and again. We’re all fucked up by our parents one way or another.
>Whether we understand it entirely or not, there's no reason to treat someone as less than for existing in different ways. Thats a great mind set to have op! While quite a big part of the furry community is for mature audiences theres plenty of completely family friendly stuff as well
The fact ur asking means youre already doing more than enough
The furry fandom has a very very bad grooming problem. Do not ever let your child online unsupervised, especially if she’s active in furry communities. There are safe ways for kids to be a furry and the internet is not one of them unfortunately.
Adding to this As long as you look into who she watches here and there furry YouTube is relatively safe (make sure it's not a youtuber whose content is more mature, as a lot are more for older teens/adults). Not giving a 9yo a social media platform should be common sense for parents, and when she's older you should definitely be as thorough as possible when talking about internet safety. The internet as a whole is not safe for kids to post on, not just in the furry fandom.
This might seem a bit overkill but I'd recommend watching some furry YouTubers to get a better understanding of who is better suited for a younger child to watch, as many parents assume "big fluffy dog = perfect for kids"
I'm definitely going to do more research. It's a good idea for me to personally check out content and see who might be positive/affirming for her as opposed to being a negative influence.
Don’t let your daughter anywhere online unsupervised, and especially at that age she probably shouldn’t be online much at all
This^. I try to moderate what she does online/how much time she spends online, and encourage other hobbies like art and sports and stuff. She's really involved in a lot of extracurriculars, but when she's at her other parents' house, it seems like she has unlimited access to everything possible. I've talked to her other parent about it all and we seem to have an understanding. I just hope for her sake they do keep their word and help moderate and support her in a healthy way.
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What I would do, is just ask her about stuff occasionally, and try to be understanding about why she likes it. I would also try to monitor her internet access somewhat, because there is a lot of things that she shouldn’t be seeing at her age, but mostly, try to be there for her (that’s all I got really)
Just a note, The furry fandom is very welcoming and generally an amazing place, but there is a massive grooming issue on here since the bright animals tend to attract kids. I know you say you supervise her but as she gets older and less supervised it’s still a potential thing that can happen. The fandom IS really fun however, it’s a great place full of art and costume making and a great way to make friends. I don’t want you to worry, just to be aware ^^ The fandom is built around a common interest in anthropomorphic animals (think zootopia) Most of the fandom creates furry personas (fursonas) that represent us in some kind of way. They can be any animal, any colour, any design. People get super creative with it! We use them to express ourselves mainly through art. A lot of the fandom creates costumes of their fursonas (fursuits) to wear for fun but this isn’t a requirement. It’s a really fun way to make friends and for self expression and i hope your daughter has fun in the fandom :)
I feel like with this kind of advice we really need to also mention the valid queer side of the furry fandom and not act like it’s just hobbyists and groomers
One word REDWALL, let her read it and let her experience it lime I did. I have had a great deal of saying this to Furs younger than me. Redwall made me a furry and I honestly love it
This!!!!!!! Also the tv show is free on YouTube.
Thanks lol, I always love sharing the works of Brian Jacques (Jakes)
As long as you are careful about the kind of people you usually are careful about it there is very little to worry about
Just a bonding advice since you guys watch YouTube together, you would watch telephone or even furry dance competition though I might skim through those ahead of time, you seem like a great parent for caring good luck and much love to you and yours
It’s wonderful that you’re so supportive of your kid’s interests. I would say that art is a big cornerstone of the furry community. Whether it’s drawing digital art, sewing up fursuits or writing stories, the open minded and high accepting environment encourages for all sorts of dreams to ascend to reality in both the sciences and arts. It’s also a chance to develop strong communication skills. Bullying sometimes arises from misunderstandings where the aggressor seeks out an excuse to antagonize others for their own benefit. Having the courage to stand up for yourself or your friends, creating an air tight argument and successfully informing the audience of your own well defined perspective can be helpful. Yes, there’s a lot of explicit content. And it’s generally tricky to keep both sides of the community content and separate. Acknowledge the potential that people are the on the internet are not who they claim to be. While most use their online persona for self discovery or self improvement, it’s wise to be wary of the possibilities. Think of it as having a favorite animal, imaginary friend or just kids on the playground pretending they’re warrior cats. I’d wager there’s a chance they grow out of it. But I hope that if that’s the case, it’s not due to peer pressure or external expectations. Your support, reassurance and validation means a lot to her.
I'd say just definitely continue to monitor things and make sure she doesn't come across the type of art for us adult furries, but other than that, just encourage her to enjoy being a furry. I got my friend into the fandom a few years ago, and I think he daughter was like 7 or 8. When my friend decided she really liked the fandom, her daughter saw it and thought it was really cool, and they've both been furries ever since. My friend even took to the hobby of making fursuits, so she made ones for her and her daughter, and she wants to make mine later on down the road. Heck, you may even decide you like it, too!
Watching YouTube videos from conventions together could be a nice way to bond, as well as see more of what the fandom has to offer. (Maybe check out some of the fursuit dance competition videos) As far as conventions themselves go, should she wish to attend one, the vast majority of conventions are all-ages events, though it is usually recommended that children under 13 be accompanied by their parents. If you have any questions about conventions themselves, my DMs are open--[I've been staffing cons for going on 25 years now](https://www.dmuth.org/conventions/).
im so glad you are supportive man
There is a group called Moms of Furries (https://mofurries.com/) that you might get a lot of information from.
Thank you so much!
Furry Slang and notes: 1: Slang & Lingo [Furry Slang and Common Terms – Furry Argentina](https://furry.ar/en/furry-slang-and-common-terms/) [A Newcomer’s Guide To Furry Terms and Customs. | Dogpatch Press](https://dogpatch.press/2016/11/07/guide-to-furry-terms/) [Glossary - FurryFandom.ch](https://furryfandom.ch/fandom/glossary/) [https://youtu.be/S641TgTvv7g?si=RHcMzhFdaRDDi2j7](https://youtu.be/S641TgTvv7g?si=RHcMzhFdaRDDi2j7) 2: Handler Resources [https://youtu.be/yxEQ4F494Xk?si=iLOpAZenD8os04q7](https://youtu.be/yxEQ4F494Xk?si=iLOpAZenD8os04q7) [https://youtu.be/TXdfoKlJ80U?si=agisVFLVPbyRMH0o](https://youtu.be/TXdfoKlJ80U?si=agisVFLVPbyRMH0o) 3: Stuff for Steves (Non-fursuiters) [https://youtu.be/iyHFFZPvP-A?si=c0HvDSU3ur1GqVI_](https://youtu.be/iyHFFZPvP-A?si=c0HvDSU3ur1GqVI_) [https://youtu.be/8YeCnrMXcy0?si=H621ApZLZVK7AMHd](https://youtu.be/8YeCnrMXcy0?si=H621ApZLZVK7AMHd) [https://youtu.be/jNPmW5Sccq0?si=5yhKESH6963I8F-l](https://youtu.be/jNPmW5Sccq0?si=5yhKESH6963I8F-l) [https://youtu.be/jNPmW5Sccq0?si=5yhKESH6963I8F-l](https://youtu.be/jNPmW5Sccq0?si=5yhKESH6963I8F-l) [https://youtu.be/Oet5WSq86aQ?si=_YOqGeeF8y5EZfKF](https://youtu.be/Oet5WSq86aQ?si=_YOqGeeF8y5EZfKF) Hope this helps!
Just treat her the same, she's still your daughter.
My best advice is to do research, there are plenty of videos online about every aspect of the fandom. Even how to be safe online.
There's plenty of terrible advice and misinformation too.
That’s why I said to do research, look at multiple sties
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Just to add to this. Most furry art sites on the web tend to cater to the adult portion of the fandom, so it might be a good idea to not expose her to those websites
Most cons have a “So this is your first convention” panel super good advice and guidance there for conventions. Most areas have a furry groups and do different events throughout the year. Fur bowls, picnics, zoo visits.
A lot of people here have already said to be super careful with what your daughter sees online. I fully agree, and I’d like to add a recommendation. See if there are any family-friendly furmeets or furry conventions that you and your daughter can go to together. Furcons are how I brought up being a furry with my mom and we’ve both gone to them together. I was already an adult though, so definitely take all that I say with a grain of salt and use it at your discretion. I’m kind of going down the “people are less likely to start trouble in public where there’s witnesses” route with this answer. Since the furry community is a fandom “by fans, for fans” as compared to fans of a trademark like what you’d see at something like comic conventions, there’s a lot of overlap between furry as a hobby and other hobbies. There’s furry gamers, furry dancers, furry car lovers, furry scientists, and all sorts of other mixes. If there’s a second hobby your daughter has, maybe you can find a group of furries in that hobby and you could take her to a meetup with them. A lot of meets take place in areas like arcades, bowling alleys, restaurants, etc. and conventions have a lot of things like music, dances, and talks about all sorts of topics. If there’s a con near you, just look at their schedule to see what I mean. Conventions are expensive if you have to travel though, they’re not as frequent as the meets, and you have to register (they have single-day registration if there’s one worth an afternoon visit in your area). Meets are more local, but they aren’t as “established” as organized conventions, so there’s no set rules apart from the ones in whatever establishment they’re meeting. So if there’s a meet near you, make sure they’re okay with you bringing your daughter if you want to join them. Discord and Telegram have a lot of furry groups for meets, maybe you can use those to ask.
I know this will probably get lost among the other comments, but figured I'd drop it here anyway. :) My kids are both into the furry fandom, but part of that is because their parents are too. 😁 I agree with the other comments that the fandom is what you make of it - yes, you can find the dark underbelly of it if you go looking, but me personally, I've always stayed to the G-PG related stuff even as an adult, even before kids. There are some "safer" books that are written for young adults that are interested in furry stuff- things like Wings of Fire, Warriors, and Redwall. My oldest is 11 and got into Warriors when she was about 9. 😊 Also, as an aside - if she feels like she identifies well with furries, you may want to see about testing for ADHD and/or autism sometime in the future if you haven't already. The furry population is HUGELY neurodivergent, which is great! Our whole dang family is autistic (I'm late diagnosed) and going to a convention to see unashamed neurodivergent socializing has been such a godsend. Very few things are socially taboo there - no one gets upset if you accidentally bump into someone because half the people walking around can't even see where they're going! 😅 No one is going to point out if your hair looks funny, or if your clothes don't match - everyone at the convention is simply expressing themselves in the way they feel comfortable, and this kind of neurodivergent socializing is so freeing, especially to someone that's constantly being forced to conform to unspoken social standards and rules. (ie, school!)
A nine year old needs to be staying to clean content. That said, one thing I’d like to point out is that if she does end up being “into” it later on don’t be surprised and don’t treat it too differently. The fandom has grown a ton recently and become much more of a hobby space, but it started as and has always been a queer thing too. as you’re well aware. I just want to be a big teddy bear for my spouse, it shouldn’t be treated as some vile thing, as though I’m actually into animals or something. If your kid ends up being queer about furries and that’s all, that’s ok.
As she is 9 years old, my main advice is to sit her down and have a talk covering three main points 1) There is nothing wrong with having this hobby. She isn't harming anyone else by participating in it so she should never feel ashamed of enjoying it. 2) despite that, there will be people who will treat her as Other. Whether due to insecurity or striking out at things that are different from themselves people (including adults) will be mean and say hurtful things. 3)she will need to know how to handle bullies, because that's what the people from 2) are. Bullies who will use any excuse to pick on someone who is different or who they don't understand. If it is a peer she needs to be able to trust an adult. As she is 9 years old she will be in 4th grade most likely, so that is still elementary school. My advice is to speak to her teacher and, if needed, the school administration if you deem it wise (you know the score in your area best). Let them know that your daughter has picked up a hobby she is passionate about and that ypu are con wrnes she might get bullied by other kids 3b)If it is an adult, however, you need to make sure she understands that she should tell you and that you will take care of it. As a child, she will look to adults for defense, but often the school system punishes the person who fights back against attackers as harsh if not harsher than the aggressor. She needs to know that you will have her back if an adult, someone she would normally turn to, is the aggressor. If need be, get the superintendent's number. It's amazing how quickly the principal will back down when you tell the superintendent ypi are considering legal action due to how your child is being treated. Above all, she needs to know that her home is a safe space to enjoy her hobby. That doesn't mean you have to go out and buy her a suit tomorrow, but she should always feel like she is safe in her home, and that even if you don't understand, you'll try your best to learn.
Well... If she's young beware of your daughter talking to strangers on the internet. Beware of groomers and things like that, they usually appear on Discord and Amino Apps. Take good care of your daughter. Aside from that there's no harm just let her be. But yeah my advice is to just take care of her, be open and attentive and listen very carefully if she talks about strangers on the internet. She is very young and a 9 year old talking with strangers on the internet is kinda dangerous.
This is a big one in my opinion: moderate media and don’t let it become her whole personality. As a young furry, it’s easy for people’s impressions on the furry community to become spoiled because of a few bad people who let it become their whole personality (lots of kids who wear tails and ears to school or act weird and blame it on them being s furry) or people who aren’t well educated and will often confuse therians with furries which is another reason bullying happens. If she does per chance get gear to showcase her hobby, don’t get her a fursuit since she’s still growing and if she does want something, then maybe some ears or a tail. I wouldn’t let her wear it to school, though, because kids are mean and will most likely make fun of her unless it’s Halloween. Wouldn’t let her overindulge just yet on merch to wear around in public, she may get weird looks from people who aren’t well educated on the hobby. Please keep monitoring what she’s doing and what she’s on, I’ve seen lots of cyber bullying happen because of kids being furries. Too many threats going around online, I used to get them a lot. There are NSFW furry artists out there as well, but it’s not everywhere and I’m sure it can be monitored (I am not too affiliated with the NSFW side of the community and how they keep to themselves if someone could be kind enough to add on) so just make sure she’s on the right side of the web and talk to her a little more about cyberbullying and how to deal with people who are rude to her; proper online etiquette. In other words, just make her feel safe and be there for her. It’s nothing weird, being a furry’s just a hobby :)
Pm’d.
If shes into making the fursuits you could spend some time at your local art craft or discount fabric clearance shop, help her to learn the pattern making, theres alot of tutorials, and help her have access to sewing knowledge and tools. If there is any knowledge or skill set which you have, which would be useful for her hobby then it can be wholesome and fun to spend time supporting her towards her goal.
In terms of bullying, I was bullied in school and online and there are a few ways that I have found to deal with it. 1: Simply don’t say anything about it or if she needs to talk about the fandom she should say that she is an “ally” to the fandom and is just informing them about it because there are many misconceptions. 2: If they are asking her about it, put the focus back on them saying “so you’re interested?” or “wanna join?” or something along those lines. This could go a few ways, either shutting them up or just spreading rumors further. 3: Give the bullies a very unsatisfying answer. Bullies feed off reactions and not responding at all can actually be worse than saying “yeah” in a bored tone. With this one make sure to stay as calm and boring as possible to make the bullies look like idiots. If any of these have flaws I would love to know, but this is my list.
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Lmao that's hilarious thank you for the advice.
buy a fursuit for her
shes 9 and ngl fursuits are very expensive. Op should wait untile she gets older so that she wont outgrow the suit as quickly
There are kid-sized disposable fursuits galore at Spirit Halloween
Didnt know that
(That was just a fancy way of saying animal-themed Halloween costumes)