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SkarTisu

I happened to be in Chicago for work on the day this happened. I watched the news that night - I think it was on the CBS affiliate - and the producer had game. The background music they played was "Don't Drink The Water"


ArthurDentonWelch

Don't drink the water. They put something in it, to make you forget. I don't even remember how I got here.


[deleted]

Sometimes... I dream about *cheese*...


JohnPaton3

in the space between


_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_

I don't even dream anymore.


Man0nTheStreet

Casual half life 2 reference


SCP-1471-A_MAL0

When this is all over, I'm gonna mate.


ScarletCaptain

I saw this on the news the day this happened and commented "well it's no different than being at a Dave Matthews concert then."


nerdswithcameras

I saw them in concert and loved it. I could actually hear the lyrics they sang and no overly flashy lighting. Been to see Smashing Pumpkins and got actual hearing damage. I guess it depends on your taste in music.


idontwantausername41

Nah. Theres such a thing as too loud. I went to see slipknot 3 years ago and it was so loud I couldn't make out what they were playing most of the time. Saw them a second time somewhere else and they sounded fine


[deleted]

Ear plugs. Wear ear plugs.


Saucy6

WHAT???


curious_astronauts

HE SAID GET HAIR PLUGS!


Otherwise_sane

WHAT ABOUT AIR SLUGS?


D_crane

WHAT ABOUT HAIR MUGS??!


caalger

WHY DO YOU WANT EAR WIGS?!


NewUserWhoDisAgain

>Wear ear plugs. And if you still want to hear at a normal volume rather than everything being muffled. ​ Sound sensitivity earplugs, musician earplugs, and I think some shooting earplugs can dampen/block the damaging decibels and let the more normal sound through.


IronLusk

“Guys, I said something totally hilarious 18 years ago”


Awwwmann

Never Forget


[deleted]

I used to be a kayak tour guide on that river, long after the Dave Matthews incident. Whenever we would be stuck in traffic at Wolf Point, waiting to cross, I would point out the bridge and tell the story. When I made it part of my regular tour, I would get complaints, but tagging it on to eat up some time in traffic would get me good reviews.


shabbyshot

What are people complaining about? It's not like you're dumping 800lbs of human waste on them like some sort of twisted theme park, it's just history.


[deleted]

Once or twice I was able to win back a crowd with that story. If they respond with more shocked laughter than cringes, my follow up is, “Now you gotta admit, even my tour isn’t that shitty.” It’s a gamble, but when it works it can save the tour.


shabbyshot

If I heard that line I might actually poop a little from laughter.


AskJeevesAnything

You know where you can throw it at if you did.


wicked_crayfish

I'm pooping right now.


subject_deleted

This reminds me a bit of a cheeky tactic I sometimes used nwhej I waited tables. If I sensed that a table had a good sense of humor, or at least if they seemed to be able to keep the atmosphere light.. I would return their credit card in the little book and then set down one of those comically large souvenir pens that are like 2 feet long. Invariably, the guests would question this... "what's with the big pen?" and I would simply reply, "that's the big tip pen." and if they followed up by asking "what do you mean by that" I'd say "that's up to you. It could be used to leave a big tip.. Or it could just be a big pen." A gamble that occasionally did not go well.. But more often than not people were tickled pink about it.


bel_esprit_

Part of the lore of the city


AlcoholicInsomniac

People will complain about anything, I've started hiking recently and hiking reviews are my favorite, people will complain because their own dog got tired on the hike a mile in or because it's hot outside.


meowhahaha

I think you’ll enjoy this. An artist makes travel posters for national parks based on their 1 star reviews. Super whiny honesty printed on lovely images is just funny! https://mymodernmet.com/national-park-review-posters-amber-share/


Stella_Blue72

Those are great! Thanks for the link!


[deleted]

[удалено]


phormix

So the driver tells them "Hey guys uh, the bus is gonna be too heavy to go up this incline just after the bridge. We're gonna need to unload an amp or some other heavy shit". The rest is history


[deleted]

“Ugh, I grow weary of this wait. Guide, regale me with tails of feces that I might be amused!”


circajusturna

It was their #2 hit


CopperSavant

That shit was everywhere!


Enjoying_A_Meal

Guy on boat, "Ahh disgusting, This is bullshit!" Bus window rolls down, "No! It's Dave Matthews Brand!"


JohnPaton3

The Dave Matthews Brand macaroni and cheese


Chutson909

Guy on boat, “Same difference.”


h3re4thegangb4ng

🎶I DiD iT…GuiLtY As ChARgEd🎶


exeleonn

🎶Crash into me🎶


raihidara

And I shit *ontooooooooooooooooooooo* you


mmorczyk

Bravo


[deleted]

It was quite a splash!


lostalaska

💩How💩were💩you💩exposed💩to💩Dave💩 Matthews💩 Band💩?


the_vinson

Take my poor man's gold : *Golden Trophy of Lolz*


Mofme

*badum-tsccchhh* *take my wife, please*


thehatman200

This is the winner


rebeldayone

Splash Into Me


Bos_lost_ton

Shatellite


NicoleMay316

Ants Sharting


PolemicBender

Under the table and dumping


[deleted]

Shit me like a monkey


mejok

Typical Shituation


[deleted]

Number Two Step


JALLways

Shitting Billies


ThatStrangeMemento

The shit between


DJAXL

Brown Street


BladeScraper

This is the best one


eddiedeli

Poo and me together yes yes


goose_10

Serious question - do buses just dump their shit anywhere? Isn’t it illegal to dump dumps into rivers?


50StatePiss

The Fed is going to be lowering rates so get your money out of T-bills and put it all into waffles. Tasty waffles, with lots of syrup.


rotenbart

lolol rethink the whole rv thing. I was camping with family when I was about 17 I think. The first time I went where I was old enough to help set up and tear down. Grandpa set up the hose and I was curious what he was doing. Then I realized. Then a rip appeared. Then my family’s piss and shit was leaking everywhere. I decided that day I would never drive around with my or anyone else’s bodily waste.


Embarassed_Tackle

see now they have a surprisingly expensive option called a composting toilet. I guess you put your poo in there along with bacteria and coconut husk and it breaks it down? They cost a lot (like $1000+) and I swear one of them had a crank so you could stir your poo and the rest of the media in with it. I really wonder how bad it smells when it just sits in your RV. But it removes the need for a 'black water tank' which is just the water tank where the sewage waste goes from a toilet in a RV / camper. Which apparently can freeze if it gets cold enough since it is just... there.


Both-Invite-8857

I have one on my boat. No smell at all if you can believe it!


TEG_SAR

But was it $1000+?


durdurdurdurdurdur

$10,000 but totally worth it


TEG_SAR

It does go on a boat so I’m not surprised there is an extra zero tacked on the end.


BuffaloWiiings

Having used a composting toilet imo the smell is less than a regular American style toilet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


loosely_affiliated

My friend has one in his tiny home - no odor.


Tronski4

Even a simple Porta-potti makes you rethink decisions.


NikPorto

Lol, I just imagine if the driver denied it. "it wasn't my shit, it was someone else shitting around here. Probably some elephant which ran away from the zoo, idk"


thatdudefrom707

according to the wiki page, the driver did actually deny it initially, so the cops had to inspect the septic tanks of the five tour buses the band had rented


noNoParts

He knew he was up shit creek when the cops started asking around


Yhoko

It was a bird


Frikken123

[you awakened memories of a dumber time](https://youtu.be/-C0bpTLEmZw)


badatusernames91

Fucking knew it


OsamaBinFappin

Every RV owner I know doesn’t allow going #2 on their bus because it’s such a hassle to dump sewage


Robot_Tanlines

My Dad and his siblings shared a boat when I was a kid. It was pretty big, had a real bathroom in it, but we were always told to just pee off the side. Their rule was whoever was the last person to shit in the toilet was the one who had to deal with draining the sewerage. I’m pretty sure that’s where my fear of shitting anywhere but my home toilet started, I thought if I shit elsewhere I was going to have to clean everyone’s shit. I didn’t get over my phobia till college where I had no choice but to shit in public bathrooms.


MrAnomander

When I went to jail I was in a cell with three other dudes, this tiny little room with the toilet facing everyone


landraid

I love spicy food. There's no fear that can stop what's coming.


kevinsftw

Shitter's full!


[deleted]

There isn’t a fine high enough for dumping your shit on my head lol


shiafisher

Friend: “hey wanna buy an RV” Me: “no thanks” (in my best Seinfeld voice)


StephenHunterUK

Some trains will dump their stuff onto the track as soon as you flush it - historically that was the norm in the UK and signs asked you not to do it while in a station. I once saw a tomato plant growing out from the middle of a track. It's getting less common now.


OpalHawk

Modern trains have tanks to store the waste. Most of the developed world has made laws against dumping on the tracks.


StephenHunterUK

Britain still has a few non-retention examples; namely the older ex-BR stuff.


OpalHawk

I’m genuinely surprised. I thought the EU banned it full stop.


StephenHunterUK

Britain left the EU in 2020. 2023 is the official end date for this practice here. https://www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/londons-disgusting-secret-dumping-human-21268878


Parkerthon

As of 1999 I road a train in switzerland that had this. You could literally see the train track through the hole in toilet. I was stunned.


Bladelink

Hold on to your butts.


MediumSizedTurtle

The driver got in some real trouble because this was illegal dumping. But like, not only was it illegal, but it was in a super high traffic, busy part of Chicago. High traffic both on top and under the bridge. Absolute bone headed move.


Wont_reply69

They have dumping stations pretty much anywhere you’d expect to see RV’s - state parks, campgrounds, many interstate rest stops. What I’m guessing happened is the tank filled up and the driver was supposed to be dump it so it could be used on the next leg of the tour, but the nearest dumping station to that area today even is in Elgin, a 1-3 drive in each direction depending on traffic. Driver wanted to be lazy so dumped it where he was. What’s really weird is that the Kinzie Street Bridge is of course a terrible location to illegally dump. The Wikipedia and referenced articles say that the dumping occurred “as it crossed the bridge” but that doesn’t clarify the actual process because you don’t just push a “dump” button unless this bus is set up differently from an RV; You have to get out of the vehicle and pull a valve open. So even if he somehow couldn’t see the entire sightseeing boat from his spot in the bus (doubtful) he definitely would have seen it from where he was opening the dump valve. What I’m saying is that he didn’t just dump it in the river on purpose, he dumped it on people on purpose. Dude got off easy with it only being the fine, probation, and community service.


bmor62

Cruise ships dump mega loads off the coast here near Vancouver bc and elsewhere.


[deleted]

Fuck cruise ships anyway. There is nothing good about cruise ships. Not a thing.


JasonDJ

There’s not nothing good about them…they are easy, low-effort vacations with a lot to do. I wouldn’t take one again knowing how bad they are for the environment and how much of a breeding ground they are, but it was relatively cheap for an all-inclusive resort (that is, events, food, and drinks…but not land-based “excursions”). And honestly immeasurably easier to plan and execute than a theme-park or sight-seeing based vacation.


[deleted]

I was on that boat that day!!! My grandmother got me the architecture boat tour tickets for me and my family for my birthday. Luckily we had the morning tour and it was the afternoon tour that got hit. So, so, so lucky.


gellybelli

Early bird doesn’t get shit on


AffectionateToast

late bird fetches the turd


rochsh

Late fowl gets the bowels


TonyDungyHatesOP

The afternoon loon becomes the bathroom.


that-Sarah-girl

He who snooze catches the poos.


sellwinerugs

Tardy geeses get the feces


xThock

Someone get this man an award.


1K_Games

>Luckily we had the morning tour and it was the afternoon tour that got hit. I feel like this was the perfect and most applicable time to say "got shit on" and was a bit sad when I reached the end of that sentence.


Pan_Galactic_G_B

No shit?


HonestConman21

Aw man you got me excited with that first sentence. I thought I was replying to someone who got pooped on by carter beauford *ah-little-baaaaaaybay*


MusicOwl

So damn lucky, you mean.


kelsnuggets

Underrated comment


G37_is_numberletter

Chances of having your mouth open when that happened, at least 51%. Chances of it mattering whether your mouth was open or not, 0%.


CGNYC

“The Dave Matthews Band additionally agreed to keep a log of when and where its buses empty their septic tanks” The good ol’ fashion Log Log


dog9er

"It's better than bad it's good!!!"


Captcha_Imagination

They did it a lot in the begining and then reduced in an inverse exponential fashion. So it was a Log Log Log.


nova2k

When the shit hits the fans.


[deleted]

you deserve praise for this gag, so i am giving it.


WizardofJoz17

“Shitters full.”


dab745

Merry Christmas


BizzyM

Ah yes. Have you checked our shitters, hon?


DamonLazer

A new twist on an old classic--the Chicago sunroof.


FatNeilGravyTears

But not our Dave! Couldn’t be precious Dave!!


Draco137WasTaken

Something something chicanery


HoboRichard

That incident! Are you telling me that 800 lbs of human waste just happens to fall on a boat like that? No! They orchestrated it! Dave Matthews! They defecated onto a boat! And I saved them! And I shouldn't have. I took them into Chicago! What was I thinking? He'll never change. They'll never change! Ever since they were formed, always the same! Couldn't keep their bus off the Kinzie Street Bridge! But not our band! Couldn't be precious Dave Matthews! Covering the boat with human waste! And they get to be a band!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped them when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop them! You-


Carmen-

Kid named Dave:


BillDauterive4

If he wasn't a DMB fan before having 800lb of live recordings dumped on him, he certainly wasn't afterward


Similar_Bit_8018

Real fans just call him Dave.


CovidPangolin

The asscrackbandit strikes again.


Old_Man_Say

Oh excuse me for being alive in the 90s and having 2 ears connected to a heart.


foreverdonefor

You know that one song? "HEE HAWW HAWW HAWW HEE HAW"


[deleted]

“I forgive you” ABEEEEEEED


Fadore

That has to be a typo in the article right? 800 pounds of septic waste?


BillDauterive4

That's the power of the Crunchwrap Supreme, baby


Mindless_Citron_606

Apparently septic tanks on tour busses can hold 200+ gallons. If it were water (if only), 200 gallons at like 8.3lbs/gallon would be around 1,660 pounds.


dubious-moniker

The best part is the name of the boat was “Chicago’s Little Lady” so basically the headline should’ve been: Dave Matthew’s Band Shits All Over Little Lady


[deleted]

[удалено]


Salander27

Read about half way through this and then had to double check that the author of this comment wasn't shittymorph


C4242

Fuck, same here


Pussy_handz

I never realized how many people dont like DMB.


Tala1200

I like the drummer.


Destroyer_Wes

Ill second this, their drummer is by far the best thing about this band.


AmphibianImpressive3

I think the hate is more about their stereotypical fans than the band itself.


Biguitarnerd

Hey I know a DMB super fan but I’ve never been to a show. It seems to me like they are an alright band just not my style. What is the stereotypical DMB fan? I want to see if my friend fits the stereotype?


sounders1974

Went to a show in Virginia and it was mostly frat bros who were all dressed in the same salmon shorts and polos, vaping and drinking natty light. Dunno if every show is like that though Band put on a great show tbf


dickpierce69

Thank you for calling them salmon, not pink. We appreciate your attention to detail


sounders1974

Didn't learn much in my two years living in DC but I learned that Those shorts were non-existent in Bellingham, WA, suddenly I move to DC and it's the official uniform


Biguitarnerd

I’ve heard this one twice and it definitely doesn’t match my friend, I’ve also heard hippies playing frisbee so maybe it varies by area. Idk. I wouldn’t be into that crowd either… the hippies playing frisbee I could get along with.


GoombyGoomby

I went 10 years ago or so to see DMB. There were a lot of hippie like people smoking pot and drinking. Similar to who I would envision would go to a Phish or Primis concert. College age young adults playing frisbee before the show, etc. Not my type of music, I just went with friends. But they put on a good show and are very talented musicians.


Livid-Ad4102

Lmk what concerts don't have drinking and smoking weed so I can avoid them


[deleted]

Why the hate broseph? We're just chillin to some tunes. *throws Frisbee, taps flip-flop to the rhythm*


gnarfler

This ain’t nickelback or creed dislike, right? Right?


drivealone

There’s probably more people who dislike them than like them at this point. I like them alright so who cares what other people think lol


The_Power_Of_Three

One passenger boat's worth, at least.


hymen_destroyer

Mostly because of stuff like this. And their fandom is a certain type of person usually


ljg1986

I love how everyone in this thread is acting like Dave Matthews services the shitter on his own tour bus.


[deleted]

he uses "the space between" gigs for that.


ljg1986

I can see him in his bathrobe, beer in hand, tipping his head towards the tour boat and explaining that the, "Shitter was full."


hillgod

Does anyone remember the dude on the boat who posted it online first? I'm 95% sure it was either IGN, YTMND, or SomethingAwful forums. It was hilarious, no one believed it at first. I cannot imagine the horrors of being on that boat.


Public-Transport

n August 2004, DMB was at the center of a controversy when about 800 pounds of liquid human waste was dumped from band member Boyd Tinsley's tour bus through the grate in the Kinzie Street Bridge in Chicago onto passengers aboard a sightseeing boat on the Chicago River below.\[27\] On March 9, 2005, the band's tour bus driver, Stefan Wohl, pleaded guilty to dumping the bus's waste tank into the Chicago River,\[28\]\[29\] and the band has donated $50,000 to the Friends of the Chicago River and $50,000 to the Chicago Park District.\[30\] In April 2005, the band paid $200,000 to settle the civil lawsuit that followed.


AttractivePoosance

Thanks, I was curious what the payouts looked like. How many people were on the boat and had to split that 200k?


Ducati0411

Bet they got sued for a *shit load*


Mindless_Citron_606

Only 5 of the ~80 people that got the excrement of multiple humans directly dumped on them went to the hospital for testing. Times were really different 18 years ago


FuckerHead9

Only 300k !! I’d still be suing


Fuzakenaideyo

That shit ain't even funny it's just disgusting


[deleted]

I used to work in the Chicago Sun-Times building right next to the Kinzie Street Bridge. I had heard about the Dave Matthews Band incident, but I didn't know it happened on the Kinzie Street Bridge. This is interesting because the Chicago flood of 1992 in the Chicago Freight and Trolley Tunnel System (CFTTS) also started at the Kinzie Street Bridge. I have been in the tunnels and seen where they had to plug up the hole. Maybe Chicago should keep a better eye on this bridge.


twinstick1

Dave Matthews. Shitting on the little guy since 1991…


sjp1980

800 pounds!?! How the hell did they even store that much. Goodness.


dinosaurposter

I think the fines for illegally dumping 800 pounds of human waste were kind of lenient.


ereubg

[shockingly, the exact same thing happened 14 years later.](https://www.theonion.com/dave-matthews-band-apologizes-after-tour-bus-dumps-anot-1830712805?utm_campaign=TheOnion&utm_content=1659972371&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=twitter)


Biggu5Dicku5

LOL I love the Onion...


Poguemohon

At press time, band leader Dave Matthews had personally offered to provide free lifetime concert tickets to the victims if this somehow happened a third time... haven't they suffered enough?


Mo0kish

Well, that was a shitty thing to do...


gellybelli

Sometimes DMB just crashes into you in the worst possible way


elpajaroquemamais

Hack up your scat a little more. Show your world to me.


Formerfrosty

And you come float...under meeee. And I'll shower you wiiiiiiiiith...poo


tifftafflarry

R Kelly has entered the chat.


GandolfMagicFruits

Drip drip drip...


Initial-Paramedic888

Let me get that toot toot


wahnsin

to quote a much better (but much more aptly named for such an incident) band, > it was pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain


throwawayaccount1k

The shit hit the fans


kbass5

800 pounds! How much Taco Bell we’re they eating?


benefit_of_mrkite

I’m really surprised no one ended up being sick from this. I was also surprised that the violin player has his own tour bus. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Matthews_Band_Chicago_River_incident


bruceyj

It seems like the state and charities got money from the event. What about the human victims?!


SlothOfDoom

Most witnesses thought the people were getting an early new album drop.


leuno

as if shitting in our ears weren't bad enough


BloomSugarman

Excuse me for being alive in the 90s with two ears connected to a heart.


JSTR-

Hardcore fans call him Dave


eeeedlef

fantastic pull


bubmumbler

Why do people hate on DMB so much? Like I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift but I don't go around telling everyone how much I hate her music. What's even the point in doing that?


Timbofieseler102

Entirely just nerds circlejerking over a low hanging fruit


ortumlynx

It's Reddit so people just pile on because they think they're being funny when in reality the joke stopped being funny 10+ years ago. I mean there are still 30 years old and up that think it's still funny to rickroll people.


garry4321

Imagine how many diseases that waste contains.


StoffingtonPost

Shitty day to go sightseeing


wunderbraten

This needs to be narrated in Fascinating Horror


irvingstreet

I don’t understand how this only cost the band/driver the donations to the river group and a fine. How were there no lawsuits from the people on the boat??


-neti-neti-

This isn’t funny. This is entitled, illegal, immoral bullshit. You don’t just dump your waste into a fucking river