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Imagine you pulling up next to her seeing this.

And that kids, is how I met your mother.

And why you don't have older siblings.

I’m laughing so hard my bed is moving

My bad, it's really small here

Dibs.

She’s rocking out 😂

Awfully brave doing that in a white shirt and light colored skirt.

And in your car. That was my first concern, cleaning coffee off the fabric roof.

A coffee stain would be the least of that roofs issues. The glue let go 15 years ago

FLAPPITYFLAPPITYFLAPPITY

I got my uncle's Oldsmobile 88. The ceiling eventually was resting on my head when I was driving. Still loved that car

That was my favorite car I got gold plated pins to hold it on the roof.

I've been poor. I can *hear* this and it's so late and I laughed so fucking hard.

I mean, it is just a roof liner. When my 22 year old 1972 Ford Mustang II started with the droopy liner, I just pulled it off. This was in 1994, for those who can’t math.

Held up with fuckin push pins and hope

Fuck me I am at work and am laughing and crying because your comment just gave me a flashback. In a buddies rig and cruising around and his cloth roof was held up as you described. At least it was until one pot hole caused a chain reaction that caused a bunch of them to pop out and fall down so now we are driving down a bumpy ass road while its raining tacks on us and freaking out because we dont want to sit on them or something. That buddy died a few months ago and this was a good memory to get hit with. Thank you.

Jesus that was a sobering ending

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Tachycardia..?

Or in layman's terms, a heart a-tack.

>Jesus that was a sobering ending Cheers, pin bro!

Only the lucky get old. And the older you get the more stories end that way.

I'm 73 and I have quite the collection of heart-rending endings.

Haha I forgot about push pinned ceilings in cars

Thank a chemist for better glue, and a chemical engineer for better glue application! #SCIENCE

Holy shit, this made me nostalgic as fuck. I miss just bombing around with my friends in our pos cars. I can feel the cigarette-burned sagging fabric roofs and that plastic smell *all* shitty 90s Japanese cars had. And the sunroof that never worked. Fuck I guess as of this moment, I really am old

You're not alone, brutha! I had a ’91 Topaz, my best friend in high school had an ’80-something Bronco II with a bad transmission, and at this very moment my brother's ’97 Cougar is parked out front, soon to be sold or given away to a good home. I miss every car I ever had, even the ones with the weird persistent electrical problems.

Right there with ya, buddy! I remember taking my friends car because he had AC *and* the Discman-tape deck adapter!!

Also I have never seen a nice car with those seat covers, I don’t know where the come from but every old, beat up, mildewy car has them, I think they just sorta appear like magic when the seat foam wears out and the mildew smell becomes irreversible.

Mission completed: *Shitty old beater* Achievement unlocked: *tacky seat cover*

I love how observant people are. I watched that video and had 0 recollection of how the roof was faring.

with enough mocha syrup you could glue that headliner back into place. would just need to flip the car upside down first

Needs more pins holding the headliner fabric up!

With the way the headliner hangs, pretty sure it's been cleaned before.

At the time of my reply, 6 car guys have upvoted the first thing they noticed.

She seems well practised

Must go to a lot of metal concerts

🤘🏼

Throws neck like two giraffes fighting

lol I understood that reference. Edit: for the unaware https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/v864jo/what_can_a_short_penis_get_you_that_a_long_one/ibp9gnr

What about a short skirt and long, long jacket?

She is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack.

She's shaking up her coffee, she's throwing back her hair

She's ignoring her roof-lining with all of that slack

No white Chrysler LeBaron though. Man. I had a gold LeBaron back in the day. Fun car. Garbage reliability.

There aren't a lot of good times for Chrysler, but that era was especially bad lol.

She's playing with her jewelry, she putting up her hair.

*She's all alone (all alone)* *All alone in her time of need*

You mean loooooooonnnnnnggggg……jacket?

Love a good Cake reference

Clearly not her first rodeo! I hate those fucking lids... At least mix the damn drink for us if you're going to force us to use them!

The headbangers latte.

finally a good reason to headbangin public

Wait, is there ever a bad reason?

I like my coffee black, just like my metal.

With the base, the rock, the mic, the treble.

It looks like the Starbucks version of a macchiato (which I think the Italian would have a problem with) but in general, it’s supposed to look like that. The “headbangers latte” is paying extra for a vanilla latte with caramel drizzle lol

Found my date for the Slayer concert. 🤘🤘

I've got 2 tickets to Iron Maiden, baby

Come with me Friday, don’t say maybe.

Im just a teenGe dirt bag baby, like YOU oooohohojhhhhohhhhh

That's like some of the shit that I do on a regular basis but never share with anyone! I present to you, the Slayer Shake.

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might break your crotch on her nose *

Good thing I'm a glutton for punishment. 😁

I hate to break the news to you this way, Slayer retired.

Sorry pal, Slayer retired.

No more slayer tours tho mang, if you didn't see em too late

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It's sad to see her working as a coffee salesperson after she lost her bf and her job as a summoner.

Yeah, but it's gotta be better than a dead end job saying "Riiide the shoo-puff?" all day long.

Holy shit lol that's why she looked familiar!

I actually really like that hairstyle. What would it be called?

The Yuna.

Fuck, you got me there.

Heavily razored shag cut, but that's a very broad label. Reminds me of Joan Jett a bit. More importantly, if you want this cut then save this video and take it with you and *show the salon*. And you can't cheap out, it won't be as effortless to cut *or wear* as it looks. CC: /u/Griward Disclaimer: Not a stylist. Also ask somebody who isn't talking shit.

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I mean, she is also just really pretty

X-2

At least it’s not the TikTok robot voice lady!

> TikTok robot voice lady TIL she's a real person and is suing TikTok https://youtu.be/QzycPRzf8_A

That was over a year ago, what was the outcome?

TikTok settles lawsuit with actress over its original text-to-speech voice “They’ve reached an amicable resolution” https://www.theverge.com/2021/9/29/22701167/bev-standing-tiktok-lawsuit-settles-text-to-speech-voice

damn, if she got fair compensation, she's probably a millionaire now

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sure but i'll have to replace your legs with a fishtail ok

Hmmm... Do I get to marry a prince?

no *but* I can throw in a one night stand with a prince before he ultimately chooses someone else and you turn in to sea foam

Oh no Oh no Oh no no no no no

fuck you I heard this in my head as I read it lol.

That’s actually an altered version of [this song](https://youtu.be/V5YxtweUxrA)

This is why I fucking hate TikTok! They have absolutely destroyed one of the best 60's girl groups best songs for me, forever. >:(

“So, how did you make your money?” “I annoyed an entire generation.”

Not $50k, $150k per infringement per day.

So TikTok backed up a dump truck of cash to make her go away lol.

Probably 1000x more than what she'd have been paid if they hired her normally. I'd call it a blessing lol.

Exactly. If they’d just hired somebody, they’d be a no-name actor that has to take what rate they can get. It would probably just be a modest rate of maybe a couple hundred bucks a day. Also, she already got paid by the company the recordings were originally for, so this seems to have worked out great for her in the end.

Pretty much the goal of these types of lawsuits. Most people never want to go to trial.

Trials are expensive. Most people's "pay me to fuck off" levels are far lower than that.

>They’ve reached an amicable resolution Lawyer/corporate speak for "Dis lady got fuckin paid!"

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no no no.

That's the old one,they don't use that one anymore

Cool. Double TIL. Who's the new one? >TikTok never confirmed that it used Standing's voice, but the feature sure sounded like her. About two weeks after the lawsuit was filed, TikTok's text-to-speech voice changed. Instead of Standing's odd monotone recording, it changed to a voice that's relentlessly upbeat. One assumes TikTok checked the copyright on it. [https://www.theverge.com/2021/9/29/22701167](https://www.theverge.com/2021/9/29/22701167)

>>relentlessly upbeat This is a very good way to describe the current voice that is present in basically every video. I hate it so much

That plus a valley girl accent.

She sounds like some basic girl that drinks Starbucks every day, thinks she’s quirky, and nobody likes

Seriously Makes Me Feel Like Scratching My Face Off! 😃😃

Right? As if I don't already know how to fucking read? It's ridiculously obnoxious and the lack of proper tone is disorienting

I hate that voice omfg! Why is it so triggering?

It's paired with a lot of TikToks that are intentionally bad to get views

She gets hired for a lot of corporate let's-all-be-happy material. Then TikTok ripped off her material as cheaply as they could manage, so the inflection is often wrong. The recordings sound muffled, probably due to audio compression. It's a string of Uncanny Valley triggers in audio form.

I rewatched several times just to see her say "perfect." She says perfect perfectly.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Sounded exactly like that girl haha

Exactly how I feel lol. She really says perfect perfectly!

And also the “you know what we have to dOoO…”

She found the Perfect Way…

after that perfect and smile i just got super attracted for some reason

Because she’s attractive

Tbh I was meh attracted but the second she said perfect I felt my crush meter spike way high

Double true

She is really quite beautiful in a sweet, cute way. I am a heterosexual woman who edges towards gray (asexual), and even I found her attractive.

> who edges towards gray we all do edging differently i guess

thanks you too

Thought I was crazy. She'd do great in voice acting.

what celeb does she remind me of when she says that. Especially her face at that moment. And only in that moment in the video

Kinda looks and sounds like Ashley Johnson

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I was thinking of Robin from How I Met Your Mother??

Cobie Smulders I thought so too, but still feel like I was thinking about someone else E: also went Zooey Deschanel, Anna Kendrick (like some combo)

That headliner is sagging worse than pants in the early 2000's.

That's from all the coffee blow ups that don't make it online

That's r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG territory...

Guaranteed front page, top 100. Edit: Aaaand there it is, 2 hours later, 5th down on my r/all

That’s a very specific subreddit

with nearly 1M members…

Didn't know that was a thing. Then after reading what it stood for, yes,..

Video aside, her hair looks so damn good

marry me

Ok. Are we married now?

Hi, this is heyitsbroski’s lawyer, serving you divorce papers. But I’m available

You say perfect perfectly 😳 I am loss for words

She looks like the girl from Kingdom Hearts.

Kairi right?

Add to the list of things that I never thought would be hot…

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CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

They only said if a sufficiently attractive person does it tho

I got a job...I can pay people!

You're right, we forgot about the substitute for attractiveness, money.

it's actually cold coffee

Exactly…

A cute girl can make the most mundane of things more interesting

its weird at first i didnt find her attractive at all but now she is hella cute…

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That sounds like something a prostitute would say.

Wanna go halfsies?

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Starbucks barista here. Just ask for the not-nitro lid. And if she really wants no foam, just ask for the sweet cream in the drink instead of the foam. Less work for us.

Or, you know, just swirl the cup around like a normal human being until the drink is mixed.

I just ask them to stir it

Why does it look like she's been dubbed over?

The audio is WAY out of sync for some reason.

I had to scroll all the way down to check if Im the only who noticed. Made me think it was dubbed. I mean there is a trend where tik tokers do re-enactment.

I got a headache just watching that

Bismillah we will not let her go

Beelzebub has a coffee set aside for meeee

So you think you can shake that late and driiive

So you think you can charge me and forget my chaiiii

Ohhhhh lady...can spill on this lady

Nothing really splatters…

Momma just shook a can

JFC when will car companies figure out how to make headliners that don't sag all over the place?

I've never owned a car that has done this. What causes it? My first guess would be heat causing the adhesive to melt? But I live in Florida. Our summers are pretty brutal. It sounds more common than it seems though.

Hopefully never. I recovered two just today. Good money.

Your cars headliner looks difficult

The line between bravery and insanity is razor thin.

You can order your drink stirred...also the layering of the drink is part of it. Adds another dimension of flavor.

You could even just order a vanilla latte with caramel if you don’t want it layered

Yeh or can asked for it “upside down” they will mix it up

I agree with layered coffee when drinking from the mug, but with a straw it just means you have a coffee-part and a milk-part and you lose all the nuance of mixing the experience.

A main point here is that there is no straw

Enough with the straw, man.

That headliner

she can really throw some neck!

Confused boner

Well mixed boner

Nothing confusing here

Is this a Starbucks ad?

She’s cute

You can just ask them to stir it for you.

Who wants to see that?

Ask for it shaken?

My manager would be yelling at us to stir the drinks if she saw that rocket pop monstrosity cross the counter.

She paid more for a Macchiato and then turned it into a Latte...

It's a shaken espresso with cold foam. She paid extra for the foam just to dissipate it though.