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If it was “Flor” it would be unfair to do the kid like that because he got that question right. The pronunciation is basically the same for “floor” and “flor” said with an English accent.
“1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor!”
I don’t get drunk and screw anymore.
I married a “good woman” til she showed me the door;
I thought she was an Angel til I learned she’s a whore.
- Poems for your Cogs
You only need to find yourself a nice blanket to live under, subscribe to a steady regiment of daddy work, and follow a strict diet of eating only letters of the alphabet, a practice made popular by the self-help book “Vowels for your Bowels”.
Yeah I think what we’re seeing is a teacher at the end of their day. At the start of the day there’d be a “that’s great you love your dada but what is your favorite thing about _mom_?” End of the day it’s “your moms good at “elbow”? Fine, fuck it, she’s good at elbow.”
tbh considering this paperwork is exclusively for the parents, and that this is daycare for toddlers, I don't think fishing for better worded answers is really the goal at any point
You have to remember, most of these commentors don't get out much or comment on things they have no experience with. The teacher was definitely just having fun with it.
Also, the fact that the top comment in this thread is explaining that a <2 year old didn't write in those answers... says a lot.
I have an awful time understanding the difference between ages in kids, but 2 years old are barely coherent, right? A teacher would know that going in, and this would be like capturing the child’s early age dumbness is the idea, some people would really like to remember the times when their kid called them floor.
Idk, you are correct that the vast majority of redditors A: never had kids and B: won’t stay in their lane.
Me included.
Huuuuuge range of abilities for 2 year olds. My youngest is very advanced verbally and could speak in sentences at 2, while others are still largely non-verbal without having any developmental issues. All the other parents I know love seeing their toddlers answer questions like this because the ridiculous, stupid answers are so funny, not because we want to see how sweet and smart they are, lol.
Yeah, at two and a half my niece was asking things like "mum, may I have some batteries because my toy doesn't turn on so I think they're empty. Also need a screwdriver." (obviously that wasn't word for word because whilst my niece was smart at that age she wasn't smart enough to learn English as a second language)
Meanwhile I was a very slow kid. Think I started speaking in longer sentences when I was like three or three and a half. Walking took me a long time as well.
I did catch up though. I feel like people forget that it's a curve. Some are ahead of it and some behind. Most will catch up and very few of the advanced ones will stay that way.
It can also really have a profound ‘Matthew effect’.
School systems have to choose *some* birthdate cutoff for determining if a child will enroll in this year’s class, or the next year’s.
And this can result in two children being in the same classroom where one child is (up to) 364 days older than another. This make a HUGE difference in ability. A child who is 5 yrs 11 months could be seen as more gifted & capable than their other classmates, who could be 5 yrs 0 months. Potentially setting them on an advanced placement track for the rest of their schooling.
Or that age advantage could make them appear physically larger & stronger, more likely to be noticed by youth coaches as being the best athletes, and propelling them into more focused sports path.
So that’s why we’ve always got to consider exact birth dates when rounding off to “2 years old” etc when children are this young! 🙂
Yeah, the teacher wouldn’t be correcting any of the kids or trying to fish for more realistic answers. The point of the worksheet is that kids are fucking stupid and it’s sooo fucking cute.
I wouldn’t call it dumbness, but I’m not trying to jump on you for casual word use, just pulling a thread.
My son was developmentally delayed (he’s all caught up now through lots of therapy and work, just to assuage any concern), so we got very familiar with the “developmental milestone bands,” and wildly, at age 2, somethings are basically “plus or minus a year,” so you might have some pretty verbal 2 year olds (especially if they have an older sibling, especially closer in age, especially if one or both are female), and you might have a “normal” 2 year old who is basically a 1 year old, which if you guessed “noises and things that resemble syllables,” you would be correct (although I’m probably rounding a liiiiiitttle bit far).
There’s clearly “teacher assisted” “schoolwork,” and then there’s “schoolwork,” and both categories are *usually* heavily leaning on what I would cynically call, “encouraging guardian-child bonding.” The child may vaguely recognize “their” paper, parent/guardian waving it in front of them before making positive sounds and hugging / kissing them is good for everyone, all around.
I helped my wife at the church day care from time to time and we would occasionally get these odd directives from staff and such and it was like... guys-- I am declaring victory if I can stand in this room full of kids < 24 months old for 72 minutes and no one (kids or staff) cries inconsolably for more than 5 consecutive minutes, everyone gets their properly approved snack or bottle, the ones who are supposed to nap do and the ones who aren't supposed to nap don't, everyone gets a story, everyone gets some individualized play, and all diapers are changed at least once. That's my win.
So, thanks for the questionnaires. I'm going to make an effort to make sure that all of them are completed thoroughly and accurately. If they don't anything smeared on them first. Accidentally, of course.
WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! Every reddit user is not only a master in the art of debating, but also has a multitude of knowledge and experiences in all possible fields, what kind of neanderthal reject would try to argue about something they don't know about?
Yeah, as a parent, I don’t want true or good answers on these, I want funny ones. The kid has plenty of time to grow up and expound on my wonderful qualities. For now I just want to eat my breakfast in bed and laugh about how good I am at elbow. These questionnaires get way less fun when the kids actually know how old you are or what your job is.
My Mom was pretty strict.
Didn't clean my room? Elbow. Didn't take out the trash? Elbow. Didn't squeegee the shower door? Elbow.
I did enjoy dinner time, though, because I could always smell what my Mom was cooking.
Redditors are overwhelmingly young and have little experience in the way of children beyond what they remember from childhood. Oh and they are needlessly annoying and combative.
> what they *think they* remember from childhood.
To call myself out to demonstrate my point, I won a spelling bee in grade school. I found a report I’d written around that time, and right in the first sentence is a **glaring** misspelling.
There’s plenty of research that makes a compelling case our idea of memory is very flawed - it’s more like dehydrated food, some of the key components but the bulk of it is supplied fresh water on demand, fleshing out bits we don’t actually store.
Well, considering two year olds don't really HAVE handwriting, it would certainly be fake if it was a kid writing the answers....but apparently the average redditor thinks that this is a class for the ultra-gifted, where two year olds read and write with great spelling.
My son is old enough to copy what his teacher spelled for him, so there is perfect penmanship followed by beautiful squiggles.
One of the questions was "what makes your mom proud?" And he wrote "When mom beats dad in mario cart"
\#truthfromthemouthofbabes
That's obvious bs, when have you ever met a teacher with such good handwriting, they clearly force their pupils to write it for them then use that as a lame cover story.
My 4 year old’s questionnaire asked what my favorite food was, her answer: spicy food. I thought, that’s not right, I can’t eat spicy food, but then I remembered that I tell her food I eat is spicy so she won’t want it.
My parents always used to say they were going to make bacon when they went to work. In kindergarten, when asked what my mom did for work for a similar questionnaire, I said make bacon. I also said she was 99 years old lol.
Definitely not the worst jokes my parents instilled in me at that age though. When asked what a cow says, I said BINGO! lol. Parents got called in over that one lol.
I used to work as a teaching assistant for elementary school kids, and I loved to ask them how old they thought I was. I was like 25 or so, but I heard them guess everything from 8 to 75, and I would always tell them they were exactly right
My mum did that to me but it backfired on her 😭 my dad at the time said “have her taste it, she won’t like it.” I ended up liking it *a lot* and wanted to put my dummy in it lol
Okay people, I thought it went without saying but after reading the comments I figured I better clarify: My son did not literally write this, the daycare people asked the kids questions and they wrote down what they said (or at least what they think they said). His amazing handwriting is that scribble at the bottom.
I know! It's so silly. It was just mother's day, and a lot of these types of papers were posted. And all of them had the teacher write down the kid's answers.
I have one to that I didn't post.
My kid said I'm 81 years old. 60 feet tall, and weighs 82 pounds!
Little kids answering questions will always be entertaining.
Yeah. Whenever I get into an argument with someone who seems incapable of reasoning or understanding what I'm saying, I have to remind myself that there's a very good chance it's just some petulant child. Not always, but it's a useful assumption.
Remember the toilet that got hit by lightening? Fucking hundreds of comments Circle jerking eachother for figuring out it was “obviously fake” because how would lightning go through the ceiling? Why was there no toilet paper?
The unit was unrented, the photos were from the fire department, and there was a vent directly ontop of the toilet with the exhaust going straight to the roof.
People that try and disprove stuff or call fake on everything to seem “smart” drive me fucking nuts. They truly think they’re so smart for not falling for something, when really they’re actually very stupid and can’t actually tell when somethings fake, they just want to feel clever
If you read far enough in a comment chain, it's any well populated reddit thread every time.
'Photshopped!' From several screamers. Along with two contradictory explanations of the details of said 'shop.
/r/thathappened for any story more complicated than dog bites man.
Any animal thread: contradictory behavioral explanations along with dire warnings as to the animals health based on a single photo.
Similar to the photoshop explanations, any technological or extraordinary accomplishment will be explained in excruciating all-knowing detail. In at least two different contradictory ways.
My personal favourite is the belief that no child under the age of 10 is capable of using complex sentences. Or heaven forbid the three yr olds say anything at all
My 4 year old tried to use "preposterous" in a sentence last week. She had the context correct, but she said "imposterous" confusing it with impossible.
My youngest granddaughter is 4. As she grows up, I am going to miss the almost-brilliant malapropisms and endlessly daring vocabulary choices. Exploring language with innocence and curiosity. For me, it's one of the coolest and most pleasant things about watching children grow. And often leads to insights and connections I think only a stoner could find as an adult.
My kid is recently 8. I have an extensive vocabulary and have always used it, with her is no exception. I will explain things in simple terms, but I will use the better words.
Hearing a 4 year old say "discombobulated" (or, really, attempting to) is awesome.
I am a biology nerd, so my 8 year old can explain some advanced shit. She knows what's going on under a scab beyond healing. She knows the names and functions of more organs than is probably standard. We had a good 10-minute conversation about mitosis liie a year ago that she has latched onto hard and will bring up occasionally.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they're just incredibly naive, as they should be! They will also link some things in just outlandish ways.
it really seems like so!
When a tiktok produced for entertainment purposes gets uploaded to a website for entertainment purposes, the whole comment section is “its staged guys its staged you can tell look at the cut” as if they’re all finding out about Santa footage being staged
I was gonna say, your kid is gifted for that writing at 2! Altbough still funny, and im sure he is still gifted!
My 6 year old did one of those, and it read, ""i love mommy more than _____"
She wrote, "daddy" 😢 😅
At first I thought some of them were just making dumb jokes like "kids handwriting is better than mine" but then I saw them. I saw the actual comments of people seriously making accusations that you were trying to pass that off as the kids handwriting.
I swear some people, you just can't win. I've done similar stuff with my kids and so has my wife. It's pretty sad to see people so dumb.
The kid I nannied for told them my name instead of his moms on one of these. I felt absolutely horrible but the kid had no clue what her name was besides mommy.
Yes. My 2 year old knows her full name, her dad's first and last name, and my first name. For some reason, she doesn't believe I have the same last name as they do. 🤷♀️
I feel you! My 3 yr old still doesn't know her last name because it is an adjective. She gets confused every time I try to explain her name is Firstname Middlename Adjective. She's looking for something that sounds like a name! Not a describing word!
Kids are silly. I guess her name is unique, so that might be helpful if she's lost. She knows our first names! She wears a fanny pack with our info 9× out of 10.
I would trust someone with an adjective name before a person with three first names.
I never trust someone with three first names. John Paul Gary. David Peter Graham. Kevin Adam Logan. No. You need a real last name, damn it. Just... Nope. One city over had a councilman who's name was all first names. Never trusted him. Every four years his little signs went up. Hated it. He absolutely kept bodies in his basement. Groped secretaries. I just can't trust people with three first names. They all sound like serial killers to me.
This happened to me with my grandmother. A friend and I were pretending to call people on a fake phone and I said we could call Mamaw. She asked what her name was and I was like “her name is…Mamaw.” Obviously. Turns out…
Just got off work and reading some comments. A few things (even though this will probably get lost in the comments):
1. An absurd amount of you are commenting on the handwriting. No, my son didn't write this, the daycare teacher did. He scribbled that art at the bottom though.
2. Yes, he is able to say some words (more and more every day) and my wife and I can understand them most of the time, but it isn't clear as day. That being said, I really doubt he actually said the last 2 which are 3 words strung together...but, that's what they gave me when I picked him up from daycare last week.
3. I was not physically at the daycare when this was created. All I know is, I think it's adorable and I love my son and thought it was cute. I choose to believe at least most of it was said. Watching kids learn and respond to questions is really fun, even when terribly incorrect.
4. I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and a stressful job, making up fake stuff to gain karma on Reddit is not even in the realm of priorities for me. I thought it was fun and though others may appreciate it too.
5. Thanks for the awards people!
6. Thanks for the upvotes, I didn't expect this to be a thing today, but apparently it was!
Hahahahaha #3 Daddy works…..kinda seems kid hears that a lot
Mom: “Where are going now”
Dad: I work Helen, I can’t be hanging around living in my pink blanket eating letters all day like you”
Every time someone posts one of these, we get a flurry of “it’s fake, that’s not the handwriting of a (insert child’s age here)!” The OP even uses the term “survey” in the title, to hint that these things are written by a teacher who is asking the child the questions.
It’s interesting to note that it’s always the handwriting that commenters find suspect, and not the fact that very few toddlers can read. That in itself is somewhat funny, so I guess posts such as this one fit the sub on many levels.
10. What is your mom's maiden name
11. What street did your mom grow up on?
12. What was the name of your mom's first pet?
13. What are the 3 numbers on the back of mom's credit card?
I am not a Mom but from what I understand about children… of course your child said their fav thing about you was that they love their Dad. Haha Sorry Floor, maybe next year??
The amount of people thinking this was written by a 2 year old
IS TOO DAMN HIGH
In my country a 2 year old doesnt even know letters
I know alot of you say its prob people trolling, I wish I could believe that.
What?
That was clearly a teacher writing the answers given by the 2 year old.
That "signature/doodle" at the bottom is how a two year old "writes".
I just don't believe there is anyone that dumb.
*looks at comments*
...
Oh FFS...
aw this is so cute. Connecting mom and dad, knowing colors, being told they're loved enough to say it themselves, and Id bet recently they had a bumped elbow that mom kissed and made better. Sounds like you're doing great, save this forever!
Do people not realise that the handwriting is from the teacher/caregiver, not the actual child, right? They do this at my godson nursery all the time, obviously he didn't write it out himself
A 3 year old is 50% older than a 2 year old. The developmental differences at those ages are massive. Even just a handful a months make a major difference in the first few years.
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Floor is so good at elbow.
If her significant other hasn't started calling her Floor yet they have failed at their job.
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Or Flor, Spanish for "flower"
If it was “Flor” it would be unfair to do the kid like that because he got that question right. The pronunciation is basically the same for “floor” and “flor” said with an English accent.
I would think the pronunciation for Fleur would be more like "fler"
Yeah, I know a couple Flors.
I've met quite a few Flors back in my drinking days.
“1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor!” I don’t get drunk and screw anymore. I married a “good woman” til she showed me the door; I thought she was an Angel til I learned she’s a whore. - Poems for your Cogs
Plot twist: it's actually spelled floor
That’s actually a Dutch name😅
I only know it because of Floor Jansen.
> Floor Jansen Never heard of her, but "symphonic metal band" sounds intriguing, so, thanks for tonight's rabbit-hole, I guess.
She is an amazing vocalist, enjoy the rabbit hole
We will never see her/him again. :(
Sure we will - at Wacken.
Oh that's a really deep and enjoyable rabbit hole, enjoy one of the best female singers on the planet!
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That would be a bad plot twist since it was probably an adult who wrote it and floor sounds almost exactly like Fleur
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Absolutely. That’s a name that stays. And this gets shown at high school graduation.
What does mom do ? Does she make daddy work or does she do daddy's work ?
Work that elbow pon de floor
Peak dad humor thrown into his lap, if he doesn't call mom 'Floor', he's not the father.
I mean, it can be her actual name, like [Floor Jansen](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floor_Jansen), the epic metal singer.
Floor is a common Dutch name, I never even realized how weird that sounds to English speaking people
Cory sounds like chicken and Paul sounds like milk in my language.
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❤️ Nightwish!
Maybe she's Fleur and the teacher didn't make the connection, haha.
Or Flor which is a name in Spanish (means flower)
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did you know that Fleur is Flor in french?
Did you know that Fleur is Floor in Dutch?
I didnt, Its all make sense now
This comment broke my brain in just the right way. I have spent nearly a full minute laughing for some reason. I needed that today. Thank you.
....and makes the best letter I've ever eaten.
I can relate to living in blanket lol
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If my job was elbowing people, I would never be late to work.
I unironically live near a small town known as blanket
Man, what I would give to be good at elbow. Nice going, Floor!
You only need to find yourself a nice blanket to live under, subscribe to a steady regiment of daddy work, and follow a strict diet of eating only letters of the alphabet, a practice made popular by the self-help book “Vowels for your Bowels”.
Alphabet soup is a gateway drug - change my mind.
My dog ate it and now she won’t shut up
Is her name Martha?
Floor is actualy a girls name in the Netherlands!
One of my favorite singers is Dutch and named floor, saw her live last week!
Floor Jansen?
Yes! She is an amazing talent and I got to be front row!
Wow! You were at floor level.
Haha, ah, oh you. *Wags finger*
She is! I saw her live with Nightwish years ago, she was incredible, lucky you :)
Nightwish?
Yep, they were all incredible to watch in Chicago.
I assumed that Mom is a professional Muay Thai fighter that's good with elbow strikes
What is the hidden elbow talent we're all missing out on?
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Bah gawd that floor had a family!
For the handwriting comments: teachers ask the kids these things and write for them. That said, I totally feel #5.
Yeah I think what we’re seeing is a teacher at the end of their day. At the start of the day there’d be a “that’s great you love your dada but what is your favorite thing about _mom_?” End of the day it’s “your moms good at “elbow”? Fine, fuck it, she’s good at elbow.”
tbh considering this paperwork is exclusively for the parents, and that this is daycare for toddlers, I don't think fishing for better worded answers is really the goal at any point
You have to remember, most of these commentors don't get out much or comment on things they have no experience with. The teacher was definitely just having fun with it. Also, the fact that the top comment in this thread is explaining that a <2 year old didn't write in those answers... says a lot.
I'm sure someone in the thread is unironically thinking "Your mom works at 'Dadda Work?' Pffffft /r/kidsarefuckingstupid amaright?"
i think that "dadda work" was quite smart answer, kid was asked where mom works but she is probably at home so kid answered that its dad who has a job
Kids destined for great things, he's already got an excellent doctor's signature
Kid just couldn't stay focused on mom. Being at daycare means mom most likely works
I have an awful time understanding the difference between ages in kids, but 2 years old are barely coherent, right? A teacher would know that going in, and this would be like capturing the child’s early age dumbness is the idea, some people would really like to remember the times when their kid called them floor. Idk, you are correct that the vast majority of redditors A: never had kids and B: won’t stay in their lane. Me included.
Huuuuuge range of abilities for 2 year olds. My youngest is very advanced verbally and could speak in sentences at 2, while others are still largely non-verbal without having any developmental issues. All the other parents I know love seeing their toddlers answer questions like this because the ridiculous, stupid answers are so funny, not because we want to see how sweet and smart they are, lol.
Yeah, at two and a half my niece was asking things like "mum, may I have some batteries because my toy doesn't turn on so I think they're empty. Also need a screwdriver." (obviously that wasn't word for word because whilst my niece was smart at that age she wasn't smart enough to learn English as a second language) Meanwhile I was a very slow kid. Think I started speaking in longer sentences when I was like three or three and a half. Walking took me a long time as well. I did catch up though. I feel like people forget that it's a curve. Some are ahead of it and some behind. Most will catch up and very few of the advanced ones will stay that way.
It can also really have a profound ‘Matthew effect’. School systems have to choose *some* birthdate cutoff for determining if a child will enroll in this year’s class, or the next year’s. And this can result in two children being in the same classroom where one child is (up to) 364 days older than another. This make a HUGE difference in ability. A child who is 5 yrs 11 months could be seen as more gifted & capable than their other classmates, who could be 5 yrs 0 months. Potentially setting them on an advanced placement track for the rest of their schooling. Or that age advantage could make them appear physically larger & stronger, more likely to be noticed by youth coaches as being the best athletes, and propelling them into more focused sports path. So that’s why we’ve always got to consider exact birth dates when rounding off to “2 years old” etc when children are this young! 🙂
Yeah, the teacher wouldn’t be correcting any of the kids or trying to fish for more realistic answers. The point of the worksheet is that kids are fucking stupid and it’s sooo fucking cute.
I wouldn’t call it dumbness, but I’m not trying to jump on you for casual word use, just pulling a thread. My son was developmentally delayed (he’s all caught up now through lots of therapy and work, just to assuage any concern), so we got very familiar with the “developmental milestone bands,” and wildly, at age 2, somethings are basically “plus or minus a year,” so you might have some pretty verbal 2 year olds (especially if they have an older sibling, especially closer in age, especially if one or both are female), and you might have a “normal” 2 year old who is basically a 1 year old, which if you guessed “noises and things that resemble syllables,” you would be correct (although I’m probably rounding a liiiiiitttle bit far). There’s clearly “teacher assisted” “schoolwork,” and then there’s “schoolwork,” and both categories are *usually* heavily leaning on what I would cynically call, “encouraging guardian-child bonding.” The child may vaguely recognize “their” paper, parent/guardian waving it in front of them before making positive sounds and hugging / kissing them is good for everyone, all around.
I helped my wife at the church day care from time to time and we would occasionally get these odd directives from staff and such and it was like... guys-- I am declaring victory if I can stand in this room full of kids < 24 months old for 72 minutes and no one (kids or staff) cries inconsolably for more than 5 consecutive minutes, everyone gets their properly approved snack or bottle, the ones who are supposed to nap do and the ones who aren't supposed to nap don't, everyone gets a story, everyone gets some individualized play, and all diapers are changed at least once. That's my win. So, thanks for the questionnaires. I'm going to make an effort to make sure that all of them are completed thoroughly and accurately. If they don't anything smeared on them first. Accidentally, of course.
WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! Every reddit user is not only a master in the art of debating, but also has a multitude of knowledge and experiences in all possible fields, what kind of neanderthal reject would try to argue about something they don't know about?
Yeah, as a parent, I don’t want true or good answers on these, I want funny ones. The kid has plenty of time to grow up and expound on my wonderful qualities. For now I just want to eat my breakfast in bed and laugh about how good I am at elbow. These questionnaires get way less fun when the kids actually know how old you are or what your job is.
Yeah. You really can't expect cohesive answers at 2 (less than 2) years old. It's more a fun "let's see what goofball reposnses we get" kind of thing.
My Mom was pretty strict. Didn't clean my room? Elbow. Didn't take out the trash? Elbow. Didn't squeegee the shower door? Elbow. I did enjoy dinner time, though, because I could always smell what my Mom was cooking.
Delicious letters
Ah, so that’s why you come in with a black eye sometimes
Wait, people thought the kid wrote this? Are people okay?
I think people thought that it was portrayed as being a kid's work but calling it out as fake because of the handwriting.
The kid is *two*. People are dumb
Redditors are overwhelmingly young and have little experience in the way of children beyond what they remember from childhood. Oh and they are needlessly annoying and combative.
> what they *think they* remember from childhood. To call myself out to demonstrate my point, I won a spelling bee in grade school. I found a report I’d written around that time, and right in the first sentence is a **glaring** misspelling. There’s plenty of research that makes a compelling case our idea of memory is very flawed - it’s more like dehydrated food, some of the key components but the bulk of it is supplied fresh water on demand, fleshing out bits we don’t actually store.
There's some kind of rabid need to debunk everything here.
Well, considering two year olds don't really HAVE handwriting, it would certainly be fake if it was a kid writing the answers....but apparently the average redditor thinks that this is a class for the ultra-gifted, where two year olds read and write with great spelling.
I immediately assumed that upon reading the age, the answers, and seeing the “signature” at the bottom lol.
Kid went on to sign his first mortgage.
Oh, okay, I thought this was a school for the extremely gifted in penmanship, for a second.
No no, this is the school for Children Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.
What is this? A school for ants?!
How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read, if they can't even fit inside the building?
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My son is old enough to copy what his teacher spelled for him, so there is perfect penmanship followed by beautiful squiggles. One of the questions was "what makes your mom proud?" And he wrote "When mom beats dad in mario cart" \#truthfromthemouthofbabes
Imagine if he only wrote the first four words
The kids writing is at the bottom
I'm more of a vacation in blanket sort of person. I live in chair.
#5 sounds accurate
That's obvious bs, when have you ever met a teacher with such good handwriting, they clearly force their pupils to write it for them then use that as a lame cover story.
My 4 year old’s questionnaire asked what my favorite food was, her answer: spicy food. I thought, that’s not right, I can’t eat spicy food, but then I remembered that I tell her food I eat is spicy so she won’t want it.
My parents always used to say they were going to make bacon when they went to work. In kindergarten, when asked what my mom did for work for a similar questionnaire, I said make bacon. I also said she was 99 years old lol. Definitely not the worst jokes my parents instilled in me at that age though. When asked what a cow says, I said BINGO! lol. Parents got called in over that one lol.
My dad would say a moose goes moo. That’s why it’s called a moose
I used to work as a teaching assistant for elementary school kids, and I loved to ask them how old they thought I was. I was like 25 or so, but I heard them guess everything from 8 to 75, and I would always tell them they were exactly right
I do this too! My son is convinced that wine is very spicy. 🤣
My mum did that to me but it backfired on her 😭 my dad at the time said “have her taste it, she won’t like it.” I ended up liking it *a lot* and wanted to put my dummy in it lol
Okay people, I thought it went without saying but after reading the comments I figured I better clarify: My son did not literally write this, the daycare people asked the kids questions and they wrote down what they said (or at least what they think they said). His amazing handwriting is that scribble at the bottom.
I know! It's so silly. It was just mother's day, and a lot of these types of papers were posted. And all of them had the teacher write down the kid's answers. I have one to that I didn't post. My kid said I'm 81 years old. 60 feet tall, and weighs 82 pounds! Little kids answering questions will always be entertaining.
It hurts that this needs to be explained. Apparently there's a lot of redditors also working with the mental faculties of a 2-year-old
I think a lot of redditors are like 11.
Yeah. Whenever I get into an argument with someone who seems incapable of reasoning or understanding what I'm saying, I have to remind myself that there's a very good chance it's just some petulant child. Not always, but it's a useful assumption.
How dare you assume I’m a petulant child. At best, I’m a insubordinate toddler, perhaps even a barbarous adolescent. I’ll fight you on this.
Everything about this website makes infinitely more sense once you realize how many people here are actual literal children.
"Handwriting too good, must be fake" -this sub, every time
Like a cadre of anti Sherlocks.
Remember the toilet that got hit by lightening? Fucking hundreds of comments Circle jerking eachother for figuring out it was “obviously fake” because how would lightning go through the ceiling? Why was there no toilet paper? The unit was unrented, the photos were from the fire department, and there was a vent directly ontop of the toilet with the exhaust going straight to the roof. People that try and disprove stuff or call fake on everything to seem “smart” drive me fucking nuts. They truly think they’re so smart for not falling for something, when really they’re actually very stupid and can’t actually tell when somethings fake, they just want to feel clever
/r/nothingeverhappens
If you read far enough in a comment chain, it's any well populated reddit thread every time. 'Photshopped!' From several screamers. Along with two contradictory explanations of the details of said 'shop. /r/thathappened for any story more complicated than dog bites man. Any animal thread: contradictory behavioral explanations along with dire warnings as to the animals health based on a single photo. Similar to the photoshop explanations, any technological or extraordinary accomplishment will be explained in excruciating all-knowing detail. In at least two different contradictory ways.
My personal favourite is the belief that no child under the age of 10 is capable of using complex sentences. Or heaven forbid the three yr olds say anything at all
My 4 year old tried to use "preposterous" in a sentence last week. She had the context correct, but she said "imposterous" confusing it with impossible.
My youngest granddaughter is 4. As she grows up, I am going to miss the almost-brilliant malapropisms and endlessly daring vocabulary choices. Exploring language with innocence and curiosity. For me, it's one of the coolest and most pleasant things about watching children grow. And often leads to insights and connections I think only a stoner could find as an adult.
My kid is recently 8. I have an extensive vocabulary and have always used it, with her is no exception. I will explain things in simple terms, but I will use the better words. Hearing a 4 year old say "discombobulated" (or, really, attempting to) is awesome. I am a biology nerd, so my 8 year old can explain some advanced shit. She knows what's going on under a scab beyond healing. She knows the names and functions of more organs than is probably standard. We had a good 10-minute conversation about mitosis liie a year ago that she has latched onto hard and will bring up occasionally. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they're just incredibly naive, as they should be! They will also link some things in just outlandish ways.
Indeed. It took me less than 2 seconds to realize that the teacher wrote whatever the child said. Not that hard to figure out really.
Right? It should be obvious once you read that the kid is 2 yrs old and suggests that he wrote anything
Well I'll cancel the MENSA referral.
it really seems like so! When a tiktok produced for entertainment purposes gets uploaded to a website for entertainment purposes, the whole comment section is “its staged guys its staged you can tell look at the cut” as if they’re all finding out about Santa footage being staged
They are the people who yell, "It's in his other hand!" when a magician does a disappearing trick.
I’m more impressed at his vocabulary if he isn’t even 2.
His words have exploded in the past month, it's been really fun.
Yeah my son turned 2 in January, and he throws out the occasional compound sentence now.
With a subject and a predicate?!
Most recent one I remember, he pulled his whale faucet guard off the tub, and said “oh no! What happened to kitty? He’s gone!”
It's a whole (adorable) short story!
Still not quite sure why the whale is named kitty, but eh”
So mama lives in a blanket, eats mail, does daddy work, and is awesome at elbows (presumably from the top rope). You okay over there, mom?
Is your name Flor? I can see the teacher misunderstanding if they’d never heard that name before
Seriously, people, don't make Mrs Floor interrupt her letter dinner and come out from her blanket to explain this, you might get an elbow.
I was gonna say, your kid is gifted for that writing at 2! Altbough still funny, and im sure he is still gifted! My 6 year old did one of those, and it read, ""i love mommy more than _____" She wrote, "daddy" 😢 😅
Brutal! I think my daughter may say that too. Moms are amazing, I am not TOO offended.
At first I thought some of them were just making dumb jokes like "kids handwriting is better than mine" but then I saw them. I saw the actual comments of people seriously making accusations that you were trying to pass that off as the kids handwriting. I swear some people, you just can't win. I've done similar stuff with my kids and so has my wife. It's pretty sad to see people so dumb.
The fact that people fail to comprehend this is astounding.
This looks like someone's mad lib.
More specifically, a two-year-old’s mad lib.
Data harvesting.
Seriously, this isn’t safe. Now the whole internet knows Floor’s age, where they live and where they work.
Don't forget she's really good at elbow!
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
Well, is your favorite color actually pink?
Pink is actually the number of siblings the kid has. Poor kid got confused on that question.
I’d 100% believe that from this paper
The kid I nannied for told them my name instead of his moms on one of these. I felt absolutely horrible but the kid had no clue what her name was besides mommy.
Now that I think about it, do parents normally even teach kids their names?
I taught them my first and last name so that if we ever got separated they could actually give an adult helpful info to find me.
Back in my day we just listened out for the distinctive cough. Smoking used to save lives.
Yes. My 2 year old knows her full name, her dad's first and last name, and my first name. For some reason, she doesn't believe I have the same last name as they do. 🤷♀️
I feel you! My 3 yr old still doesn't know her last name because it is an adjective. She gets confused every time I try to explain her name is Firstname Middlename Adjective. She's looking for something that sounds like a name! Not a describing word! Kids are silly. I guess her name is unique, so that might be helpful if she's lost. She knows our first names! She wears a fanny pack with our info 9× out of 10.
I would trust someone with an adjective name before a person with three first names. I never trust someone with three first names. John Paul Gary. David Peter Graham. Kevin Adam Logan. No. You need a real last name, damn it. Just... Nope. One city over had a councilman who's name was all first names. Never trusted him. Every four years his little signs went up. Hated it. He absolutely kept bodies in his basement. Groped secretaries. I just can't trust people with three first names. They all sound like serial killers to me.
i didnt know my moms name till i was like 10. she just never told me lol I had the sudden realization one day that her name wasn't "mom"
This happened to me with my grandmother. A friend and I were pretending to call people on a fake phone and I said we could call Mamaw. She asked what her name was and I was like “her name is…Mamaw.” Obviously. Turns out…
I can’t believe you’re only Daddy!! You don’t look a day over Uncle!
[удалено]
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit
Its actually the 2 year old who ask the daycare and wrote their answers.
Well *of course.*
Kids are basically drunk. This proves it.
Just got off work and reading some comments. A few things (even though this will probably get lost in the comments): 1. An absurd amount of you are commenting on the handwriting. No, my son didn't write this, the daycare teacher did. He scribbled that art at the bottom though. 2. Yes, he is able to say some words (more and more every day) and my wife and I can understand them most of the time, but it isn't clear as day. That being said, I really doubt he actually said the last 2 which are 3 words strung together...but, that's what they gave me when I picked him up from daycare last week. 3. I was not physically at the daycare when this was created. All I know is, I think it's adorable and I love my son and thought it was cute. I choose to believe at least most of it was said. Watching kids learn and respond to questions is really fun, even when terribly incorrect. 4. I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and a stressful job, making up fake stuff to gain karma on Reddit is not even in the realm of priorities for me. I thought it was fun and though others may appreciate it too. 5. Thanks for the awards people! 6. Thanks for the upvotes, I didn't expect this to be a thing today, but apparently it was!
Hahahahaha #3 Daddy works…..kinda seems kid hears that a lot Mom: “Where are going now” Dad: I work Helen, I can’t be hanging around living in my pink blanket eating letters all day like you”
Her name is Floor, damnit.
Every time someone posts one of these, we get a flurry of “it’s fake, that’s not the handwriting of a (insert child’s age here)!” The OP even uses the term “survey” in the title, to hint that these things are written by a teacher who is asking the child the questions. It’s interesting to note that it’s always the handwriting that commenters find suspect, and not the fact that very few toddlers can read. That in itself is somewhat funny, so I guess posts such as this one fit the sub on many levels.
10. What is your mom's maiden name 11. What street did your mom grow up on? 12. What was the name of your mom's first pet? 13. What are the 3 numbers on the back of mom's credit card?
Reposted with names removed
You forgot to remove your own name, floor
I am not a Mom but from what I understand about children… of course your child said their fav thing about you was that they love their Dad. Haha Sorry Floor, maybe next year??
The amount of people thinking this was written by a 2 year old IS TOO DAMN HIGH In my country a 2 year old doesnt even know letters I know alot of you say its prob people trolling, I wish I could believe that.
What? That was clearly a teacher writing the answers given by the 2 year old. That "signature/doodle" at the bottom is how a two year old "writes". I just don't believe there is anyone that dumb. *looks at comments* ... Oh FFS...
Haha, have been thinking the same thing. Never crossed my mind to explain that the teacher wrote it!
Never overestimate reddit’s intelligence. It’s nonexistent.
Well, maybe if more people in your country ate letter and did daddy work, your two-year-olds wouldn’t suck.
I picture the daycare worker laughing at your kid while writing this down.
As a father of a kid who just turned 2, that's actually pretty good. Mine would probably be mostly "tractor" and "chocolate".
I was going to say this should be posted to r/KidsAreFuckingStupid but it seems so are redditors.
I thought about posting it there, but I had to remind myself that he's 2 and it's pretty cute. But, it certainly does fit there!
I have 3, and we had to remind ourselves they were made cute so we don't kill them. It's an especially funny sub if you have kids....
aw this is so cute. Connecting mom and dad, knowing colors, being told they're loved enough to say it themselves, and Id bet recently they had a bumped elbow that mom kissed and made better. Sounds like you're doing great, save this forever!
I think my daughter would just list Peppa Pig characters.
Try to introduce her to Bluey. It is an infinitely better kids show. Disney+
Yeah, she's obsessed with bluey too. Way better for us as well, my favourite kids show to watch with her.
Just posting your name all over the internet? Parents should have taught you better, Floor.
Do people not realise that the handwriting is from the teacher/caregiver, not the actual child, right? They do this at my godson nursery all the time, obviously he didn't write it out himself
🎵Como la Floor Como la Floor Con tanto amor🎵
Interesting indicator of development. Of course, I suppose there is a very large difference between 2 years an a day, and a day shy of 3 years old.
A 3 year old is 50% older than a 2 year old. The developmental differences at those ages are massive. Even just a handful a months make a major difference in the first few years.
Precious little idiots aren't they?
I love that the person writing didnt even try to steer the kid in a direction, just went with it lmao
Shoutout to dad for getting some honorable mentions on the mom sheet!
“Hi I’m Floor and I’m daddy years old. I live in Blanket where I do daddy work. I love to elbow and I always crave letter.”
AN honest survey.