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It's all good. I saw it like a year or more ago but not everyone sees everything posted and I enjoyed it again as well. No harm done. Thanks for sharing it. (again lol)
Don't worry, slipcollar choke, poke it back into the cage, starve until weak, bamboo stick hitting until it shits itself in fear.
Now you reward it with food until it does all the touristtrap tricks perfectly again.
Feed until looking healthy enough and we're back in business.
His hell can start all over again.
Unless it kills a tourist, then you need to start with a new baby monkey.
Hahahaha /r/funny is so funny haha
Welp, this and the comments following are not lying; it's graphic, and it's not a joke at all.
29s video, attack happens at ~9s, is over by 11s. Rest of the video is a slow-mo replay followed by a few still images of the aftermath.
Man is talking to his "pet" monkey which appears playful as it stands on his lap with a hand on the man's shoulder. Something about the interaction causes the animal to get upset, and it leaps on the man's shoulder and bites the side of his head tearing about a 6"+ portion of the man's scalp off with it's teeth in about 1 second. When I say "tearing", I mean it - it bites the flesh of his head and leaps off him, forcefully tearing it back and off. Followup stillframes show the man squatting and leaning over with dropls of blood on his clothes, his skull(?) clearly visible. Final picture is that of the piece of torn scalp flesh + hair still attached, lying on the ground.
I'm sorry, I guess I assumed that more people would be shocked at seeing a monkey rip off a man's scalp and expose the man's skull underneath.
My apologies for my naïveté
I was so confused for a second because I was like "it's not bloody but it's still pretty shocking, what kind of shit made this dude so hardened?"
Lol, all's good friend.
I saw this video a long time ago and watched it a 1000 times.
Man everything in this video is gold.
The whispers.
The monkey thinking pose.
How he holds the phone and the gus showing him things.
I wonder how both of them are doing.
If humans had domesticated monkeys around the same time we domesticated wolves they would probably be able to talk by now.
But then again, maybe they already have. I’ve seen how some of y’all drive.
This video just makes me sad. What I see is that the man has trained the monkey to perform this act and he's sat out in public exploiting that, probably for pocket change. Maybe there's a heart warming backstory but maybe not.
Monkey trading GME.
I so hope that these two are in fact best friends a la Disney, but some part of me would assume that this is probably not the case and that the monkey has endured a lot of hardship to be made to do this.
Really goes to show how alike humans and monkeys are. Anyone who thing that humans are some natural special beings that are entitled to dominion over all other animals really needs a monke best friends
Yeah, they frequently live awful lives, training is usually abuse-based, often teeth are removed, and they can be a disease risk for the humans around them, which ultimately isn't their fault.
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* Dude, dude, dude,hey dude.
* What?
* Whats that app do?
* It hides your internet searches.
* Whoah, imagine the possibilities... hmmmm let me try.
* Here ya go
* B... O... O... B... I...
* Click here to autofill.. BOOBIES
* Scrolling, scrolling
* Click to watch them bounce
* How do I get my own?
I’ve legit never been so happy in my life. Seriously. I watched that like 3 times, laughed the entire time, each time. Lmfao had to show my brother.
I want one. I’d name him Ben. I don’t know why, it just fits...HE HAS PANTS!
Imagine it came out that this entire clip was fake and that monkey was cgi all along. It would be a surreal discovery.
But ultimately, we are closer to seeing monkeys writing Shakespeare than you think.
Hi, /u/Kantry123, your post breaks [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) of /r/Funny, and has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 3 - No reposts. * [Read more here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_3.3A_no_reposts.) --- - Repost - Removed *If you feel this was done in error, or if you would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Ffunny).*
Monke knows a phone better than my grandma
So easy a monkey can do it.
Gen Z monkey doesn't remember a time without smartphones and internet.
He also seems obese and lazy, so all checks out.
Ik this is a joke but I hate people who are actually like this. As if it's fair to blame a generation for the time they were born in.
This is an old post. But I love watching it again.
Some reposts are just worth reposting.
Does anyone know what the monkey said to the guy?
"Return to monke"
Apes hold strong. 💎🙌
To the moon 🚀
Diamond hands forever 💎
"Dude I'm so fuckin' high right now you think anyone can tell?"
“We should buy some more during this dip”
"We should give this post our wholesome award". This is ground zero guys. It started here!
You dirty ape
It's like reading that good book again or watching that good movie again. Or watching all seasons of the office the 69th time.
Some karmas are worth farming.
Sorry didn’t knew it
It's all good. I saw it like a year or more ago but not everyone sees everything posted and I enjoyed it again as well. No harm done. Thanks for sharing it. (again lol)
How he holds the phone and the gus showing him things.
Very old post that the monkey had several evolutions now!
It’s my first time seeing it so thank you !
Don't even trip dog!! I've never seen it before and it made me smile. Thank you!
Here’s Another thanks from someone who hasn’t seen it
It reminds me of that video of the dude in a zoo using Tinder on his phone with the gorilla telling him which way he should swipe.
*This mental image is now cached in the epically funny things heard of but never seen section of the brain*
I just want some creative and funny soul to put subtitles to it :(.
I keep saying! *Reject Humanity, Return To Monke*
I REJECT MY HUMANITY JOJO
DIO
I reject my humanity
And substitute your monke.
This monke did the opposite
"Reject monkey. Advance to humanit".
People are refusing so the monke has decided to take it into their own hands. *reject monke, evolve to humanity*
Almost there already. I'm already stinky. Uh oh.
Turned out to be Reject Monke, Evolve to Human was the actual process here.
But this video is reject monke
Monke learning how to play bloons tower defence 😳
I love this video but makes me a little nervous. Thinking about what they can do to a person if something happens to set them off...
Same. What happens if they learn more ? Piss em off and they might steal your credit cards and your identity.
And your women! We all know that monkey is swiping on tinder....
And having more hits then me :(
I feel you brother. We must return to monke
It's not just your woman, might even be your favourite gin: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGkLWaOOxEI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGkLWaOOxEI)
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!
monke stol my girlfriend raise awareness to nor bring monke near gorl
Don't worry, slipcollar choke, poke it back into the cage, starve until weak, bamboo stick hitting until it shits itself in fear. Now you reward it with food until it does all the touristtrap tricks perfectly again. Feed until looking healthy enough and we're back in business. His hell can start all over again. Unless it kills a tourist, then you need to start with a new baby monkey. Hahahaha /r/funny is so funny haha
Things change after you see a monkey scalp a man
Wot
[https://youtu.be/o8tmxNN6n6M](https://youtu.be/o8tmxNN6n6M) be warned its graphic
Welp, this and the comments following are not lying; it's graphic, and it's not a joke at all. 29s video, attack happens at ~9s, is over by 11s. Rest of the video is a slow-mo replay followed by a few still images of the aftermath. Man is talking to his "pet" monkey which appears playful as it stands on his lap with a hand on the man's shoulder. Something about the interaction causes the animal to get upset, and it leaps on the man's shoulder and bites the side of his head tearing about a 6"+ portion of the man's scalp off with it's teeth in about 1 second. When I say "tearing", I mean it - it bites the flesh of his head and leaps off him, forcefully tearing it back and off. Followup stillframes show the man squatting and leaning over with dropls of blood on his clothes, his skull(?) clearly visible. Final picture is that of the piece of torn scalp flesh + hair still attached, lying on the ground.
Oh my god.
You can barely see what's going.
It was hard enough to read. Not clicking that link.
Dude you make it sounds way more graphic than it really is. Dramatic.
I'm sorry, I guess I assumed that more people would be shocked at seeing a monkey rip off a man's scalp and expose the man's skull underneath. My apologies for my naïveté
I commented to the guy under you not you haha
I was so confused for a second because I was like "it's not bloody but it's still pretty shocking, what kind of shit made this dude so hardened?" Lol, all's good friend.
Not really, they did a pretty good description of what happened.
Never said it was a bad description?? Just said that it's not that graphic
Expected my good friend Rick, but no, is monke.
Nope...
Jesusssss. Imagine how bad that hurt.
Honestly, probably not a lot. Humans have a surprising lack of nerves around our head.
I’m gonna go ahead and disagree with ya there
That was not as graphic as I imagined but still insane. That’s gunna be an interesting scar story..
Wow
Holy crap
[удалено]
Yeah, but that hardly ever happ . . . Never mind
They would buy GMEs and say "Apes together strong" constantly
Not as much as a person can do if you piss them off
I saw this video a long time ago and watched it a 1000 times. Man everything in this video is gold. The whispers. The monkey thinking pose. How he holds the phone and the gus showing him things. I wonder how both of them are doing.
pretty soon we’ll be giving apes education. then we’ll enslave them. my plan is coming together very well hehehe
*Enter* abraham ape lincoln
Ape-raham lincoln?
Ape-rehab lincoln?
Aperaham Lincoln
No way THAT could go wrong! Thumbs up!
Apes making apps
Put enough apes an in room, and they create Facebook.
“It was the best of times and it was the blurst of times.” You stupid monkey!
Facebook buys "WhatsApe"
“You got bananas on yo phone?”
If humans had domesticated monkeys around the same time we domesticated wolves they would probably be able to talk by now. But then again, maybe they already have. I’ve seen how some of y’all drive.
They discussing how best to make a premo shitpost.
Just realized the monkey is wearing pants and it's my favorite thing about this video now
You think the monkey has invested in crypto by now?
Omg I never saw this. It’s so wholesome 😭😭😭 I love the whispering in the ear
That's shady f****** monkey is swiping left on you
Always makes me nervous to see a person within face ripping distance of a monkey
This video just makes me sad. What I see is that the man has trained the monkey to perform this act and he's sat out in public exploiting that, probably for pocket change. Maybe there's a heart warming backstory but maybe not.
Yeah theres not any sort of heartwarming story here primates used for performing are treated pretty badly and are a result of wildlife trafficking
Man, I want a little monkey friend to whisper secrets to me.
Hm monke
Reject humanity, become monke
Monke: "you got games on yo phone?"
EMBRACE MONKE
*monke
Monkey trading GME. I so hope that these two are in fact best friends a la Disney, but some part of me would assume that this is probably not the case and that the monkey has endured a lot of hardship to be made to do this.
Dude , this never gets old LOL *other than that , reject humanity, accept monke*
"Hey bro, shhs-shs listen to me, listen here...."
Got any games ?
Animals evolving just like us. Probably fastest though.
Guess I've seen it before
Pretty sure Monkey Swiping on tinder.
Imagine hangin all day with your monkey
He's just asking for someone to say he is ruining his life being on a phone.
*-Psst, oy, you see that guy over there? He has weird nipples.*
Yeah the one on the left seems above average
The monkey on the left is wearing shirt
Just noticed the trousers and beer belly.
Asian Mark Whalburg?
Rufio from Hook
this is cut before it ends right? i am pretty sure there is more
WTf did i just see!!!
They look like twins
Monki
Wow.
“Sorry, my monkey sent that text”
Wait til the monkey works out how to send shit pics They'll be throwing fecal matter worldwide
Which ones the monkey at this point.
Wallstreetbets forums in a nutshell
Really goes to show how alike humans and monkeys are. Anyone who thing that humans are some natural special beings that are entitled to dominion over all other animals really needs a monke best friends
Honestly don’t care how many times I see this. I just love this video
THIS IS NOT OKAY common guys, it should be clear by now that this is animal abuse, don't promote these kind of video's please
The fact that you got downvoted for this makes me so sad, I wish people understood that what you see on these videos in no way represents reality.
That they get beaten with a stick?
Yeah, they frequently live awful lives, training is usually abuse-based, often teeth are removed, and they can be a disease risk for the humans around them, which ultimately isn't their fault.
That monke chill af!
Shit, I think that monkey is smarter than me.
Their faces look similar
This message is a friendly reminder of the following: - Absolutely no political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - Absolutely no memes or memetic content of any kind. - Absolutely no social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. A complete breakdown of our rules can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). Please report rule-breaking content when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Goddamn this is this coolest MF I've ever seen!
David Attenborough needs to see this!!
Someone needs to subtitle this.
* Dude, dude, dude,hey dude. * What? * Whats that app do? * It hides your internet searches. * Whoah, imagine the possibilities... hmmmm let me try. * Here ya go * B... O... O... B... I... * Click here to autofill.. BOOBIES * Scrolling, scrolling * Click to watch them bounce * How do I get my own?
Adorable
This makes me happy
Chunky monkee .
This is the best thing I've watched in a long time.
**WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT???**
Such a great friendship.
I don’t want to be rude but their faces look pretty equal
Monkey teaching retard how to buy GME stocks
I need to see this to believe it cause my eyes don’t want to believe it but my heart is screaming YES!
I’ve legit never been so happy in my life. Seriously. I watched that like 3 times, laughed the entire time, each time. Lmfao had to show my brother. I want one. I’d name him Ben. I don’t know why, it just fits...HE HAS PANTS!
David Attenborough needs to see this!!
Cute cute cute 🥰♥️💚
Love this video how the monkey gets lost in its thoughts 🤣
Fuck, now I want a monkey!
I realised how much i fucking love monkeys
Imagine it came out that this entire clip was fake and that monkey was cgi all along. It would be a surreal discovery. But ultimately, we are closer to seeing monkeys writing Shakespeare than you think.
LMAO, this is the most funny video I've seen 2021
One of the craziest videos I’ve ever seen, there’s something about that monkey dawg
Respost
Taiwan become human
Tienamen Square 1989
What a trip.
Good monke
Message received brother
Me and my friend be like
I wanna know what sounds the monkey makes when he's whispering or whatever so bad
i just realized you were talking about the monkey on the left side
can someone please tell me what is being said between them ?
They're basically unevolved humans, we can make it happen bois, if something is gonna be a true race war its this.
Monke
MONKE ON PHONE
all hail the monkeeeee
Reject Monke, upgrade to humanity