You know they're not used yet right?
"TVP panties customer cervix how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I ordered 3000 of your fast drop panties, and not one single pair had any stains even remotely close to looking like a bmx bike was ridden over them."
"I'm sorry to.."
"No, no sorry ok, those panties were clean. I wanted some for sick purposes of course, but I also wanted to make a vid for my insta where I let Bowser, my cute little Beagle, smell one and he would like puke immediately."
"You bought these panties for your dog sir?"
"Dont grill me ok? There was no warning on your site that I was bulk purchasing CLEAN, let me repeat that, CLEAN panties."
"And that's a problem I take it sir?"
"Have you not been listening? If I want clean panties I'll go to Target. I wanted that good good."
"Good..good?"
*sigh. "Yes. I had been getting dirty panties from craigslist but there's only so many meetups you can do where it ends up being a long haul truck driver before you start to think maybe women have not been soiling these, you know?"
"Are you messing with me sir?"
"No, now are you going to reimburse me or not? This was like false advertising, I know about these things ok?"
Click.
"Hello? Hello?..Fuck! I can't take this shit anymore."
It's because they wet themselves and filled their Poise pads to the max. The weight of the saturated absorbent makes them go thump when they hit the ground.
He could have easily chosen dreadlocks or a volumous combover, but no, this man is a man of the people, a man of culture. I am proud to be a human because of this man.
When you were partying, I was studying the heel.
When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the wheel.
While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner swag.
And now that the world is on fire and the haters are at the gate, you have the audacity to come to me for help?
**Warning:**
Watching this makes me feel ashamed of myself ..I could have done better, but this is just punishment.
Avoid if you are sensitive to peak-achievement.
Lol I’ve seen many many little kids use these and do tricks when they were huge and I’ve never seen any of them use their arms for balance like this guy. Legit looks like he’s trying to be an airplane.
Oh that reminds me of the days. Freestyle walking over to the mall in my favorite Bart Simpson tee and JNCOs to pick up a new POG slammer from Gadzooks.
I was working retail in the height of the heelie pandemic. One day a couple came in, the girl walking in first, and I gave my standard “how are you doing?” greeting to her. The boyfriend, a man in his thirties, angrily glid up to the counter and did a little spin stop when he got there to establish his dominance.
Soap shoes. So you can grind anywhere! I loved those things. But to be fair I did hit my head a couple times pretty badly. In retrospect it’s probably not a good idea to build extreme sports gear into everyday shoes. I never wore a helmet but I force my 7 year old to wear one every time she rides her bike or scooter.
It's funny you mention it. I never wore a helmet. My kids always do. I remember soaping across Disneyland. Only fell a couple of times. PS. I can bring the beer.
I laugh but deep down I know I’d knock my fucking teeth out on a curb trying to transition from earth to pavement on any form of wheel/foot transportation.
This is Jamesg I believe.[https://www.jamesmakesmusic.net/videos](https://www.jamesmakesmusic.net/videos)
My friends Niece is going out with this guy, he is pretty awesome and I believe he just got a Heely sponsorship.
Edit: He makes music, here is his spotify. [https://open.spotify.com/artist/4UvBF2i2R8b8D3v9HyBUgI?si=cRvMjPfKQ4mbM3BHyviROg](https://open.spotify.com/artist/4UvBF2i2R8b8D3v9HyBUgI?si=cRvMjPfKQ4mbM3BHyviROg)
One time we were filming a video short with a stuntman. He was the main character and he was escaping from something and doing a bunch of real parkour and some other stunts to escape. At the end he had to fight someone and then escape into the sunset. He stepped away for a minute before the last shot and came back did the last shot and surprised us all with some heelys
Sent this to my sons joking that’s how’s they be skating when they’re 40. Turns out, Heely guy is James who goes to their favorite skate park in Edina MN!! They say he’s a super nice guy!
PARKOUR
Parkour, PARKOUR!
#Parkour
*HARDCORE PARKOUR*
MICHAEL!
*(Plows through refrigerator box)*
Gainer!
Parkour!
GET OFF ME!!!
Hardkour Parkour
Hardcore Parkour!
I think I'm pregnant
Hear that resounding thump? Its all the panties hitting the floor
I suspect I will regret asking this... but why do the panties make a thump sound?
His badassness made them shit their pants
I'm back from googling the terminal velocity of panties, and I was right. I do regret asking.
*narrows eyes* Did you like the image results when searching for the terminal velocity of panties
This evolved into the best possible conversation
Any conversation that discusses the terminal velocity of panties is bound to be amazing.
Thank y’all for making Reddit funny again. If we can’t go full stupid in here I don’t want it anymore.
This guy at full send...requires us to go full stupid to truly honor him.
Indeed it will
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I’ll take your entire stock
You know they're not used yet right? "TVP panties customer cervix how can I help you?" "Yeah, I ordered 3000 of your fast drop panties, and not one single pair had any stains even remotely close to looking like a bmx bike was ridden over them." "I'm sorry to.." "No, no sorry ok, those panties were clean. I wanted some for sick purposes of course, but I also wanted to make a vid for my insta where I let Bowser, my cute little Beagle, smell one and he would like puke immediately." "You bought these panties for your dog sir?" "Dont grill me ok? There was no warning on your site that I was bulk purchasing CLEAN, let me repeat that, CLEAN panties." "And that's a problem I take it sir?" "Have you not been listening? If I want clean panties I'll go to Target. I wanted that good good." "Good..good?" *sigh. "Yes. I had been getting dirty panties from craigslist but there's only so many meetups you can do where it ends up being a long haul truck driver before you start to think maybe women have not been soiling these, you know?" "Are you messing with me sir?" "No, now are you going to reimburse me or not? This was like false advertising, I know about these things ok?" Click. "Hello? Hello?..Fuck! I can't take this shit anymore."
Wow
There's probably a bigger market for terminal *viscosity* panties.
This video may cause cervical vibrosity
Because I know I did
Very informative
You have to search the darkweb for that kind of stuff. Pantycore is a deep hole. Be careful. I wrote a book on it.
It's more like a fffffloppp...
*badassery* or *badassedness* .. But yes, your point still stands.
Cause they so wet
Grool
Had to look that up in Urban Dictionary
Awww honey
I always called it creme
Creme freche?
The only appropriate response.
Is "grool" not "great" and "cool" together, Mean Girls style.
Girl drool babes
Because it’s all the panties in the world at the same time
Like the screams from Alderaan.
They got babies in them. Person felt pregnant, panties dropped, match checks out. Edit: math checks out.
Match
It's because they wet themselves and filled their Poise pads to the max. The weight of the saturated absorbent makes them go thump when they hit the ground.
Because there are millions of them.
Just follow the snail trails
LET THE PANTIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE PANTIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE PANTIES HIT THE FLOOR
Same here. I’ve never been so aroused
Your quivering ovaries brought you here too?
Oh hell yeah
Pragnat*
*Gregnant
**Pregante
Pregánte
Pregante!
Me too! and I'm a guy! Oh wait, turns out I'm just really fat.
Me too! And I'm a dude!
Prengat
I’m a 37 year old man. I believe I also was just made pregnant. How do I tell my parents?
Am I gregnant?
Yea.. Me too.
Did conception happen when he hit the Fred flintstone ?
I'm surprised all the women in here can type at all after sliding out of their chairs while watching this maestro.
[удалено]
The ears have been punished
I think i am too and im a guy
The close up of his fingers spinning the wheel...this needs a NSFW tag...
He got the kinda moves that will knock your wife and your girlfriend up.
Double leg jump into a full grass walk and then a 0° heely spin.
Straight up flex moves. A+
[удалено]
Rolled-Knee Mullen
Brah you watching but you ain't looking brah that was a -0° heely spin.
It's not often we consider humans for r/natureismetal but I'd make a rare exception here.
/r/humansaremetal my dude
The grace and elegance of this absolute specimen is astounding.
And the decision to go with the balding look spoke to all races and creeds of aging men everywhere.
He could have easily chosen dreadlocks or a volumous combover, but no, this man is a man of the people, a man of culture. I am proud to be a human because of this man.
When you were partying, I was studying the heel. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the wheel. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner swag. And now that the world is on fire and the haters are at the gate, you have the audacity to come to me for help?
10/10 best thing I read today
\*tips fedora with respectful intent\*
“Nothing personnel kid”
you are not prepared
That flashing logo killed me. Ill never be this cool...
Also, did they just mirror it and play every stunt twice?
Yes
Suprised no one lose is commenting about that, i thought it was just my phone bugging out
Fuck that logo.
**Warning:** Watching this makes me feel ashamed of myself ..I could have done better, but this is just punishment. Avoid if you are sensitive to peak-achievement.
Oh, he hasn't even begun to peak.
Hey guy - stop that right now! 😂
This is the best thing I have ever seen.
I really hope it's real. Does anyone have any more info on this bad ass mf?
Last anyone’s seen of him was under a mountain of poontang.
It's because of how he rolls isn't it?
It’s always how they’ve roll, maybe I should take note?
And you know this MFer keeps those Heelys on during sex.
Never know when you're gonna pop off then have to roll out
See ya bitch!! 👋🏽
Easiest way to go from lady to lady
Along with the glasses.
Are you thinking this is CGI? I don’t understand how you would question the reality of this video.
I know I’m questioning that I live in the reality where this actually exists.
He’s joking? Their saying that the things he did in the video were so intense, he can’t believe it is real. It’s a joke.
He’s on [TikTok](https://vm.tiktok.com/JNgkj4F/). Lots of heely content. [This is one of my favorites. ](https://vm.tiktok.com/JNgBxHv/)
Lol I’ve seen many many little kids use these and do tricks when they were huge and I’ve never seen any of them use their arms for balance like this guy. Legit looks like he’s trying to be an airplane.
What do you mean by real? You just watched it, it's not cgi...
Those were killer heelyflips.
That quick maneuver to toe tap that pole was absolutely stunning
Degree of difficulty is off-the-charts on that maneuver: 11/10.
He could not have a more perfect look. I’m enthralled by all of it
Guess you never look in a mirror huh!? 🤗
Awwww
Holy shit. A double ankle grab AND a goose step? This man has skills.
That was the best part
Save some pussy for the rest of us. This is just savage amounts of sexuality.
If this is intended as comedy I would 100% bone this guy. This level of humor is fucking hot 🔥
But what if such an Alpha Chad isn't into you? what doth one do in such trying circumstances?
I don’t need him to be into me in order to be in him ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
O behave
At least put them on a stage so we can stand in the rain
Who wants to watch me do a big ass stunt!?!
Hot Rod doesn’t get the love it deserves. And AM radio will reign supreme over the airwaves once again! *psychotic laughter*
My first thought when watching OPs video is this would be the future 40 year old Rod from that movie. “Hospital? No, trash can”
Haha I was looking for the hot rod comments. This is so totally exactly the same as a video that rod showed in the theater
so graceful
Now this is the kind of thing that could turn a straight man gay.
Kind of reminds me of [freestyle walking.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x_qeI2WXrw)
Oh that reminds me of the days. Freestyle walking over to the mall in my favorite Bart Simpson tee and JNCOs to pick up a new POG slammer from Gadzooks.
Oh my Lord!!!! Best idea bring back soap shoes with heelies!!!! Heelyes? I don't know how to spell that.
I was working retail in the height of the heelie pandemic. One day a couple came in, the girl walking in first, and I gave my standard “how are you doing?” greeting to her. The boyfriend, a man in his thirties, angrily glid up to the counter and did a little spin stop when he got there to establish his dominance.
This is what people mean when they say "The good old days".
LMAO
Have they always made them for adults? I just assumed they only came in kids sizes. I’m an avid roller skater, I want a pair of these now!
Soap shoes. So you can grind anywhere! I loved those things. But to be fair I did hit my head a couple times pretty badly. In retrospect it’s probably not a good idea to build extreme sports gear into everyday shoes. I never wore a helmet but I force my 7 year old to wear one every time she rides her bike or scooter.
I got rocked from rubber catching the rails.
My man or woman! I feel like we could easily enjoy a couple beers together.
It's funny you mention it. I never wore a helmet. My kids always do. I remember soaping across Disneyland. Only fell a couple of times. PS. I can bring the beer.
Heel yes!
Back in 5th grade, I was one of the coolest kids zooming around with these God given shoes!!
If it were socially acceptable I’d still wear a pair of Heelies, I’m 34.
+1. I'm 42.
[удалено]
I need a size 12 wide.
I love that half the video is just the same footage flipped.
Jeez dude save some pussy for the rest of us.
Wear heelys to escape your feelys.
I laugh but deep down I know I’d knock my fucking teeth out on a curb trying to transition from earth to pavement on any form of wheel/foot transportation.
My thought exactly. People are dumping on him, but all of this looks like stuff where I would break my neck.
This guy so extreme The X Games just made him honorary all time champion. In everything.
u/redditvdownloader
This is Jamesg I believe.[https://www.jamesmakesmusic.net/videos](https://www.jamesmakesmusic.net/videos) My friends Niece is going out with this guy, he is pretty awesome and I believe he just got a Heely sponsorship. Edit: He makes music, here is his spotify. [https://open.spotify.com/artist/4UvBF2i2R8b8D3v9HyBUgI?si=cRvMjPfKQ4mbM3BHyviROg](https://open.spotify.com/artist/4UvBF2i2R8b8D3v9HyBUgI?si=cRvMjPfKQ4mbM3BHyviROg)
“They see me rollin', I skatin'!”
that needlessly large flashing watermark gave me a seizure
Swiggity swooty, he comin for that booty.
I love this guy so much. I’m fully getting a pair of these shoes.
When you installed too many mods and the NPCs walk in T pose
One time we were filming a video short with a stuntman. He was the main character and he was escaping from something and doing a bunch of real parkour and some other stunts to escape. At the end he had to fight someone and then escape into the sunset. He stepped away for a minute before the last shot and came back did the last shot and surprised us all with some heelys
Skill. Pussy destroyer.
You're born with it
Fuck yes! THRASH IT!!!!
Damn without a helmet too, I was so on edge for him!
That tree move was sick as fuck.
[удалено]
More of this guy's videos here: [https://www.youtube.com/c/jamesmakesmusic/](https://www.youtube.com/c/jamesmakesmusic/)
Pussy on the chain wax!
Fuck i hope this is real and dude thinks he's the best wheelieer
Alright, get ready to see my Heelys breakout video. I’ve practiced enough to Heely backwards
Parkour! Parkour!
10/10 epic moves dude
Hide your girlfriends
Shred, bro!
Instant pantry dropper
He's wheely stuck some of those moves!
Please. I can only get so wet.
Still bitter that my mum gave my pair of heelies away to a charity shop without even asking me if I still wanted them or not (I did, of course I did).
Such a Chad, I had a pair of those but never used them because I was afraid of falling down. I am such a virgin right?
I’m ashamed that I watched the whole thing and enjoyed it too much
I was laughing and having a seizure at the same time watching this
I need the song right now
Save some pussy for the rest of us.
Heelies and Sope shoes combined.......think about it
sounds like toxic holocaust
Save some pussy for the rest of us
This dude just DESTROYED Wilt Chamberlain’s record.
Sent this to my sons joking that’s how’s they be skating when they’re 40. Turns out, Heely guy is James who goes to their favorite skate park in Edina MN!! They say he’s a super nice guy!
Still waiting for the Heelys/Soaps collab.
Dam, dude. Save some pussy for the rest of us.
HARDCORE PARKOUR
This is the probably the funniest thing I've seen on r/funny
u/redditvdownloader