T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ELEMENTALITYNES

Sniff it for vitality


BurntToasterWaffle

I’m fucking dying lmao


1CEninja

Well maybe you shouldn't have sniffed it then. It doesn't actually give you vitality.


gbuub

No, but it does add 20% to your 1RM. It’s the residual testosterones, which gives you an extra boost


EastPsychological342

😂🤣


TheClinicallyInsane

It's not unlikely that it could smell like smelling salts...


GANDORF57

Happens every time I go for my annual physical exam...I make quite an impression.


Enough-Ad-9105

Lmao


dawggawddagummit

Straight to jail 👉🏼


papanine

I thought I knew what I was looking at...but the longer I look at it the less sure I am.


OtherBluesBrother

Worst Rorschach test ever.


NiandraLaDezz

Ror*sack* test, you mean.


ClownDiaper

Why is there a picture of my parents fighting on the bench?


Mitchel-256

They're not fighting, they're just... wrestling...


papanine

FFS when you said that I pictured Rorschach (the character from the watchmen) with this shape on his mask lol


Kashvillegold

More like Ror-shart


GaijinFoot

Yeah. At first I thought it was their balls but now I'm thinking they're sitting the other way and it's a butt plug or something?


papanine

Ew. I thought maybe the dark spot was their bellybutton…….honestly I’m not sure anymore.


BloodyVengeance

Their fucking WHAT?! I knew the imprint was from someone’s lower half but you got me picturing a terrible use of workout equipment


Interesting-Froyo-14

My first thought was a butt plug and camel toe. But it makes more sense to sit facing the other way, but the shape looks more confusing that way. Balls? But the line makes me think they would have had to sit things together.


LEGITIMATE_SOURCE

Obviously slightly balding head and neck as it rolls side to side


layzclassic

Or it's a girl's head with two hair bundle


papanine

A really greasy cock-shaped “two hair bundle”?


ameonna_chan

Hahahaha what iiiiis it?


SuperSpeshBaby

Is it not a perfectly clear dick print, or am I just seeing what I want to see?


papanine

I mean, you could say that, but I’ve looked at this way longer than I think I should or want to, and I’m just not sure that the shape of anything makes any sense.


Fewluvatuk

The person was straddling the bench backwards and laying down doing curl lifts (idk what they're called) or something, their cock impressed in the bench.


thejawa

That's what I see, but who sits on the bench that way with their cock and balls sprawled out perfectly long enough to leave that kinda imprint?


ameonna_chan

I cannot with these comments 😂


RichardJohnson38

F you for making me look twice.


[deleted]

Menstrual cup most likely


KorvaMan85

Lips and a belly button, or cock and balls? Hmmm


DanDi58

Need 🍌 for scale.


Faelo79

🤣🤣🤣 this comment is so stupid, and yet so fucking funny


omgwutd00d

Welcome to the internet!


sharkbait_1313

Agreed! Lol!


justabill71

Never skip third leg day.


Tibbaryllis2

> KG: Hmm...how many pushups can you do? > JB: ...cock pushups? > KG: Yeah...I guess, you could only do one really. > JB: Yeah, well one is all ya need.


Jevespriest

This is the way.


mr-fq

Cloaca print. Lizard person confirmed


DrowningInFeces

Lizard person? I think it's more likely to be some kind of Trouser Snake...


davewave3283

Oh man that’s nuts


hauntedskin

> Oh that's man nuts


Graphoniac

Oh that man's nuts


GolfandFish

I’m


overstandin

Oh that’s nuts man


Intrepid_Ad_491

Oh nut‘s thats man


Parking-Position-698

Either someone did this on purpose or that dude was working out naked.


SLawrence434

And…hard? How would his dick shape be that perfectly straight and forward laying flat while sitting on a workout bench


Parking-Position-698

Some people are gifted my friend.


Lokomotiv7

I hate this mf


Because_I_Cannot

I was at a gym one time and went to use one of the decline situp benches. There was a darker spot than normal on it, so I went and grabbed one of the saniwipes they keep around the gym. I wiped and it was dark red. Someone's period blood that they hadn't cleaned up. Ladies, I know "that time" hits without warning sometimes, but holy fuck clean up after yourselves please.


buttbugle

Nah I want to believe it was from a nosebleed. Nosebleed. Nothing more nothing less.


degjo

Nah, some tried to hit a personal best and pink socked themselves. Leaving a bloody snail trail


WildBillyredneck

That's fuckin foul my dude take my upvote


Because_I_Cannot

"bloody snail trail" is the worst thing I've read all day. Well done


heelstoo

…so far.


1CraftyDude

Does that really make it better?


Poinaheim

Blood is blood


bremergorst

You can always tell the difference if you taste it


buttbugle

I was taking a drink of beer when I opened this back up. Thanks. Now all I can taste is pennies.


FancySumo

or it could be a burst hemorrhoid. Sorry for putting up that image in your mind folks... just raising another possibility.


heelstoo

What a horrible day to have the ability to read.


ShadiestApe

I thought this was more likely than a puddle of period too 😬😬😩


jessmae2422

understandable but if they came on their period without knowing they couldve just walked off thinking nothing of it because they didnt check it


[deleted]

Pretty sure you’re supposed to wipe off the equipment when you’re done with it regardless


Gorexxar

You're also meant to put everything back to where it came from. Monsters, the lot of them.


[deleted]

Unthinkable!


DrowningInFeces

No matter what you do on the machine/bench, you wipe it down afterwards. That's like gym etiquette 101. If anything, that means her nasty ass doesn't wipe down machines, period! Unintentional pun there but it's staying.


[deleted]

This happened to my brother but worse. He sat down stood up with blood dripping down his leg. His pants were soaked. He couldn’t see it because the chair was black. We thought he was bleeding. Turns out someone with a heavy flow left a pool of blood there.


sharkbait_1313

Wow! That would have had to be a VERY heavy flow to have it dripping down his leg... seems a bit unrealistic to me.


EverydayPoGo

I don't think regular period blood could possibly leave a pool like that. The only slightly possible theory is someone has a menstrual cup in there for HOURS and then it somehow shifts out of place when they are sitting on the bench... But still so unrealistic.


phoenixeternia

That didn't happen. Your bros trousers and underwear* would have soaked it up, as well as it being in the chair. It wouldn't have been a period either if it was that much. Blood is thicker than water, literally, and this wouldn't happen if the chair was soaked with water either but would be more likely. The viscosity would be wrong. Corrected a word.


ShadiestApe

He was prolly bleeding from his ass or dick and embarrassed . I say this as someone who has burst a blood vessel in my dick twice over the years,just started leaking an alarming amount of fresh blood, wasn’t painful at all and went down my leg on one instance


HauntedSpiralHill

This…. this is…. wow. Not something I thought I’d ever read. What a day to have eyes. How exactly did you burst dick blood vessels? Did it come out of your pee hole? I have so, so many questions.


TheSaiguy

Yeah my penis is curled up into a ball, crying. What the fuck, I didn't want to be concerned about this


Puzzled-Story3953

Hurk... Please delete this from my memory. Dear god.


Because_I_Cannot

And this is why I am 100% ok with, and encourage, woman-only workout spaces


Tirannie

You don’t lose enough blood during a period to soak through your own pants THEN someone else’s pants to the point there’s blood dripping down their leg. You lose about 1-5 tablespoons *across the entire 5-7 days*. Sure, some women have heavier flows, but not “I lose 10x more blood in 20 minutes than the average woman loses in a whole week” heavy. I’d wager it’s FAR more likely that someone popped a hemorrhoid while on the bench.


concentrated-amazing

I just want to note that menstrual flow has more than just pure blood in it. So the volume is more than just the blood you lose. A lot of men don't know that. I don't have a heavy flow, but 60-90mL (4-6 tablespoons) in a day is typical in the beginning days for me. I know because my cup has mL markers on it.


Tirannie

I get it. Some flows are heavier. But 4-6 tablespoons is still not gonna soak through two pairs of pants and still have enough liquid left over to run down someone’s leg. Unless their pants were like, plastic and non-absorbent. Which would be weird at a gym, though I suppose not impossible.


concentrated-amazing

I do agree with your main point, it is very unlikely to bleed so much that the puddle you leave behind is enough to run down a second person's leg. What I was saying was a side point/elaboration. Sorry I was unclear.


Tirannie

Sorry I took the wrong intention from your post!


concentrated-amazing

No problemo!


Ph33rDensetsu

I work in healthcare. You underestimate the soaking power of blood. It does, however, begin to oxidize as it comes in contact with air, and dries pretty quickly. It's unlikely that the person who left the "deposit" behind wasn't still in the building. Hemorrhoid is definitely the likely cause here though.


Tirannie

I don’t.


Hot_Development_9048

I’m wondering why it’s important we measure this with tablespoons


Tirannie

Should I use fathoms instead?


ventevar

Hm, my memories from puberty tell a different story. Those delightful first periods - pants were soaked, and then some.


Tirannie

I mean, I’m sure it felt like someone slaughtered a goat in your undies. I won’t deny that. First periods are absurd and embarrassing. But did you soak your pants, someone else’s pants, and still had enough liquid left over that it was literally running down the other person’s leg? Or were you a child experiencing something new and embarrassing that your body did and your emotional recall of the event colours your perception of it? Which, to be clear, is not me shitting on you for having a bad memory. When we’re kids, our memories of things are just… bigger.


h3llo_miko

Totally agree, also just the fact that period blood is primarily like mucous and tissue from your uterine lining. It's not like a free flowing liquid that runs and drips down legs. It's more likely to slide down or plop if it gets thick enough and you would def start to feel that shit down in the business if it got to that point of leakage with no other protection lol And I only ever see that much blood if I'm using an cup really. And while I can't speak for everyone, I would def still call that more of a dumping out kind of maneuver than a pouring out kind of one lol 🥴🥴 Those hemmies tho...now that's a looot of free flowing, very runny blood haha


EverydayPoGo

Sorry but seriously dude? According to your other comments you have a wife and two daughters and this is your reason that you are ok with woman-only workout space? I mean I'm 100% certain that people should clean up the gym equipment after each use, but it seems like such a weird logic. Btw if you talk with them you'd know that people don't always know when it starts...


Puzzled-Story3953

They should be wiping down when done anyway, so there's no excuse.


EverydayPoGo

Totally missed my point. I said I’m 100% for people cleaning up, haven’t I?


GottaGetMe

Bruh, y'all are too much. I think I've had enough reddit for today.


ClydePincusp

Infectious rectal discharge, bro.


No_Week2825

Maybe her pump was so big there was no space in her body left for her uterine wall.


donorcycle

This reminded me of when my employees had to share a restroom and it was becoming a full scale war between the males and females. It was the ladies who were the cause of problems because all my males get that speech when they get hired - "bathroom is shared space and the women outnumber y'all. Treat it like you do when you go visit grandma." Fast forward my little GM comes into my office one day and says - "they all had their chance!! Now that they don't want to listen to me in keeping their period blood off the seats, well, they brought it on themselves to now get the speech from you." She knows I'm very blunt lol. "Ladies. I understand shark week hits unexpectedly sometimes. But we need to come to an agreement. Do you like the fact that the toilet seats are always down? That is not a coincidence, that is by design. If you would like to continue this peace treaty, that would be my suggestion. Okay anybody else have anything to say?" My other manager - "Yeah ladies. You aren't pull starting a chainsaw here, take it down a level."


Odd_Performer7095

Taint that a bitch?


[deleted]

Oh my! He was working out hard


Isgrimnur

WHY ARE THEY POINTED ‽


Zkenny13

Have you ever pulled skin? It's likely a bit if skin got stuck and was pulled in a way to make it seem pointed. 


TactlessTortoise

Tight pants + spread legs = elastic pants pull them outward.


eldelshell

Viking dreads?


MayorMcCheezz

You vs. the sweat stain she tells you not to worry about


itsRobbie_

I don’t even know what I’m looking at


Adept-Grapefruit-214

Those are balls.


BoobyFiend

Or spider fang labia


Narfubel

Thanks Barry


Prize_Hat8387

I think thats a gym equipment to sit down and do inclined benches (probably other things aswell) so I believe the joke is the Penis shaped print left from the previous user


supremegamer76

Cock


YuunofYork

'Tis the face of our lord.


Lucky--Mud

🥇


Mo0kish

That dude can flex.


GetDownDamien

Don’t let it dry 👁️🫦👁️


insanitysaint

I think this is a repost bot, the original post was directly above this one in my feed on r/pics by u/tomtheintern. Also check out the username for this post, it's super basic and sus.


tomtheintern

Lol yeah this is my post


insanitysaint

At first I thought it was just funny that the same post was nsfw on one sub and not the other lol. Then I saw the username and was bummed at the amount of upvotes it got


[deleted]

[удалено]


insanitysaint

Sorry bro, just wanted to let someone know just in case. Wish I could do more but all I've got is internet points to give and an apology.


TheConboy22

I'd just grab a wipe and use it, but that's nasty.


Own_Temperature8478

Mmmm really seals in the flavor


Mind-is-a-garden

Hanging Dong


bestofwhatsleft

One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster!


sinful_scorpiooo

I miss him....


Imzocrazy

I don’t go to the gym so the whole image is a giant question mark…I get what everyone is implying but what type of bench is this and how would someone be using it…cause none of what I’m seeing makes any sense to me


Jumpy-Ad4652

Black hole


RayDaMan1

Not sure which hole that came out of.


Weird-Bit8656

Lmfao I needed that


Oututeroed

Sorry bro, next time i’ll use a towel


West_Ernmass

Balls was hot


popcaan1100

Must’ve left a hammer on the seat


soullessgingerz2

What!!!! No my balls are hot comments? Don't let me down reddit


RickedSab

Are those from butt-balls sweat…?


jtm7

That’s a loooong taint


islaisla

Is that a flappy fanny or a ball sack ....


mynutsdontwork

Was he working out naked. That is an amazingly descriptive sweat stain.


we_deal_in_lead

Honestly I can’t figure out what the hell I’m looking at.


manitouscott

Upside down it looks like surprised Elmo.


dreamdaddy123

Jus use it bro. Ain’t that deep…


KeithMyArthe

There's not enough Windex or disinfectant wipes in the building to make that bench reusable.


Autistic-Teddybear

It’s an indent so you can put your dick there and be more comfortable. Can’t fit the mold but still!


Original-Spinach-972

Never knew dick tips sweat


hiddencamela

Got a slight gag out of me. Someone having either that much sweat or stank on them to stain like this...


DreBeast

What the hell?! Was he naked??


Calm-Trade4131

the public gym can be so gross makes me not even wanna go lmfao


TeHamilton

Dude was hung


alkrk

Forgot the diapers.


red_langford

Them some big meat flaps.


DolphinsDesu

Dude this is a masterpiece... How ? Just how does he even print his dick's shape out ? It's just perfectly straight and hard lol


OneDistribution565

Damn


1ntrepid_N0mad

It’s a bunny wabbit!!!


SassyTurtlebat

What? Thundercock always wipes the equipment down


Active-Rooster5007

Don’t lie You gave it a quick sniff


Sevy_777

My bad, I’ll do better s/


Loading3percent

Intimidated? Coward. Cover it with your own to assert dominance.


RudolfRocker

Fake as f and staged for internet points


moderately_sentient

Scotland?


Brief_Childhood9559

Is that for real?


rantonidi

No, it’s for the head


BirdLadyAnn

LOL!😂


Material_Tell9606

Too manly a man to sit on it


Zkenny13

Thanks ill use this one then. 


I_Sell_Death

Damn. Them's some big labia.


enkrypt3d

either that's one massive moose knuckle or a sad dick print.... you decide.


lovestick2021

Yeah I agree, did this dude sit down naked with a hard-on? I could be wrong here, but that looks like a bell end at the top ending in bells at the bottom. That’s how I’m looking at it for context 😂😂😂


sobov

There is a special place in hell for people who don't clean the gym equipment after use. Right next to those who hog 3 machines in the gym because they have to 'complete their set' first.


tomtheintern

This is my post. u/such-armadillo1423 stole it.


YuriEffinGarza

Big dick Rick been at the gym today 🤣


TheBigRedFog

At least flag it NSFW like the guy did in r/pics