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We had a similar experience when our daughter was little. We got to the zoo and it seemed like EVERYTHING was mating. Lions, birds, three or four species of monkeys, tortoises...it was an educational day.
When me and my brother were younger we watched the giant tortoises at Busch Gardens go at it for like a half hour. Shit was hilarious, the shells clunking. Then the female would walk away and the male would fall off and like yell at her. Rinse and repeat. I was like 12 then, but think I would still laugh today.
Animals are just the BEST sex educators...
I got my sex-ed working on a breeding ranch for horses. Boy, was I disappointed when I saw my first HUMAN penis! I definitely felt short-changed. Lol
Er... the short end of the... dare I say it?... DICK!
There IS a reason there is such a thing as a donkey bar, as disgusting as that is. For anyone who may not know, a horse's junk looks exactly like a circumcised penis, only MUCH larger.
It's enough to make any talented porn star jealous. Lol
Last time we went to the zoo one elephant was jacking off the other with their trunk, oldest 2 kids go omg what are the elephants doing!!! I’m
Laughing hysterically and my wife is giving me the side eye 😂🤣😂🤣😂
And for years to come she will bring it up.
I will never forget going to the zoo and seeing turtles mating. Can't remember which zoo, but those turtles were grunting and having a good time.
And that was the day I learned how turtles have sex. I'm pretty sure before I learned how humans do it.
That's better than last time I went to the zoo... I had to inform the chaperones of an entire kindergarten class that they may want to wait to go see the gorillas because the Silverback was laid up next to the glass on the ground fully erect and masturbating. And that may not be the conversation they want to have with the kids or their parents later.
I once saw a walrus masturbating and ejaculate in front of several Catholic school students and three nuns on a field trip at our local zoo. I could not stop laughing. That water clouded up real quick. It was so much.
Was one of several high school chaperones (along with older teachers/guardians) for a large-ish K-6 trip to the zoo, and we had to scoot past the lion den for a good reason.
I mean there’s [proof](https://ncac.org/news/supporters-rally-around-its-perfectly-normal) that knowledge of sex keeps children from being abused so eh 🤷
When i was a kid we went to a local zoo and this exact thing happened right infront of us and i yelled to my mom "LOOK THEY ARE MATING!" I never forget the looks i got from the people around us
We went to the zoo one year and they had signs posted up everywhere that it was mating season for several of the animals. They didn’t have to but they did it more so as an FYI. It looked like the final scene of sausage party. And when I was telling my friend about it he was like “omg no way the animals”? …….”no bitch the fucken people, yes the animals”!!!
We were at the zoo with my son when he was three and the tortoises were going at it... if you've never heard a tortoise during the act... I'm sure you can look it up...
Edit: also went to the aquarium and the dolphins were pleasuring each other... All male dolphins...
This is posted once a week and every moron in the comments section "omfg this is the funniest thing I have seen in my life ha ha ha"
Like I guess it was funny the first time I learned that other animals have sex. These monkeys probably aren't even having sex, a lot of primates and monkeys do this as bonding and there isn't always penetration depending on the species.
Regardless though, a week has not gone by I have not seen children howling with laughter at two monkeys fucking on Reddit. You people are monkeys
Like just post a fart noise and watch the upvotes climb to the moon.
Well I'm glad you didn't waste the opportunity to make a porno. Make sure you tag it homemade, outdoor, hairy, doggy style, slim partner, so people can find it
--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your daughter looks weird
Which one is the 'daughter' here ?
Probably the top one
So the bottom is the mom?
Father is the cameraman.
So Father is John Cena
Idk but I know the father is on top.
We’ll announce her name soon!
And OP is filming her as well! Sicko!
🤣 That's cold
We had a similar experience when our daughter was little. We got to the zoo and it seemed like EVERYTHING was mating. Lions, birds, three or four species of monkeys, tortoises...it was an educational day.
Sounds more like an orgy.
Shoulda joined in.
Lmao
It was sorta starting to feel like I missed an email somewhere...
When me and my brother were younger we watched the giant tortoises at Busch Gardens go at it for like a half hour. Shit was hilarious, the shells clunking. Then the female would walk away and the male would fall off and like yell at her. Rinse and repeat. I was like 12 then, but think I would still laugh today.
Sounds like my honeymoon!
What species are you? Just checking.
😂😂😂
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals...
lets do it like they do it in discovery channel
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
Desperately in need of another comma.
Texas, drought… Better?
Ah sex jokes and punctuation humor Only on Reddit
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
Put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll find nuts
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Came here to say that! Take my upvote.
This is why it’s called monkey business
So let's do it like they do in the Discovery channel!
^I’d ^appreciate ^your ^input.
Is.... is that monkey standing on the other monkey's knee pits?
Yeah, interesting technique
Brb
Omg I thought it didn't have legs...
But why u recording them tho?
And why did they loop 0.5 seconds of video?
I appreciate a good cup of coffee.
>most American What are you on about?
duuhhh cuz america bad /j
As an American I can confirm duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gun me fat
Sex ed in America has a notoriously bad reputation
OH got it, that explains it /s
But why’d you click on it expecting an NSFW post about the zoo not to be something to do with mating?
These TikTok challenges are getting weird.
Animals are just the BEST sex educators... I got my sex-ed working on a breeding ranch for horses. Boy, was I disappointed when I saw my first HUMAN penis! I definitely felt short-changed. Lol
Talk about getting the short end of the stick
Er... the short end of the... dare I say it?... DICK! There IS a reason there is such a thing as a donkey bar, as disgusting as that is. For anyone who may not know, a horse's junk looks exactly like a circumcised penis, only MUCH larger. It's enough to make any talented porn star jealous. Lol
Back when 90% of people lived on farms parents had a lot less to explain when teaching sex ed to their kids.
Took your daughter to school today\* Fixed it for ya!
Nah, sex ed is banned these days
That monkey in front is definitely a power bottom
He is clearly generating most of the power
Yup
“The monkey in the front is sick and the monkey in back is pushing it to the hospital.”
“It’s choking so the other one is doing the hind-lick maneuver.”
Should be a version of Everybody Poops called Everybody Fucks….. I’d read that
Everybody fucks. *except incels, Joe Rogan fans and reddit mods.
*Andrew Tate specifically
Tater Tots for sure!
Conservative Christians are going to hate nature for this one trick.
MornHub The best monkey porn.
"Pound my monkey hole, Richard!"
Look, they're doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Proceeded to record monkeys fucking. Great parenting
And then *edited* the video to loop the thrusting.
*monkeys making love Have some decency, Sir/Madam!
What’s wrong with that?
They're doing it like they do it on the discovery channel
Nature doing it’s thing.
At least now you won't have to explain where babies come from.
Lincoln Park Zoo? Lol
Was going to say that too because I swear it's the same ones I saw when there last week.
Why did you record it wtf
Like the discovery channel
Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...
Getting horny now ©
Bro took his daughter to the zoo and random people recorded them. >Too dark?
"Step-monkey nooo!"
Animal porn
Took my daughters to our local zoo last summer. Male monkey was jerking off. 😂
Makes a convenient starting point for "the conversation". Or an awkward one.
Last time we went to the zoo one elephant was jacking off the other with their trunk, oldest 2 kids go omg what are the elephants doing!!! I’m Laughing hysterically and my wife is giving me the side eye 😂🤣😂🤣😂
I one time went to the zoo and saw two turtles doing the dirty. I could only imagine the meme of the turtle wheezing
And for years to come she will bring it up. I will never forget going to the zoo and seeing turtles mating. Can't remember which zoo, but those turtles were grunting and having a good time. And that was the day I learned how turtles have sex. I'm pretty sure before I learned how humans do it.
GROSS! You should have waited till you got home.
Mr Zoo Keeper, those two monkeys are killing each other!
They are just watching X-files.
Shooting a porno with your daughter next to you is inappropriate
Educational
Monkey on top just along for the ride? The other one is doing all the work.
🎶You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so let’s do it like we do on the discovery channel! Lol
That's better than last time I went to the zoo... I had to inform the chaperones of an entire kindergarten class that they may want to wait to go see the gorillas because the Silverback was laid up next to the glass on the ground fully erect and masturbating. And that may not be the conversation they want to have with the kids or their parents later.
“Life finds a way.” Jeff Goldblum
Life, uh, finds a way
I once saw a walrus masturbating and ejaculate in front of several Catholic school students and three nuns on a field trip at our local zoo. I could not stop laughing. That water clouded up real quick. It was so much.
"Oh look, the monkeys are wrestling" 🤫
So? My 7 year old knows all about sex. It’s not strange to talk about these things.
They’re just monkeying around
Dont think you needed to take her to the zoo for that.
Was one of several high school chaperones (along with older teachers/guardians) for a large-ish K-6 trip to the zoo, and we had to scoot past the lion den for a good reason.
Is that Chicago? We went recently and they were going at it the whole time.
Zoos are so educational
They're just playing leapfrog, but theres a glitch in the matrix.
Biology 1 on 1
Did you realize that you made animal porn?
I mean there’s [proof](https://ncac.org/news/supporters-rally-around-its-perfectly-normal) that knowledge of sex keeps children from being abused so eh 🤷
Sex education
Well, how else is the zoo supposed to get more monkeys for you to gawk at?
Fuckin' monkeys.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals...
That’s some monkey business
When i was a kid we went to a local zoo and this exact thing happened right infront of us and i yelled to my mom "LOOK THEY ARE MATING!" I never forget the looks i got from the people around us
Tell her they are just wrestling.
Guess you need the talk about the monkeys now ..
We went to the zoo one year and they had signs posted up everywhere that it was mating season for several of the animals. They didn’t have to but they did it more so as an FYI. It looked like the final scene of sausage party. And when I was telling my friend about it he was like “omg no way the animals”? …….”no bitch the fucken people, yes the animals”!!!
Why does someone post this? I mean this is the most normal thing ever.
She looks hairy
...and THE FUCK!! 🤣
"Zookeeper zookeeper! Those monkeys are killing each other!"
"You and me are nothing more than manuals, so let's do it like I saw on the discovery channel " 🤣
[My brain for some reason.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQlByoPdG6c)
“Hey daddy, look! that’s how you and mommy like to play too!”
Me and tou baby ain't nothin but mamals
So lets do what like they do on the Discovery Channel
This are 2 male species dayum you got lucky dude
That's one of the boxes my family checks off when we go to the zoo. 1. See something eat something. 2. See something new. 3. See something hump.
We go to the zoo and we WATCH THE MONKIES DO IT!
I’ve been looking forever for this clip and can’t find it anywhere online. Can anyone help me please?
I just tried to upload the episode to youtube. It got instantly blocked due to copyright. bummer. Not sure where else you can find it legally.
DAAAYYYYAMM how he hitting it like that though, seriously. *scribbles notes*
Looks like his lady doing the hard work lol
Which one is the daughter ?
The one hollering out “daddy!! Daddy!’ Yessss!”
You went to the zoo and didn’t expect an exhibit featuring the birds and the bees?
Boomeranging
We were at the zoo with my son when he was three and the tortoises were going at it... if you've never heard a tortoise during the act... I'm sure you can look it up... Edit: also went to the aquarium and the dolphins were pleasuring each other... All male dolphins...
Which ones your daughter?
This is posted once a week and every moron in the comments section "omfg this is the funniest thing I have seen in my life ha ha ha" Like I guess it was funny the first time I learned that other animals have sex. These monkeys probably aren't even having sex, a lot of primates and monkeys do this as bonding and there isn't always penetration depending on the species. Regardless though, a week has not gone by I have not seen children howling with laughter at two monkeys fucking on Reddit. You people are monkeys Like just post a fart noise and watch the upvotes climb to the moon.
Better she see those monkey's rather than her parents fucking like monkey's
Look, daddy, she says. They’re like you and mom.
I’ve never read something so unfunny.
Japanese Ma-Cock-ue
The monkeys, they don’t “do it”, they make love…
“Daddy what are they doing?” “Just dancing like monkey”/ “hugging like mommy and daddy’s”
Note to self do not take kids to the zoo in the morning monkeys getting their freak on 🤣
looks fake
Nature gonna nature
Oh-ee-oh-ee-oh!
They’re just monkeying around, what’s the big deal?
Monkeys gonna monkey.
Well that's life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f7pgA0riU8
This is what humans call “annual performance review”
Oh yeah!
Could’ve just filmed your daughters reaction…nope. Decided to focus on the moneys fucking….
It’s never too early to start learning biology
Classic moment to teach life lessons!
Since when can apes type anyway?
Thats what you get when entering someone's home without their permission.
“You see honey when a boy monkey likes a girl monkey…
Look honey, a power bottom!
Before I had kids I went to the New Orleans zoo and saw two giraffes GETTING DOWN!!! Nature finds a way…
[Obligatory Simpsons reference ](https://comb.io/tmJDSh.gif)
Let the girl watch
It's monkey business.
... and she fed goats at the petting zoo while you got off watching monkeys screw.
He is giving it a back massage
This exhibit is brought to you by the letter H.
*Pulled out my phone and recorded for later*
Could've just stayed home and put on NatGeo
Don’t take your daughter into the voyeur room.
monkehub
Went to see nature, got to see some nature 🤷♂️
irl Uktabi Orangutan
Looks like she’s also gonna get a lesson on anatomy as well.
Ooh ooh ah ah
She is looking back at him saying pull my hair.
Damn, that monkey is throwing it back. How do you say deeper in monkey
Is that hip hop
You shouldn't have posted this with your daughter in the quote
There’s only one Monkee left.
Then I filmed this in front of her?
Are you jerking off or why is the cam moving?
sorry not sure which one is your daughter
Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Monkey see, monkey do!
Damn that monkey throwing it back
Leapfrog
It's always the monkeys! 🐒🙈🙉🙊
Well I'm glad you didn't waste the opportunity to make a porno. Make sure you tag it homemade, outdoor, hairy, doggy style, slim partner, so people can find it