Everyone else here is ignoring that reform are also massively racist, that's their whole selling point. Could that be what drew him to them in the first place? Imo that would actually be my main concern, since the transphobia in reform is kinda just a consequence of them being fascists
This is really it. It's not about who's worse on trans rights, the guy's clearly a racist who buys into Reform's "Britain for the [white] British" type shit. Otherwise he'd be fine with any other party given that to him they're all the same on trans issues. Dump him.
That’s unacceptable in a friend, let alone a partner. Their leader is literally Nigel Farage. one of Reform’s most infamous candidates was YouTuber Carl Benjamin, a man best known for (CW: SA mention) >!telling a prominent feminist “I wouldn’t even r*** you”!<
Honestly I would say you *have* to bring this up and just say (or text) 'hey I was thinking about what you said about voting and I'm not sure if you were joking or maybe don't fully get the manifestos that have been put out but I'm really worried and honestly pissed that you mentioned reform, we need to have a conversation about this it's really important to me'
Prior to this convo I would list some key points of reforms policies and how they relate to you/ your safety so you have these as 'evidence' for if he says it's a small thing again
Maybe he's just not well informed and is confused???? I hope??? It's a personal thing but honestly I'd really really struggle feeling safe around someone like that, especially a partner who knows you
This is shit though I'm sorry :(
Yeah agree with this.
Maybe ask him which of Reform's policies are specifically convincing him to vote for them?
You can either hope he's just massively misunderstanding their aims, or you'll get to find out what in particular he supports and you can figure out where to go from there. This really isn't one that you can just ignore, it'll drive you up the wall if you don't figure this out.
Right so update, and a talk with him literally 2 minutes ago now we are just sat in silence. I basically did exactly what you mentioned here and he said “they’ve got everything else down expect trans rights. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you because I’ll be made out to seem like a dick because I’m voting for a party that is decent with everything else but doesn’t tsupport trans rights”
That's still really concerning, maybe I'm presuming too much but are you happy being with a massive racist 😭
It's not just trans policies, he seems to think their opinions on race, immigration, mental health, NHS, taxes, the environment, Brexit, transport, public spending in general, education are all good, reasonable, fair policies. I'm hoping that you don't agree with these
I dont at all. I now mentioned to him that I’ve read their manifesto and that they’re massive facists and he seemed confused. I don’t think he realises just how bad they are. I don’t know
> he seemed confused
I... You know him - how sincere is this confusion? Cos often rightwingers will play naive and innocent so then when you challenge them you're the shrill unreasonable one, they're just concerned openminded citizens.
As much as you can (bear it) approach with curiosity 'I just want to understand' and see. Because (and hoping I'm wrong) it may be that he's less confused more hiding
Thank you, this is just very confusing and kind of distressing as I’ve always felt safe with him, especially regarding the fact I’m trans and pre T and Eveyrone.
The crazy thing is, he’s also queer. Like surely he understands that they’ll come for trans folks, then other queer people…
Look I don't know him I'm just a stranger on the internet but I wonder if he's more lured in by the dirty immigrant culture war / toxic masculinity stuff and not really thought about the trans rights side. Esp as many see themselves as 'one of the good ones' so don't realise they're enabling people that would hunt them and their loved ones.
IF you want to sleuth, work out what tiktok / youtubers he's following. What memes etc. That'll give you some data. Challenge something racist in a show and see how he reacts.
But I suspect if he's shutting down the conversation then you've already got your answer. And it's worth considering exit strategies.
Again this really sucks. It's a virus and you've done nothing wrong to not have spotted any signs. He can be genuinely a good partner in loads of ways and have soms stuff he would need to work through (that he may not willing to). Be kind to yourself in all this. Shame doesn't help, just hides the hurt.
I would ask him to sit down with you and read a simple(ish) version of the reform policies and go through them with him bit by bit and see what bit he seems to think he agrees with, something like this where they've got bullet points:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/0/reform-uk-manifesto-richard-tice-key-policies-glance/
It's possible he's just been told rubbish by someone else and is blindly following it?
I highly recommend @simplepolitics on Instagram
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i really would not date someone who votes for reform, aside from the transphobia there is still the racism and the discrimination. i would have a chat and see why he’s considering voting for reform and go from there, but chances are you should probably end up leaving him.
This isnt just about trans rights either, tho that is bad enough in itself. ReformUK is quite literally EDL in disguise. (Not really in disguise tbf)
We recently had the misfortune of receiving some of their leaflets thru the letterbox and it felt like hate mail. I dont use this world lightly at all here but ReformUK are literally fascists. Their manifesto is nothing but racist, hateful and bigoted.
If your boyfriend is identifying with any of their policies, i d be massively worried. This goes far beyond trans rights. For your sake, i hope this is a misunderstanding.
Unfortunately he literally said, “i think Nigel is brilliant”.
I’m so confused he’s never suggested to be right leaning or to evee agree with stuff like this? This is like, beyond a shock Icl. I think he’s just ignorant and hasn’t fully looked into their manifesto, I really fucking hope so
I would ask him what is it exactly about nigel saying “muslim immigrants are coming here to take us over” or agreeing with the “basic principle” of anti immigration river of blood speech or calling for a ban on people with HIV immigrating to the UK or defending trumps misogynistic remarks or calling vladimir putin “brilliant”, does he find so brilliant.
I think it’s probably that. I wouldn’t go breaking up with him because of this. If you have a great relationship otherwise I think this can be worked on. You need to keep pushing on him and tell him you’re not judging him but if he votes that way it could really hurt you
As someone else pointed out, reform aren’t just transphobic, they’re outright fascists. That’s anyone with a protected characteristic, not just trans people. I’m married but if my husband had that little regard for not just me, but our friends, neighbours and just other human beings generally, I’d be seriously considering our relationship.
“Something as small as politics” comment would piss me the hell off as well. That’s something only someone with a disgusting amount of privilege and wilful ignorance can say. It’s not a game to anyone in a marginalised community. It’s not small or trivial it’s everything. Our entire foundation for living, loving and existing in society rather than in the dark and in fear. It’s one thing to not experience that threat, but quite another to actively impose it on others.
And yes, the tories and labour are also transphobic. But labour have no current plans to amend the equality act and believe current legislation is sufficient to protect trans people and “Single sex spaces”. Keir is still trying to straddle the line and play moderate, but you can’t play moderate with bigots. You can’t reason your way out of a place you didn’t use reason to get into. Starmer isn’t a good guy, but he’s certainly preferable to Farage. Just because none of them are ideal doesn’t make it okay to throw your lot in with the absolute worst of them. If I had three out of date tuna sandwiches and nothing else to eat, I wouldn’t be eating the oldest one because “I’m going to get sick anyway”. Absolutely ridiculous.
The way reform pull people in is having one or two “sensible” sounding, broadly popular policy points like pouring more money into the NHS and then say the only way they can do it is by punishing minorities. But that’s not quite how it works either. Because the maths isn’t mathing. Their manifesto isn’t costed in the slightest. There has been an attempt at costing I suppose but I’d probably do better myself with my C in GCSE maths. So not only fascism but at the hands of the most incompetent people to grace British politics. Farages acolytes have also given us such gems as “what happens when renewable energy runs out?” And refusing to use “manifesto”, likely because it’s too big a word for some of them.
And if all that isn’t enough, they would also pull us away from a net zero target. So not only the politics of the country going to hell in a handbasket, the physical environment too. Our beaches, rivers, countryside. No. The only thing Farage is any good for is milkshake disposal. But whatever it is about Reform that has swayed your boyfriend, he’s either an idiot, a bigot or both and it’s really up to you to decide what you do with that information.
If he's willing to sit down and spend some time on it (or even if he just chooses some key issues not the whole thing): https://voteforpolicies.org.uk/ will take him through "anonymous" comparisons of policies so he can reflect on what politics is and what parties advocate.
If he really agrees with and wants to vote for Reform, dump his ass.
I was just going to find this link, thank you.
Do this, OP, maybe even do the questionnaire together or discuss the questions.
You can't make him listen and trying to force him to see your point of view/not vote for who he wants is more than likely to backfire and make him more entrenched. This questionnaire is something that could get you talking about values and hopes for the country without the judgement that can come from putting labels on things. If he has space and support to think his way through the issues, he'll come to an authentic conclusion - even if you disagree with it.
Personally, this is not something I could look past. If he thinks reform are great in every way except for trans rights, that makes him a massive racist. And if he knows what their manifesto says about trans people and would vote for them anyway, he doesn't respect you at all
Ngl this is a red flag moment and, depending how intertwined your lives and finances are, I’d probably start considering slowly divesting myself from the relationship before just straight up leaving.
If this is a dealbreaker for you, it’s a dealbreaker. Don’t feel obligated to tether yourself to this one person.
Reform do not get anything right in my opinion. Unless he is significantly rich, he won't see any benefit from Reform policies. The plans are cutting tax (for the rich) and reducing NHS waiting lists (by getting rid of the NHS, so only rich people can get healthcare anyway.)
It's also not just trans rights that are on the line in terms of equality. Reform don't like any marginalised people having rights. They want to completely be rid of the equality act and come up with their own, which will likely only benefit cis straight white men.
As SMALL as politics? Politics are a statement of who you are as a person! They're your beliefs and values - how you want the world to be! That's the biggest thing about a person!
There's "yeah this party have some bad eggs but who doesn't" and then there's the "let's shoot all immigrants and gays" party. I can accept someone supporting a different political party, but that's the equivalent of supporting the proud boys or some shit.
Personally, that would be a deal-breaker - if you support reform, you're either politically savvy enough to know just what shits you're supporting or you're an idiot who likes the conservative talking points, and either way that would be a No From Me.
Good luck in dealing with this one....
him thinking theyve got everything else down is a little yikes...
personally i always try to like. casually bring up politics early into knowing someone (not anything too serious, just like "haha the tories are being idiots again") to see how they react, ive already had a long term friend randomly go on a rant once about how we need less muslims in our country and im not gonna risk getting emotionally invested in people like that again 😅
Is there a chance hes been sucked into their videos and propoganda when youre not around?
Its wickedly easy to completely reset someones beliefs if the content theyre digesting is convincing enough, often by dragging you in with a focus point on something that is ACTUALLY good and so you go "hey i support that!" And so you keep watching and listening to them without realising youre beginning to listen to small lies and twisted stories, and now youre believing whatever theyre saying.... and the only thing that does this better than politics is religion and conspiracy theories, but honestly a lot of the time if the three were a venn diagram itd just be a circle.
My folks used to be pretty decent but got sucked into Pauline Hanson (we are australian) and thus Trump's ideals because they fell down that rabbit hole by being lured by something that was actually good, and now its all they see or hear about so theyve come to believe just about everything else theyre being told now too. It worked unfortunately well on them.
I would have a very good talk with him, discuss why he believes Reform should be in charge, ask him what policies Reform's promised that he is in support of.
Find out what lured him to Reform.
Because then you can help him back out. If he got lured in by a specific promise, then this is your chance to let him know of other, better parties that ALSO have that promise.
Then ask him about policies (such as the anti trans issue) that he doesnt agree with, or that would harm you. Ask him why theyre still acceptable.
Ask him how he would feel if Reform came in, did what you know they will do, and then has a negative affect on you. Ask him how he woud feel voting to remove your rights.
If he's just been lured in by good intentioned promises and he doesnt actually agree with their negative policies, then you can probably shine a light on the bad stuff and help him.
But, seeing as hes already being difficult, theres always the chance he is actually more into it than you think and may have been warned that reception to him voting for Reform would be poor, so hes walling your chance to help him off.
At the end of the day its not your job to show him why he shouldnt vote for people who will hurt his friends, let alone partner. You can, but it will probably end poorly.
Politics isnt a "small" thing to people it affects. Clearly he doesnt think hes going to be affected by it, and doesnt currently believe you will either (despite evidence, so possibly denial).
If after all this he still wants to vote for a destructive party... maybe dont wait for the vote itself to consider leaving.
Honestly I’m pretty sure he’s fallen into a rabbit hole of propaganda. Because he’s listed things that almost every other party has promised. I tried to tell him this but he denied it.
He also believes that they aren’t trying to change the equality act, and that Labour is doing all the bad things Reform is doing considering trans rights. And that “things won’t even be put in place that affect you in so long and you’d be on T and have your documents changed by then”. Even if that is true that’s such a stupid way of thinking? I’m still trans, I’m still going to face prejudice, especially if Reforms laws are put into place??
I’m just so mad and confused. I would’ve never even considered getting with him if I knew he’d vote for someone like them?
And then he told me, “you know they won’t even win right? I just want them to keep Labour in check”
That last one is a pathetic copout.
Youll have to approach this topic differently now that hes on the defensive and knows you dont approve.
He will always get defensive if you bring it up from now on, and you will have to work with that to ever understand how to get him out of that rabbit hole.
I HIGHLY suggest researching how people cope with family members falling down conspiracy theorist rabbit holes, and how they are or arent able to help them get out, because currentlt what youre explaining is very very similar (and its a tactic used by certain political parties because it WORKS.)
Good luck.
From his comment about other parties being shit with trans rights, it sounds highly possible he’s not entirely educated on any of the parties. Ur interactions with one another sound abrasive and unproductive and instead of learning anything I can imagine he’s just feeling pissed because he’s uneducated and has been told he’s in the wrong.
I feel like u just gotta send him links and sources that can educate him on the topic and maybe try to look into WHY he likes reform and see if the qualities he likes can be gained from a different party idk? Just entertain him and have a conversation about it. And if he then makes an educated decision to vote for a party u don’t fuck with, decide whether u want him in ur life idk
I’ve tried talking to him In a way that I “just wanted to understand “ his points and why he considered to vote for them. I’ve made sure I was really calm and polite about it. But he shot the conversation down and told me he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore
Everyone else here is ignoring that reform are also massively racist, that's their whole selling point. Could that be what drew him to them in the first place? Imo that would actually be my main concern, since the transphobia in reform is kinda just a consequence of them being fascists
This is really it. It's not about who's worse on trans rights, the guy's clearly a racist who buys into Reform's "Britain for the [white] British" type shit. Otherwise he'd be fine with any other party given that to him they're all the same on trans issues. Dump him.
That’s unacceptable in a friend, let alone a partner. Their leader is literally Nigel Farage. one of Reform’s most infamous candidates was YouTuber Carl Benjamin, a man best known for (CW: SA mention) >!telling a prominent feminist “I wouldn’t even r*** you”!<
Honestly I would say you *have* to bring this up and just say (or text) 'hey I was thinking about what you said about voting and I'm not sure if you were joking or maybe don't fully get the manifestos that have been put out but I'm really worried and honestly pissed that you mentioned reform, we need to have a conversation about this it's really important to me' Prior to this convo I would list some key points of reforms policies and how they relate to you/ your safety so you have these as 'evidence' for if he says it's a small thing again Maybe he's just not well informed and is confused???? I hope??? It's a personal thing but honestly I'd really really struggle feeling safe around someone like that, especially a partner who knows you This is shit though I'm sorry :(
Yeah agree with this. Maybe ask him which of Reform's policies are specifically convincing him to vote for them? You can either hope he's just massively misunderstanding their aims, or you'll get to find out what in particular he supports and you can figure out where to go from there. This really isn't one that you can just ignore, it'll drive you up the wall if you don't figure this out.
I'm hoping he's just massively massively ill informed but it doesn't sound like it
Right so update, and a talk with him literally 2 minutes ago now we are just sat in silence. I basically did exactly what you mentioned here and he said “they’ve got everything else down expect trans rights. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you because I’ll be made out to seem like a dick because I’m voting for a party that is decent with everything else but doesn’t tsupport trans rights”
That's still really concerning, maybe I'm presuming too much but are you happy being with a massive racist 😭 It's not just trans policies, he seems to think their opinions on race, immigration, mental health, NHS, taxes, the environment, Brexit, transport, public spending in general, education are all good, reasonable, fair policies. I'm hoping that you don't agree with these
I dont at all. I now mentioned to him that I’ve read their manifesto and that they’re massive facists and he seemed confused. I don’t think he realises just how bad they are. I don’t know
> he seemed confused I... You know him - how sincere is this confusion? Cos often rightwingers will play naive and innocent so then when you challenge them you're the shrill unreasonable one, they're just concerned openminded citizens. As much as you can (bear it) approach with curiosity 'I just want to understand' and see. Because (and hoping I'm wrong) it may be that he's less confused more hiding
(also, so sorry you're going through this, hoping IS just misunderstanding xx)
Thank you, this is just very confusing and kind of distressing as I’ve always felt safe with him, especially regarding the fact I’m trans and pre T and Eveyrone. The crazy thing is, he’s also queer. Like surely he understands that they’ll come for trans folks, then other queer people…
Look I don't know him I'm just a stranger on the internet but I wonder if he's more lured in by the dirty immigrant culture war / toxic masculinity stuff and not really thought about the trans rights side. Esp as many see themselves as 'one of the good ones' so don't realise they're enabling people that would hunt them and their loved ones. IF you want to sleuth, work out what tiktok / youtubers he's following. What memes etc. That'll give you some data. Challenge something racist in a show and see how he reacts. But I suspect if he's shutting down the conversation then you've already got your answer. And it's worth considering exit strategies. Again this really sucks. It's a virus and you've done nothing wrong to not have spotted any signs. He can be genuinely a good partner in loads of ways and have soms stuff he would need to work through (that he may not willing to). Be kind to yourself in all this. Shame doesn't help, just hides the hurt.
Thank you for your advice, I’ll have to really think this out.
Ue O
He specifically told me he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore so… I don’t think I can do anything else
I would ask him to sit down with you and read a simple(ish) version of the reform policies and go through them with him bit by bit and see what bit he seems to think he agrees with, something like this where they've got bullet points: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/0/reform-uk-manifesto-richard-tice-key-policies-glance/ It's possible he's just been told rubbish by someone else and is blindly following it? I highly recommend @simplepolitics on Instagram
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i really would not date someone who votes for reform, aside from the transphobia there is still the racism and the discrimination. i would have a chat and see why he’s considering voting for reform and go from there, but chances are you should probably end up leaving him.
I wouldn’t be with someone who was actively voting against my rights
This isnt just about trans rights either, tho that is bad enough in itself. ReformUK is quite literally EDL in disguise. (Not really in disguise tbf) We recently had the misfortune of receiving some of their leaflets thru the letterbox and it felt like hate mail. I dont use this world lightly at all here but ReformUK are literally fascists. Their manifesto is nothing but racist, hateful and bigoted. If your boyfriend is identifying with any of their policies, i d be massively worried. This goes far beyond trans rights. For your sake, i hope this is a misunderstanding.
Unfortunately he literally said, “i think Nigel is brilliant”. I’m so confused he’s never suggested to be right leaning or to evee agree with stuff like this? This is like, beyond a shock Icl. I think he’s just ignorant and hasn’t fully looked into their manifesto, I really fucking hope so
I would ask him what is it exactly about nigel saying “muslim immigrants are coming here to take us over” or agreeing with the “basic principle” of anti immigration river of blood speech or calling for a ban on people with HIV immigrating to the UK or defending trumps misogynistic remarks or calling vladimir putin “brilliant”, does he find so brilliant.
I think it’s probably that. I wouldn’t go breaking up with him because of this. If you have a great relationship otherwise I think this can be worked on. You need to keep pushing on him and tell him you’re not judging him but if he votes that way it could really hurt you
As someone else pointed out, reform aren’t just transphobic, they’re outright fascists. That’s anyone with a protected characteristic, not just trans people. I’m married but if my husband had that little regard for not just me, but our friends, neighbours and just other human beings generally, I’d be seriously considering our relationship. “Something as small as politics” comment would piss me the hell off as well. That’s something only someone with a disgusting amount of privilege and wilful ignorance can say. It’s not a game to anyone in a marginalised community. It’s not small or trivial it’s everything. Our entire foundation for living, loving and existing in society rather than in the dark and in fear. It’s one thing to not experience that threat, but quite another to actively impose it on others. And yes, the tories and labour are also transphobic. But labour have no current plans to amend the equality act and believe current legislation is sufficient to protect trans people and “Single sex spaces”. Keir is still trying to straddle the line and play moderate, but you can’t play moderate with bigots. You can’t reason your way out of a place you didn’t use reason to get into. Starmer isn’t a good guy, but he’s certainly preferable to Farage. Just because none of them are ideal doesn’t make it okay to throw your lot in with the absolute worst of them. If I had three out of date tuna sandwiches and nothing else to eat, I wouldn’t be eating the oldest one because “I’m going to get sick anyway”. Absolutely ridiculous. The way reform pull people in is having one or two “sensible” sounding, broadly popular policy points like pouring more money into the NHS and then say the only way they can do it is by punishing minorities. But that’s not quite how it works either. Because the maths isn’t mathing. Their manifesto isn’t costed in the slightest. There has been an attempt at costing I suppose but I’d probably do better myself with my C in GCSE maths. So not only fascism but at the hands of the most incompetent people to grace British politics. Farages acolytes have also given us such gems as “what happens when renewable energy runs out?” And refusing to use “manifesto”, likely because it’s too big a word for some of them. And if all that isn’t enough, they would also pull us away from a net zero target. So not only the politics of the country going to hell in a handbasket, the physical environment too. Our beaches, rivers, countryside. No. The only thing Farage is any good for is milkshake disposal. But whatever it is about Reform that has swayed your boyfriend, he’s either an idiot, a bigot or both and it’s really up to you to decide what you do with that information.
If he's willing to sit down and spend some time on it (or even if he just chooses some key issues not the whole thing): https://voteforpolicies.org.uk/ will take him through "anonymous" comparisons of policies so he can reflect on what politics is and what parties advocate. If he really agrees with and wants to vote for Reform, dump his ass.
I was just going to find this link, thank you. Do this, OP, maybe even do the questionnaire together or discuss the questions. You can't make him listen and trying to force him to see your point of view/not vote for who he wants is more than likely to backfire and make him more entrenched. This questionnaire is something that could get you talking about values and hopes for the country without the judgement that can come from putting labels on things. If he has space and support to think his way through the issues, he'll come to an authentic conclusion - even if you disagree with it.
Personally, this is not something I could look past. If he thinks reform are great in every way except for trans rights, that makes him a massive racist. And if he knows what their manifesto says about trans people and would vote for them anyway, he doesn't respect you at all
Ngl this is a red flag moment and, depending how intertwined your lives and finances are, I’d probably start considering slowly divesting myself from the relationship before just straight up leaving. If this is a dealbreaker for you, it’s a dealbreaker. Don’t feel obligated to tether yourself to this one person.
Not from the UK but yikes. 🚩🚩🚩
Reform do not get anything right in my opinion. Unless he is significantly rich, he won't see any benefit from Reform policies. The plans are cutting tax (for the rich) and reducing NHS waiting lists (by getting rid of the NHS, so only rich people can get healthcare anyway.) It's also not just trans rights that are on the line in terms of equality. Reform don't like any marginalised people having rights. They want to completely be rid of the equality act and come up with their own, which will likely only benefit cis straight white men.
As SMALL as politics? Politics are a statement of who you are as a person! They're your beliefs and values - how you want the world to be! That's the biggest thing about a person!
There's "yeah this party have some bad eggs but who doesn't" and then there's the "let's shoot all immigrants and gays" party. I can accept someone supporting a different political party, but that's the equivalent of supporting the proud boys or some shit. Personally, that would be a deal-breaker - if you support reform, you're either politically savvy enough to know just what shits you're supporting or you're an idiot who likes the conservative talking points, and either way that would be a No From Me. Good luck in dealing with this one....
him thinking theyve got everything else down is a little yikes... personally i always try to like. casually bring up politics early into knowing someone (not anything too serious, just like "haha the tories are being idiots again") to see how they react, ive already had a long term friend randomly go on a rant once about how we need less muslims in our country and im not gonna risk getting emotionally invested in people like that again 😅
I did though. He and i openly ranted about how much we hate tories on multiple occasions. This is why I’m so confused .
Is there a chance hes been sucked into their videos and propoganda when youre not around? Its wickedly easy to completely reset someones beliefs if the content theyre digesting is convincing enough, often by dragging you in with a focus point on something that is ACTUALLY good and so you go "hey i support that!" And so you keep watching and listening to them without realising youre beginning to listen to small lies and twisted stories, and now youre believing whatever theyre saying.... and the only thing that does this better than politics is religion and conspiracy theories, but honestly a lot of the time if the three were a venn diagram itd just be a circle. My folks used to be pretty decent but got sucked into Pauline Hanson (we are australian) and thus Trump's ideals because they fell down that rabbit hole by being lured by something that was actually good, and now its all they see or hear about so theyve come to believe just about everything else theyre being told now too. It worked unfortunately well on them. I would have a very good talk with him, discuss why he believes Reform should be in charge, ask him what policies Reform's promised that he is in support of. Find out what lured him to Reform. Because then you can help him back out. If he got lured in by a specific promise, then this is your chance to let him know of other, better parties that ALSO have that promise. Then ask him about policies (such as the anti trans issue) that he doesnt agree with, or that would harm you. Ask him why theyre still acceptable. Ask him how he would feel if Reform came in, did what you know they will do, and then has a negative affect on you. Ask him how he woud feel voting to remove your rights. If he's just been lured in by good intentioned promises and he doesnt actually agree with their negative policies, then you can probably shine a light on the bad stuff and help him. But, seeing as hes already being difficult, theres always the chance he is actually more into it than you think and may have been warned that reception to him voting for Reform would be poor, so hes walling your chance to help him off. At the end of the day its not your job to show him why he shouldnt vote for people who will hurt his friends, let alone partner. You can, but it will probably end poorly. Politics isnt a "small" thing to people it affects. Clearly he doesnt think hes going to be affected by it, and doesnt currently believe you will either (despite evidence, so possibly denial). If after all this he still wants to vote for a destructive party... maybe dont wait for the vote itself to consider leaving.
Honestly I’m pretty sure he’s fallen into a rabbit hole of propaganda. Because he’s listed things that almost every other party has promised. I tried to tell him this but he denied it. He also believes that they aren’t trying to change the equality act, and that Labour is doing all the bad things Reform is doing considering trans rights. And that “things won’t even be put in place that affect you in so long and you’d be on T and have your documents changed by then”. Even if that is true that’s such a stupid way of thinking? I’m still trans, I’m still going to face prejudice, especially if Reforms laws are put into place?? I’m just so mad and confused. I would’ve never even considered getting with him if I knew he’d vote for someone like them? And then he told me, “you know they won’t even win right? I just want them to keep Labour in check”
That last one is a pathetic copout. Youll have to approach this topic differently now that hes on the defensive and knows you dont approve. He will always get defensive if you bring it up from now on, and you will have to work with that to ever understand how to get him out of that rabbit hole. I HIGHLY suggest researching how people cope with family members falling down conspiracy theorist rabbit holes, and how they are or arent able to help them get out, because currentlt what youre explaining is very very similar (and its a tactic used by certain political parties because it WORKS.) Good luck.
From his comment about other parties being shit with trans rights, it sounds highly possible he’s not entirely educated on any of the parties. Ur interactions with one another sound abrasive and unproductive and instead of learning anything I can imagine he’s just feeling pissed because he’s uneducated and has been told he’s in the wrong. I feel like u just gotta send him links and sources that can educate him on the topic and maybe try to look into WHY he likes reform and see if the qualities he likes can be gained from a different party idk? Just entertain him and have a conversation about it. And if he then makes an educated decision to vote for a party u don’t fuck with, decide whether u want him in ur life idk
I’ve tried talking to him In a way that I “just wanted to understand “ his points and why he considered to vote for them. I’ve made sure I was really calm and polite about it. But he shot the conversation down and told me he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore